I think I'm dating a jerk!
Q. I think I'm dating a jerk - but maybe it's just me? We go to dinner on the one year anniversary of our first date (not the one year anniversary of the relationship) and he asks me to split it with him because he lost his ATM card and didn't have ...
A. 17 November 2013: Good for you.
Did you by chance notice that his apology was tied in with putting the "blame" on you? You fault he did what he did?
Sounds like he still don't get it and perhaps never will (not at his age) I don't believe in the old dog new tric... (read in full...)
I think I'm dating a jerk!
Q. I think I'm dating a jerk - but maybe it's just me? We go to dinner on the one year anniversary of our first date (not the one year anniversary of the relationship) and he asks me to split it with him because he lost his ATM card and didn't have ...
A. 16 November 2013: Wow he really doesn't sound like a keeper. More like an immature bugger.
He seriously ran off laughing because you tried to look out for him?
I agree with Auntie Em, look like he is acting like an asshat so that YOU will be the one breaking up ... (read in full...)
Do I owe a family member because she allowed me to park my car at her place?
Q. I need advice so I bought my very first car by myself. I'm so happy. When I look at my car I just smile and just glow because I did it all working 2 part time jobs. Taking up to 4/6 buses a day. So I worked hard for my car. Now here's what I need ...
A. 25 October 2013: Good for you :)
And yes, telling your cousin no or hell no! to using your car is smart, you can however give him some tips on how much it takes to BUY his own.
Enjoy your lunch with your aunt.... (read in full...)
Is it usual for guy 1 to ask about other dates?
Q. Hi, another internet dating question. If you are talking to more than one guy, is it usual for guy 1 to ask you if you've got any other dates lined up? Basically guy 1 chatted to me for ages, and when I asked to meey.him he ssid he would if he w...
A. 24 October 2013: I think it's OK to ask and you did the right thing, you told the truth.
Basically #1 is telling you that if #2 doesn't work out for more dates, to give him a "poke" and he will take you out on a date.
Yes, asking where is none of his business,... (read in full...)
My parents abandoned me and now they are asking me for help! Please help me deal with the anger?
Q. I have a little issue - I was raised by my grandmother because I am the 1st born child and both my parents remarried after I was born. I never really had much contact with both of them growing up and actually thought my grandma was my mother until I ...
A. 24 October 2013: I agree with CMMP - don't waste your energy on being angry with them, maybe all in all you were better off with your grandmother instead of your selfish parents.(sorry but that is how I see 2 parents who BOTH abandon their child).
But sincerel... (read in full...)
How do I deal with the silent treatment?
Q. How should I deal with a known narcissists "silent treatment"? He is my boyfriend. This is the second time he has done this in a six month period. He cursed at me about two weeks ago and I couldn't take the abuse anymore and let him know how I ...
A. 24 October 2013: Yes there is a magical trick that cure that right away...
YOU DUMP the asshat!
Most women rather have a guy yell at then (verbal abuse) then get the silent treatment. Guys like YOUR BF knows that, and that is his ultimate weapon in gettin... (read in full...)
Do I owe a family member because she allowed me to park my car at her place?
Q. I need advice so I bought my very first car by myself. I'm so happy. When I look at my car I just smile and just glow because I did it all working 2 part time jobs. Taking up to 4/6 buses a day. So I worked hard for my car. Now here's what I need ...
A. 24 October 2013: I agree she DID do you a favor, and yes the polite think should be to pay it back IF she asks - doesn't mean you are now her personal chauffeur.
When people do favors, it is NICE to give back. Family or not. It's the decent thing to do.
I... (read in full...)
I don't want to ruin our friendship over sex. Should I just come out and say it!
Q. There is a woman I used to work with that became a good friend, though we rarely see each other. We're both in our early 50's. I did some repair work on her home a few times. I am separated from my cheating liar wife, she is married. About a year ...
A. 24 October 2013: I'm with YouWish.
You are MAD at your wife for her cheating and lying, so why would it be OK for HER (your friend) to cheat on HER husband with you? Where is YOUR moral compass?
I think you NEED to spell it out to her, before she makes a fool... (read in full...)
I want to make some positive changes in my life but I don't seem to be making any progress
Q. I cant help but feel like I've dug myself into a bit of a hole over the years. For a while now, I've been wanting to make some positive changes in my life to get myself out of it, but I just don't seem to get anywhere. I find myself drift in and out ...
A. 24 October 2013: Well it's all good that you WANT all these things for yourself, but you need to realize that only ONE person can make them happen (or TRY to make them happen) and that is YOU.
Don't start out thinking you can do them all on one afternoon or one w... (read in full...)
Anxiety after losing my virginity to my cousin. Please help!
Q. About 2 years ago, i lost my virginity to my cousin, and just a few days ago, i got baked with some friends and i went home and was laying in my bed and just thought about my life and what have i done with it, and the topic came up in my head and it ...
A. 24 October 2013: First of all, you ask what you should tell a girl about your "status" of virginity.
Be honest, tell her you lost it and it wasn't a great experience. YOU DO NOT have to explain WHO you lost it to or the circumstances.
How much older was this c... (read in full...)
I'm feeling depressed and taken for granted. Please help me to deal with this?
Q. I have been with my partner for 5 years now. We have had an ok relationship, it's had its good parts and its bad but we've usually battled on together. Recently i have come to realise that it is likely that I have depression. On top of this I feel ...
A. 24 October 2013: Start by NOT trying to assign blame, but to be proactive. GO see your doctor, and get help with the depression part of it.
When someone is depressed they think it's just about them and their feelings, but it really isn't it has a really negative... (read in full...)
My parents abandoned me and now they are asking me for help! Please help me deal with the anger?
Q. I have a little issue - I was raised by my grandmother because I am the 1st born child and both my parents remarried after I was born. I never really had much contact with both of them growing up and actually thought my grandma was my mother until I ...
A. 24 October 2013: I think you have every right for you anger. I would be pissed off myself if my parents treated me that way.
Here is my question, do you WANT to get to know them? Do you want them in your life?
If you do, I would talk to them about that but a... (read in full...)
If he is who he says he is then I'm definitely interested
Q. I'm a smart, successful, attractive woman in my 30s, and, even though I have very progressive, healthy attitudes towards dating and sex, I can't help but feel a bit like an idiot. I went out with a man I met online last weekend who was new to the ...
A. 24 October 2013: I too don't think NOT having sex is playing games or punishment (punishment for what?). But I think NOT having sex the first few dates is smart and safer.
You met this guy online and got drunk on the first date, went home with him and had sex. You... (read in full...)
My husband told me he was in love with another woman
Q. I do not know where to even go with this. My husband and his step-sister sat me down and informed me that they have been in love for over 30 years and that they would be together right now except they promised her dad that they would not. My ...
A. 24 October 2013: I'm with Tish.
This is absolutely heartbreaking and marriage -ending in my book.
I would start looking into a divorce lawyer and get it over with.
One thing is a childhood crush or something, but 30 years? Yea, I wouldn't want to be seco... (read in full...)
Is it cowardice to rather die in a dream than live in reality?
Q. Is it cowardice to rather die in a dream than live in reality? In a dream you choose to be and do exactly how you wish things to be, while in reality you're forced to accept the hand that is dealt and make it work. Is it cowardice to escape...
A. 24 October 2013: It's kind of like stomping your foot and refusing to be a grown up and have responsibilities. You can do that in private, but it's not going to work.
A LITTLE escapism is good. It can charge your batteries. Living constantly in a dream world, o... (read in full...)
I'm hoping this co-worker doesn't have a thing for me -- do I have reason to be worried?
Q. Ok my question is about a man from work,he's always really nice to me which is fine, but he's 40 and I am 24 But I'm starting to worry slightly as during presentations (he's senior management) he always seems to hold my eye contact A LOT! And then I ...
A. 24 October 2013: I too agree with SVC.
And like Daisy said you don't HAVE to verbally confront him, you can just move out of range. It will send a signal for him to NOT touch you. Now if he KEEP on doing it despite you moving away, then you DO need to put on your ... (read in full...)
I'd like at least one photo of him!
Q. Okay guys here is my biggest challenge. My new bf does not want me to take photos of him or even with him. How can I convinc him or make a deal to be able to take maybe just 1? He said even his mom has almost no photos of him. The years books don't ...
A. 24 October 2013: Hum, I find it a little odd, but why not just RESPECT his choice?
Not everyone wants to be on FB and live their lives though social media.
If you are worried that he might be married or whatnot, spend the $6 on a background check.... (read in full...)
Ex is telling embarrassing personal details!
Q. My ex from 5 years started telling people about 2 years ago some very personal information of mine. Why he is doing this I don't know but I am horrified to the point where I can't stop thinking about it. We have had no contact now for years and I ...
A. 24 October 2013: Wow, he sounds like a bitter pill!
There isn't anything you CAN do. I know it's not pleasant to have an ex tell people things you rather not get out, but you CAN NOT control what he does or what he says.
If someone bring up that EX told the... (read in full...)
I think I'm dating a jerk!
Q. I think I'm dating a jerk - but maybe it's just me? We go to dinner on the one year anniversary of our first date (not the one year anniversary of the relationship) and he asks me to split it with him because he lost his ATM card and didn't have ...
A. 24 October 2013: My first reaction was, why didn't you pay the bill? It was $30 dinner not a $250. Either of you could have treated the other.
Did you know before going out that he lost his card? Or did he spring it on you when the check shows up?
Was this the ... (read in full...)
Don't want to look desperate here ...
Q. A met a very nice man last weekend. I am not sure wether he approached me on purpose but we ended up talking for a bit. After he added me on FB, I thanked him for giving me a ride and offered to buy him a froyo (there is a famous froyo store down...
A. 23 October 2013: Pick another spot that is more convenient for you, problem solved.
I don't think it makes you sound desperate if you walk quite a ways to have coffee, if makes you seem interested.
Just sensing... From what you write you don't really seem all ... (read in full...)
Should I stay in contact with him after such a rocky start?
Q. Okay I just recently joined another dating site. It is a little different from the ones I have been on. It is a site for people who are spiritual and are into healing. I tried it out for free for about a week and then I get a message from a guy who ...
A. 23 October 2013: So why aren't you taking this as a hint to IGNORE this fella and move on? I'm betting there are guys who ARE worth your time on the dating site, this one.. isn't.
Nothing you have written about this guy makes me (to be frank) think OH WOW what a w... (read in full...)
My ex named his daughter after me??
Q. Hi, I got a txt of my ex of over 4 years, who ismarried for two years Now, he told me he Christened his daughter after me, what does this mean? Why does he need to tell me this after all theses years? ...
A. 23 October 2013: I think it's a combination of several things.
1. you were a big part of his life
2. it's a cool name
3. his wife loves the name (but doesn't associate it with you).
Are you sure that HE actually got to pick the name? (*hence #3)
I ... (read in full...)
Is this an early indicator that the relationship isn't going to go anywhere?
Q. Hi, I was wondering what people think of this theory? I have noticed that anyone I've dated in the past will never get past the dating phase when they never use your name in texts, conversations, anything, even if they do pay all sorts of com...
A. 23 October 2013: I think some guys tend to use nick-names instead of your first name, just so they won't screw up by calling you by an ex's name, other then that, I think, you are over analyzing it.
I do think using your first name here and there is nice, speciall... (read in full...)
My heart says give him another chance. My gut says run.
Q. I broke up with my boyf of near two years about a month ago. I wanted to do this for a while, our relationship was far from perfect, i'll explain this quickly just so you have the entire story: he drunkenly cheated on me in our own bed and I walked ...
A. 23 October 2013: I have to ask, WHAT are you getting out of all this drama?
YOU should follow your gut, and you know it. I think the fact that you two were together for so long, and you (like many young women) think that a "stormy relationship" is a sign of LOVE ... (read in full...)
We work together and my ex is trying to remain friends. I don't need the drama!
Q. So my ex-gf has been trying to maintain a friendly contact with me. I have ignored her for the most part because I told her I do not do the friend thing with exes. We work together so it has been hard, and although I have maintained a professional ...
A. 23 October 2013: I agree with the other posters. Decide WHAT you want and then stick to it.
Either you want NO contact (except work) or you want some contact.
I would suggest you tell her from now on, only contact I WANT from you is about work, nothing else. I ... (read in full...)
I know I should just break up with my girlfriend but I can't stand to break her heart!
Q. i have been with my girlfriend for 3 years and its been pretty rocky for the last year. we fight alot and dont really seem to have much in common. its one of the situations where we cant stand each other but both truly love each other. i had caught ...
A. 23 October 2013: I think the sooner you end it and move out the better. You are risking that she might get pregnant on purpose to try and "make" you stay.
Also, if she did have an abortion she is without a doubt having some emotional issues with it, that she isn'... (read in full...)
My ex-bf's girlfriend walks around in her underwear around me and my boyfriend?
Q. So I need some advice on what to do. I'm going to try and keep this short. I met this guy, we'll call him joe. Met him, dated a month. When he kept pressuring me for sex I still said no, he got tired of waiting for me and broke up. Fast forward 2 ...
A. 22 October 2013: What point would you make if you did that? That you are ready to wrestle in the gutter with her?
IGNORE her and KEEP ignoring her. Sooner or later the games stop being fun for her. Right now I'm BETTING she knows she is getting a raise out of y... (read in full...)
I think my married friend that I work with is attracted to me and I don't feel the same way!
Q. I have a friend whom Ive known for about three years. He is 35 I am 45. We are also now work colleagues although I only work at the same place one day per week. He introduced me there by asking his boss to let me cover for him whilst he was posted ...
A. 22 October 2013: If you know he feels so strongly about you, I would pull back. This can end so badly for you. 1. because you work together and 2. because he is married.
Combine that with his mental health, I'd let him go.
... (read in full...)
Is it OK to go on dates with more than one guy?
Q. Dear agonyaunts, I am 27 and most friends my age are either married or in stable relationships. I have had two unsuccessful long-distance relationships and I am seriously trying to find a guy who is a good match and is worth sharing a life with. ...
A. 22 October 2013: If it's a coffee date then normally I would say yes, I don't see the problem, but I would be upfront about it. There would also be no kissing, no PDA and certainly no sex. Since the guys might know each other I think the LEAST you can do is being ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can be really rude when he's stressed
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating since last august. I noticed that about a few months ago, he started to take his stress out on me in a very hurtful way. Basically whenever he is stressed out, he is just not very loving and is rude to me. He ...
A. 22 October 2013: I'm with Abella,
There is no excuse for it. Being stressed can make people have a shorter fuse, but if this is his standard MO, then this will continue and perhaps even escalate.
What kind of help has he sought out to "fix" it? Nothing right?
... (read in full...)
How do I stop beating myself up?
Q. Hello, just a quick question maybe a daft one but answers may help,have any guys got tips on how to not beat my stuff over things and dwell on them? for example I did go the gym 3 years back and started doing well but lost motivation and want to ...
A. 21 October 2013: Everyone are their own worst critic. Nothing strange there, so no worries.
As for the GYM, stop letting yourself ruin it. If you decide that you HAVE to go 2 times a week, then STICK to it. After a few weeks you up it to 3-4 then 5 days a week and... (read in full...)
Is it rude to not acknowledge a thank you?
Q. If you recieve a gift for a birthday from someone. Is it rude not to say thank you? A did it rude not to respond to the thank you....even if you don't really like the person? My son's birthday, and he got a gift from his grandparents (on...
A. 21 October 2013: It must be hard trying and getting nothing but snubs in return, my suggesting is to NOT take it personal, but keep taking the high road.
They might somehow hold YOU responsible for their son's actions and for how YOU (totally justified I might ad... (read in full...)
I'm at a breaking point because of his rejections!
Q. I know this question gets asked alot but I'm still confused about my situation. I'm head over heels in love with my boyfriend of over a year so was delighted when he asked me to move in with him recently. He's so caring and sweet to me he's the o...
A. 21 October 2013: Do NOT move in with him. I would actually back off a bit and stop sleeping over for a while.Make him do the chasing again. Be a little less available for a while.
Yes, I would feel like he wants a cook& maid, more then a partner.
I know that t... (read in full...)
Would a guy ever leave a woman if he really loved her?
Q. My ex boyfriend broke up with me and said.. "I'll always love you..You were an amazing girlfriend" What does this mean?? Would a guy ever leave a woman if he really loved her?...
A. 21 October 2013: You can love someone and not want to BE with them. Loving someone isn't a guaranty that it will work out long term.
So, yes a person can love someone and still leave them. And a person can leave someone and still love them.
... (read in full...)
Is it rude to not acknowledge a thank you?
Q. If you recieve a gift for a birthday from someone. Is it rude not to say thank you? A did it rude not to respond to the thank you....even if you don't really like the person? My son's birthday, and he got a gift from his grandparents (on...
A. 21 October 2013: I'm with Tish and Cindy.
Depending on the age of your son He REALLY should be signing the Thank You note with his name (most kids can do that at age 3+), you can write the rest. I know Texting is how many people conduct their lives these days, bu... (read in full...)
He said the message on his phone was a trap to see if I was snooping
Q. Hi im in a relationship with an aries, I saw on his phone msgs to another woman saying he had feelings for her apparently she was in spain, I asked him about this as I was packing to leave, things got heated n he said he didnt want me to leave, we ...
A. 21 October 2013: Well, snooping IS bad and invading someone's privacy. And having privacy is vital, but so is having trust.
The fact that you can't smell his BS miles away shows that you are in utter denial, you want to believe what he told you, because that wou... (read in full...)
Dodged a bullet, but still can't get her out of my mind
Q. I am 21, so it feels ignorant to even be stressing this situation, but I have for an entire year now, and ALL I want to do is let go. I dated a girl that was my entire world for about 10 months, and she has a child. The child became very atta...
A. 21 October 2013: She sounds like she was desperate to be married more then finding a man whom SHE loved and who LOVED her back. Love has nothing to do with it. It's about the "status" and "safety" marriage brings to her. She thinks that IF she gets married she is ... (read in full...)
Did fate bring us together at the speed dating event? And is this considered a relationship based on infatuation or real love?
Q. Dear Cupid, I might be cynical in saying this, but I didn't believe that fate could bring two people together as it was always something I saw depicted in movies. Never have I ever experienced love like this when I met my current boyfriend who li...
A. 21 October 2013: I too, don't believe in fate. But that doesn't mean because you two met at a speed dating event that you two didn't connect and won't stay connected. I think your relationship is based on infatuation and common ground. That CAN over time turn into ... (read in full...)
What kind of costumes or looks would you recommend? Because the manager's demands seem unreasonable.
Q. I'm a restaurant server and our manager just sent out a ridiculous memo. We have to wear costumes for the week of Halloween or we do not get our tips. I feel this is unethical and illegal. I also learned that if we order through the catalog ...
A. 21 October 2013: What kind of restaurant do you work at?
1. He can not MAKE you buy HIS costumes.
2. He CAN make you wear one though. Not sure how he can with hold your tips. If this is a franchise restaurants, I'd call HQ and ask about their policies.
3. ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's found out about my hook-up? I don't want to text him because I don't want to annoy him
Q. I went on a date with this guy and It went well, his definitely my type. We've texted each other and are always flirty and he said we definitely have to hangout again. However there was a party I went to and one thing lead to another I hooked u...
A. 21 October 2013: First of, if you two only had one date, it's not like you OWE him fidelity or exclusivity (unless that was discussed already).
However, IF you thought that guy was someone you COULD date, why hook up with some random stranger? It makes no sense.
... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is going mad because he's convinced I'm cheating on him!
Q. Hi my boyfriends thinks im cheating on him i would never do that ! he keeps on recording me and then he says he can hear me with men, i think he is going mad because i no i have never done anythink and he is sure i am i dont no how to make him ...
A. 21 October 2013: He is RECORDING you? Is he nuts?
And you think you somehow have to PROVE to him that you are in fact not cheating? Are you nuts?
Sorry, but that sounds utterly dysfunctional and unhealthy.
It's not going to change, if you stay in this rela... (read in full...)
Then I met this guy.. He is a friend. But am I being led up the garden path here?
Q. I'm hoping some lovely aunts/uncles can advise me / voice your opinions and tell me if I'm being an idiot. I came out of an emotionally and slightly physical relationship at the start of the year, it was pretty horrendous and took me a while to...
A. 20 October 2013: I think you did the right thing.
I don't think HE on the other hand gets how he is affecting you. He sees it as a friendship and you (I think) want more.
He isn't a mind reader and unlike your ex, he isn't out to hurt you by not contacting y... (read in full...)
My son is asking questions about his absent father, what should I do?
Q. My son, who is 5 years old, has started asking about his dad, and wants to see him. Thing is when the relationship ended, it ended really really badly. He hasn't seen his son for a long time, when he left he made the decision to walk out on me A...
A. 20 October 2013: Like Janniepeg said, I would make the explanation short and to the point, nothing about the relationship or him as a person.
Kids don't need long or complex explanations, just try and avoid lies, glorifying him or/and talking smack (even if the d... (read in full...)
What shall I do if my old manager gets this job?
Q. Hi, Please help. About 8 years ago I left my job in a call centre because of my manager. She took an instant dislike to me and made my job miserable that I started getting panic attacks. I left there and started another job in another c...
A. 19 October 2013: I agree with Caring Guy.... (read in full...)
Should I stay in contact with him after such a rocky start?
Q. Okay I just recently joined another dating site. It is a little different from the ones I have been on. It is a site for people who are spiritual and are into healing. I tried it out for free for about a week and then I get a message from a guy who ...
A. 29 September 2013: For me he would go in the NO! pile. The fact that he verbally "attacked" you and criticized you for your preference in men (30'ish guys) - he sounds like this is who he is - and yes, I think he is mad at you for talking to him yet going on a date ... (read in full...)
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