Is my wife developing a violent streak?
Q. My wife threw a glass at my head during a petty argument. I’ve never known her to have a violent streak in her before. Should I be worried? On Saturday I was stripping the kitchen ceiling ready for it to be redecorated in a few weeks and when m...
A. 7 January 2020: In no way am I endorsing her behaviour. HOWEVER, I have to ask, do you regularly "wind her up"? Do you regularly dismiss her concerns as unimportant? To YOU it may have been something minor but, to her (we assume the primary care giver to the ... (read in full...)
Should I move on or give it one more try with my overly religious ex
Q. So I dated this guy in 2013-2015 We got very serious very fast. He came from an overly religious background but when we met he was more or less totally normal and although he was against having sex before marriage. We did it multiple times a...
A. 7 January 2020: Would you read the same book and expect a different ending? Of course not. Nothing has changed here so why would you revisit and expect a different outcome? Stop willingly lining yourself up for heartache. ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that he really isn't into communication when we aren't together?
Q. I’ve just started dating a man but I can’t tell how into me he is. We’ve had around 10 dates and spent days together in between. We’ve spoken about how neither of us want to rush into things and are both happy taking our time getting to know ...
A. 7 January 2020: I usually read posts before looking at the profile of the poster. I had you down as a teenager!
On the one hand you say you have agreed you both want to take things slowly yet, on the other hand, you want to be texting all day? My best friend h... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling like I'm not good enough?
Q. I need advice on how to stop or control the feeling of not feeling good enough. I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and I’ve always felt this way, I feel like it’s a bad trait to have but I can’t help but feel this way. My partners friend ...
A. 5 January 2020: What did you expect your partner to say in response to being shown the picture? Being a good friend, he had to say something nice, regardless of whether the girl was his "type". It would not have been gracious to say something like "yeah, she's ok, ... (read in full...)
The affair ended when I became jealous that she had sex with her husband but I love her and want her back
Q. I have no interest in anything since my affair with a woman I cared deeply for ended. I had an affair for over a year with my cousins wife months before the affair I was attracted to this woman she made my heart race and made me imagine life in ...
A. 3 January 2020: I would just add a couple of small points to what has already been said.
Firstly, "She lost almost five stone and when I saw her for the first time I couldn’t believe her insane beauty" - this shows you are in LUST, not love. What would happen i... (read in full...)
I didnt get an answer, should I approach him again?
Q. Hi, male in my late fiftys, always been by curious, never been with a male before, a woman friend has a gay friend,well I ask him straight up, if he interested in having sex , told him I was a virgin, he said he has been, staying away from sex for ...
A. 1 January 2020: Wow! Classy chat-up line! Not! Would you have approached a woman in the same way?
This guy is gay. He is not a rent boy.
Show some respect and leave him alone. You are lucky he didn't deck you for such a rude approach. Just because he is ga... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a boy who brought his girlfriend to my house to sleep.
Q. Dear Aunties, Happy New year. I am a 36 yr old male. I have been with this 21 year old boy. We have a huge age difference. I have wanted this boy to be my boyfriend for a while now. He has been resistant to my advances and asked me to be patient...
A. 1 January 2020: This young boy has already given you his answer: "he is Christian and thus cannot be gay". In other words, his religion and/or what people think is more important to him than having a public relationship with you. He needs/wants to conform to what ... (read in full...)
What is this girl doing? Is she into me or not?
Q. This girl at college stares at me a lot. Ive walked over to her while with her friends a couple of times to make conversation but I ended up speaking with her friends and she walks off, not instantly but usually pretty soon after. She has the mo...
A. 31 December 2019: Dude, she has a BOYFRIEND. How would YOU like it if someone was hitting on a girl YOU were going out with? Have some morals.
Also, NOBODY is too busy to meet up for "at least a couple months". She hopes you will take the hint and back off. In ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't like my new hair colour.
Q. ive been with my partner for twenty years when I met him I was natural brunette but now im in my mid forties got a few greys and I changed my hair to blonde which everyone likes my family and friends and I get much more attention. Most importantly I ...
A. 30 December 2019: He has a right to voice his opinion, whether you agree with it or not. Would you rather he pretended to like it when, in fact, he didn't? Did you discuss it with him before having it done? If not, perhaps he is just as upset about this as you are.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend acts single and doesn't respect me.
Q. Hello My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. I’m having issues because his social media. He brings his exes to it a lot. Particularly one that I caught him having an emotional affair. As well as a bunch of flirting. He...
A. 30 December 2019: When someone shows you by their actions that they don't care what you think, you need to believe them.
While you just put up with his behaviour, he has absolutely no incentive to change it. You are effectively enabling him to treat you this bad... (read in full...)
My wife has an anger management problem and my patience is wearing thin. What can I do to help?
Q. My wife has an anger management problem. Sometimes she is mad at me, but many times she reacts angrily in ways that are disproportionate to the situation. If she "almost" (but does not) burn dinner she will stomp her feet and pound the table. I...
A. 29 December 2019: I really feel for you both. I would love to hear your wife's side of this story. Poor woman sounds so stressed and tired. However, this is not normal or acceptable behaviour.
As others have said, she needs professional help with this before s... (read in full...)
My Ex Girlfriend has told me the only person who will raise our son is her.
Q. The mother of my child and my ex girlfriend got a new boyfriend. We’ve been broke up since October 28, of last year. So roughly 14 months ago. About, May of that time period, only a month or two after our son was born. We were at my senior ...
A. 29 December 2019: You are both very young to be parents and your immaturity shows in the way you behave. It's such a shame a baby is caught up in the middle of your childish spats. Both of you seem to use sex with other people as a way of getting back at the other. ... (read in full...)
How do I stay friends when I want much more?
Q. I have been interested in this guy for years, we have been in almost constant contact for years, he worked away and didn’t want to be in a long distance relationship. All of our friends say they don’t understand why we aren’t together and I’m ...
A. 29 December 2019: Another story where I would love to hear the other's party's side.
I wonder if he is waiting for YOU to make it obvious you want a relationship? I think it would certainly do no harm to cautiously check out the ground. When you are out one nigh... (read in full...)
I'm miserable in our relationship of 7 years.
Q. Hi I’m in a relationship now for almost 7 years and I am so miserable there is no excitement I try talking to him on a night just general chit chat and I get totally ignored by him he shows me attention when he wants sex when he gets it he goes to ...
A. 29 December 2019: Why do you say you are staying for the sake of your son? He is already old enough to have noticed the atmosphere in the house. Is this how you want him to think relationships should be?
In your shoes I would try to talk to your partner one last... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my cousin - a followup to my previous question.
Q. I am re posting this question with extra details as I need more advice he has a girlfriend of 4 years, we have NOT had sex, he has never threatened me or hit me est... , i think I’m in love i want to know what he thinks and what I can do etc... I...
A. 29 December 2019: Are you posting in the hope that someone will say "Yes, this is fine, he loves you"? Unless it's someone having a laugh, that is not going to happen.
Just FYI, sex does not have to be only about full intercourse. I don't know what you mean by ... (read in full...)
I struggle to trust my judgement when it comes to guys.
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, I’m really interested to hear what others think is a ‘normal’ amount of messages to be sending in the very early stages of dating. For context: I’ve been seeing a new guy that I met online for the past month, we’ve...
A. 28 December 2019: A saying I heard once comes to mind: "If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you." Just because this guy is messaging you every day does not mean he is necessarily the same as your abusive ex.
How quickly do you r... (read in full...)
I feel a complete romantic disaster!
Q. Hi all, and happy holidays! Any help or advice is much appreciated. A few years ago I liked a girl at my school (so much that it became more of an unhealthy obsession than a crush), but was never able to muster up enough courage to finally ask h...
A. 28 December 2019: You are not worth any less because one girl did not fancy you, or because one girl ended your relationship to be with someone else. Even if you are Brad Pitt, there will always be girls who will say "nah, not for me". Don't take it personally and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated, and I don't know how to rebuild the trust.
Q. Hello, I have been with my partner just over a year. We were work colleagues for around 6 months prior to that, and our relationship didn't start in the best way - my then boyfriend was working away and I had an affair with current boyfrien...
A. 28 December 2019: I find it ironic that cheaters are usually the ones who have trust issues and assume others are cheating. Perhaps this is the price you pay for cheating? If anyone in your current relationship should be having trust issues, surely it is your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's good side is wonderful, it is why I have stayed so long.
Q. Over the last year, I've spent 5 months total with my bf. Let me give you a timeline. January-gone half the month working February-gone half the month because he was mad at me but we took a trip to Florida where we reconciled but then I flew acro...
A. 28 December 2019: The rest of your post paled into insignificance when I read this: "drug use, drug dealing, verbal/emotional abuse from his family and him to the point that I was an anxious wreck that jumped at his every command, his obvious readiness to leave at ... (read in full...)
He's left without me, after planning to spend NYE together.
Q. I have been seeing someone for 3 months. We have been taking it very slowly but the past 3 weeks things have been progressing more and I have met his mother and a couple of his friends. The other day we were talking about New Year’s Eve. Original...
A. 28 December 2019: Frankly yes, I do think you are over-reacting. He keeps asking you to go with him. It sounds like he has limited opportunities to see his friends. Is it really impossible for you to join him or are you just refusing because it is not what you had ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be in this marriage anymore.
Q. I don’t think I want to be in my marriage anymore. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. It’s really never been great. He’s a completely closed off person. We never talk about anything - future goals, family planning, budgets, our ...
A. 28 December 2019: It takes two to make a relationship work but, based on your post, it sounds like there is only ONE partner in this marriage who is making any effort and you sound emotionally exhausted from doing this on your own.
I appreciate what you are sayi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is financially dependent on me, did I make the right choice?
Q. Dear Everyone, I am writing this today because to be completely honest, I feel completely lost. I have been in a relationship for about 7 months. It started pretty slow, I didn't necessarily plan on being in a relationship so fast. We started ...
A. 27 December 2019: Op, you are an adult. You chose to put yourself and your daughter back in this horrible situation. You said this man was abusive. He took your car without permission and crashed it. He used to disappear for days on end without explanation. Your post ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is financially dependent on me, did I make the right choice?
Q. Dear Everyone, I am writing this today because to be completely honest, I feel completely lost. I have been in a relationship for about 7 months. It started pretty slow, I didn't necessarily plan on being in a relationship so fast. We started ...
A. 27 December 2019: You say "Ive never been in a relationship where I carried everything basically on my own" but that is not actually true, is it? You were in exactly the same position the last time you were in a relationship with this waster yet you still CHOSE to ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my cousin but not sure about his feelings for me
Q. I am I love with my 20year old cousin. I am 15. I don’t know what to do. He has a girlfriend but he acts like he likes me : he always teases me and we cuddle and other more intimate things. However I don’t know if he feels the same. I need him he is ...
A. 26 December 2019: You are 15, hence still a child in the eyes of the law (even though I totally understand and appreciate you feel you are grown up). Your cousin is 20, hence an adult in the eyes of the law. If he is having sexual activity with you, regardless of how ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my friend giving money to a man she met online
Q. I’m concerned about my friend. She met a man online. I think it was on Facebook. They have met 3 times, he lives far from her so she travels to see him. He is unemployed apparently. He does ask her for money. I found out she does give it...
A. 26 December 2019: Sounds very suspicious and it is good of you to try to look out for your friend. However, assuming she is an adult and of "sound mind", there is nothing you can actually do bar raising red flags and hoping she eventually realizes what is happening ... (read in full...)
He's ready to break up with his fiancee to be with me but is it the right thing to do?
Q. Hello agony aunts, 7 years ago I was in a relationship with this man whom I met in college. We were so in love however I had to finish my higher education outside the country for 2 years. We were trying patiently to manage the LDR but after I ...
A. 25 December 2019: So let me get this straight: if you give him the nod, he will ditch his fiancee for you. On the other hand, if you don't, he will stay with her? What a piece of work. I can see why you are in love with him. ... (read in full...)
Would I be judged for not wearing a bra?
Q. I would like an honest opinion please I don't find bras comfortable. Would i be judged by men or women if I was to be without a bra in public I'm only small up top and I know it's my choice but even tho I'm small up top, to put it simply, ...
A. 24 December 2019: The fact that you need to ask this question shows that you are not comfortable with the thought of going bra-less, otherwise you would just do it and be damned with what people think.
There are so many different types of bras available that I f... (read in full...)
My hypochondria and fear about the health of my loved ones is driving me up the wall
Q. I desperately need help for something that's gotten out of hand. I am a total hypochondriac and always assume the worst when it comes to health issues. The last year has been particularly bad. I thought I had breast cancer (turned out to be a harm...
A. 24 December 2019: Anxiety like yours usually starts for a "reason" - e.g. someone close to you dies unexpectedly or you read about someone very young dying due to an illness (in your case, probably cancer). This stays in your mind and slowly grows until it becomes an ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going away for a month, how do I get through this?
Q. My boyfriend will be going away for a month soon. I can't go. I am worried he will cheat on me. I fear I will not be able to cope with the constant anxiety and stress about what he is doing. Can anyone provide tips on how to stay SANE? An entire ...
A. 24 December 2019: There is a much bigger picture here than a guy going away for a month. MY question to YOU is: WHY do you not trust him? Has he actually given you cause to not trust him or is this all down to your anxieties and insecurities?
If the former, ... (read in full...)
My partner spends a lot of time partying with his friends.
Q. So me and my partner have been together around 4 years. For the most part it’s been good. My issue is his time spent with his friends. They get together about 3 times per week. His friends are mostly single and they party. Whenever they see ...
A. 23 December 2019: Does he work? If so, how? If not, where is he getting the money from to party in this way? If you are funding this, then stop immediately.
It sounds like you have two choices here: suck it up or move on. He is not going to change because you have... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his crazy ex .... I'm wondering if I should just leave them to it.
Q. My partner and I just got back together, and he has female friends and he slept with all of them. This one in particular that he keeps in contact with I really hate her because she was his gf before we got back together and she did some really nasty ...
A. 23 December 2019: So, to sum up: he has slept with all his female friends, he has lied to you, he insists on keeping all these female friends - yet you focus your anger on his ex who appears to idolize him as much as you do.
Sweetheart, open your eyes. He is not t... (read in full...)
The yelling and shouting between my boyfriend and I has gotten much worse!
Q. Boyfriend and I are starting to have blow up arguments. Half of the time I can't even remember how they started. He starts to yell and scream and I have started to return the yelling and screaming, at first I use to just deal with it. Then he ...
A. 22 December 2019: Let me ask you something: would you re-read a book expecting a different ending to the first time you read it? Of course you wouldn't. So why do you keep going back to this guy and expecting things to end differently?
After 10 years together... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't seem to care.
Q. Hi I’m in a relationship now for 6 years but I feel so lonely I went out last night and kissed some bloke in front of everyone I was really drunk I get shown no affection from my boyfriend or shown any love at all we don’t have sex and he’s Been in ...
A. 22 December 2019: Sweetheart, if someone shows you in every way they can that they don't care, you need to believe them. It sounds like you two have drifted apart. The only thing you appear to share is your address. You are effectively room mates, nothing more.
... (read in full...)
I feel so low right now, how can I get overmy crush?
Q. So, I've been crushing on this guy for at least 6 months now, I'm almost certain he just sees me as a friend, and I desperately wish I could get rid of my feelings for him and I know nothing will happen. But I've fell for him so hard, I feel utterly ...
A. 22 December 2019: There's nothing more romantic than unrequited love, lol. We can put these people on a pedestal and worship them forever if we wish. We never see them picking their nose, throwing up after a bad night, burping and farting. We don't know their bad ... (read in full...)
How do I win my AWOL husband back?
Q. Hi I am at my wits end and I don’t know what to do. My husband and I have been separated for years but I’m still in love with him. He won’t divorce me but he’s now moved abroad and aplenty living with somebody. Before he moved away we would meet up ...
A. 21 December 2019: You can't win someone back who has no intention of BEING won back. He is not a prize to be won by doing certain things or not doing certain things. He is a human being with a mind of his own. He has CHOSEN not to be with you. He has chosen to move ... (read in full...)
I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than take him back, but I feel so lonely.
Q. Hi all, Sorry to being negativity to the table but i'm feeling lonely and wasn't sure where to go to with this. Basically I recently broke up with an abusive boyfriend of many years. I've had a really busy couple of weeks in work and so h...
A. 21 December 2019: First of all, a big WELL DONE for getting out of this relationship. For the first time in years, you can look forward to a better future, starting right NOW. Now THAT has to be something to smile about.
Christmas can be a particularly lonely t... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed my boyfriend will be spending my birthday with his sister instead of me.
Q. Hi just looking for some opinions about this it’s my birthday tomorrow and my partner is at work all day until 4.30 now his sister have just phoned him asked him to go straight to hers from work to do some jobs around the house naturally I am ...
A. 20 December 2019: Quite frankly, I think where he spends your birthday is the least of your worries. You've been together six years and don't even live together. What sort of relationship is this? How long are you planning on just drifting along?
If you are both... (read in full...)
Help with two friendship situations please
Q. Dear all, I have two recurring situations and I seek your advice on it. I’m very sensitive to who are around me as friends and acquaintances, people who I think have questionable behavior or ethics (mean, rude, dismissive, arrogant, poor m...
A. 18 December 2019: I can see why you would say that you are being given conflicting advice. However, you have to remember this is a forum consisting of many individual aunts and uncles who are happy to try to advise. Their advice is not necessarily right for you. ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappy about having to spend much of Christmas Day alone.
Q. I’m an 18-year old lad and facing the majority of Christmas day alone. I’ve honestly never felt so rotten in my entire life. As well as having Aspergers syndrome I’ve always been shy and introverted, and as such I’ve got no friends in life and have ...
A. 18 December 2019: You are focusing all your attention on ONE DAY of the year. Yes, I get that Christmas day is supposed to be special, but many people treat it like any other day and I think, if you stop viewing it as a day when you SHOULD be with family, you will ... (read in full...)
My ex keeps contacting me to be nasty.
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years split up with me 2 months ago and since then he hasn't stopped texting me abuse about what a horrible person I am and generally putting me down which is really confusing me why is he still texting me all this abuse when hes ...
A. 18 December 2019: There are many things I wonder about in your post.
Firstly, I have to wonder how you know he is on dating sites? It appears NEITHER of you has moved on from your relationship.
Like some of the other replies, I too wonder why you have not bee... (read in full...)
Co worker was upset I didnt take her advice on a matter.
Q. This lady I work with who said she's attracted to me got upset today after I didn't take her advice on a matter. I teased her about it respectfully and she told me she was mad right after and said 'no one here listens to me'. I told her she was ...
A. 18 December 2019: If that is how she reacts because you didn't take her advice on something, imagine how she will be with you if you go ahead and have a relationship and then things fall apart. How uncomfortable do you think it will be working with her?
There... (read in full...)
Help with two friendship situations please
Q. Dear all, I have two recurring situations and I seek your advice on it. I’m very sensitive to who are around me as friends and acquaintances, people who I think have questionable behavior or ethics (mean, rude, dismissive, arrogant, poor m...
A. 11 December 2019: Wow, I read your post and thought "This is ME writing" - apart from the gay part (but that's not really relevant to your questions).
Like you, I resent being forced to spend time with people who don't enrich my life in some way or who irritate... (read in full...)
| *oucannotbeserious's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oucannotbeserious has
added them and they have added *oucannotbeserious!
|
