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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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I don't tell my boyfriend about my problems as I don't want him to think I cannot handle things!
Q. I miss my boyfriend a lot when he goes back to school. He occassionally comes back on the weekend, but I just feel so distant from him even though we try to talk at least once a day. I support him as much as I can so I don't let on to how much I m...
A. 21 January 2010: You are being considerate towards your boyfriend. You can tell him things in a way that's not demanding of a solution, but just a report of the day because you need a listener. Honestly girls are better listeners. It's okay to tell him you miss him, ... (read in full...)
I am not happy with him and wasn't before we got married either. How do I find the strength to leave him?
Q. I just got married a few months ago. I am not happy with the marriage. I am not in love with my husband. I made a mistake getting married. I knew in my heart that it wasn't right for me, but there was a glimmer of hope things would change after we ...
A. 21 January 2010: My story is not similar to yours but I had the strength to leave my marriage even after having a kid. I understand, getting married is a much more simpler process than getting divorced, but your life would be so much better for the long run.
H... (read in full...)
My husband lost his temper and threw our wedding ring out the window!
Q. my husband is lightly controlling and its all come to a head when he lost his rag with me because I did some overtime at work today, we got into an arguement and he threw his wedding ring out the window, he is always really childish when it comes to ...
A. 21 January 2010: This is shocking. The fact that you could argue about something so small. Overtime work is so common nowadays. I would take this as a big warning sign. His explosive nature could not be compensated with his other good qualities.
To leave him now ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to not have a boyfriend at 14? A friend in my class has had 45!
Q. Just wondering if its normal to be kinda frigid at 14? It's just that I have seen girls my age who have gone past the whole "shy" thing and are dating boys whenever they feel like.Theres a girl in my year who' had over 45 boyfriends. I ha...
A. 21 January 2010: It's normal to feel awkward the first time.
That girl with 45 boyfriends is not normal. I doubt they are really boyfriends. I see the Maury show, and feel that a lot of young girls are merely being rebellious, being contrary to their parents who ... (read in full...)
Should I end my marriage to find real love, or just be happy that I have someone who loves me?
Q. Ok i get married to a wonderful lady to help her out of a bad situation. we have been married almost two years. i love her but am not in love. I am 54 years young. i think everyday about how to get out, but don't want to hurt her and dont want to be ...
A. 21 January 2010: I am not attracted to drama and would rather stay single. There are "loving couples" feel lonelier than free spirited singles. If one is emotionally unavailable I would feel trapped, and my energies drained.
It's not hard to find another. There are ... (read in full...)
I can't tell if my boyfriend's best friend likes me..what do you think?
Q. Alright so I have a bit of a complicated situation. It may seem silly, but can someone please tell me what this situation seems like from the outside? Do you think my bf's best friend might like me a little? Please bear with me as this may get ...
A. 21 January 2010: The handsome guy does not want a relationship (especially after major gf problems), he hooked you guys up so he could avoid that. But he still enjoys the thrill, the secretive liking between you two. He is not jealous. You are probably very ... (read in full...)
Discussing marriage with my bf...greatly upsets him. What should I do?
Q. I have been dating my bf for 4 years. Whenever we try to have a serious discussion regarding our future (marriage) he gets extremely upset with me (i.e. yells, shouts, HUGE arguments). I try very hard to do special things for him. I cook, clean, ...
A. 21 January 2010: We don't get married because it's the right thing to do. A lot of married couples feel there is something missing, like a spark, or the missing link between the two and would look outside for that. Maybe he is doing you a favor but not getting ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my best friend but she doesn't love me!
Q. im in love with my best friend ive been friends with her for three years we have even kiss a couple of times and our other friends say we should go out and she the only girl that makes me happy and i feel like she the one but we're both in ...
A. 21 January 2010: For future reference, do not fall in love with best female friends. For women, they decide that you are a friend and would not move beyond that level. I don't know why you are putting so much energy into someone and it's not worth it. You are too ... (read in full...)
Older man or younger guy?
Q. I am soon turning 26 and would like to make some stable,serious choices concerning my life. I have been dating an older man aged 54 for 4 years. I was eventually tired of a distant relationship etc and decided to break things off.We split a y...
A. 21 January 2010: At this point, I think you have a need to have a relationship. You wan't to feel like you have a choice. But either choice is not a good one. Nothing's wrong with an old guy, but you broke up with him because of distance issues, if you continue ... (read in full...)
Does depression inevitably follow a break up?
Q. I just ended a relationship with someone who I found out was two-timing me. I knew I wanted to break up with him in the near future anyway because I didn't want to pursue a future with him for various reasons. I was always thinking about how ...
A. 21 January 2010: We human beings are always trying to fill the void, the emptiness. We use food, clothing, useless information to fill that gap. Darkness is like death and we all dread it. When we are in a relationship we are in the illusion that someone needs me, ... (read in full...)
Is it because of him or is it because of me?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for little over a year now, and we both live in different states. He's a really nice guy and he visits regularly, and we always talk on the phone. Recently he just admitted to me that towards the middle of last year, ...
A. 21 January 2010: If it's the first time is him. If it happens a few times then it's you. Why would you let that to continue? He has committment issues and he has no problems admitting that. There is absolutely no excuse to cheating. A person should always examine ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him and start over?
Q. I'm 21 and I have been with my boyfriend for 2years we have a 10mth old daughter togeather. We have had are ups and downs, I'm haveing truble getting him in the mood. Or he acks like he wants it then turns me down later in the day. I'm getting ...
A. 21 January 2010: I sounds like he loses interest in life. He is going through a quarter life crisis. He hasn't figure out what to do in life yet, and now he became a father. You should tell him he could choose to pay child support (out of someone's pocket) or you ... (read in full...)
Can I be arrested for this? Is it wrong to love your cousin?
Q. dear cupid i live in the uk i am having a good relationship with my first cousin, I have been told one of my family will tell the police please tell me if they can do anything i love her so much....
A. 21 January 2010: In the States, almost half of the country says it's illegal. In the UK, the Royal family interbreeds so the legacy and power go to the right people. They are not arrested. The police would not do anything. But you are going to argue with your family ... (read in full...)
Can exciting sex and a serious relationship coexist?
Q. Can exciting sex and a serious relationship coexist? There is a story: A country girl is about to marry a rich guy in the city, who she is not really attracted to. She wants to have sex with the rough country boy. The rich guy provides for he...
A. 20 January 2010: I get it now.
This is what we do. We put people into the mother box, father box, friend box, breadwinner box, bad boy box, slut box. When we try to mix elements together, it doesn't work.
Gina, is it selfish to want it all? Do you settle for a se... (read in full...)
I'm having a struggle with sex in our marriage...
Q. Struggle I'm really in a struggle with sex in my marriage. I feel really pressured into having sex with my husband and I'm not even sure he loves and wants to be with me. We have both made our mistakes in this marriage and I don't about our ...
A. 20 January 2010: Your husband wishes you could enjoy sex with him. Sex is beautiful and every act should be enjoyed. It is healthy for both women and men to have good sex, at least release some sexual tension. He is not using you. In reality, he is frustrated why ... (read in full...)
Oh help, is this love?
Q. Now, to get real help - I must speak the utter truth. So here goes... This all started at a missionary homecoming party (you don't need to know what this is - it's just basically a non-drinking non-smoking etc party) And one of my friends had just...
A. 20 January 2010: A socially correct explanation of real love is committment, loyalty, companionship, tolerance of differences after a long period of living together.
But what you are feeling right now is very real to you. You being young does not undermine the feel... (read in full...)
Should I leave him and start over?
Q. I'm 21 and I have been with my boyfriend for 2years we have a 10mth old daughter togeather. We have had are ups and downs, I'm haveing truble getting him in the mood. Or he acks like he wants it then turns me down later in the day. I'm getting ...
A. 20 January 2010: I read a psychology article about sex after being parents. He sees you nursing your child, changing diapers all the time. Suddenly you become a mother figure, which loses the sexual appeal. I don't have an answer to this, I am still trying to figure ... (read in full...)
Should I divorce my long distance wife?
Q. Hie.. I just got married about a month ago and I am already thinking about separation. The reason behind it is that i do not think my wife is a good wife. We hhad a history where were were dating for about a year and broke up due to commitmant is...
A. 20 January 2010: It is like out of sight, out of mind.
If I am not going to see my boyfriend for a while, I would always make sure that he still wants me, and would promise to make time for each other again.
It's a lot of sacrifice to be a flight attendan... (read in full...)
I'm quite daunted by the idea of first time sex.
Q. I'm quite daunted by the idea of first time sex. I'm almost 22 and still a virgin. Not to mention I hear that women prefer men with experience and are quite turned off of having to 'teach' someone at all. I know there may be 'some' that don't mind, ...
A. 20 January 2010: I've been with one virgin and he did pretty well. He seemed embarrassed and awkward. I don't see him as a loser. You didn't mention if you want a relationship or not, but women who look down on virgins aren't the kind you want anyway. Chances with ... (read in full...)
I want to be "the one"
Q. Hi Dearcupid people. I've been randomly reading questions and answers on this website for the last couple of days and I feel I still can't find a question exactly related to mine. So without further ado, here goes: My closest and best friend is a...
A. 20 January 2010: This is very one sided. I get the feeling that all you are doing is to avoid hurt, unhappiness, and to right the wrongs. Joy is a natural state of mind, it doesn't need much doing. You make love seem very bitter sweet, and no room for fun. Replace ... (read in full...)
What does this guy really want from me??
Q. ok so i met this guy on plenty of fish..we've been chatting on there for a month now... and went on a date on sunday.. he was really nice.. and thought i was soo beautiful.. after the date..he told me..he wants a serious relationship an...
A. 20 January 2010: If you are looking for a date, then you still believe in love somehow. You don't have to mention your past to him. He really does not have to know. Tell him you like to take it slow. It is better to have no relationship than to be with someone you ... (read in full...)
What if there is a third party?
Q. me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 1 year and 7 months.We are both 22 years old.She is sleeping in our house for at least 2 to 3 times a week.We used to have so much love and care for each other but it seems that it all turn around ...
A. 19 January 2010: I can be affectionate at any time during the month. PMS is supposed to make things that are already problematic even worse.
Her answer, "I am still thinking and hope you understand." does not sound like a third party involved.
Whether she want... (read in full...)
Conflicted - To leave or to stay?
Q. I have been with my partner for 6 years, I am 24 he is 29. we have been living together for about 5 and a half years. Anyway, recently I have caught him out lying and being dishonesty to me in regards to his activities on dating websites. I bas...
A. 19 January 2010: The answer is not how fast you can leave him but what you can do each day to make progress. Make small goals to achieve each day and begin to imagine what the better future would hold. Decide which things are yours, which things are his, etc. You ... (read in full...)
Online dating and trust
Q. hi there, I need your advice on my situation. I am an international student in the US. During my thesis writing, I felt so stressful and boring, then I googled and joined a chat forum where I met a guy from Singapore. We started to talk and he s...
A. 19 January 2010: Welcome to the western world.
He is singaporean, so he understands how asian girls think.
He is a guy, he has a strong sex drive and the only outlet is the internet.
If he sees you, he would try but would stop if you don't let him.
You can choos... (read in full...)
Glutton for punishment
Q. I have had an intimate relationship with an older guy for 3 years, mind you, he has a girlfriend. I kept thinking he would break up with her and be with me. Last week he told me he was getting married, that he wanted to stop seeing me, I said my ...
A. 19 January 2010: Date another man now. Say yes to the sex club. Go to the sex club with your date. Introduce your older guy to your "fiancee", which is your guy you just dated.... (read in full...)
Open marriage...
Q. My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years now - happily married for 7 of those years. We recently made a decision to have an open marriage and have agreed to a set of guidelines in place to protect our relationship. I have no ...
A. 19 January 2010: If I say go ahead and your husband is upset or you lose a friend, don't blame it on me!
I think if all of you don't make a big deal out of this, and are open minded, it should be fine.... (read in full...)
I got into a physical fight with my brother and now my boyfriend wants to beat the crap out of him.
Q. I am a 17 year old girl and well last night was a really bad night. My twin brother and me got in a physical fight. I was already really upset and he was just getting on my nerves because he was calling me names and saying stuff that was starting to ...
A. 19 January 2010: I don't think you should let him know that because that would reinforce the idea that physical aggression is the way to solve problems and it would make your family hate your boyfriend. I assume your twin brother is close to you so it's up to you if ... (read in full...)
Best friends only... or is that impossible?
Q. Can an attractive man and an attractive woman ever really be best friends without one of them falling for the other at some point?...
A. 18 January 2010: This is an interesting question, because I thought about that a lot.
But as people grow up and gain more experience, we will find out there are many factors which influence what we would do with people. These factors are sex drive, chemistry, life... (read in full...)
My b/f danced with, and almost kissed, another girl, now I can't trust him
Q. Hey. about 2 and a half months ago my boyfriend of then 6 months went to a club and danced with another girl (i mean proper dancing - he told me he had a semi) then as she pulled him to kiss him he realised what he was doing and pulled away as lips ...
A. 17 January 2010: You are not being ridiculous. He needs to understand and be empathetic about your feelings. The past is gone and you couldn't change it. But the fact that you let him go outside and dance with whoever, and then have him tell you (I don't know, or ... (read in full...)
I can't move on from my first love and it's tainting my relationship
Q. I've been with my bf cumulatively about 8 months while we've been on and off for about a year and a half. My feelings for him are definitely growing and now they are to the point that I do love him. The problem is, I can't tell if it's in a romantic ...
A. 17 January 2010: Sounds like you are more attracted to your ex than your now boyfriend. You are with your boyfriend more because he is supportive than you are really crazy about him. There is still a desire that you want to get back with your ex. It would be unfair ... (read in full...)
Hasn't been the same since his grandfather died
Q. Hi I have been in a realtionship for the 18 months now, at first me an my guy were so in love, best of friends etcetc, but a few months ago it began to go down hill. He suffered a major loss as his grandad died, so i tried to let him no i was the...
A. 17 January 2010: I know this is a stereotype, but the guy should be the one fixing the problems in the relationship. When a woman does too much, the guys feel inferior and not appreciate you. My boyfriend's brother die, and his family has been grieving for 2 weeks ... (read in full...)
Does anyone here HATE the dating game?
Q. does anyone here hate the dating game? i went on a date with a girl who lives about 1hr away from me, and it went really well, and we are going to hang out again soon. I always am wondering if she likes me or is she getting bored of me, does she ...
A. 17 January 2010: Dating is very simple. To avoid wasting time guessing. Always to a follow up call the next morning. She either likes you or not. If she doesn't, then move on to the next one. I would look for a mate who lives closer to me though. Many people only ... (read in full...)
Part time boyfriend!
Q. Okay hers my problem. Back in Nov. I met the most amazing woman. She was everything I have ever wanted in woman and more. During the next month we had a really great time together. She told me that she loved me and that I was the first person that ...
A. 17 January 2010: Okay, so there is an imbalance in your relationship. She is getting all the fun and companionship from her families and friends and sex from you and all you get is sex and hopefully intimacy. Maybe you put too much expectations on her. You may get ... (read in full...)
Why am I so hurt?
Q. I dated a girl on and of for 3 years or so. When we broke up it was always my doing and when we last broke up a year ago, I told myself and her that it would be the last time. We had just moved in together in a new city and the relationship was not ...
A. 17 January 2010: You have no need to forgive. You'd broken up for the last time. She is free to do whatever. You are hurt because you still feel the connection with her. Men are possessive, this trait helps them to spread the genes with the women they want.
W... (read in full...)
Why the sudden interest in me again by the ex?
Q. my ex started to talk to me all of a sudden, its been almost a month since ive seen him really. He has talked to me before and basically telling me to contact him any time, text him, and to see each other real soon. But then he just disappea...
A. 17 January 2010: Even though he's broken up with you, he doesn't like the idea of you being with other men. Men are possessive animals. Maybe he's dating other girls but found no one interesting. ... (read in full...)
I am doing the right thing in stopping him from kissing me, aren't I?
Q. This guy that I was sleeping with tells me he doesn't feel he is ready for a relationship and he doesnt want to have just causal sex, so we both decided to remain friends. The day we decided that, he came over to mine and we were watching a movie ...
A. 17 January 2010: Why don't you use him for sex too?
Girls have desires too.
Only if you won't fall in love with him.... (read in full...)
I need tips on how to be more confident
Q. Hey Everyone :) i was just wondering if ye guys could help me out :/ i have a little problem, okay here goes.. I need tips on how to be more confident..i find it really hard to look people in the eye, i want to be able to be more socialable :/ i ...
A. 17 January 2010: I found that I became confident by doing what I always wanted to do despite what other people think. Life experience helps me deal with future problems. I would also read a lot of books of psychology and human behavior. You don't need to be an ... (read in full...)
Girl needs space... I think!
Q. Alright, so I've talked with a few of my other friends, and they are girls, some are guys... and it's regarding my situation with this girl. We hung out almost every night when I was available (work, etc...) Whether it be by phone, or somethin...
A. 17 January 2010: Relationships either die or go into marriage. The problem is that there is no problem. At your age, boys like to be boys and girls like to be girls. There seem to be nothing in common. It's like, you say something, there is no continuation, and then ... (read in full...)
We are both 17 and have been secretly been trying for a baby - please advise.
Q. Thankyou if you read this. I have been with my partner for nearly two years now and she is the best thing thats happened to me. However, we are both 17 and we cant wait to get our own life started. Really I am looking for personal advice rather t...
A. 16 January 2010: Hi Uncle,
You make me think about the Maury show. No one is stopping you from doing anything. You are free, but not so free when money comes into place. The American Dream is getting harder and harder to achieve, but not impossible.
But realisti... (read in full...)
When should I mention to her that I want us to be exclusive?
Q. i met a girl online, and we talked for about a week or so and everything was going good! it was easy to talk to her, she was funny, and we had a good time, we then decided to plan on a first date, which she came down for the night, we had alot of ...
A. 16 January 2010: Whenever a guy pops this question, a girl would lose interest. I don't like cute guys, I like them manly and dominant. Come on let's face it, we are all horny animals. Whether you choose to have sex before marriage does not matter. Girls are like ... (read in full...)
She never climaxes... and I can't understand why!
Q. so ive been seeing this girl and well shes 11 years younger, im 30, come on, do the math its quite simple! ok so we rock out together and have many things in common but i can spend hours and hours yes much oral then penetration and yet she never ...
A. 16 January 2010: I first masturbated when I was 5 because it felt good. G spot orgasm came much later, in my twenties just because the guy knew what he was doing. The G spot is a rough spongy spot two inches up the vagina, facing the outside of the belly. For me to ... (read in full...)
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