Like what
she writes?
... Add *indyCares to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
|
| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
|
I think I am in love with my best friend's boyfriend!
Q. i am in love with my gay best friends boyfriend lets call him jake (not his real name) me and jake had become really close and the other day i stayed round my bestfriends called alex (not his real name) and while i was round alex's jake was there ...
A. 24 July 2010: That explains why Jake kissed you, but it is still not a good reason to stab in the back your best friend Alex :)... (read in full...)
Girl rejects me and then wants to talk to me. Whats her deal?
Q. So I ask this one girl out very nicely (just asked if she wanted to go to a show my cousin is playing at and grab dinner or something) and she said she had something to do. So i dint know if she was rejecting me or if she actually had something to ...
A. 29 April 2010: Ah well-they say everybody deserves a second chance :)... (read in full...)
I like them both but which one do I choose?
Q. i have a boyfriend who on the scale of 1-10 i like him 8. but i like this other boy loads and on a scale of 1-10 i like 9. i thought i loved my boyfriend, but he really really shy and im getting really bored of it, we have snogged once but he hasnt ...
A. 28 April 2010: See?..Then you have your answer :don't do unto others...
Sorry my dear, I understand you may be confused,but I mantain my opinion. If while you are dating a boy, and in the meantime you are always thinking about someone else, and having misg... (read in full...)
He says that he loves me, but he dumped me, what's going on?
Q. My ex is STILL saying he loves me, it has been a month since he dumped me. I told him to stop saying this to me but he said no, and that he would always love and care about me. He said,why can't you accept my love,whatever form it is in?..What does ...
A. 28 April 2010: I guess that after all it's a matter of semantics and of the meaning you give to the word "love".
I think he does not mean "love" like being in love. If you take away the romantic implications, sure you can love a someone who is not your part... (read in full...)
When did I conceive?
Q. Hi well i'm 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant. And i was just trying to work out the day i conceived. does anyone have any idea.. I'm due 11th Novemeber and my LMP was Jan 28th to the 4th of feb... Any help thanks x...
A. 27 April 2010: If you are gonna be 12 weeks on Thursday that means that your egg has been fecundated around February 11th.Since the sperm,though,can survive in the womb up to 4 days that means that yes,you might have been fecundated by intercourse had before ... (read in full...)
I like them both but which one do I choose?
Q. i have a boyfriend who on the scale of 1-10 i like him 8. but i like this other boy loads and on a scale of 1-10 i like 9. i thought i loved my boyfriend, but he really really shy and im getting really bored of it, we have snogged once but he hasnt ...
A. 27 April 2010: This is called passive-aggressive behaviour,and it does not feel that great whan you are on the receiving end of it. In fact, it feels rather horrible. But you will realize it only when it happens to you . Then maybe you'll change your mind about ... (read in full...)
Does she really want to get to know me?
Q. Hello. Ok, here goes my question, which probably has been exhausted here on numerous occasions. - Met a girl at the doctor's office. Left my name and digits with her over the phone. She said she would think about it. She contacted me a f...
A. 27 April 2010: Let me tell you about my shoes.
I've got a few pairs of shoes that I don't fancy that much. They are perfectly wearable,good shoes- just for some reason I am not excited about them. I don't throw them away. I keep them in my closet. I am not quit... (read in full...)
My bf wants me to change the way I look in exchange for his love!
Q. My bf wants me to change the way I look in exchange for his love... We started with an internet relationship and everything was perfect until we met in person a few months later. He was the perfect fairytale bf. After he saw me our relation...
A. 27 April 2010: You must be kidding. " I am ashamed to be seen with you " and after 6 months you have not had enough yet of this kind of psychological abuse ?...
This guy is a moron, and a control freak. If you lose more weight and get a perfect body, he'll find... (read in full...)
My bf wants me to change the way I look in exchange for his love!
Q. My bf wants me to change the way I look in exchange for his love... We started with an internet relationship and everything was perfect until we met in person a few months later. He was the perfect fairytale bf. After he saw me our relation...
A. 27 April 2010: You must be kidding. " I am ashamed to be seen with you " and after 6 months you have not had enough yet of this kind of psychological abuse ?...
This guy is a moron, and a control freak. If you lose more weight and get a perfect body, he'll find... (read in full...)
Do you think he is playing mind games with me?
Q. i feel so down,in march this year i took my mum out one wednesday afternoon to a place for lunch,unknown to us they had a guy playing a piano.i didnt take much notice to be honest my 80yr old mum enjoyed it! at the end this guy came straight over to ...
A. 27 April 2010: Don't be upset, these things happen quite often. I guess it's a while you are out of the dating game.
I think you read a little too much in his initial attentions. He has been friendly, he might have been also a bit flirty, but he did not mean anyt... (read in full...)
Is this normal at the beginning of a relationship and how can I resolve it?
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for coming up to 4 months. I am 31 so is he. I feel that I have matured a lot compared to my behaviour in previous relationships and have learned not to analyse every single thing that happens to be somethin...
A. 27 April 2010: That happened to me too.
There are a lot of insecure people around. Not just women.
I had the privilege of getting a good education, and of having the chance to read a lot, travel a lot, etc. But I make a point to never show off. What's there to... (read in full...)
I have very little self-confidence left
Q. I currently live in Tokyo and am stuck here for about another year and a half and I have the same dilemma that any other non-Japanese female has here: I can't find a decent guy. My self-confidence has taken a real dive since I've been here just ...
A. 27 April 2010: Oh no, -wrong way to look at things. You forgat you have an important ace up your sleeve. The exotic factor. Exotic for them.
I am Italian and while being reasonably attractive, I am alike a few millions of Italian women and nothing makes me part... (read in full...)
Weird pimple on vagina
Q. i have something really weird i had research herped pictures and symtomps and i dont think i have it but but what else could it be? in my vaginal area on my lips i have been having for the laast month like small pimples but i sqeezed them and ...
A. 27 April 2010: From your description they could be small sebaceous cysts.That would be no big deal,you can have them easily "zapped" in local anasthesia. Anyway, rather than guessing- the best thing to do is going to see your doctor !... (read in full...)
Attracted to fictional characters
Q. Thanks for all help in advance. Recently, I've started to become attracted to ficitonal characters. I've done so in the past, but not to the extent I have now. I just... feel some sort of chemistry (personality-wise, not like we're communicating or ...
A. 27 April 2010: That reminds of when I used to have a crush on MacGyver:).
Dream on, there's nothing wrong about it. As long as it does not prevent you from functioning normally in daily life, and does not keep you from getting interested in real people, of cour... (read in full...)
13 year old boy cant stop thinking about masterbating..
Q. *OP's own title* ok, i am 13 years old and i recently hit puberty to the point where i can now ejaculate, its been about 1 and a half months and since the first time i did ejaculate, i have not been able to stop myself from masterbating on a dail...
A. 27 April 2010: Don't worry. You are a normal regular healthy 13 years old boy. It's all good- and no, you won't go blind :)... (read in full...)
Mate denies cheating but phone number of someone keeps popping up!
Q. If you are in a relationship with someone who has cheated on you in the past and you come across a number in their phone, and when you talk to the person that the number belongs to and they tell you they have been having a sexual relationship with ...
A. 27 April 2010: No it's not. It may be not that important to him- but obviously it is to you ,so he might as well do what you say just to put your mind at ease. After all, it's not like you are paranoid and controlling- he knows that he has betrayed your trust ... (read in full...)
Is it true that for many guys they can totally separate sex from any emotion?
Q. Is it true that for many guys they can totally separate sex from any emotion? I was a virgin before my current BF but he's had three casual sex experiences, one of them a one night stand. I don't get how he could have sex with girls he did...
A. 27 April 2010: Yes it's true. I remember discussing this with some male friends and one gave me this example : it's like going to a restaurant and order a steak. The restaurant is nice, the service is good, the steak delicious. Everything is fine. Even so, that ... (read in full...)
Am I just a game to him?
Q. Help!! This is alittle confussing and may be long..Sorry..I am a married women of about 19 years and have kids. A couple of years ago a old friend of mine came home for and we ran into each other. We exchanged numbers and then things started t...
A. 27 April 2010: Uhm. Pertsonally I am convinced that "I am too busy " is 95percent of the times just a lame excuse. After all,how heavy can your workload be or how intense your social life to preventi you from sending a "Hi I miss you " by text ? It's a matter of ... (read in full...)
If fiancee was drugged said no, and doesn't remember, doesn't that qualify her as a virgin?
Q. My fiancee and I are both graduating college next month and getting married this summer. We are both virgins and both wanted to stay that way for marriage. Problem is my fiancee had a situation about 3 years ago, and now she's saying things to...
A. 26 April 2010: If she has been penetrated and got her hymen broken, technically she is not a virgin anymore. But who cares about technicalities ? If your gf was the victim of a date-rape, she is much more of a virgin than thousands of girls who get married with ... (read in full...)
He's stressed, no contact..should I contact him or will it cause more stress for him?
Q. I ve tried the internet dating thing for a good two years now with a varying degree of success. Several weeks ago I started chatting to a guy and we got on really well. Over the Easter holidays we decided to meet up and had a great time. Since the...
A. 26 April 2010: Please stay away from that phone and give the guy some elbow room. It's just about 24 hours you are not in touch - way to early to panic,or to decide that he has cooled down.
While it's true that quite often " I am stressed " is a just a dipl... (read in full...)
Is it normal for me not to go ahead and sleep with other women when she says it's ok?
Q. I don't know what to make of this. I have only had sex with one woman. She and I are together and we plan on getting married. Although we haven't set a date we are serious. She has had sex with seven other guys before. She keeps telling me ...
A. 26 April 2010: I do not know any woman who would be so saintly unselfish to the point of pushing you into the arms of other women so that in future you won't have to say you missed out.
I think that your girlfriend is either saying that because ir sounds cool... (read in full...)
He acts interested but then always leaves without saying goodbye!
Q. I met this guy in January through a good friend of mine on a night out clubbing. He kept eyeing me and made a pass at me but I was quite shy at the time, and even though I was attracted to him I stayed away. After that I added him on facebook but we ...
A. 26 April 2010: That's what happens when people drink too much. They tend to forget about good manners :)
He does not sound overly interested. If he were, he could get in touch when he is sober and set a date for taking you out. But he's very vague about it .
I... (read in full...)
Ex texted me acting as though we never split up. WHY?
Q. I have an update to a previous situation with my now ex girlfriend. I'm seeing a new girl, she's more my own age and really nice, we're getting on well and I'm optimistic. There's none of the games that my ex played but I put that down to the age ...
A. 26 April 2010: It was possible that she was testing the waters to see if you could reconnect ,but you told her you have deleted her number, so hopefully she'll get the hint and will leave you alone. If she does not, just tell her politely the truth : that you are ... (read in full...)
Girl rejects me and then wants to talk to me. Whats her deal?
Q. So I ask this one girl out very nicely (just asked if she wanted to go to a show my cousin is playing at and grab dinner or something) and she said she had something to do. So i dint know if she was rejecting me or if she actually had something to ...
A. 26 April 2010: Why should she be pitying you ? She was acting normal- you see someone you know,you go say hi.
Don't overstress about that. Just ignore her.
You can't stop her from showing up at the frat, and you can't assume she is showing up just because ... (read in full...)
No more feelings or too busy?
Q. i met this really nice and cute guy. everything started out like a regular friendship until i had problems with my ex. i was very stressed and upset but somehow he was there for me. he made me feel better, telling me all these sweet things and our ...
A. 26 April 2010: This is a generalization that allows for individual exceptions but in general "too busy" is just a lame excuse. Who is he ? The secretary of United Nations ? The mayor of New York ?.... A quick phone call takes 5 minutes, a line of text 2 seconds. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't trust me, but I want him to be happy
Q. My ex broke up with me over a text message, and I told him it was over for good (we had a habit of breaking up and making up). Now he texts me and calls me everyday, telling me he's sorry, and how I'm making a mistake, that why can't I give him one ...
A. 26 April 2010: If I were you I'd care about MY happiness- not his.
He is being childish- he is stomping his feet and throwing tantrums until he gets his way. Once he has convinced you,he will be back to his old ways in no time.
People never really change ,... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't trust me, but I want him to be happy
Q. My ex broke up with me over a text message, and I told him it was over for good (we had a habit of breaking up and making up). Now he texts me and calls me everyday, telling me he's sorry, and how I'm making a mistake, that why can't I give him one ...
A. 26 April 2010: If I were you I'd care about MY happiness- not his.
He is being childish- he is stomping his feet and throwing tantrums until he gets his way. Once he has convinced you,he will be back to his old ways in no time.
People never really change ,... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to end an unhappy relationship for a happy one with an ex?
Q. if someone (already involved in a long term relationship that saddly brings that person mostly unhappieness) happens to reunite with an ex from ten years ago, found that the feelings for their ex was still very, very strong, would it be wrong to ...
A. 26 April 2010: If you mean you would pursue the feelings for the ex while remaining in the unhappy long term relationship,yes,it would be wrong.... (read in full...)
She, me and him--I don't want to be in a relationship with 3 players!
Q. Hands down, my biggest problem with my boyfriend over the past 4 years has been his ex-girlfriend. I want to tell him that I am not comfortable with him maintaining a friendship with her, but I also do not want to control who he can and cannot be ...
A. 26 April 2010: Don't work on trusting him again. He has abundantly proven that he cannot be trusted. If you stay with him, your couple will be a threesome for an indefinite length of time. Whether they have sex or not.... (read in full...)
I trust him just not his friends.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months, it's been a long distance relationship the whole time and I only get to see him every 2-3 months. My boyfriend is going out with his friends next weekend, he's getting drunk etc. Thing is I don...
A. 26 April 2010: Pardon my bluntness but yr bf sounds like an obnoxious immature little jerk. And I would be wary of a young guy that seems to find enjoyment only in binge drinking and hanging out with a bunch of apes. The company you keep says a lot about your ... (read in full...)
I'm waiting for him to end it but he isn't.
Q. why do the guys dont tell to their gf, if they dont want to be with them? instead of doing this, they do not text to their gf.. Here is my situation, me and my bf start not to text to each other and he texted to me today asking me, if we still co...
A. 26 April 2010: Men very often use this passive- aggressive technique. Because they don't want to hurt your feelings, because they don't want to look like the "bad guy " ,because they are terrified by the perspective of tears,scenes and accusation, or more simply ... (read in full...)
Self conscious me is worried what she will think.
Q. hi I really like this girl. But there is a problim I have a very small penis, I am 33 and never had a girl friend or sex because of this. Like i said I really like this girl. Don't no what to do I am afraid she might just laugh at me if we ever have ...
A. 26 April 2010: If she laughs at you because of your penis size, she is a horrible rude insensitive person with whom you don't need to have anything to do. But it's very very improbable that this may happen. A normal woman does not like or dislike you because of ... (read in full...)
Confused and wondering what this means.
Q. My boyfriend told me last night that he will not leave me for another woman but will for his son. Then he said I'm honest just don't ask me if I slept with, what does it mean. We were suppose to get closer after his court with his ex nut it's made ...
A. 26 April 2010: I guess it's a diplomatic way to say that he is considering ( or at least not excluding ) getting back with his ex for the sake of their son.... (read in full...)
I don't want my sister to date my ex!
Q. I really need advice. My problem: My sister is constantly texting my ex-boyfriend and hanging out with him. People that don't even know them or me have come up and asked me if they are dating. It's really awkward for me. Plus, one of my friend...
A. 26 April 2010: Normally I would totally agree with you- you don't date your friends and sisters exes. But in your case, to tell you the truth it does not sounds like such a major infraction.
You are 16. You dated him for one month. You dumped him. It was more... (read in full...)
In love and hurting - should I tell him how I feel?
Q. I'm 17 and as dramatic and cliché as is sounds, I love someone. He is dating somebody else and they aren't really serious, but all the same, I'm pretty sure he doesnt like me. In four months I will leave for university so I want to tell him how I ...
A. 26 April 2010: Don't say anything. In 4 months you'll be at university, there's a see a new exciting opportunities waiting for you.... (read in full...)
I think I am in love with my best friend's boyfriend!
Q. i am in love with my gay best friends boyfriend lets call him jake (not his real name) me and jake had become really close and the other day i stayed round my bestfriends called alex (not his real name) and while i was round alex's jake was there ...
A. 25 April 2010: You are not in love, I don't think you can be in love with Jake after just a couple of kisses. Don't tell anything to Alex, but don't go teasing his bf behind his back anymore... (read in full...)
She went from warm to cold in 48 hours..what happened?
Q. Right guys, this will be long, been seeing a girl now for 6 weeks or so, everything was going great. We really clicked, loads in common, she kept saying we should go here and do this go here and do that, which i was cool with. I did the same and...
A. 25 April 2010: This is just a guess without any evidence to support it, of course. But I suspect she might have been keeping her options open. Like seeing somebody else ,or pursuing somebody else, during the weeks she was going out with you- and then she has, so ... (read in full...)
Very confused, am I over analyzing?
Q. Hello Sorry if this is long winded I "met" a nice guy online 6-7 weeks ago and we began online chatting, then texting(lots, quite flirty too), email and a few long phonecalls, seemed to get on well and have a laugh, so finally met up two weeks ago...
A. 25 April 2010: So far so good. Everything is fine. Now don't freak out after just the second date. Don't smother him, don't press him,let things flow naturally. Don't worry if he does not text you back right away- as long as he does within a reasonable time. He ... (read in full...)
Does he really like (have feelings for) me or am I just some form of "female companion"?
Q. This is going to be long, but I will try to keep it short. So I met this guy about two weeks ago through an internet dating site, we talked for about a week before finally meeting up. Our date went perfectly well, a lot of talking/getting ...
A. 25 April 2010: I think he likes you. Men with such a busy schedule rarely would bother making time for a girl just for the sake of companionship.... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and a virgin and I want to have sex. If I don't wait for the right person, will I regret it?
Q. I'm 15 and still a virgin. All of my friends have had sex, i think im ready to but i really don't know what to do. i m not sure whether to wait for the right person or just go ahead and do it. if i don't wait for the right person will i regret it ...
A. 25 April 2010: You surely will rregret it. The first time is a delicate moment from many points of you- you need to share it with someone who loves you, or at least like you enough, to make the effort of being sensitive to your physical neeeds and attentive to ... (read in full...)
I like my friend but he doesn't want anything to do with me!
Q. im feel so empty right now...i like a friend of mine and starting from yesterday...he stop talking to me...its been like killing me and i want to cry...i couldn't seek help from any friends...he seems like he dont want to have anything to do with me ...
A. 25 April 2010: It's too early to despair. One day ? He may have had any sort of personal problems, or things going through his head, or just having been in a bad mood. Wait at least one week and he if he still does not talk to you you might text him or e-mail him ... (read in full...)
He keeps receiving pictures of semi-naked girls and texting them but claims it is only "like porn"! Should I forgive him or will it happen again?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. After 3 months of going out i found pictures of other girls on his phone with no top on they had sent him. I also found very forward texting to one girl in particular who he was speaking to on msn , Sh...
A. 25 April 2010: Of course it will happen again. Probably you'd find it out later, though - because he'll just learn to cover his tracks better.
Forgive me for sounding cynical, but ...you have already caught it him red-handed, what ? 4 or 5 times ?... How many... (read in full...)
Should I pursue this secret relationship with this teacher?
Q. Ok, so I need some help. I'm 21 years old and just got a job at my school 2 months ago to help out another teacher with some things. I work in an office house, where there are 6 or 7 teacher offices. I work in the kitchen, so when teachers pass ...
A. 25 April 2010: You answered yourself. You don't want to be messing around with a man in his 30's ,married with children. Plus, it it comes out it could cost you your jobs.
Cancel your Wednesday date.... (read in full...)
We want to have sex but my poor body image is getting in the way
Q. I just started dating this guy I've liked for over a year and he's very sexy and wants to go further than I feel comfortable. Well it's not that Im uncomfortable, I'm more self consious. Half because I'm afraid he won't like the way i look or feel ...
A. 25 April 2010: So true,Rescuer.
Last week I was at my mum's house, distractly leafing through old family pictures. My eye fell on a young pretty brunette, I said : Oh how cute, who is she ?
Believe it or not, it was me at 18. I was adorable !
If I thin... (read in full...)
| *indyCares's friends
These are mutual friends, so *indyCares has
added them and they have added *indyCares!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
