Why does a guy have sex with 2 women in two sexual relationships? Has the first dropped the ball? Why is one not good enough?
Q. I'd like to know why and how a man can have a sexual relationship with two different women concurrently? Why isn't one enough? Does that mean he isn't attracted enough to the first one? Or doesn't love her enough? Or she isn't satisfying him? ...
A. 30 October 2019: Because he CAN. Because the two women involved ALLOW it to happen. Because either one can walk away and say "I'm done with being treated in this casual manner" but CHOOSE not to.
Got to love it when enablers ask why someone is treating them bad... (read in full...)
I have two dates and I'm not sure I want to go on a third, even though she is HOT!
Q. To start of Im a 24 year old male that hasnt been in a relationship for a long time. I still consider myself a kid at heart (or better yet immature). Ive recently went on two dates with a girl who asked me out and frankly I see no connection and s...
A. 30 October 2019: For someone who feels they are immature, you are showing a remarkable level of maturity in thinking through what is happening with this lady. You know yourself best. You sound to have good morals. Be guided by them.
If this situation was reversed... (read in full...)
I took my boyfriend back and he hurt me physically
Q. So here I am. I took him back after dumping him for emotional abuse. This time he told me that things were going to change. A week later he was back to his same verbal abuse. This time tho I stood up to him. His five year old daughter was screaming ...
A. 30 October 2019: MY question to YOU is, why did you think things would be any different this time? It is like re-reading a book and expecting a different ending. Just ridiculous and completely unrealistic.
He has now shown you that he is capable of physical... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets nasty when I don't do what he wants!
Q. My boyfriend gets nasty and angry if I don't spend the night staying over with him every weekend and refuses to come over to see me and take me out for the day because I wont do what he wants which is stayover and have sex all night and day. the ...
A. 30 October 2019: Is it you or him? It's YOU. YOU are allowing him to treat you this way. YOU keep going back for more, despite how he makes you feel. YOU are choosing to stay in this relationship. You can't change HIM but you CAN change YOU.
I can see what HE ... (read in full...)
3 guys are into me and I don't know what to do
Q. I'm sixteen years old and my whole life I haven't really had a real crush, and I don't think anyone except one guy has actually liked me. This year, I have three guys that all seem to really like me. Guy #1: K I've known K for forever. His broth...
A. 29 October 2019: What to do next? Enjoy the attention but never forget what you are worth.
None of these guys sounds like a great catch to me. Don't go out with any of them just to score points over your sister (I understand sibling rivalry but I fail to understa... (read in full...)
Husband’s Weight Gain and Lazy, Selfish Attitude is Ruining Our Marriage
Q. My husband and I have been married a little over a year and it has been extremely difficult. When we were dating he was so sweet and so generous, I honestly never imagined we would ever be struggling like we are now. I expected a marriage where we ...
A. 29 October 2019: If only we had a magic wand which could "fix" your marriage. Of course you know we DON'T. There are no painless short cuts here, nor any way of making your marriage any better without confrontation from you and severe resistance from your husband. ... (read in full...)
Am I settling to accept deep compatibility and companionship and a medium level of sexual attraction?
Q. Hi all, I am looking for some advice. Basically, my question is how attracted do you need to be to your partner for a relationship to last? I’ve seen a lot of people asking questions about not being attracted at all versus intense passion, but what ...
A. 27 October 2019: The bit of your post which stuck out for me was "I had never thought this was a problem before, then I was having a chat with my girlfriends". You need to do what feels right to YOU, not someone else. Your friends are not the ones in the ... (read in full...)
Should I take a stressful promotion to help pay off my debts or stay in a less stressful role and continue to struggle?
Q. This is a work question rather than a relationship one but I’m hoping that’s ok. I have been working in my current role for about 2 years now. It is a very niche industry, in fact mine is the only company in Scotland that I could do this job in. ...
A. 27 October 2019: Only you can decide on what is right for YOU. It all depends on how strong you feel and how long you want to struggle paying off your debts. Also, if you are prepared to go through a bit of (relatively) short term pain for the sake of better ... (read in full...)
Are we really friends?
Q. I’m soo confused I really need help! I’ve been talking to a long distance guy for a while. He challenges me really hard and normally I wouldn’t like that but there’s something when he does it I get mad but I still like it. He has more everything ...
A. 26 October 2019: Sweetheart, you are setting yourself up for endless pain and disappointment. It is like watching a car crash about to happen - horrendous and scary yet inevitable.
Let me tell you what will happen when/if you meet up with him in person. You are ... (read in full...)
I want to shut the door on my affair for all the right reasons but can't seem to
Q. I know I’m going down the wrong path but I can’t find the strength to stop it. I had an affair that was on/off for 10 months with a former colleague. We were both married. I ended it both times it stopped. The second time I went as far as getting a ...
A. 26 October 2019: Can you imagine asking your husband if he is ok with this "friendship"? I bet you can't, just as your lover wouldn't ask his wife. Can you imagine if you DID ask them, what their reaction would be? Can you image how they would feel? What if the ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about where we stand even though she said she's not ready for anything serious
Q. when we first met but that all ended because it was basically my own doing. Recently we hooked up after talking for a few months. Everything just seemed right. We kissed held hands and I made a slight mistake in bringing up relationships. S...
A. 25 October 2019: Unless you want to get badly hurt, you need to LISTEN and to ACCEPT what this lady is telling you. She is NOT looking for a relationship. She is enjoying being single. Stop pushing for a relationship and stop having sex with her. That is just ... (read in full...)
Is there a way out without destroying several lives?
Q. My former college girlfriend, who I have never stopped loving, contacted me at the end of August. Said she had left her husband of five years and planned to divorce him. We spent Labor Day weekend together at my house. After the holiday, she decided ...
A. 25 October 2019: You need to think this through very carefully before doing or saying ANYTHING. You have absolutely ZERO proof that this baby is yours so you can't go around throwing out allegations.
There are a lot of "unknowns" in this story. Given your ex'... (read in full...)
What is going on? I don't want to be the first one to bring it up.
Q. I don't understand what is going on between my friend and I. We have been friends for almost a year, but we fight a lot every week when it comes to misunderstandings over text. I always end up coming to him and we talk again (mainly 'cause when we ...
A. 23 October 2019: Sweetheart, listen to me: when someone tells you that you are never going to be their girlfriend, you need to believe them. He has "friend zoned" you and that is where yo are going to stay. Why are you so desperate for him to change his mind?
... (read in full...)
I want to tell my boyfriend how my past has affected me as to who I am but I don't know where to start
Q. Hey there, I have been with my current partner now for coming on to 8 months, he treats me very well and I am very much in love with him He has opened up to me before about the way he feels and some personal things he has had to deal with before, ...
A. 22 October 2019: Perhaps you could mention it "casually" to start the ball rolling, something like "I'm sorry I get anxious/stressed, but I didn't have the best childhood" and see if he asks for more information. If he does, then you can tell him as much as or ... (read in full...)
Accidentally held up an Ambulance and can’t forgive myself!
Q. Tifu accidentally held up an ambulance Accidentally held up an ambulance, feel awful So today as a fairly new driver, I was driving along in the left hand lane, in rush hour. traffic in the right lane queued up at some temporary lights that on...
A. 22 October 2019: Oh sweetheart, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. I understand that as a fairly inexperienced, not to mention nervous, driver, you WANT to get it 100% right, but NOBODY EVER does. Every situation is different. Everyone occasionally misreads ... (read in full...)
Why didnt my colleague want me going to his house?
Q. I hsd been part of a group of people out and about patrolling anf one of the men had lent me suitcase but it took a bit of time to get it back to him simply because he didn't respond. I eventually contacted his wife to who agreed for me to drop ...
A. 20 October 2019: His mates could be winding you up, or they could know he has a crush on you. It doesn't really matter either way because, even if the latter is true, you would have more sense than to get involved with a married man, wouldn't you?
I have to agree... (read in full...)
Why is my former co worker being like this?
Q. became friends with a co worker at work who I like. she talked to me quite a lot and the conversations seem to flow well. I was sad to hear she was going after three months of being with the company. was in kitchen making a tea and said to her, was ...
A. 20 October 2019: As she has gone back to college, I am guessing this ex colleague is much younger than you. I suspect she has now reconnected with her friends at college and has moved on from her working stint with your company.
I do have to say that I find it ... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend's messages gave me the impression he doesn't care. I don't know where to go from here
Q. I have been in a long distance situation shop with a man for almost 3 months. Before he went away we were seeing each other in person for 6 weeks. He said he was going away for 2 weeks and he has been away for almost 3 months. We have not had any ...
A. 19 October 2019: Apart from the fact that neither of you has been married or had children, do you have anything else in common? Why are you clinging onto this "non-relationship"? You went out for 6 WEEKS and he has been away for double that time.
Sweet... (read in full...)
My partner says we should be having sex 4 times a day
Q. My partner of 11 yrs told me we should be having sex four times a day. I don't think that's very realistic. Is it time to release him to seek other people who want to spend the time he wants in sexual activity?...
A. 19 October 2019: Does he put pressure on you to have sex 4 times a day? Does he make you feel guilty/inadequate/uncaring if you refuse? Has sex with him become a chore rather than a pleasure?
If the answer to any of the above is affirmative, then you probably... (read in full...)
Should I ask my brother in law why he refuses to go on vacations with our family?
Q. My brother-in-law, Sean, is extremely close to his nieces and nephew (his brother and I are the parents of his oldest niece and nephew). He takes them to all the fun places (the Aquarium, the zoo, Chuck E Cheese, different parks, the movie theater, ...
A. 16 October 2019: I think you should be grateful your son and daughter have such a loving, hands-on uncle and leave him to take the vacations he knows are best for him. How he chooses to spend his leisure time is none of your business.
To me, it sounds like he ... (read in full...)
Why would my ex lie and tell me he had no family when he did?
Q. I dated my ex for about a year, it was a year full of ups and downs, tiring for me mentally. We always had alot of problems, but i was naive enough to be manipulated by him because he's my first boyfriend. Basically, when i first met him, he told me ...
A. 16 October 2019: Well done for sticking to your guns and not taking him back. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there. You should be grateful for the argument which finished the relationship and showed your ex in his true colours.
I totally agree with your suspicio... (read in full...)
How do I deal with an assertion of cheating after the death of my s/o?
Q. In Janury 2017, my beloved girlfriend suddenly passed away unexpectedly. We had been dating for nearly six years at this point, and serious talks about moving in together and our future were underway. It took me a few months of hard grief to ge...
A. 16 October 2019: My impression of the other guy? Sounds like someone who so desperately wanted to be "part of the group/conversation" that he went completely over the top. Perhaps he WISHED he had had the opportunity to have sex with your girlfriend. Perhaps he had ... (read in full...)
His expectations have me confused and wondering about him! Any advice appreciated!
Q. Hello and thanks So my man has been confusing me a lot. We visit each other 3 times per year we in a LDR for approximately 3 years. I love him but I see many different shades to him. He’s impatient, demanding and has a temper. He also expects ...
A. 16 October 2019: Any advice? Absolutely. Look in a mirror and ask yourself why you think this is all you are worth. Then ask yourself what you get out of this relationship and why you profess to love someone who treats you so badly.
I'm glad you have stopped ... (read in full...)
Is my mother in law secretly racist?
Q. Ever since I dated my husband he would tell me all these crazy stories how his mom tried to hook him up with fat white chicks (preachers daughters) in the past. I’m not white and I think she hates me because I’m not. She’s one of those people who ...
A. 15 October 2019: You've heard the saying "the pot calling the kettle black" I assume? It's not racist; it's about someone accusing someone of something of which they themselves are guilty, as in this case.
I have not even met you, and know next to nothing ... (read in full...)
I'm having a tough time with my new, older boyfriend.
Q. Hi There is this guy at work and for some time now he has deffinately been trying to chat me up ,the thing is im on work experience. He is probably in his 40's.A few weeks ago we went out and it got more serious and eventually soon after we ended up...
A. 14 October 2019: I'm a little puzzled by your statement that you are on "work experience". When we have students at work on "work experience", they are usually 14/15 and with us for a couple of weeks maximum. Are you actually younger than your profile? How long have ... (read in full...)
Am I taking too great of a risk dating a twice divorced man?
Q. I'm dating a man who's been divorced twice. He is currently 40 and upon asking him, he said the first time around, it was because they both got married very young (I think at age 21) and they stayed together a very long time. He said they were ...
A. 12 October 2019: As we get older, most of us acquire "baggage". As divorce has become easier to obtain and more accepted socially, it's not unusual these days for people to have been married and divorced more than once.
There are always two sides to every st... (read in full...)
Could you explain his behaviour?
Q. Theres a guy at work who I initially fancied. We flirted quite a lot and he seemed like a nice guy. I thought he was really into me as the signs were obvious. However these past few weeks he seems to have changed. He still flirts (a lot) but he ...
A. 11 October 2019: Apart from it never being a good idea to get involved with someone with whom you work, let me ask you a question: are you desperate? This is a genuine question, not meant as an insult.
This guy is obviously a total jerk. Why would you even con... (read in full...)
I need help to get my girlfriend back.
Q. Hie I broke up with my ex girlfriend 7 months ago but I can get over her because I still love her but she moved on with another guy and when ever the guy see me either talking to my ex or standing with her he tell my friends that am a threat. I ...
A. 11 October 2019: I have to assume you broke up with her for a reason. Has anything changed? Is that reason no longer valid? Do you REALLY want her back or is it just that you don't want anyone else to have her? Or did you have your eye on a different girlfriend but ... (read in full...)
Was I too harsh on my boyfriend when he suggested anal sex?
Q. I flipped out at my boyfriend for suggesting we have anal sex and now I feel really guilty. Did I overreact? We’re both 17. Last night he was round at my house and we were about to have normal sex but I realised I’d run out of condoms. So instead we ...
A. 9 October 2019: I suspect he was probably repeating what he has heard in porn films or heard his mates say. The fact that he has apologized over and over shows he did not mean to upset you and is probably as mortified by your reaction as you were by the suggestion ... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable for not wanting to spend any more time with my friend?
Q. This could end up being a long rant, but I will try to not give TOO many details. Basically I have had this friend for around 15 years. I first got to know her when I worked behind a bar, she would come in with her friends for lunch and we got ...
A. 9 October 2019: What do you get from this friendship?
I ask because I have a very close friend who can be a bit like yours. She works alone from home so has nobody to vent to during her normal working day. As soon as we meet up or get on the phone, which we... (read in full...)
I'm ready to walk away from my marriage because I'm tired of walking on eggshells
Q. I’ve been married for almost three years, I’ve noticed as the few years have gone on my wife has begun to speak down to me, be condescending in arguments, and tells me I do things wrong (like simple things like cleaning or doing dishes or laundry) ...
A. 9 October 2019: My gut instinct is that she sounds tired and frustrated. Does she work long hours? Do you work as well? Do you split the chores equally? Do you do things without being asked or do you make out you are doing her a favour by doing the dishes or taking ... (read in full...)
Am I being an egomaniac or does this matter?
Q. Hi, I am a 38 year old female and have been dating a 45 year old man for 4 months. In that time 2.5 months has been long distance. We were recently having a conversation and I mentioned that a long time ago I was dating someone who a lot of people ...
A. 9 October 2019: Wow! Calm down, dear. She's his ex for a reason. Just as YOU will become his ex for a reason - probably your insecurity. You and she are not in competition. She's been there, done that, it didn't work out so she has moved on. Doesn't matter who ... (read in full...)
Is it ever OK to meet an online contact for sex?
Q. Is it ever Ok to meet an online date for a hook up? I am not looking for anything serious but have been online dating for about 6 months. This one guy who favourited me and I was messaging gave me his whatsapp and keeps asking me to come over being ...
A. 8 October 2019: Sweetheart, just because he "favourites" you (I am constantly learning new uses of existing vocabulary!) does not mean he can be trusted or you know anything about him. My guess - actually, call it suspicion - would be he is practiced at picking up ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my girlfriend's crazy accusations against me?
Q. My girlfriend nearly every day accuses me of “changing/ switching” places with “imaginary” friends of mine that look just like me. This of course is not happening at all and I am beginning to lose my patience with her false accusations. She wi...
A. 7 October 2019: What are you getting from this relationship, apart from abuse? Your girlfriend sounds like she needs professional help. This is not something YOU can fix or change.
You have two options: carry on living in an abusive relationship or get out and ... (read in full...)
Why does my friend get upset when I call him "buddy"?
Q. The other day I called my guy friend, “buddy”. He did not take this well and said not to call him that. But we have been friends for years. Why is this such a problem? ...
A. 7 October 2019: Why did you not ask him at the time? Only HE knows the real reason he objects to being called that name.
Perhaps it reminds him of someone he didn't like? Perhaps he dislikes people using generic terms instead of his name. Perhaps he just doe... (read in full...)
Am I too old at 54 to meet any men who will want anything more than sex?
Q. I’m recently dating after a divorce . He was interested in much younger women all the time we were together and had now found one and is happy . I took quite a while on my own and felt I’d really like to meet someone special one day. However I’m ...
A. 7 October 2019: Well, many men and women live VERY happily without partners so, if you do fail to find someone suitable, it's not the end of the world. You CAN have a fulfilled life without a partner.
That aside, you are NOT past your sell-by date or any such... (read in full...)
If a man is married or in long-term relationship, is it ever appropriate to have female friends? If so, what are the guidelines?
Q. Hi, I recently posted a question about my relationship with a woman, S, whom I have been meeting with while I have been in a long-term relationship with T. Here is the post: http://www.dearcupid.o...
A. 6 October 2019: Well, as your "real" relationship is allegedly with T, why don't you ask HER how she feels about your "friendship" and let her tell you under what circumstances she could accept it? If T has anything about her, she will give you a response which ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my frustration over my friendship with my ex?
Q. My partner and I were together for 6 years we aren't together anymore but remain close friends and still very much in one another's lives. When we were together she let me down a lot, she would lie, she cheated once, she would disappoint me as she ...
A. 6 October 2019: You have to love people who get into a relationship with someone who doesn't "tick all the boxes" and think they can change them into what they want them to be. Sweetheart, it only happens if the other person WANTS to change and, even then, it ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend of 3 years that I've been faking my orgasms?
Q. Hi. I've been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years. I'm ashamed to admit it but I've been faking orgasms. He has managed to give me real ones periodically but it isn't the norm. I did it because I wanted to keep him happy and make him feel good. ...
A. 5 October 2019: Although this is nothing to do with the question you ask, alarm bells ring for me for two reasons: (1) you felt you had to pretend to orgasm so he wouldn't leave you and (2) the fact he gives up if you take "too long" to orgasm. Is he that selfish ... (read in full...)
I want to end my relationship with a married man
Q. I am in a relationship with a marrired man for past 8months. We had known for last three years. I am truly in love with him though its wrong. I don't have any intention to destroy his beautiful family. Hes got a heart of gold. I wanted to end the ...
A. 1 October 2019: What should you do? Phone his wife and ask HER. SHE will tell you what you should do.
... (read in full...)
My ex has my stuff. How long do I wait to contact him?
Q. Dear cupid.. my ex and were together for 2 years. He broke up with me and then slowly crept back into my life then I cought him perusing a relationship with another woman whiles telling me sweet nothings. Well when I found out I cut him loose I ...
A. 1 October 2019: The sooner, the better, so that you can move on with your life. In your shoes, I would not go round myself for it; I would get a trusted friend or family member to contact your ex and make arrangements to collect the stuff so that you don't even ... (read in full...)
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