How can I convince my fiance to stop lying?
Q. Hello and thank you So I’m dealing with lies from my fiancé. I have confronted him and told him I don’t appreciate when he lies to me and it makes me not trust him. For example I’ll ask him so how was your night, what did you do? He will say...
A. 23 November 2019: Do you give him a hard time if he tells you he's been out without you? Do you make him feel guilty for not taking you with him? Do you interrogate him if he goes out without you?
If you can truthfully answer all the above questions in the negative... (read in full...)
My wife's workouts are getting out of control
Q. My wife wanted to lose some weight for upcoming vacation so I encouraged her to get a trainer. A friend of hers recommend a 'gay' guy (Joe) she knew that worked out of his house at nights. Once I found out he was gay, I begged her to wear her shin...
A. 23 November 2019: Well, you really ARE getting your just desserts, aren't you? You thought it was fair game to tease this guy because he is gay (have you considered that, just perhaps, he is not?) but now that your wife has turned the tables and is teasing you, it is ... (read in full...)
How do I get over this co-worker?
Q. I’m married (unhappily) and to cut a long story short I slept with someone I work in a team with. We had sex 4 times over the space of a year, last year. He is now my manager!! Before we had sex, we were very friendly. Now we barely speak. There are ...
A. 23 November 2019: If ever there was a cautionary tale about why you should NOT mix work and sex. This is exactly why you will see, time and time again, aunts and uncles on this site advising AGAINST getting involved romantically/sexually with work colleagues. When it ... (read in full...)
I'm in shock my boyfriend lied about sending private messages to my friend.
Q. My bf basically sent a message to someone he didn’t know was my friend saying “I think you’re beautiful and I think you should know lol” She sent me the screenshot. I called him very calm and said Hey, do you message girls on insta? He said no, ...
A. 23 November 2019: What on earth does "we chose each other before we even spoke to each other" mean? All sounds very "idealist" especially given the rest of your description of how wonderful he was to you.
I suspect he is someone who tries to live idealist... (read in full...)
I want to take things slow but he thinks I am just stringing him along.
Q. I've been dating this guy for 6 months, at first everything seemed great and he seemed like a gentleman, now I'm just having a hard time understanding his intentions. I'm not the type of girl who goes and sleeps around with any guy I date. I like t...
A. 22 November 2019: When he responds in a nasty way because he can't get his own way, that is a HUGE red flag. Say you DID have sex with him. What next? Turning nasty because you won't have a threesome? Or because you won't try something different you are not ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want to reconcile so why does she care if I'm drinking or not?
Q. My wife has moved out of our home because I drink alcohol. Since she moved, she had several times if I am drinking. She, does not want to reconcile. So, why does she keep asking if I am drinking when we talk by phone? Thank you for your answers....
A. 22 November 2019: You make it sound like your wife is against you drinking ANY alcohol whereas I suspect she is against you drinking TOO MUCH alcohol.
OF COURSE she doesn't want to reconcile while you are drinking. Why should she? She left BECAUSE of your excessiv... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 15 years slept with another man and is now telling me it was just a mistake
Q. My boyfriend of 15 years slept with a guy he’d been messaging online, while I was working. He says it was a terrible mistake and he was just curious. As it turns out he’s been in gay sites for years but never did anything physical about it, till ...
A. 22 November 2019: Your profile says you are in the UK. Why are you saying you would need to move 6 hours away? Where in the UK is there no housing within 6 hours? Do you mean you would need to move back to family or something like that? That is obviously an option ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to have secret savings?
Q. I have some savings that my partner doesn’t know about. It was money that I saved up over many years and that I have set aside as an emergency fund, in case one of us loses our job, or gets sick, or we break up (I’m not planning to break up, but ...
A. 20 November 2019: Personally I would not bother telling him. It's YOUR money, not his. It's there in case of an emergency. It was saved up before you married.
In your shoes I would say nothing. IF it is ever needed, it is there. It's nothing to do with him. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 15 years slept with another man and is now telling me it was just a mistake
Q. My boyfriend of 15 years slept with a guy he’d been messaging online, while I was working. He says it was a terrible mistake and he was just curious. As it turns out he’s been in gay sites for years but never did anything physical about it, till ...
A. 20 November 2019: He's been on gay sites for years and he met up with a man for sex yet he says he is not gay? WTF?
Open your eyes, sweetie. He's bi at the very least. Worst of all, he is a cheater. Whether or not he accepts your relationship is over as a result o... (read in full...)
We have such an attraction to each other but things don't seem to go anywhere
Q. It's not actually a problem, so much as it is a little confusion. I have a guy that I've known for years. We dated for a while but it never really went anywhere since we were young and I was in school. However, we've always had a strong attracti...
A. 20 November 2019: Is there any way this can work? I doubt it. I speak from experience.
My first relationship was a bit like yours: physically we were very drawn to each other. We were in our teens the first time we went out. He was my first sexual experien... (read in full...)
If I got back with an ex I don't want his friend around
Q. I have just found out some shocking news about an exs friend. Me and my ex grew apart but he recently got back in touch i said we could chat and see if theres anything still there, he suddenly went quiet and now i have found out why . his friend has ...
A. 20 November 2019: Would you read the same book, expecting the ending to be different? Obviously not. Why would you get back with an ex, expecting a better outcome than last time? My guess? You are in your 40s (according to your profile) so, if you want children, you ... (read in full...)
I'm considering a threesome with two male friends.
Q. This is a bit embarrassing but I have two male friends who I've been friends with for a long time and we spend a lot of time together. Sometimes I sleep over at either of their houses when we can't be bothered going to our own houses. They're both ...
A. 19 November 2019: The stuff of porn fantasy. Is this post real or a wind up? Everyone needs to decide for themselves. Leaving it there as I suspect the latter. ... (read in full...)
I've realised my partner is a lazy lowlife scrounger who doesn't bath frequently enough.
Q. Hey everyone what do you when you realise your partner is a lazy lowlife scrounger when I first met my partner he had a job his own flat and looked after himself that was 6 years ago fast forward to now he is a selfish scruffy low life who thinks of ...
A. 17 November 2019: Is this how you want your daughter to think relationships should be? If she gets used to living like this, she is likely to subconsciously gravitate towards men who will treat women as badly as her father treats her mother, because that is ... (read in full...)
I met a guy on facebook, and even though he has a ring on his finger I cant stop thinking about him.
Q. Dear Cupid, A few months ago (~4-5), I saw a profile picture of a very handsome guy on Facebook. I opened the profile picture and it showed that we have about 30 mutual friends. So I befriended him. Since then, I liked his profile picture ...
A. 17 November 2019: Can I suggest that your priority should be finding out if he is in a relationship/married, not what his motives are for wanting to meet you? As you have mutual friends, this should be easy enough to do.
... (read in full...)
Would you be furious if your partner came home with a dog without consulting you?
Q. Can I ask a serious question - would you aunts be mad if your partner went and got a dog without consulting you first? Right now I am sat here absolutely raging! My partner went and got a dog last week and the thing just craps everywhere! We c...
A. 17 November 2019: I suspect there is a bigger picture here, i.e. that this is not "just" about the dog. I suspect you feel resentment because you do actually want a child but your husband doesn't, so you abide by his wishes. Although I am confused on this point ... (read in full...)
Does my boss fancy me or is she now being nice before she fires me
Q. I recently started working for an insurance company and at first my boss was a complete arsehole to me, but now three months later she’s being nice as pie and even flirty with me. I’ve even got the distinct feeling she fancies me. I’m so ...
A. 16 November 2019: Is it possible someone has had a word with her and pulled her up on her shitty behaviour towards you? I ask because our FC at work used to swear at his staff when he lost his temper until one or two people (strangely, not the people who were at the ... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to call?
Q. This question is more for the female Aunts but i am always open to hear from the men as well. Ladies (and guys) do you still believe in the 3 day rule? I met a real pretty lady last night and she texted me her number before having to go home. I d...
A. 14 November 2019: Hopefully you will have contacted the lady by now and my response will be superfluous. However, I will just say, if I had given my number to a guy and he didn't contact me for 3 days, I would suspect he wasn't that keen.
You snooze, you lose. Be... (read in full...)
Should I send a text for closure, should I feel jealous my friend works with my crush?
Q. ive liked the same person for quite a while now and sometimes my feelings towards him go away then they come back again , I wish I didn't have feelings for him but you cant help it , we got along really well at first then due to the way I acted it ...
A. 14 November 2019: Short answer to a very long post: you need to stop obsessing about this guy. He has made it quite plain he is not interested in getting involved with you. We cannot have everything we fancy in this life. Sometimes we have to just admire from a ... (read in full...)
I’m focused on school so I don’t see the need for relationships. Is that selfish or wrong somehow?
Q. I broke up recently with my boyfriend of 7 months, because I was definitely mistaken love for infatuation. The problem is, I felt really good about us being together the first two months, although things between us happened quickly, and we rushed ...
A. 13 November 2019: As I see it, you have a small window of opportunity to get your qualifications but you have the rest of your life to date. Concentrate on what is important to you NOW. Don't forget to have some fun as well though. Don't let it be purely about ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on my alcoholic boyfriend?
Q. Hi. Iv been living with my boyfriend for 2 years.he is an alcoholic.he said he will never give uo drinking. Drinking is more important than me. He has met my family but doesnt want anything to actually do with them. saying they are lovely etc but ...
A. 13 November 2019: YOU cannot "fix" him. He needs to WANT help, which he doesn't at present. I have often heard it said that addicts - because that is what he is - usually need to hit rock bottom before they start to fight back. That could take years. Indeed, it may ... (read in full...)
I need help with online dating ettiquette!
Q. Hey everyone. I was just wondering at what point when dating someone is it normal / the etiquette do you not chat with other people / ask for dates? I've been online dating for a while, but without much / any success. Had a second date recently, t...
A. 11 November 2019: I suspect, if you asked 20 different people of varying ages this question, you would get 20 different answers. Most of them would probably have the same basics but I don't think there are any hard and fast "rules" about this sort of thing.
One t... (read in full...)
My ex is a jealous, negative-minded selfish idiot in the relationship area, should I take him back?
Q. I have a tricky situation that will probably receive mixed reactions based on whether you're a dog-lover or not. Basically - I broke up with my partner a few months back. We fought at first but eventually learnt to be civil. We don't have any k...
A. 11 November 2019: From one dog lover to another: you can make compromises for the sake for a dog/dogs, but you cannot fake a whole relationship.
It is highly unlikely your ex will be any different this time around to last time. You will just be reading the same... (read in full...)
A man I have a crush on is involved with someone else
Q. First Question: To all reading this I will keep this as short as possible. I work for a supermarket chain. There is a guy who is aged 37 in work and I am aged 28. We have been friends for just a year and I developed strong feelings for him but neve...
A. 10 November 2019: He was probably "gobsmacked" by your announcement that you did not wish to remain friends because he ONLY saw you as a friend and friends do not normally make announcements like that out of the blue. It was a bit melodramatic, don't you think? You ... (read in full...)
Will I be able to stay away from my abusive ex when he turns on the charm?
Q. I am gutted that my relationship that I clung onto has turned out to be nothing more than an abusive relationship. Someone warned me at the beginning but I couldn't take it in. It's taken an episode of near strangling for me to face facts. All...
A. 10 November 2019: Well, reading your post, I would guess that, once he has broken your arm, you will be saying "Will I really only accept the reality when he fractures my skull?" You seem to think that violence below a certain level is "ok" in some way and that the ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but am lusting after her mom
Q. I love my girlfriend but I can't stop lusting after her Mum. Is there something wrong with me? We've been together for 2 years and are both 24. Her Mum is 41. I don't know what it is but over the past few months or so I've started finding her Mum ...
A. 9 November 2019: What do you do? You sit down and work out whether you have any sort of future with your girlfriend. If you are only using her to get to her mother, you need to end the relationship, kindly but totally.
It is possible you are turning into one of t... (read in full...)
My partner gave me the silent treatment even though he knows I have anxiety. How can I stop feeling hurt and move forward?
Q. My partner and I had an argument yesterday morning and the rest of the day he gave me the silent treatment. I figured after a cooling off period of several hours he might be ready to talk. I sent him one text, then another, and another. Each one ...
A. 8 November 2019: You can't change how people behave, but you CAN change how you react to their treatment of you. You need to be working on your anxiety issues so that his behaviour does not affect you in this way. He admits he was trying to punish you - and he was ... (read in full...)
I don't think I'm ever going to get over my ex
Q. Is there any way to really get over an ex? My ex fiancé and I were together for 7 years and have been split up 5 years and I’m still not over him and don’t think I ever will be. I’ve only seen him once during that time and haven’t really spoken to ...
A. 8 November 2019: Our first "proper" relationship usually remains important to us because it is usually the first time we experience all sorts - love, lust, sex, a close connection. Yours is even more significant because you had children together and, whatever ... (read in full...)
Married 40 years and not once has my wife given me oral sex. She refuses to
Q. I have been married for forty years to the same woman. She has never given me a blow job in all those years. I have gone down on her for years, but she refuses me when I ask her to do the same on me. When we were first married we had good sex but ...
A. 7 November 2019: Flaming hell, are you serious or is this a wind-up? You've decided after 40 years of marriage that you chose the wrong woman because she refused you a blow job?
Unbloodybelievable. Get hold of your head and give it a good shaking. ... (read in full...)
Don't like to see the signs of the girls he's been with in the past
Q. In love with my boyfriend of a year sex and love life is great but I feel like I can’t fully give my self to him he has so many back scars scratches from another or other females in the past I hate seeing him in the light with no shirt seeing other ...
A. 7 November 2019: Really? Are you SURE that is what they are? As you are not even sure if this "branding" is from one or more females, my guess is you haven't asked him about them. Is it possible they are from something else, like an accident, or acne? ... (read in full...)
My partner has slept in the spare room for the past 2 years but always wants sex. What gives?
Q. Hi I’ve been in my current relationship for nearly 8 years now the last 2 years he has slept in the spare room with no explanation as to why I went away for the weekend with some friends from work and he slept in our bed which I found quite strange ...
A. 5 November 2019: Have you explained to him how upsetting you find the whole situation? Ask him WHY he has chosen to sleep in the spare room, away from you.
Personally I see no problem in couples sleeping apart. My partner and I sleep in separate rooms because ... (read in full...)
I want closure from my ex. Is it wrong or silly to want to talk to him about our ending?
Q. Hi all! I have a question about a past relationship. Quick info: I am 27 and live in Nashville, I have been dating my current SO for 5 months. He is 28. It is my first healthy relationship, and I am very happy with it. The question I have ...
A. 5 November 2019: I doubt contact with him will help you at all. He has no obligation to give you the closure you feel you need. If you do talk, it will probably just open a lot of old wounds and leave you feeling even more unsettled than you currently do. It would ... (read in full...)
Is this guy too good to be true am I heading for disaster
Q. So I’ve been talking to this guy I traded numbers with on a dating site, his straight, but curious to try and says love is love and that he is really attracted to me, and that let’s just go with the flow. he is keen to meet but I keep delaying it. ...
A. 5 November 2019: But he is NOT everything you have ever wanted, is he? He is STRAIGHT. Is THAT what you want? He it trying to use you as a guinea pig. Is THAT what you want? Of course it's not. You need to open your eyes.
Alarm bells are ringing here for me - not... (read in full...)
I found my soul mate and its not my husband
Q. I'm am recently married and very happily married, there are no problems, I have a lot of live for him and he's my best friend. However I have found my soul mate in a friend, and I never believed in soulmates before but our similarities and pasts are ...
A. 5 November 2019: Being in a committed relationship does not make us blind to the attraction of others. Far from it. HOWEVER, what we CHOOSE to do about that attraction defines our morals.
If you love your husband as much as you say you do and if you want your mar... (read in full...)
My husband is extremely self focused and highly sensitive
Q. How do I help my husband whose overly sensitive (and this is an understatement!) when he gets stressed communicating with people? When he thinks that others do not react to his jokes or look away when he’s answering the question THEY asked or pr...
A. 4 November 2019: I could be wrong but it sounds like your husband's "shrink" is one of those therapists that just sits and lets the patient talk. This works for some but not for all.
Have you heard of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT?). I know a number of peopl... (read in full...)
Should I return the call of my estranged aunt?
Q. Hi All, I've been estranged from my father's family for over twelve years. It's a very long story but in short, after he and my grandmother died, there was a lot of anger, resentment and accusations. Because he and my mom were separated at the...
A. 4 November 2019: As you have only good memories of your aunt, I think you NEED to return her call otherwise you will regret it at some point in your life. Maybe your aunt is not well and wants to build bridges (with you and/OR your mother) before it is too late.
... (read in full...)
I don't trust my boyfriend around his female friend
Q. So my boyfriend told me about this girl at college that she actually likes him, and she once approached him and talked to him for a bit. I tried not to overreact and I trust him that he won't flirt or cheat on me with her, so I told him that as ...
A. 3 November 2019: I take it, now that you are in a relationship, you NEVER speak to other men? Ever? Not even casually in passing? Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you should not speak to other members of the opposite sex or have friends. That is ... (read in full...)
He wants us to have a relationship after he buys his furniture
Q. Ive met this guy through his cousin, as he was coming from other province and being single, we met on the 27 November 2018. Everything was great.at that time he was staying with his lady cousin, but was forever complaining that she doesn't cook even ...
A. 3 November 2019: Why on earth do you want to go back to him? You've already had a taste of what life with him would be like and you didn't like it. Why would you want to go back and do it all again? Would you read the same book again and expect a different ending? ... (read in full...)
How can we keep living like this? We're broken up but still living together
Q. For the past 8years I've lived with my then boyfirend away from home however we split up 3months ago but neither of us can afford to move out. I'm tied into a job contract and ha to work 3months notice and my family live a 4hour drive away so for me ...
A. 2 November 2019: In your shoes I would seek some legal advice as quickly as possible (I think you can get initial consultation free from CAB). Tell them your ex's behaviour is affecting your health (which is true) and ask them if there is any way out of your lease ... (read in full...)
It seems impossible to satisfy her sexually and it's giving me second thoughts
Q. My girlfriend of 8 months is unhappy with the amount of sex in our relationship. Tonight we had (in my opinion) a nice date and then had sex for 30 minutes ~ 1 hour and when I took her home, she just sat in pissed off silence the whole way (30 ...
A. 1 November 2019: In many posts there is a thing - or things - which jump out at me. This post is no different. In this case, it is the phrase "I can only go for so long". I have to wonder if you feel that just "pumping away" for as long as possible will get your ... (read in full...)
I have two interviews and am not sure what to wear or how to act.
Q. i have two interviews coming up in the week , one is a group interview and the other is just with the manager im assuming . they are both for a the same retail shop but in different areas . they are also both xmas temp positions. I would really ...
A. 31 October 2019: Some great advice given already. I would just add that, in your shoes I would break the ice by admitting, right at the start, that you are nervous. Just say something like "I haven't had much practice at interviews, so you will have to excuse me if ... (read in full...)
Why does a guy have sex with 2 women in two sexual relationships? Has the first dropped the ball? Why is one not good enough?
Q. I'd like to know why and how a man can have a sexual relationship with two different women concurrently? Why isn't one enough? Does that mean he isn't attracted enough to the first one? Or doesn't love her enough? Or she isn't satisfying him? ...
A. 30 October 2019: Because he CAN. Because the two women involved ALLOW it to happen. Because either one can walk away and say "I'm done with being treated in this casual manner" but CHOOSE not to.
Got to love it when enablers ask why someone is treating them bad... (read in full...)
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