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Why does my stepfather treat me better than my own mother?

Q.   I don't know my biological dad and I have never been really close to my mother, she doesn't seem to care about me a lot. She does the basic parental obligations - feeding me, etc.- but she doesn't care much what's going on in my life and how I feel. ...

A.   8 August 2019: I can't add to anything which has not already been said but I didn't want to read and run. Just a line to say I am really glad you have found some support in your life in the shape of your step father. When you are having a "moment" with him, per... (read in full...)

I can't get over my ex but I know he's an ex for a reason

Q.   I can't get over my ex.. It's been 8 months but I think about him 10times a day.. Dream about him often.. It makes it worse when he calls to tell me he misses me.... But his an ex for reasons..his not aware I miss him... But I don't know why the ...

A.   7 August 2019: You obviously remember the good things about the relationship, not the bad things. You remember the nice things about him, not the nasty things. Each time a nice thought about him pops into your mind, replace it immediately with one of the reas... (read in full...)

How long does it take after a break up to stop hurting?

Q.   Hi I’ve just ended a 6 year relationship to be honest I didn’t want to end it but I couldn’t see any other way we never do anything or go anywhere together he won’t talk to me so any problems just build up the last few weeks he has completely ...

A.   7 August 2019: Your relationship really ended a long time ago, when HE showed himself incapable of sharing anything in his life with you, not even one night out a month. People can only change if THEY want to. Equally sadly, he just wasted your time by hanging ... (read in full...)

Even divorcees with kids have it better than me when it comes to dating and marriage! What am I doing wrong?

Q.   This is more like a frustration rant. My last relationship ended years ago. Since then, I have been going on dates, dating events etc but have not found anyone suitable. A year back, I have also signed with matchmaking agencies where I spent over ...

A.   6 August 2019: I agree you are completely right not to "settle", and most certainly not for someone you don't even like. Dating is all about "trying before buying". If you try and don't like, move on and try another. When you meet the right one, you will ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend betrayed me in front of my family. Was I justified in dumping her?

Q.   My girlfriend and I were together for 3 years. We have an age gap relationship. She’s 22 im 33. Out of all three years this one has had to be the most stressful. For the last 6 months I’ve been unable to make ends meet. If it’s not one thing it...

A.   6 August 2019: Yes, you did the right thing in ending the relationship. She deserves someone who appreciates her instead of blaming her for everything that goes wrong in his life. She's dodged a bullet in my opinion. If she has any brain cells at all, she will ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with 2 men and unable to choose

Q.   I'm in love with two men and unable to choose. my long term boyfriend who I have been with for over a decade but I find im not physically attracted to him anymore and don't want sex with him but I do love him and his personality is like my soul ...

A.   6 August 2019: WHY do you believe one of these men is right for you? If they REALLY were, you would have no problem in reaching a decision. You are with both because they both offer you SOMETHING you want, but neither of them offer you ALL that you want. First... (read in full...)

Do I give my ex extra time to pay me back or go to court?

Q.   I was dating a guy for almost a year, he had had a very bad time with his health and wasnt working. He slowly got better and the doctor signed him off sick so he could work. In the time he wasnt working i offered to lend him a bit of money which he ...

A.   5 August 2019: In your shoes, I would go legal with this. If he truly can't afford to pay, he will be given a set time by the courts to pay you back. If he fails to keep to this agreement, there will be consequences. You've been "reasonable" for long enough. ... (read in full...)

We are uneasy with our son's choice of a wife that we know very little about

Q.   My son works abroad and is engaged to his Brazilian girlfriend for a year. They were planning to get married next year. Now he has told us that they tend to marry next month in Brazil without us being there! Both myself and my husband feel ver...

A.   4 August 2019: I think it will help you if you can hold onto the fact that he is not getting married in Brazil without you there to hurt you but because that is where his life is at the moment and that is where he and his fiancee have decided they want to get ... (read in full...)

Online romance was going well till we face timed. He acted like things were great but has now said he can't be in a relationship

Q.   So I'm pretty upset...been chatting to this guy for a month...we have talked every day for hours. We get on really well or so I thought...similar interested he makes me laugh loads and he was initiating texts like good morning texts etc. He used to ...

A.   4 August 2019: Trying to second guess what was going on in someone's head and/or why they made certain decisions is just that: a guessing game. If YOU don't know why this guy suddenly changed his mind, then we, who have never even spoken with him and don't know ... (read in full...)

I don't feel the love anymore and wonder if he is cheating

Q.   I think my boyfriend is cheating on me but I have no proof. We have been together for 2.5 years. Probably within the past 5-6 months our relationship has changed drastically and it hasn't gotten any better. I am feeling so unwanted and alone. I feel ...

A.   4 August 2019: Regardless of whether your boyfriend is cheating or not, your relationship is not good and you are not happy. In your shoes I would not be fixating on whether he is cheating or not but would be trying to work out whether you actually want to try t... (read in full...)

My b/f found out I texted my ex to make sure he no longer contacted me. My b/f hit me but I want to make things right with him!

Q.   Me and my bf were in good relationship but I messed up everything . We loved each other alot . I used to hide things and our relationship become worse than anything. Day before yesterday we decided to forgot the past and started a fresh ...

A.   3 August 2019: Do not EVER take the blame for someone being violent or abusive towards you. Whatever you may have done, there is absolutely NO justification for violence (be it physical, emotional or verbal). Your boyfriend has already shown his true colours.... (read in full...)

Even divorcees with kids have it better than me when it comes to dating and marriage! What am I doing wrong?

Q.   This is more like a frustration rant. My last relationship ended years ago. Since then, I have been going on dates, dating events etc but have not found anyone suitable. A year back, I have also signed with matchmaking agencies where I spent over ...

A.   3 August 2019: Most of your post is about other people. It would have been much more useful if you had given more details about what has gone wrong when YOU have dated. Dating is not a competition or a race. One of your friends finding someone they are happy wi... (read in full...)

Did he lead me on or am I just stupid?

Q.   I've posted numerous times before anonymously. Long story short - my ex and I work together. Friends first then started dating which was perfect...he told me he had a stronger bond with me than he'd ever had before with anyone, after three mont...

A.   2 August 2019: If ever there was a cautionary tale about what a bad idea it is to date work mates, this has to be it - from BOTH sides. Your ex is probably making a point of speaking to you about work to show you that life has to go on and you both SHOULD b... (read in full...)

Boyfriend deleted his ex girlfriend's texts

Q.   I've been living with my bf now for almost 2 years. Recently, his ex texted him again. I know because he told me that she did. I asked to read the texts a few days later, but was told that they had been deleted. I asked why he had deleted the...

A.   2 August 2019: If she still has feelings for him, that's HER problem, not YOURS or HIS. If he was remotely interested, surely he would have deleted her texts without mentioning them to you? Don't make a big deal out of this. You shouldn't be reading each oth... (read in full...)

My prince charming has turned into a frog

Q.   Hello and thank you My husband was very charming, and loving before we got married. After our marriage things changed. It seems he doesn't like compromising and feels he can still act single. He talks to exes( no children involved) he goe...

A.   2 August 2019: Your husband is saying it as it is. You ARE brainless, stupid and an idiot - for putting up with being treated in this way. He thinks he can treat you any way he wishes and you will just put up with it, because that is what you have done so far. ... (read in full...)

How can I deal with my conservative- verbally abusive living situation?

Q.   How can I navigate my abusive living situation? Background - I grew up in a conservative home ( think our current state of the union remarks) is here my parents care about money- materials and how good their daughters looks and well educated...

A.   1 August 2019: This too will pass. In the meantime, take a deep breath and keep reminding yourself WHY you are in this situation and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You KNOW you have done the right thing. The true price you are paying for your ... (read in full...)

Do I have to invite this person to my party?

Q.   I'm having a birthday party soon.I have to restrict numbers because of budget. Some of the people coming are frinds of my gf- I've been with her for 10 years. There's one particular guy I can't stand. He often makes digs at me, and although never d...

A.   30 July 2019: You have the "right" to invite who you want to your party, especially as you are paying. It is YOUR birthday party so you should be able to invite the friends you WANT to be there. However, life is seldom that simple and straight forward and you ... (read in full...)

A guy keeps coming back when he doesn't want a relationship.

Q.   My ex and met online game site 3 years and we hit it off. However, after 5 months he broke it off because he felt like we don’t live within reasonable distance to support a relationship. We live 5 hours away from each other of driving distance. We ...

A.   30 July 2019: The universe sends us people to teach us lessons. If we don't learn the lesson, the universe will keep sending that person (or another similar person) until we finally learn the lesson. Unless you have left out something critical in your post, li... (read in full...)

I don't want to go back to my husband. I'm much happier away from him

Q.   I've posted here previously about issues with my "in-laws." My partner and I have 3 children together, and we've relocated near his family and issues arose with their boundaries and respect for me. I've gone with the kids to spend time with my ...

A.   28 July 2019: You sound like you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The kids MAY be happy being with their dad but, by the sound of it, they will not have a happy or healthy mum if you go back. Before your husband comes to visit, you need to discuss ... (read in full...)

We broke up but he said he wanted to be there for me but now he's acting insensitive and I'm confused

Q.   Hi all, My boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me because he moved to another country to pursue his MBA. The context is that we have been in a long distance for sometime in the middle as well. He was depressed at the time and not much was wo...

A.   28 July 2019: Sweetheart, don't take this personally. You obviously have a kind and caring nature. Sadly not everyone is the same. You need to remember that, just because you CHOSE to support someone through difficult times, does not mean they owe you the same... (read in full...)

My Baby Daddy never follows through on promises, how can I make him happy?

Q.   I have been with my baby Daddy boyfriend for almost two years. I have stayed with him when he was unemployed for 6 months, quit jobs and been broke. I have worked full time even when I was pregnant. We split up for two weeks because I finally ...

A.   27 July 2019: Well done for having the strength to end it with him. Now have the strength and pride to STAY away. I am seriously concerned for his poor daughter. ... (read in full...)

My partner is into beastiality

Q.   My partner is into beastialiy Not sure how to deal with this one? I have known for some time that my partner of 6 years has always watched porn and I can’t say I was thrilled about it but I put up with it. Now I’ve recently discovered that ...

A.   27 July 2019: Sending hugs. This must have been an awful shock for you and will probably stay with you for ever. I really feel for you. I totally agree with you that you SHOULD tell him EXACTLY why you want out of the relationship. And don't mince your wor... (read in full...)

What are the chances they are having an emotional affair?

Q.   We purchased a home for my son and his fiancée and their daughter with his trust. We have been renovating the home to have it ready for them by August . I noticed my husband becoming more and more distant and him working different hours than he ...

A.   26 July 2019: Do you really mean 5,000 msgs per month, or is that a typo and you meant to put 500? 5,000 would equate to nearly 170 messages EVERY day, including week-ends. Is that even possible? They would both need to be on their phones messaging nearly ... (read in full...)

Am I a creep for still feeling the same way about her that I did 2 years ago?

Q.   Hi all. Any advice about my situation is much appreciated. To give some context, I'm 16 years old and have recently finished GCSE's, soon to begin studying an animal management course in college. Over the course of school, me and my best friend s...

A.   26 July 2019: I have no idea why you would even think you are a "creep", just because you still feel for this girl. We cannot change our feelings but we CAN control our actions. "Creepy" would be would be something like pressing your attentions on her uninvited, ... (read in full...)

My partner is into beastiality

Q.   My partner is into beastialiy Not sure how to deal with this one? I have known for some time that my partner of 6 years has always watched porn and I can’t say I was thrilled about it but I put up with it. Now I’ve recently discovered that ...

A.   24 July 2019: Sorry, just re-read your post and realized you are not even married. Get out of there, girl. This is one sick individual. ... (read in full...)

My partner is into beastiality

Q.   My partner is into beastialiy Not sure how to deal with this one? I have known for some time that my partner of 6 years has always watched porn and I can’t say I was thrilled about it but I put up with it. Now I’ve recently discovered that ...

A.   24 July 2019: Now that you know, you will not be at peace until you make a decision about your future. If this sort of thing turns your stomach (as it sounds to do), then I doubt you will ever look at your husband the same again nor feel about him the same again. ... (read in full...)

My relationship is good, except for the sex.

Q.   Hello. I am in a relationship with a guy for 4 months now. He is a really nice person. We always connect on so many levels. He loves me and i love him too. He understands me and supports me. He is like a backbone. He is very romantic and very loyal ...

A.   24 July 2019: P.S. My own experience of penis size has been that men with smaller appendages tend to actually make BETTER lovers because they try harder. Many men with larger "gifts" think that is all that is needed to make a woman happy in bed - and that she ... (read in full...)

My relationship is good, except for the sex.

Q.   Hello. I am in a relationship with a guy for 4 months now. He is a really nice person. We always connect on so many levels. He loves me and i love him too. He understands me and supports me. He is like a backbone. He is very romantic and very loyal ...

A.   24 July 2019: Have to totally agree with Honeypie here. Big dick does not necessarily mean good sex, or vice versa. It's how they use it that matters. A big dick can actually be quite painful if used inconsiderately. You sound like you might both need to learn... (read in full...)

Its hard for me to be around my husband's friends when I don't feel accepted

Q.   Hello! I've been fixating on a problem lately and I was hoping to get some advice. My husband and I are very different -- which is great, and it's one of the many reasons why I fell in love with him. But because we're so different, our i...

A.   24 July 2019: I think your biggest problem here is not your husband's friends but your husband's attitude towards you. If he has a problem, he should be discussing it with you in private, not whining and making you look bad to his friends. It is immature and ... (read in full...)

I think I made a mistake getting married. Any advice?

Q.   Thanks for your opinions So, I'm feeling a bit frustrated. My husband lives a lavish lifestyle and he lives to impress his buddies. It's almost like he buys their friendship. Our mindsets are very different. He is from a different culture. Where ...

A.   24 July 2019: So he was already like this before you got married and you still married him? I have to ask, why are you surprised his behaviour is getting worse? Marriage does not change anyone. You cannot force anyone to change; they need to CHOOSE to want to ... (read in full...)

Why do I feel offended my BF wants to take an enhancement pill?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been working our arses off these past few months and have planned a dirty weekend away together in a few weeks. We’ve hardly seen each other in that time because we’ve been so busy with work, family and events like weddings ...

A.   24 July 2019: I suspect his intentions were good, although perhaps slightly misguided. He is trying to live the male fantasy: having sex over and over and over. Most women I know would soon get fed up of that, regardless of how horny they felt at the start. He is ... (read in full...)

My husband is abusive, where do I go from here?

Q.   I've been agonizing this for a while now. I love my husband more than I've loved any other man, and I see so much good in him, but is he abusive? He's never hit me. I don't think he would ever hit me, but he's really quick to anger. This is really ...

A.   24 July 2019: Sweetheart, this guy IS abusive. There is no question about that at all. Giving you a "hickey" is his way of marking his territory and showing other guys you have an "owner". Yelling and screaming at you is his way of keeping you under control.... (read in full...)

I'm attracted to a married man at work and need to rebuild the boundaries.

Q.   A gentleman in my workplace has been increasingly attentive. He is a little older and happily married. I love having a strong work ally I respect him and his commitment to his family. I have found myself having thoughts about him. At points I wond...

A.   24 July 2019: I would suggest putting yourself in his wife's shoes and asking yourself how comfortable you would if with the relationship you two have if YOU were the wife. I would suspect the answer would be "not very comfortable". I would also suggest ... (read in full...)

My Baby Daddy never follows through on promises, how can I make him happy?

Q.   I have been with my baby Daddy boyfriend for almost two years. I have stayed with him when he was unemployed for 6 months, quit jobs and been broke. I have worked full time even when I was pregnant. We split up for two weeks because I finally ...

A.   23 July 2019: Wow! What is it that made you choose this no-hoper to pin all your hopes and dreams on? What does he bring to your relationship? I can't spot ANYTHING good in your post for which HE is responsible - with the one tiny exception of being a sperm donor ... (read in full...)

I'm off to a spa weekend by myself, my boyfriend didn't want to come and he wants to stop me going too!

Q.   I have booked myself a spa break in a classy hotel as a treat and my boyfriend is saying its a dodgy place to go in a hot tub with strangers in a bikini for a woman. He kept saying men could try and chat me up. I don't understand this Im going ...

A.   21 July 2019: I am scratching my head, wondering why a hot tub of all places would be viewed by your boyfriend as such a pit of iniquity. Most people will be there in pairs/couples/groups and, while some men MAY give you the eye, I am at a loss to understand why ... (read in full...)

How Do I Begin Feeling Happy About Other People Success?

Q.   How do I begin being happy for others? Two years ago, I lost my job and got into a car accident. While I’m trying to get back on my feet, I see that my friends are moving out of my parents’ homes. I still live with mine. A majority of people I know ...

A.   21 July 2019: Life is a journey we all complete at our own pace and in our own time. It should NEVER be viewed as some sort of competition or race. Someone having or achieving something does not affect what YOU can do or achieve, except possibly to give you more ... (read in full...)

I'm single and pregnant, despite complications with the baby the father doesn't want to know about us.

Q.   So I was dating a guy for 2 months, going really well then he ended the relationship due to the fact he didn't like the fact I have children, 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant with his child, (implant broke) he said when he found out he ...

A.   21 July 2019: Awful situation to be in and I truly feel for you and your children, including the unborn baby. As Andie's Thoughts said, it is always important to use condoms alongside other contraception when in a new relationship, for protection from STIs as ... (read in full...)

I can't talk to my boyfriend

Q.   Hello, thanks for your advice My husband and I have been together for 3 years. There are things that he does that bother me. When I try to tell him to please take my feelings into consideration he tells me I'm bring controlling and he will neve...

A.   20 July 2019: My opinion: he has ZERO respect for you OR your feelings. He is still acting like a single man, even though he is married. I hope you don't have any children. I also hope you don't PLAN on having any children with this man-child. In your... (read in full...)

I don't understand why men cheat

Q.   Why do guys cheat? Is it because the sex is no good with me or is it because hes just a man?...

A.   20 July 2019: Some people (men AND women) will be in a fabulous relationship and still cheat, given the slightest opportunity. Others will be in a bad situation but will not cheat, no matter what. It's down to the morals of the individual concerned. The only ... (read in full...)

I'm unhappy in my marriage husband cheated may have gotten another woman pregnant

Q.   Hi all. I am unhappy in my marriage. I want to leave but I know my eldest son would feel so hurt. I can't take it anymore. My husband cheated after us being together for five years. He brought a child into our marriage and it's like I can't get over ...

A.   20 July 2019: Are you serious? The child's mother was having sex with two men at the time she became pregnant and NOBODY has done a DNA test to find out who the child's father is? Schrodinger's cat comes to mind. The cat could be alive, it could be dead. No... (read in full...)

Do I continue in my loveless marriage? I reconnected with my ex

Q.   I have been married about 21 years. The last 7 have been really bad, it is almost just like sharing a house with a roommate. My last kid will be moving out is September. This opens a new chapter. Do I continue this loveless relationship? ...

A.   20 July 2019: Yes, separate the marriage issue from the potential new girlfriend issue. You need to decide whether to continue your marriage as a stand-alone matter, not so that you can pursue this ex girlfriend. Have you talked to your wife? Is she, perhaps,... (read in full...)

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