Was my ex emotionally abusive to me?
Q. Was I in an emotionally abusive relationship? At first my ex was very loving and the perfect gentleman. After a little while he stopped having sex with me, stopped giving me physical affection and began completely ignoring me, even when I was in t...
A. 3 November 2013: Don't worry about him or trying to figure him out. He was not who you though he was or who you wanted him to be. He was just a sad sack of shallow man-folk and NOW you are rid of him.
Good for you to block and un-friend him, there was no need to ... (read in full...)
Why does he suddenly seem distant?
Q. Why does he suddenly seem distant? I've been chatting with an old high school friend for about 4 months. We've been talking everyday (facebook, skype, phone, etc) and it was pretty intense-talking about the future, him telling me he misses me, al...
A. 15 October 2013: name, not mane....... (read in full...)
Why does he suddenly seem distant?
Q. Why does he suddenly seem distant? I've been chatting with an old high school friend for about 4 months. We've been talking everyday (facebook, skype, phone, etc) and it was pretty intense-talking about the future, him telling me he misses me, al...
A. 15 October 2013: YouWish brings up an excellent point.
YOU know his first name, last mane and maybe even his date of birth so YOU can look him up and find all kind of information.
He might have told you he is separated, but in reality he isn't. It just sounds b... (read in full...)
I want to know that we're looking for the same things in life
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 6 months. We are both 30 It has been going well but I have started to feel a bit uneasy that we only see each other at weekends and one night in the week (we live quite far from each other). This weekend he bough...
A. 15 October 2013: I think he is being smart and going slow. Whether you are 18 or 30 I think a year 1 1/2 of solid dating before moving in is a smart thing.
I can't see why he can't buy a house now and share it with his family. IF at some point you two get to a pla... (read in full...)
Does my husband take revenge by flirting?
Q. My husband flirts with other girls...Acc to him nothing wrong in it.am the one who think inappropriate...I love him a lot.for this behavior am feeling very angry..till now. He did not do any mistake...but. If. He really loves me,why would he ...
A. 14 October 2013: I have to ask too, revenge for what?
I presume he was a flirt BEFORE you married and you expected him to totally change? Did he know that BEFORE marriage?
Also there is flirting, light banter and hitting on women. The first two are pretty much ... (read in full...)
I care for him but take his words with a pinch of salt..am worried I'm a rebound!
Q. Hello Agony Aunts/Uncles! Thanks for taking the time to read, I'll try not to be too repetitive in the telling :) In summary, I met this guy J online. He's got a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of baggage to work through, not the least being that he br...
A. 14 October 2013: I don't think you CAN fix this FOR him.
He needs to either seek help (be it meds, therapy or self-help).
I think you NEED to accept that he can't be what you want him to be. A friend, yes - more, no. He might not be capable of anything more do... (read in full...)
Why does he suddenly seem distant?
Q. Why does he suddenly seem distant? I've been chatting with an old high school friend for about 4 months. We've been talking everyday (facebook, skype, phone, etc) and it was pretty intense-talking about the future, him telling me he misses me, al...
A. 14 October 2013: Is he married? Do you live far from each other?
If he is married, well then maybe he found his conscience. If he is single, maybe he met someone closer by? And since THAT is still new he hasn't told you yet?
Or, he lost a close friend/family me... (read in full...)
Was my ex emotionally abusive to me?
Q. Was I in an emotionally abusive relationship? At first my ex was very loving and the perfect gentleman. After a little while he stopped having sex with me, stopped giving me physical affection and began completely ignoring me, even when I was in t...
A. 14 October 2013: Good for you for leaving after 4 years of that!
Was what I would call emotionally abusive - in a way he was, but more over, I think he was really just enormously selfish and emotional unavailable. His whole world was supposed to revolve around h... (read in full...)
Amazing fantasies of how hot our three-way could be!
Q. I am an “out bisexual woman” but men often mistake me as lesbian. I have a gal-friend (who’s just a friend) that I’m emotionally close to, so much so that we often hug and kiss on the cheek. She recently hooked up with a hot great guy that I know ...
A. 14 October 2013: Fantasies are lovely. And they are for the most part private. Last but not least there is a HUGE difference between fantasy and reality.
If you put it out that that you have this fantasy involving a 3-some with those two it might open a can of d... (read in full...)
He treated me badly so why do I feel guilty for letting him go?
Q. I have been seeing a man for 5 months now. The last two months have been especially stressful. He has subjected me to the "silent treatment" for over a month and just recently started cursing towards me. On Thursday I was trying to text h...
A. 14 October 2013: I agree with Auntie Babbit
YOU feel bad because you don't understand what you did wrong (and I BET you that you DID absolutely NOTHING wrong at all) - however, you found out that this guy was a turd in tinfoil not a prince charming and you DUMP... (read in full...)
My partner is reluctant to start a family, what should I do?
Q. I recently posted about moving countries. I've moved countries and been with my partner for over a year and a half. He seems reluctant to start a family but i really want too! we've been arguing and mostly he's been silent. What should I do? I've ...
A. 13 October 2013: You are living in a sex-less relationship where you two fight a lot and you want kids? Why? You think having kids will stop the fighting? Make him more attracted to you?
I'm sorry, if you ask me, the relationship is doomed, sounds more like a f... (read in full...)
Why is my ex making such awkward conversation?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend almost four months ago (I was the dumper). Since then he's gone through all the motions of telling me to never contact him again, at least twice. Each time he's been back contacting me within two weeks. In this time, I'...
A. 13 October 2013: I have no idea why he is doing it, but I'm guessing he misses you.
What I don't get is why stay in contact with him? Why bother? Why not block him and let the relationship go?... (read in full...)
How to discuss family asset's without upsetting anyone?
Q. So my husband and I are not really having a problem so much as just needing advice, words of wisdom, etc. I was having lunch with my husband and his brother's girlfriend who is 4 months pregnant with his brother's child (obviously). My ...
A. 13 October 2013: Sorry, I get me a little disgusted when people talk about a family members death and THAT family members belongs like it's candy or thing THEY actually own.
It would NOT be something I'd wish to discuss.
ID however your FIL brings it up I w... (read in full...)
If a girl is just not interested why make excuses for putting things off
Q. There is a girl I like. We went out once. Ever since then whenever I causally ask her out she keeps making excuses. Some I can believe like she says "Friday is her family day." And other excuses like that. The one she uses a lot though is that she ...
A. 13 October 2013: If she keeps making excuses I just don't think she is interested in dating you.
Some girls like the chase, your friend is right, BUT they would not turn you down EVERY time if they wanted the chase.
I'd back off totally. IF you are looking for ... (read in full...)
Why did he treat me so badly when all I ever did was love him? He treats his new girlfriend much better than he did me!
Q. I'm 20 years old.. I have only been with one man and that was from the age of 13... However over the years the man I was with for seven years didn't treat me very well... Put me down, took a lot of my money, cheated, broken my finger etc but he was ...
A. 13 October 2013: I agree with FA - he is wooing her, thus he is being as nice as he can to get her "hooked" his true colors will show soon enough, and if she is any kind of smart she will walk away asap.
He didn't abuse YOU because you are you. He did because ... (read in full...)
Am I being insecure or should her lifestyle / attitude be a legitimate concern?
Q. My girlfriend and I (3 months together) got into a fight last week because she told me that if she goes out with her friends they would have a "contest" to see who could get the most numbers at a bar or club. I found this disrespectful and odd so I ...
A. 13 October 2013: Yea, the whole scenario would be a deal-breaker for me. At her/your age - she should KNOW better.
I think it shows a HUGE lack of morals and values. I'm not saying she has to be prim and proper, but seriously? Making a game out of getting numbers?... (read in full...)
Should I go to the doctor to prove I am NOT mentally ill?
Q. I have posted on here before about my situation. Abusive ex, left our son in wet clothes, we had a row about it, then he said he never wanted anymore contact, now he has changed his mind, and I have said no, as I want supervised visits, so now he w...
A. 13 October 2013: He would HAVE to PROVE that you are unstable. Going OFF on your ex-MIL doesn't mean you are mentally ill. Just mad. Which honestly isn't that weird, given the situation.
Getting mad at someone meddling in your life is NORMAL. You lashed out and ... (read in full...)
Can you sue someone for giving you an STD?
Q. Can you sue someone for giving you an STD? My ex boyfriend has contacted me, to say that he recently ejaculated blood and that if he has an STD he will be suing me. I haven't had a check-up for a few months, but last time I went to the doctors ...
A. 13 October 2013: I don't know the laws Down Under - I guess it would depend on several things.
1. What STD is it.
2. IF you were aware of having it or not.
3. How good a lawyer he can find.
4. IT is a personal injury claim. (in the US at least)
In America... (read in full...)
Should I ask my ex to our son's birthday outing?
Q. Should I ask my ex to our son's birthday outing? We haven't been getting on at all lately, infact that is an understatement. He doesn't see his son much anyway, through his own choice. I don't particularly want him there, but this is...
A. 13 October 2013: Also remember you don't have to pretend to be friends with your ex or "get along" as long as you are capable of communicating with him ABOUT your son.
You said you two haven't gotten along lately, why is that? Because he doesn't want to see his ... (read in full...)
She says we don't have enough "quality time" together, even though we're living together
Q. Ok this is my first time writing on something like this, but I know my girlfriend has asked for online help before and said its really helpful so here I am. We have been together for around 5 years I think and we've just moved in together but eve...
A. 13 October 2013: I have to ask, WHAT is she to you? Your room-mate or your GIRL-FRIEND?
You are surprised that when you two moved in together she ASSUMED it would mean you two got MORE time together, not less.
Seriously, SHARING a home doesn't mean spending mo... (read in full...)
Him keeping his ex as a friend bothers me!
Q. How can I stop worrying and stop being upset about my boyfriend's friendship with his ex girlfriend? Even though they had a bad break up and things got pretty ugly with them (she cheated on him a lot and they fought a lot) they both decided to ...
A. 12 October 2013: I agree with CMMP
I understand that it doesn't feel good that he KEEPS her around, but when you say I don't like him talking to her, it's because YOU are afraid he will go back to her. Which implies you think he could cheat on you.
I don't... (read in full...)
My friend has a perfect girlfriend yet cheated several times. He needs advice what to do now.
Q. One of my best friends is with a girl and has been since Feb. The girl went away travelling over the summer but they stayed together, despite only being together a few months at this point. Anyway my best mate fell for a girl at work, whilst his gf ...
A. 12 October 2013: Nice catch Daisy. :)... (read in full...)
Beating myself up for immature mistakes
Q. I was never a wrong person but some circumstances made me commit some really silly and immature mistakes. Like forcing myself to go out on a date just cause my trust on my boyfriend was lost. I never intended or had any desire to be with any guy. I ...
A. 12 October 2013: No, it doesn't make you a "wrong" person, but an impulsive and perhaps naive and immature.
Look at those actions and think on them as learning experiences or lessons in WHAT NOT to do.
And next time you feel like doing something you KN... (read in full...)
Should I ask my ex to our son's birthday outing?
Q. Should I ask my ex to our son's birthday outing? We haven't been getting on at all lately, infact that is an understatement. He doesn't see his son much anyway, through his own choice. I don't particularly want him there, but this is...
A. 12 October 2013: I think it comes down to do YOU want to spend that time with your son AND your EX or not.
Since it's just going to be you and your son, personally I would ask him, for the sake of the child. BUT that is just me. Who knows he might not WANT to ... (read in full...)
My friend has a perfect girlfriend yet cheated several times. He needs advice what to do now.
Q. One of my best friends is with a girl and has been since Feb. The girl went away travelling over the summer but they stayed together, despite only being together a few months at this point. Anyway my best mate fell for a girl at work, whilst his gf ...
A. 12 October 2013: It makes me angry when I hear people say they can't CONTROL themselves when it comes to cheater. It is a piss poor excuse. OF COURSE a person CAN control themselves IF they want to. I mean HE doesn't slap people who annoy him? Or stab them? He ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my ex to our son's birthday outing?
Q. Should I ask my ex to our son's birthday outing? We haven't been getting on at all lately, infact that is an understatement. He doesn't see his son much anyway, through his own choice. I don't particularly want him there, but this is...
A. 12 October 2013: Are either of you dating again?
If he is, I would ask him (and his GF depending on how long they have dated and IF your son has been introduced to her already.)
Is it going to be just you and your son? Or YOUR family and then the ex? ... (read in full...)
We have a 20 year old difference. Don't know if there is any point in starting things again.
Q. Hi, I was seeing a much younger guy casually for the last 8 months. We were really just sleeping together. I had just come out of a relationship and he was very inexperienced so we decided to try not to get too involved. He finished things ...
A. 12 October 2013: I think SVC is right. While it might have been "fun" or lovely while it lasted, I don't think it's something that is going to work long term.YOU are so far ahead of him in life-& relationship experience that it makes the relationship rather uneven, ... (read in full...)
I don't like it and insinutated he should find a new 'soul mate'
Q. My boyfriend lately has been saying he wants to get more serious, I'm his soulmate etc. We've been together a year and a half. The other night we were really drunk and he entered me from behind. It really hurt and I hated it. But I always told him ...
A. 12 October 2013: WoW - talk about disgusting manipulation!!
He was hinting at, that if YOU want to be his "soul mate" you will take it in the rear and love it! He has no idea what a soul mate is. Nor how to make anal sex less painful or horrible to his partner.... (read in full...)
Am I a stalker for sharing my crush's pictures on facebook?
Q. I used to have a crush whose pics I shared on Facebook and that person got angry with me for that very reason. Am I a stalker for that? ...
A. 11 October 2013: If you don't have their permission to share them, then yes that is NOT OK.
Would you want some random person to put YOUR picture on their Facebook?
... (read in full...)
I know I made the right decision to end things but I need some encouragement!
Q. Hi :) Hope you can help me.. I was with my boyfriend for 2 yrs, he is a nice person, but things didn't work out for loads of reasons, mainly because he has always been mothered, expects people to do things for him and he doesn't think to repa...
A. 11 October 2013: He might not have MOVED on, but people move one or TRY to move on in different ways, maybe HIS way was jumping headfirst into another woman. He didn't do it to hurt you, but maybe to boost his ego.
Maybe it;s not such a bad thing, at least ge... (read in full...)
After two years, he doesn't want kids. This is a different kind of rejection--I am devastated.
Q. I've been in a serious relationship for two years now. The topic of kids has been a back and forth issue for us--it's a stereotype, but here we go- I want children, and always have--he doesn't. He recently made that abundantly clear. After two...
A. 11 October 2013: If NOT wanting kids is a deal breaker for you, you should end it.
I also don't think he did anything wrong. If he stated from the get go, NO KIDS, then me meant it and no matter how much YOU love him and HE loves you, that wasn't going to change. ... (read in full...)
What does the married man I work with want from me?
Q. Hello! To make it short..for couple of months this married man is getting more and more close to me.He is older than me, I am 28 he is 50..we met at work. He said things like he cannot live without me as a joke, he makes time to see me everyday ...
A. 11 October 2013: Does it matter WHAT he wants? You should (if you have any sense) stay away from that potential drama. He is MARRIED- does that mean ANYTHING to you?
It could also be that he likes to flirt with you, because he sees you as a young woman who is N... (read in full...)
Should I ask him on a fourth date?
Q. Dating a new guy. We've been on three dates now. Having lots of fun and it feels natural. After the last date, he texted me the next morning asking how I was and said thanks for coming and it was awesome. A few days went by, and he texted me asking ...
A. 11 October 2013: Yeah 10.30 is not a good time to ask for a "Date" but for a booty call, BUT if you are still interested in DATING him I would ask him out. Maybe he was testing your limits? Since the two of you probably haven't talked relationship much yet.
I wou... (read in full...)
Should I ask him on a fourth date?
Q. Dating a new guy. We've been on three dates now. Having lots of fun and it feels natural. After the last date, he texted me the next morning asking how I was and said thanks for coming and it was awesome. A few days went by, and he texted me asking ...
A. 10 October 2013: Yes, ask him out already!
He wants you to SHOW some initiative and some interest is wanting to BE with him.
IF you are interested, ask him out. And not vague like maybe this week-end, but something concrete like let's go out for dinner & a m... (read in full...)
Married, open relationship, and now divorce?
Q. I need you guys opinions, please. Here's my situation: My wife and I knew each other since for about 8 years. We got married on 2011 so it would be almost 2 years of marriage. We both agreed on having an open relationship as long as in the end we w...
A. 10 October 2013: I think having an open marriage RARELY work for the reasons that the lines get blurred so easily and most people aren't as in control of their emotions as they think they are. Being BOTH open to others (sexually and emotionally) is not really what ... (read in full...)
Do they girls also like the guys chest
Q. Hey everyone, Do they girls also like the guys chest, as much as the case in vice versa? I am asking this because there was a girl at my university who used to stare at my flat chest fugitively, which made me wonder the point....
A. 10 October 2013: No, I don't think women are as FASCINATED with a man's chest as men are with boobs.
For several reasons. Men look (unknowingly, instinctively and perhaps rather primitively) at a woman's boobs as part of her capability for feeding/... (read in full...)
We broke up because of facebook! Who's right?
Q. So a few days ago my girlfriend randomly starts acting cold and won't tell me what's wrong initially. She then spills the beans and tells me that she saw me on Facebook liking photos and statuses of girls that she knows I used to talk to. We ...
A. 10 October 2013: I have to agree with kc_100
I think it's blown WAY out of proportions though. When Facebook becomes a source of fights you BOTH ought to have looked at your OWN behaviors as well as each others. To me I think you did, what you did, because ... (read in full...)
I feel like I don't have any control over what happens to me.
Q. I want a job so badly and I have had no luck finding one so far, and it's breaking my heart. It breaks my heart that I want so badly to have a better life, and I know I deserve good things, but I feel like no matter how hard I try, I don't have ...
A. 10 October 2013: Have you tried using Monster (or something similar)?
http://www.monster.com/
Unfortunately there are more people looking for jobs then there are jobs.
Don't give up though.... (read in full...)
Are we going somewhere or is this just casual sex?
Q. i dated a guy for a few months and than things got complicated and we broke up , but i miss him and he says he wants to be good friends that that is better than strangers but we've been hanging out again and we just can't resist each other we ...
A. 10 October 2013: Stop having car-sex. Ask him out or to your place. Cook him a dinner and then TALK before having sex.
He might NOT want to get back in a relationship because he gets better sex now with not responsibilities.
... (read in full...)
What is the right age do you think, to settle down and have a family?
Q. When do you think people ussualy start thinking about settling down? My daughter is 27, her boyfriend will be 30 in a couple months. They both have good jobs, but live with 4 other roomates. its a big house in a very expensive city. I just vis...
A. 10 October 2013: When they are good and ready?
I have 3 daughters. And honestly, I rather they have a GREAT relationship, then focus on getting married and popping out babies.
I have 2 nieces in their early 20's one with 2 kids and one with 1. They both have l... (read in full...)
Abusive husband wants wife to move to Iraq with him when he's deported! How do we help her?
Q. My cousins husband is from iraq. He is a failed asylum seeker and is now in prison as he was violent and abusive towards her. my cousin has stood by him as he begged her not to leave him. The home office want to deport him and if they can deport him ...
A. 10 October 2013: The first thing that popped into my mind was, the book "Not Without My Daughter" by Betty Mahmoody - of course this happened over 20 years ago and is about marriage between an Iranian man and American woman.
Have her call
U.S. Passport Ser... (read in full...)
He's too busy! Should I be patient or let him go?
Q. I feel stuck. I've been dating a man for the past 5 months. He's divorced and has four kids that hes a primary caregiver for. He also has a demanding job. My issue is because he is so busy I barely hear from him much less see him. We have texted a ...
A. 10 October 2013: It doesn't quite sound like the kind of relationship YOU want. Seems to me you want more time together and more communication.
Yes, he is busy with work & kids, but not finding time to see you in two week? I think his priorities are his kids, hi... (read in full...)
My friend probably gave her one-night-stand guy chlamydia (he doesn't know it might be from her) and now I'm dating this guy. How do I ask him to get checked without exposing my friend?
Q. Hi all, I'm in a sticky situation! Straight to the point, I started university 18 months ago and quickly became good friends with a girl on my course. Since then we have been like best friends, we clicked instantly. She happens to be a girl ...
A. 10 October 2013: Tell him you take yours and his health seriously and since you both have had prior sexual relationship you think it's a good idea to get tested.
I will also agree with ALWAYS use a condom, however condom doesn't protect from everything like HPV... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I'm loved by my boyfriend and he always puts his mom first!
Q. My boyfriend and I have more issues than I can count. We are in our late 20s, been together 3+ yrs, and live together. Issue #1, he is a mamas boy. Whatever mom wants, he does. He goes above and beyond son duties. He gives her just as much, if not ...
A. 10 October 2013: Why do you stay? Do you think you owe him anything? It's MAKING you miserable to be with him and he doesn't care.
It will NEVER change, he will not grow up because this is all he knows and I think all he wants. In his mom's eyes he can do no wrong... (read in full...)
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