Is it normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex?
Q. is is normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex because that is how my boyfriend is and I give him lots of sex five times a day every weekend. I feel like his constant pressure is starting to put me off him and sex ...
A. 11 September 2019: Sweetheart, you are being used and abused. Trust me, this will only get worse.
NOBODY should make you do ANYTHING you do not want to do. It is YOUR body. He is already hurting you and this WILL get worse.
PLEASE open your eyes and see you are ... (read in full...)
I’m still trying to understand why she did what she did 26 years ago!
Q. Hi I was married more than 26 years ago. The problem troubling me is that when I knew my wife then, she was going out with someone whom she will never and can't get married to. She didn't inform me of her status then, and we went out. Only after ...
A. 10 September 2019: P.S. You've been married to her for 26 years and still don't know why she kept you waiting but you expect a bunch of strangers who have never even met her to know? We are AGONY AUNTS, not PSYCHICS.
And don't try to turn this round as women ha... (read in full...)
I’m still trying to understand why she did what she did 26 years ago!
Q. Hi I was married more than 26 years ago. The problem troubling me is that when I knew my wife then, she was going out with someone whom she will never and can't get married to. She didn't inform me of her status then, and we went out. Only after ...
A. 10 September 2019: You KNEW she had a boyfriend yet CHOSE to stay with her and wait for her to give him up, which she eventually did. You question what SHE did yet you CHOSE to stay with her and marry her. WHY did you not walk away if it hurt you so much as you ... (read in full...)
Does she see me a just a work colleague or a friend as well?
Q. a female student has started working at a company. I work for and has been with us for a month and a half. she’s funny, a bit of a barbie and not the brightest bulb in the lamp. despite this, she’s well liked by the staff. since she has started ...
A. 9 September 2019: I wonder why the female co-worker doesn't like you. I bet I can have a good guess.
You came on this forum asking for advice. That is all you got - advice. You can take it on board or you can completely ignore it. It makes not a jot of differen... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex?
Q. is is normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex because that is how my boyfriend is and I give him lots of sex five times a day every weekend. I feel like his constant pressure is starting to put me off him and sex ...
A. 9 September 2019: Demanding sex in an aggressive manner is NEVER acceptable. You already KNOW this is not "normal". Why do you tolerate it?
You have all the answers to your situation in your post:
"I have never had a boyfriend before with this problem"
"I fee... (read in full...)
My fiancé is being mean and ridiculous!
Q. Hey and thanks So my fiancé and I were planning a trip together. We had a disagreement and he said some nasty stuff to me. Called me names and actually threatened to rip my mouth off. I was shocked ! I couldn’t believe this man I’m supposed...
A. 9 September 2019: Seriously? You need advice on this? Sweetheart, he is a knob. Is this how you want to spend your married life?
Cancel your flight. If you lose money on it, see it as an investment in your future. Then sort out your living arrangements before h... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel let down by my friends?
Q. I've just had my 60th birthday. I feel very let down by 2 friends.Both sent me a brief text message on the day (one just said "happy birthday!" and nothing else). One of them hasn't phoned me or sent me a card (he's a male friend I've known f...
A. 9 September 2019: As someone who doesn't attach much importance to birthdays ("big" or otherwise), I am puzzled that a 60 year old man is that focused on a birthday. If I was one of your friends, you would have got a text from me if I remembered. The likelihood is I ... (read in full...)
Dating someone with aspergers
Q. I've been dating someone with mild to mid-level aspergers for a couple months now. The first few dates were great. He was very engaging, talkative, and passionate. However, the end of the date was always super awkward. It's like he wanted to kiss me ...
A. 8 September 2019: Thank you Chigirl for your very informative and enlightening posts. I have long suspected I have AS but, over time, I have learned my own coping mechanisms (not tested as, back when I was a child, you tended to just get labelled as "a bit odd").
... (read in full...)
Dating someone with aspergers
Q. I've been dating someone with mild to mid-level aspergers for a couple months now. The first few dates were great. He was very engaging, talkative, and passionate. However, the end of the date was always super awkward. It's like he wanted to kiss me ...
A. 8 September 2019: Everyone is different. Everyone is unique. This includes people who suffer with Aspergers or any other condition. Someone telling you what THEIR experience is of someone with Aspergers will not necessarily help you to understand how it affects your ... (read in full...)
Why does my former boss/lover want to stay in touch?
Q. I had an affair with my boss. We are both married. I’ve worked for him for 7 years and I’d say emotionally it’s been going on since year 1 or 2. Physically, it started nearly two years ago. Within 8 months of it starting physically, I ended it (for ...
A. 8 September 2019: Why? Because he is hoping that, somewhere further down the line, you will weaken again and pick up where you left off. YOU know that is not a good idea. You have higher morals than he does.
Is the fact he keeps pursuing you feeding your ego? Per... (read in full...)
What can I put in a letter to my ex to make me feel better?
Q. A while ago, I broke up with my first boyfriend after a 18 month long relationship. We, unfortunately, went to the same school and so I had to be around him for a year. Within 3 months, he found a new girl, who acted very oddly towards me, fairly ...
A. 8 September 2019: Oh sweetheart, you get over this by acknowledging he no longer wants to be part of your life or have you as part of his. At least not for the time being. Accept this and realize this is more about HIM than about YOU. Also accept that you cannot ... (read in full...)
Does she see me a just a work colleague or a friend as well?
Q. a female student has started working at a company. I work for and has been with us for a month and a half. she’s funny, a bit of a barbie and not the brightest bulb in the lamp. despite this, she’s well liked by the staff. since she has started ...
A. 6 September 2019: These are YOUR words:
"I’m lucky to even get two words out of her, the problem is this. when she is in the same area as I am, she will walk away and doesn’t say anything to me. and runs as far away as she can, as though I’ve got a disease.... (read in full...)
Does she see me a just a work colleague or a friend as well?
Q. a female student has started working at a company. I work for and has been with us for a month and a half. she’s funny, a bit of a barbie and not the brightest bulb in the lamp. despite this, she’s well liked by the staff. since she has started ...
A. 6 September 2019: You're in your 30s (if your profile is correct). Why do you need to add some pretty young thing (whose intelligence you are quite disparaging about) to your social media friendship list?
She has made it quite clear that she is not interest... (read in full...)
I’m still trying to understand why she did what she did 26 years ago!
Q. Hi I was married more than 26 years ago. The problem troubling me is that when I knew my wife then, she was going out with someone whom she will never and can't get married to. She didn't inform me of her status then, and we went out. Only after ...
A. 6 September 2019: Just when you think you have met every sort of person out there, along comes a guy whose excuse for cheating for over a quarter of a century is that his wife made him wait for her for a year when they were dating. Are you saying that, because your ... (read in full...)
Do you think he’s met someone else or just gone off me or is he busy?
Q. So I'm very confused and wondering what you would do? Should I just forget him and move on (I dont want to) or ask him where we stand or do nothing? Or any other advise... So I met this guy we just hit it off...I'm newly quite single and not s...
A. 5 September 2019: Sweetheart, you need to get a life away from this guy and get on with it. Stop making him the centre of your universe, especially so early in the relationship, otherwise, if he has any sense (and it does sound like he has that), alarm bells will ... (read in full...)
How do I be there for both my fiancee and my soon to be stepson?
Q. Am I doing something wrong??? I am engaged to an amazing woman, who is also a mother. I also am a woman, no kids though. Our relationship for the most part is beautiful. We are approaching 3 years and an upcoming wedding. The problem is my fiancee ...
A. 4 September 2019: You appear to be dealing with TWO petulant children, not one - your fiancee AND her son.
Her son's behaviour is no surprise at all. He is being a typical teenager. He will not tolerate insincerity (his mother pretending to be a caring parent f... (read in full...)
"Only time will tell." A good or bad sign for us getting back together?
Q. I have a boyfriend who broke up with me because we never had the time to see each other which was true but I want him back no matter what it take I’ve decided to change the things I needed to to be the best me possible and I asked him will there ...
A. 3 September 2019: Think of all the other ways he COULD have answered that question but chose not to.
He COULD have said a straight "yes" but that would have been offering you something he was not sure he could offer. He COULD have said "probably" or "I can see ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship work and last if it began with an affair?
Q. It’s messy it’s complicated but I need advice. I started working in a local bar about 8 months ago. I’m 24 and when I started working there I met a man he’s 40. It started as friendly. He would always advise me on customers and always told me ...
A. 3 September 2019: Perhaps you should discuss this with his wife? Have you tried putting yourself in her shoes for just a moment? She takes their kids to see their grandparents a couple of nights a week and her feckless husband jumps straight into bed with the first ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend might be married. What should I do?
Q. I think my new boyfriend might be married and I have no idea how to bring up the subject. We've been together for almost three months and while things have been good, some of his behaviour has always been a bit off. Nothing I can put my finger on, ...
A. 31 August 2019: Are you seriously asking that last question? How long would you propose to wait? You need to know NOW.
You've been going out for 3 months. In that time, have you not been to his house? Have you not met any of his friends or family or work col... (read in full...)
Do I gain weight to please him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We have a child together. When I was pregnant he told me that I better get the weight off after delivery. He said “fat girls don’t get love”. So I did it. I lost all the baby weight within 11 ...
A. 30 August 2019: Well, I hope he looks like Brad Pitt, given his demands on YOU. I have a feeling he doesn't though.
I have a question: why do you have such low self esteem that you allow him to dictate to you in this way?
He knows the way to control you is t... (read in full...)
Wife lied, she wasn't a virgin. What do you think? What should I do?
Q. Ever since my wife and i met she has always been a very conservative virgin girl, her choice and she was very string that it was important to her. I knew she had a BF before me but she insisted she was a virgin and it was very important to her. This ...
A. 30 August 2019: Have you considered she may have regretted losing her virginity to this guy and, for that reason, decided to become a "born-again virgin"? Maybe she hated the experience and decided she was not ready to repeat it, hence pretending she was still a ... (read in full...)
Never thought there's something I wouldn't want us to talk about but his talk of a dramatic event unsettled me
Q. My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years and we love spending time together and talking about all kinds of stuff, there are no taboos. I have noticed that some friends of mine are so terrified by issues related to global warming. ...
A. 30 August 2019: It is sensible and natural to fear something which could harm you and your loved ones. It is ingrained in every living creature, animals and humans alike. It is what our survival instincts are based upon. We would all be extinct by now if we had no ... (read in full...)
I get the attention but come off as disinterested
Q. Hi everyone, I have problems finding a girlfriend. I know what the cause is, I just don't know how to fix it. I have a hard time communicating with others. I find it difficult to pick up social cues. It's not that I'm shy, I just don't have the p...
A. 30 August 2019: Recognizing your goal is the first step in reaching it. You know what you want to achieve so now you need to put in place a plan to get there.
Although your post sounds a little brutal when you say "I won't approach somebody unless I need somethin... (read in full...)
Should I talk to my friend about her childish behaviour?
Q. one of my friends can be really child like at times , acts silly , quite embarrassing and doesn't seem to think that her behaviour is child like . part of me thinks I should talk to her about this , but I feel she may not respond in the way I wou...
A. 30 August 2019: Sweetheart, while it's good that you feel empathy for your friend, it is not good for you to be seeing her purely for that reason, and because you have few other friends. You SHOULD look forward to seeing friends. It should not be a chore, as it ... (read in full...)
I need to end my marriage but I don't know if I have the strength to move on
Q. I need to end my marriage. But I do not know if I have the strength to move on. My husband has cheated on me 3 years before we got married. We were technically on a break but still had sex so I forgave him. He is the only man I have ever been with ...
A. 28 August 2019: There is nothing stupid or shameful about discovering you have a spouse who cheats on you. HE is the one who should hang his head in shame for putting what is in his trousers before his marriage, his wife and his children.
You don't mention ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't anyone care?
Q. Is it me or everyone else? I can’t take it anymore, nobody cares at all. I feel let down by my friends. I am 100% sure nobody cares. I am not being negative, I am not in some bad time in life. But every event that happens it causes me stress when I ...
A. 28 August 2019: Sadly I cannot disagree with your observations. People seem to have lost the ability to have proper conversations these days. If you observe a typical group "interaction", it will consist of something like:
Person A: Me, me, me.
Person B:... (read in full...)
I feel so overwhelmed but I don't want to run away
Q. I feel overwhelmed and I don't know how to juggle everything and give it my best shot. Basically, in just under 2 weeks, I'm having my first driving test. I passed my theory on the third try. If I don't pass this practical test, I have to renew my...
A. 28 August 2019: +A driving test is simply your chance to show what you have learned and to prove you can navigate roads and traffic in a safe manner. You will not be asked to do anything you have not done time and time again with your instructor. The examiner ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappy in my marriage and want out. Should I go for my friend that loves me?
Q. I want to leave my husband of 2 years. We arent compatible at all. We almost doesnt have any similarity and fight a lot. We have a year old son together. Aunties and uncles here adviced me many times not to marry him and leave him but i dont have ...
A. 27 August 2019: Your posts make my head hurt.You spend your life bumbling from one disaster to another, asking for advice but never taking it.
I'm not even going to waste time or effort on giving you any advice, but I would just point out a couple of things f... (read in full...)
Should I pursue a formal, legal route over what happened to me when I was younger?
Q. I need help please, about something that has confused me for 36 years and which I am only now able to speak about. When I was 15 I agreed to have sex with an 18 year old male. This has, one way or another, plagued me all my life. I am now...
A. 26 August 2019: Oh sweetheart. I am so sorry for what you went through, not only in terms of the sexual abuse (which it most definitely was) but also the unhealthy home environment which you had to tolerate as a child. I only realized when I actually got to the end ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship develop with a girl from a different country I’ve only met once?
Q. Hi all. I was at my friend’s wedding last weekend here in the Uk and I met one of his friend’s at a house party after. She was from the States and we must have spent about 4 hours talking. In my mind we got on really well and she has been on my mind ...
A. 26 August 2019: Wow! You have met someone once, talked to them for 4 hours and are already hearing wedding bells? You do know Four Weddings and a Funeral was fiction, not a documentary, don't you? I am kidding of course, but you really need to take a step back and ... (read in full...)
My husband says my parents control me because I let them. They say I dishonor them
Q. I love my parents and I know that my parents want the best for me but they are so controlling and it is annoying. I posted a couple days ago about being 30 years old without a career. I was not doing well in my previous job in insurance sales so I ...
A. 24 August 2019: LISTEN to your husband. What he says makes sense.
You are an adult. You are a wife. You are a mother. You are MORE than, simply, a daughter. Stop acting like that is your one role in life. There are more important roles for you now. If your par... (read in full...)
When a woman gets older does she just need to accept that her partner doesn't find her hot?
Q. I’m around 50 and try to take good care of my appearance . My partner seems pretty disinterested in me yet is very interested and turned on by women in porn in their 20s. I understand that self esteem in an internal thing and that’s not really what ...
A. 24 August 2019: I think you need to separate porn and sex. They are two completely different things. Porn is easy. It requires minimal effort to achieve satisfaction. It does not require intimacy. The fact your partner is looking at 20 year olds in porn only means ... (read in full...)
My partner has quit spending time with our babies to meet his ex behind my back and has photos of her in his phone
Q. I am currently off from work and school so I have been dedicating myself to housework and the kids so I have been more aware of things. Lately my partner has been coming home really late which he randomly starts doing but it imeadiatly sets off the ...
A. 24 August 2019: You have a gut instinct for good reason. You need to listen to it when it tells you something is not right. Also, you know your man well enough to know when he is acting "differently", hence why you checked his phone. What you found only confirmed ... (read in full...)
Am I being an overprotective cat mom or is it cruel to leave my little kitten at home alone when I go to work?
Q. Hey i just bought the most divine cutest himalayan kitten, he is 2 months old and has been taken away from his mummy and daddy, and his other 2 brothers in the litter my friend and her husband took the 2 brothers! I absolutely ADORE him he is the ...
A. 23 August 2019: Congratulations on your new addition. It's nice to see someone trying to do the best for their pet.
If this was an adult cat, I would probably say it will be fine and will sleep most of the time you are out. However, as it is a kitten, being al... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't seem to understand that I want more from the LDR
Q. Hi, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since two years. It is mostly a long distance thing. Previously, like every relationship it used to be very romantic, but now it seems the spark is gone. He is no longer romantic, he no longer ...
A. 23 August 2019: Sweetheart, listen to me. What are you GETTING from this relationship? Your post contains a long list of things you are NOT getting. The only thing you ARE getting is anxiety and dissatisfaction and pain.
It takes TWO people to make a relation... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend is forcing me into going on a trip with his friends. We were supposed to go alone. What should I do?
Q. I have a hard dilemma! My boyfriend and I were supposed to be taking a week vacation together, just him and I. But he just went ahead and changed those plans on me. Apparently his friends are going to be at this resort where we were planning to go. ...
A. 22 August 2019: Could you, perhaps, compromise and say you will meet with these friends for a day or two if you can have the rest of your holiday as just the two of you, as originally planned?
Just because they are/were swingers, does not mean they will jump on ... (read in full...)
Nervous about returning to abusive husband
Q. When my husband gets jealous he sometimes assaults me and becomes very intimidating and threatening to me and I get very scared. It’s even worse when he’s been drinking alcohol. I have been with him for nearly 8 years and he had jealous rages wi...
A. 22 August 2019: One of the biggest mistakes people in relationships make is thinking they can change the things about their partner they don't like and turn them into what they would like them to be. I have to assume there are things about him you like, otherwise ... (read in full...)
He's ready to settle, but I love having my own life. What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years. We met at uni. When I met him, I had just come home from New Zealand. It was the 3rd country I’d worked in in three years, and I was ready to settle in one place for a while and study. We were ...
A. 22 August 2019: A wise friend of mine once told me that she believed we settle down with the person who is there AT THE RIGHT TIME. Of course we have to like them as well but timing is one of the crucial factors.
Age is irrelevant. You are ready to settle d... (read in full...)
Will he come back to me again after taking space?
Q. I met a wonderful guy a few months ago and we hit it off immediately. He told me that I was everything he ever wanted in a relationship and I felt the same. He has a young son (3) with his ex girlfriend and I was introduced to him a couple weeks ago ...
A. 22 August 2019: See my previous response. It still stands.
Whether he intends to hurt you or not, he IS hurting you. His indecision about whether he wants to be with you is unlikely to one day magically turn into "happy ever after". It is much more likely t... (read in full...)
Do I leave a 10 year relationship? Or settle for her?
Q. Hello all. This post is as much venting as asking for others input. The sad truth is that I have nobody to talk to. So sorry if it is long. The big life question I have is: break up with my girlfriend, or settle for her. It is more than just...
A. 22 August 2019: Brilliant! Another poster who gives one impression in his first post then a completely different impression in his follow-up to justify staying put.
You remind me so much of a work colleague who, when I asked her why she had put up with serious ... (read in full...)
30 years old without a degree and a career. I feel like such a failure
Q. I am feeling so depressed. As a child growing up, I always wanted to be a doctor. When selecting my courses my parents told me I should do business management instead. I started pursing business management but had no passion for it. I was accepted ...
A. 21 August 2019: How can 3 wonderful kids be viewed as a failure? I assume there is also a wonderful husband/partner in all this, who you don't mention, even in passing? Stop judging yourself in terms of a degree and a career and start looking at the wonderful ... (read in full...)
Nervous about returning to abusive husband
Q. When my husband gets jealous he sometimes assaults me and becomes very intimidating and threatening to me and I get very scared. It’s even worse when he’s been drinking alcohol. I have been with him for nearly 8 years and he had jealous rages wi...
A. 20 August 2019: So you knew he had anger and jealousy issues and you STILL married him? Why?
And why, having got away from him, would you want to go back to being abused?
There is so much you have not said that I do wonder about the larger picture. ... (read in full...)
Do I leave a 10 year relationship? Or settle for her?
Q. Hello all. This post is as much venting as asking for others input. The sad truth is that I have nobody to talk to. So sorry if it is long. The big life question I have is: break up with my girlfriend, or settle for her. It is more than just...
A. 20 August 2019: Wow! You are seriously considering bringing children into this already abusive and volatile situation? Aside from the practicalities of having children with someone who doesn't even touch you let alone have sex with you, how could you protect your ... (read in full...)
Will he come back to me again after taking space?
Q. I met a wonderful guy a few months ago and we hit it off immediately. He told me that I was everything he ever wanted in a relationship and I felt the same. He has a young son (3) with his ex girlfriend and I was introduced to him a couple weeks ago ...
A. 17 August 2019: I suspect he probably WILL come back to you - time and time again, after dropping you time and time again. If he is not sure it is YOU he wants, then you need to move on. You know you deserve someone who IS sure. He may be fabulous in all other ways ... (read in full...)
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