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She seems open but what if she is telling me lies?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 November 2018)
A male United States age 36-40, *iket389 writes:

Been single now for about 5 months after a long term relationship, and met someone a few weeks ago that i hit it off with, it happend very randomly and out of the blue. being careful, or at least trying to be ive had my guard up. but it feels right to me.. when we talk its not awkward, weve both been single for a while. Tuesday night we had plans for dinner, but canceled them last minute because she left work early and wasn't feeling well, fine, come to find out a co worker lives on the same road she does and said there was a truck parked in her driveway that night.

we have no set relationship, no guidlines and no boundaries... i didn't come out and ask her if someone was there but i did ask her if she was talking to anyone else besides me. and she said she wasn't... this is difficult for me because although she lied, she doesn't owe me anything. an explanation or anything else as far as im concerned. i don't know what to do from here. i like this girl but don't want to continue if im going to be lied to.. other than coming out and confronting her about the situation, i just don't know of any other way to approach this. other than this she has been very open with me, and the dialogue seems promising. i just don't know where to go from here help!

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A female reader, CherryR07 United Kingdom +, writes (12 November 2018):

You're jumping to conclusions way too fast. Just because there is a truck, doesn't mean she's seeing someone. As HoneyPie suggested, it could be a family member, or maybe just someone parking in her driveway. Also, you don't know for sure whether your co-worker is being honest; maybe they got her house and somebody else's mixed up? Maybe whoever visited in the truck was an unexpected guest? There are a number of reasons. Try not to think negatively, and give it a chance. Ask her out on another date. Take it slow, and go with the flow, and don't jump to conclusions.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 November 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI wouldn't bring up the parked truck, you have no idea what that is about. Could be a neighbor had friends over and asked to use her driveway or she had some family stop by to check on her since she was ill.

So for now... forget about the truck.

Set up another dinner date and then DISCUSS where you are at, if you are exclusive, dating or whatnot. If she doesn't WANT exclusivity after 5 months, and you do.. time to walk away.

And don't involve co-workers in your romantic life. this co-worker might have her OWN agenda, she might have look in the wrong driveway etc. It's really non of her business.

So decide on where YOU would like to take this relationship and have a GROWN UP talk about it with her.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (10 November 2018):

Aunty BimBim agony auntIt might have been a family member or friend visiting, her neighbour might have parked there because no space in his driveway, her ex might have come over to pick up the last of his CDs ….

There is really no way to solve this, if you confront her and tell her your work colleague saw a truck there she may feel you have people spying on her, which is not a nice feeling, and if you don't mention it not knowing will fester away under the surface until it bursts some way down the track.

If you decide to give her the benefit of the doubt it might be a good idea to not discuss the relationship with your colleague, personally the fact they are aware of where she lives and taking note of the vehicles in her driveway after only a few weeks makes me feel uncomfortable.

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