Block him or fight for him?
Q. I discovered my boyfriend was cheating on me even after he knew my past of being cheated on and how badly hurt I was. I was so surprised because he earned my trust for over a year and a half before we even did anything. I really trusted him because ...
A. 17 October 2013: Good for you!
Now who is the stupid one again? HIM - It's nice to know that there are people who actually take the advice people here on DC tries to give and more importantly that it works for you.
I hope your continued journey will bring you h... (read in full...)
Block him or fight for him?
Q. I discovered my boyfriend was cheating on me even after he knew my past of being cheated on and how badly hurt I was. I was so surprised because he earned my trust for over a year and a half before we even did anything. I really trusted him because ...
A. 9 October 2013: ********I guess this has taught me the downsides of creepin and the downsides of responding to him. All those things do is get me in to trouble and make me feel like an idiot.****
You said it yourself, YOU make yourself "feel" DUMB when you PLAY... (read in full...)
Why do men stop talking in mid sentence?
Q. What does it mean when a man stops talking in mid-sentence? A few times he has stopped talking in the middle of his sentence.. I do not know if he was trying not to hurt my feelings or he was trying to keep from speaking his true feelings...
A. 29 September 2013: He he normally a talkative and eloquent speaker? If not, maybe he didn't know how to express his sentiment in a way that would make sense.
Or he thought your "live or die" statement was a tad to dramatic and didn't know how to explain that wit... (read in full...)
Feeling confused and upset. Was the unsuccessful sex, with my housemate and friend, his fault, my fault, the alcohol, or none of that, and why?
Q. I'm 19 years old, my housemate (male) is the same age. I've never really been attracted to him really, he's always been "just a friend" Anyhow, we got REALLY drunk a few nights ago and ended up chatting until gone 4am when we went to his room. He...
A. 29 September 2013: Doubt it was your "fault" at all.
He was tired and drunk, which can easily end up in a "can't stay hard" episode.
I'd let it go. If you two get drunk again, don't try and have sex. Wait til you are both sober and both want it.... (read in full...)
How do I go on being NOT the so-nice understanding friend victim into the real me?
Q. This is probably the weirdest most disghusting querry you'll ever read, but I'm afraid I need an insight on this one and how to deal with this tricky situation to say the least. I happen to have a friend who whenever she comes to my place, use...
A. 28 September 2013: Now your first update makes more sense as to why you are mad at her. You invited her over for a cooked meal and she treated you in a way friends don't do. She made plans with someone else and asked for the meal to go? I would have told her Fuck no! ... (read in full...)
I think we're on a break. What do I do from here?
Q. My boyfriend and I have apparently went on a forced break by him, not me. We've been together for 3 years. He's 35 and I'm 31. We don't live together and would see each other once or twice a week and then spend the weekends together. We started ...
A. 28 September 2013: Call him and ask him over so you two can figure out where you stand. You can't presume to be on a break he might be presuming that you BROKE up already - so eiuther TALK over the phone (no texting) or face to face and figure out where you stand.
... (read in full...)
Should I even bother trying to be friends with this guy again?
Q. Helloo. c8 So, turns out I was kinda thrown into a situation. This male once-friend of mine (let's call him Tim) asked me to the dance, and I said no, because I had a boyfriend. I hadn't told him beforehand that I did, because I don't really car...
A. 28 September 2013: He is mad because he thought he had you "bagged" - that all he had to do was ask you out. You friend-zoned him and he didn't even know - so yea he is bitter and petty.
He isn't CAPABLE of being a friend. He wanted more. Now all he wants is to ma... (read in full...)
Was I wrong for being careful with a guy from an online dating site?
Q. First, I went online to the dating site that I had been on and while I was off I had joined a few others just to make friends and pen pals. I sent a flirt to this person and he was a nice looking guy and a message also. He responded back to me and ...
A. 28 September 2013: Oh you did the right thing.
I mean who would meet up wit ha total stranger and not know their name? Or invite them to their house?
The dude was after sex - he wanted to come to your place.. You are/were both stranger so inviting one int... (read in full...)
How do I cope with the breakdown of my parents marriage?
Q. Hi everyone, just hoping for a bit of advice. My mum has just started the menopause and now is saying that she wants my dad to move out. They have been together for over 30 years and while I admit they have had their ups and downs, I have never se...
A. 28 September 2013: I think you mom have decided that 30 years of "this" is enough - so listen to her and be there for her if you can.
Doesn't your mom deserve some happiness? Even if it means NOT with your dad? After all she gave him 30 years and he gave HER 30 y... (read in full...)
What advice should I give my friend about dating/sex?
Q. Here goes nothing. I have a friend of my mine who is a girl that disclosed some stuff to me. We are close friends. Basically she "dated" this guy for about 3 weeks. I put in quotes because until the 3rd week - they really didn't go on full blown ...
A. 28 September 2013: First of all, is he in the military? Because they get tested every 6 months.
1. Does she WANT a relationship or a casual sex partner? My guess is she agreed to being casual because she think he will change his mind and fall in love with her. NOT... (read in full...)
How can I not be tight after having sex just once?
Q. Hi guys! I wanna ask some advice from u. I have a first boyfriend now at my 28yrs of age. He's been my bf for a week. Then he was assigned to my area and s0mething happened to us. It is my first time to have sex in my entire life. I wanna ask why is ...
A. 28 September 2013: First of all, your vagina is a MUSCLE so it won't go "slack" or "loose" after 1 time. And each vagina is a different size and shape (just like men's penis).
The guy could have been of a "smaller" girth (the measurement around the shaft) and sinc... (read in full...)
What's the difference between "real sex" and soft, vanilla-porn?
Q. I have yet to be in a relationship or, as pathetic as it is to admit, have sex (mostly because - and it's not a low self-esteem thing - I'm unattractive; women aren't interested in me, never have and it seems like never will; I get it, and I'm okay ...
A. 28 September 2013: Porn is scripted.
Sex is not.
It's that simple.
Auntie Shrodingerscat did a good job explaining why there is a HUGE difference from porn to sex (from a woman's perspective).
... (read in full...)
How do I go on being NOT the so-nice understanding friend victim into the real me?
Q. This is probably the weirdest most disghusting querry you'll ever read, but I'm afraid I need an insight on this one and how to deal with this tricky situation to say the least. I happen to have a friend who whenever she comes to my place, use...
A. 28 September 2013: I wouldn't "confront" her or tell her to NEVER use my bathroom either - that is ridiculous.
BUT if you don't like others on your potty, meet up at the bus stop. It's that simple.
If she has Chrons, IBS or any other medical condition that m... (read in full...)
How Can I Help Him Help Me Cum?
Q. I've never came before. I've been having sex since turning 17 4 years ago and not one of my ex' that I had sex with made me cum, nor has my current boyfriend. I find receiving oral (in a way) very ticklish and feel like I can't take anymore but...
A. 27 September 2013: Make YOURSELF orgasm, when you can do that SHOW your BF how you do it and let him have a go at it.
I would NOT go with inserting toys but use the vibrating ones on your clitoris, because insertion does nothing for you (which is normal for most wom... (read in full...)
Should I invite my mother wedding dress shopping, even though it will be stressful?
Q. Hi! So my question is probably a little different. Im wondering whether or not I shoud ask my mom to come with me when I go Wedding dress shopping. I love my mom, but we really dont get along. My fiance and I actually live with her, we moved into ...
A. 27 September 2013: I would invite her no matter what. I assume your friends know your mom and her situation.
YOU know how she is, and if you are aware of it I think you can prevent ruining the shopping day.
What you COULD do as well is showing her some of the ... (read in full...)
Do you just let your ex become a stranger?
Q. My ex isnt willing to see me with someone new and i dont want to see his either so we defriended each other on facebook (FYI: It was a bad breakup) We are in different countries so we will never ever see each other again. Do you guys just let your ...
A. 27 September 2013: The emphasis is on WAS. He WAS one the most important person to you, he no longer is.
Are you supposed to let them become a stranger?
Not if you don't want to, but keeping people around just to keep them around isn't always a good thing eithe... (read in full...)
How do I respond to this friend who seems to be upset that I've become a happy stay at home mom?
Q. I recently moved overseas with my husband. We hav a baby and i amcrrently a stay at home mom. Iv known this friend since childhood .we went to the same school and she was also my bridesmaid. We were not best friends but we were good friends and she ...
A. 27 September 2013: Guess it's time to accept that you two have out grown each other. You have become a mom with the focus on your family and she is who she is.
Just because she doesn't approve of your choice (to be a stay at home mom) doesn't give her the right to... (read in full...)
One minute he wants marriage, the next he gives me up?
Q. His feelings are so wishy washy One minute he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me then the next he says Im his bestfriend. Then he'll say that he wants to be committed and then get married and then next he says, I should be with s...
A. 27 September 2013: "Committed without the label"? What in the world is that? YOU might think he is committed, but everything you write says he isn't feeling it, because he is all over the place with his actions and emotions.
Either you are a couple (and YES that is ... (read in full...)
My husband of 9 years cheated for numerous times. How can I get over this?
Q. I have asked for help several time on dear cupid and now need more advice. I found out my husband of 9 years cheated. Not just once, but this went on for months during the most difficult time of our lives. It hurts me more because he didnt feel bad ...
A. 27 September 2013: It is easier to forgive then forget. And something you will just never forget, his betrayal is one of those things.
You have said you will try and work it out, so hold back with the forgiveness. You are not ready yet. And THAT is OK. Forgiven... (read in full...)
A conversation about a friend led to resentment of my wife's different treatment of me and her ex lovers.
Q. aqwsasThe other night at supper I was telling my wife of 32 years about a young lady at work. This woman was telling a story about a friend of hers who worked three jobs and when he came home from work his wife turned their three kids over to him ...
A. 27 September 2013: You wife might find swallowing/blow-jobs disgusting. So what? MANY women (and quite a few men are not fans of oral sex and what comes with it. It's a personal preference.
But I think her comment was the fact that the wife (in the story) had to T... (read in full...)
Afraid of coming across as "too available"
Q. I would like help from everyone, but am searching more for that guy perspective: I've met this awesome guy, and I think we clicked from the moment we introduced ourselves to each other. I really like hanging out with him, but I worry that if I ...
A. 27 September 2013: I don't believe in games or pretending to be something you are not. HOWEVER, I do think it's good when you are dating someone to ALSO have a life of your own. Go out with friends, go home for dinner, stick to your hobbies or what not.
I have see... (read in full...)
Block him or fight for him?
Q. I discovered my boyfriend was cheating on me even after he knew my past of being cheated on and how badly hurt I was. I was so surprised because he earned my trust for over a year and a half before we even did anything. I really trusted him because ...
A. 27 September 2013: Fight for what? For him to use you some more? To play you for a fool a while longer?
He can't even carry on a serious conversation with you.
My guess is he saw you as a notch in his bed post. You two weren't dating you just slept together. ... (read in full...)
Crush on my clinical instructor, think he likes me but acts weird.
Q. Hi Everyone, I am 27 years old and in an accelerated nursing program. I have a crush on my clinical instructor. I thought he liked me too, I think he is not married (no ring) and he is maybe 10 years older than me. The reasons I think he likes me is ...
A. 27 September 2013: Honey, whether you are dumb as a rock or the star student, you are not the only student in his class - he NEEDS to help them all. My guess he he chose another group because you do fine.
Also he is a teacher/instructor so I really think you need... (read in full...)
The guy I like went back to his ex because he misses the child. What should I do?
Q. Please can someone help me what to do I am so much in love with a guy who loves me to but he's gone back to his ex cos he misses his son which isn't his biologically but has been there since born little one is 3 now he texts me everyday telling me ...
A. 27 September 2013: He didn't just go back because of the baby - he want back because the MOM & the BABY.
Cut the contact. He made his choice, but not he is stringing you along playing his tiny violins preventing YOU from moving on while he gets to have two women in... (read in full...)
Why would he still want to keep the relationship if he has no time for me?
Q. Hi, it's been 3 months now and I only met my bf twice. I understood that he has just been promoted from his job and needs a lot of travel. But then during his free time, he wouldn't at least meet me for an hour or two regardless of the fact that his ...
A. 26 September 2013: End it, find a guy who wants you to be him 1st priority.
My guess is your current guy is stringing you along til he find greener grass (or a girl who lets him do as he pleases). The relationship (as it stands now) IS NOT making you happy so why k... (read in full...)
What should I do about my ex and dating my friend?
Q. So my boyfriend (lets call him, George) of 8months and i currently broke up (14th Sept) and i went out the same night and spent time with one of my friends lets call him Pete. So Pete came and picked me up that night because i was upset and fe...
A. 26 September 2013: You take some time with no physical stuff with Pete and take is SLOW SLOW SLOW - you are BOTH on the rebound.
Neither of you are ready for a new relationship.
What do you do about George? Well, he broke up with you so that is over ( I would p... (read in full...)
Am I crazy is he cheating and taking me for a fool?
Q. Hi Guys and Girls A question about strange behaviour from my partner of 4 years. We live together and have done for 3 years. However I am always suspicious of him and keep checking his texts and Facebook messages. I like to go to bed early...
A. 26 September 2013: He might not be physically cheating but emotionally he is. The thing is he knows you keep forgiving him, so he will just "play" sorry and apologize - kiss and make up, then soon after he will start it back up.
I don't think he realize how detrimen... (read in full...)
I asked him out over facebook and don't know what to say if he calls and accepts?
Q. So I asked a guy out the other day, unfortunately via facebook although it was really my only option. We were studying together, but our course ended- we were never friends, but were only friendly terms.. The problem is that he doesn't use f...
A. 26 September 2013: Relax. When/If he calls find a day and time and meet up and go from there.
... (read in full...)
My date stared at me intensely all night. I mentioned it to him and he said we were too different??
Q. I've been getting along well with this guy. We went on a date a few days ago and it all went well. However, throughout the date all he did was stare. Please, I'm really not big headed. But it was so intense that I became really awkward and shy....
A. 25 September 2013: Eh, move on. If he can't take you telling him that the starring is a little unnerving, then maybe it's for the better to not try and date him no more.
Personally, I think he was just looking for an excuse to not see you again.
You can do be... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I don't have enough experience
Q. My boyfriend told me last night that he is concerned that I don't have enough sexual experience for him to get more serious about our relationship. He is concerned that since I have only been in one other serious relationship that I cant be ready ...
A. 25 September 2013: You having sex with 10 more guys is NOT going to make a difference.
Your BF is a douche and his only focus is his dick (sorry to be crude) But if he REALLY ACTUALLY CARED about you he would teach you and help you explore YOUR sexuality, not try ... (read in full...)
Why do some people not have stretch marks?
Q. I have a question about stretch marks... How come some people don't have them? i've never seen the women in a porno have them, i know the pics are airbrushed but not the videos. Does anyone here not have them? I have them and it makes me feel li...
A. 25 September 2013: I'm 44, have had 3 kids and don't have any, my 13 year old daughter gained and lost 25 lbs pretty quick and she has them. My husband has them to, my guess she inherited that from him.
My daughter have been using Bio Oil and it seems to fade the... (read in full...)
How do I bring it up in a conversation to ask if he's married?
Q. On Saturday, I went to a club and danced with a guy. Since I was there with my friends, I didn't want to come back with him but I gave him my number and told him to meet me after. He said he needed to take his buddy back so it was perfect. Long...
A. 25 September 2013: WiseOwlE - dog tags don't have marital status on them, They have name, rank, SSN and religious denomination. His military ID only states name, rank, unit, SSN - activation dates - so that won't help her either. Funny enough only the spouses military ... (read in full...)
Does looking at and smiling at another woman in class mean a guy is interested in her?
Q. Hello. Just wondering what everybody thinks. My boyfriend is a group fitness instructor at a gym. I take part in some of his classes sometimes. What I noticed is that he has looked at an attractive blonde who is at the front of his cla...
A. 25 September 2013: I agree with SVC Smiling at a student (I'm betting you the blond isn't the only one he smiles at in class, just the one you are focused on).
There HAS something else going on, I would guess, because him smiling at a pretty blond makes you think yo... (read in full...)
She had a breakdown when I was her advisor and now 6 years later, she's sending me very strange emails. What do I do?
Q. About six years ago I advised a graduate student from China who didn't do well in the lab and failed to complete her project. She left with a Master's degree but also went a little nuts when she was here. I had to take her to the Psych ward at the ...
A. 25 September 2013: I agree with C Grant and Tish - IGNORE the e-mails. And contact HR/school board/IT department.
She has a huge crush on you and is obsessed. I DO think you need to watch out, because it you helping her happened 6 years ago and she NOW has decided ... (read in full...)
It feels like he blames me for finding out about this child with an ex of his!
Q. I've been married for almost 17-years. When we started dating (first year) we had sex almost everyday. After 5-months into our relationship, we were informed that my husband could be a dad from a former girlfriend (she had four boyfriends at the ...
A. 25 September 2013: You think his attitude and abusive behavior is ONLY stemming from that point in time where he was told to man up? I don't. I think THAT guy, is who he is. The fact that no matter how cruel he is to you, how much he punishes you, you STILL stick ... (read in full...)
I'm not making as much money so I'm behind on my alimony! Ideas?
Q. i need help, i have recently got married and had a baby with a beautiful 24 year old girl. my ex wife took me for alot of alimony, and i was ok to pay her for the first year she was awarded it for five years. im having difficulties now paying her ...
A. 25 September 2013: I'm sorry, you have only 2 choices.
1. finding the money and paying her.
2. contacting your lawyer and take her back to court.
YOU have started a new family has nothing to do with it, if you income HAS decreased then you have a chance at get... (read in full...)
Wife improves behavior but I cannot love her again
Q. My wife was abusive to me and our kids for over 10 years. She did many horrendous things, including verbal abuse, lying, manipulation, and, in general, not expressing any love to me and our kids. We talked about these things over time, but she was ...
A. 24 September 2013: If it was me, I think I would move out and take some time without being around her to figure out what you need to do for YOU.
You don't owe her anything. You do OWE yourself to figure out what YOU need.
Therapy might have helped her, but ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, then says I'll be amazing for someone else ?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a while now, we want to take things slow but he says things that make me feel like he doesn't want me. I'm left confused about the situation and I need some clarity. Last night he told me how much he Loved me....
A. 24 September 2013: I agree with Auntie Em, he is playing you.
He makes it out like he REALLY CARES about you, but what he says is this, you are a lovely girl, but I don't WANT you. He is trying to pull it off as YOU are too good for HIM.
Wish him good luck and le... (read in full...)
I worry that men think I'm only good for sex
Q. Even though I have had relationships in the past, lately I think sometimes that I am only good for sex and I guess it's because of the guys I meet. I am attractive and whenever I talk to them they just see my body and not my personality so I...
A. 24 September 2013: First of all WHERE do you meet all these men?
Are you on dating sites? Do you meet them in bars, parties? Where?
It might have to do with where you look. And how you present yourself and thirdly, what you allow. Maybe even with the guys you are... (read in full...)
How do I bring it up in a conversation to ask if he's married?
Q. On Saturday, I went to a club and danced with a guy. Since I was there with my friends, I didn't want to come back with him but I gave him my number and told him to meet me after. He said he needed to take his buddy back so it was perfect. Long...
A. 24 September 2013: I wouldn't call you a home wrecker or a "possible" one either. IF you KNEW going into it, and before you slept with him that he was married, then yes, you can hold that label. But you didn't so don't beat yourself up over that.
If he IS married ... (read in full...)
Why do I still want to talk to him after what he did?
Q. I'm currently having an issue getting over someone and I do not know why. I met this man about two years ago. He would come in to my place of work and talk to me quite frequently. I thought he was very sweet and charming and so when he asked fo...
A. 24 September 2013: I have no idea why you want to talk to that lying creep. My guess, is that you still see him as this "perfect guy" you though he was and you hang on to hope that he WILL be that guy for you. That YOU can change him. You can't.
Personally, I would ... (read in full...)
I don't want to think I'm damaged but how do I get over a bad relationship?
Q. I left a very abusive relationship a couple of months ago, and in class I've met a wonderful law student who is helping me with all the legal issues involving my ex. He has been very kind and supportive and always encourages me to keep pursuing ...
A. 24 September 2013: I think you are moving too fast, it's only been a couple of months since you got out of a bad relationship and into the bed with you "knight in shining armor".
I think your reactions was a tell-tale sing that you are NOT ready to date or "Bed"... (read in full...)
Should I move on or give him some time?
Q. I've been on a few dates with this guy and he has been a gentleman, very romantic etc. He tells me that he likes me over and over again and that he wants to get to know me. We have kissed and cuddled only. Now my problem/ confusion is tha...
A. 24 September 2013: It is not uncommon for people (these days) to date a few people at the same time til they figure out if one of them is someone they want to be exclusive with.
Seems to me that HE is doing just that.
And it seems to me that YOU do NOT date more... (read in full...)
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