He asked me for a date but its been 5 days since I've heard from him. Is it rude to break the date?
Q. Over email, a guy asked me to go out with him on day xyz. I replied, said yes that day sounds good. It has been five days and I haven't gotten his reply confirming the date and time with me. I know he can be busy or had an emergency but re...
A. 28 October 2013: I would tell him you have made other plans because you didn't hear back from him..
Asking someone to go out on a date and leave it open to let's say Saturday, but no time and no place is NOT a conformed date.
YES, he should have gotten back... (read in full...)
I want to go slow -- are guys not willing to wait anymore?
Q. I used to be in an very emotionally unhealthy relationship of five years which was my first one i was 19- and it lasted until i was 24. I finally left the abusive relationship and have taken three years to really recover and get my self to start ...
A. 28 October 2013: I see nothing wrong in you wanting to get to know a person and feel secure in the knowledge that they are tested and clean before having sex.
I would be upfront about when you met a guy who you are interested in and who is interested in you. Tha... (read in full...)
My uncontrollable vanity and low self-esteem are ruining my life
Q. I am obsessed with photos and not in a good way. I spend many hours of my life constantly worrying about documenting what I do so that I can have a good view of my life in the future. Subsequently I scrutinize them to the point of obsession and cons...
A. 28 October 2013: You know we ALL have had some questionable looks and pictures (at least if we LIVED a little).
If people go criticize the hair and beard in the pictures just laugh it off and tell them that was your "hippy days" or whatever you want to call the... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my girlfriend's behavior with her phone?
Q. I love my girlfriend to bits..but I have noticed from day 1 she is a very private person but she has opened up to me in the months that we got to know each other better..but one thing that irks me sometimes is she carry's her phone with her ...
A. 28 October 2013: You should be worried about YOUR own actions. Hounding her and NEEDING to check her phone. Let the girl have some privacy for goodness sake.
Does she go though yours?
Do you trust her?
You are not her parent who needs to know that her/h... (read in full...)
When Will the Rose Colored Glasses Come Off?
Q. About 2 weeks ago I posted a question about my son cutting his friends and family out of his life because of a new gf. The verdict was just to give it time and he would come around. Now, here we are, with something that is even more perplexing ...
A. 28 October 2013: I can't even imagine having to sit on your hands in that situation, but YOU HAVE to do it.
If they are moving in together it won't be long before the rose colored glasses come off.
Just wish them luck and go about YOUR life.
And when he com... (read in full...)
My child's father risks jail because of his behavior towards me and I feel guilty!
Q. I need help.....i feel guilty for putting my child father in jail. His jealousy causes him to do crazy things to me. At first I thought his jealous behavior was cut until it ended with property being destroyed. Now we have a pending court case and I ...
A. 28 October 2013: ""My father's child risks jail because of his behavior towards me and I feel guilty!""\
You mean my CHILD's FATHER I assume.
It's NOT your fault he risk jail time, his ACTIONS is what might PUT him in jail.
Putting up with the abuse i... (read in full...)
He asked me for a date but its been 5 days since I've heard from him. Is it rude to break the date?
Q. Over email, a guy asked me to go out with him on day xyz. I replied, said yes that day sounds good. It has been five days and I haven't gotten his reply confirming the date and time with me. I know he can be busy or had an emergency but re...
A. 28 October 2013: It is a little rude to break the date, but it would be even more rude to not show up or wait for him to get hold of you. I would cancel it rather then tell him IF/WHEN he contacts you. He most likely still think the date is on. After all you said ... (read in full...)
I can't stop blaming myself for causing him breaking up with me.
Q. My bf of 8 months dumped me almost 3 months ago, because "we are comfortable but it doesn't mean it's going anywhere." He's been "thinking abt it for a few weeks" and "I am getting obsessed with the relationship." He's my first bf and I really loved ...
A. 28 October 2013: As much as you don't feel this right now, breaking up was the BEST thing for YOU. (and him).
He wasn't a very good BF and you were a inexperienced GF. Which really isn't that strange since this was your first relationship.
He didn't want a re... (read in full...)
Do you think I should have to tell him everything about my life when now hes a friend with benefits ?
Q. Does a guy I see once a week have any right asking questions about where I go and what I do? ive been seeing someone for a year and it turned very serious very quickly. He moved in within four months but it turned sour pretty quick.I chucked him ...
A. 28 October 2013: LISTEN to the aunties, they are right.
HE is no good, not for you, not at all.
I understand that you like a roll in the hay, but why put up with the abuse and the trying to control you?
End it, let him go. FIND a guy for you, go slow.
Blo... (read in full...)
FWB wants to meet up but hes dating someone. Is it moral?
Q. my fwb just asked me to meet up even though I thought it was over because he apparently had a girlfriend, he then explained that she wasn't his girlfriend and it wouldn't be cheating because they haven't defined the relationship. is it moral to ...
A. 28 October 2013: I agree with both aunties here.
They may not have "defined" the relationship, but him wanting to hook up with you for sex is not what I would call moral, or even a smart thing for you to do. That is just HIM wanting to use you as a hole to put h... (read in full...)
New relationship -- when do I tell her about my fetish?
Q. hi i have fetish for satin/silk and only get aroused when a female is wearing satin preferably nightdresses , i am considering a new relationship with a female of similar age to me but how do i go about telling her of my liking of satin/silk , i do ...
A. 28 October 2013: Satin/silk is a pretty "tame" fetish so I wouldn't really worry too much about it.
IF you are sexually active have you thought about satin sheets? But I would bring it up if you two are active and talking about likes/dislikes/fantasies.
Most... (read in full...)
Would this behavior indicate a possible cheater
Q. Hi all, just a question in general. I have noticed when people watching, that there was a man sitting with his wife and she with her body language indicated that she was insecure, she was begging for his attention and affection, he barely took any ...
A. 28 October 2013: Do you know for a fact that she was the wife? Or was that how you interpreted them?
Could be they had just had a row before going in and thus SHE was trying to make him "forgive her" or cheer him up by paying all that attention.
Looking at a ... (read in full...)
Is a friend's ex really off limits forever?
Q. I'll just go straight to the question. What is so wrong in dating my friend's ex-girlfriend. I mean they are no longer together for 2years now. We both want to go for it,i can bet on that but its just as if we should never cross. She has been my ...
A. 28 October 2013: I would ask him as well, not that you need HIS blessing, but who knows maybe he moved on and found himself someone new too?
Personally, friend's ex's are a no-no.... (read in full...)
Do abusers ever leave you alone?
Q. I recently just got out of an abusive relationship. My family and friends are fully aware of it and absolutely support my decision and want nothing to do with this man themselves. It has been a few weeks since the break up. I have him blocked on ...
A. 28 October 2013: First of all STOP seeing yourself as a victim, see yourself as a survivor. You WALKED away from a bad relationship.
Secondly, you might as well learn it now, YOU CAN NOT control people's actions. Not his, not how your friends react, nada. BUT you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend looks through my phone. How to make it stop?
Q. My boyfriend latey thinks i am hiding something because i dont let him go through my phone. He has done it for most of our relationship, lookig at photos and even messages. I Dont have anything hide. But Lately i have stopped him going through my...
A. 27 October 2013: And you haven't changed your password? Or asked him WHY he feel he has any need and/or right to go through your phone? Do you go though his?... (read in full...)
What can I do about this controlling guy?
Q. i been with my significant other for 6 years and hes always been the jealous type, always in my business, wanting to know my facebook password, my email password my phone code to unlock my phone etc, doesnt want me to have friends and i have lost ...
A. 27 October 2013: First of all CHANGE all your password, dump the guy - because he WILL NOT (let me repeat) WILL NOT change. My guess is he didn't start out the way he is now it progressed, right? It got worse over time?
He is not even DONE yet. IF you keep let... (read in full...)
Did he get an ego boost from rejecting me?
Q. Hi Aunties My crush is usually shy and quiet. I asked my crush out through FB but he said that he had no experience with things like this and that he loved talking to me. But now he is more sociable and louder. So my question is has be gotten an...
A. 27 October 2013: I think he got more of a boost from talking to you. But if you feel like he did it to hurt you, stop talking to him, un-friend and move on.
JUST because you have a crush on someone doesn't mean they HAVE to feel the same way. Sometimes they do,... (read in full...)
Boyfriend looks through my phone. How to make it stop?
Q. My boyfriend latey thinks i am hiding something because i dont let him go through my phone. He has done it for most of our relationship, lookig at photos and even messages. I Dont have anything hide. But Lately i have stopped him going through my...
A. 27 October 2013: Ask for his phone, so you can go though his while he goes through yours, wanna bet it stops being so fun for him?
It is distrustful and controlling of him and why you accept it is beyond me. Put a new password on it. Or just grow a set and tell... (read in full...)
His actions say one thing, his words another!
Q. Last night I went to a bar with my 2 girl friends, they invited the guys they're talking to and the guy I'm talking to as well along with other friends. The guy I'm talking to was being really shy and strange because he was with his "boys" I'm not ...
A. 27 October 2013: He had no idea (I'm guessing) that you aren't into dancing and maybe he felt like you rather not BE with him on the dancefloor (instead of that truth, which is you don't really like to dance). So he tried to make you jealous.
Why did you walk hom... (read in full...)
We want to be more sexual but don't know how!
Q. I want to get more sexual with my boyfriend We have tried to but neither of us know what we are doing we are both 18 and we neither of us are virgins but i don't know how to act sexy or anything please help...
A. 27 October 2013: Son't try too hard. And certainly do not try an ACT. You are not a porn star, but a person.
Read up on sensual massages - get a book or watch some videos on YouTube and try it out on each other.
A good massage will most likely lead to other... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's boss gave us a dog and now they want it to visit them and I don't want to do it!
Q. My boyfriend and I adopted a 2 year old boxer from a couple that had too many dogs and the boxer became aggressive. They begged us to take the dog and we did. They were very thankful and didn't ask us to pay money and even gave us the cage and toys ...
A. 27 October 2013: Sorry, if you GOT the dog, it's YOURS - if they want to come see it, fine but NO they can't have it for a week-end - IF YOU DON'T want that.
What does your BF think?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend thinks I cheated and I never have. How do I convince him?
Q. My boyfriend of four years thinks that I have betrayed him with infidelity (cheated on him), I did not commit such a act, I'm innocent but he will not listen to the truth, he also wont express his reasons why he is so sure about his accusations. ...
A. 27 October 2013: There isn't really anything you can do. It is however, not uncommon for cheaters to accuse their partners of cheating, because they KNOW what THEY did and being on an offense is the best defense.
Have you asked him point blank why he would TH... (read in full...)
Is asking your separated spouse for sex wrong, we were on very good terms
Q. My wife and I are separated for 4 years, it's a long story of infidelity on her part and neglect on my part. I have accepted the situation for what it is and to help keep peace in the family. We have 2 adult children. Recently she asked me to go ...
A. 27 October 2013: Is asking your separated spouse for sex wrong?
No. But getting pissy and feeling like she owes you sex is.... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time sending her presents?
Q. I have a childhood friend on whom I had a huge crush. I met her after 12 years on facebook.. she is studying thousand miles away from me... I proposed her on the 3rd day.. She said no.. Then after one month I sent an expensive leather clutch.....
A. 27 October 2013: Are you wasting your time sending her presents?
In one word,
YES.... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I'm ready for him to enter "through the front door?"
Q. Hi, So I'm ready to have vaginal sex with my boyfriend. We've done oral and anal. Before him, I had only done oral so he was my first for the backdoor. I'm ready for him to enter through the front too haha The problem is that I'm not sure how...
A. 27 October 2013: It makes me think if MTV's show Awkward and the chick who wanted to give her BF her "behymen" (anal) because she wanted to stay a virgin.
Sorry, I don't understand HOW anyone can be OK with anal like there is nothing to it. And the worry about va... (read in full...)
Do fathers have rights to know where their children are living?
Q. Does anyone know, either from a personally experience, or legally, does a father have right to know where his children are living? Story is: Bad relationship, physically and mentally abusive, also his current girlfriend is now causing trouble t...
A. 27 October 2013: My advice? If you are getting Child Maintenance then call you case worker and ask. If she can't tell you, then try and find a pro-bono lawyer (ask the case worker she might have names).
How is he threatening you? on the phone/texts? If it' eith... (read in full...)
I feel unappreciated by my boyfriend!
Q. I do everything for my boyfriend but he never says he loves me and I feel unappreciated. I have taken him on business trips across the country, expensive sporting events, weekend trips paid for by me, and drive him everywhere when we are together. I ...
A. 27 October 2013: Ding ding ding..
This is your wake-up call. HE is using you for what he can GET out of you.
This isn't a loving relationship.
I know you don't DO nice thing and BUY nice things in order for him to feel gratitude, but didn't it give you a clu... (read in full...)
Does she really want to go out?
Q. This girl I like now "used" to like me, I'm not sure if she still does or not, but she gives off the signs she does, and is interested in me still (possibly), but every time I ask her if she wants to come over, or go out to see a movie/eat sometime, ...
A. 27 October 2013: Nope it's not her parents no letting her go, he just doesn't know how to say:" no, thanks I'm not really interested" without hurting your feelings. She thinks it easier to say yes and then cancel. That way she feels she isn't being rude, except she ... (read in full...)
I am really stressed over my bi polar boyfriend behavior
Q. What should I do about these problems with my boyfriend?. He has Bipolar Disorder. He was very drunk a couple of nights ago. I was on the phone to him. He was shouting and swearing at people going past. He put the phone down for a second , and I ...
A. 27 October 2013: I understand that you love him, but if this happens a lot then YOU need to realize that:
1. he is not going to change.
2. he needs more help then you can give him. My guess is he doesn't think there is anything wrong with him and that he isn'... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to ask their girlfriend for gifts at the start of a relationship?
Q. Is this normal for a guy to ask his girl friend to buy him gifts at the very beginning of their relationship and telling her what to buy for him? If she says no to buy then he remarked her as money minded? And if she buys, he becomes very happy and ...
A. 27 October 2013: Not normal at all. It sounds more like he is using you and manipulating you.... (read in full...)
Am I worrying too much about my boyfriend's ex and their continued contact?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend about 4 months now. I knew before we starting dating that he was still friends with his ex and they talked often. She cheated on him and hurt him a lot, and I guess left him for another guy eventually becau...
A. 26 October 2013: I don't see anything in his explanation that makes me think he wants to get back with her, BUT I would question as to WHY he would want to remain friend with someone who hurt him as bad as she did.
What is the point of remaining friends?
The ... (read in full...)
Baby momma drama or MM who swears he's getting a divorce?
Q. I moved to another state to be with a man I lived with for 5 years. He moved here to be with his daughter in the mean time I met another guy back home who treated me like a queen for the short time I knew him. He wants me to move back and be with ...
A. 26 October 2013: But what about what YOU want?
"He begged me to come here. I found a job here MM wants me to quit and go home"
So your BF is not really your BF, you are his "little on the side" because he is living with his "babymama" or as I would call her, ... (read in full...)
Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from?
Q. Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from? I'm going to be 21 soon and haven't even been kissed. My best guy friend who's a man whore tells me virginity sucks and romance is dead. He said he'd sleep with me ...
A. 26 October 2013: iAmHereToHelpYou put it best.
It isn't about what men value; it's about what YOU value.
I DO think there is WAY to much emphasis put on female virginity and that in this day and age it ridiculous. Virginity made sense when a man wanted to... (read in full...)
My boyfriend no longer wants to wait
Q. hi Am 16 and still a virgin. I have been boyfriend since I was 12 but now he is getting impatient and no longer wants to wait I don't want to be a clique (lost virginity at 16) and it's also against my believes, and now he has brought a lesbian ...
A. 26 October 2013: What is the best advice? To step away from this boy 100%. Not only does he NOT respect YOU, the relationship OR your beliefs.
I think your BF has been watching a little too much porn and thinks that starting out with all kind of sexual things i... (read in full...)
Guys are the last thing on my mind just now, so why won't my friends listen?
Q. My friends are always trying to set me up with guys and my best friend especially. She's started seeing some lad and is trying to get me to go on a date with his friend. I understand their intentions are good and everything but it's so infuriating ...
A. 26 October 2013: Sit your BFF down and tell her, that you DO NOT want to date right now and if she keep TRYING to make you or set you up, you might need to take a break from her.
But that you rather she RESPECTS your choice to NOT date right now. See what she says... (read in full...)
I'm expecting my ex boyfriend's child and I don't know if I should tell him and break his current girlfriend's heart.
Q. I'm expecting my ex boyfriend's child and I don't know if I should tell him and break his current girlfriend's heart. Basically, when we broke up, we made a stupid agreement to still have sex from time to time. I ended things because I got sick of ...
A. 26 October 2013: Cindy and YouWish said it.
IF you plan on keeping this baby you HAVE to tell him. Secondly you HAVE to plan to be a single mom for a while, because he isn't worth a pot to piss in as far as a father figure is he?
You think you will be a happy ... (read in full...)
Baby momma drama or MM who swears he's getting a divorce?
Q. I moved to another state to be with a man I lived with for 5 years. He moved here to be with his daughter in the mean time I met another guy back home who treated me like a queen for the short time I knew him. He wants me to move back and be with ...
A. 26 October 2013: *Groan* here we go again.
What is it with people having absolutely no common sense when it comes to relationships? No moral compass?
Sorry, it's getting old, with people "dating" married people - What is it that YOU think you have with him or... (read in full...)
Drunken horseplay, and nine years later she's openly rude.
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. Thanks for considering my question. Nine years ago, I was the Best Man at a dear friend's wedding. It was a wonderful, joyous and fairly raucous affair. High energy, lots of joking and horsing around, and lots of laughs. ...
A. 25 October 2013: Ignore her.
There is nothing to feel guilty about, certainly not 9 years later. It was drunken play/banter at a wedding and if she is still offended she must be some uptight cow.
For whatever reason she is mad at your OR she really doesn't r... (read in full...)
Does my ex want me back after I had a miscarriage?
Q. Hi. I am doing no contact with my ex but he keeps coming into my work. I am so mad with him for what he did to me I don't think I can ever forgive him. We have split up once before and he would not stop ringing my fone for weeks and then eventua...
A. 25 October 2013: He a selfish brat. Definitely NOT ready for a serious commitment OR a child.
If you hadn't lost the baby he wouldn't have wanted you back.
So here is my thought, he wants you back because it is familiar and he doesn't want YOU to find someone ... (read in full...)
The spark is gone with my b/f, and there's this other guy ...
Q. I guess I will start by saying that I have a boyfriend for 2 years. We are in a very good terms with him and I care deeply for him and so does he. I guess it's love. My boyfriend and I have been on many adventures. I love him still, but I think I am ...
A. 25 October 2013: Fiance or wife, her "title" really shouldn't matter - he has been with her for 30 years, so in all intent and purpose SHE is his WIFE, and you know that. That should make the "doctor" off limits without a doubt.
Why you would even consider... (read in full...)
Do I owe a family member because she allowed me to park my car at her place?
Q. I need advice so I bought my very first car by myself. I'm so happy. When I look at my car I just smile and just glow because I did it all working 2 part time jobs. Taking up to 4/6 buses a day. So I worked hard for my car. Now here's what I need ...
A. 25 October 2013: Good for you :)
And yes, telling your cousin no or hell no! to using your car is smart, you can however give him some tips on how much it takes to BUY his own.
Enjoy your lunch with your aunt.... (read in full...)
Is it usual for guy 1 to ask about other dates?
Q. Hi, another internet dating question. If you are talking to more than one guy, is it usual for guy 1 to ask you if you've got any other dates lined up? Basically guy 1 chatted to me for ages, and when I asked to meey.him he ssid he would if he w...
A. 24 October 2013: I think it's OK to ask and you did the right thing, you told the truth.
Basically #1 is telling you that if #2 doesn't work out for more dates, to give him a "poke" and he will take you out on a date.
Yes, asking where is none of his business,... (read in full...)
Do I owe a family member because she allowed me to park my car at her place?
Q. I need advice so I bought my very first car by myself. I'm so happy. When I look at my car I just smile and just glow because I did it all working 2 part time jobs. Taking up to 4/6 buses a day. So I worked hard for my car. Now here's what I need ...
A. 24 October 2013: I agree she DID do you a favor, and yes the polite think should be to pay it back IF she asks - doesn't mean you are now her personal chauffeur.
When people do favors, it is NICE to give back. Family or not. It's the decent thing to do.
I... (read in full...)
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