My ex has my stuff. How long do I wait to contact him?
Q. Dear cupid.. my ex and were together for 2 years. He broke up with me and then slowly crept back into my life then I cought him perusing a relationship with another woman whiles telling me sweet nothings. Well when I found out I cut him loose I ...
A. 1 October 2019: The sooner, the better, so that you can move on with your life. In your shoes, I would not go round myself for it; I would get a trusted friend or family member to contact your ex and make arrangements to collect the stuff so that you don't even ... (read in full...)
Is this married man hinting for me to sleep with him?
Q. Is it flirty for a married men to remove his ring while he is speaking to a woman? And to twist and toy with his ring, removing it from his finger? Once he even switched it to a finger on the opposite hand...all while talking to me. How would I kn...
A. 30 September 2019: You KNOW he is married. You KNOW he has a wife. Intrigued to know why you would even be give this a second thought? ... (read in full...)
Does he love me and want to express it this way, or is he just trying to get what he wants?
Q. I told my long term boyfriend that I was getting my IUD taken out. I said to him that he would need to start wearing condoms. He said “no I don’t pull”. We have one child together already that was unplanned. He has not proposed but has no problem if ...
A. 30 September 2019: Is the age in your profile correct? You are really in your 40s? I ask because you sound as naive as your average teenager/early 20s girl.
What is confusing you about your "boyfriend"? He is irresponsible enough to have fathered 2 children... (read in full...)
Girlfriend hangs out with male friend and and don’t tell me
Q. My girlfriend soon to be finance chills with my best friend but i didn’t know about it . We broke up for like 2 days then she goes drunk and she tells me her sister went with her but i can’t ask her sister about it because her sister will lie for ...
A. 29 September 2019: Bottom line: do you trust her? If not, then cut your losses and move on. You cannot build a lasting relationships without trust.
... (read in full...)
How do I tell my girlfriend, "sorry, my life has been a lie, I'm gay and a cross dresser"?
Q. I'm gay and I don't know how to tell my partner or even how to live as a gay man. I've been attracted to other men for as long as I can remember, but I've only dated women, or had relationships with women. At first I told myself I must be bisexual...
A. 29 September 2019: Having been at the receiving end of what you are doing, it infuriates me that men think this is ok. Although we are talking about nearly 40 years ago, I still remember how dirty and used I felt when I found out the guy I had been dating was actually ... (read in full...)
Does he like me more than he is letting on?
Q. I was hooking up with this guy for 5 months literally every weekend. Met his family, his closest friends, stayed over every weekend, etc. I fell pretty hard and told him I wanted more and thought a relationship was worth exploring. His response was ...
A. 29 September 2019: Sweetheart, when someone tells you they have nothing more to offer you than what they have done already, you need to LISTEN and ACCEPT it. "You deserve better" is a polite way of saying "You DESERVE more but I am not prepared to give it to you".
... (read in full...)
Help me find peace living with my nagging mom
Q. My mom brings out the worst in me. She complains about Everything from doing her own laundry, cleaning her own house and overworking herself even when she is not in good condition, making her condition worse. I was recently left by my fiance who is ...
A. 29 September 2019: Op, I am sure you CAN cope until you get back on your own two feet. Use this as a learning experience. You will meet people like your mother throughout life. Learn NOW how to handle them and how to get the best out of them. It will serve you well in ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend isnt bother by people invading her personal space.
Q. My girlfriend seems to not be bothered by people getting too close up in her personal space . When she looking for things or working she doesn't seem phase by people squeezing through her or their body brushing up against hers without even flinching ...
A. 29 September 2019: Your follow-up reply throws a lot of light on your original post and tells me what sort of a person you are. Let me break it down for you:
You guys and girl lack empathy and mostly immature replies (Disagreeing with someone is not the same as ... (read in full...)
I'm so relieved he dumped me, but I do feel dirty and gross.
Q. I'm 14 years old and was just dumped by my first boyfriend. I am not sad, I am relieved! Literally when we hung up, I said, "thank God that's finally over!" Having a boyfriend was not what I thought it would be.i thought I'd have a guaranteed dat...
A. 28 September 2019: Oh sweetheart, sending hugs. I know how much many children in care need to feel loved. Obviously I don't know your background story, why you are in foster, but have a friend who works in care and hear so many sad stories of the need of young people ... (read in full...)
Help me find peace living with my nagging mom
Q. My mom brings out the worst in me. She complains about Everything from doing her own laundry, cleaning her own house and overworking herself even when she is not in good condition, making her condition worse. I was recently left by my fiance who is ...
A. 27 September 2019: You do appreciate that your mother didn't HAVE to take you and your child into her home, don't you? She has done her parenting. You are now an adult and capable of standing on your own two feet. Do you realize how lucky you are that your parents ... (read in full...)
Does my manager still have feelings for me? Or is it all a game?
Q. Hey guys, So something has been bugging me lately. Also I don't want abuse from anyone - just advice. Last year I was struggling to cope with a personal issue and found comfort from my manager who is married. He used to text me asking if I was ...
A. 27 September 2019: Why would you need to confront him to get closure? He owes YOU nothing. If you were naive enough to believe you were special to him, that is YOUR problem, not HIS. It's his poor wife you have to feel sorry for. He is a tart. You can bank on it, he ... (read in full...)
I want your opinions on how I handled this situation?
Q. Hello members of DC, I'm here to seek your opinion on the following. A bit of history - My ex husband and I have been separated for 9 years. Financially, my ex and I split our children's tuition and living expenses in half and we keep in contact ...
A. 27 September 2019: While I understand where you are coming from regarding the safety of the children involved and the responsibility put on your daughter's shoulders, if she is old enough to drive a car, is she not old enough to make decisions for herself? Why should ... (read in full...)
At the start of our relationship, he was talking to his ex and other girls!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost a year now, but I'm only just finding out that, during the start of our relationship, he was still talking to his ex and possbily other girls. I was smitten with him. He was deployed (he's in the arm...
A. 27 September 2019: What sounds "silly" (your word) is that you say you fell in love with your now husband before you met him! It sounds like you may have a very naive view of what love really means, a very romanticised view, very child-like.
The past is what it ... (read in full...)
My best friend is having my boyfriend’s baby and I can’t deal with it!
Q. My best friend is having my boyfriend’s baby and I can’t deal with it. 7 months ago they slept together behind my back. He ended up making her pregnant as well. I’ve forgiven them both and am trying to move on and rebuild relationships wi...
A. 27 September 2019: I have a question of my own: why, at your young age, would you stick with someone who has already cheated on you, especially given that you are going to be reminded of his infidelity every day when the baby arrives? Your lives are going to change ... (read in full...)
Should I go on a date with him?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook a week a go. He messaged me first saying hi and I responded and we chatted for like an hour and told him I had to sleep to wake up early the next morning. He ask me for my number and I have it to him.the next day he texted me ...
A. 27 September 2019: I'm sorry, but did you write that HE chose the dress YOU would wear on your first date? If I understood correctly, are no alarm bells ringing with you? What the hell was THAT about? Pushing the boundaries immediately to see how pliable you would be ... (read in full...)
How would you handle your partner making such a comment?
Q. I have been married for about ten years. I married later in life, being a career person and single parent before that. At first I was wildly in love with my husband, and ignored several red flags, thinking that with someone to love him that they ...
A. 25 September 2019: Your update was not showing when I posted my original post. Glad you have straightened things out and the comment was not meant as you thought. ... (read in full...)
Our relationship has broken down after I had our baby!
Q. So I gave birth to my little boy three months ago. The pregnancy wasn’t planned as me and my partner always said that we didn’t want children, nothing against them it’s just that I don’t really think I’m a maternal person and I’ve always been a ...
A. 24 September 2019: The problem is - as you well know - your partner didn't actually WANT children. Neither did you but, once you were pregnant, you bonded with the baby (as is often the case with women), came to terms with it and now you love your son as you should. ... (read in full...)
How would you handle your partner making such a comment?
Q. I have been married for about ten years. I married later in life, being a career person and single parent before that. At first I was wildly in love with my husband, and ignored several red flags, thinking that with someone to love him that they ...
A. 24 September 2019: You already KNEW your sex drive was higher than that of your husband. NOTHING HAS CHANGED. All that has happened is that he has openly acknowledged what you both knew was happening. Did you expect him to pretend he missed being expected to perform ... (read in full...)
I don’t want to leave my husband but I need help forgetting the other man!
Q. I need some real help. Here is a bit of background that might help whoever reads this give me better advice. I have been married 5 years but together for 10. We met in high school, went to college together, and are both have the same job right n...
A. 24 September 2019: For me, the two significant bits of your post are not about the cheating (on either side) but when you say: "He is kind and is a good husband and best friend" and "I have made it known to him that I was lacking affection in our relationship and that ... (read in full...)
Just because I blocked him doesn’t mean I’m still stuck on him, right?
Q. So, my ex and I broke up two years ago! We’re together about 2 years. It was a very toxic relationships. He never left me alone! Him and I would break up he would show up at my job. Or he would put things on my car when I was at home. He is...
A. 22 September 2019:
No, blocking him does NOT mean you are still "stuck on him" BUT, given the type of bloke he is, you are sending him mixed signals when you speak to him. He sees that as you still "wanting" him. In his world, you still love him, you still want him,... (read in full...)
My best friend wants to get me interested in his fetish thing?!?
Q. My male best friend who have known for the last 6 years He is into fetish wear and sex toys and games. He has confided in me and told me some info about his other life what interests him in this etc. He wants to get me now into it wearing outf...
A. 22 September 2019: Because he doesn't have a partner at the moment but wants to indulge his fetish? By "going to places where he gets more involved" I assume you mean parties (or orgies) where his fetish (and possibly others) are indulged? Often these parties won't ... (read in full...)
I’m not sure if he is right for me with his way of life!
Q. I have a 'friend' who i havent seen in over 1 year we wernt really close but did have 'fun' times a couple of year back. He has got back in contact and wants to see if there could be a chance of a relationship. The thing is ive changed with what i ...
A. 22 September 2019: Why would you even consider having a relationship with someone whose values and way of life would jar with you so much? There is NOTHING in your post - and I do mean NOTHING - which would lead me to think this could be a good match. You are just two ... (read in full...)
Does he really expect that I will do the first move to contact him? Shall I just move on?
Q. Hi. Here I am again, hope u all can enlighten me. So, here I already broke up with my online bf 2 days ago and its really killing me. I am desperate to contact him again and ask him to be with me. He's my online bf that is so controlling, not so ...
A. 22 September 2019: I read your post twice because it made no sense the first time (not the language, just the content). I mean, what the hell is an "on line" relationship? A relationship is about contact. It is about sharing your life. This cannot be done on line. ... (read in full...)
I feel so dumb! How do I handle this?
Q. Dear Cupid, My ex boyfriend and i have been dating again giving it another go. He says when he goes out that he doesnt acknowledge any other women and that he still acts like hes in realationship with me. Well for weeks hes been acting strange o...
A. 21 September 2019: Cheaters will usually accuse others of cheating because they judge others by their own standards. One of the first alarm bells that someone is cheating can be that they start irrationally accusing their partner of cheating (even if it is in a ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or leave my mentally ill boyfriend?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6.5 years. I'm 29 and my boyfriend is 31. We met online and moved in with each other very quickly in a new town to both of us due to me getting a new job. There were some things I didnt know about my boyfriend until a ...
A. 20 September 2019: Don't let the issue of your boyfriend's "depression" (I put that in inverted commas because it sounds like it has never been properly investigated or diagnosed) cloud the fact he is a lying cheating abusive user.
What is it you like/love about hi... (read in full...)
Should I quietly delete him?
Q. I think i know what people will advise but its better that i hear it from other people and their views. I joined a dating site 4 month ago met a man had a few dates then he decided he wanted to be single he had split from his girlfriend 5 months ...
A. 19 September 2019: What do YOU want to do? This is YOUR life. WHY is it better that you hear it from other people? They are not living your life.
That said, I will tell you what I think. Timing is crucial in relationships and, if this guy is telling the truth an... (read in full...)
Not sure what the next step is
Q. Hi Cupids! I've used this site for years and absolutely love everyone that shares some wisdom- this time I really stumped! I'm 25 and I'm at a point in my life where there's so many cross roads I'm starting to feel like I have no sense of bel...
A. 18 September 2019: I think you are making the assumption that happiness is a destination. I would suggest it is, rather, a journey. You do not reach a place in your life and suddenly become happy for ever. It is something which is constantly evolving. You will not ... (read in full...)
Five years in, where is this going?
Q. Wow! So I haven't come here for advice in a very long time, I hope you're all well! Hmm I don't really know where to begin. I am nearly twenty seven and my partner is early forties, we have been together just over five years. We are currently re...
A. 17 September 2019: THIS part of your post said it all for me: "I know compared to some relationships I have nothing to moan about". What you are effectively saying here is, "it could be worse".
Sweetheart, it could also be a LOT LOT better. You are only 27. You ... (read in full...)
I really like the co-worker who I slept with but she's non committal and there's this other girl who's interested in me. What do I do?
Q. I’ll get right to it, I have a friend that’s also a coworker and we’ve been friends for years, and honestly I’ve always wanted more but haven’t expressed myself. Until recently, I expressed my feelings and we talked and it was just a line that we ...
A. 16 September 2019: Ironic that you are considering using someone else as a Plan B option when your main crush is doing exactly the same to you. Telling you she can see you together in the future while, at the same time, telling you not to pass up on any opportunities ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my marriage because of my husband's attitude towards his baby mama?
Q. This may not be the site to ask this question as some people do not believe in God. I believe there is a God and there is of course the devil. My Christianity has not been up to par and there were times I dealt with psychic before even a pundit. ...
A. 16 September 2019: I think you are correct in your assumption that this is probably not the best forum on which to get advice on this situation. Not because we "don't believe in God" but because, to the best of my knowledge, none of the aunts and uncles have much ... (read in full...)
What should I tell the girl I'm seeing about my separation/ soon-to-be divorce?
Q. Hi Seeking advice. I have been separated from my ex wife for 12 m months now and have just applied for a divorce with the court hearing to be taken place in November. I have met someone, whom I really like and see it going somewhere. We ha...
A. 16 September 2019: You've been on 3 dates and kissed but not mentioned that you are still married? What did you talk about? Surely that should have been one of the first things you asked each other?
I think you need to make your status known to her as soon as possi... (read in full...)
We've been married a month and only had sex once
Q. I just got married a month ago and since then my wife and I had sex only once. On our honey moon we didnt have sex either. Today she came to me and said she wants to invest in her friends business and that she wants to help her friend by sending ...
A. 14 September 2019: I get the impression - please correct me if I am wrong - that your wife is from a distant country where "marrying for money" is common and young women target people from richer countries for marriage so they can send money back to their families.
... (read in full...)
Does my gf cheat or just have a guy friend?
Q. Hi Everyone, I have a question to ask. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. We live in different towns about 10 miles apart. One of my good male friends works in that town also. My gf and I get together 3 or 4 days per week. We have ...
A. 14 September 2019: Regardless of whether they are having sex or not, the fact she is cancelling dates with YOU to go out clubbing/drinking with HIM should ring alarm bells with you. It shows where her priorities lie - and it isn't with YOU by the sound of it.
Based... (read in full...)
Why hasn't my crush ever sent me a friend request on facebook?
Q. I met this girl about a year ago through class. Both of us were in relationships at the time but there was attraction, I would even say she had a major crush on me but she was very shy. I was going to break up with my partner and leave my number ...
A. 14 September 2019: I usually read posts before actually looking at the poster's profile. Are you really the age it says on your profile? I assumed you were in your teens.
Regardless of your age, you are OUT OF ORDER to be slipping your number to a girl who is alrea... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seemed to celebrate me having a miscarriage
Q. My boyfriend secretly punched the air and celebrated after I had a miscarriage. Should I dump him for being so heartless? We’ve been together for 8 months and are both 20. Things were going fine and I genuinely thought he was the kindest, sweetes...
A. 14 September 2019: Apologies, edited my previous post and forgot to move the edit to the end, hence why it's a bit disjointed. Doh. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seemed to celebrate me having a miscarriage
Q. My boyfriend secretly punched the air and celebrated after I had a miscarriage. Should I dump him for being so heartless? We’ve been together for 8 months and are both 20. Things were going fine and I genuinely thought he was the kindest, sweetes...
A. 14 September 2019: I am so sorry for your loss. Consider speaking with your doctor to get professional support in coming through this, or to your sister, given her vocation. There are many support groups out there which specialize in the grief experienced when someone ... (read in full...)
The Guy I'm Dating Apparently Abused His Ex Girlfriend. Should I Dump Him?
Q. So I met this guy on Tinder and I've been for a drink with him. It went pretty well and he's really attractive TBH (tall, dark, handsome, muscular, works in IT which I also do.) There are a few things about him that bug me a bit like it takes ag...
A. 13 September 2019: Only he and his ex know what truly went on. You have HER side of the story. His side will be totally different. The truth probably lies somewhere between the two. However, my own experience has been that there is seldom smoke without a fire (unless ... (read in full...)
I cheated my husband and don’t know how to stop it and it’s getting over the head now ..
Q. I am 29 Indian living in US past 2 years after marriage. I had a arrange marriage in India and came to US with my husband. After 2 months of my marriage I was in US with my husband alone and spend time alone when he was in office .(cause I can’t wo...
A. 12 September 2019: Ha ha!
This is a fantasy you have invented because you are bored. Bored girl, 2 hunky young neighbours, one helping with the gardening before seducing her over a bottle of wine, then it turning into a free-for-all?
Story line hundreds of chea... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex?
Q. is is normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex because that is how my boyfriend is and I give him lots of sex five times a day every weekend. I feel like his constant pressure is starting to put me off him and sex ...
A. 11 September 2019: Sweetheart, you are being used and abused. Trust me, this will only get worse.
NOBODY should make you do ANYTHING you do not want to do. It is YOUR body. He is already hurting you and this WILL get worse.
PLEASE open your eyes and see you are ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my long term partner or leave to travel?
Q. I have been with my partner for 4.5 years. I am 29 and he is 36. Over the summer I spent 4 weeks in Cambodia for a summer job, leading a team of teenagers in voluntary work to help deprived communities. I came home feeling empowered (I had no idea I ...
A. 11 September 2019: Successful happy relationships are as much about timing as about anything else. We are ready to settle down when we are ready to settle down. Everyone has a different timetable.
Two points stood out for me in your post:
- What you discove... (read in full...)
I’m still trying to understand why she did what she did 26 years ago!
Q. Hi I was married more than 26 years ago. The problem troubling me is that when I knew my wife then, she was going out with someone whom she will never and can't get married to. She didn't inform me of her status then, and we went out. Only after ...
A. 10 September 2019: P.S. You've been married to her for 26 years and still don't know why she kept you waiting but you expect a bunch of strangers who have never even met her to know? We are AGONY AUNTS, not PSYCHICS.
And don't try to turn this round as women ha... (read in full...)
I’m still trying to understand why she did what she did 26 years ago!
Q. Hi I was married more than 26 years ago. The problem troubling me is that when I knew my wife then, she was going out with someone whom she will never and can't get married to. She didn't inform me of her status then, and we went out. Only after ...
A. 10 September 2019: You KNEW she had a boyfriend yet CHOSE to stay with her and wait for her to give him up, which she eventually did. You question what SHE did yet you CHOSE to stay with her and marry her. WHY did you not walk away if it hurt you so much as you ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex?
Q. is is normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex because that is how my boyfriend is and I give him lots of sex five times a day every weekend. I feel like his constant pressure is starting to put me off him and sex ...
A. 9 September 2019: Demanding sex in an aggressive manner is NEVER acceptable. You already KNOW this is not "normal". Why do you tolerate it?
You have all the answers to your situation in your post:
"I have never had a boyfriend before with this problem"
"I fee... (read in full...)
I’m still trying to understand why she did what she did 26 years ago!
Q. Hi I was married more than 26 years ago. The problem troubling me is that when I knew my wife then, she was going out with someone whom she will never and can't get married to. She didn't inform me of her status then, and we went out. Only after ...
A. 6 September 2019: Just when you think you have met every sort of person out there, along comes a guy whose excuse for cheating for over a quarter of a century is that his wife made him wait for her for a year when they were dating. Are you saying that, because your ... (read in full...)
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