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What kind of body language is this?

Q.   Can anyone tell me what type of body language the following comes across in a male (apart from just being a comfortable position). I was sat next to a male friend on a sofa, he had chosen to sit next to me when there were other chairs in the ro...

A.   28 March 2019: Some people claim it is more comfortable … but if that is the case how come men down through the ages haven't been painted, or photographed, doing the man spread? Spreading their legs like that was found to be so offensive in Spain that the ... (read in full...)

I want to sleep with my boyfriend (no sex) but my parents said NO

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month. This weekend he asked if I could sleep over. Obviously, I’d love to. However, my parents are catholic and extremely conservative. I brought up the idea and they automatically said no. Honestly, ...

A.   26 March 2019: Hormones, a boy professing love, some gentle touching in the night, promises of everlasting feelings, if you really loved him you would let him just put his hand up your shirt … in his room it will be all romantic and next thing you know his hand ... (read in full...)

If I move in as he suggests I fear I will be stuck into one of his little compartments and kept separate from his life

Q.   Hi, was looking for advice. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for around 2 years. He has basically been staying at mine every night for over a year but still maintains his own place which has made money really tight as he cant afford ...

A.   26 March 2019: From reading your letter I cannot see how this move would be a good move for you, or help the relationship grow. You have been seeing him for 2 years and yet he has not welcomed you into his life, no introduction to his friends or family, ... (read in full...)

How do you handle being a single mom even though married because your husband is working away from home?

Q.   My husband and I have been married for almost four years, and he has worked out of town (his cousin owns a construction company) off and on throughout that time; whenever he did, he was gone during the week and home every weekend. It sucked, but it ...

A.   17 January 2019: There are growing numbers of families where one parent works away regularly. Though usually working in the resource sector, other sectors that often require onsite workers include: the defence forces, transport, maritime, small business, corporate, ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend tries to have anal sex without my permission. Does he not respect me?

Q.   I am 64 female,boyfriend is 60,seeing each other for 6 weeks now and have had amazing sex,he is much more sexually experienced and into porn very much. He tried to enter me analy without asking me and I jumped back because it really hurt,told him ...

A.   9 January 2019: If you have told him you don't do anal and he keeps trying then NO, he doesn't respect you. If you have told him this and he does it anyway it is rape. Have the discussion, sit him down to talk and make sure he is listening, he needs to be ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend says he doesn't have time to be with me when I am sad or upset

Q.   My boyfriend of 10 months has been staying away from me for a few weeks now after we had this fight. It was over the matter regarding my promotion and i was talking to him about it and got carried away talking about the promotion related other stuff ...

A.   8 January 2019: This guy doesn't respect you, if he did he wouldn't be putting conditions down, like not wanting to make a commitment unless you prove you can live "nicely" with him first … has he told you EXACTLY what nicely means? Ask him to write down in dot ... (read in full...)

How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend?

Q.   I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming. When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was chea...

A.   29 December 2018: Thanks for the follow up Brett … don't give up on the family yet, they have a lot to readjust to, it IS possible for it to all turn out well, and for your girlfriend's children to be accepted as part of the extended family. I've seen a very similar ... (read in full...)

How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend?

Q.   I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming. When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was chea...

A.   29 December 2018: Y'know, I am going to be a fence sitter on this one. Whilst I wouldn't say your relationship is DOOOOMED from the start, there are going to be a lot of hurdles to jump before it all settles down into ordinary ever after …. a two year old a ... (read in full...)

I'm flying 1/2 way across the world to see me girlfriend who is probably going to break up with me?

Q.   For the past few months, I've been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years. The long distance is supposed to last another 5 months. I'm planning to visit her next week for a few days on my way to a conference, and then again ...

A.   27 December 2018: pack up her clothes, send a text asking what she wants done with them, donate to charity if she doesn't respond. Ask your mum if she knows anybody who would appreciate the Christmas gift, or sell it on your local buy and sell pages. As for the ... (read in full...)

My friend has gotten himself involved with a bad girl and I want to help him but unsure what to do

Q.   I'm worried about a guy friend as he's got himself involved with a girl who is bad news. Hes started distancing himself from everyone who's warning him and is distancing himself from close friends She's a complete bitch sorry to say - take a mon...

A.   24 December 2018: You cant help him, he has to want to get out of it himself. If you feel so inclined be there to pick up the pieces if / when it all coms crumbling down but there is nothing you can do except get on with living your own life.... (read in full...)

We had a fight my children's present are at my boyfriend's house and he won't let me get them

Q.   My boyfriend ruins every Christmas and I don't know what to do. We went last minute shopping today which was his idea. In a supermarket he said he needed the toilet so I decided to cash in a scratch card while I was waiting. The till is right by...

A.   24 December 2018: No. you call the police, or a big burly male relative or your mum and you go round there and you ask politely and calmly for your children's presents. if he refuses then you go home and tell your kids where their presents are and then you don't have ... (read in full...)

Should your spouse be prioritized over your adult children?

Q.   My question, Should your spouse come 2nd (God is always 1st) or your adult children? My wife's daughter (my stepdaughter) is a full on alcoholic/drug addict. For over 3yrs now I have delt with the constant absence of my wife because her daughter ...

A.   20 December 2018: Seek legal advise. Find out if you can stop your wife accessing your assets to support the junkie daughter. And then tell her (if its legal to do so), that you are not prepared to watch your retirement go down the drain. If you feel strongly ... (read in full...)

How do I accept that he’s moved on with his new girlfriend?

Q.   I am struggling to get past the fact that my ex-husband (of 20 yrs) has met a woman from another country on a dating website whom he has visited 3 times and holidayed in Europe with. We have a child who he is supposed to have for part of Christma...

A.   19 December 2018: I agree with Honeypie with regard to your inlaws … your child's grandparents … A POX ON THEM! There isn't much you can do about your ex's choices, I recommend you keep a diary, a ruled exercise book will suit, and keep copies of emails in here (gl... (read in full...)

I can't get my ex to leave me alone

Q.   So, I was engaged to a guy and we broke up a year ago. So, my ex is military he moved to Germany while I live in the U.S. it was a toxic relationship. When he was in the U.S. him and I we’re together for two years. We broke up and got back together ...

A.   9 December 2018: I remember your first contact with this site, when he left flowers on your car. I am surprised he is still stalking you after all this time. I don't want to be an alarmist but he sounds like he could get dangerous. You are under NO OBLIGATION to ... (read in full...)

How do I get my mistress to return to me?

Q.   Hi I am a male of 48 yrs - since 2 yrs I am with a mistress of 42 yrs - Now she is afraid of her home to be broken - leaving me alone - I use to buy a lot of things for her. Now How can I convince her to return with me ?...

A.   6 December 2018: Sounds like her partner is suspicious and she is scared of losing all that she has, has she got children, maybe she is scared of losing them. Next time find a woman who isn't already involved elsewhere. ... (read in full...)

Do you think it’s wrong to talk to my mom about the breast augumentation she had and has hidden from me?

Q.   Do you think it’s wrong to talk to my mom about the breast augmentantion she had and has hiden from me? My mom since I know her she is “strugling financially” she never has money, ever gives me enough money, I mean the most she gave me when gro...

A.   6 December 2018: Okayyyyyy If you mother used to go on holiday and leave you behind to take care of your father and brothers why aren't you asking your father for money to live? You have a lot to say about your mother's spending habits and how there is never any... (read in full...)

How could he treat me so badly and now act like nothing bad ever happened between us?

Q.   Hi 6 years ago I met the man of my dreams I was madly in love with him and things were going well after a year of been together I fell pregnant and miscarried the baby the next day my boyfriend kicked me out of his flat no explanation as to why he ...

A.   2 December 2018: What a horrible person he is. You have made the right decision to not have anything further to do with him, your "friends" on the other hand, tell them you don't care what he says about anything and you would appreciate it if they didn't repeat his ... (read in full...)

I feel like I need her permission to leave the relationship. Is she crazy?

Q.   Hi everyone, I need advice about a girl who I think is totally crazy. I am 26 and she is 33. Bit of an age gap but she seemed very nice so i thought i'd give her a chance. I decided now I don't want to be with her but I want to know if I did an...

A.   2 December 2018: She sure sounds psycho. I agree that ghosting her wont work, you need to tell her "don't contact me, I don't want a relationship with you." Each time she contacts after that block the number. Keep track of when and how she contacts you in case ... (read in full...)

I'm flying 1/2 way across the world to see me girlfriend who is probably going to break up with me?

Q.   For the past few months, I've been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years. The long distance is supposed to last another 5 months. I'm planning to visit her next week for a few days on my way to a conference, and then again ...

A.   26 November 2018: Get a hotel room, you are already doing a lot of travelling, tell her your decision now so she has time to organise to travel to you …. if you are correct and she is going to end things it will be much better for you emotionally and mentally if she ... (read in full...)

We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me

Q.   After 20 yrs of marriage my husband asks for threesome, after two yrs we finally tell my friend that she is our threesome girl, my husband was madly in love with me, then I hear that she is coming over to visit during the day to smoke, then I notice ...

A.   24 November 2018: Start getting your ducks in a row, and by this I mean get your finances in order, close any joint accounts, make sure any household expenses are not in your name only and seek legal advise. I does not sound good for your marriage.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend who is broke pretends to take control of my economy and my bank.

Q.   Me (22) and my boyfriend (26) went on a trip that we didn´t plan. At first it seemed like a good idea because he was about to get some money for having quit his job, and someone was about to send him money that the person owed to me. I spent al...

A.   23 November 2018: Are there places that support women in Ecuador? Like a refuge or women's health centre, it sounds like your boyfriend is a thief and a liar, you need to find someplace else to live … before he realises you cannot give him anymore money and he goes ... (read in full...)

I think he's going through a midlife crisis he went to Thailand and met a girl and he doesn't know that I know

Q.   I have been dating a man for over a year who has just recently gone through a divorce. (Nothing to do with me). I felt he used me as a punching bag as he was very angry about the divorce although I knew he loved me. He stopped speaking to me f...

A.   19 November 2018: I'm thinking if there was no sex with the girl in Thailand she might very well be what is known as a "ladyboy". In the meantime take the opportunity that's been given to you and put as much distance as you can between yourself and him. Honeypie... (read in full...)

He insists he has changed, can it be true? Or is this all a front to win me back?

Q.   I recently posted a question a few weeks ago about my situtation of after a long break apart, my ex boyfriend is claiming and insisting he is a changed man. We have met up occasionally as "dates" which often led to dicussing our relationship and set ...

A.   16 November 2018: Probably not, its very difficult to make changes to yourself in a short period of time, it can take months, or years of conscious effort and often also requires the input of sessions with a counsellor or therapist. The fact he is lashing out is a... (read in full...)

He insists he has changed, can it be true? Or is this all a front to win me back?

Q.   I recently posted a question a few weeks ago about my situtation of after a long break apart, my ex boyfriend is claiming and insisting he is a changed man. We have met up occasionally as "dates" which often led to dicussing our relationship and set ...

A.   16 November 2018: Probably not, its very difficult to make changes to yourself in a short period of time, it can take months, or years of conscious effort and often also requires the input of sessions with a counsellor or therapist. The fact he is lashing out is a... (read in full...)

I’m pregnant and confused and worried about what I should have happen next!

Q.   Just wanted to ask others opinions on this subject. Basically i have quite a bit of bad look with relationships, i have my own house and and have been living on my own now with just my dog and rabbit which is how i like it for 3 years now. I did ...

A.   12 November 2018: No! Don't be pressured into anything. It is not necessary for the baby's well being for him to live in the same house, if it was he would still be living in the same house as his other two children. If you prefer to take this slow then he has t... (read in full...)

I like a guy but another girl might steal him.

Q.   I like this uy named Jonah but im not sure how to go about it because we only talk in school and this one girl Aliyah may steal him but I feel like me and him have a connection...

A.   11 November 2018: Being a teenager is tough, at times it’s as if every day has traps and detours designed to throw you off track and upset the equilibrium. Toss guys and dating and maybe a love triangle into the mix and it gets even more complicated. The first th... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is perfect, but I want an open relationship.

Q.   Hi people. I met my current girlfriend a little over two years ago and I was not the social type back then. I never really went out a lot and hanging out with friends was pretty much 'indoor'. After I met her I became very outgoing. We went t...

A.   11 November 2018: Your girlfriend and what you have now can't be too perfect if you are willing to toss it aside for some random sex. Are you asking for advice on how to convince your girlfriend to agree to something that very few women in this world would agree to... (read in full...)

She seems open but what if she is telling me lies?

Q.   Been single now for about 5 months after a long term relationship, and met someone a few weeks ago that i hit it off with, it happend very randomly and out of the blue. being careful, or at least trying to be ive had my guard up. but it feels right ...

A.   10 November 2018: It might have been a family member or friend visiting, her neighbour might have parked there because no space in his driveway, her ex might have come over to pick up the last of his CDs …. There is really no way to solve this, if you confront... (read in full...)

Sometimes I feel lost about who I am.

Q.   Hi All, Might sound like a silly issue raised, but I have a problem trying to have self belief sometimes. I feel I have come from a relatively tough background (in comparison to most people around me) divorced immature parents, a mother with a pe...

A.   10 November 2018: You would be surprised how many famous people feel as you do, it's known as "Imposter Syndrome." Google it. I also feel that some counselling might be beneficial, just to deal with the detritus of your upbringing, and it might help shine a ... (read in full...)

Is what this 15 year old girl wears okay around a father who drinks?

Q.   Is it ok for a 15 year old girl to walk around the house in her bra around her father...and he drinks heavy so his judgement could be possible inpaired .what should I do? how should I handle this while staying with them....?...

A.   8 November 2018: And to follow up, if you believe this is a man who will not be able to control his judgement around his own daughter when he has been drinking heavily why would you even want to be involved with a man like that.... (read in full...)

My ex girlfriend wants to be reimbursed for gifts she gave me.

Q.   I have recently broke up with my girlfriend after nine months together, a couple of weeks before we separated she bought me a present but now we're not together she's asking me to give her back the money she spent on that present, I don't think ...

A.   8 November 2018: If you accepted the gift knowing a breakup was on the cards she may feel you accepted it under false pretences. Legally you don't have to return it, or pay for it but for a clean break and to sort the issue out give her the money. ... (read in full...)

Is what this 15 year old girl wears okay around a father who drinks?

Q.   Is it ok for a 15 year old girl to walk around the house in her bra around her father...and he drinks heavy so his judgement could be possible inpaired .what should I do? how should I handle this while staying with them....?...

A.   8 November 2018: With respect. Your assumption men who drink cant be trusted to not sexually abuse their daughters is way off limits. If a man is inclined to have inappropriate thoughts or to have sex with hi teenage daughter he will do it if she is wearing a bra ... (read in full...)

Why do I attract abusive men? My current bf said that I deserve disrespect because I'm not glamorous!

Q.   My boyfriend said I don't deserve to be talked at with respect because I'm not glam. Why do I attract abusive men both my last two boyfriend's have been that way. Verbally and physically....

A.   6 November 2018: When a boyfriend says that sort of thing you pick up your handbag and walk …. don't bother saying goodbye or being polite because you are not going to get it. So regardless his opinion show yourself some respect and remove yourself from there. J... (read in full...)

We have fun and the sex is amazing but then why doesn't he fall for me?

Q.   Hey all. I feel like a spoilt brat here, like Verruca Salt when she can't get what she wants. I've completely fallen for a co worker. He works in another office and lives 80 miles away. He lives alone (divorced with a son) as I live with parents ...

A.   6 November 2018: Why would he bother offering anything …. he has all best bits of a relationship, amazing sex, fun, outings, being delivered to his door each weekend without having to actually put in any work. He has no reason to change the status quo, and I su... (read in full...)

She said no. Should I keep trying?

Q.   So, I've liked somebody for a long time (2-3 years) and recently, a couple of weeks ago I decided to tell them how I felt. I've been friends with her since we first met and everybody I know was certain she was into me as well. Unfortunately I was ...

A.   28 October 2018: She said no. You need to respect that. You persisting will only make her believe that you are creepy and disrespectful. She isn't interested so leave her alone.... (read in full...)

How can I make her my girlfriend?

Q.   There is this girl I work with and I really, really like her. Her and I both started working together at the same time and she has been in 2 relationships that hadn't ended well. She knows I like her and care a lot about her, but she keeps saying ...

A.   28 October 2018: She said she doesn't feel the same. Why can't you accept that? Have you not been keeping up with current events, women are not accepting bad behaviour from men any more. It doesn't matter if you want a relationship, she doesn't. If you persist in ... (read in full...)

Lover wants to stay with his children for now

Q.   My lover cannot live with me just yet because he still wants to live with his children who are 21 and 19.....He said they still need him .... He doesn’t love his wife... they share no interests as a couple, just stayed married for their kids sake... ...

A.   28 October 2018: You are wasting your time. They will leave home but there will be little hiccups in their lives he will need to be there for, and then will come the engagements weddings grandchildren first birthdays first Easters first Christmases fi... (read in full...)

We met online I'm 18 he's 34. Is it wrong that I want to be with him?

Q.   I just want opinions. I have known a man for over 3 months now. We met online, we Skype regularly, he's amazing. We talk everyday. He lives 2 hours away from me.The only thing is he is 34 and I am 18. I want to be with him so bad. Is this wro...

A.   27 October 2018: I just have alarm bells ringing all over each time I read this, and so many questions …. have you met in person, who does he live with, is he employed, has he met your parents and your friends, does he work, what sort of work, what do you know ... (read in full...)

I can't give either of them up but I know I need to in the long term.

Q.   I'm in a relationship with a great man. We have our ups and downs as do any couple but he is undoubtably who I want to be with and we are on the whole very happy. However. I have been having a fling/relationship - call or what you will, with someo...

A.   27 October 2018: I hope you feel marginally better now that you have got that off your chest ….. because that's all you were doing really, you didn't ask a question, you already know the score, no matter what happens your current partner has been cheated on, and the ... (read in full...)

He didn't disclose his real age. Am I overreacting?

Q.   I met a guy several months ago, when we were taking an evening class together. I was too shy to talk to anyone for a while, but then one day he and I found we took the same route home after class. We got talking. I mentioned I'd just had my 25th ...

A.   22 October 2018: A five year gap isn't all that huge, so stop beating yourself up for having sex with an older guy …. forgive yourself. His lying though, that's a whole different kettle of fish … you don't mention it but, unless he was born somewhere other th... (read in full...)

When discussing sexual history, do handjobs count as sex?

Q.   When discussing sexual history should people you didn't have sex with but gave handjobs to count? I know to count oral and vaginal ( I never had anal.) but do handjobs you've given typically go into that count?...

A.   21 October 2018: If there is going to be a wonderful prize won for most sexual contacts then yes, handjobs could be included although really the criteria should be determined and agreed on by the contestants prior to the count beginning. If there is no prize ... (read in full...)

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