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We've been married a month and only had sex once

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 September 2019) 7 Answers - (Newest, 16 September 2019)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I just got married a month ago and since then my wife and I had sex only once. On our honey moon we didnt have sex either. Today she came to me and said she wants to invest in her friends business and that she wants to help her friend by sending money and products to her friend who lives in a different country. When I met my wife she told me she wanted to start a business selling clothes and now all of a sudden she says she wants to go into business with this friend who does wedding planning. This is my second marriage and already I feel like I made a big mistake. She is no longer affectionate and I just dont know what to do. Please help!

View related questions: money, wedding

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2019):

It seems you may have been targeted; because you present or offer some sort of financial-advantage or business-opportunity. One might think you might have been a little weary marrying someone foreign, and appearing so interested in your finances; and the fact you've been married before, be just a little more observant of her behavior.

Now your eyes are open. Now that we gays have the legal option to marry, it seems we are doing it far too casually ; and don't appreciate the ramifications of taking vows when you don't really know to whom and/or why you're taking them.

Did you get wide-eyed and enamored over the idea of finding love, and immediately decide this is one? Did you date for an extended period of time to get to know her well? My guess is that you were so up for a gay-wedding; you didn't stop to get to know who she is. I've watched gay-marriages topple one after another. Many not long after they were wed! All the planning and expense, and such a grand show!

As far as wanting to help some other friend with a business, keep your money out of it. Insist on sticking to the original plan.

Let her invest her own time and money wherever she wishes. Offer her your moral-support, not the capital!

My advice? Seek legal-advice about protection of your assets; and how to protect yourself against possible fraud, or theft of your savings.

You jumped into this feet-first, and now you're judging the relationship based on the lack of sex. Look into getting an annulment.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2019):

The good news is you do not have to stay married.Get an annulment.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2019):

Your wife is using you. She married you because she has her own agenda and LOVE is not on that agenda. She wants a husband in name only in order to use your financial assets. The least she could do is throw you a bone once in awhile for all your financial support. That's what hookers do. But you are giving her all this money with no sexual services rendered in return. This is not a marriage.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2019):

Lack of sex maybe because your partner is not into same sex sex.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (14 September 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI get the impression - please correct me if I am wrong - that your wife is from a distant country where "marrying for money" is common and young women target people from richer countries for marriage so they can send money back to their families.

The fact that her plans have changed is not, in itself, cause for concern. Plans often do change as we investigate and consider and as new (better) opportunities present themselves.

Was she affectionate up to the time you married? If so, then my suspicions that she netted you as a means to help her family/friends may be right. In your shoes I would not give her any money to invest in this "business" as it could all be a big scam. If she wants to send money, let her earn it. Don't bankroll her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2019):

anon below: it clearly states female?

I think that you need to speak to your wife and discuss how you feel. If you got married to someone you can talk openly with then, yes, you made a mistake. If you want to rectify that all you have to do is open up the lines of communication and figure out what her expectations are and communicate your expectations.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2019):

Are you a male or a female?

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