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... Send *rtistry a private message | | | *rtistry's profile:I am a people person, I love to help people when I can. I am always being asked for my opinion on any number of things.
I live on the East coast.
What makes me tick is my insatiable curiousity and my eagerness to learn new things and meet new people.
I am currently happily single, and not looking. I like to make new friends.
I love nature and art, and the colors of fall and the ocean,
and the sound of silence. I have a passion for writing. |
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How do I make myself realize that nothing will ever happen between me and this girl of my dreams?
Q. I love her, I go to class with her, work with her, and also hang out with her at least 4 days out of a week. But I don't think she reciprocates the feelings. The problem is that whenever I talk to her or look into her eyes, all rational thought is c...
A. 28 April 2008: Hi, The best thing you could probably do for yourself, is to wean yourself away from her. You need to be missed, first of all, she will never realize if she cares for you or not, as long as she sees you almost all of the time, and you basically ... (read in full...)
Why does he never want a lift home from me? Could this mean something?
Q. ok so ive been with my bf for about 2 years now and we both started uni this year. he doesnt have his lisence so he catches the bus everyday there and back. when i finish the same time as him i offer him lifts home aswell as his mates if they r w...
A. 28 April 2008: Hi, Two years is a long time to be together, and you should have sme idea of how he really feels about you by now. It may be that he doesn't want the ride from you, because it makes him uncomfortable that he cannot drive you around. I would not ... (read in full...)
The more we are together, the more I doubt we will ever be close, emotionally. Please assist.
Q. Dear All I am in a relationship that is turning a year, but I feel like we have not at all grown closely. I always feel like our relationship has not developed emotionally but time really flies. I oo not get the emotional boost I hope for. I need...
A. 21 April 2008: Hi, I really think you have answered your own questions. You are not receiving, what you need from this relationship, to put it bluntly. You both may care a lot for each other, but as someone said, sometimes love is not enough. You are talkative, ... (read in full...)
It is horrible feeling like your happiness depends on someone else. How do I change this?
Q. My self opinion is based on what other people think of me, and so if i dont have a bf I feel like i am worthless and not loveable. I hate feeling like this. It is horrible feeling like your happiness depends on someone else. How do i change this? I...
A. 18 April 2008: Hi, Let's hope we can get you to realize that you are all you have, even twins are two separate individuals. You are born into this world as a special individual, you have your own gifts. You may not even know what those gifts are, but in time they ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets upset is a man calls me but then again I react in the same manner when he contacts the ex. Any guidance?
Q. How can I get over that my boyfriend of a year still keeps in contact with his ex girlfriend from time to time? and he gets all upset if a man says or tries to call me to see how i am doing so I am confused about how to react to him. He reacts the ...
A. 17 April 2008: Hey there,
You have been together for a year, how long were the two of you in your previous relationships? If the two of you were in love with you ex's and you bonded, with those individuals,it will take some time to get those people and those feel... (read in full...)
Is this older guy a waste of my time?
Q. ok so i sort of started seeing this older guy. i guess i am wondering how to get his attention better? he does work and is busy but, i rarely hear from him by phone mainly text and internet chat. he does say he cares for me but, i will only see him ...
A. 17 April 2008: Hi, First of all, I am wondering,if you have made sure, that this gentleman, is completely available. How you go about that would be questionable, but one way would be to ask him, is there anyone else who is involved in his life? A man who is only ... (read in full...)
He doesn't like me in his 'face space', and says it's too personal.
Q. He likes for me to give him oral sex, but he doesn't really like kissing me, before or after, he doesn't like me in his face space. Does he not want to be that close to me, he says it's too personal, but isn't oral sex pretty personal?...
A. 14 April 2008: Hi there,
Let's take a look at the situation, you say, he says he wants his "face space". Fair enough, but you are giving him your "face space", so to speak :o). Why does he not want to please you, as he is being pleased, in some way? If you want... (read in full...)
I didn't ask for this... Advice would be welcomed.
Q. I have been married to a man who is really my best friend, a great and selfless lover and funny... I knew he was a smart choice and has been an amazing father and devoted for many years. As kind of free thinkers we pride ourselves in trying t...
A. 9 April 2008: Hi, When we marry someone, we do it with the intent of being a loving, caring, comforting and faithful person to that individual. We try very hard to keep our emotions in check. But it is a daily thing, we have to decide, even if we love someone, ... (read in full...)
Do all men stay bitter?
Q. Do men ever get over their past relationships ?..I am in my early forties. Divorced and have 3 kids. Was married for 14 yrs. My marriage was awful, I got out and moved on. Have been divorced now for 4 yrs. Why does it seem like men in my age group ...
A. 3 April 2008: Hi, The first thing I'd like to say, is that it is great that you were mature enough, to know that your relationship had to end for the good of both of you, and the children. You didn't sit there moaning and groaning and having the relationship get ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Over half a million visitors in March!
Q. I'm pleased to say that according to Google Analytics, March 08 was the busiest month ever for Dear Cupid! We had 519,747 unique visitors (i.e. people!) visit the site from 1st March 08 to 31st March 08 inclusive. Over HALF A MILLION people.... ...
A. 3 April 2008: Andrew,
Quite amazing, but not a surprise, this is a wonderful place for people to share, others to help with their
problems, large and small. Great job, thanks for the opportunity to assist. I enjoy this site very much. take care. 1,000,00... (read in full...)
Our long-distance relationship has been hampered by constant fighting-but we want to get married when he comes back. Will it work for us?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 years and 5 months now, and in that we have spent more than 2 years in long distance but he is coming back to the US soon now and we have decided to move in together and get married in a couple ...
A. 29 March 2008: Hi, You two were together for a long time, before you were separated by distance. It appears that you two are very close, you talk all the time, you are connected, this is good. The fighting has been recently and that could be due to the distance ... (read in full...)
He is interested in me physically but not in any other way, what do you think?
Q. I'm having a bit of a crisis of conscience. There's a guy who I've known for a good few years who I've recently developed a bit of a thing for. He has on numerous occasions let me know that he would be interested in me physically but not necessarily ...
A. 16 March 2008: Hi, It is sometimes refreshing, for someone to be very direct and honest with a person, especially a male telling a female, what this person told you. He is not playing any game, he is saying this is what I want, no more. No relationship, no commi... (read in full...)
He tells me he "Can't fall in love again". Is there anything I can do?
Q. My boyfriend has told me he "can't fall in love again" because he has convinced himself that if he does he will get hurt. He found his fiances dead 2 weeks before the marriage and then 2 years later he married a girl 10 years younger (18). After 12 ...
A. 6 March 2008: Hi, You are in a relationship which is a difficult one, but this is the question I would have, are you able to take it, if you fall in love with him and he still harbors the idea, which is very strong, because of his past experiences,
that he does... (read in full...)
Does it make sense to a long-distance relationship, given that we have much in common?
Q. Is there ever any sense to starting (or trying to start) a relationship across long distance? We're both late 20s with insanely busy careers - neither has much free time at all, although he prob has even less than I do. Met abt a month ago when f...
A. 3 March 2008: There is a saying, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You have met him face to face, he wanted to meet you first, as I understand it. The two of you like each other, there is a bit of chemistry. You had a date, you both appear to have feelings for ... (read in full...)
How do I get the balance right so I don't scare her off??
Q. OK, I started seeing this girl who lives near me back in November. I am 34 and she is 26. Up until Christmas, things were great. We got on so well, we clicked and there was an obvious attraction for both of us. Things couldn't have been better a...
A. 1 March 2008: Hi,
My thought is, that you have revealed too much to her too quickly. Once that was done, and she knew basically where you stood, as far as the affection you had for her, she seems to be taking advantage of you. You are going to have to take cont... (read in full...)
I want to be free of my ex. Did he ever even love me?
Q. Hello All, I broke up with my child's father around 1 year ago. He has moved on with several women, but still remains contact with me. I still see him as a user, but mainly just a guy who will never accomplish anything in life. But the sad thin...
A. 28 February 2008: Hi again,
How nice to have you show your appreciation. I do try, as best I can to help, remember the figurative box, find it as soon as you can and put it out of your life. You have the strength deep within, reach for it and hold on to your desi... (read in full...)
I want to be free of my ex. Did he ever even love me?
Q. Hello All, I broke up with my child's father around 1 year ago. He has moved on with several women, but still remains contact with me. I still see him as a user, but mainly just a guy who will never accomplish anything in life. But the sad thin...
A. 27 February 2008: Hi, My thought is that one year is not a lot of time to be free of the emotions that tie people to other people. Especially if you lived with that person or even if you did not live with him, but conceived and bore a child with him. Emotions ar... (read in full...)
No reply from my affair since Valentine's, why?
Q. hi all ive been with my husband for 13 years we have children.the past year has been real tough for us as i asked for a seperation because i felt we had drifted apart. within this time while going out with friends i met a younger man than me 6 years ...
A. 23 February 2008: Hi there, Relationships require two people, even relationships by e-mail or otherwise. If you had a very responsive person, as it appears you did, then either he decided he wanted something more, or he made the decision to end the relation... (read in full...)
I'm still living with him but he's told me he doesn't love me anymore. How do I leave him and move on with my life?
Q. Time with friends, not with me. Now we break-up but we still living together because he cares about me and I can't leave him cuz I love him so much and that's the reason I'm still living in the same house. But it hurt me a lot because all the time ...
A. 23 February 2008: Hi, Things in life are not always going to go as we would like them to, especially in the case of love and emotional attachment. Think about the situation, he has admitted he doesn't love you anymore. But he wants you to stay with him, relation... (read in full...)
I want to propose to her but...
Q. hey, I need some advice from you guys. I think I am in love with this new girl at my work place. Initially when she came, I did not like her because I felt she was a braggish fellow but she proved me wrong, when surprisingly she engaged me in a ...
A. 21 February 2008: Hi there, One thing that I would suggest, is that you take a little time with this.
You are enamored with the lady, sort of like a crush,
which is fine, but you want to find out a few things about her, and let her discover a few things about yo... (read in full...)
Would me and my boyfriend be related if his Mom marries my cousin?
Q. Would me and my boyfriend have any relation if his mom marries my second cousin?...
A. 18 February 2008: Hi, I am not an expert, but it would seem you would only be distant relatives by marriage, not by blood, so there is no reason to worry about the connection at all. You'll both just be invited to the same family dinners. ... (read in full...)
Do I still love him or not?
Q. dear cupid i dont know what to do i have been with my husband for nearly three years and we have a daughter together who is three mths.i also have another daughter who is five but her dad was someone else i used to be married too. The problem is my ...
A. 13 February 2008: Hi there, Take a moment, sit down, pour yourself a cup of tea or coffee or whatever will help to sooth your nerves. You are always concerned about everybody else and you need to be a little kinder to yourself. Your little one needs you, your old... (read in full...)
How do you get rid of stress?
Q. I'm 18 and I get stressed really easily. Can you please suggest ways to get rid of stress....
A. 13 February 2008: Hi, Meditation and yoga could help you. Also, run a tub full of the warmest water you can stand, sit in it for as long as you can, then just before you get out of the tub, take the plug out, but stay there and let the warm water go out of the... (read in full...)
We are "happy" but he talks to new females, then sleeps with them! Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend has cheated over ten times in our home and outside our house. It's always sex and talking on the phone he says he loves me everyone says it's true, you can tell he loves you more then anything but nobody can explain or undersand why he ...
A. 12 February 2008: Hi,
Think about this, if we all had evidence that our boyfriend was a cheater after four years of being together, and not one time but constantly, do you think we would consider staying with that person? You are not a door mat.
Something triggere... (read in full...)
Anyone got any help or advice for my sister?
Q. Help! My younger sister has been involved with a guy for about 5 years now who constantly puts her down (rude comments about where she lives, her taste in books etc etc). What really concerns me is that she seems unable to let go of him. She ...
A. 10 February 2008: Hi, I do feel sorry for your sister and for you because you want the best for her. These type of men love to manipulate and control, it's a game with them. First they let you think they care until you trust them, slowly the abuse starts, until th... (read in full...)
Should I go on and graduate or drop out??
Q. Just wondering here, it's not a relationship question, but one I hope you can help me with anyways. I just found out I failed 3 of my courses for the 12th grade and will have to go back again next year in order to graduate. The big problem is I'm i...
A. 8 February 2008: Hi, I would expect that the Miltary would want you to complete High School, as this is a basic first commitment. Graduating is somewhat like a transition to adulthood, it shows that you can fulfill and complete a commitment. It is very satisfying to ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my wife's affair, we are seperated but have a little girl
Q. I have been married for 2 and a half years. My wife left me 2 months before our second anivarsary. It was for various reasons and there was fault on both sides. I realize this now after several months of counselling. After 4 months we managed to ...
A. 7 February 2008: Hi, I have not been there but from reading your question, what I feel from your words, is that you love your wife but you have been terribly hurt in this relationship.
I would say that you shouldtake her at her word, try to put her actions behi... (read in full...)
He abuses me emotionally, But I can't leave him!
Q. Please help me. I'm desperate. I am so in love with my bf, I mean I have never been in love like I am now, but things have happened, I should leave him. Things have turned so nasty between us, but I am so in love, I can't actually tell the diff...
A. 31 January 2008: Hi, It is very important that we love and respect ourselves, you have to try to be your own best friend.
If you stay with this person, you will most certainly lose your sense of self-esteem. This very dangerous, as you will begin to think you dese... (read in full...)
In a relationship for two years, still happy with him... But there's somebody else. I don't know which one I want. How can I decide?
Q. I'm in a 2 year relationship with a lovely guy. He's caring and we have a lot in common in terms of our principles,and I would have always said that we loved each other and saw our future together. We have complete trust which I know is really ...
A. 25 January 2008: Hi,If you really love your boyfriend, and are satisfied with the relationship, you will try to understand yourself. Are you extremely flattered by the new guy or is there a stronger feeling for him? Stronger than the love you hsve for your ... (read in full...)
He just disappeared...am I being played?
Q. The situation is this,the man i've been with for awhile now just disappeared on me. it's been a month since i've seen him and when i called him to see what the problem was why i haven't seen him in awhile all he could say was that he had been ...
A. 25 January 2008: Hi, A relationship is built upon the willingness of two people wanting to be together. There cannot be any forcing of the issue, as someone said somewhere, love just is. Your guy seems to have some issues he is dealing with. Give him the time to ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong or is it the thought that counts??
Q. My girlfriend of over2years didn't buy me a birthday card last week. She wanted to but didnt - for lack of money. Next week she went and spent her money on socialising. I would have apreciated a hand written bit of paper. It's 'the though...
A. 24 January 2008: Hi there,
You can find free e-cards on the internet, so I want
to ask, what is the thought? Are you sure there is not some underlining hostility here, or is this the way she normally behaves? What's up? This is a minor infraction, but I would re... (read in full...)
I'm almost 6 months pregnant, married only a year and a half and my husband is leaving me, I don't know what to do, help?
Q. Hello everyone, My name is Caroline, I'm totally new on this. I only really came across it a few days ago through looking on the internet for answers I guess. My situation is awful, I'm 34, we got married in July 2006, bought our house together i...
A. 24 January 2008: Hi dear, You are going to have to decide if you will be happy with what you have in him or not. Am I to understand
that his Mother said, there may be a new lady friend at the party, he is to attend? Why would you keep this up with him and his Moth... (read in full...)
I'm almost 6 months pregnant, married only a year and a half and my husband is leaving me, I don't know what to do, help?
Q. Hello everyone, My name is Caroline, I'm totally new on this. I only really came across it a few days ago through looking on the internet for answers I guess. My situation is awful, I'm 34, we got married in July 2006, bought our house together i...
A. 24 January 2008: My dear, You married, I'm sorry to say, a grown-up child, who only loves himself. The reason he would argue is because he wanted to leave and did not know how. Love yourself and let this man go on his way, he is only going
to give you grief if you ... (read in full...)
Delayed answers, single sentenced. Anything I can do to raise his interest or should I write this off?
Q. I met a guy through a writing group and I immediately liked him. He was friendly with all the girls in my group, so I found it hard to tell if he would ever consider me as more than a friend. When we first met he would email me nearly constantl...
A. 23 January 2008: I would not send him anymore e-mails. The responses you have received, with little or less said, are an indication that he is involved in other activities or is just not interested in communicating at the monent. I don't think you need additional ... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with telling her what I want in the relationship that I'm not getting? or is this a sign that we should end this?
Q. Okay, so I'm still with the same girl I have been ever since I started posting on here. Distance relationship. About 9 1/2 months in. Right now she is studying abroad in England and things have just gotten really tough. I think it's probably good in ...
A. 22 January 2008: Hi, What you wrote was " I want her to not have to be told". That to me is the crux of the matter. Sometimes,
we want people we love, to be as responsive to us, as we are to them. But we all give love in different ways. If you are not sati... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 yrs was e-mailing other girls online, is that considered cheating?
Q. I recently found out that my boyfriend of 4 yrs was e mailing other girls online behind my back. I confronted him about this and he apologized, saying that he doesnt know what he was doing and it was a mistake. He says he never met any of these ...
A. 22 January 2008: Hi, Why not slow it down for a little while. These were real people he was talking to. Seems as if he is either curious as to who else is out there or just looking for conversation. Whatever it is, I would have a heart to heart talk, not to accuse ... (read in full...)
Marriage problem - midlife crisis or age difference?
Q. Hi I have been with the same (only) woman for nearly 30 years - she is older than me and has children from her first marriage. I love her very dearly, but aargh! I'm experiencing a real sense of restlessness - looking at other women, wanting t...
A. 22 January 2008: Stop a moment, do you really believe that the grass is greener on the other side. How has it been going for most of the thirty years you both have been together? Sounds like pretty well, until recently. So now you have the heebee jeebies and want to ... (read in full...)
We have hurt each other very much and now she has left. I love her though...advice?
Q. Help, my wife has left me! We have hurt each other very much and now she has left. I love her very much and I know she loves me, but the pain is to big at this point. We have children and I also don't want them to hurt. I am feeling depressed and I ...
A. 22 January 2008: It sounds to me that a lot of healing is needed by both of you. First, both of you need to forgive, you cannot forget, but you can put it behind you and time will heal the wounds. You both must talk to each other, not at each other. If you want to ... (read in full...)
Is he looking for a polite way to leave me?
Q. hi. I have been dating the most amazing man I have ever met for five months. He is very sincere and upfront about his thoughts and feelings. He has told me he loves me, that he couldn't see himself with anybody else ever, that I can trust him and so ...
A. 20 January 2008: Hi there, please don't feel as if your moods are the reason, if he is thinking of leaving the relationship.
I think if someone truly loves you, they will support you and care for you. If you have things in common and you are communicating with each... (read in full...)
What would be the best thing for me to do?
Q. I am married but seperated for the past 8 years.Single Parent with a high profile job. Have had a serious relationship and broke off about 4 years back. I am choosy when it comes to dating and getting involved. Recently I started liking a colleagu...
A. 20 January 2008: Hi, I read a lot between the lines of what you write. How much emotional support does he give you? Who will be the first people who claim his time, his legal wife and children. What has he told you, he is not ready to leave his wife, do you really ... (read in full...)
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