A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK, I have just turned 19, I am male, around 6"1 and finishing my first year at uni. Almost every day, since I was about 13, I am self concious about my appearance due to my ginger hair. Usually when I'm with my friends I just forget about it and have a good time. It's great, I imagine its what a non-self concious person experiences every day.A lot of the time, I'm constantly looking in a mirror, trying new styles and products in my hair, although I've never dyed it. I wouldn't say I've ever been bullied as I have pretty much got on well with most people. But the occasional sly remark always pops up.I have never had a real girlfriend. Closest I came was when I was 14, I knew everything was right and she did too. But confidence and inexperience stopped me from doing anything about it. Since then, I have only been friends with girls, some I know I would love to be closer with. Fact is, I think they would rather just be friends; nice looking girls don't want to go out with a guy with ginger hair who stands out do they?What can I do to get more involved? I'm not shy, I guess you say I am just not 'bad'. I was against dying my hair, confident I would find someone who liked me as I am, but more and more I am contemplating the idea. I feel like I am missing out, when I see my friends with their girlfriends, going out for meals and even just cuddling; I would love companionship like that. I envy blokes with natural good looks, physiques and dark hair. Standing near them I feel like less of a person and I know I shouldn't and should be proud of who I am...
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bullied, confidence, ginger, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (17 September 2010):
As a redhead guy I actually envy current teenagers that you can now find answers about this on the internet.When I was 13 some 20+ years ago there was no internet. I had the same issue and it was a big factor in my lack of confidence.I also had my hair dyed a bit more blonde at some time. It really didn't make a difference.It wasn't until many years later that I realised my lack of confidence was so unnecessary.There are basicly three groups of people out there. The majority really doesn't care about hair color.There's a small group who don't like red hair or are calling names, just ignore them, and there's a special group: the redophiles. They adore redheads. Sometimes that much, that they wouldn't want anything else but a redhead.I met a girl who admitted it. Unfortunatelly it didn't work out because of 'irreconcilable differences'. I've met girls who almost started drooling when they saw me ;-) and I'm really not particularly handsome.Here's my advice (not just for redheads): if you like a girl just ask her questions about whatever she is doing. A girl/woman likes that.If she likes to talk to you and smiles a lot, then you're already halfway there. Seriously, that's how it works.If instead she starts complaining about your hair or is giving you funny looks then she's not worth it. Forget about her.Use your red hair as a quick way of filtering out shallow bitches. ;-)Don't wait too long before approaching a girl. Avoid getting head over heels without knowing if she even likes you. This will save you pain.So be proud, confident and just talk to girls. The latter may be difficult for shy people but remember, you've got nothing to loose.As a redhead you actually have an increased chance of ending up with a really nice *and* good-looking girl/woman.Tip: read this topic for many responses: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/so-tell-mewhy-dont-girls-like-guys-with.html
A
male
reader, Leebo +, writes (6 May 2009):
The best you can do mate is be yourself. Thats the main thing. If girls are turning you down for your hair colour, then you're looking in the wrong place for the wrong type of girls. Hold your head high, chest out, have abit of self confidence and get amongst it!! You just have to keep plugging away at it.I wish you the best of luck
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A
male
reader, Leebo +, writes (6 May 2009):
The best you can do mate is be yourself. Thats the main thing. If girls are turning you down for your hair colour, then you're looking in the wrong place for the wrong type of girls. Hold your head high, chest out, have abit of self confidence and get amongst it!! You just have to keep plugging away at it.I wish you the best of luck
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 My hair used to be naturally red, but it's begun to get darker. I really liked red hair on ME and I feel a little sad. I don't think red hair is ugly. I see that you're British, and red hair is more common in the UK than anywhere else in the world. Could it be that the girls there may be attracted to dark hair because they see it as exotic? A lot of people in Northern Europe have fair hair, and many people are attracted to features that are different than what they're used to.
Lots of people love red hair, but if you really hate it, you can color it.
We all got made fun of for something, I think. :) Some people just like to pick on others. People suck sometimes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): I am a redhead and as a girl we redheads generally have no problems with dating. I hadn't really ever considered it, but the other day it was broght to my attention that redhead guys do have a much tougher time than girls. So here is my advice, if you are open to dying your hair, consider dying it a reddish brown. I actually prefer to have my hair this color and it can be a little less 'out of the norm' since its kinda in between brunette and redhead. My second bit of advice is to look for red head women! Really, I am always interested in redheaded men based on looks alone and I'm usually not one to be checking guys out. Maybe its because we are unique and have an uncommon thing in common :) In any case, I think that you will find redheaded women are generally into redheaded men.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): i know a red head guy who has 191 freinds and most of them females.i like a guy of his personlty 1st and looks 2nd.
then a combination help
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): Hi there Everyone has something about themselves that they wish they could change, but your 'ginger hair' as you put it is part of you and what makes you unique.Its whats inside that counts. if your a great guy (and I have NO doubt that you are) then there is no reason why girls wont go out with you. You just need to stop being the friend and start being the potential boyfriend a role that may be hard to slip into but you will get there in time.I have known girls that say they would never go out with someone with ginger hair (and guys for that matter too) but that is a GOOD thing. Anyone who rejects you because of the colour of your hair is not going to be a loving and respectful partner anyway so your better off without them.Its not just red heads these type of people reject its everyone that dosent fit their idea of perfect ie heaps of money, perfect weight blah blah. Dont feel singled out if you get rejected because your ginger because its likely that person has also found faults in many other people too.I personally think that red hair is VERY attractive on a man, and for some reason I even think ginger haired men look extremely intelligent. I have spent years dying my hair red lol so i a big fan :-)Your not less of a person than your friends just because of your hair colour. You sound like your a popular person with heaps of friends so be proud. People obviously like you. All you need is to get positive and get some more confidence. put the word out there that your looking to date. If your friends girlfriends are nice they may even set you up on dates with their friends.
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A
male
reader, TheVirus7429 +, writes (12 April 2009):
 my brother has gringer hair and so do some of my friends, they have nver had a problem getting a gf
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Try blonde , it should look good unless your freckles are really obvious, and by the way coming from a girl , ginger boys can be very attractive!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Sorry to ask - just for clarification. I'm American, and we don't use the term "ginger" for hair. Does that mean it's red or blonde?
Personally, I think both are attractive on a guy...
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 April 2009):
At school you were the ginger kid and smelled of twiglets.
School is a time when everyone wants to look exactly the same because children instinctively herd together like sheep for protection. It's sad and childish and many people who were intelligent / ginger / tall / anything else got bullied and made to feel crap.
BUT GUESS WHAT?????
You aren't at school any more!!!!!!!
You're an adult and at a time in your life when suddenly, all these kids are desperate to be tall / intelligent / ginger / stand out from the crowd.
You have a running start in that girls are going to notice you and you are tall and probably quite good looking when you don't slouch and hide.
Do you know what one thing makes a guy attractive? Confidence. That is why all these horrible rugby playing jerks get girls.
Stop thinking like a terrified teen, hold your head high, put your shoulders back and smile!!
Just pretend that you are a tall handsome chap and hold a door or two and strike up a conversation and tell a girl she has pretty eyes. I think you'll be absolutely amazed.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, BethBabes +, writes (12 April 2009):
 hey. i know what you mean. i'm also ginger. just take the sly comments as a joke. and you will find someone who loves you as you are. appearance isn't everything. just have confidence. if you like someone, give it a shot. don't dye your hair! us gingers rock!
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (12 April 2009):
 Right, I have many ginger friends and they all have good looking girlfriends, the problem you have here is self confidence not your hair colour.
I admit I have taken the piss out of my ginger mates but only as much as they take the piss out of my faults, everyone has something they hate about themselves and there is always some knob who can find your Achilles heal.
Just go out have fun and don't go looking, you will find someone one day.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): So...change your hair color if you don't like it! That's what most people do. Most aren't naturally perfect and do things to enhance their looks so why not?
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