Nervous about returning to abusive husband
Q. When my husband gets jealous he sometimes assaults me and becomes very intimidating and threatening to me and I get very scared. It’s even worse when he’s been drinking alcohol. I have been with him for nearly 8 years and he had jealous rages wi...
A. 22 August 2019: One of the biggest mistakes people in relationships make is thinking they can change the things about their partner they don't like and turn them into what they would like them to be. I have to assume there are things about him you like, otherwise ... (read in full...)
Will he come back to me again after taking space?
Q. I met a wonderful guy a few months ago and we hit it off immediately. He told me that I was everything he ever wanted in a relationship and I felt the same. He has a young son (3) with his ex girlfriend and I was introduced to him a couple weeks ago ...
A. 22 August 2019: See my previous response. It still stands.
Whether he intends to hurt you or not, he IS hurting you. His indecision about whether he wants to be with you is unlikely to one day magically turn into "happy ever after". It is much more likely t... (read in full...)
Do I leave a 10 year relationship? Or settle for her?
Q. Hello all. This post is as much venting as asking for others input. The sad truth is that I have nobody to talk to. So sorry if it is long. The big life question I have is: break up with my girlfriend, or settle for her. It is more than just...
A. 22 August 2019: Brilliant! Another poster who gives one impression in his first post then a completely different impression in his follow-up to justify staying put.
You remind me so much of a work colleague who, when I asked her why she had put up with serious ... (read in full...)
Nervous about returning to abusive husband
Q. When my husband gets jealous he sometimes assaults me and becomes very intimidating and threatening to me and I get very scared. It’s even worse when he’s been drinking alcohol. I have been with him for nearly 8 years and he had jealous rages wi...
A. 20 August 2019: So you knew he had anger and jealousy issues and you STILL married him? Why?
And why, having got away from him, would you want to go back to being abused?
There is so much you have not said that I do wonder about the larger picture. ... (read in full...)
Do I leave a 10 year relationship? Or settle for her?
Q. Hello all. This post is as much venting as asking for others input. The sad truth is that I have nobody to talk to. So sorry if it is long. The big life question I have is: break up with my girlfriend, or settle for her. It is more than just...
A. 20 August 2019: Wow! You are seriously considering bringing children into this already abusive and volatile situation? Aside from the practicalities of having children with someone who doesn't even touch you let alone have sex with you, how could you protect your ... (read in full...)
Should I confront him or break it off?
Q. I have been seeing him for just over two months. We have a great connection, the sex is amazing and we can talk for hours. We are comfortable around each other. It’s really great most of the time. I noticed when I started seeing him that he had ...
A. 19 August 2019: What stands out for me is that you can't seem to do anything face to face. You have fights via TEXT. You want to break up with him via EMAIL. Very strange.
I would suggest, if he is not interested in you to ask about anything, and doesn't ... (read in full...)
There's an age difference between us but I would like to get to know this person better. Should I try?
Q. There is someone who I would like to spend time with and ask if they would be up for meeting me to get to know me .this may seem really easy for some people but for me it isn't . up to now its the first time ive really ever wanted to see if I could ...
A. 19 August 2019: Suspect you are the same person who posted THIS:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/id-like-to-talk-to-this-older-man.html
In which case, perhaps re-read the answers you got last time? Or did nobody give you the answer you wanted? In which... (read in full...)
I'd like to talk to this older man but I'm unsure of how to go about it
Q. There is someone I went to speak to, but I'm no sure what to say and whether he find the fact I want to talk to him strange as there is as 17 year ago different, he's older, I always wouldn't know how to phrase my message to him so that he doesn't ...
A. 19 August 2019: Is this the same question?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/id-like-to-talk-to-this-older-man.html
... (read in full...)
How would you handle losing friends?
Q. When you lose friends or realise life long friends are stepping away. What would you do? When people suggest to work on myself, I find it depressing because I always look after myself and have gotten what I want so when I lose friends the suggestion ...
A. 19 August 2019: I would recommend you google "Friend for a reason, friend for a season, friend for life" and read it carefully. It sums up quite well why people come into our lives but don't stay for ever.
You are still very young. You will meet a lot more peo... (read in full...)
Does my partner have the right to know about the details of my therapy sessions?
Q. Hi. I won't bore you with too many details. Just want to know if you think it is appropriate for your spouse/partner to ask you about the details of your therapy sessions? I was diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD. I have begun counselling rece...
A. 19 August 2019: He can ask what he likes but it is your choice now much or how little you choose to tell him.
In fairness, he does have a vested interest in your treatment if your issues are affecting your relationship. However, this does not give him any "rig... (read in full...)
Is mutual masturbation with random online women cheating on my wife of 10 years?
Q. I've been married for 10 years. I love my wife dearly and our sex life is still very much alive and well. The problem is I used to go into chat rooms before I met her. It involved video exchanges with random women. I used to pay for it but once that ...
A. 19 August 2019: How would you feel if it was your wife doing exactly the same thing with random men? Would you think it was ok or would you feel she was cheating?
There's your answer.
Use your imagination. Google for inspiration if you need to. I am sure yo... (read in full...)
Feel like I'm wasting my life but my reasons for wanting to leave seem petty
Q. I have being in my current relationship for the past 8 years and at the moment I am questioning whether it is what I want for the long-term. I feel that after 8 years together, we should be living together or at least have a clear plan for the fut...
A. 18 August 2019: Eight years without any commitment on her part and you are still hanging on? For what? You can hang on another EIGHTY years and nothing will change.
Do you not think you deserve better? Cut contact and walk away. Get over your loss then look for... (read in full...)
I think my parents are treating me unfairly for shoplifting
Q. do you think I desrve to be punished this severely for shoplifting ? 3 days ago I got caught shoplifting,as the shopkeeper knows my mum he called her instead of the police he told her he expected me to be punished, my mum promished the shopkeeper I ...
A. 18 August 2019: I think you should find yourself something better to do than sending in the same silly posts.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-my-parents-right-to-punish-me-with.html
Nobody is amused and nobody believes you. You are just being tiresome. ... (read in full...)
Wife is angry that I hugged a co-worker
Q. My wife is angry I hugged a female former co-worker/friend that I have known for 10 years. When we seen this old co worker I have not seen her in 2 years and she is over 20 years older than me. She has met my kids. When my mother passed she sent ...
A. 18 August 2019: Sweetheart, this is a classic case of not being able to control what others say or do but of being able to control how YOU react to it.
She's taken her wedding ring off. Big deal. She's done it because she knows it upsets you. Stop showing ... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel this way that my son's friend's mother didn't acknowledge me?
Q. Hello People!!! Okay so my 6 year old son plays Pee wee football. Their is a friendly competition between him and his teammate A as I will call him. Basically A’s mom and my husband have communicated hear and their about the boys and how they can ...
A. 17 August 2019: So it was ok for YOU not to introduce yourself to HER but you feel upset in some way because SHE didn't acknowledge YOU? You are an adult with children. You need to start acting accordingly.
Are you perhaps a little insecure about the relation... (read in full...)
I left, he wants me back. What should I do?
Q. Hi Friends, I have two kids almost 3 and almost 2. I was engaged with their father for almost 3years.He was very sweet when we first met but after my first pregnancy he started changing more argument about financial.He was upset with one night I...
A. 17 August 2019: Shaking my head in disbelief. Are you serious? Or is this, perhaps, another troll, bored and killing time by posting spoof questions for people to answer? As I have no proof to the contrary, I will take it on face value and respond assuming it is ... (read in full...)
I think my parents are treating me unfairly for shoplifting
Q. do you think I desrve to be punished this severely for shoplifting ? 3 days ago I got caught shoplifting,as the shopkeeper knows my mum he called her instead of the police he told her he expected me to be punished, my mum promished the shopkeeper I ...
A. 17 August 2019: I had a feeling I had read your post before so did a quick search and guess what? Virtually identical post LAST summer holidays.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-my-parents-right-to-punish-me-with.html
If you are bored during your holi... (read in full...)
My husband has completely changed after marriage and I feel exploited
Q. Hello and thanks! Me and my husband have been together almost 3 years. Before our marriage he was mind, sweet, loving. He seemed to be the most charming man I've ever met. He would look after me if I was sick, once I passed out from heat exhaus...
A. 17 August 2019: Your husband hit gold when he hit on you, didn't he? What a lucky man. I don't blame him for doing what he is doing because YOU are enabling him.
You already KNOW what the answer is. Why do you keep asking the same question (slightly differen... (read in full...)
We've broken up but he talks as though we're still together
Q. Hi I’ve recently broken up with my partner due to a few reasons we split up nearly 2 weeks ago but he is acting as though we are still together he won’t talk to me about any problems we have this is one of the reasons I ended it but now he’s talking ...
A. 17 August 2019: You didn't think to mention in your first post that you were still living with the "ex"? Did you not think that was relevant? Or do you enjoy playing people?
If your "ex" is not listening to your requests to leave, then you need to step up the e... (read in full...)
Will he come back to me again after taking space?
Q. I met a wonderful guy a few months ago and we hit it off immediately. He told me that I was everything he ever wanted in a relationship and I felt the same. He has a young son (3) with his ex girlfriend and I was introduced to him a couple weeks ago ...
A. 17 August 2019: I suspect he probably WILL come back to you - time and time again, after dropping you time and time again. If he is not sure it is YOU he wants, then you need to move on. You know you deserve someone who IS sure. He may be fabulous in all other ways ... (read in full...)
I think my parents are treating me unfairly for shoplifting
Q. do you think I desrve to be punished this severely for shoplifting ? 3 days ago I got caught shoplifting,as the shopkeeper knows my mum he called her instead of the police he told her he expected me to be punished, my mum promished the shopkeeper I ...
A. 17 August 2019: What fantastic parents you have. If only more parents loved their children enough to take this "tough love" approach, we would not be seeing reports of feral youths running wild and terrorizing communities. Every respect to your parents.
As fo... (read in full...)
We've broken up but he talks as though we're still together
Q. Hi I’ve recently broken up with my partner due to a few reasons we split up nearly 2 weeks ago but he is acting as though we are still together he won’t talk to me about any problems we have this is one of the reasons I ended it but now he’s talking ...
A. 15 August 2019: My usual way of reading posts is to read the post first and then to look at the information on the poster. When I read your post I thought someone very young was writing, someone in their early teens who did not know how to set boundaries with ... (read in full...)
Do I go back to my ex or see if theres potential with the new guy
Q. Almost 2 years ago i started a relationship with a guy (call him A), he didnt work and suffered with ptsd and would tell elaborate lies. After 4 months we ended things so to speak, we drifted apart very fast. Fast forward to 2 month ago and i joined ...
A. 14 August 2019: If EITHER of these guys was the one for you, you would not hesitate to choose him. Have you considered that maybe NEITHER of them is right for you? I suspect you are lowering your standards due to your age and your desire to have children (knowing ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend just going through a phase? Trying to impress a friend?
Q. Im in this relationship for like about 2 years now and things have changed somuch recently. At first my BF was super nice to me and all was working out. We used to go out sometimes to places and have fun and he was like always very kind and sweet. ...
A. 14 August 2019: I dread to think what must have gone on in your life for you to value yourself so little and to think this is all you deserve. My heart goes out to you.
I've seem similar situations where vulnerable girls are sought out by men who pretend ... (read in full...)
Is what is happening to me financial abuse?
Q. Would you call this financial abuse? I go to work and support my husband who has little respect for me anyway. He also pressures me to sometimes support his parents as he so desperately wants to please them, even though they are just using him and ...
A. 14 August 2019: Any advice? Yes, DO IT! You already know it is what you want to do. What is holding you back? You've been supporting him and his parents for the last 8 years. It that what you promised or expected when you married him?
He obviously has a dysfunct... (read in full...)
I feel like I’m grieving someone who is still alive. How do I let go and cope with losing someone to addiction & mental health issues?
Q. My ex-fiancé was the man of my dreams. He proposed this year after dating for three years. A few months later, his personality suddenly changed. He became disrespectful and manipulative. He then admitted to having severe depression and anxiety ...
A. 14 August 2019: I'm so sorry for your pain. You are grieving not only the loss of all your hopes and dreams for the future with this man, but also the man you believed him to be. This "real" man must seem like a stranger to you after 3 years living with the man ... (read in full...)
Taking care of stray dogs is taking a toll on me emotionally..
Q. Hi. This isn’t a dating question but I was hoping to get some advice here . I have rescued a lot of animals in my life and it’s not easy to get help/vets in this part of the world, especially for poor stray animals. I won’t even talk about the anim...
A. 13 August 2019: Oh sweetheart, you hurt because you care. I can only imagine how painful it must be to watch these animals suffering from neglect and abuse and feel helpless. I am involved with dog rescues in the UK and we hear constantly of the dire conditions ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'll never find love...
Q. Lately I've been feeling lonely relationship wise. I'm 27 never had a boyfriend or any sort of relationship. I have many friends but I just dont get attention like that. I'm not the most feminine girl and things like that. My friends think I'm ...
A. 13 August 2019: If you always go to the same places, you will always see the same people. If you always go with friends, that instantly makes you less approachable.
Have you considered actually "putting yourself out there" and trying on-line dating? Or, if that ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like I disrespected him or is he overreacting a little bit?
Q. So my husband and I live here in England, but his family still live in Ireland so he goes over there a few times a year. Sometimes I go with him depending on if I can get time off work or not. He’s planning to go over in November but I won’t be ...
A. 12 August 2019: Like Honeypie, I suspect there is background to this that you have not mentioned. I would suspect you are going/have gone through some sort of crisis in your relationship and he is feeling insecure, hence feeling you were wanting him to stay away as ... (read in full...)
How do you get over a secret broken heart? How do I fall out of love with someone I don't want to, and still see all the time?
Q. I fell in love with someone from work and now iv got my heart broken and i dont know how to deal with this. There is no way to tell this story that paints me in a good light, and im aware of that, and i guess whats happened to me is Karma for bein...
A. 11 August 2019: You are only 27. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. You need to decide whether your relationship with your boyfriend is fixable and, if so, go about fixing it. You cannot just ignore the fact that your relationship is like two friends ... (read in full...)
Lost GF because I would not propose because I am struggling with depression from long-term unemployment
Q. Hi, I am in a quandary. My long-term girlfriend just broke up with me because I have not proposed. I don't know what to do. Here is the background: I am 48 years old, never married. I have been dating a woman, now 46, also never married, sinc...
A. 11 August 2019: Feelings are feelings. There is no right or wrong as far as feelings go in this situation. You feel the way YOU do, while she feels the way SHE does.
I think you need to realize that her having a better paid job than you does not make her supe... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and sick, and by husband shuts the door on me!
Q. Im pregnant and when I brush my treeth it triggers me to throw up. Most of the time I manage not to throw up, but I will still caugh a lot. I have tried to not put the toothbrush too far into my mouth, and then I am fine, but wont be able to clean ...
A. 11 August 2019: I understand you are pregnant and feel your boyfriend should be showing you total support. However, I do feel you are blowing this WAY out of proportion.
Your second post states you are not even actually being sick, despite giving that impressi... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my boyfriend's interactions with our mutual friend/coworker
Q. Part of me just wants to vent my feelings to people who don't know my situation, but also, I just don't know what to do. (Sorry, this will be long) The situation between my boyfriend and I has been up and down. Not like big arguments or any...
A. 10 August 2019: I'm sorry, sweetheart, but it does sound like you are "Plan B". His Plan A didn't work out (although he is still hoping it will) so he is "settling" for 2nd best. Your dad's comment was probably a gentle push to make you realize what is happening. ... (read in full...)
Need help with roommate
Q. My roommate, MJ, found out she was pregnant from a one-night-stand. When she asked me what to do, I told her she had three choices: (1) Raise the baby who would probably be disabled because we've been doing a lot of molly lately, (2) give the baby ...
A. 10 August 2019: Firstly, PLEASE stop messing with drugs (prescription or otherwise). You must surely realize this will just mess up your lives even more.
Secondly, your friend sounds like she desperately needs professional help. While you are doing your best for... (read in full...)
My best friend is mad at me for not telling him I dated someone
Q. About a year ago I asked a question regarding dating my best friend after my divorce . To give people a general background I’m divorced I’ve been friends over 13 years with an American man we started as pen pals. We have been there for eac...
A. 10 August 2019: Wow! Just wow!
Has either you or your "friend" even thought to apologize to the poor girl who got caught up in the middle of your messy relationship? Have either of you even spared a thought for how crap SHE must have felt when your "friend"... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 9 August 2019: I don't mean this to sound rude (honestly) but how would any of US know the answer to that question? Why don't you ask your wife and see what she says?
Do you have a lot of spare time on your hands? Perhaps it might be a good idea to get a hobby ... (read in full...)
I regret my decision to have an abortion and now I want another baby
Q. Hi everyone, So I had an abortion at Christmas. My boyfriend and I were only together for 6 months, we have no money and we live in my flat. At the time it seemed like the sensible decision. However 8 months later, I'm regretting the decisi...
A. 9 August 2019: I think your boyfriend is being very sensible. Your relationship is still quite new. In another 3 or 4 years time, you will have got to know each other a lot better and, hopefully, your relationship will be a lot stronger.
Babies are wonderfu... (read in full...)
He's coming on way too strong but I can't decide if he's genuine or manipulative?
Q. Me and this man have been dating for 6 months, but we have been having alot of arguments the past 3 months it's almost a weekly thing. I do like him but i don't want to make it as an official 'relationship' till i make sure he's the right man, ...
A. 9 August 2019: In your shoes I would get out of this non-relationship and remove this guy from your life completely. Yes, he is controlling. Yes, he is manipulative. Believe me, in time this will get worse and turn into abuse. If he won't listen to you now, what ... (read in full...)
Why do men bring their attention to me?
Q. Hello, I’m having issues with men who are total strangers. I am a petite Asian woman in my 20s but I look young. I am often mistaken for 19 or younger. Men approach me regardless. I try not to assume anything and go about my day. I am not a very ...
A. 9 August 2019: Because you are young and petite (and probably very attractive, at least to THEM). As long as they don't cross any boundaries (like touching you or making you feel intimidated), ignore them and carry on about your business. 30 seconds after you have ... (read in full...)
He never asks about me our conversations are shallow
Q. So I've been dating X for a little over a month, while we are dating exclusively we are taking it slow and are not in a relationship yet. He's a super nice and overall great guy, our dates are fun, he respects my space and I feel it's going great......
A. 9 August 2019: Is this how you want your future relationship to be? I am guessing not. Trouble is, he will not change. He is who he is. He is only interested if HE is talking, a "Me-Me" as I would call him. He is not interested in you, hence will not ask you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend still in touch with ex says he needs his privacy and says he will pay for sex. Is he cheating?
Q. My boyfriend has a well paid job and I know he has money, but he is too stingy. We had a small argument over money issue and he told me, if he want sex, he will just make a call and he will get it and that he needs his privacy that's why he don't ...
A. 9 August 2019: Does it matter if he is cheating or not? You are not happy in this relationship. Why are you still hanging in there despite everything which makes you unhappy?
You boyfriend is pushing you away. He disrespects you. He is mean with his money. S... (read in full...)
My soon to be ex wife threw out my personal belongings. Do I confront her? Or let it pass?
Q. A few days abo, I promised you guys the occasional rant about my divorce and my ex-wife's behaviour. Just to make sure I keep my promise, here comes another one ... Some years ago, I spent a lot of time on B and W photography doing everything...
A. 8 August 2019: Why not compromise and say to her "I KNOW you have thrown my x, y and z out. I am going to rise above your vindictiveness and not argue with you about it because it is not worth the stress, but I want you to know that I know." Then walk away and ... (read in full...)
I am worried about my boyfriend's baby mama
Q. Hello i am a young girl of 18 am dating a guy of 22 he has a child which hurt me most at times when i think of it . I truly love him and wish i could spend the rest of my life with him . He love me so much but my problem is his baby mama ,she still ...
A. 8 August 2019: I get you say you love him but, seriously, do you really need such complications at your age? You are only 18 and have the rest of your life ahead of you. His child (and its mother) will be in your boyfriend's life for the foreseeable future.
... (read in full...)
Why does my stepfather treat me better than my own mother?
Q. I don't know my biological dad and I have never been really close to my mother, she doesn't seem to care about me a lot. She does the basic parental obligations - feeding me, etc.- but she doesn't care much what's going on in my life and how I feel. ...
A. 8 August 2019: I can't add to anything which has not already been said but I didn't want to read and run.
Just a line to say I am really glad you have found some support in your life in the shape of your step father. When you are having a "moment" with him, per... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 19 July 2019: Just because someone is in a relationship does not stop them feeling attraction towards someone else. HOWEVER, what they CHOOSE to do about that defines their moral compass. What you are basically saying is, you don't trust your wife to stay ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 6 July 2019: If you wife WANTS to have an affair, she will find a way to have one, regardless of how many restrictions you put on her. In fact, the more restrictions you put on her, the more likely she is to want to kick back against them. Just human nature.
... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 2 July 2019: Me, me, me. It's all about ME. This post is all about how YOU feel. Have you always been like this? If so, why did your wife agree to marry you, I wonder.
Do you have reason not to trust your wife? If so, that is a different matter. If not, the... (read in full...)
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