My sister demanded 1/2 the take when I worked alone all day. Is this right?
Q. Hi people. My sister found a place after my dad asking us where we can sell stuff for the summer to make extra cash to pay for school. Last week on a certain day she helped me set up and left. I was there all day from 9am to 7pm without a toilet o...
A. 30 June 2019: Next time reverse the situation. YOU help with the set-up, then leave her to it. Then demand 50% of the takings. Her reaction will, hopefully, settle this for you. Either she will pay up 50% and you will feel better, or she will say this is not fair ... (read in full...)
Am I cheating? Am I doing the wrong thing?
Q. i never think that i will experience this in my life. im married to my long time boyfriend that actually we arent compatible to be together. we dont really know each other as we seldom meet back then we dated. we now have 8 months son. prior to ...
A. 29 June 2019: I can't help wondering if, everyone once in a while, you feel bored and decide to post to see what responses you will get. I do also wonder how much of this is true but I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it is ALL true.
... (read in full...)
Getting over an affair before marriage
Q. I have been married for 13 years and in a relationship 9 years before that. We have 4 daughters and everything has been going well in our marriage. However we’ve been together since high school and had a rough patch during 4 year span in college ...
A. 28 June 2019: You have been happily married for 13 years. You have 4 daughters. You need to LET GO of this OBSESSION about one episode years and years ago and stop letting it tarnish your whole marriage. How much longer are you going to hold onto it?
Your ... (read in full...)
My husband has a massive problem with texting women endlessly, no amount of counseling has helped yet I can't leave because of certain situations
Q. After 16 years of marriage I’ve hit a cross roads and I have no idea what to do next, so over the years my husband has been texting and emailing other women, it’s always in secret but strangely it’s never sexual, he meets woman at work or online and ...
A. 27 June 2019: Wow. Just wow. Not at the original problem but at the op's response.
Op, brush that chip off your shoulder and read the advice again. NOBODY has said you are feckless, a sap or anything else derogatory. Quite the opposite in fact. They have tri... (read in full...)
I lied to my ex boyfriend about my pregnancy
Q. i lied to my ex boyfriend about my pregnancy and i wanna now how i can get him to talk to me again its so hard not to think about him i can't get no sleep at night cause all i do is think about him what should i do i need help....
A. 24 June 2019: No idea what the situation was but someone so young lying about such a serious issue waves huge red flags at me. Whatever the situation, lying is NEVER the answer. ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my husband's jealousy?
Q. Hi this may seem like a pointless post but it’s really bothering me I’ve been with my partner for 8 years we have a 4 year old daughter whenever I’m playing a game or tickling her or even reading to her he makes stupid comments as though I’m not ...
A. 23 June 2019: While I can fully understand and empathize that you do not feel like showing affection towards your partner, depriving him of affection as a "tit for tat" response to his lack of affection towards you is only making the situation worse. You are both ... (read in full...)
Why does a man with a perfect girlfriend still feel the need to have sex with someone else?
Q. I'd like to know WHY a man can have sex with two women at the same time? I don't mean a threesome. But having two sexual relationships concurrently. One of the relationships is with a woman he's been with for 6 years and he supposedly loves...
A. 22 June 2019: Why does he cheat? Because he CAN. Some people (women as well as men) will take anything that's on offer, regardless of what they already have. They have no real loyalty to ANYONE. All that matters it their ego.
I am left wondering which one of t... (read in full...)
They are both my friends do I tell her that he's going to a swingers club?
Q. Hi everyone, Around a year ago I found my very close friend on a popular swingers site. He’s my best mate and I’m also pretty close with his girlfriend. They’ve been together for a few years now and have a serious relationship, house, engageme...
A. 22 June 2019: Can you be certain the girlfriend doesn't know about his "hobby"? Perhaps she just does not want it rubbing in her face (no pun intended).
You'll be familiar with the saying "don't shoot the messenger". In your shoes, I would tread very carefull... (read in full...)
Why is there so much pressure for women to stay youthful?
Q. As I am getting older I’m finding that outside influences make me conscious of my aging and like there is somehow something wrong with me or less attractive about me because I’m a woman getting older. It seems that every se one ad on is about how to ...
A. 21 June 2019: If all women woke up tomorrow, looked in the mirror and said "I am what I am and I am happy as I am", the industries which rely on women feeling insecure about themselves would all go bump overnight.
For me, the beauty of getting older is that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has grown more distant as my pregnancy goes on. Is he no longer interested?
Q. Hi so my boyfriend of a year and a half and I got pregnant recently. At the beginning when we found out he was so supportive going to appointments, helping me figure out what is going to happen with our living situation etc. Everything recently ...
A. 21 June 2019: It's anyone's guess what is going through your boyfriend's mind and how he sees your future together. However, one thing I do know is that, for some men, the baby does not become "real" until it is born. While their partner is pregnant, they can ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my husband's annoying best friend?
Q. My bf of 5 years has a friend who I can get on with but he's a bit annoying. Recently his friend came to stay for 5 days and it was very testing for me. It's one of his best friend's so I just smile and get on with it while he critisizes my cooking ...
A. 21 June 2019: You know you can set your own boundaries without getting into an argument, don't you? For instance, if he says "I want to go to independent small companies", say "That would be lovely if you are going to treat us but sadly we cannot afford to do ... (read in full...)
Do I give up my baby dream
Q. I joined a dating site last year and after a few bad dates i found a guy that was perfect we had several dates loads in common enjoy each others company but he decided to tell me hed rather be friends with benefits. I agreed but now im unsure what ...
A. 21 June 2019: You've tried to explain to your FWB that you want more but he avoids the discussion because he does NOT want more. At least not with YOU.
Sweetheart, you are worth better and you NEED better. Walk away and keep looking for what you want. This man... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my boyfriend's best friend!
Q. I just need some advice on a situation I am overwhelmed by. im not sure how common this situation is , I don't want to be judged I just need some help. so the situation is this. I have been with my boyfriend for four years, our relationship has...
A. 20 June 2019: Why are you still in this relationship with your boyfriend when you write of it so dismissively? (For the record, there is no such thing as a "perfect couple".) Is it so you can see the best friend? If the relationship is not right for you, you need ... (read in full...)
Should I cave in and help out a friend or not?
Q. I have a longtime friend… maybe some of you have one just like her… someone who’s funny, interesting and… always needs something. Here’s some background: Over the years I helped her a lot. The last time she needed help big time, I ended up doi...
A. 19 June 2019: What happens if YOU need help from your friend? Does she willingly put herself out? I ask because the failure to acknowledge your contribution towards her book does not sit well with me but then I wonder if she makes up for your help by being of ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband address me as his wife?
Q. Hello and thank you My husband addresses me as his girl , his babe, his baby on social media but never his wife. We are legally married. I'm not sure of I'm over thinking or getting upset over the title. His girl to me means girlfriend. I ha...
A. 19 June 2019: As Shakespeare famously wrote, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
I understand we are all different but, personally, I would rather someone used a nice pet name like "babe" or "baby" than just an official "wife". Surely that sou... (read in full...)
Are straight people welcome in gay clubs or not?
Q. Recently my gay friend invited me to accompany him to the gay club. I'm straight and I was kind of in two minds about it. I'm not homophobic at all but somehow I felt like I don't belong in there and as a straight person, I shouldn't occupy places ...
A. 18 June 2019: This guy's approach was crass and uncouth. No small talk, no introduction, just straight in for the grope. Oh please. Just because someone is in a gay club does not make them meat for others to grope without permission.
That aside, there will alw... (read in full...)
Is it okay to not want to contact my only remaining family?
Q. Hi, I’l l try and keep this short. I am not angry or sad. If anything I feel at piece. However, recently some mutual friends have started pressuring me into reconnecting with my family and I know they mean well, but… I just do not feel th...
A. 15 June 2019: For me the most important line of your post was at the beginning when you said you feel at peace. If your mum's family ignored contact from you 20 years ago, you have obviously survived quite well without them all that time.
Did you ever consider... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is cheating and lying to me
Q. hello to all ill try to make this long story short, i am in love with a man whom ive been with for two years, we have had some break ups along the way because he was unfaithful and got someone pregnant, he wanted to work things out so he asked for ...
A. 14 June 2019: There's a saying which springs to mind from your post: there is none so blind as he (or she) who will not see. You profess your love for this "good man" who treats you well "aside from the cheating". Cheating on someone is NOT treating them well. It ... (read in full...)
I'd like to date my friend but worried about losing his friendship
Q. I like this guy. I play tennis with him so I am around him pretty much all day every day especially because it's summer. He has shown lots of signs that he's into me but I guess I'm just scared to lose him as a friend if I get rejected. I want to ...
A. 14 June 2019: As you can't be playing tennis "all day every day", what do you two talk about when you are NOT playing tennis? You must take breaks. What's the topic of conversation?
Casually ask him what he does in the evenings or when he is NOT playing ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with post-breakup loneliness?
Q. My ex-fiance and I were together for three years. I was very upset and lost shortly after the breakup. However, as soon as I moved out a few days later, I was neutral/happy. The pressure had been lifted and this neutral/lighthearted feeling lasted ...
A. 13 June 2019: What do you do? You take one minute at a time, one hour at a time and one day at a time. Only think ahead as far as is comfortable.
You are grieving the loss of not only your ex but the life you shared and the life you dreamed of. All this has... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend lying about the period he was depressed and about how things were with his ex wife?
Q. My boyfriend has told me a few times that the years he was with his ex wife he was miserable and it was the worst time in his life (we have been together two years, they divorced over ten years ago) The other day while I was driving I asked ...
A. 13 June 2019: Are you trying to catch him out by asking these questions? I ask because that is what it sounds like. You sound like one of those "personality tests" that asks the same question in slightly different ways to see if the answer matches.
Why c... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend have to say hello to every young blonde woman that he sees?
Q. I been with my boyfriend for two years now but every time we are out walking when a young woman passes by he says hello I don't understand this as I don't say hello to random young men or women passing by and it really winds me up. He says he's just ...
A. 12 June 2019: If he acknowledged everyone while out and about, I would say he is just a very friendly guy. However, the fact that he targets young women with blonde hair would make me question his motives.
The important thing here is that you are already ... (read in full...)
My husband had a sexual fling while I was mourning the loss of my father. How do I get past this?
Q. My father died last year. It was a tough time for me and still is. We were very close. I found out recently that my husband of 6 years was having a "fling" with an old friend while I was mourning my dad's loss. It wasn't a full blown affair. It was ...
A. 12 June 2019: He is weak. He is selfish. He won't even take responsibility for his actions.
And who exactly decided it wasn't a "full blown affair"? Just what defines a "full blown affair"? He was taking energy away from your relationship when you needed h... (read in full...)
I feel so disconnected and my husband is completely emotionally unavailable
Q. I’ve been married twenty years and unhappy for around half of that . I think I was happier in the first part of the marriage because our kids were young and I Was less concerned with having a connected deep relationship. It was more about family and ...
A. 10 June 2019: As I see it, you have two options here: you can stay in the marriage and try to fulfill your need for emotional contact in other ways (e.g. via close friends) or, if that would not fill the void for you, you can bite the bullet, walk away and see if ... (read in full...)
Am I supposed to put up with my husband's mouth and his cheating?
Q. Thanks in advance My husband is so mentally abusing. It’s beem a difficult time for me. He does disrespectful things to me. He goes on instagram and follows escorts , naked women and if I tell him nicely this bothers me, he gets livid! He...
A. 10 June 2019: Why are you putting up with this? I am assuming from the vocabulary you use that you may be from a different culture. It that the reason you allow him to speak to you like he does and to treat you like he does? Because it is expected in your culture ... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend got drunk at a club and can't remember anything
Q. Dear all I've been in a relationship for nearly 3 years and during that time nothing bad has happened, it's been pretty good mostly. At the moment it is long distance and has been this way for 6 months. My girlfriend went to an exhibition ...
A. 9 June 2019: If, as you say, it is unlike her to drink too much, then my first suspicion would be she had a drink spiked with Rohypnol or something similar.
You say you have had no reason to doubt her during the course of your relationship. Don't let this inc... (read in full...)
How can I deal with judgmental and snobbish people in my place of work?
Q. I work in a engineering firm and I have come across a group. Of people two men and some of the woman that seem to be judgmental of where people live and the city they were raised. I live in a major city in the US near New York and like every city ...
A. 9 June 2019: My advice: grow a thicker skin and stop taking everything they say personally. You cannot control what people say (or do or think), but you CAN control how you view it or react to it. That is where your strength lies. You ARE strong enough to handle ... (read in full...)
Why was he dating me at the same time as getting back together with his ex?
Q. He should have just told me that he had some issues to work out with her and I would have stepped aside. I didn't even want to get involved at first but HE'S the one who pursued me... HARD! He talked about the future with me and made plans for us ...
A. 7 June 2019: Why? Because he is one of those men who cannot bear to be alone. You were his back-up plan in case things didn't work out with the mother of his child.
You ask a perfectly sensible question about it working out the second time around. Don't be... (read in full...)
I’m upset that his ex has been put back on his work team!
Q. Please help - I don't know whether i have a right to feel upset and hurt. My partner and I work for the same company - logistics - he manages ( he is one of the managers, with one of his own teams) on the customer services side - I work for the clie...
A. 6 June 2019: You have a RIGHT to feel any way you wish, but that won't change anything.
This all boils down to whether you trust him or not. She can flirt with him all she likes but, if he is faithful to you, nothing is going to happen.
If you don't ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to lie about a vasectomy?
Q. I just ended a 10 month relationship. I ended it because he admitted he lied to me about having a vasectomy at the beginning of our relationship. Is this a common occurrence? I have never heard of a man lying about birth control before and I am ...
A. 6 June 2019: Of course it is wrong. This is your LIFE and the potential life of a child we are talking about. If he can lie to you about something like this, what else is he lying about?
You are not overreacting. Your gut instinct is right. Trust him.I do... (read in full...)
Do I let him go or hope he will change his mind?
Q. I met a man last year on a dating site it was great for the first 3 month but then he said he just wanted to be friends which i thought ok. He is very aware i have feelings for him and we spoke about this. He recently said lets be fwb and because i ...
A. 6 June 2019: He has decided you are not for him. Regardless of how much you try, you will not change his mind, especially as he now has sex on a plate without any commitment. In fact, you probably stand a better chance of him changing his mind if you walk away ... (read in full...)
Abusive actions, abusive words, messaging other women—I feel I just don’t know him anymore!
Q. Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 8years. We have talked about marriage and having children and settling down. We currently live together. For the past few months however I just haven’t been happy. We’ve been arguing a lot and we just feel...
A. 6 June 2019: In your shoes I would cut my losses and not waste any more years on him. You obviously got into this relationship when you (and he, I assume) were very young. You are now very different people to 8 years ago. The relationship has run its course and ... (read in full...)
My wife has put our marriage in jeopardy because she's been hiding things
Q. I have been poly and pansexual since I can remember. I met my wife 4 years ago. She is also pansexual and poly, but unexperienced in the lifestyle. We have had threesomes together (all with men) in that time, and even found ourselves a boyfriend, ...
A. 5 June 2019: Please don't take this the wrong way but I would recommend you ask this question on a forum which caters for this sort of relationship. I say this because we have had a small number of people involved in "alternative" lifestyles on this forum before ... (read in full...)
I don’t trust him, he’s a player! Why does he not want me to move on? What to do?
Q. I like this guy from almost 1 year now I had a crush on him even though I knew he had a girlfriend Then abruptly out of the blue he started flirting with me and blushing. his friends tease me even teachers tease me by his name once I saw him with ...
A. 5 June 2019: What should you do? Why don't you ask his girlfriend that question? Put yourself in HER shoes and think how you would feel if YOUR boyfriend was playing around with other women the way he is doing.
You sound like a reasonably intelligent young wo... (read in full...)
Is it possible for beauty to love the beast?
Q. I am posting this question partly out of my own insecurities but also because some people are talking behind my back. I am a virgin who is in his first relationship. My girlfriend is a friend from school who got divorced not too long ago. I used to ...
A. 5 June 2019: Oh sweetheart. My heart goes out to you. Who told you you are ugly? Just because you are not a "pretty boy" does not make you ugly. (Ignore the bitter twisted jealous colleagues.) Also, beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder. Someone may be ... (read in full...)
I feel my husband is using me financially
Q. I don’t have anyone I can ask for advice that won’t be bias in either my favor or my husband’s favor. This might be long, but I’ll try to condense this. My husband and I are both in our late 20s. We have a daughter together. We’ve been together a ...
A. 1 June 2019: Let me answer your last question first: you ARE being taken advantage of, and then some. And of course HE doesn't want a divorce; who would keep him in the manner to which he has become accustomed?
Firstly, and most importantly, stop giving h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is illegally in my country, wants to marry me so he can stay on and is planning our wedding which is going to happen in a week!
Q. Hi everyone, I have a situation. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and he does everything for me and my kids. We first met online, he had come from a far country to visit me and he decided not to go back to his country. So now he has ...
A. 1 June 2019: Being used in this way ONCE is bad luck; any more than that and it is down to bad judgement - on YOUR part.
You do realize that he probably got your contact details via the FIRST guy who used you for this purpose, don't you? There are communit... (read in full...)
Why do men stare and smile but never acknowledge
Q. Why is it that some men stare but never speak? I work with a lot of men at a fairly large grocery chain. I was doing my grocery shopping one night after work and smiled almost instinctively at an extremely attractive man. Later that night I ran...
A. 31 May 2019: I have to ask, is the age on your profile correct? Are you really in your 40s? It has to be said, your post comes across as if it was written by someone still at school. It's the sort of thing we used to discuss and snigger and dream about when we ... (read in full...)
We had amazing dates, but now he’s left me confused!
Q. Hi everyone I am a single mum to two small children aged 1 and 5. About 4 weeks ago a met a single dad with 3 children online. We spoke daily and instantly hit it off so set a date for about 5 days later. He called me the day before as wanted...
A. 31 May 2019:
We can only guess at what might be going on with this guy. He could be absolutely genuine and just need time to sort things out with his ex. He could have been spooked by your relationship moving too fast. He could be one of these that enjoys t... (read in full...)
Thought she was my friend, is it me or has she changed?
Q. I’m not sure where to start as I’m in complete shock at the moment. a while ago I joined a dating site to find myself a girlfriend as I’ve been single for nearly a year. came across a female who I liked and seem to get on well with each other. it ...
A. 31 May 2019: This is one of those posts where I would dearly love to hear the other side of the story. I wonder what your ex friend would say to us if SHE was writing in.
I suspect it might be something along the lines of "I met a guy on a dating site. Ha... (read in full...)
Are there any laws on verbal abuse?
Q. Hello there, What is your view on verbal abuse? I was having a drink with a kinda newish 'friend' (a friend of my estranged brothers - who are both violent narcissists but no-one knows my past with them) and he suddenly turned the subject into...
A. 30 May 2019: I wasn't going to bother dipping into this one again as the other aunts and uncles seem to have it covered pretty well, including some anonymous posters. However, I just had to state that I find it very sad that someone can liken this heated ... (read in full...)
Are there any laws on verbal abuse?
Q. Hello there, What is your view on verbal abuse? I was having a drink with a kinda newish 'friend' (a friend of my estranged brothers - who are both violent narcissists but no-one knows my past with them) and he suddenly turned the subject into...
A. 27 May 2019: There are many things which have changed for the better over the years (such as attitudes towards men feeling free to grope women whenever they choose). However, one of the things which I personally feel is almost a step backwards is the way people ... (read in full...)
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