Happy marriage but I have no sexual interest and now husband wants viagara
Q. Hi Everyone. I am in a happy settled relationship with a lovely easy going hubby. We've been together for 20 years. (A record breaker for me) I'm 65 years old and he's 62. We get along well and both share a similar sense of humour. We love our ...
A. 9 February 2020: I read your post with a deep sense of sadness - for both you AND your husband.
Interesting that you start your post with the declaration that you are in a "happy" relationship. Who is happy in it? Neither you NOR your husband, by the sound of... (read in full...)
Are bad body odour and dirty clothes a deal breaker?
Q. i’ve been chatting with a guy on dating site. Built up a connection, exchanged phone numbers and have now talked on the phone a few times as well as chatting online.Decided to meet up in person as we have a lot in common and definitely a ...
A. 8 February 2020: Are you sure he isn't homeless? There are only two reasons I could think of for someone to turn up on a first date looking and smelling like he did. The first would be that they were living rough and didn't have facilities to wash. The only other ... (read in full...)
A girl he has never met sent my boyfriend a video of her boobs.
Q. My partner of 2 years has been amazing but in December I sadly found a girl had sent him a video of her showing her boobs and it really hurt me Cos he saved it and he promised me him and this girl were just mates they never met up but still it hurt ...
A. 8 February 2020: I think, firstly, you need to separate out your present from your past. The way someone else treated you has nothing to do with your current partner. It is not his responsibility to help you get over your past. You should have done that yourself ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty because for 2 years my married LDR lover has thought I am dead
Q. I am separated with 3 children, in short, I am a single mother. My story is...I had a long-distance affair with a married man from 2006 to 2017. I met him once in Hongkong and Our relationship was wonderful but also painful. I love him a lot but ...
A. 6 February 2020: Wow! Just wow! Just when I think I have heard everything and nothing else could shock me, someone like you comes along. I cannot believe you would not only fake your own death but drag your children into covering for you. As I said, wow! What sort ... (read in full...)
Be patient or move on?
Q. I started a part time course to work in education in September 2019. There is a man on the course and I thought he seemed nice but assumed he was married and left it. It has only been has time has gone on he has paid me more attention and I have ...
A. 5 February 2020: Are you just being super-cautious before deciding whether a relationship with this man would be a good idea, or are you trying to talk yourself out of going there? If your gut instinct is telling you this is not a good idea, then you should listen ... (read in full...)
What can I talk about with a former classmate if my past is off limits?
Q. I wrote in before about whether or not to meet an old classmate who wasn't nice to me and wants to make amends. I've decided to meet him (whenever that will be) but now I don't know what to talk about. Since HS I've had a string of very controll...
A. 3 February 2020: First of all, a big "well done" for turning your life around. That cannot have been easy. You have so much to be proud of. Keep up the good work, for yourself and your lovely son.
Rather than trying to give you advice, I am going to ask you a co... (read in full...)
Boundaries boyfriends and ex boyfriends
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. Normally I dont post things on the internet asking for the help of perfect strangers, but I have a couple questions and situations that I feel like Im acting childish about, but still cant help but disagree, and am not sure how ...
A. 3 February 2020: What sort of phone do you have that can't block numbers? Most phones these days can block easily enough. Can you not invest in a new phone which CAN block? Basic older models can be bought very cheaply these days. That would solve your problem.
... (read in full...)
The ex that likes to text with a kiss
Q. Broke up with my ex last year in October he says he doesn't know what he wants anymore but still texts me with kisses what does this mean? ...
A. 3 February 2020: That he wants to keep you on a back burner as a Plan B in case he gets no better offers.
You deserve to be someone's Plan A. Move on. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is addicted to prescription drugs.
Q. I met a girl a few months ago and generally hit it off. We have lots in common, we’re looking for similar things in life and from each other, and she’s beautiful. She is a lovely caring person. Very smart. Adventurous. I could go on... Obviously ...
A. 2 February 2020: Are you looking for someone with whom to share your life or a project to "fix"? If the latter, then you have found the right girl. If the former, then I would give this very very VERY serious thought.
Yes, this girl may be wonderful in many way... (read in full...)
My partner and I are arguing a lot more since our baby was born.
Q. So I had a baby boy 7 months ago and myself and my partner have argued more since having a baby than we have in the 6 and a half years we’ve been together! I’m really struggling with becoming a mother as I am not very maternal, I also lost my mother ...
A. 2 February 2020: Oh sweetheart. DEEP BREATH. You are doing great. It might not feel like it but you are. Trust me.
This is the REALITY of having a child. This is why I cringe when I hear about people having a baby "to fix" a relationship. Relationships need to ... (read in full...)
Was he confused about his intentions or did I misread the situation?
Q. Very long convoluted story here and in all honesty I think it is over and put to bed. It was a complete non event in reality, but it did affect me quite a lot at the time. I am in a happy relationship now so it’s not something I am going to actively ...
A. 1 February 2020: Oh, I think this guy knows EXACTLY what he is doing - and he is STILL doing it. He has got inside your head and he knows it. You do realize, two minutes after he walks away from you, he has probably forgotten about the encounter, don't you? You, on ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't know what's expected in a relationship.
Q. Hi, What do I do if my boyfriend (Who is an adult.) was never been taught anything about woman/Being in a romantic relationship/ Has never had any experience in a relationship? Details: (Dating for 5 months, I'm his first relationship) My boyfrie...
A. 31 January 2020: He may not know what is expected in a relationship but he must surely know he needs to wash every day and not pick and eat his boogies in public.
Would you buy a second hand car that was red instead of white (the colour you wanted), an estate i... (read in full...)
My ex doesn't like it that I'm speaking with his cousin
Q. So my ex boyfriend and I broke up a month ago and his cousin in I have been talking for a while in my ex (Trevion ) is kind of mad because he thinks its wrong . so what should I do?...
A. 30 January 2020: With Honeypie all the way on this one.
WHY are you talking to the cousin? Is it to get one over on your ex? Is it in an attempt to make him jealous? Even if you genuinely like the cousin, surely you can understand why your ex is uncomfor... (read in full...)
The woman I'm dating says I'm too much for her
Q. I've been in a relationship with someone for 3 months, I must stress, it's not sexual yet, but we both flirt and it feels like something we both like. Recently she told me I was too full on, too involved in her social media and that it was too ...
A. 29 January 2020: Reading between the lines, it sounds like your new lady friend wants and needs to take things very slowly. She needs to learn she can trust you.
Back off her social media unless she invites you to comment/get involved in something. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
My husband says he's too special for me and too special to go to counselling
Q. Hi and thank you I have been married almost 10 years. First 5 were good then it started going downhill, especially this last year. My husband can be very mean to me. Calls me stupid, idiot, dumb, b****, bast***. I think he calls me a ...
A. 29 January 2020: People will only treat us the way we ALLOW them to treat us. You have been ALLOWING him to treat you badly for so long that, to HIM, it is "normal".
This is who he is - an abuser. It is your CHOICE whether to ALLOW him to treat you this way. Do ... (read in full...)
He cried more over his old dog dying than he did over us splitting up.
Q. Hi I’ve just ended a 6 year relationship he preferred being at work and spending time with his dog than with me and his twin daughters who are 3 years old the problem is he is still living with me until he finds somewhere we split up 6 weeks ago I ...
A. 29 January 2020: ***AGAIN I HAVE TO ASK WHY DC IS NOT FLAGGING UP "FOLLOWUPS"! PURELY BY CHANCE I CAUGHT THE OP'S COMMENT.***
Apologies for the misunderstanding, op. Now that I have re-read your post carefully, word by word, I see that you do say the dog died AFT... (read in full...)
Is it possible for this to happen?
Q. My boyfriend was married at twenty years old, he is now forty. He has said he was naive, manipulated into getting married and knew he didn't love her. Is it possible people do get married when they know they don't love someone and know it wont last ...
A. 28 January 2020: Intrigued why you disbelieve him? Are you that insecure that you need to believe you are the first person he has truly loved? ... (read in full...)
My father feels I betrayed him when I was a child.
Q. My father has been mad at me for years and will hardly even speak to me. He and mom were divorced when I was 7, my brother was 9, and my sister was 4. Mom is old school about certain things. When I was 10, I had stayed out past dark playing at a ...
A. 28 January 2020: Sounds like he wanted to get one over on your mum and saw his chance when you complained about your penalty for not doing as you were told. He had it all worked out but then you decided (rightly) to stay with your mum.
This is not about you. Thi... (read in full...)
He cried more over his old dog dying than he did over us splitting up.
Q. Hi I’ve just ended a 6 year relationship he preferred being at work and spending time with his dog than with me and his twin daughters who are 3 years old the problem is he is still living with me until he finds somewhere we split up 6 weeks ago I ...
A. 28 January 2020: Personally I feel for your ex. He has just suffered a major trauma in his life - the death of his companion of 12 years - and you have chosen that time to end your relationship? I know there is never a "good" or "right" time, but really, a week ... (read in full...)
Is he normal? He says he doesn't want to sleep with me right now.
Q. I had a date last night with an amazing guy! We went out for drinks, ice cream, and to browse books at the local bookstore. After that, he invited me back to his place to play chess. We didn't get to play because we were too busy talking but then he ...
A. 27 January 2020: What's your rush? You've only just met. There could be many reasons for his not wanting to dive straight into a sexual relationship (although taking you back to his place was probably unwise in that case). Take a deep breath and let the relationship ... (read in full...)
Was it silly to throw away my entire life on the back end of a few messages and meetings?
Q. I’m 6 months out of a long term relationship. When we first got together he had what I can only describe as a flirtationship with a woman at work - just messages and flirting and I let it go, but assured him next time it happened he would be gone. ...
A. 27 January 2020: Everyone is different and what is acceptable to one person is not to another. That said, secrecy and/or lying never make a good relationship foundation. If the relationship with this work colleague was so innocent, why could he have not been ... (read in full...)
Is it psychological ED?
Q. Hello, Not really sure where to start... I'm a relatively young male and I just entered my first relationship. I am a virgin. I've never done anything sexual, other than masturbate. My girlfriend is also a virgin. Very recently, my girlfriend a...
A. 23 January 2020: Firstly, do NOT be tempted to try intercourse without protection unless you are ready to deal with an unplanned pregnancy. If you and your girlfriend want to try intercourse without a condom, she needs to be on effective birth control well before ... (read in full...)
What is the ideal male body type?
Q. I have been lifting weights for ten years and had a bodybuilder type of body. Most other males envied me. I assumed women found my type of physique attractive too. So I was surprised that my girlfriend didn't quite like the way I look and wanted me ...
A. 21 January 2020: It's such a personal individual thing. Also remember, while many people have a "type" which they find attractive, this does not necessarily mean they will be in a relationship with someone with that body type. Personality is what is most important. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont even text me while another boy will talk for hours on the phone.
Q. my boyfriend don't give me the attention that I need in he always making excuses about why he did not talk to me. But it is another boy that like me in he been there for me more than him in. me in the other boy be on the phone for 10 hours or 8 ...
A. 20 January 2020: If you text like you have written this post, may I suggest he may not actually understand your messages? I had to read your post through 3 times to try to understand it and even then I am not sure about all of it.
Some people are just not good... (read in full...)
I feel lost in life.
Q. I’m really lost in life. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t find any work and I’m just passing life by. I have wasted my 20’s trying to work hard but I just get used by companies and thrown. Now I am trying to find work and I have resorted ...
A. 19 January 2020: First things first, you are not a failure just because you have had some bad luck in your working life. While you keep trying, you are not failing. Failure involves giving up but you are not going to do that, are you? As long as you can say "I will ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to put myself in my boyfriend's ex's shoes and wonder why she's behaving the way that she is, but I can't imagine why
Q. My boyfriend's ex is still in the picture but on the peripherals, and I'm finding it hard to understand why. I have tried, so I'm just going to put the facts, coupled with my thoughts, and would like anyone to give me their feedback on what they ...
A. 17 January 2020: I have a question for YOU: why are you so obsessed with your boyfriend's ex? I can (sort of) understand why SHE is trying to hang on to him, given their past relationship. What I CAN'T understand is why YOU are so fixated with HER.
She can act ... (read in full...)
My live in boyfriend is allergic to my cats.
Q. Hello and thank you for any advice and opinions. I have a beautiful family of 5. My bf 3 cats ( midnight, xena, and princess) and a dog ( max). I have had my first cat midnight for about 4 years, my cat xena for about 3 years, my cats pri...
A. 17 January 2020: Sadly (based on your last question) it sounds like you have already decided it will be the cats who will go.
I would just give you this food for thought: if you have been with this guy for 7 years, why are you not married yet? He is your boyfrien... (read in full...)
My FWB partner now wants to get serious with me but I turned them down
Q. Hi So I met a friend with benefits last summer, we both agreed we wanted nothing serious and were free to meet other people if we wanted to. We both really didn't want anything serious so this worked fine for us. As some time passed, i felt ...
A. 17 January 2020: If you've been totally honest with this person from the start, then it is not your fault they have chosen not to believe you. (Had a similar situation myself years ago.) Be kind but be firm. You may need to cut all contact in the end (as I did).
... (read in full...)
A man I had sex with keeps ghosting me.
Q. Hi all So I really like this man who split from wife last year and now lives on own - we have had one night which was amazing about a month ago but nothing since . I’ve decided if he isn’t contacting me then he isn’t interested so have left it...
A. 17 January 2020: Block him and move on. He is playing with you. You can do better. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me terribly, maybe I deserve it.
Q. Hi everyone, hoping someone can offer some advice.. I'm a 31 year old woman and I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He's the same age. He's been living with me for six months, around the same time he lost his job. It wasn't something we ...
A. 17 January 2020: I am so sorry for the loss of your dear grandfather. Your poor grandmother must be totally lost without him and is so lucky to have a wonderful granddaughter to keep her company.
On to your problem. Firstly, NOBODY - and I mean NOBODY - deserves... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I loaned my b/f money because I wanted to help him?
Q. Hello everyone. I need help figuring out something. My boyfriend and I both in early 40s. He has a full time job, teaches at a university but financially in trouble because of divorce and some business investments. He has a potential as he is an ...
A. 16 January 2020: As I don't know you, I find it hard to figure out if you are trying to buy his affection, control him or if you are a genuinely warmhearted generous person who appreciates this money, while insignificant to you, can make a huge difference to HIM.
... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend lies about what he does when out with his friends.
Q. I suspect my bf is lying to me about his activities when out with his friends. We had a discussion before where he mentioned the sort of antics they get up to but he doesn't take part. I'm mostly concerned about his activities when they are going to ...
A. 14 January 2020: This all boils down to trust. If you don't trust him then, regardless of what a PI finds/doesn't find, you will still doubt him. You will think the PI lied or didn't do their job properly.
Has your boyfriend broken your trust in the past, ca... (read in full...)
Was breaking up with him the right thing to do? How can I bite the bullet and just move on?
Q. Dear Cupids, My long distance bf and I are breaking up and it sucks. We met in the summer and fell head over heels for each other. I returned home after the summer and we kept in touch, however at one point we had a fall out,and we stopped ta...
A. 13 January 2020: Each time you feel yourself weakening, remember how he made you FEEL. We forget what people say or do, but it is much harder to forget how they made us feel.
You are being sucked in by his "poor me" stories. Many people have bad relation... (read in full...)
I hired a PI who tells me my wife has been cheating on me.
Q. I recently found out that my wife has been having an affair for the past two years with a single male friend of ours who we had a drunken threesome with two years ago..that threesome which i initiated wasnt so fullfilling for me, since i had ...
A. 12 January 2020: If ever there was a cautionary tale about why threesomes are NEVER a good idea! I have to wonder why you would even consider a threesome after only a year of marriage. This is the price you pay for getting your wife involved with another guy. Lesson ... (read in full...)
My wife will not take a bath.
Q. wife will not take a bath it has been a month now,I have said in past, time to take a bath, she says leave me alone. I am tired of it, no sex cause of this, she smells leave the room and the sink stays, what to do other then leave....
A. 12 January 2020: Two thoughts came to me as I read your post. Firstly, your wife sounds like she may be depressed. Can you persuade her to go and see a doctor to discuss why she has no motivation to get/keep clean?
Secondly, is it possible she is intentio... (read in full...)
I can't seem to get over that my partner cheated on me last year. How can l reconcile this and move forward with life?
Q. I found out my partner cheated when he was out of the country last year. But he continued to call me every evening, said the I love you's, and the I miss you's. He was still plugged into the relationship. I've struggled since to get over it. He has ...
A. 11 January 2020: He was judging you on HIS standards and expecting you to cheat while he was away so demanding you stay at home and checking on you was his way of minimizing that risk. It shows he doesn't trust you. Unless you have ever cheated or given him cause ... (read in full...)
A commenter on facebook assumed I was being creepy.
Q. Hi ladies and gents, I am angry and a little bit sad/disappointed and I can't let it go. A friend on Facebook posted about the amount of layers they have to wear in this weather, going into great detail of the gloves, the t-shirt, walking soc...
A. 10 January 2020: Sadly the world is now full of people who look for excuses to be offended - usually on someone else's behalf. Social media is particularly rife with these people. You cannot stop them making drama where none was intended. (I had a Facebook friend up ... (read in full...)
I'm uncomfortable with the thought of my boyfriend having lap dances with naked girls.
Q. My bf of 5 years recently went on a stag do and went to a strip club. I didn't have a problem with this as he was open about it and stayed in touch whilst away. We have a strong relationship and I trust him due to the honesty. However on a recent ...
A. 9 January 2020: We're all different in what we find acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. At the end of the day I think it all boils down to how much we trust our partners. Perhaps you need to decide whether you trust this guy or not. If not, then regardless of ... (read in full...)
My motivations and decisions are based on my ex wife somehow.
Q. Hi, Seeking advice on the following issue ; Having trouble actually letting go of my ex wife. Let me explain further - 14 months ago I found out my ex wife was being disloyal, I found messages of a sexual nature on her accounts as I had susp...
A. 8 January 2020: First loves are particularly difficult to get over because we have no previous experience against which to compare and measure what has happened. Given that you were childhood sweethearts, you have known nothing else. Your whole life up to this ... (read in full...)
I'd like to have some fun with my sibling's friend, but don't know how to ask him.
Q. Please no judging, my sibling has a friend who I fancy the only problem I have is the age difference I am 42 he is 25. He has admitted in the past he liked me and this has gone on for the last 8 years. A few year back he actually sat discussing with ...
A. 7 January 2020: Some men prefer slender women while others prefer women who carry a bit more weight. Some prefer blondes, others prefer brunettes. Some prefer younger women while others prefer older. Without knowing you or this guy, we can only guess as his ... (read in full...)
Is my wife developing a violent streak?
Q. My wife threw a glass at my head during a petty argument. I’ve never known her to have a violent streak in her before. Should I be worried? On Saturday I was stripping the kitchen ceiling ready for it to be redecorated in a few weeks and when m...
A. 7 January 2020: In no way am I endorsing her behaviour. HOWEVER, I have to ask, do you regularly "wind her up"? Do you regularly dismiss her concerns as unimportant? To YOU it may have been something minor but, to her (we assume the primary care giver to the ... (read in full...)
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