I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 9 August 2019: I don't mean this to sound rude (honestly) but how would any of US know the answer to that question? Why don't you ask your wife and see what she says?
Do you have a lot of spare time on your hands? Perhaps it might be a good idea to get a hobby ... (read in full...)
Do I continue in my loveless marriage? I reconnected with my ex
Q. I have been married about 21 years. The last 7 have been really bad, it is almost just like sharing a house with a roommate. My last kid will be moving out is September. This opens a new chapter. Do I continue this loveless relationship? ...
A. 20 July 2019: Yes, separate the marriage issue from the potential new girlfriend issue. You need to decide whether to continue your marriage as a stand-alone matter, not so that you can pursue this ex girlfriend.
Have you talked to your wife? Is she, perhaps,... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 19 July 2019: Just because someone is in a relationship does not stop them feeling attraction towards someone else. HOWEVER, what they CHOOSE to do about that defines their moral compass. What you are basically saying is, you don't trust your wife to stay ... (read in full...)
She breaks up with me tries to stay friends and then blocks me?
Q. Hi very confused, I was seeing this girl for three months, everything was going well and we were about 4 weeks in. At this stage of the relationship i started dropping comments referring to her as my gf and making her feel welcome to come to famil...
A. 17 July 2019: Sounds like you got yourself a drama queen who needs things 100% on her terms or not at all. Problem is, she is not even sure what her terms ARE.
I honestly wouldn't lose any sleep over her reaction. You often hear/read that you don't really k... (read in full...)
Am I in denial that we are over?
Q. My ex of 6.5 years left 5 months ago. Well, she sort of left. She moved in with a family member saying she wasn't sure what she wanted. She comes round once or twice during the week for dinner and stays every weekend. We don't have sex or anything ...
A. 16 July 2019: There is ALWAYS a "chance". Few things are impossible. However, you have to decide what you want from life and how long you are prepared to wait for your ex to decide what SHE wants.
I have read and re-read your post and I still don't know wha... (read in full...)
I've really had enough of my lazy partner
Q. Hi what do you do when your partner is so lazy we both work he is a labourer and I am a carer we’ve been together for 5 years we have a 3 year old son I came home from work this afternoon been up since 5am came home hoovered the house dusted ...
A. 14 July 2019: To answer your question, YES, you DO need to tell him what you want him to do. Hinting is useless. Doing it all yourself will not change anything. Even if you have to tell him over and over, get him doing things until he gets into the routine. Get ... (read in full...)
How can I make my boyfriend realize how awful he's been to me?
Q. My boyfriend has been horrible to me lately and I'm really upset that he doesn't feel bad for treating me the way he has. Last week he asked me to book a last minute holiday, I don't know why he couldn't do it himself but just text me his card...
A. 14 July 2019: In your shoes I would take a deep breath, cut him out of my life and walk away with my head held high. You don't NEED an apology, or even an acknowledgement of his bad behaviour, to move on. It is enough that YOU know it was out of order.
Peopl... (read in full...)
My dad's partner is a gold digger and I'm afraid if he marries her our relationship will be done
Q. Dear cupid. I (26) have been struggling a lot lately with a few things and here it is... My father cheated on my mother in 2011 (there were previous times when I was little), then my grandma passed away in 2015 and from then she became an alch...
A. 14 July 2019: First and foremost, my condolences on your mother's death. The first year after a death is always the hardest as you have all the "firsts" without them to get through: first Christmas, first birthdays (hers and yours), etc. Hang in there. It will ... (read in full...)
I made him wait for me thinking someday we would be together. He is now dating another woman but we love each other
Q. I met this guy a year ago.He turned out to be from my old school in my homecountry before the war occured, but we just never met although he was infront of me the whole time. We both lived a traumatizing war, but the effects of it made him become ...
A. 13 July 2019: Wow! Congratulations on posting what must surely be the longest post on this site. Ever. It's like a journal to try to make sense of what is going on. I hope it helped you to write it all down. I have to confess that I read it in two installments, ... (read in full...)
How do I succeed in getting a job and moving out of my parents home?
Q. Hello, my question is this: how do I succeed in getting a job and moving out of my parents home? When I was in high school, I wanted to get a part-time job and start driving lessons so I continued onto community college (I rode the bus each day...
A. 13 July 2019: As someone who has had to wade through piles of applications for jobs on numerous occasions, the first thing you need to do is make sure your CV presents you in the best way possible. Make sure it is well set out, has no mistakes and lists every ... (read in full...)
My family doesn't like my boyfriend
Q. Been with my partner now for 2 years and it's coming out That my family such as aunties and uncles do not like him. I come from a close family so we tend to do things all together, however we did not get to attend Easter as they refused to welcome ...
A. 13 July 2019: I am assuming you know WHY they don't like him, even though you don't say. After all, you are a close family so I have to assume you would not ask why when they informed you they hate him.
As you have been together two years, I also have to make ... (read in full...)
Why is my mum acting this way? Does she not like my boyfriend?
Q. Hi everyone - I was just wondering if anyone could help me solve some family issues which I think are regarding my current partner. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and we are very happy. He basically has moved in with me (it sort of just...
A. 11 July 2019: How old is your mum? Could she be going through the menopause? Hormonal changes at this time of life can affect some women VERY badly.
Is she like this with your brothers as well, or just with you? If it is just with you, then obviously there is... (read in full...)
Its been 2 years why can't I move on?
Q. It's been two years since I cut contact with my ex. We met in high school. I didnt have friends, nor did I have a stable home, I was always abused physically and verbally by my mother, so you can say I was the broken, weird kid at school. Fast ...
A. 11 July 2019: Well therapy is not going to work if you are refusing to talk about the very things which are causing you pain. I am sure you will not be telling your therapist anything which he/she has not heard before or which will shock them. You have no reason ... (read in full...)
Can you make yourself love someone?
Q. Well. Where do I start? Six years ago I met my husband and he inspired me to stop doing the party girl thing. Overtime i realized I had been shallow and never given men like him a chance before. (He is not physically what I was use to dating) I ...
A. 11 July 2019: Op, it seems you wrote your response before I wrote mine, but it did not appear until afterwards.
You question why someone mentions cheating. That comment refers to your sexting your ex. Do you not think of that as cheating? Would you be comforta... (read in full...)
Am I being taken advantage of? What is going on?
Q. I have a guy friend that I met less than a year ago. We have kissed once but never have we talked about it since (we were somewhat drunk). He didn't want to go further because he didn't want to ruin the friendship (although we haven't been friends ...
A. 10 July 2019: Of course he is using you. Not only is he getting you to sve him money on his parking but also look after his cat (I bet he doesn't pay you a penny). As if that was not enough, he "bets" with you and then demands the money HE wins but refuses to pay ... (read in full...)
Should I believe my married man?
Q. Just decided to break up with my MM after over 12 years We had a lot of ups and downs as well I just got to the point now where I had enough He tells me i’m the love of his life the woman he loves with all his heart , but that there is no way ...
A. 10 July 2019: Let me tell you something. If his wife ever finds out about you, he will drop you like a hot potato, regardless of whether he professes undying love or not.
He might tell you he loves you but he loves himself and his comfortable life much mor... (read in full...)
Can you make yourself love someone?
Q. Well. Where do I start? Six years ago I met my husband and he inspired me to stop doing the party girl thing. Overtime i realized I had been shallow and never given men like him a chance before. (He is not physically what I was use to dating) I ...
A. 10 July 2019: There are two distinctly different parts to your post: the part about your husband and the part about what you want to do with your life.
To answer your question, no, I don't believe you can MAKE yourself love someone. You can GROW to love som... (read in full...)
My husband has cheated called me names and won't talk about why he cheated
Q. Hello and thank you My husband and I have been married for two years. Our relationship has had some issues firstly he has cheated twice that I know of. He tells me that will never happen again. I have to admit sometimes I feel a bit insecure b...
A. 9 July 2019: He disrespects you by cheating repeatedly (twice that you know of but possibly more that you don't), he further disrespects you by calling you names if you dare to question him and tell you not to try to "control" him.
Will he change? Not a ca... (read in full...)
I am married and crushing on a guy from class but I don't plan on acting on it
Q. I am so confused as to why is this happening So I met this guy at a German class. It was last day of class on Tuesday and since then this guy has been on my mind. We sat next to each other and spoke a little too but weirdly I am just not able to ...
A. 9 July 2019: Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you are immune to feeling attracted to others. However, what you choose to do about that attraction will define what sort of a person you are.
We all meet people occasionally who we fantasiz... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend about these men obsessing over me and stalking me at college?
Q. I am feeling really overwhelmed because I feel like I have no one to talk to about this, not even my therapist knows what to do, so please read me, please! and give me your advice. I am in college studying art and in a long term relationship. I have ...
A. 9 July 2019: You can't control what these guys do or think? You can, however, learn to not let it bother you.
They're young and, for the most part, thinking with what is inside their pants instead of what is between their ears. They see a pretty young gi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to get married but all of his baggage is making me wonder if its a good idea
Q. I've been seeing my new boyfriend a little over a year. He is a very sweet guy. He wants to get married, and I'm unsure I really want to. I know that my reasons will sound very vain. He doesn't have a tax paying job, he works for cash doing whatever ...
A. 8 July 2019: Should any of this stuff bother you? DOES it bother you? There is no "should" involved. It either bothers you or it doesn't. If it didn't, you would not have written in.
In your shoes I would not even consider getting married to someone like thi... (read in full...)
How do I ask our friend to take the photos of us and our home off Instagram and not sound angry?
Q. I don't want to make a big deal out of this... and... thanx for your help :) I'm a private person and I don't use social networks. My husband doesn't use them either. Unlike me, he really hates them, I just do not like them. Recently a frie...
A. 8 July 2019: You are being far too nice about this. I would be fuming in your place. How DARE she take photos of your home while taking advantage of your hospitality and then post them on social media without getting your agreement? She is out of order, ... (read in full...)
Our wedding venue and honeymoon for next year are booked but our relationship is a disaster, my boyfriend refuses therapy and I feel unloved, unwanted, sad and totally lost
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for over 7 years, and for 5 of those years we lived together. We had our fair share of arguments but otherwise have had a pretty stable relationship. He proposed last year and we're due to be married in ...
A. 8 July 2019: Is this how you want to live for the next however many years until you eventually split up and get divorced? You do realize marriage is not going to change anything, don't you?
Reading this brought so many flashbacks for me to a relation... (read in full...)
I Havent Heard From My Boyfriend In Two Days After A Fight Concerning Commitment/Marriage. Should I contact him or give him his space?
Q. Hello everyone Bf and I have been dating for three years now. For the most part, we have a very solid relationship. We agree on most salient things and enjoy laughing with each other. We have even considered moving in with one another, somethin...
A. 8 July 2019: He's already had 3 years to decide whether he wants to marry you. Moving in together will not change anything except that, another 3 years or more down the line, you will reach another "crossroads" in your relationship. It will be a case of, "Well, ... (read in full...)
Should I not continue seeing this guy because of our conflicting views on sex?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a 32 year old female whose responsible, ambitious and adventurous. I've also been a Christian for the past 5 years and attend church regularly, bible study, etc. I'm also abstaining from sex until marriage. Since my last breakup ...
A. 8 July 2019: It makes me sad when I read posts like yours as I view organized religion in the same way as pyramid selling (the guys at the bottom making money for the guys at the top). Some of the most generous spirited and loving people I have met have had ... (read in full...)
Its been 2 years why can't I move on?
Q. It's been two years since I cut contact with my ex. We met in high school. I didnt have friends, nor did I have a stable home, I was always abused physically and verbally by my mother, so you can say I was the broken, weird kid at school. Fast ...
A. 7 July 2019: Oh sweetheart, I want to give you a big hug and to find words to take away at least some of your pain.
Firstly, and most importantly, you need to keep reminding yourself that none of this was YOUR fault. Your ex is a user. She sensed your vul... (read in full...)
Boyfriend treats his dog better than us!
Q. Hi this may sound like a stupid question but it’s really affecting our relationship I met my boyfriend 6 years ago he had a dog a Doberman after 2 year of being together he moved in with the dog we have a 3 year old daughter and I have a 10 year old ...
A. 7 July 2019: If there were more people in this world like your boyfriend, the rescues and pounds would not be full to bursting with unwanted dogs, and dogs would not be slaughtered in their thousands each year in the UK alone for no other reason than because ... (read in full...)
LDR and I miss her so much! How do I cope?
Q. I am writing as I find myself in a situation I can only assume most feel. I have been with my S/O for over 5 months now and everything between us is amazing. We are both head over heels for each other but unfortunately, we are in a long distance ...
A. 7 July 2019: I would find it strange if you DIDN'T miss your girlfriend very much, given YOUR age and the longevity (or lack of it) of your relationship. Had your relationship been five YEARS long, I bet the yearning would not have been anywhere near as strong ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 6 July 2019: If you wife WANTS to have an affair, she will find a way to have one, regardless of how many restrictions you put on her. In fact, the more restrictions you put on her, the more likely she is to want to kick back against them. Just human nature.
... (read in full...)
Straight friend wants to try gay sex with me.
Q. This guy and me, we're friends from childhood, we have known each other our whole lives. I'm gay and he's straight. Recently he broke up with his girlfriend and that's when he told me he'd like to try it with a guy (it meaning sex). I told hi...
A. 6 July 2019: It makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER! You KNOW that deep down otherwise you would just have agreed. Your gut instinct is screaming STOP at you to protect you from this.
You do not owe it to him to be his guinea pig. This screams DISASTER all over it.... (read in full...)
We've been involved but now he blocks me!
Q. We both date girls and we're both 32, . My "straight" guy friend at 14 said he "fell for me" in highschool. He said don't tell no one! We lose our virginity to each other and have sex for 2 years. 2019, I reached out, told him I've always had ...
A. 5 July 2019: When someone blocks you, there is no "deeper" meaning. It is a clear and simple sign that they don't want any more contact from you.
The "deeper" question here is WHY did you text him and tell him this? Were you at a low point in your life and... (read in full...)
Even after 6 years, I still don't trust my boyfriend. And it is getting worse. I don't know how to stop the downward spiral!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. Our relationship has been strained lately because it seems that no matter what I do, and no matter what he does, I cannot trust him. I never fully trusted him the entire time either. But it just seems to ...
A. 4 July 2019: There is good reason people say "get them by cheating, lose them to cheating". He tells you he will never hurt you; I bet he said that to his ex as well at some point.
It is quite possible he will NEVER cheat on you. On the other hand, he may c... (read in full...)
I don't want to invest in something that will hurt me, or waste both of our time. HELP!
Q. I met a guy through some mutual friends. He in only in the city right now for work, for a couple of months, however it was an instant connection, and he asked me out on a date. We have gone on multiple dates now, and have spent a lot of time ...
A. 4 July 2019: As someone once said: there are only two certainties in life - taxes and death. There are no guarantees with anything else, ESPECIALLY when dealing with people.
So this guy has told you he likes you. Lucky he didn't say anything more, given ho... (read in full...)
Should pay a sex worker to just go on a date with me?
Q. I'm pushing 30 very soon and I'm a male virgin who's never been on a date or ever been kissed. I'm not handsome in any way (I'd go far as to say pretty ugly), chubby, bald, and short (5'8''). I don't have much redeeming qualities. I can draw pretty ...
A. 3 July 2019: You sound like a sensitive young man, so there is one "redeeming quality" before we even start. Attraction is not purely physical. Initially it may be in many cases but this wears off quite quickly and personality and character win through. I am ... (read in full...)
How do I help my friend handle the grief of losing her cat?
Q. My friend is really traumatized and upset about her cat after 7 years that she had him, its a himalayan cat so beautiful such a gentle and sweet soul. I actually hate cats but this cat was really special it just liked to play and be cuddled at ...
A. 3 July 2019: Forgot to add, the Blue Cross offer a pet bereavement counselling service on line if your friend might find it easier to actually write down what she is feeling rather than talking about it. ... (read in full...)
I am in a sexless marriage! What can I do?
Q. Hello. I have been married for almost three years now. When we were dating our sex life was great. My then boyfriend was spontaneous, he would initiate most of the time. But after we got married and I got pregnant our sex life just dwindled...
A. 3 July 2019: As you give very little detail, it is very difficult to even start guessing at what is going on here. You don't even share what your husband says to you when you complain about not having sex so my responses are just wild guesses in the absence of ... (read in full...)
How do I help my friend handle the grief of losing her cat?
Q. My friend is really traumatized and upset about her cat after 7 years that she had him, its a himalayan cat so beautiful such a gentle and sweet soul. I actually hate cats but this cat was really special it just liked to play and be cuddled at ...
A. 2 July 2019: It might help if you think of this as helping your friend get THROUGH her loss, rather than getting OVER it. She has lost a family member. Her loss is no less painful than if she had lost a human member of her family.
The most important thing is... (read in full...)
Why did I put up with my ex for so long when he did terrible things to me?
Q. I been off and on with my first love for 19 yrs. In the past he dated other girls and would come running back to me when the relationships failed, I went back each time I think I just wanted closure because I kept asking him lots of questions about ...
A. 2 July 2019: The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome. Sound familiar? It's like reading the same book over and over again and expecting a different ending. It's the SAME book; the ending will be the ... (read in full...)
I'm an unhappy married man attracted to a woman at work
Q. i am a unhappily married man who is very attracted to a beautiful young lady at work. at first it seemed that she was and maybe i hope she still is attracted to me. but lately i am very attracted to her and pay attention to her as much as i can with ...
A. 2 July 2019: Two problems here, my friend.
Firstly, you need to either sort out your marriage or end it. Hankering after pretty young girls is NOT going to improve your marriage. It will just temporarily take your mind off your problems at home.
Secondl... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of the time my wife is spending with an ill member of her clergy
Q. one day I observed my wife walking down the road with a neighborhood guy. they were conversing and smiling, basically enjoying each other company. needless to say I felt jealous, and I told her so. flash forward, I been coming home lately and ...
A. 2 July 2019: Me, me, me. It's all about ME. This post is all about how YOU feel. Have you always been like this? If so, why did your wife agree to marry you, I wonder.
Do you have reason not to trust your wife? If so, that is a different matter. If not, the... (read in full...)
How can I not let my past affect my dating life?
Q. I'm trying to make sense of my nonexistent dating life. What I've noticed is that as soon as someone wants to get serious with me, I run away. Sex is easy, but when someone shows me they want more, then I back away. Back story: My parents have a c...
A. 30 June 2019: You've been badly hurt in the past so you - totally understandably - have built up defenses to try to stop people hurting you again. This is sensible when it is reasoned and measured (we all need to learn from past experiences and use them to our ... (read in full...)
My sister demanded 1/2 the take when I worked alone all day. Is this right?
Q. Hi people. My sister found a place after my dad asking us where we can sell stuff for the summer to make extra cash to pay for school. Last week on a certain day she helped me set up and left. I was there all day from 9am to 7pm without a toilet o...
A. 30 June 2019: Next time reverse the situation. YOU help with the set-up, then leave her to it. Then demand 50% of the takings. Her reaction will, hopefully, settle this for you. Either she will pay up 50% and you will feel better, or she will say this is not fair ... (read in full...)
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