When discussing sexual history, do handjobs count as sex?
Q. When discussing sexual history should people you didn't have sex with but gave handjobs to count? I know to count oral and vaginal ( I never had anal.) but do handjobs you've given typically go into that count?...
A. 21 October 2018: If there is going to be a wonderful prize won for most sexual contacts then yes, handjobs could be included although really the criteria should be determined and agreed on by the contestants prior to the count beginning.
If there is no prize ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is thinking about working with a woman I don't like! What should I do?
Q. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and I love him with all my heart but I have always struggled with trust issues due to my boyfriend's career. He works at a gym a...
A. 15 October 2018: ITS HIS JOB. Do you really believe he should quit or do something he doesn't want to do because he works with a woman you "don't like much". You don't even say what this woman did to earn your "dislike"
I think you are overreacting, and that you... (read in full...)
How do we announce his cancer diagnosis?
Q. My younger brother is 33 years old and moved back in with his parents. Only a few people know that it is because he waa diagnose with brain cancer and he moved back in with our parents to make it easier f or us (family and friends) to help him. ...
A. 14 October 2018: He doesn't need to make a big announcement, if he is on facebook he could send a group private message to all or just some on his contact list. A lot of it would depend on his character and lifestyle, an extrovert might invite all their friends ... (read in full...)
Are my expectations too high for my long distance boyfriend?
Q. Our LDR has been rocky the past few months. He's neglecting abd taking for granted our relationship. Today is my birthday. I spent the entire morning in Urgent Care because I had extremely bad stomach and back pains in the middle of the night, a...
A. 11 October 2018: to continue from my answer below, list everything good about the relationship and everything not so good and then decide if you will continue or break up and find somebody in the flesh and closer to home.... (read in full...)
Are my expectations too high for my long distance boyfriend?
Q. Our LDR has been rocky the past few months. He's neglecting abd taking for granted our relationship. Today is my birthday. I spent the entire morning in Urgent Care because I had extremely bad stomach and back pains in the middle of the night, a...
A. 11 October 2018: I feel it might be a good time for you to seriously consider if this relationship is working.
Sometimes we need to see things in black and white so I'm suggesting a sheet of paper with two columns, at the top of one write "FOR" and label the othe... (read in full...)
My wife's adult children are bums whose lifestyles I pay for.
Q. Hi all, I have a problem. First off, I've been married for over 21 years. We largely get along -- mostly because I don't complain about much. During that time, I have raised my wife's 2 children from her previous marriage. They are cur...
A. 5 October 2018: Split your bank accounts with only you having access to your wages etc.Sit down with your wife, go through the household budget and split most of them 50/50. Tell her if she wants to support her adult children that's up to her, but you are not ... (read in full...)
Best friend forgot my birthday
Q. My best friend from college has been there for me through thick and thin. We’ve been friends for 9 years now. This week she forgot my birthday. She didn’t say anything, send a card or even apologize. I don’t think she has any idea. Last month...
A. 9 September 2018: I'm still embarrassed and mortified about a phone call I got from my second son, some years ago ….. he asked if I had forgotten anything and I said nooooo …. I'm sure I remembered to pay the car registration. So he asked if there was anything else ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a girl who has a boyfriend. Do I drop a hint that I'm single?
Q. I split up with my long term partner because I wasn't sure how I felt and it didn't feel right anymore. I'm in no rush to get into a relationship again but there is a girl who I have an interest in. I think there is a connection between us as I'...
A. 26 August 2018: Move forward towards ………… what?
She might be staring to try and work out why you keep looking at her …. and you "casually" dropping you new status as single and available into the conversation might be just the confirmation she needs that you are ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this married, flirting floozy?
Q. I have a friend and shes always says she love me. Shes married to She once said I love you more then you know what is she trying to say to me. She flurts with me to. I dont know what to do....
A. 19 August 2018: Your question doesn't mention if you are wanting to stop her doing this or if you want to know what she means by saying these things or if you don't know how to take her up on her offer, if that's what it is.
I think you should have a chat wit... (read in full...)
What does he want? Is there something here or just a sexual relationship?
Q. Going back about 4-5 months ago, I met a guy one night out at a bar. We are 5 years age difference, I'm 22 and he's 27. We immediately slept together that night. We kind of clicked quite well and he got my number, stayed in contact with me and we ...
A. 15 July 2018: Sure, I think he likes you, he likes to have sex and to hangout with you, but in my opinion if he was wanting more he would have shown it, either through word or deed, by now.
I don't think the different backgrounds are impacting on this at all, ... (read in full...)
Shall I stop being a gentlemen and be a man?
Q. Just wondering what you guys would think what’s on this girls mind. She is married with 2 kids. She is few years older than me, we work together. She is quiet person, well respected and often hates guys advancing. For example a friend of mine will ...
A. 15 July 2018: Not quite sure what you mean by "be a man" … are you going to grab her by the pussy as Trump put it so eloquently or give her a bit of rough and a jolly good rogering behind the photocopier?
I don't really feel that I can give any sort of decent a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going away on vacation for two weeks!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 months and we have an amazing relationship. In a few weeks he’s going away with his family to his family’s house in Europe for 2 weeks. I know this sounds pathetic, but I’m genuinely upset that he’s ...
A. 11 July 2018: You need to put this in perspective …. two weeks is but a blink of an eye, in the days of sailing ships it would take six weeks from US to Europe and then, if he were lucky enough to catch the mail immediately, another six weeks for a letter to get ... (read in full...)
What would you do in my situation? Travel first or settle down now, travel in retirement?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for a year. I'm pretty happy with this guy. We've had ups and downs, but overall things are good between us. We love each other. We have a holiday booked together and are planning to move in together. Howeve...
A. 10 July 2018: I am only now starting to travel, my knees hurt and my bladder isn't as reliable as it once was …. I also have a bit of a problem with my heart which cant pump enough oxygen into the blood stream when I walk uphill for more than a couple of hundred ... (read in full...)
What do I do when I'm not ready for this to be over and fear that's what will happen if I told him I read that?
Q. Even my boyfriend and I got together, he told me "You can read my diaries, but do not tell me about it." When I asked about it he said it's because he wants to be understood, but he doesn't want anyone to read his deepest thoughts. So, after his ex ...
A. 29 June 2018: How many people, if given permission to read somebody else's thoughts and feelings, would not take the opportunity? It is very odd that he has given you permission to read his diaries but not permission to discuss what you read with him.
This ... (read in full...)
Am I mean to delete all our photos from his phone?
Q. I plan to break up with my boyfriend but I don't want to let him know until I delete all our photos together from his phone. Am I mean to delete all our photos from his phone? I never wanted to take pictures with him in the first place because I ...
A. 26 June 2018: If photos are on HIS phone they are his, to keep, delete or print off and throw darts at if he wishes.
if you are going to break up with him then do it! There is no need for spiteful, nasty, mean, immature behaviour such as you plan.... (read in full...)
How do I make my girlfriend feel special and loved?
Q. Hi guys, Thanks in advance for taking the time to read my post. Basically, my GF of almost one year has told me that she feels more like my best friend than girlfriend. I really need help in fixing things as I care about her a great deal and ...
A. 25 June 2018: Google The Five Languages of Love, maybe you and your girlfriend speak different languages, there is a fun quiz that you could each do that will enlighten the other as to where they are coming from.
... (read in full...)
Anything that bothers me he says its a cultural thing.
Q. Hello I'm married and my husband has all his exes on social media and still speaks to them. I have told him I feel its inappropriate to talk to your exes when their part of his past. He is also addicted to his cell phone. He has many Male fr...
A. 24 June 2018: What are you getting out of this marriage, it certainly doesn't sound like you get respect or that your opinions and concerns are listened to.
You cant change him, but you can change the way you are, you need to decide if your current life is ... (read in full...)
I stole from my brother, how do I repair our relationship?
Q. My youger brother, Justin, is 23 months youger than me. I am 35 years old and he is 33 years old. He have always been a good person (doing charity work, volunteering his time to different charities, est.). When I was in my late teens and early ...
A. 24 June 2018: Stealing is bad, stealing from family is a double whammy because our family members should be able to trust us with anything.
But I assume you know that already. You say your parents have tried to get you to work it out …. that's all well and... (read in full...)
How do I ask for a sex toy?
Q. I want a sex toy because, I'm a 17 year old girl now. I know after I ask I'm going to say, think of it this way, I'm still a virgin. Most people my age aren't anymore. But the problem is, I have to ask my dad. Not a mom. How do I do this? I'm ...
A. 24 June 2018: Owning sex toys is an adult pastime, adults purchase their own sex toys. Asking your father to buy you a sex toy is just yech and ewww.
If you want a sex toy get a job and buy your own.... (read in full...)
I hate my boyfriend’s best friend and don’t want him at my wedding!
Q. I got engaged to my boyfriend and we are currently planning the wedding, making guest lists etc. My partner wishes to invite his best friend to the wedding. The thing is i can’t stand being in the same room as my fiancées best friend as he severely ...
A. 20 June 2018: You need to tell your boyfriend that every time you see his friend the memories of him bullying you all through high school come flooding back, and those are not the memories you want when you are standing in front of the altar getting married. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop obsessing over a taken man?
Q. Has anyone dealt with obsessive love and limerence? I have an issue with being obsessed with my crushes and making up scenarios and fairy tale endings in my head to the point where all I think about is the object of my obsession . To be frank I am ...
A. 19 June 2018: He's taken? Who took him? …
Ohh, you mean a man who CHOSE to marry a woman other than yourself?
If you just change the language you use, substitute married for taken, your mind might register the fact he is not an object that somebody else ma... (read in full...)
Should I bother with this communal garden? I think I’ve attracted a bully!
Q. I live in a block of eight flats. It's a period (Victorian) building, converted into separate dwellings. Surrounding this (kind of in a circle) are five houses. In the middle, is a communal garden. The two flats on the ground floor all have th...
A. 11 June 2018: In your head you can tell her to "go suck aiggs" a quote from a cowboy yarn I read years ago, I find it suits all sorts of situations.
But, you have every right to use, and work in, the garden, you don't need that woman's consent or approval... (read in full...)
I feel I’m being played with! Do I cut off all contact?
Q. My ex and I saw eachother for the first time after 6 months of not speaking at a house party around 2 weeks ago. I was extremely drunk He was telling me how much he missed me and didn’t leave my side the whole night. We even went home together...
A. 11 June 2018: Stop waiting, block his number, from your phone and all social networks, next time you meet him just be distant and polite, don't drink so much that you fall for his crap again, don't go anywhere with him, don't get into any deep and meaningful ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife things are broken even though love is still there?
Q. Hi everyone. I've come to you all for advice before and recieved a mixture of abuse, passive aggression and sexism. I ask you please to respond as if yuo are the shriks you claim to be! Me and my wife have been together 14 years. We have no kids ...
A. 3 June 2018: First up I have never seen any body claiming to be a shrink on this site, if you want a shrink I suggest you put your hand in your pocket and pay for one.
What you get here is a variety of VOLUNTEERS from a variety of countries with a variety ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he wants to get back together eventually
Q. Background story: My boyfriend and I broke up in what initially was in good terms last month. We were together for 7 years, we were fighting too much and became so busy with our own lives that maybe we drifted away. We figured maybe we needed time ...
A. 13 May 2018: No, no second chance, or third chances and no dinner for your birthday. Just no.
He's having fun doing exactly what he wants, with whoever he wants and yet he dangles a carrot in front of you saying he wants to work it out. Eh? Eh? How is not s... (read in full...)
What’s the worst that could happen? He doesn’t want the threesome and I think it’s a bad idea too but I still want it!
Q. Sorry, this is very personal and embarrasing and long so you can stop reading if you’re offended by threesomes or anything taboo. Me and my boyfriend have been together for over two years amd we have lived together since 6 months together and we’r...
A. 4 May 2018: Most of us have regrets of some kind, I too was a young mother, my regret was that I never travelled and saw the world with nothing more than a bag on my back with a sleeping bag dangling from it.
This girl sounds like a predator. She doesn't ... (read in full...)
Am I being irrational for wanting him to show me a picture of his bedroom?
Q. So I have been going out with boyfriend for 9 months, and have been introduced to his parents. His parents are really weird about having people over. They don't like to. So I'v never been inside my boyfriend home. Yesterday we were going to the ...
A. 4 May 2018: I used to have a neighbour who would frequently say "there's nowt queer as folk."
I have to agree with her, people ARE odd. Your boyfriend's family not wanting other people in their home is VERY odd, especially as their son (your boyfrien... (read in full...)
Any advice on dealing with my ex’s odd texts? It’s messing me up!
Q. Was dumped by my boyfriend end of jan. I kept getting texts of him and then they started dwindling , the longest with no text was nearly 2 weeks and he said he loved me and no more taking sleepers with prefabs anyway as he felt horrid. Anyway fast ...
A. 4 May 2018: My guess is that he knows how you feel about him and so he is keeping the lines of communication open and your feelings intact by dangling a carrot .... you have to agree its working.
When he needs you there you will be, still hooked.
My true... (read in full...)
She sounded cold and short, should I ask her if she is married before I ask her for a date?
Q. Dear Cupid I would like your advice, I am a divorced man that tried to make it work with my wife but it didnt work..after so many years we seperated and divorced got finalized last year. I am ready to start dating and I found my first love on ...
A. 2 May 2018: I think the fact she asked why you were messaging her, and that she was cold and short suggests that she isn't open to having conversations with you, let alone a date.
She's not interested, and I suggest you move on by.
... (read in full...)
Should I report a teacher for teaching 7 year olds about sex?
Q. 3 days ago my 7 year old daughter came to my house asking me about why guys can only wear condoms, she was too curious to know more about sex and the male genital. I was shocked how she knew the word condom, from who and why she is asking me this ...
A. 2 May 2018: I've got grandchildren. I was raised in a fairly typical post war rural environment .... everything was taboo. My mother told me to never let anybody touch me "there" so when a friend of the family did I never told anybody because I thought it was ... (read in full...)
Should I trust her on birth control?
Q. I'm 32 years old, dating my 22 old girlfriend for 3 months and days ago we had sex without condom and it was amazing, I almost forgot how good it feels lol, last time I had unprotected sex was with my ex wife who I divorced three years ago. Since ...
A. 27 April 2018: The only person you can trust when it comes to birth control is yourself, and even that isn't foolproof. The only 100% guaranteed birth control is abstinence.
... (read in full...)
Married man damaging my reputation.
Q. Previous Post: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-out-of-this-relationship-with-a.html About a month ago I ended an affair with a married man that I was having. We texted and called daily and we slept together on the weekend but I told it ...
A. 27 April 2018: The fact he treated his wife (and child/children) with such little respect is a HUGE warning sign, horrible nasty man who couldn't get what he wanted so he threw a big tantrum damaging everybody who loves him in the process.
You need to start lo... (read in full...)
He earns three times more but wants to split the bills 50/50
Q. my boyfriend has recently asked me to move in with him. we had a conversation about our finances and his expectation of what i should contribute to the household expenses. He wants to split everything 50/50. We got into an argument over this because ...
A. 26 April 2018: If he has a mortgage rather than paying rent carefully consider all ramifications of your moving in.
The first you have already realised, you will be no better off financially.
The second to consider is what happens if you break up, you wi... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the other woman but love him too much to let go.
Q. I have been seeing A married guy for nearly 8 months. He spending every free moment with me we do things we go away sometimes, we talk on the phone multiple times a day every single day. He has been great fI me, He’s caring, attentive, Generous ...
A. 24 April 2018: The man is a liar, a cheat and a thief, he steals precious family time from his wife and family and gives it to you ....
You state you know this is a dead end relationship ... and then, to excuse the fact you are in it, claim confusion.
Face it... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he liked my skinnier self and now I'm very hurt.
Q. I need help. Just had a big fight with my boyfriend of 5 years. We are in a hotel room travelling to Memphis and we were enjoying a week long road trip. I've put on some weight since we met. But then so has he. He had once told me he would...
A. 24 April 2018: Why, oh why oh why. Why ask such a loaded question, without first priming him for the correct answer.
Lets say he answered he liked your curvy now you better and you lost the weight again in a few months ... and you asked the same question... (read in full...)
My friend is upset none of us can afford to go to his wedding
Q. An old friend who moved from Berlin where I live to San Diego is getting married. 5 years ago we were great friends and housemates. As time went on, I recognized we are very different and have different value systems. His dream is to find a partner ...
A. 23 April 2018: Send a gift, and a card wishing him all the very best for his wedding with an expression of welcome to visit any time he and his wife are in your country.
Circumstances change, this is a fact of life, its a shame he couldn't see any value in havin... (read in full...)
What should a person do .....
Q. What should a person do if they are falling for someone, and that person tells them they have a certain type a woman they like, and it's not you, and they don't have time but maybe one day a week, they are to busy to see you more then that, you live ...
A. 22 April 2018: What you need to do is accept that your feelings are not reciprocated, and it wouldn't matter how far apart you are, a few miles or a few houses apart, he is not interested in a relationship with you.
You are not his type, and complaining about ho... (read in full...)
Why did he have makeup smeared around his lips?
Q. My husband is the most loving loyal husband, we never argue at all and we get along amazing, we are both just so madly in love, he’s always been very affectionate and he really is amazing in every way. However he went on a works meal yesterday a...
A. 22 April 2018: Where was good friend Sue and the mysterious stranger when he was found roaming the streets and completely out of it?
When you say first aid was called was that an ambulance or just a club staff member with a first aid box?
Maybe tattoo ... (read in full...)
Why did he have makeup smeared around his lips?
Q. My husband is the most loving loyal husband, we never argue at all and we get along amazing, we are both just so madly in love, he’s always been very affectionate and he really is amazing in every way. However he went on a works meal yesterday a...
A. 22 April 2018: I am a cynic, and Australian law courts and Government are based on those of the UK .... here in Australia if somebody passed out in a club it would be prudent for the club to call for an ambulance, even if it was caused by over indulgence of ... (read in full...)
He’s been dragging his feet on getting a passport and my anxiety problems have caused a rift! What now?
Q. So me and my boyfriend got into a big fight. Weve had a difficult time for the past 6 months of our relationship (we've been together nearly 2 years) due to my anxiety problems..We argued very frequently, and I developed a phobia that he was going ...
A. 22 April 2018: Four days? If I had an argument and didn't contact the other, or have contact from, I would assume the relationship was teetering on the brink of oblivion.
And, because I am the champion assumer, I would also assume it was because he decided ... (read in full...)
A guy I was seeing went quiet on me, he says he is following legal advise.
Q. Im just wondering what are peoples thoughts. I was seeing a guy who went quiet on me we had been seeing each other for 6 month. i heard from him a handful of times in 2 month and didnt get to see him . I didnt sit about waiting for him i got on with ...
A. 19 April 2018: Sounds weird, the only way I can see people being requested to stay off social media is if they are using it for illegal purposes, such as harassing or stalking others.
For some reason your letter reminds me of a guy who used to go around claiming... (read in full...)
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