A thank you to your advice!! I am now engaged. You are all the best!! Just a Thank you Post =)
Q. Hi Everyone!! Thanks for your advice. I am engaged and getting married!! I came to your site because I am more of a private person and my mother passed away and don't have a sister. I love my friends but I'm not one to talk about gossip on my rel...
A. 19 September 2017: Its always good to receive some feedback .... but even better when it such a happy upbeat post! As for your engagement
¸.·'?¸.·'?*·~-.¸-(?[CONGTATULATIONS] ?)-,.-~*¸.·'?¸.·'?
... (read in full...)
How do I get him to understand my loneliness?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm just looking for a bit of advice. I am married to my partner who I've known since we were kids. I've been feeling so lonely recently as I feel like I've lost connection with my friends. I work and sit at home waiting for my husba...
A. 19 September 2017: You are still very young, with a probable life expectancy of around 80 years .... which means you are only a quarter of the way through.
Think very carefully about your marriage, does it bring you happiness, does being married to your husband ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont cut ties with her ex!
Q. This might be a bit long. After a few relationships, i decided to try and get together with a girl recommended to me by my friend's girlfriend. I'll call her Agnes. This happened great, especially the first 3/4 months - we had our issues to ir...
A. 18 September 2017: Ask her, if she is serious about stopping his contacting her, ask her why she hasn't blocked him number, or changed hers, or blocked him on social media?
If she is serious about stopping contact she is going about it in a very wishy washy ma... (read in full...)
Why can't I remember him?
Q. The year after I graduated from high school, I had a sexual encounter with a boy I had graduated with and known well. 40 years later we have reconnected...problem is I do not remember the encounter and he remembers every detail right down to what I ...
A. 18 September 2017: I'm also wondering if he has the right girl, especially if you don't even remember having sex with him.
Even if you were blotto on alcohol you would remember some of the circumstances of the evening ... if he insists it was you maybe somebody... (read in full...)
Should I stay .... or maybe I should go
Q. Hi dear Cupid, so I'll break this down in for form.. Myself (24) partner (23) - together three years Before I met him - I saved $13,000. Dating him - started going halves in things cause I thought it was a great idea. In three years - partner ...
A. 17 September 2017: Why do you keep coming back asking the same question over and over ....
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-stay-or-leave-our-relationship-i-think.html
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't speak to me. What did I do wrong?
Q. I'm with my current boyfriend for about 2 years and yest was hia bday. He thinks bdays are overrated, but I still got him gift card and since he didn't want cake, got him a small cake and went to see him. I was hungry by the time I reached his ...
A. 17 September 2017: He didn't want cake so you got him a small one, he wasn't hungry but went to eat with you anyway, he thinks birthday's are over rated but you kept telling him to cheer up because it was his birthday.
Maybe he was pissed as you put it because ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to draw a line under this?
Q. I was dating a guy for almost two years and in March of this year my father got really sick from cancer. He passed away sadly at the end of April. The guy I was with was a complete ass towards me when my father had passed away. And during April I ...
A. 13 September 2017: Firstly, my condolences on the death of your father, it is difficult to lose somebody you love to cancer.
As for your question, no, you are not wrong to ignore him. You owe him nothing. As your mother has previously acted as your emissary... (read in full...)
Angry about my parents divorce.
Q. Long story short, when I was 6 my mom cheated on my Dad with a married man that has 2 kids older than me. Less than a year they both left their spouses for each other. When I grew up my step siblings ignored me like I don't exist. My step dad son ...
A. 11 September 2017: I meant to add, demanding your mother admit she is wrong when she doesn't think she was wrong is just like flogging a dead horse. It is cruel to insist she admit guilt when there is none.... (read in full...)
Angry about my parents divorce.
Q. Long story short, when I was 6 my mom cheated on my Dad with a married man that has 2 kids older than me. Less than a year they both left their spouses for each other. When I grew up my step siblings ignored me like I don't exist. My step dad son ...
A. 11 September 2017: I have long pondered whether I should respond to your question or not. There are so many issues here and its very obvious, at least on your part, a whole lot of hurt.
I have to ask, what is it you are expecting from your mother? For her to break... (read in full...)
Advice please on handling these locals glaring at me!
Q. Hello, this might seem like a silly problem. I am 44 years old and while i can be fiery i have calmed down a lot as i have got older. When i was younger i was very different as a person, fiery and i thought nothing of having casual partners. I ha...
A. 10 September 2017: Small towns are the same the world over.
Try something different, next time you walk into a pub or other public venue and get the glares, give a big wide smile and say "Hi, how are you?"
You don't need to go overboard, but a friendly greetin... (read in full...)
I'm on the verge of having an affair
Q. Dear Cupid, I am about to start an affair, I'm 30 year old woman, in along term relationship. I've been married for so many years and we have 2 children. I have a stable life, extremely loving husband, too loving he doesn't get the concept ...
A. 10 September 2017: Your life is already fast approaching melt down mode .... your children's current secure future is at risk as are you.
Before introducing another person, and the problems he will bring, to the mix your marriage and family are worth at least a ... (read in full...)
She says she will leave him for me, but wont say when!
Q. I need some advice. I know that what I am about to say isn’t the best situation or the moral thing to get involved in, but it just happens. Now i fell in love and I don’t know what to do. There are so many parts to this story and I will try to keep ...
A. 9 September 2017: Oh boy, has she strung you a line, and you've fallen for it, hook, line and sinker.
Yea Gods! You seem to be accepting her excuses for having affairs while married and seem to be excusing her part in that affair which only ended when she and the ... (read in full...)
How can I repair the damage done to our friendship?
Q. Hello folks. Just looking for advice. About 2-3months ago I meet a younger guy. I'm 33 he's 24. We met at work. I was between jobs and looking to earn while I looked for something else so found a part time job where I met, I'll call him Tom. I wo...
A. 9 September 2017: Tom is correct, if you wanted Tom to know you were interested in a relationship with him then YOU should have told him, not some random person he works with. I am going to assume she confronted him at work which would have been unprofessional and ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the other woman and need to break things off but how?
Q. I once met a guy that by just shaking hands with, I forgot my existence, I don't know why or how but before even knowing his name I felt something so strong inside me that made my legs weak. Anyways, I got to know him and you know the rest, I fell ...
A. 8 September 2017: You are a young woman, still learning your way in the world, while he already has established himself with a wife, family, home and a mistress!
Remove your rose tinted glasses and get yourself the hail out of that situation ... don't worry ab... (read in full...)
If he's not doing anything with his ex then why did he get so mad and ignore me?
Q. Hello I would like to get your opinions on this: I've noticed how ironic it has been in the past 6 months how every time my BF's ex is online (Her Facebook shows she is online), he is also showing online but is unavailable to take my calls. I've bee...
A. 8 September 2017: You don't own him. If your boyfriend wants to be awake at all hours "doing something he shouldn't be doing" as you put it, surely, as an adult that's his choice.
If you believe he is chatting with his ex at 4am then address that issue .... ask... (read in full...)
What's with the condoms? Is he lying to me?
Q. Hello, My fiancé and I been together for almost 6 years and about 2 years ago I've found a condom in his jacket pocket and I asked him about it and he told me it was from us from the beginning of us dating. And now I found another condom in his ...
A. 7 September 2017: Not knowing either of you it is hard to say, but why did he transfer a condom from the pocket of a jacket he didn't clean for four years to a wallet .... are they Trojans?
Look for a string of numbers on the wrapping
Example: 06-2013 DA0156GG... (read in full...)
Tempted not to take part in an activity because HE will be there!
Q. My love interest and I have known each for years through a walking group but we have never dated due to a communication breakdown. Recently we have started to become closed again. It could possible go somewhere but he is a cautious as the last few ...
A. 30 August 2017: Thankyou for your update ... are these two different men you met years ago in the same group or two different walking groups? ... (read in full...)
Tempted not to take part in an activity because HE will be there!
Q. My love interest and I have known each for years through a walking group but we have never dated due to a communication breakdown. Recently we have started to become closed again. It could possible go somewhere but he is a cautious as the last few ...
A. 29 August 2017: You have written about this guy several times before:
December 2016
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-fed-up-not-knowing-where-i.html
March 2017
http://www.de... (read in full...)
Why do I feel the need to contact these girls that have baggage?
Q. Hi guys, Basically, I'm finding it hard to develop any deep underlying connections with any girls that I speak to. I'm beginning to think that I'm only ever attracted to ones that come with an insane amount of baggage and it's making me feel a...
A. 28 August 2017: Never had a girlfriend but you have had sex with 23 women. Hate to say it but the fact girl number four's reputation for sleeping around a lot is hurting you nearly made me spill my cuppa. What do you call sleeping with 23 women when none of them ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend dumped me but when I date someone new he wants me back again
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a month but I've been starting to have dreams about my ex who I dated for a year and a half, he was a guy i could never forget but he dumped me but he keeps trying to get back together all the time and when I'm with ...
A. 26 August 2017: Your rotten sod of an ex boyfriend sure has you dangling like a puppet on a string.
He is manipulating you, pulling the strings to make sure you wont be happy with somebody else, even though he dumped you.
I'll let you in on a little secret ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable in supporting my husband financially?
Q. Am I being unreasonable in that my husband is from a different country and I help him out financially. I plan to go back to his country shortly teaching English and we are due to meet in Turkey beforehand to have a holiday. He wants us to be i...
A. 23 August 2017: So let me get this straight ... you work hard to support this free loader, making sure he has new clothes for his holiday and can look pretty for his family ... and when you raise the idea that maybe it would be more prudent financially to change ... (read in full...)
A co-worker made an unkind remark that really hurt me. How do I cope?
Q. I'm feeling very hurt today. At my previous job (as well as life in general) you could say that I'M not the most organized person (not filthy, but more of an issue of putting things back where they belong, avoiding clutter and procrastination,etc. ...
A. 23 August 2017: We all work differently, as long as you are meeting your deadlines and completing work set for you just ignore him .... also ensure if your employers have a clean desk policy (everything cleared off at the end of the day) that you take time to ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned about my erratic behavior?
Q. Should I be concerned about my erratic behavior? A little brief background I am 32 and most of my life I have battled just depression and going to these deep waves of misery. I must admit through therapy and for the first time trying to LISTEN I am ...
A. 22 August 2017: First let me say I am not a qualified professional.
The very fact you are having therapy suggests you want to change the way things are, or at least, understand them.
We attract what we give out, by associating with somebody who is "bad news... (read in full...)
Family problems blighting my future with him
Q. Me and my fiancé have been together for over 2 years now. During his past relationship with his ex' this women had already had a child by someone else. This child was very little when they started dating. During the time they were together he got ...
A. 21 August 2017: Your soon to be mother in law is a very wise lady. Yes, she should be treating your fiancé's ex and her first child as part of the family because TA DAH, they are. The ex is the mother of your future mother in laws grandchild, that's family, and ... (read in full...)
Should I invite my estranged dad?
Q. Hey Guys! I'm engaged and am due to have a small intimate wedding in January. My issue is that I don’t want to invite my dad. My dad and I don't have a relationship whats-so-ever. My mom passed away when I was 1 1/2 and didn't step up to take care ...
A. 18 August 2017: If your other family members say you should invite this stranger (and I suppose his second wife and other children) to your wedding just shut them down, tell them "nope, my wedding, my guest list" and don't enter into discussion.
If they persist ... (read in full...)
Wife won't share "our" car. Is she being unfair?
Q. My wife doesn't work and hasn't for years despite us not having any kids. She quit her last job with my blessings. It was worth it to me just to not have to listen to her complain about it and I make a decent income such that she doesn't have to ...
A. 11 August 2017: Doesn't sound like your wife will be convinced of anything she doesn't want to be convinced of.
So, just take the car, if she complains tell her to get a job and buy her own car.
... (read in full...)
A one time encounter has caused my friend to be standoffish. Do I contact him on his birthday?
Q. Hey all I'm in need of some advice. I crushed on one of my friends for about 3 years, i'm gay and he's bi but not out to many. He had girlfriends for most of that time but one day they were about to split and after a night out we were on our own ...
A. 11 August 2017: Its been two years. I don't know his reasons for not talking with you for the past two years but I'd give contacting him a miss.
... (read in full...)
Is my sister trying to control everything realating to our ageing parents!
Q. Is this my younger sisters way of being in control of things, ie about my ageing parents? Im the oldest Younger bro and sis who have families, I have noone, no family or partner Parents are 70 and 74, active and ok health, live indep...
A. 11 August 2017: Your sister may be trying to take control or she may already have it. If you attempt to talk to your parents about it they might listen or they might decide to brush your concerns aside to maintain the status quo.
The fact your sister is insis... (read in full...)
Married co-worker I'm having an affair with is now ignoring me
Q. Im a married woman who has been having a fling if you call it that with a married co-worker. Now that weve slept together hes been ignoring my texts yet still speaks to me in work like nothing has happened.( a week ago) Im so confused by this. Im ...
A. 10 August 2017: I agree with Code Warrior .... your attitude about sleeping with your boss when you are both still married is fairly casual so ask the man you married, he's a man, and married, so will be able to give you an opinion from that perspective.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about his ongoing involvment with his ex.
Q. Hi, When i met my partner he was still having his ex round his house watching films, going out, and going on holiday, all of this he lied about. We split up a year later and he was trying to find a house near his ex and he contacted her stra...
A. 9 August 2017: What a load of old codswollop!
If you continue to try and have a relationship with this man his ex is also going to be part of it. He has proven himself to be a liar and untrustworthy. Is that really what you want?
My advise is to cut him lo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about his ongoing involvment with his ex.
Q. Hi, When i met my partner he was still having his ex round his house watching films, going out, and going on holiday, all of this he lied about. We split up a year later and he was trying to find a house near his ex and he contacted her stra...
A. 9 August 2017: What a load of old codswollop!
If you continue to try and have a relationship with this man his ex is also going to be part of it. He has proven himself to be a liar and untrustworthy. Is that really what you want?
My advise is to cut him lo... (read in full...)
Savings for our house keep getting taken away by Mum in law
Q. Hi cupids... I'm in a bit of difficulty at the moment and don't know if I'm being selfish...me and my boyfriend live together at his mums at the moment.. we are trying to save to buy a house together.. my boyfriends mum lost her job a few months ...
A. 9 August 2017: I agree with Honeypie, your savings accounts should be kept separate until you are MARRIED.
That being said I do feel the need to query your statement "me and my boyfriend give her £600 a month to help out" and you also say you "pay for electric... (read in full...)
How do I say no to my niece without destroying our relationship?
Q. Great site with good advice. I thank all in advance who help me out here. My neice is an actor...kind of well known and I am looking forward to seeing her when I am in her part of the country at the end of August. I have sent her a few emails a...
A. 7 August 2017: Dear Niece,
While it would be fantastic to be able to help sadly I am not financially secure sufficiently to be able to help in a monetary way. It would be great if you can suggest another way that I could help and support you in your film maki... (read in full...)
Husband's new job takes him away from home.
Q. my husband of two and a half years has accepted a job as a cell phone tower climber and will be starting in two weeks. the job includes full benefits (which is a boost to my salary since we'll be dropping the benefits we have through my employer), ...
A. 5 August 2017: Here in Australia this lifestyle is quite common, mainly in the mining industry, and is usually referred to as FIFO: Fly In Fly Out. I have two nieces whose husbands are currently on longer swings (shifts) working in South America and Egypt.
... (read in full...)
Reconsidering a job offer after this farce
Q. I have recently accepted a 6 month position at a big company. It is quite far away from home (2 and a half hours away), and very kindly the company have offered to put me up in accommodation that they own, for free so i wouldn't have to pay bills ...
A. 4 August 2017: Sometimes it takes just one cog in the wheel to stuff up the whole information chain .....
I am aware my answer is two days after your initial enquiry so I hope the situation has been resolved. However, I think contact them again, ask to speak... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend being friendly with a guy that won't leave her alone?
Q. Hey guys just want to know your veiws on my situation. Right my partner works in a pub at night everytime she goes to work she has this one bloke who wont leave her alone always saying how nice her arse is and that he will get her he has even seen a ...
A. 3 August 2017: Who cares if they are falling for each other, my main concern in your situation would be that she gave him your bank card and pin number .... WTF. Go to the bank, or phone them right now, and cancel that card.
Anybody who gives some random t... (read in full...)
I pushed him away because I wanted him closer to me.
Q. So 3 weeks ago I kind of pushed my boyfriend away and told him I don't wanna be with him but what I was really trying to do is making him understand my mental illness, suffering from GAD and BPD, I tried to tell him maybe through my ery wrong way of ...
A. 1 August 2017: Okay, so you have generalized anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder, and you say can't help feeling that way. I hope you are under some sort of medical plan and taking the advise of professionals. In the meantime your EX boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Was substitute dad trying too hard or did he overstep the mark?
Q. So my ? is Can substitute dad put down ground rules on date night when i am 19 and will not graduate high school until January. My father is no longer living with us-Due to my dads meanness we have never been close. anyways, my step mom is now ...
A. 1 August 2017: Personally I think he is trying to be a good substitute parent in place of his deadbeat brother. He wants to do the right thing by you.
If he is providing you with a car and the fuel to run it, as well as covering insurances and other related ... (read in full...)
What does can,t say Goodbye so i,ll say Goodnight mean ?
Q. My girlfriend and i split up 3 months ago , the last time, and the last thing she said was , can,t say Goodbye so i,ll say Goodnight , Which one is it ? If she was too upset to say Goodbye, and did not want to say Goodbye ,BUT ...
A. 1 August 2017: The woman was being dramatic using those words. The message you need to heed are the words when she said don't text anymore.
Whether she meant to split up or not before you went no contact is immaterial as she is now in a new relation... (read in full...)
I pushed him away because I wanted him closer to me.
Q. So 3 weeks ago I kind of pushed my boyfriend away and told him I don't wanna be with him but what I was really trying to do is making him understand my mental illness, suffering from GAD and BPD, I tried to tell him maybe through my ery wrong way of ...
A. 1 August 2017: You have created this situation yourself by not being clear and honest in what you wanted from your boyfriend.
You told him you didn't want to be with him.
You pushed him away.
You told him you only wanted casual sex.
When he said he didn'... (read in full...)
Is this woman trying to break up our marriage? She claims my husband cheated with her
Q. My husband and i have been married for 8 years with 3 Kids and pregnant at the moment. I have never caught him cheating. But my Brother exgirlfriend told my Brother that she went out my husband and they had sex. Then my husband gave her money. When ...
A. 22 July 2017: It all sounds a bit suspicious, what with losing numbers and changing names .... what did your brother think about her accusations?
I think, unless you have other reason to think your husband has cheated, that you need to accept that he does not... (read in full...)
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