I have a second chance with my ex but its on harsh terms- should I go for it?
Q. Hey all Its day 4 post breakup here, i havent started 'no contact' we are still talking every night all night (i know this is not the way to go) Our split was down to distance..5 years in an LDR with neither of us willing to give up our jobs ...
A. 15 November 2013: I think Cerberus is right. YOU are not thinking. YOU want to hold on to something that meant a LOT to you for years.
IF you two have spend 5 years in a LDR with NO ONE wanting to move closer, look for a new job, then it wasn't meant to be. I ga... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to listen to me when I need to talk to him seriously?
Q. I am so unhappy with my long distance boyfriend of 3 years but every time I try to initiate a talk he starts shouting or tells me I'm a nag or puts the phone down on me. I can't even tell him I want to break up with him because if I manage to say ...
A. 15 November 2013: As much as I HATE people breaking up through a text, If I were you. THAT is what I would do.
Simple text. I'm done with this relationship, it's over. I will be blocking your number so don't call/ don't text. Have a nice life.
Then YOU bloc... (read in full...)
I think she might be the one, but she's with someone else
Q. have i found the one? i`ve met this girl 2 months ago n in 2 months we grown to be good friends and i am developing feelings for her trouble is she is already in a relationship but she seems to like me n spends more time with me than she does her ...
A. 15 November 2013: You don't.
It's kind of simple. IF you CAN'T JUST be a friend then you need to back off and walk away.
She IS with someone else. HER choice.
HOW would you feel if your GF got a male friend and then he decided to hit on your GF?
And.. IF ... (read in full...)
Too soon to move on?
Q. Hi there. I'm 20 and 2 1/2 months ago my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me. He said he loves me and is happy with me but I'm not "the one". We never had any big arguments but he said we "aren't right" for each other. At first I was really upset but the ...
A. 15 November 2013: I think your "friend" is wrong. If you aren't ready THAT IS OK! Why isn't it fair? Because you are 20? Or because you already had sex with someone else? It's not about virginity here, it's about comfort level. So STICK to your comfort level.
Take ... (read in full...)
Am I right to let go because of cultural and religious differences?
Q. I need some advise regarding a coming break-up that I am going to face. My bf and I have been together since 2010, starting off as friends. We both know we will not end together eventually as he is a Muslim and I am a Christian. At one point he ...
A. 14 November 2013: I have to agree with WiseOwlE again.
I DO also think he was already engaged when he met you, but I think if you HAD been Muslim he might have been "allowed" to break that and marry you. But that might not even have happened. You have no idea wha... (read in full...)
Does it make any sense to forgive him and try to move on together?
Q. I have posted here before..I really need my awesome aunt and uncles help again. My boyfriend and I just got back together. We were split up for two months. We split up because one day he just wouldnt return my calls or texts. 4 days go by, I delete ...
A. 14 November 2013: I say forgive him, not for his sake but for yours. BUT DO NOT get back together. This will become a pattern for him. Just lying to you and making HIS actions all your fault.
I'm sorry he didn't text the chick and make her his GF and MOVE in with ... (read in full...)
He treats me like I'm a prisoner
Q. I need some advice. I've been with my fiancé for 3 years and he has two kids. His youngest just got into pre school so I got a job for the past 3 years he didn't want me to work just to take of the kids and the house and I was fine with that. But ...
A. 14 November 2013: My question is this WHY do you let him dictate your life? He doesn't OWN you. IF you want a part time job then GO GET ONE. If he doesn't like it that is HIS problem.
What's next? Chain you to the stove or basement?
Why are you allowing this? W... (read in full...)
Why is divorce a problem for a liar cheater wife?
Q. My wife started cheating on me around the year 2000. I confronted her and she was extremely sorry, so she made me believe. A few years later she was cheating again and after all the wasted effort I put into salvaging our marriage I knew it was over. ...
A. 14 November 2013: I'm with WiseOwlE here.
Get a good lawyer and see what the abandonment statutes are in your state.
However that was not your question. You asked WHY she did it.
Well,
1. you "let" her.
By agreeing to staying married she accumulate YEARS... (read in full...)
We've been tested but my boyfriend doesn't want to use condoms and it worries me!
Q. Hi,I'm a 23yr old female n my boyfriend is 26,we decided to go for an HIV test before we can ingage in sex n the results came back negative,we've been having unprotected sex ever since because even when I suggest we use a condom he tells me he ...
A. 14 November 2013: I would tell him NO SEX what so ever without a condom.
Have you ever blown up a condom? If not, then you really should. YOU CAN FIT a whole FOOT or FOREARM into MOST condoms. So for him to say he can't find one "big enough" for him, well that is ... (read in full...)
I tagged him on fb and he didn't respond and now I don't know how to act
Q. i have a huge crush on a guy who is not in my class in college but he used to show signs of liking me too.even though we dont speak to each other we're frens on fb where he answers only when i speak first.a few days ago i tagged him and some of my ...
A. 14 November 2013: Next time you see him in person say HI! and STOP tagging him in stuff.
Back off a little bit and see if he contacts you.
If he doesn't them MAYBE he isn't into you and you need to accept that. JUST because YOU have a crush on him, doesn't mea... (read in full...)
Married 4 years and she's unreliable. Over-spends. She lies to me. what can I do?
Q. So my wife and I have been married for four years and during that time we have had out ups and downs. We both work fultime and make close to the same amount. But my wife is very lazy around the house. Despite the fact I work longer hours I a...
A. 14 November 2013: What I would do, is SIT her down, and talk.
MAKE a budget- cut the credit cards up (though SHE STILL needs to pay them off). My guess is she has always had someone bail her out when she over spend, either her parents or you (or before you, ano... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a friend to mention your skin color?
Q. I invited two friends over...I am of a mixed background, roots-wise, one of them who doesn't know the people of my country, told me though cautiously gentle polite inonation and all whether that my people had darker skin than I do..I am not dark but ...
A. 14 November 2013: I will add that I think it was curiosity as well. IF she had wanted to outright offend you, I think she would have gone a different way.
The fact that you DID get offended shows that the society still haven't changed as much as we all want. Be... (read in full...)
Should I risk humiliating myself by calling him after one night of sex?
Q. Hi everyone, I met this gorgeous guy online 6 months ago. We ended up meeting up and we had sex. We talked and laughed the night away after sex and it was great. He called me back the next day and then when I tried to call him back he did not ...
A. 14 November 2013: If you had sex and didn't hear from him in 6 months? I wouldn't call.
Obviously he was looking for some NSA sex and he got it. IF he was interested in MORE sex or you as a person he would have gotten back in touch a LONG time ago.
... (read in full...)
I'm tired of paying for her daughter's clothes!
Q. Ok, my girlfriend and I have been with each other for 10 months but are not living together. She has a 11 year old daughter from a previous marriage living with her. When she takes her daughter with us shopping I'm expected to pay. When I complain ...
A. 13 November 2013: I would sit her down a evening/day when the kid isn't with you both and tell her , that you like being with her you like there child, but that you do not WANT to pay for HER child's clothes.
I personally find it ridiculous that she thinks you shou... (read in full...)
A beauty you fancy turned out to have had major plastic surgery done. Would it bother you?
Q. Right so this is a toughie. I'm hoping you guys can help me...cause I really need it!! I met a girl several weeks ago at a club. A real stunner. Beautiful green eyes, blonde hair, lovely figure, very high cheekbones, full lips. She was chatting...
A. 13 November 2013: I don't think you should have told her that you and your friend played around with her picture in photoshop, that was downright CRUEL.
Asking her about plastic surgery I can understand because you kind of had an inkling after seeing her "before"... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he try working more hours a day before asking me for loans?
Q. Hi everyone. I am frustrated with my boyfriend of 4 years, but before I say anything to him I'd like to know what you think. He has flexible salesman working hours and seems to be always having things going on - taking time off to help his mom move ...
A. 13 November 2013: Does he pay back those loans? Or does he "borrow" money and not pay back.
Secondary, you are NOT responsible for his finances, that should be on him, specially with you two not living together.
HE CHOOSES to work less so he can PLAY more, and t... (read in full...)
Am I getting my hopes up for nothing?
Q. I left my ex because he has a temper, wasn't putting the effort into the relationship. That was nearly 5 months ago, we where only together for 6. After we broke up, he went through a few periods of talking to me and not talking to me. He didn't ...
A. 13 November 2013: Yes, I think he is all talk no action.
I understand that you KNEW he wouldn't change so you left, but then after you left you let him "linger" in your life, making YOU doubt your decision to leave.
Unless he gets help for the "temper" (or ang... (read in full...)
My deployed boyfriend cheated! I need advice!
Q. Me and my boyfriend been going out for 2 years we were plaining on getting married and everything we'll before he deployed I found out he cheated when he went home on leave 4weeks before deployment I flipped on him and wanted to break up but he ...
A. 13 November 2013: It wasn't just a little fling, nor do I think the girl is crazy. The reason she is STILL involved with him is because HE WANTS her around.
Him acting strange while deployed might have nothing to do with the cheating. It might have to do with wha... (read in full...)
Could someone give me a little pep talk or something about how I am not a bad person for cutting her out of my life?
Q. Am I a bad person for cutting off an ex who wants to remain friends? My ex of 7 years (we mutually broke up 3 years ago) won't stop contacting me out of the eventhough I am now married and she is engaged. What is really confusing is that she was emot...
A. 13 November 2013: Nope, don't feel guilty. YOU have to do what works for YOU and will continue to work for YOU.
You sound like you actually OWE her something, you don't.
Cut her out/ block her and set yourself free (from her).
Cutting toxic people ... (read in full...)
Should I tell a new boyfriend about my fake teeth?
Q. Ok here goes, when I was younger I got best by my bf at the time and he messed my teeth up really bad. It was to the point where they couldn't be fixed so I had to get dentures. Don't get me wrong I love my dentures and ppl that doesn't know me ...
A. 13 November 2013: Would you tell a guy that you used to have glasses and now wear contacts?
I would compare it to that.
There is NO shame in you having dentures. If you two DO have a conversation about your past violent relationship you can tell him about it, IF... (read in full...)
Breaking up and what am I entitled to?
Q. Can anybody tell me if you have been living with your partner for 9 years and you decide to break up, would you be entitled to half or any of the property? I'm in this situation and I don't know much about legal stuff. The house is in his name b...
A. 13 November 2013: I would take that 1/3 and walk away. EVEN if you had paid into the house over the years, if the house is in his name.. it is HIS.
Like Eddie suggest you could contact a lawyer and see about your "rights".
... (read in full...)
How do I break it to her? I want to end this nearly 10 year relationship.
Q. Hi, I'd like to know how to end a long term (nearly 10 year) relationship? I'm 27 and have been in the same relationship since 18. Initially it was long distance and we saw each other every weekend or other weekend but I inherited a house close to...
A. 13 November 2013: I agree with CMMP and WiseOwlE
Be honest with her, don't drag it out.
What she wants to do and how she wants to do it is up to her, you two can talk about what you feel is OK for you, for example give her 3 weeks to pack and move out or what... (read in full...)
Help me to help my teens
Q. This question is directed to teenagers 13-17. It has to do with romantic relationships and with relationships with your parents. Any help is appreciated. My son aged 15 met a wonderful girl this past summer. I really like her and hope that thi...
A. 13 November 2013: To FA,
It is nice to see that you read and absorb all the advice people are trying to offer. It doesn't mean WE are all right and you are wrong, you know that. It's just different perspectives.
Parenting is not a one way only, you have to it w... (read in full...)
Help me to help my teens
Q. This question is directed to teenagers 13-17. It has to do with romantic relationships and with relationships with your parents. Any help is appreciated. My son aged 15 met a wonderful girl this past summer. I really like her and hope that thi...
A. 12 November 2013: My oldest is 13, so not quite there.
Growing up I had a lot of freedom, my older brother a little bit more then me, he was quite the black sheep, so I saw first hand how doing the "wrong" things affected him and the family as a whole.
I was a... (read in full...)
I'm hurt he ignored me!
Q. Hi OK so i just don't know what to do in this situation and who's right and wrong really. :/ I was seeing my boyfriend for 5 months. We started off lovely, then after about a month he backed off and said he wanted to take it slow. I respec...
A. 12 November 2013: I think you are over reacting a little, with him "liking" photos on Instagram. Who cares? I mean it is rather juvenile to "like" pathetic people's selfies, but it doesn't mean that he LIKED you any less -It's kind of lame and immature (of him), but ... (read in full...)
I'm a student nurse with not a lot of money and he has a good job so why is it up to me to pay for the hotel room?
Q. I am a student nurse so not on alot of money and my boyfriend works in IT up in the city, has a good job,we have been together a few months but we decided to spend some privacy time together in a hotel room,so he wants me to book it up,arrange the ...
A. 12 November 2013: Well if it's a "date night" out that will lead to a steamy night at a hotel due to kids at both homes I guess I see the point in the hotel room.
But if you can't afford it why not bring it up?... (read in full...)
Hypocrites who justify cheating.....what's going through their minds?
Q. Help me out here. How can a woman accuse her husband of cheating and then justify her own affair as a form of retaliation, or as a means to quench her insatiable thirst for attention? She gets all bent out of shape when she suspects that her husband ...
A. 12 November 2013: I'm with lifton. I would go with narcissist.
Nothing is her fault, he reflects ALL blame onto someone else (in this case the husband).
Seems like the marriage was doomed anyways, if they both sleep around -what's the point in the marriage? Ju... (read in full...)
He has this friend who really has a thing for him and who would like me out of the picture
Q. I've been seeing this guy I met online since July (about 5 months), very casually, on and off. I like him a lot, I enjoy being with him, and the sex is phenomenal. He's a bit of a commitment phobe and so am I, so neither of us is rushing toward a ...
A. 12 November 2013: You might have misunderstood me, I don't think YOU are jealous. But I do think that if you have been accepting that he has another woman (who he claims is psycho and he claims to not sleep with) for the past 5 months, I don't see how you can all of ... (read in full...)
I'm a student nurse with not a lot of money and he has a good job so why is it up to me to pay for the hotel room?
Q. I am a student nurse so not on alot of money and my boyfriend works in IT up in the city, has a good job,we have been together a few months but we decided to spend some privacy time together in a hotel room,so he wants me to book it up,arrange the ...
A. 12 November 2013: I'm not sure why you two would need a hotel room either. Though IF you are a couple either of you can pay, however if you CAN NOT afford it, bring it up.... (read in full...)
All I want is someone to love me! I need some advice!
Q. Here we go, I am going to try and do this without breaking down into tears . I have only been divorced since May of 2012 however my husband left in 2008 I met this man and started seeing him and at the time i didnt know he was married because he ...
A. 11 November 2013: You already KNOW he isn't IT. He is not exactly "bad news", but he is "useless news". He doesn't CARE about your happiness or your needs. You ARE convenient for him and since you LET him stay with you, you cook, clean, do his laundry and let him ... (read in full...)
There was obvious attraction -- is she letting me down gently?
Q. Quick question How long would you generally leave it before talking to a girl before asking to meet up kind of thing? I was out with a couple of buddies friday night, and one of these guys had his gf out. They don't really speak much on a nig...
A. 11 November 2013: I agree with TasteofIndia too
ASK her out on a PROPER DATE - name a day, time and what you plan to do. The wanna hang? Sounds more like you are trying to get into her pants only AKA hook up.. Take her out to the movies or heck a museum if she like... (read in full...)
He has this friend who really has a thing for him and who would like me out of the picture
Q. I've been seeing this guy I met online since July (about 5 months), very casually, on and off. I like him a lot, I enjoy being with him, and the sex is phenomenal. He's a bit of a commitment phobe and so am I, so neither of us is rushing toward a ...
A. 11 November 2013: Like you said, you are NOT his GF, so there isn't anything you can "do". If you choose to have this.. "whatever it is" relationship it seems a little odd that you all of a sudden aren't OK with the other woman in his life.
Because it seems to... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is out of town... messages me...then does not read my reply or answer back!
Q. Hi all. I am a bit upset. Not sure if I should be or not. Hope you can give me your opinions. My boyfriend is in the U.S helping his dad get back on his feet following a surgery. He messaged me on Facebook the day after he arrived and he t...
A. 11 November 2013: I agree with SVC - I don't have FB anymore, but my husband is perma logged into FB - doesn't mean he is ACTUALLY ON FB. Just that he is logged in. If he is busy he might... check it 2-4 times a week.
YOU Bf is BUSY with a dad who is in the hosp... (read in full...)
Why can’t girls just say no when they don’t want to go out with you?
Q. I asked this girl out recently who I actually thought liked me back, given all the back and forth flirting, but as soon as I asked if she wanted to go out, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know, I have to think about it, maybe later, ...
A. 11 November 2013: Neither do I.
But it might have to go with the fact that girls (in general) are raised to be "nice" and "polite" to everyone. We don't like to hurt other's feeling because we tend to emote & feel more (or stronger) then many guys, when it comes to... (read in full...)
I explain to him he's jealous and clingy but hes not getting it!!
Q. I met this guy April 4.and we have been talking since then. At first he was really cool, sweet, loveable but now its like I love him but hes too much He crys all the time over small things And when We argue and someone apologizes he continue...
A. 11 November 2013: Cut him off. Block his number (many cell phones have free apps to block numbers), delete him of FB and anywhere else. Pretend he doesn't exist any more.
Take some control. Obviously telling him stop talking to me doesn't work, and my guess is... (read in full...)
Anyone else take this long to get pregnant?
Q. Hi Folks, Thank you for replies in advance. I am a 30 year old woman, I have been with my partner for 8 years and 7 or those 8 we have being trying for a baby. Every month is a disappointment, both of us have got tested and apparently health...
A. 11 November 2013: Have you been to see a doctor about fertility? Have you tried tracking your ovulation?
And what did you get tested for?... (read in full...)
Defining Friends With Benefits?
Q. I always thought I knew what Friends With Benefits (FWB) meant. As I'm reading more of these questions/answers, I'm beginning to see how wrong I was and how it affected my relationships. I still have some ideas of what I think those things are but ...
A. 11 November 2013: Amen to YouWish, couldn't have said it better.
I do NOT understand why the youth of today (yea, that makes me sound old but hey, I call it as I see it) want to WASTE their time being basic FUCK BUDDIES (because let's face it.. you do not FUCK you... (read in full...)
How do you tell a man with a temper that things need to change or else it's best we divorce?
Q. I love my husband, but I don't like him. We've had a rocky relationship of 5 years, married for 2.The first 2 years we fought all the time, and his temper was out of control but in the next year, we worked hard to work out the issues in our ...
A. 11 November 2013: So start to build yourself a little nest-egg, put aside enough to get you home, look for a job back there (try online and interview on Skype if possible). Ask family if you can stay with them and if they can help you with a job.
Since you don't ha... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be angry about the benefit fraud a person close to me is committing?
Q. What would you do if you found out someone you are close too is committing benefit fraud? I completely disagree with people who do this. I believe benefits are for people who are in real need of them. But what I have found out, that this person...
A. 11 November 2013: Yes, I would be disgusted too. I am not a subtle person and I would probably say something to them. Though I seriously don't think they would care.
I know that a lot of benefit programs barely cover the expenses people have these days, but if t... (read in full...)
Been off the pill 5 months ago but still can't get pregnant.
Q. I was just wondering if people could share their experiences to help me see what's "normal'. my husband and I are trying for a baby. I came off the pill 5 months ago and we have been trying since then but no luck. How long did it take your or ...
A. 10 November 2013: You doctor is right a full 12 months before they will even test you. What you CAN do is get yourself an ovulation kit and time your cycle so you DO go at it when the timing is right.
Just relax.
(I know that is hard, but the more you stress t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slapped me across the face, was it my fault?
Q. My boyfriend slapped me across the face, was it my fault? My boyfriend has Bipolar Disorder. He drinks a lot sometimes, and this annoys me, whether he is being annoying when he is drunk or not. Sometimes, he is hyper and happy when he is drunk...
A. 10 November 2013: Was it your "fault"? No, the hitting was his choice, but you DID do your best to provoke him and what the result? He hit you and then tried to push you down some stairs.
If he lives in a place where you can't walk home alone, he needs to visit yo... (read in full...)
How do you tell a man with a temper that things need to change or else it's best we divorce?
Q. I love my husband, but I don't like him. We've had a rocky relationship of 5 years, married for 2.The first 2 years we fought all the time, and his temper was out of control but in the next year, we worked hard to work out the issues in our ...
A. 9 November 2013: Yikes, I'm not even sure marriage counseling would work. If you feel you owe it to yourself and your marriage then suggest it, see what he says. If he says no, then you have your answer, he isn't interested in changing.
BTW demandin... (read in full...)
I explain to him he's jealous and clingy but hes not getting it!!
Q. I met this guy April 4.and we have been talking since then. At first he was really cool, sweet, loveable but now its like I love him but hes too much He crys all the time over small things And when We argue and someone apologizes he continue...
A. 9 November 2013: Yikes. It's been 7 months and it's THAT full of drama? Personally, I would take that as a hint that you two aren't compatible.
He is super insecure and that in itself is just a huge turn on for most people.
You can either continue (he won... (read in full...)
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