A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is there ever any sense to starting (or trying to start) a relationship across long distance?We're both late 20s with insanely busy careers - neither has much free time at all, although he prob has even less than I do. Met abt a month ago when friends introduced us (at his request, after hearing abt me and seeing some pics). Turns out we hit it off; had our first 'real' date a couple weeks ago (he drove down for the weekend).Thing is, we live in different cities - 2 hrs by train, 3 by car. He's pretty much stuck where he is for the next 5 or 6 yrs (job), although in theory I could move in a year or so.I really like this guy and see some real potential. We have really similar backgrounds, and I think there's good chemistry and shared values, based on what I know so far. But the long distance - is this just a non-starter? Should I even bother? I'm pretty naturally risk averse when it comes to dating, and generally have a hard time being vulnerable. If I see where this goes and let myself get my hopes up abt this boy, am I just setting myself up?
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female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 There is a saying, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You have met him face to face, he wanted to meet you first, as I understand it. The two of you like each other, there is a bit of chemistry. You had a date, you both appear to have feelings for the other, which could very well grow. Life is about taking some chances. Why not go with the flow? Two hours is not a lot of time to travel, if, when you reach your destination, you are excited and happy to see the object of your affection. I have a friend who was involved with a gentleman, who lived in New York, while she lived in Pennsylvania, they saw each other continually until they eventually married, they are still married to this day, as far as I know. If the feelings are real and they grow, it is a good thing, take the chance. Many successful relationships have been conducted from a distance, on the other side of that, is the fact that many people living very close to each other, don't wind up together after a period of time. It all depends on the two people and how
much they care about each other. Do you like him enough to give the relationship a chance? You have to make that choice, there are no guarantees, but it may well be worth the time and effort. Good luck to you in all you do. Take care. Be happy.
A
female
reader, jaq  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 its possible it will work if you really want it to iv been with a guy 3yrs long distance i only saw him weekends. were still together. distance makes the heart grow fonder
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008): hi there! I think its worth while having a go. First of all as you said theres a chance that you might move in a year or so, one year is not so bad. The important thing is to have enough "dates" now, try to really get to know each other, have every other or one weekend a month together. If your both soo busy the year will fly by and then you can both plan some sort of a future together. It is also really really important to start discussing where this relationship is possibly heading, maybe not yet, but maybe closer to the time when you will be able to move to his city. i think planning is crucial in ldrs, try to plan at least one holiday together. Anyways hope this helps. Don't throw your chances away, you might regret it later on!!kaye
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