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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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I beleive my husband loves somebody else, how can we repair our marriage?
Q. my husband.loves me as a wife.he has fallen in love.he also remain in contect with his college and says she is just a friend.and his love is virtual.he feels his part is missing he does not forget her.but he is mine and will be till the end of his ...
A. 23 April 2010: Ok darling- tell me something, I am afraid I did not understand. Explain me so perhaps I can give you advice.
Has your husband at least accepted to end his emotional affair ? Has he accepted to cut contacts with that woman ? ( If he said yes and ... (read in full...)
I beleive my husband loves somebody else, how can we repair our marriage?
Q. my husband.loves me as a wife.he has fallen in love.he also remain in contect with his college and says she is just a friend.and his love is virtual.he feels his part is missing he does not forget her.but he is mine and will be till the end of his ...
A. 22 April 2010: Hi, I was gonna answer your postiung of April 21st saying, ok, try to relax, do not nag him, do not pester him, he may be still thinking about her, but after all he has cut contact with her and he is staying with you...
But I read yr posting of t... (read in full...)
I feel like we were fine just a few days ago! But now my boyfriend does not seem himself
Q. hi, i really hope some of you can help me. my boyfriend and i have been together for just over two years. he went through a rough patch late last year when he was having problems finding a job (and graduated college 6 months before that). we...
A. 17 April 2010: I am really sorry to hear that you feel heartbroken . I can imagine it's tough for you and ,as you say, you don't know what to do.
Honestly, there's not much you can do right now. He says that he needs space and time apart from you- and you need... (read in full...)
I beleive my husband loves somebody else, how can we repair our marriage?
Q. my husband.loves me as a wife.he has fallen in love.he also remain in contect with his college and says she is just a friend.and his love is virtual.he feels his part is missing he does not forget her.but he is mine and will be till the end of his ...
A. 6 April 2010: If you want you can send a private message to my mailbox on this site. It will not be posted and I'll be the only one to read it. I hope to hear from you- and in the meantime just stay cool and don't freak out , ok ? :)... (read in full...)
I used her frienship to vent my frustration. Now that I got to know her I don't want her frienship. How do I reject her?
Q. I have been going through a lot of stuff with being unemployed and without a significant other in my life. Seems people in my life including family want me to talk only about happy things and I've felt kind of rejected for a serious amount of time. ...
A. 6 April 2010: This is not a direct answe to your question. I am sure there will be other people giving you practical advice about how to disentangle yourself from an unwanted friendship. You say you are having loads of different problems which make you feel dep... (read in full...)
Is making out with another girl considered cheating?
Q. I have been in a serious relationship over for a year and a half. Occasionally, when I go out with my friends, I make out with other girls. My boyfriend is aware of this. However, the other night, I ended up sleeping with another girl. Should I tell ...
A. 6 April 2010: and why should not be considered cheating ? Because the person you have been intimate with was a female rather than a male ?... (read in full...)
I think he's lying to me.
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months now and I think he keeps lying to me. First of all (this was about 8 months ago) i found some messages on his phone from and to another girl. She kept asking loads of times if she cou...
A. 5 April 2010: This guy lies a lot, you caught him red handed many times . Even his friends say he's a liar. So we may assume he is a liar.
So way should he be sincere when he tells you he loves you and you are his whole world etc.etc. ? Maybe he lies about that... (read in full...)
I'm beside myself now that he's away -- should I break it off?
Q. me and my boyfriend been friends for four years. we started dating after high school and fell in love shorthy after that. when i left for college i was five hours away still our love stay strong but, now he just left for the army and i dont know ...
A. 5 April 2010: So you want to leave him because you miss him too much ?
And if you'leave him when you are still so in love - wouldn't you miss him terribly anyway ?... (read in full...)
Help! I'm stuck in the Friend Zone.
Q. I met a woman about a year ago and have been seeing her at least weekly on a friend basis. We never go more than 2 days without chatting, texting, or hanging out eating/drinking together. The odd thing is that she has a boyfriend who she sleeps ...
A. 5 April 2010: I know this won't sound very kind,but- haven't you thought that she might just not find you physically attractive ? Which by the way it does not mean you must be ugly . Just that you are not her type. She said that she'd never sleep with you. And ... (read in full...)
Do I ruin the chances I get and how do I get over my ex
Q. Its been 2 years and im still not over my ex, He doesn't share the same feelings i understand that. im just so upset i really want to get over him. He was my first bf but why am i so attached him he didnt even kiss me, i feel so unattractive because ...
A. 5 April 2010: yes two years is quite a while- but the deeper the wound is, the longer it will take to heal. don't obssess about time. It will take what it will take. I notice that you may not be totally over your ex but at least you do not sound depresse... (read in full...)
Is it silly to leave someone because they won't help around the house?
Q. Hi everyone, I have a serious dilemma! I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years but I am seriously thinking of leaving him. We moved in together weeks after meeting and have been together ever since, I was 16 when the relationship started. Lately ...
A. 5 April 2010: You seem very worried about him not doing his share of house chores, but I would not say this is your main problem. Your main problem is that he has a temper and he scares you. When you fight, you feel he comes close to hitting you, even if then ... (read in full...)
Married at 16, now regretting it!
Q. Hi I'm 22 years old and I'm desperate I meet my wife when I was 15 she was 19 years old she got pregnan when I just turn 16yrs old so we got married she was 20yrs.. after 3yrs of of been togheter she stop using birth control and got pregnan again ...
A. 5 April 2010: That's a though one. You might have made mistakes, and maybe done your part to contribute sinking your marriage, but I agree with you.what can you expect from a 16 years old boy- they should not be allowed to go to the local mall alone :)- imagine ... (read in full...)
How can I stay friends without getting too attached to this man when we are both married?
Q. Well here goes. I am a 35 year old woman, married for 15 years to a great friend. Thing is that is the ONLY thing my husband is, is a great FRIEND. He and I got together under less than ideal circumstances, but tried to make the most of it. The...
A. 5 April 2010: Just give him a wide berth, I do not mean becoming rude or cold all of a sudden. Just do not go to plays or movies you two alone. If he invites you- decline. Say you are busy, or tired. See him just when you got out with your spouses too. Don't ask ... (read in full...)
Is he playing hard to get or just not interested?
Q. I need help with working out whether this man is playing hard to get - or just not interested. I work with this man and he is quite a lot older than me. We really clicked and we had a laugh togther, as well as more emotional discussions. He ...
A. 5 April 2010: It sounds just like normal male posturing and I don't think it means anything special. It means that he finds you attractive. It means that he likes flirting. It means that he's a bit vain and likes getting your attention. Stuff like that.
It does... (read in full...)
I don't understand what he wants!
Q. Hi there everyone... I would really appreciate your advice as am feeling rather confused. About 5 months ago i met a guy *Dan a week after spliting up with my boyfriend *Ryan. We both fell pretty strong i think, it was quite an intense connecti...
A. 5 April 2010: He wants to eat his cake and keep it too. A dead giveaway was when he told you he was living with his ex as friends yet you were not allowed to visit there. Why ?
As a matter of fact, at some point in my life I shared an apartment with an ex boyf... (read in full...)
I want a baby with my older Husband
Q. I am 24 and recently married my best friend and the most perfect man. He is 65 and we dated for 4 years before we married. I have a 6 year old from my first marriage and he has 3 grown children and we all get along great. I recently have ...
A. 5 April 2010: It's not wrong, it's just not very sensible.
First it's YOUR desire, he does not share it and if he goes along with your plan it will be just to keep you happy ,not because he feels any urge to be a father again. Second, even if he can reverse his ... (read in full...)
I beleive my husband loves somebody else, how can we repair our marriage?
Q. my husband.loves me as a wife.he has fallen in love.he also remain in contect with his college and says she is just a friend.and his love is virtual.he feels his part is missing he does not forget her.but he is mine and will be till the end of his ...
A. 5 April 2010: Ok . the good news is that you both are willing to save your marriage and that your husband understands that if he wants to be with you he need to give up his infatuation (because that's what it is. ).
The bad news is that this not easy either for ... (read in full...)
My g/f wants me to skip my brother's wedding for our anniversary
Q. Dear readers, I have quite the tricky situation on my hands and I would like to know what you guys would do if you were in my situation. Here it goes. Me and my girlfriend began dating on October 8th, 2008. We've been relatively okay, except we ...
A. 5 April 2010: Rent a tuxedo in which you look absolutely dashing,get an expensive haircut, smile and ask out the cutest among the bridesmaids :)... (read in full...)
Was he interested in me or is he cooling off?
Q. I'm confused about a fellow co-worker's intentions and therefore, need advice on this. (This is a long, detailed question so bear with me. Thank you.) I've been working as an accountant in an office and have become good friends with a fellow ma...
A. 5 April 2010: I think he was interested but hesitated before making his move because, like you say, you weren't too encouraging and he knew you were going out on dates and had other suitors. Alas, timing is everything :) for whatever reason, the courting process ... (read in full...)
Is my brother in law just trying to rub my nose in it?
Q. I went through a very painful breakup with my ex a couple of years ago, and was left feeling very hurt and betrayed. The ex just happens to be a friend of my brother in law who keeps dropping the ex into conversation (telling me how he is doing ...
A. 5 April 2010: Some times it all depends not from what it is said but from how it is said.
maybe in the past when your brother in law brought up the subject of your ex, you overreacted a bit, or interrupted him abruptly, or got angry at him, and he read that as "... (read in full...)
I feel lonely and unloved in my marriage, but excited by LDR
Q. I have been married for 5 years now but i feel lonely and unloved my husband cant get an erection in the first two years he did try to get help with ths from the doctor but has given up on this he did try and fullfill me in other ways but i was left ...
A. 5 April 2010: A sexless marriage is not really a marriage and you can't be blamed for missing physical intimacy and wanting to leave. But before that, make sure you two have done anything possible to solve his sexual problems. You say that he seeked help from ... (read in full...)
I beleive my husband loves somebody else, how can we repair our marriage?
Q. my husband.loves me as a wife.he has fallen in love.he also remain in contect with his college and says she is just a friend.and his love is virtual.he feels his part is missing he does not forget her.but he is mine and will be till the end of his ...
A. 5 April 2010: Strange way to put it. YOU have to regain his trust and his love ?... In my opinion if one bothers to marry at all , it's because he chooses and commits to give his love to his wife exclusively, both physical and emotional. If he has a virtual ... (read in full...)
He wants to still be in a relationship with me, but in separate houses
Q. my partner and I have lived together for 6 years, we had both my 2 and his 2 children living with us which put a strain on our relationship and led ti arguements. he left me abruptly 4 months ago, although we have continued seeing each other as ...
A. 5 April 2010: As long as you are sure your relationship is sound and based on mutual love and committment, it may work. If the main or only source of friction between you were the pressures and demands of an extended family, your relationship may end up being ... (read in full...)
My mother puts my husband under a microscope - but only looks for the negative!
Q. My mother feels that my husband is often selfish, disrespectful and inconsiderate to me. My husband loves me very much and I think overall we are happy and I agree that he could be all of the above at times, but we have a good time toghther most of ...
A. 5 April 2010: Stop discussing your marriage and your husband with your mother. If she brings it up, just change subject, and if she insists, tell her you do not wish to talk about that because you feel it's disloyal toward the man that you have chosen and made ... (read in full...)
I want to talk to him when we are not drunk, ... should I, ... or should I just leave him alone?
Q. Hey just after a bit of advice. I met this guy about 6 months ago after seeing him around a bit. At first he was really keen texting me etc and went to his house a couple of times after meeting up out (didn't have sex though). Then he started to ...
A. 5 April 2010: You could text him and ask him to meet him out of the pub and when you are sober, but then ? It sounds like getting drunk ,and therefore aggressive and confrontational, is something that happens to you fairly often, so even if you two get together, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend walked into a situation and now doesn't trust me!
Q. Need to gain his trust back, how do I do it? My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a few months, we saw eachother everyday for two months straight, fell in love right away but rushed into things incredibly too fast. I'm not used to having a...
A. 5 April 2010: So,you go to a bar, get drunk, kiss the first guy who's groping at you because he's drunk too. No big deal, you say. Worse things happen.
personally I might agree with you, but have you tried seeing the scene through your bf's eyes ?
Use your ima... (read in full...)
Should I continue the relationship even though we can't see each other much?
Q. well you might already know from my other questions me and my boyfriend had been on and off so a month ago i finally made my decision to break up for good. now i have a new boyfriend and he's nothing like my old one. we laugh we joke, and you never ...
A. 5 April 2010: 45 minutes it's not such a long distance :) You could meet up at least once a week, I guess. Remember- always choose quality over quantity. Better to see less often a guy that you really like a lot, than seeing every guy a guy that's not so special ... (read in full...)
To date my ex brother in law or no?
Q. My Question: Would it be okay to date my ex brother in law? I've read a bunch of post on this with different variations in situations. However, most of the ones I've seen is where the female is having an affair with her current brother in law. ...
A. 5 April 2010: I don't think that dating your ex brother in law would be so weird or in bad taste, after all. You divorced amicably 4 years ago. and your ex husband has moved on. The brother in law is actually a stepbrother and he's not close at all to yr ex ... (read in full...)
Extreme pda problem
Q. So my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 4 months now and we are completely happy, to be honest the best relationship ive had. There is just one thing, lately he has been hanging with me and my friends alot, which i love, but he is a huge ...
A. 4 April 2010: It's not that weird, it's just something that turns him on. But if you don't like it, or it makes you feel uncomfortable, just tell him to stop doing it. You don't need to do whatever he wants just to please him.... (read in full...)
Tired of shaving but don't want to wax down there!
Q. Hey im 17 and have been shaving my vagina for 3years now and im tierd of them growing back within a day its a nusence is there anymore solutions to this because i cant just stop shaving as i look really hairy and it isnt atractive at all, but i ...
A. 4 April 2010: Why do you feel that you have to look like a Barbie doll, or a prepuberal child ?. If your pubic hair is really too bushy,just keep it neat trimming it with nail scissors , around the bikini line or where necessary.... (read in full...)
My g/f wants me to skip my brother's wedding for our anniversary
Q. Dear readers, I have quite the tricky situation on my hands and I would like to know what you guys would do if you were in my situation. Here it goes. Me and my girlfriend began dating on October 8th, 2008. We've been relatively okay, except we ...
A. 4 April 2010: your gf sounds totally unreasonable. How old is she, 12 ? That would be the only possible excuse, because any young adult,or even a teenager, would understand that this is your brother's wedding we are talking about, not the wedding of some work ... (read in full...)
When I spend a lot of time with her I feel claustrophobic, does anyone else have this problem?
Q. I'm dating this girl who moved from Arizon to where to Long Beach and we've been seeing each other for four months. Everytime we spend a lot of time together, I start to feel claustrophobic. I've been honest with her about these feelings but we both ...
A. 4 April 2010: Just don't spend too much time with her.
I used to habe a bf that I was really crazy about. He lived in another town, so we never met during the week, and he would come to my place on Friday night and leave early Monday morning. At first I was more... (read in full...)
I feel like we were fine just a few days ago! But now my boyfriend does not seem himself
Q. hi, i really hope some of you can help me. my boyfriend and i have been together for just over two years. he went through a rough patch late last year when he was having problems finding a job (and graduated college 6 months before that). we...
A. 4 April 2010: Yes, there's something rather off here.
First, never underestimate female intuition- most times ( even if not always ) when we have this little nagging voice which says "something is wrong "- something IS wrong after all.
Second , let's use logi... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 3 years but for past year everything has gone downhill, nobody knows we are dating.
Q. Im 41 and my girlfriend is 25. We been dating for 3 years but for past year everything has gone downhill. We split just over a year ago because I was falsely accused of something at work. It was all cleared up but the damage was done. During the...
A. 4 April 2010: sorry, if I were you I'd give up. You have been tryng to patch up things and improve yr situation for a year, but it has not worked and everything is going downhill. One year is long enough, if nothing has changed for the better in a year, it's ... (read in full...)
I lied to him about my breasts, but if I tell him the truth I'm scared he'll think I'm deformed!
Q. Hi all, I recently ran into a problem with my boyfriend. When we first started having sex I would always wear my shirt, and he always wondered why. Well, one night we started drinking pretty heavily, and my inhibitions flew out the window, and he ...
A. 4 April 2010: Deformed ? That's the first time I hear someone defining inverted nipples a deformity.
darling,I don't think there is any problem here. The guy saw you, noticed your nipplesw look different, was not bothered , said no big deal- end of the stor... (read in full...)
He said he loved me, but broke up with me out of nowhere!
Q. hey everyone, where to start... Been with my bf for nearlly a year and only 3 weeks ago he was telling me how he loved me, i made him happy and that he saw us going somewhere...that week he continued telling me he loved me as usual and then that ...
A. 4 April 2010: No, don't contact him. If you do ,you'll probably won't get any closure. He'll just tell you again that he is not sure yet, that he need to think it over, need some space, some distance,blah blah blah.
Deep down you feel it's over,right ? Then ,act... (read in full...)
It started out as sex, but I'm starting to develop feelings for him. Help!
Q. I am a 23 yr old female and am sleeping with a 42 year old man. I have known him for a while, he has a 6 yr old son and a partner although they do not live together. It started out as sex but I think im beginning to get feelings for him, and ...
A. 4 April 2010: I would not risk. I'd finish this relationship.
If you want sex, it should not be hard to find another sexual partner. And if you want love and affection- you should look for someone who is availablr, unattached and free to reciprocate yr. feel... (read in full...)
Do you guys appreciate manicured nails on a girl?
Q. Inspired by a chat on another topic, ... I am wondering guys, do you appreciate seeing a well manicured hand/nails when a girl has hold of your goodies, .. or does it go completely un noticed? I kinda thought it adds to an overall effect a...
A. 4 April 2010: being a female myself, I am not too sure either... but all in all I'd say most males are not so detail oriented :)
Like all that expensive classy seductive lingerie most women love to wear for their partners... I have got the feeling that the aver... (read in full...)
What can I do to stop everyone being hurt in this situation?
Q. I really need advices for my current situation. I am 28 this year. I have been with my hursband(P)for 6 years and married for 2(excluded). He was my first bf. we are chinese and went to Australia study together. 6 months after got married, I had...
A. 4 April 2010: You can't stay with a man just out of gratitude for being a nice guy and a good provider. You are not physically attracted to him at all, you don't like to touch him. What would you do if you'd get back with him ? Would you be intimate with him even ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to her?
Q. Hello everyone! I've been having very bad times in the past 5 weeks, mostly because of the breakup with my ex. Well, I've got now the feeling that I want to approach other people, oder girls and have fun in life again :) The problem is that ...
A. 4 April 2010: Truth is always the best policy. E-mail her and tell her just what you said in your posting. That you find her interesting, that you enjoyed your conversations, that you are curious about her and you'd really like to get to know her better. Not ... (read in full...)
I can't move on.
Q. *OP's own title* my ex dumped me 5 months ago and i still love him as much as i did then.hes had 2 new girlfriends in the period of time we've been apart.he said we would be together forever and he would love me til we died.but he told my best frie...
A. 4 April 2010: Be patient with yourself . Give yourself time to elaborate your loss. Do you know that, statistically, the time for mourning a major loss (like a death of someone close )is at least two years ? And the loss of a real love is a bit like a death.
I... (read in full...)
I'm interested in fooling around but don't know if I want anything serious!
Q. Hi there. So, today I met a guy and he seemed very interested in me. I was sort of interested, but not as interested as he seemed. We ended up exchanging phone numbers, and he told me to message or call him just to say hi. Usually I don't have...
A. 4 April 2010: You must run the risk. You absolutely must be clear with him and tell him that you are interested in him but for the moment only casually,no strings attached.
Otherwise how can we ladies keep whining about dishonest men who are never clear abou... (read in full...)
What do I do about my parents blocking my love?
Q. *OP's own title* My parents won't let me go out with a boy i am in love with (even though I'm 13).They gave me no explaination 4 it. He's a gentleman, takes care of his family, respects all women, and isn't much older than me. What to do?...
A. 4 April 2010: I guess your parents just think that at 13 you are too young to date, period. Gentleman or not gentleman.
I think they would not mind , or at least they would turn a blind eye, if you were hanging out with a bunch of friends and among them you had ... (read in full...)
How do I let him see how I really like him back?
Q. Hello! Well,I am 19 and have known this guy since we have been in 9th grade but but became really good friends in 12th grade. We go to different colleges but live at home still which means we are not far away from each other. Eve...
A. 4 April 2010: Yes,I'd say you are playing it pretty safe here- it sounds like this guy likes you for sure.
Why has not he asked you out yat ? Because he's a 19 y.o. male :) most of them may look all cool and grown up - but they haven't developed yet the conf... (read in full...)
Have I lost him forever?
Q. me and my boyfriend are in a relationship since 1 and half years. things got worse.we fought over some issues. and now he says, he wants space. i begged n cried but no use.he is really upset and wanted to break-up instead but since he doesn't want ...
A. 4 April 2010: Sometime you've got to be cruel to be kind and I am afraid that yr bf did not have the courage to do just that.He wanted to break up ,but unwilling to deal with your hurt - and with a lot of begging,cryng and drama- he has ,instead, put you on hold ... (read in full...)
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