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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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Can a guy hook up with a girl multile times and have no feelings for her?
Q. Can a guy really hook up with a girl multipile times and have no feelings for her what so ever? like is this really true? Ive heard guys can not even care what she looks like and they have no feelings for them?...
A. 15 April 2009: I have friends who go out on "Pull a Pig" nights, they get drunk and see who can sleep with the ugliest women possible.
Some men really are pigs, sorry to break the bad news.
This applies only to some men, the problem is finding the nice... (read in full...)
I did what I had to do on facebook. What's next for me?
Q. There is this girl I like, this is the same girl from my other question, and she's been avoiding me a lot. I tried to convince myself that I could get over her, but I cant. She was my first love and I've liked her for a long time. Well I did some...
A. 13 April 2009: Oh sorry I was under the impression that your friend didn't know you sent a message pretending to be him! But if he's in on this too then everything is fine..... No wait a minute, it's not and when will you obsessive teenagers ever learn that by ... (read in full...)
Why Is My Former Teacher Behaving So Strangely?
Q. Why Is My Former Teacher Behaving So Strangely? I Contacted My Former High School Teacher After 5 Years To Catch Up. He Initially Answered My Email And Said That He'd Love To See Me Again But Then when I wrote back to him to set up a date and time ...
A. 13 April 2009: He wrote back and then got cold feet, he was probably scared in case his wife or girlfriend found out.... (read in full...)
Can a guy hook up with a girl multile times and have no feelings for her?
Q. Can a guy really hook up with a girl multipile times and have no feelings for her what so ever? like is this really true? Ive heard guys can not even care what she looks like and they have no feelings for them?...
A. 13 April 2009: Yes it's very true!... (read in full...)
I did what I had to do on facebook. What's next for me?
Q. There is this girl I like, this is the same girl from my other question, and she's been avoiding me a lot. I tried to convince myself that I could get over her, but I cant. She was my first love and I've liked her for a long time. Well I did some...
A. 13 April 2009: You move on! You have officially become a stalker and that IS weird!
Please don't ever do anything like that again, it was a massive breach of privacy and trust and if I was your friend and found out you hand been using my facebook to stalk a ... (read in full...)
What are some of the descriptors of making love and having sex?
Q. How would you define the difference between making love and just having sex? What are some descriptors of each? Does one involve more touching or kissing than the other? Is it the amount of time spent? How would you suggest that I make doing it p...
A. 13 April 2009: Women make love, men have sex! lol... (read in full...)
Should I or shouldn't I, have sex with my ex?
Q. I've been contemplating this problem for a few days now, and still haven't come to a conclusion! I spoke to my ex-boyfriend last Wednesday (we don't talk much, he's in the US army) and we started off with the general chat, how everything was g...
A. 13 April 2009: Let me jump in here with a soldiers opinion:
He is away with work and feeling a bit alone, gets out the old little black book and is going through girls he knows looking for a hook up, and BANG here is his ex who isn't over him and will have sex... (read in full...)
I really can't cope with the constant rejection!
Q. Hi everybody. My problem is this, I am in love with a girl who is also my best friend. We are pretty much like a married couple and even refer to each other as husband and wife, i've never told her because I really don't know how she feels back. ...
A. 13 April 2009: She sounds quite nasty, but it is now time to be a MAN!
If for whatever reason you are "in love" with this girl you have to ask her out, if she rejects you, at least then you can move on and find a girl who actually respects you, but hanging ... (read in full...)
My parents took my mobile phone and now I cannot contact my bf anymore
Q. once when i joined in my college..i was very happy and i got a new brand mobile.and my number unfortunately spread to some gangs of boys..and they started like a good friend and finally they were torturing me saying that they would come in gang and ...
A. 13 April 2009: Use emails, and pay phones. Stealing is bad and your parents just want you to be safe.... (read in full...)
Lacking self confidence and belief due to ginger hair
Q. OK, I have just turned 19, I am male, around 6"1 and finishing my first year at uni. Almost every day, since I was about 13, I am self concious about my appearance due to my ginger hair. Usually when I'm with my friends I just forget about it ...
A. 12 April 2009: Right, I have many ginger friends and they all have good looking girlfriends, the problem you have here is self confidence not your hair colour.
I admit I have taken the piss out of my ginger mates but only as much as they take the piss out of m... (read in full...)
If he's going to see other people maybe we shouldnt be in a relationship!
Q. I'm currently in a long-distance-relationship. On Friday, my bf went out to lunch with a single, female colleague. Then they ended up spending the rest of the day together, going to a local museum and getting dinner. He told me about having lunch ...
A. 12 April 2009: Could Emily be any more right with her answer? I think not!
Your guy really does need some education in the social department!... (read in full...)
I am still young and don't want to waste my life!
Q. My husband cheated on me 2.5 years ago with someone he worked with and we almost got divorced, but we ended up trying to work it out. We have kids. Well, since then, he had made some sexual inuedos to some girl that was an ex of his friend via text ...
A. 12 April 2009: I think that the massive lack of trust justified or not is going to break your marriage whatever we say.
... (read in full...)
I have been feeling insecure about his past
Q. Hi I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and i really love him and he me but recently i have been feeling a bit insecure about his past. When we are out with his mates on nights outs like most guys the conversation turns to sex wh...
A. 12 April 2009: It's just one of those things you'll have to live with, everyone has a past of some description, you could tell your boyfriend you feel uncomfortable about his friends talking about his ex, but I really advise against confronting them because it ... (read in full...)
I love her ...But she doesn't love me!
Q. Iam in love with this gul ! every time i see her i just want to hug and kiss her. ive told her how i feel but she doesn't believe me. i just want to show her how much i love her.. but she doesn't want to cause she is seeing this other guy.. but i ...
A. 12 April 2009: I'm not going to give you a pink and fluffy answer here I'm going to be HARSH because otherwise you will think you have a chance with this girl:
She is NOT interested in you! Get over it!... (read in full...)
She said she doesn't want me in her life. What did she mean?
Q. My ex and I recently began to talk a little bit after we broke up about 4 months ago. She broke up with me with "its just not working", we were going out for about a year and half. We both were very much in love for a long time and guess just fell ...
A. 12 April 2009: It means that when asked about this girl during your "Relationship" and you lied to her. She now thinks every other thing you have ever said to her was also a lie. (I know it wasn't but in crazy girl brain that's what she thinks)
You have to face ... (read in full...)
What does this guy want from me? Why does he act this way?
Q. My Ex went to Spain a week ago. When he was about to leave to board his flight,he text me to say that he was on his way to Spain. When he returned he called me asking if he could meet out in the area where I live. He said that he had bought some ...
A. 12 April 2009: OK this post is very, very long and I got as far as the drink driving and using cell phones whilst driving and gave up. Anyone who actually cares about someone, would not let them do either as it is a major cause of death on the roads!
right... (read in full...)
I like "M" but I think he likes "J". I feel betrayed. Ask or move on??
Q. Hello Everybody, First of all thank you for your consideration and for the time you'll spend reading and answering my questions. I like a classmate, well it's more than just liking him ! His name is "M". Last week we spent 2 nights together ...
A. 12 April 2009: He tried it on with you and got nowhere so now he has moved his attention on to a girl that seems "easier" I wouldn't waste any of your time on this boy as to me it looks like he is only after one thing. ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when some one said "He has a good way with people"?
Q. what does it mean when some one said some one has a good way with people. what does that mean...
A. 12 April 2009: Having a good way with people means, that you know how to talk and interact with other human beings.... (read in full...)
I am confused. I need advice for me to move on.
Q. Dear Cupids, I am confused. I need advices for me to move on. I’ve seeing this guy for almost 2 months. He never told me he liked me, but he kept calling me “hon” and he was nice to me, and always wanted to hang out with me. For the past 3 days, we...
A. 12 April 2009: You are not stupid, this guy has been playing with your emotions for far too long. But you are right you need to move on and find a new guy who will respect you rather than hang around hoping he will get laid some time soon.... (read in full...)
Dating 3rd cousins?!
Q. I was at a wedding the other day, and I caught eye with this boy who is also my age. As soon as i saw him I fell in love. I was too nervous to talk to him properly, but we said hi to each other when we were introduced. All day we were making eye ...
A. 12 April 2009: No 3rd cousins although is a bit weird is actually ok to date, as long as both your parents are ok with it and he actually wants to date you it would be fine.
Just one point though... You don't love him, you have a crush on him, that is what lov... (read in full...)
I got way too rough, now what?
Q. I got too rough in bed, and I'm not sure what to expect from her now. Well, one day when I was having sex with my partner, she asked me to go rough, and I did, because she said she liked rough sex.But after 20 minutes, she wasn't having as many ...
A. 12 April 2009: If this is real, and she is bleeding then yes she should go to the doctors!... (read in full...)
What do I have to do? I love him.
Q. hey i'm 15 and have a boyfriend and he is 20 he is nice,cute,understanding,stupid,and very important to me but my parents knows about this and they really don't like him so what i'm going to do?...
A. 12 April 2009: Really? eyesliketheocean it's normal for girls to have sex at 13 in the UK? I think NOT! Maybe in the uneducated CHAVY areas of the UK but in general it is not normal at all!
... (read in full...)
How do I give her the bad boy attitude without going too far and running her off?
Q. I have been dating a girl for 6 months. She recently told me I was too nice and smothered her. I only call her so much because she cheated on me for a month with her ex. She is pregnant with my child. How do I give her the bad boy attitude without ...
A. 12 April 2009: Dump her! She'll soon realise she is pretty screwed with out you to look after her during her pregnancy!
Never change for someone especially don't become a badboy, child or not!... (read in full...)
What do I have to do? I love him.
Q. hey i'm 15 and have a boyfriend and he is 20 he is nice,cute,understanding,stupid,and very important to me but my parents knows about this and they really don't like him so what i'm going to do?...
A. 12 April 2009: I think our anonymous aunt may not be much older than you and not understand the worry parents face when their little girl starts dating an older man.
I think what concerns your parents is the fact that this boy is older than you are, he will hav... (read in full...)
Forgive my outporing here, but I need advice on our situation.
Q. I am really struggling with what to do. I have been in a relationship now for 8 1/2 years. We love each other however we are both unhappy. We have always had a volatile relationship however sometimes it ends up going too far. This isn't really the ...
A. 12 April 2009: It sounds like your relationship is stagnant and very one sided.
It's all very nice him wanting to stay at home and be a Dad, but come on, he won't even cook you dinner when you have been out at work to support him... No that is not on! A relation... (read in full...)
What is "set head"?
Q. Basically the guy I'm seeing was telling me how his ex would only pull (French kiss) when they were going out for 8 months and then the other day she set head. What is set head? I think it's like blow job or sucking off... But I'm not sure lol x ...
A. 12 April 2009: I hadn't even heard of "Pulling" as French kissing, so I'm lost on "set head" I think this is one you are going to ask one of your friends as it seems like local slang rather than a common term for something.... (read in full...)
Adopted son caught wanking, now he's acting up around the house
Q. Hi there, i have been through the adoption process with my 13 year old son and we are not fully sorted and happy father/son relationship, but recently i walked into the bathroom to find him masturbating. Which is fine, we all do it, but not he isnt...
A. 12 April 2009: Give him time to calm down, the poor lad must be so embarrassed and having you try and give him "the talk" is going to help much.
Act as though nothing has happened and he will get over it, you're not that old, that you don't remember being a ... (read in full...)
Getting rid of acne
Q. Ok so this has nothing to do with sex or relationships or anything but i have a question. how do i get rid of acne? I dont have alot just a few pimples in my chin and forehead. im light skinned and my pimples are very noticeable coz they look super ...
A. 12 April 2009: A good diet and plenty of water is a must for acne, try some of the facial washes available over the counter, don't go straight for the hard core stuff as that can damage your skin and cause sensitivities (Anon: Salicylic Acid - Aspirin is quite ... (read in full...)
I'm 19, he's 15..we want to be together but its not legal for another 2 years
Q. I am 19yrs old and this person I want to be with is 15yrs old. The law is what's keeping us apart. We have known eachother for 11yrs or so and have had a connection for 5yrs. I have always thought I was sick in the head for feeling this way about ...
A. 12 April 2009: If he loves you as much as you love him, he will also wait!... (read in full...)
Gave b/f bj then got cold sore..is he infected?
Q. I gave my bf a bj and then a few hrs later I started getting a cold sore...is he infected? did I infect him?...
A. 12 April 2009: YES there is a very high chance you have given him HERPES SIMPLEX!
HE MUST GO TO A DOCTOR ASAP, and can get given anti-viral drugs, unfortunately though once you have got herpes it's there for life!
Make sure you always always use condoms in f... (read in full...)
I'm 14. Should or shouldn't have sex at this age?
Q. I've known this guy since i was about 9 im 14 turning 15 now. i no that's young but yeah. Lately i've been really wanting to know what sex feels like. After a few years we have started talking again and i want to loose my virginity to him. hes alre...
A. 12 April 2009: Are you ready and financially stable enough to bring up a child, would the idea of abortion sicken you? What about AIDs have you considered how at 15 will you be able to live your life knowing that you have an irreversible sexually transmitted ... (read in full...)
I am 38, she is my 20 year old student
Q. I(38) was having a drink in a bar in late November of last year. At around 12, a young lady enters wearing decorative antlers (Christmas was in the air) on her head. Very pretty (Veronica, 20) and she seemed to be good friends with the waitress. D...
A. 11 April 2009: I think that as a tutor you are in a position of trust no matter what age your student is! If she as a consenting adult makes the first move then fair play, but if you make the first move I feel that would be a little creepy and not professional at ... (read in full...)
Swollen up!
Q. I have masturbated for the past few months, just one finger and played with my clit but last night I tried inserting a finger which I liked, I inserted two and I loved it... but a few hours later I've swollen up down below, and 24 hours later I'm ...
A. 11 April 2009: Try a melting ice cube (straight out the freezer can burn you), it sounds like you have just scratched down there.
If it is still bad in 3-5 days you should seek medical help.... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant if he came in my anus (due to condom splitting)?
Q. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend wanted to try new things so I agreed because I felt I trusted him. He wanted to try anal sex so I let him try it telling him to use a condom. The problem is the condom split and "came" up there. I'm a we...
A. 11 April 2009: There is a very slim chance that any fluid that came out of your backside may have trickled to your vagina, so YES technically you could be pregnant.
Go and get a pregnancy test and find out.... (read in full...)
26 year age gap.. he led me to bedroom.. was it a one off??
Q. basically i have had a crush on my fitness instructor for over a year now.. + we r really good mates, we watch films together, have a laugh + love meeting up for coffee.. but today we were just chilling on sofa like normal.. when he kissed me soo ...
A. 11 April 2009: I see a BIG RED flag with "Caution" written on it!... (read in full...)
Signs when someone is gay??
Q. I think my friend could be gay. What are the signs that he is?...
A. 11 April 2009: Well he might like pink things, skipping, musicals, the arts, he may develop a lisp, and loose strength in his wrists! (this is sarcasm by the way)
GROW UP! If he trusts you as a friend he will tell you. What does it matter if he is gay, bi, stra... (read in full...)
Any information on lambskin as contraception? I don't like condoms
Q. My wife needs to go off the pill because it is messing with her mental state. She has told me that in the past she has had this type of reaction to the pill and never wants to go on it again. Not interested in any hormone thing at all (e.g. IUD ...
A. 11 April 2009: IUD isn't hormone based.... (read in full...)
I'm a social misfit with no friends. What should I do?
Q. how do make friends.because i have no friends.people can be snobby to me.i don,t know how to have fun either.i never had a friends in school or collage or at sport.i don,t have great appearance either. 28 years old and i can,t fit in with people i...
A. 11 April 2009: You asked this very same question earlier here is my answer:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-you-make-friends-when-you-dont.html
... (read in full...)
Does she still feel anything for me? Help!
Q. Ok. I've been very persistent with this girl that I feel I love and I sort of did her wrong a long time ago. But I've held out the hope that she will eventually forgive me and care enough to get with me. I send her letters every now and then. And ...
A. 11 April 2009: By stalking I meant adding her to your myspace so you can "see she is ok" or in my world "Spying on her!" internet stalking is just as real as sitting in a bush outside her house and just as creepy.
You need to move on from this girl you have alr... (read in full...)
Does she still feel anything for me? Help!
Q. Ok. I've been very persistent with this girl that I feel I love and I sort of did her wrong a long time ago. But I've held out the hope that she will eventually forgive me and care enough to get with me. I send her letters every now and then. And ...
A. 11 April 2009: Are you seriously in your 20's? and Yes, She probably has done this because of you!
The reason she has done this is because you have stalked her, which is a bit creepy! She put a sad face because you infringed her personal space and then changed ... (read in full...)
Was this a female orgasm?
Q. hey im 17 and i masturbate but havent been doing it for long. i get to urge to pee and then my feet start to tingle and i have small contractions around the stomach and every time i touch my clit it is very sensitive after this. by the way i am ...
A. 11 April 2009: It sounds like it could be, not every woman screams when they orgasm, if you enjoy it keep doing it. Also try other things and see if you can make it better.... (read in full...)
Why would he need time and why does he ignore me?
Q. hiya i met this guy through facebook and we just started off as friends known each other for nearly 2 months. but its been hectic 2 months we tried going out twice and ended up breaking up one reason because my ex 2nd reason because it all got too ...
A. 11 April 2009: I hate to say this but I think he is just after sex and he just saying these nice things to you because this is what you want to hear.
He is ignoring you because things aren't going his way. I hope I am wrong but, these internet relation... (read in full...)
Weight problems affecting my love life
Q. Im struggling with my love life because im overweight but im dieting and so far I've lost 2 stone i now weigh 14 stone. and all my friends starve themselves and i wanna know if i should try and if i should how can i do it? x...
A. 11 April 2009: Starvation doesn't work, your friends are foolish!
You have done so well by dieting and the weight you have lost will stay off. Any weight lost on a starvation diet will go back on very rapidly. Also by starving yourself you will cause problems... (read in full...)
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