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... Send *rtistry a private message | | | *rtistry's profile:I am a people person, I love to help people when I can. I am always being asked for my opinion on any number of things.
I live on the East coast.
What makes me tick is my insatiable curiousity and my eagerness to learn new things and meet new people.
I am currently happily single, and not looking. I like to make new friends.
I love nature and art, and the colors of fall and the ocean,
and the sound of silence. I have a passion for writing. |
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Involved with much younger sister in law and now we broke up, should I try to get her back?
Q. I posted my problem on here last year and got really lambasted. I was having a clandestine relationship with my step-sister and she was 25 years younger than I. She is 18, I am 43. Our parents are not actually married but obviously, our links to the ...
A. 11 March 2011: ...Hi, Nice to hear from you, sorry for the time span. Try to help her but at a distance. She really needs the space but if you can't bring yourself to do what you think will hurt her, then it will have to pan out on its own. One of you, more than ... (read in full...)
Involved with much younger sister in law and now we broke up, should I try to get her back?
Q. I posted my problem on here last year and got really lambasted. I was having a clandestine relationship with my step-sister and she was 25 years younger than I. She is 18, I am 43. Our parents are not actually married but obviously, our links to the ...
A. 5 March 2011: ..Hi You should be proud of yourself. This pain will be hard but in time it will pass. Try to involve yourself in something that will take your mind off of the relationship. You have made a good step forward, keep moving. To my thinking this is ... (read in full...)
Involved with much younger sister in law and now we broke up, should I try to get her back?
Q. I posted my problem on here last year and got really lambasted. I was having a clandestine relationship with my step-sister and she was 25 years younger than I. She is 18, I am 43. Our parents are not actually married but obviously, our links to the ...
A. 26 February 2011: ...Hi there, try to keep your wits about you and treat her as a very good friend. Let her know that you are there to help her when she needs you but you want her to try to grow. If that could happen and later on you two reconnect the relationship ... (read in full...)
Involved with much younger sister in law and now we broke up, should I try to get her back?
Q. I posted my problem on here last year and got really lambasted. I was having a clandestine relationship with my step-sister and she was 25 years younger than I. She is 18, I am 43. Our parents are not actually married but obviously, our links to the ...
A. 26 February 2011: ...Hi there, try to keep your wits about you and treat her as a very good friend. Let her know that you are there to help her when she needs you but you want her to try to grow. If that could happen and later on you two reconnect the relationship ... (read in full...)
Involved with much younger sister in law and now we broke up, should I try to get her back?
Q. I posted my problem on here last year and got really lambasted. I was having a clandestine relationship with my step-sister and she was 25 years younger than I. She is 18, I am 43. Our parents are not actually married but obviously, our links to the ...
A. 22 February 2011: ...Hi there again, It seems your affection for her is wearing off and she appears to want to spread her wings. This is where the age difference comes into play. She needs more experience. You are not getting your emotionbal needs met? Since you have ... (read in full...)
Is it right for me to forgive him and take it to myself that I become his mistress forever for the sake of our son?
Q. i have 3yrs. live-in partner but he is married in his first wife. he make me believe that they are no longer connected to each other. We have 1 son now and for 3yrs. i believe in all his dreams and promises for us. but now i found out that he fooled ...
A. 10 June 2010: ...Hi dear, I agree with everything sweetbabes said to you. You love this person, but are you willing to wait 10, 20 years for him to decide to come to you completely? You will be wasting your time and your life. Your decision! Your life. As I think ... (read in full...)
Is it right for me to forgive him and take it to myself that I become his mistress forever for the sake of our son?
Q. i have 3yrs. live-in partner but he is married in his first wife. he make me believe that they are no longer connected to each other. We have 1 son now and for 3yrs. i believe in all his dreams and promises for us. but now i found out that he fooled ...
A. 22 May 2010: Hi there, You have a child with this man so you must consider the child's future more than anything else. There will more than likely not be a future for the two of you because the child's father wants to have it both ways, be with both of you. You ... (read in full...)
My emotionally unstable ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, how do I say no without crushing her?
Q. Okay, so, I ended a long distance relationship that I had with a girl the next state over from me, we were together for 3-months, I ended it in February. I ended it for a number of reasons, the main one being that I couldn't cope with the distanc...
A. 22 April 2010: ...Hi there, Be honest, let her know you have outgrown the relationship, and you do not care for her as you did before. You are also not able to give her what she needs and the two of you have to go your separate ways. Let her tell you she won't ... (read in full...)
Trying to find the root of my depression
Q. HI all I feel that I need some serous advice. Yes I am the same Myau, kicking everyone else up the behind. I have answered goodness knows how many posts under my 3 names: notsogreat, Ingwe and Myau. But I do this in truth because I am suffe...
A. 11 April 2010: ...Hi there, Well I'll say one thing for sure, if you are
surviving without working, then you are doing very well indeed. First of all, your story could belong to many people, especially now. You should think about becoming an
entre... (read in full...)
Involved with much younger sister in law and now we broke up, should I try to get her back?
Q. I posted my problem on here last year and got really lambasted. I was having a clandestine relationship with my step-sister and she was 25 years younger than I. She is 18, I am 43. Our parents are not actually married but obviously, our links to the ...
A. 6 April 2010: ..Hi there, You have had the experience and taken a lot of heat for it I am sure. Why go back for more headaches? You are supposed to know more than she does, because of your age and experience. Let her find a less complicated relationship. Move on, ... (read in full...)
Did I cheat? Am I obligated to tell my wife what happened?
Q. One night in the first year my wife and I were together we got into a huge fight and we broke up. we wernt married yet. She left my house and went home and at the time I was completely devastated. I went out to an all night grocery store where ...
A. 1 April 2010: ..Hi there, How do you cheat on someone who you said you had broken up with? For the moment there was no relationship, so you didn't cheat on her. Let it be. Do not tell her anything. If you feel guilty, find a priest and confess. It was an ... (read in full...)
Attracted to a colleague who has suddenly turned cold
Q. im sitting here needing advice-this is so sad. i met a guy at my job two months ago-i cant explain it but we clicked and get along so well-we have coffee breaks etc-he says he likes working with me too and we had a coffee out once and i sent a t...
A. 30 December 2009: Hi there, Being in the middle of a divorce is enough it seems for him to handle at the moment. Too much involvement, I think he is telling you without words, is not what he wants or needs right now. If you press the issue, you will probsbly lose any ... (read in full...)
How do I stop putting people on pedestals and have more realistic expectations?
Q. I often put people up on pedestals and have expectations about how they should behave. Then when they don't live up to my expectations, I'm disappointed. I know it's their life and we're all human, make mistakes, etc. But how can I stop doing this? ...
A. 6 November 2009: Hi there, You can have high expectations of people, but it's very important that you realize that people have to experience life and make choices for themselves that may not be the choices that you might make for yourself. You should try to allow ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be in this relationship any longer, what should I do?
Q. What should i do? I have been in a relationship for 3 years and out of the 3 most of it has been arguments over me cheating. I have not cheated and stayed true through out the relationship, now its to the point where i dont wanna be in this anymore. ...
A. 18 October 2009: Hi there, Life is very short, so you have to decide if you want to enjoy your life, or if you want to satisfy someone else's desire to have you in their life. It makes no sense, relationships are supposed to be about two people wanting to be ... (read in full...)
My mum has early stage alzheimers, and her partner isnt coping. I don't live close, what can I do?
Q. I wonder if anyone can offer me some advice?...i found out 15 months ago that my mum is in early stages of alzheimers, she is only 60 so as you can imagine it came as a massive blow to all the family. Myself and my brothers and sister have all move...
A. 16 September 2009: Hi. Aging is something we will all have to deal with if we live. I wish you well with your problem. Like you, my mom had
problems as she got older. She was bi-polar. You don't live in the states, but you might want to contact a social serv... (read in full...)
How do I find out if my partner is cheating?
Q. How can I find out if my partner is cheating? My partner and i have been together for 2 years. Lately, he has spoken of moving in together yet emotionally we have become very distant from one another. I have problems trusting him, which became ...
A. 18 July 2009: Hi there, it seems as if you care very much for your boyfriend. But the fact is, if you can't trust him, it is not a good relationship. My suggestion is that you go out for breakfast, hopefully everyone will be sober and have a clear head. Lay out ... (read in full...)
How do I find out if my partner is cheating?
Q. How can I find out if my partner is cheating? My partner and i have been together for 2 years. Lately, he has spoken of moving in together yet emotionally we have become very distant from one another. I have problems trusting him, which became ...
A. 18 July 2009: Hi there, it seems as if you care very much for your boyfriend. But the fact is, if you can't trust him, it is not a good relationship. My suggestion is that you go out for breakfast, hopefully everyone will be sober and have a clear head. Lay out ... (read in full...)
This is beyond crazy! I have developed a twitch. I have thrown up multiple times at work from the loads of anxiety! HELP!
Q. It was a coworkers last day today and our boss took us all out to lunch. I had to make sure that I sat next to all women because my boyfriend would otherwise be angry. I was on gchat with my blackberry the whole time in case he needed to check on ...
A. 10 July 2009: Hi, You do realize that this man you feel you must be with is basically destroying you. You have to gather the strength to leave him and leave him fast, this is such an unhealthy relationship in so many ways. Whatever you have to do, go back to ... (read in full...)
He tells me "if it were to become more you would be the first to know"
Q. I have been dating this guy for 6 weeks. He separated from his wife 4 months ago and he was devestated. We love each other but I am worried that this a rebound relationship for him and he still might love his wife (she left him). I also found out ...
A. 9 July 2009: Hi there, if this is the way he said this to you, for some reason, it sounds very cavalier or offhanded to me.It sounds as though he is playing the field and wants everyone to stay in place until he decides which way he is going, possibly back to ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble managing my income with 4 kids! Any suggestions?
Q. I have 4 kids and no help!!! I was praying one day that the father of my two little ones would just leave me alone, he has had a drug problem for the entire 7 years and has ruined my life we have been together, finally I came home one day and he w...
A. 30 June 2009: Hi, I feel for you especially, with the children to take care of. Check your gas and electric statements, they have programs where they will give you credits to pay your utility bills. Call them, it is based on income level in most states, and you ... (read in full...)
Hurt,confused, angry, sad & lonely all because of him!
Q. I am 20 years old and this guy and I have been going together off and on for 3years. Last year for my b-day he gave me a ring and told me it was b/c he really loved me and cared for me and wanted me to kno that we were in a serious ...
A. 19 June 2009: HI, It is so great to hear that you are in a better place. I am sure that you have peace of mind, which you didn't have before. Loving someone should not give you pain all the time.
Good luck in the future and congrats on finding your guy agai... (read in full...)
He always says how wonderful his ex is, I worry they might meet while I'm away!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and I think is going ok. He talks about his ex since ive been with him and always says how wonderful she is, he split up with his ex when he was 22 years old, now he's 34. He keeps a photo of...
A. 5 June 2009: Hi there, I think I agree with sarcy24, I had another idea until I read your entire letter. If after all this time he is still chasing ghosts, he is too stuck in the past tp waste your time with. Go on your trip, people are going to be trustworthy ... (read in full...)
I want to want to write a poem for our anniversary. Any ideas?
Q. I need to wrote a poem for me and my gf's 7 month anniversary to give her tonight (it's a thing we do) but i want to write something a little less run of the mill and a bit different. Any ideas? :)...
A. 5 June 2009: Hi, I write poetry sometimes in free verse form, not rhyming words most of the time. So I would suggest that you take a little time and write down the good things you remember about your relationship since you have been together, the funny things, ... (read in full...)
Falling in love with my sister
Q. My sister and I seem to have feelings for each other. She has a boyfriend and I also have a girlfriend. I feel like I should tell her that we can submit our feelings to each other. Can I give a try incest and what it feels like?...
A. 31 May 2009: Heyyy, So how much money do you have to spend on therapy after you do this thingee? Go somewhere and think long and hard, do you want kids, if you did it, would you want anyone to know about it? In fact, I suggest, not to be judgemental, but to try ... (read in full...)
Engaged, but I don't want to marry him!
Q. i got engaged ...but now i dont want to marry him ..he is not the kind of husband i thought of...i want to marry my love means my boyfriend ...i cant tell my family about this nor my fiancee ...pls help me what should i can do now?...
A. 31 May 2009: Hi there, Let's see, how many lives do we get? Last time I looked, it was one. This is not a rehearsal as someone said. So you can't tell your family, why not, do you really think if he decided he didn't want to go through with the marriage, he ... (read in full...)
How can I fatten myself up?
Q. SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION! im 14 about 5'6 98lbs. i want to gain FAT not MUSCLE and i want some fat in these areas: legs arms stomach and butt. I tried ensure but its too expensive. is there any supplement vitamin or powder i can drink? yes ...
A. 31 May 2009: Hi there, you are going to wish for this smallness when you are older, just wait. Best way I know to gain weigth is to eat and wait a while until the food is definitely in your stomach, you don't want to gag or choke on food. After it is in your ... (read in full...)
Guy is asking me to do things that I said I would do, but I really don't want to do them
Q. Ok , my friends ( a mix of boys and girls )and i at P.E. always talk about dirty stuff and we were asking eachother would we give someone a blowjob or would we go down on someone in the group, and my friend random says ( he's a boy) he would go ...
A. 31 May 2009: Hi there, I don't want to come off as preachey, but I want you to think about the fact that you are very young. You will meet many men who will want you to do many things. First of all, talking about doing something and doing it are two different ... (read in full...)
I feel my husband spoiled our trip!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 8 months. We never took a honeymoon. This past week, I went to a conference for my job held at a very fancy resort about an hour and half's drive away. The room was paid for and so was my food and mileage. ...
A. 26 May 2009: Hi, thanks for getting back to us. Perhaps it was stress, you are with him day to day and know the chemistry between the two of you. Take care and good luck to you in the future.... (read in full...)
Hurt,confused, angry, sad & lonely all because of him!
Q. I am 20 years old and this guy and I have been going together off and on for 3years. Last year for my b-day he gave me a ring and told me it was b/c he really loved me and cared for me and wanted me to kno that we were in a serious ...
A. 25 May 2009: Hi, The problem, I am sorry to say is not with him at this point, it is with you. He has shown you what his character is. He likes a variety, is not interested in commiting to one person, and he does not respect you or the relationship that you want ... (read in full...)
I feel like vomiting when I see them around each other!
Q. I'm in a complicated predicament. So, I was with my boyfriend for a bit over two years, we broke up for a while and he started dating my best friend. This tore me to pieces, it was the worst emotional pain I have ever felt to see them as a couple. ...
A. 25 May 2009: Hi, I hate to be the other opinion person here, but what about future girfriends. It takes two to tango, your girlfriend could not do this on her own. You need to search your sense of reality regarding your man. Will you hide him away from other ... (read in full...)
I feel like vomiting when I see them around each other!
Q. I'm in a complicated predicament. So, I was with my boyfriend for a bit over two years, we broke up for a while and he started dating my best friend. This tore me to pieces, it was the worst emotional pain I have ever felt to see them as a couple. ...
A. 24 May 2009: Hi, First of all, who broke up with whom? Did he end it or did you? If you ended it then isn't he free to date whomever? Indeed it would be nice if people didn't date their best friend's fellow or girl, but if you didn't want him, what's the ... (read in full...)
How do I get an STD test without offending my boyfriend?
Q. how do I get an STD test without offending my boyfriend? thing is we have both been unfaithful but in the way I was I couldn't have got anything and I was tested in the beginning of my relationship and nothing bad came back. now I'm really scared ...
A. 22 May 2009: Hi there, I will quote a game show title in another way, "Whose Life is it Anyway? My dear, this is your life, your body, and by the way, start thinking about safe sex, AIDS can kill, there is no shot to cure it as yet. Think about your health and ... (read in full...)
I feel my husband spoiled our trip!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 8 months. We never took a honeymoon. This past week, I went to a conference for my job held at a very fancy resort about an hour and half's drive away. The room was paid for and so was my food and mileage. ...
A. 22 May 2009: Hi there, I tend to agree with just about everything that popcycle said. There appears to be something in your history with him that has caused resentment, deep resentment. He acted like he really didn't like you and did not want to be with you on ... (read in full...)
He's slept with nearly 100 women... opinions please!
Q. Hi would just like to ask what people make of a 30 year old man who has slept with nearly 100 women?...
A. 22 May 2009: Hi there, I guess if most men and probably some women were to keep a running tally, there might be a lot of people in their pasts. But not many people would be very proud of a some what large amount of partners. How many "real" relationships has he ... (read in full...)
She can give him, the one thing that i'll never be able to.
Q. My husband and I have been together for many years. We're childhood sweethearts and got married a couple of years back. Soon after getting married, we tried to have a baby. After a long time of me not getting pregnant, we took some tests and found ...
A. 16 May 2009: Hi, I can feel the pain in your letter. This one calls for serious contemplation and discussion between the two of you. First of all what is he saying? Naturally a man who wants children is going to cater to that child. But it doesn't necessarily ... (read in full...)
I feel like a ping pong ball going between these two guys...what do I do?
Q. i was 16 when i first met him (my ex), he was then 20. he was perfect for me, a drummer, he matched my personality and character, took care of me and was all i ever wanted in a man. however, he smoked, had a nasty temper (although he use it only ...
A. 15 May 2009: Hi there, From reading your first paragraph about your ex-boyfriend, I find myself wondering why you think he is so great. Is it that the relationship was osrt of co-dependent? That you wanted to take care of him, and felt he needed you andyou ... (read in full...)
Can my marriage be saved or am I kidding myself?
Q. I have a few questions i would like your views on please,I have been searching for a year now and really need your advice to help me make up my mind once and for all. 1st can a man who has cheated more than once really change? 2nd He had a fl...
A. 12 May 2009: Hi there, I agreed with both of the earlier answers. You love a man who is, I'm sorryto say, a serial cheater. It may not even be about the sex or the women, something satisfies him about being unfaithful. There is a thrill. He gets upset because ... (read in full...)
How can I make my boyfriend stop talking to other women?
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend for the past almost 7 months. He has proposed to me twice already and I have told him that I think its too soon. I met him through my ex as they both played hockey together. After my ex dumped me I became even clo...
A. 12 May 2009: Hi there. Me thinks you need a very strong dose of self-confidence. Also, you are torturing yourself by constantly checking his facebook and text messages to see what he is saying and doing. Step back and look at your actions, you are causing ... (read in full...)
He won't let me swallow his semen
Q. My partner wont let me swallow his semen? How do I persuade him. I have had it only once and loved it as I accept it as part of him. Any suggestions....
A. 8 May 2009: Hi there, Let's cut to a very vital health concern for some informed people. If a guy cannot show me that he does not have the aids virus,(negative aids test), no semen in my mouth and no sex without a condom anyway. Even if you don't have the virus ... (read in full...)
Suggestions for brittle, yellow nails?
Q. Ok i really need some info. My nails are yellow like bad no matter what i do they won't get better and they're easily broken. I drink plenty of water and eat really healthy but nothing helps. I've tried not using much nail polish and i've tried us...
A. 8 May 2009: Hi there, I agree with the other answer. Try taking a half of a calcium pill, and a low milligram Vitamin E. Drink milk as she said, and stop painting your nails, they need to breathe. Also look for a jar of nail cream with Vitamin E in it. Loosen ... (read in full...)
Why do I wish for more?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for over a year. he has set me straight on wanting to take it slow. no ring in the near future. he enjoys his alcohol and that won't change. i go to church and he only goes on the holidays. he has been ...
A. 7 May 2009: Hi there, Your question has the answer within it, you wish for more because you are not stisfied with the state of the relationship and precisely him. You have an empty feeling in some ways. In other words you are settling for less than you deserve. ... (read in full...)
We passed 100,000 questions published on DearCupid
Q. Today is another milestone in DearCupid history: Over 100,000 questions (100,020 as I write this) have been published! Wow. Thanks to the aunts, the moderators and everyone who shares their problem. As always any ideas on how to improve the s...
A. 7 May 2009: Congratulations on the milestone and the great work on every side.... (read in full...)
Single and crazy about a married man!
Q. Alright, well here is my problem. About 7 months ago, i met this young man.When he and I met he told me he had been married twice. Appox. two months go by and then one day he calls and tells me that he is actually still married, but they are sepe...
A. 27 March 2009: hi there, You have laid out the picture. Take emotions out of this, if you can, sometimes we want something because
it appears to be out of our reach so that just heightens interest and the desire. Do you really think that if completely single and ... (read in full...)
If he knew it was wrong, why did he cheat twice?
Q. My husband cheated on me he says he is sorry and it will never happen again.When i asked him if you had never got caught would you still be going behind my back his reply was can,t really answer that but proberly.This is not the first time he has ...
A. 17 March 2009: Hi there, Sometimes it's very hard to deal with reality. But I think from some of your none questions, you realize that you have a husband with a fidelity problem. He does not appear to value his marriage or his vows. His answers are matter of fact. ... (read in full...)
Married, relationship in trouble, and I'm thinking of divorce
Q. OK, Here is my story. I am 27 years old and have been married to my wife for almost 2 years. About 4 years ago I met this other girl before I ever met my wife. We talked and it was like love before we met. We went out on a date and she was not very ...
A. 11 March 2009: Hi, thanks for doing the exercise. It tells you a bit about what is going on. You should be excited to come home to your wife for as long as it is a thrill for you to see her. You should miss her when you are not with her. If it has lost its ... (read in full...)
Married, relationship in trouble, and I'm thinking of divorce
Q. OK, Here is my story. I am 27 years old and have been married to my wife for almost 2 years. About 4 years ago I met this other girl before I ever met my wife. We talked and it was like love before we met. We went out on a date and she was not very ...
A. 11 March 2009: Hi there, I am glad you are considering consultation. Now let me get this straight, she wants you to go somewhere and enjoy yourself with another woman or women? This is very, very bad, if she loves you, why would she approve of you doing something ... (read in full...)
Married, relationship in trouble, and I'm thinking of divorce
Q. OK, Here is my story. I am 27 years old and have been married to my wife for almost 2 years. About 4 years ago I met this other girl before I ever met my wife. We talked and it was like love before we met. We went out on a date and she was not very ...
A. 10 March 2009: Hi, This is serious, but you make me laugh out loud. Suggestion, you make sure your condoms are safe! You realize that children should not be a part of this, at this time anyway. Now, let's talk a bit about your wife. There is something nagging her ... (read in full...)
Married, relationship in trouble, and I'm thinking of divorce
Q. OK, Here is my story. I am 27 years old and have been married to my wife for almost 2 years. About 4 years ago I met this other girl before I ever met my wife. We talked and it was like love before we met. We went out on a date and she was not very ...
A. 10 March 2009: Hi there, thanks for getting back with what you are thinking. Yes it could be lust, remember the grass is greener thing. Decide if you want to make a sincere effort to make the marriage work, your wife must be e part of the revitalization, have ... (read in full...)
Married, relationship in trouble, and I'm thinking of divorce
Q. OK, Here is my story. I am 27 years old and have been married to my wife for almost 2 years. About 4 years ago I met this other girl before I ever met my wife. We talked and it was like love before we met. We went out on a date and she was not very ...
A. 9 March 2009: Hi there, Answering questions for ourselves in problem situations, requires knowing who we are and what our goals are. If you know yourself, then the answers tend to follow suit. Some people get bored easily and are not suitable candidates for ... (read in full...)
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