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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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I have no respect for my wife and don't plan on having kids together. How do I tell her?
Q. Please don't judge me for what I write .... My wife and I have been married for 5 yrs. I love her deeply but I look at her as a whore. We have had a very interesting sex life since meeting, engaging in group sex, 3 sums, public sex and often sw...
A. 19 March 2010: The whole question was worded wrong. Here's why I would have asked it:
"My wife and I had experimented with sex with multiple partners for years. I was tired of it but she continues this swinging lifestyle. I want to settle down and have kids and ... (read in full...)
How does one stop being so full on in the early days of a relationship?
Q. Bit of an obvious question but wanted some opinions. How does one stop being so full on in the early days of a relationship? ...
A. 14 February 2010: When we find a potential soulmate, it feels like time stops. You enter into a moment. There is linear time, and circular time. You need both to progress in life. Linear time gives you structure and pattern to follow. Circular time gives you meaning ... (read in full...)
Help! How can I tell him I want to stop having sex?
Q. How can I tell my friend I want to stop sleeping with him without him reacting badly? We have a FWB relationship I guess but we are unbelievably close. I'm worried if I say I want the sex to stop then the hugging, kissing, spending time together etc ...
A. 14 February 2010: I remember when a guy (we've done it like 6 times) asked if he could come over at 11pm, I said NO. Then I explained to him I wanted a boyfriend (even though I didn't care for one at that time). He asked if he could come at a later time I said NO, ... (read in full...)
Am I being blind or just paranoid?
Q. I just wanted to know if I'm being paraniod. My bf and I have been going out for 6 months now, we have a age gap of 10 years, he's 21 and I'm 31. I've got 3 kids and he has none. He cheated on me in our third month, told me the truth about it. ...
A. 14 February 2010: You are blind if you are not worried if he's having a sexual affair. He gave you a reason to worry, he has such an unstable life. I am 29 with one kid, I feel dealing with a 21 year old is not that difficult. You are lowering your expectations for ... (read in full...)
Is he being honest or is the relationship going to end?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 5 months and everything has been great until now. He's asked if he can have some space as he's got some problems he needs to resolve - basically he's he is beginning the proceeds of a divorce from his ex wife. He's also ...
A. 14 February 2010: Calm down. Divorce is a long and complicated process. Let him concentrate on what he has to do. A phone call each night would be reassuring. Why would he want to end things when he's looking forward to having a great relationship with you? You have ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy says "lets just be friends"?
Q. Ok so i'm so depressed right now. i keep trying to end a relationship, well it was never really a relationship more seeing eachother. And every time i do it ends up starting agen not llong after,i can't let him go. But the other day he ended it...
A. 14 February 2010: I was wondering the same thing too: why can't he just try? But after I focus on somebody else, those questions don't really matter anymore. And when I found out it's my turn to turn someone down, there is really no best way. Then we are left with ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy says "lets just be friends"?
Q. Ok so i'm so depressed right now. i keep trying to end a relationship, well it was never really a relationship more seeing eachother. And every time i do it ends up starting agen not llong after,i can't let him go. But the other day he ended it...
A. 13 February 2010: You should not take this personally. A guy did that to me. I am actually attractive but his life is not stable, he went through a painful breakup, so he does not want a girlfriend. I said ok but he could feel I was falling in love with him. He ... (read in full...)
Valentine's day plans gone wrong...
Q. hi, I've been planning valentines day for a little while now, but its falling to bits, i did have a restaurant booked for valentines day with a set menu for 48 pounds per person, in the last week the restaurant have asked for an extra 40 ontop t...
A. 13 February 2010: Both of you should complain to the manager. It's a business scheme and I bet if you make a scene out of this the manager would probably quit arguing with you and just give you the table. He could only hope that some rich couples would just give him ... (read in full...)
I love her and miss her so much but if I get back with her she will hurt me again
Q. Hi, When I meet my GF she was became the girl of my life, yeah not only she is the first girl in my life but also my first love. You know it was a kind of loving someone without EXPECTATION. She pretended to be a very simple girl and v...
A. 13 February 2010: For some people, true love only happnes once. She is not your true love (you only thought she was), so you are bound to find another one who can share your feelings and appreciate your talents. You can't get attached to any other girl because you ... (read in full...)
He called me lazy because I wasn't enjoying having sex with him and now he hasn't contacted me! Should I take it that it is over?
Q. i had sex with a guy am dating and he was pretty big and he took soo long to cum so i got soo tired am gave up..(i wasnt enjoying it) he wanted to go second round.. but i was soo weak that i was in the mood to go another round.. we got kissing ...
A. 13 February 2010: He is behaving like this because you are giving him blue balls. He's taking it personally that he sucks. He's either going to find some girl who likes him or read books on sex to brush up on his skills. Your body doesn't lie. You don't like him that ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to inject some life into this relationship?
Q. I'm in an extremely boring relationship with a girl that I really like. She is very kind, considerate and giving. She takes exceptionally good care of me and takes care of a lot of my needs, like my laundry, helping me keep my place clean, ...
A. 13 February 2010: This is the feeling you get when you settle down. You are still young, so if this is not the kind of relationship you want, you have to tell her. Your relationship is very good compared to other people in this forum. If she's not complaining, you ... (read in full...)
Was her reason for breaking up with me valid?
Q. Hi guys, Recently, my girlfriend broke up with me for a reason I didn't understand. Here's what happened. We were talking about her past (dating, first kiss, making out, etc.) Then she asked me, "did I turn you off?". The reason she said that be...
A. 13 February 2010: No, it's not a valid reason but for her it is. She is afraid you would judge her for being easy and not choosy. She probably had more dating experience because whenever guys don't find her to be perfect she breaks it off before anything could ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is depressed and I'm going in circles trying to make things better. What can I do?
Q. My girlfriend of almost eleven years has an exotic bird that she's had for about two years. Before you ask, we're not married because all our parents have been divorced several times and it seems pointless to us. She is depressed because she hate...
A. 13 February 2010: Your girlfriend is self absorbed. She wants to spend time with you yet she ignores you. She is doing everything she could do hide her depression. My guess is that she did not feel loved as a child and now she is compensating that by regressing into ... (read in full...)
I feel really battered and bruised by my boyfriend's constant abuse...
Q. Hello, I'm looking for advice re my boyfriend of ten years. I feel really battered and bruised by his abuse. He has called me names over the years, insulted my daughter (he is not her father) and he has even threatened to 'slash' my face open and ...
A. 13 February 2010: You are definitely still young to marry again. Think about how you are aging each day just by being with him and tolerating his abuse. Being in love keeps you young. Have your children and friends back you up. Break up with him for the sake of your ... (read in full...)
Two types of men...
Q. I come across two types of men in my dating life - those who quickly think I'm the answer to make their lives perfect and so within a couple of weeks they're saying they love me, talking about moving in together soon and starting conversations about ...
A. 13 February 2010: I think girls learn to become players too. It's only that when we go back and forth between extremes we find out the best way to a relationship is moderation.... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my shy friends likes me?
Q. How would your friend act if he liked you but was to shy and unsure to tell you? maybe through lack of confidence etc. I think my friend likes me, and so do some others that have seen us together but i really do think hes shy and doesnt have a clue ...
A. 12 February 2010: It's possible to like many people without acting on those feelings. Unless he asks you for a number, a time to meet, compliments you appearance and touches you, then any other signs are not obvious enough to mean anything. If a guy really doesn't ... (read in full...)
Is it worth trying to fight for the relationship before he gets too close to this new woman???
Q. Hi, my long term BF and I have been arguing a lot mostly because of his problems and we have been kind of on/off over the last year but I still love him. I saw him a couple of weeks ago then he suddenly told me he had seen a woman at work he liked ...
A. 12 February 2010: He is inconsiderate for not discussing things with you. He acts like he hopes you just disappear. It's hard to move on when you can't talk to him but there's nothing much you can do now. A third person who suddenly comes into the relationship ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend starting to distance himself, when everything is going well?
Q. We've been dating for 9 months, so we've pretty much went through almost everything. From him losing interest, being too controlling, and me being sick of putting all the effort into our relationship because i wasn't getting anything back. ...
A. 12 February 2010: Are you sure your relationship was going well before he distanced himself? Maybe he is not a good conversationalist and he faked his way through making conversations with you. Now that he's comfortable with you he can sit back and relax a bit. ... (read in full...)
Why does monogamy exist? What's the use?
Q. Why does monogamy exist? I don't get it. A lot of people - men and women - cheat. I've not been cheated on, but I see it happen often. It's often been said humans are not monogamous by nature, and I guess it's true. I get that people need love and ...
A. 11 February 2010: A lot of us are going to have kids. The law binds a couple together so both parents are responsible for their own kid. Without such law there would be full of dead beat dads. I don't think polygamy works. My boyfriend and I work out a schedule so we ... (read in full...)
My husbabd can go months without touching me so I ended up having an affair with my best friend. I don't know how to deal with the guilt of lying tho!
Q. I have been married for nearly 5 years. My husband is 10 years older than me and he is a good man and great husband but we have no intimacy. He can go months without ever touching me and I know he is not having an affair. I have tried talking to ...
A. 10 February 2010: Since your husband is around 60 years old, I am picturing him having sexual problems like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or prostate problems. That's not to say that all men are like this. I know old couples have sex up to 80 years ... (read in full...)
3 years of marriage and it's already going downhill.
Q. I have been married for 3 years with one child and had the "perfect" honeymoon stage; but for the last year it has been heading straight down hill. Like any other marriage, it has needed it's work; but has been neglected on her end. We attended ...
A. 10 February 2010: You must be thinking, how did a perfect romance turn into an overworked, stressful household? I see that there are too many distractions, obligations in the family and you are missing the one on one time. Ask your wife, who's more important, the ... (read in full...)
I am worried the stress I cause my girlfriend might make her miscarry our baby.
Q. hi i am 18 and my girlfriend is 19 and she is pregnant.. But we both want the baby we both tryed to get pregnant let me tell you a little about us we tried once and had a miscarriage because of stress and we tried again and she is pregnant ...
A. 10 February 2010: This might be a medical problem. Most people are stressed out, old or young. I've never seen any couple who don't argue. Maybe she has an underactive thyroid? If she is in the first trimester, she will always want to throw up because of morning ... (read in full...)
I feel to dependant on him, it's making me insecure.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and things are great between us but recently I've realised that I'm too dependent on him. I used to hate school and was the first to take a day off when I wasn't feeling quite 100% but since he came in...
A. 10 February 2010: The ideal thing is that he is an heir to a billion dollar family. He does not have to worry about money and is willing to take care of you for the rest of your life. This is pure fantasy. You do have to think about your future, it's never too early. ... (read in full...)
I am a virgin but think about doing threesomes, porn and striptease. I am really confused about my morals!
Q. I want to wait until i have sex so my first time can be with someone i am in love with...but at the same time the thought of having threesomes, for example, makes me feel really aroused. also i feel desperate to have sex, i matsturbate very often ...
A. 9 February 2010: Sex is a beautiful thing. If you want to hate what you are doing, do it for money. We've all been there. The first time I had sex I was like, "that's it?" Sex is pleasant but it's not everything and should not occupy your mind the whole day. When I ... (read in full...)
Is this really love I feel, or comfort?
Q. okay, this is unnusual. im inlove with my schools resource officer. we spend a lot of time together. im comfy around him and can tell him anything. when he looks at me i get this feeling thts to hard to explain. when i come around the corner and i ...
A. 9 February 2010: We don't know if your school officer feels the same way about you. If you told him anything, including your abuse he would be very careful of not flirting with you, to make sure he doesn't look like a predator. His full concern is that you are ... (read in full...)
He says I'm needy, is it me that needs to change, or him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been arguing because, when we are together, he often zones out and does not reply to what I am saying. I always respond to his concerns, but if he is zoning out (which happens often, even though we only see each other one day ...
A. 9 February 2010: He doesn't realize women talk for the sake of expressing feelings. For him there is no point talking if it doesn't get anywhere, or if there's no problem to be fixed. A female friend is a better listener. I think you two need to find a way to make ... (read in full...)
I have no respect for my wife and don't plan on having kids together. How do I tell her?
Q. Please don't judge me for what I write .... My wife and I have been married for 5 yrs. I love her deeply but I look at her as a whore. We have had a very interesting sex life since meeting, engaging in group sex, 3 sums, public sex and often sw...
A. 9 February 2010: I wouldn't want to have a child with a gigolo either.... (read in full...)
Family doesn't like new girlfriend
Q. Ok, there is this girl (23) that I really like, and its not like I love her but REALLY like, she completes my personality, she enjoys all the same things I do including dirtbikes, hockey, camping, sports, she's very much like me in A LOT of ways. We ...
A. 9 February 2010: Your family doesn't know your new girlfriend well. It's more like they are embarrased because if your friends knew that you slept together, then who knows how many more people knew about this, and that people would talk about what kind of family ... (read in full...)
He seemed shocked when I asked him to cum in my mouth! I thought this was common.
Q. Ok im really confused becuase i thought guys like it when you let them cum in your mouth. I never did it before and my bf asked me where he should cum and i said my mouth cause i wanted to taste it for myself. He seemed shocked kinda and i asked him ...
A. 8 February 2010: No, you are normal. Drinking cum is like receiving his essence and having a spiritual conception. This must be his first time and he's embarrased and worried how he would taste. For him, it probably feels like peeing in someone's mouth. But all the ... (read in full...)
I really don't know how to move things forward with him or how he even feels about me?
Q. I find it incredible how one person can have such a massive impact on your life. I really want to be with someone so much, I have done nothing but think aboout him since our date. The thing is, i'm just not sure how this older man feels about me! ...
A. 8 February 2010: You may have a thing for older guys because they are experienced, confident and calm. You won't scare him off. He knows how young people are. We've all been there. He may find you cute. I don't know how he feels about you. You are still in the early ... (read in full...)
Should I mend it or end it?
Q. I love my boyfriend, I just don't know if I'm in love with him and I don't know what to do. I love him because he's a great person, he truly cares for me, he's fun to be around, etc. However, I'm getting so tired of our relationship becaus...
A. 8 February 2010: Just let him be. We all have a freedom to choose when we are going to make money. If he goes to work thinking he has to, because he has to treat you, he'd resent it. If your honest truth is that you don't have feelings for him, why bother asking us ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I am not "freaky" enough. What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend Thinks Im Not "Freaky" enough. I think he going to break up with me for that. How Can Isave This Relationship?...
A. 8 February 2010: If he is breaking up with you because of that reason, the relationship is not worth saving. He might as well join a BDSM group and get spanked by a dominatrix. Or maybe I don't know what freaky means, do you? I honestly don't think there's a ... (read in full...)
I'm being criticized by a teenage boy! Why is he behaving like this and how can I get him to respect me?
Q. HI. I'm a happily single 35 yr. old woman. I go to church alone and even though I've been going to this particular church for more than 2 yr.s it hasn't been easy for me to make friends there. Lots of people smile and say hi but they don't really ...
A. 8 February 2010: He is entitled to his own opinion. Why is he behaving like this? He is at an age when he has crushes on older women. You get him to respect you if you are more confident in your looks and not pay attention to what he says. If you secretly wish to ... (read in full...)
How do I know if the sex was good or not?
Q. So I had sex with this guy last night. It was totally a one night stand and I'm not expecting anything out of it. I was just wondering, how do i know if he liked it or if I was bad? I wasn't laying there like a dead fish and when i gave him head he ...
A. 8 February 2010: Had a one night stand and then church in the morning? What a hypocritical guy. Guys should just masturbate. He came, released some tension. Sex without intimacy is always a zero to me. Can't even say thank you, what's wrong with him?... (read in full...)
My guy lasts FOREVER and can't even orgasm when he masturbates...help!
Q. On Jan 19th I lost my virginity to my bf (who was also a virgin)...and he lasted at least an hour, possibly upwards into two. I only know that before we started it was 2:30 am and shortly after he finally came it was 4:30. I was in pain, obviously, ...
A. 7 February 2010: I've been with one guy like that, and he was a virgin so I was expecting he would come very fast. He never came. I asked him how long he comes when he masturbates he said 40 minutes. I asked him what position made him want to come he said, me on ... (read in full...)
I want to help my woman be that strong woman behind a strong man type of woman.
Q. (Mod Note - OP's own title) How can I help my girlfriend understand that I need to see and feel more affection from her? I've talked to her, but I'm not convinced that she is hearing me. So I'm not sure if she just doesn't know how, or was rai...
A. 7 February 2010: When you ask her, be affectionate! She would say, why, for what? Maybe she doesn't know how to touch a man. You don't go into a relationship for 7 months and be angry nothing touch feely been going on. When you first date a woman, you tell her what ... (read in full...)
She says I don't stand up for her and it's put a strain on our relationship! What should I do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend are having some serious problems, and I think we may be about to break up. Our problems occurred from Wednesday - Sunday last week. We saw eachother on Monday and Tuesday and everything was fine. On Wednesday and Thursday she...
A. 7 February 2010: She is controlling, childish, fault finding. Break up with her and tell her she would be so much happier with someone else.... (read in full...)
Would this mean she had sex with another man?
Q. My girlfriend went out partying and didnt come home till noon the next day That night we started having sex About 5 mins into it we stopped She was hiding her virgina when i asked to see it it was swole ang puffy than normal Did she have sex with a ...
A. 7 February 2010: The way you spell vagina is funny. It reminds me of Borat in the movie saying vagine. Vaginas get swolen and puffy when we are horny. Maybe the alcohol made her blood go down there. Her hiding her virginia makes her look guilty. Whether it's a big ... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with a married girl
Q. Hi, I am a complete novice at this but I need advice. I have a nature of being a friendly flirt all harmless though. Ok a Girl started working where I work and has only been married for two months, I noticed she was always alone so I just started ...
A. 7 February 2010: If she hasn't thought about divorce yet, that's because it's a dreading long procedure, especially her husband is controlling. You are the only thing sweet in her life right now so she's thinking heck, it's tough, but I can deal with it. At least I ... (read in full...)
I've said I wont move back in until he is divorced, so why is he taking so long
Q. hi there, i met my partner 4 years ago, he told me he was seperated and looking for a new relationship, we clicked right away and we were in love in a few weeks i thot he was the most well mannered man id ever met he is 16 years older than me i was ...
A. 6 February 2010: As long as you are around, do you think his wife would want to divorce him, thinking that half of his money would go to you? You need to stop seeing him. Without the sex, he would be so miserable that he wants out. But maybe he would hook up with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is very controlling
Q. Should I be with a guy that I was with four years and was a secret. He never took me where he lived and never took me to his parents. I always felt hurt about it cause my past relationship was not like that I would cry to him sayiing I don't want it ...
A. 6 February 2010: He is controlling to the point you can't even break up with him. Luckily you could decide what you do with you body. He cannot love you. His family cannot love you. There is nothing you missed the whole time you didn't see his family. Sounds like ... (read in full...)
It creeps me out that he keeps trying things when he thinks I'm asleep!
Q. I really don't know where to begin but my boyfriend does things to me in my sleep, for example last night he wrapped my hair around his penis and started masterbating. He also puts his hand down my pj's and feels around but I don't let him achieve ...
A. 6 February 2010: Tell him you feel like you are being preyed upon. He might have a hair fetish or "I want to do stuff to my sleeping girlfriend" fetish. You only told us what he did to you one time. Only you could tell if his fetish is pathological. Like, if he ... (read in full...)
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