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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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Oral sex question for the ladies... workin' on technique!
Q. So, I have a short goatee... not 5 o clock shadow just a tad bit longer that can create a nice maybe sandpaper feel lol.... do ladies like this if im goin' down on one? Like if I rub my trimmed beard against their clitorus? I'm workin on technique ...
A. 9 October 2010: @mrvhappy : Oh no I don't think so :).
I just happen to have a very sensitive , err (blush ) , -skin.... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my family realize I'm growing up and not a child?
Q. My parents are asking too much of me, they took away my internet upstairs after many long years of having my own laptop in my own room, they take away my ATM card (I earn enough money to buy stuff they normally wouldn't.) They take away everything I ...
A. 8 October 2010: I don't know if this is your case , but- just a guess :
maybe your parents fear that Internet is taking over your life.
Some kids really get attached to their On -line activities , and end up spending 3, 6, 9 hours a day on line. From a parent's... (read in full...)
He cheated on his ex but says he wouldn't cheat on me because "he loves me"
Q. My boyfriend cheated on his ex girlfriend twice and he has openly told me. He went on holiday and had sex with a girl while sober. He then lied to his ex girlfriend about it and made up a story about someone kissing him and him not knowing how to ...
A. 8 October 2010: Yes he could.
Maybe he "loved " the other girl too, when they were together, no ?
And even if he did not love her, - he had led her to believe that they were exclusive and monogamous, while it wasn't so.
One who does not accept or aknowledge m... (read in full...)
Oral sex question for the ladies... workin' on technique!
Q. So, I have a short goatee... not 5 o clock shadow just a tad bit longer that can create a nice maybe sandpaper feel lol.... do ladies like this if im goin' down on one? Like if I rub my trimmed beard against their clitorus? I'm workin on technique ...
A. 8 October 2010: Aaaargh ! Personally, I'd rather let you stomp on my bare feet while you are wearing Cuban boots with 2-inch heeels.
It would be more pleasant than what you want to do.... (read in full...)
Online guy dropped out of sight, and a month later comes back begging for another chance?
Q. Hi, thanks for taking time to reading my question and looking forward to your answers. I posted a few weeks ago about a guy who I met online. I felt we had a good thing going but he dissapeared on me after two weeks of chatting. Just went quiet ...
A. 8 October 2010: I don't think your minds think alike.
You think that putting on a vanishing act for 30 days then resurfacing at his convenience as if nothing happened is rude , inconsiderate and selfish .(Btw I think it too )
He ( probably ) thinks it's no big d... (read in full...)
First time my boyfriend has ever been violent, should I give him a chance if he goes to anger management?
Q. Two days ago, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about his behavior dealing with other girls, not the first time out of 4 years we'd talked about this. I had prepared myself to finally let him go (or at least I thought I had). I did it all in a very ...
A. 8 October 2010: You are kidding right ?
He attempts to murder you and you wonder if you should give him another chance ?
A chance for what, for finishing the job properly and murdering you for real next time ?
... (read in full...)
I'm ready to give up all together!
Q. How can I get over sex and men? I hate my body it's so disgusting. I'm a bit fat but working on it, although I'm not overweight, but almost. The problem is I have a disproportioned body, I have big hips, big butt with cellulite and thighs with ...
A. 7 October 2010: You've posted a few times about this issue, so it must be something really bothering you a lot.
Unluckily,change starts from within rather than from your thighs, and dysfunctional emotions come from dysfunctional thoughts, so personally I feel... (read in full...)
I am confused about what beauty is!
Q. i was feeling blue so i googled that i don't like myself and i saw someone talking about being depressed so when i saw this website i felt like this could be my escape to express myself; so i decided to sign up so here i am. i have be feeling ...
A. 7 October 2010: I used to be like you, until about my early 30's. Well, it was not that bad, because - if I can say so myself- I was born sort of cute, let's say a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10. But that's the thing- I did not want to be cute ,or pretty- I wanted to be ... (read in full...)
Should I feel insecure if I'm dating a woman who can beat me up?
Q. I'm not much of a fighter, and I have a question. Should I feel insecure if I happen to meet a gorgeous woman who could beat me in a fight? Is this a strange question, or is it a legitimate concern? Let's say she's a karate expert or somethi...
A. 7 October 2010: That's a very strange question indeed.
Why would you ever get into a physical fight with a woman, on a date too ???
Is that a habit of yours ? Beating up women,...or dating women known for beating up their partners ?... Change habits. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to live in an abusive environment but I'm confused.
Q. I have been in limbo for nearly a year, the stress is presenting viscerally now and my indecision is hurting all the people I care about and I really need help deciding what to do. I have been married for a year and a half, together three y...
A. 7 October 2010: Two questions for you :
- your husband SAYS he's gonna do this and that . How do you know he's gonna do it , is he reliable and sincere ? Yes ? Like when ? Like when he denied being into cybersex then you found 3 different cybersex accounts ?
-... (read in full...)
My divorce is almost final and the love of my life asks me to never contact her again... HELP!
Q. I am in the middle of Divorcing my wife. The reasons why are long - but in summary she has abused me for 20 years, including physically and now broken the law and destroyed our lives. Her case has been pending for over a year. After I filed ...
A. 7 October 2010: She did not turn off "so quick " ! You admit you have dragged this divorce on for a long long time, and I am sure she must have given you before signs of impatience and loosing faith , that you have conveniently dismissed.
From her point of view... (read in full...)
How to get the best out of a BF with a small tool?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 8 months and recently started having sex, sadly he has a small penis, and its hard to get pleasure from him, and im tired of faking it.. Any suggestions on how that little thing can create some pleasure? Im ...
A. 7 October 2010: I think yours is more a psychological problem than a factual one , like you miss the visual impact of a large penis. But in practice, only the first anterior third (from the orifice toward the bottom of your vagina) is equipped with nerve ... (read in full...)
I gave up everything to be with him, but then I found out he isn't divorced... yet!
Q. Moved from another state to be with my long lost love after 13 yrs of no contact. Gave up my good job house to come back home and marry him (we're both divorced) and start a new life. Found out I'm pregnant and also that he is not divorced. When I ...
A. 7 October 2010: This guy has let you leave your job house and state , and get pregnant too, all things that you did on the assumption he was free and divorced- otherwise, I suppose, you would not have thought of doing all that.
Talk about a big fat liar. If it w... (read in full...)
In a casual relationship where I miss him. Is this over now?
Q. Hi all During the last six months i have been in a casual relationship. He used to contact me all the time and show clear interest in seeing me. Ten days ago i sent him a text saying i missed him and wishing him to have fun (he has been on holi...
A. 7 October 2010: He was in vacation, and just came back yesterday ! Chill.
From his point of view, everything is fine, and the communication level normal for a casual relation.
From your point of view...uhm. It sounds you want more than casual, and you do not h... (read in full...)
I don't want to live in an abusive environment but I'm confused.
Q. I have been in limbo for nearly a year, the stress is presenting viscerally now and my indecision is hurting all the people I care about and I really need help deciding what to do. I have been married for a year and a half, together three y...
A. 7 October 2010: And what about yourself ? Do you care about yourself ?
Not much .I'd say. In fact, not even a tiny little bit.
Otherwise you would not be "confused ". What is there to be confused about ? It's the simplest thing ever - you draw the line at physi... (read in full...)
Is he lying or telling me the truth?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over half a year. I was the first to say I love you, but he took a little more time to say it back to me. Like 2 months more time after I said it. His past history with relationships really isn't ...
A. 6 October 2010: That is an outrageously far fetched concoction that screams "Bullshit ! Bullshit ! " to high heavens. And you know it very well, deep down. You just don't want to know that you know it.... (read in full...)
Some days he's interested, some days he's not!
Q. heres a long story short iv met this boy and he seem intrested some days but then does bother for weeks am i wasting my time or try and make him intrested ??...
A. 6 October 2010: Interested some days then does not bother for WEEKS ?...
Definitely wasting your time.... (read in full...)
I've made myself appear clingy to my ex, and now I feel really stupid
Q. Sorry that this is quite long, but I'd really appreciate you reading to the end and giving advice, thank you in advance :) Let me just give some background: My boyfriend broke up with me in May earlier this year, after 6months of being together. He ...
A. 6 October 2010: Sure honey, who has not been in a situation like yours, or on the receiving end of it, it happens to everybody at some point. Don't feel bad - live and learn :).
You have to give yourself your own closure, because it's clear by now you won't get ... (read in full...)
B/f broke up with me because I was clingy and immature. I want him back!
Q. Is there hope for me and my ex to reunite after a month apart: we have a lot in common and he broke up because I got clingy and immature....but I like him still. I mean he asked me for family advice when he could have asked his best friend.... ...
A. 6 October 2010: Not right now. I mean, if after just one month apart you run back to him begging him to take you back, you are proving him right- you are showing that you are clingy and that you can't function without him.
Work on being ( reasonably ) happy with... (read in full...)
I secretly believe he will leave his wife for me! Am I mistaken?
Q. i've been having an affair with a man for the past six months. we really are in love. when we first got together we never thought that we would have feelings for each other the way that we do he is in a loveless relationship for convenience. him and ...
A. 6 October 2010: Yes,you are being foolishly optimistic. I hope you may be the lucky exception, but, from what you say , he has so far just recited the catalogue of the usual trite old banalities which every man who does NOT mean leaving his wife is telling the ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex how much she has hurt me?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me about less then a month ago. And only after a week breaking up with me had another boyfriend in her life. I'm just so completely hurt from all this that words can't even describe my pain. It's like our relationship ...
A. 6 October 2010: No, don't do it.
Once unluckily I had the same idea. After a very painful and unexpected break up, I sent a letter pouring my heart out about how hurt and upset I was etc. etc. The answer was : So ? Am I supposed to care ?..I've got so many prob... (read in full...)
My crush asks for other money and other girls numbers from me?
Q. Okay so recently this boy in my spanish class started talking to me and let me know that he was interested. You see he's two years older than me and has a bit of a bad boy reputation so at first I turned him down, but we ended up kissing and I ...
A. 6 October 2010: Honey, I know that you are young and you don't have a lot of life experience,but it's never too early to use your God-given brain. Two plus two always makes four, even at your age.
If he only calls you when he wants money, favours and other girl... (read in full...)
Husband lying about his whereabouts! Cheating?
Q. I just want to know if I should be worried my husband is cheating? He does not show me affection anymore and has been lying about his whereabouts. He seems to be caring an awful lot lately about his appearance but has not been for my benefit. When ...
A. 6 October 2010: Right now. You have just mentioned 3 big red flags that usually mean something is going on behind your back. I say
usually because of course this is not mathematics and there could be other reason to explain your husband's changed behaviour. But ... (read in full...)
Do you always have a thing for your first love...?
Q. Hi DC, Just a general post from something that I saw on TV the other nite about a couple who reunited after 40yrs apart (leaving thier respective partners/families) Do you always have a thing for your 1st love? Is the expression "1st Love neve...
A. 5 October 2010: Heck no ! My first love is still handsome, as he was then, and he has also become very rich ( he was not ). Other than that, he is the summary of any personality trait that I find insufferable. I always wonder : WTF was I thinking way back then ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to date someone younger?
Q. hi i just wanna know is it wrong to date a guy younger then me cause he is turning 21 in 3 weeks time and im 28 but we love each other very much.......
A. 5 October 2010: It's not wrong and couples where the woman is older than the man are becoming more common and more socially accepted by the day.
It all depends from what your plans are, though, in which direction you want your relationship to go. At 28 many wome... (read in full...)
I want to show my girlfriend that I love her but she's not easily impressed!
Q. Me: I'm 19 years old, I'm in college, I live 1 hour and 50 mins. away from my girlfriend. (I have a car) We've been together for 1 year, 2 months and 14 days. We love each other to death, and I trust her more than I would even trust my mom. (I...
A. 5 October 2010: I would not worry much about that.
While it is surely nice to share some passions and interests, compatibility is more about emotions than about liking the same movies or music or sports etc. ... (read in full...)
Do women tell their friends EVERYTHING about their boyfriends???
Q. Ok, to all women, do you talk to your best friends and tell them everything about your bf. i mean everything, like dirty details?...
A. 5 October 2010: No, I never did and never will, and I don't even know many women who "kiss and tell ". Well, maybe when they are very young , like in high school. But with time and maturity you become naturally more protective about your private stuff.... (read in full...)
Don't you love it when you realise the person you're meant to be with is your ex?
Q. Don't you love it when you realise the person you're meant to be with is your ex? Furthermore, don't you love it when you go out to talk to your ex who is in a bad relationship and you end up kissing with her for hours? Neither do I, its pretty ...
A. 5 October 2010: You are not a bad person but you need to stop thinking with your heart (and hormones ) for a second , and think with your head, and muse about a few simple questions, like :
if you were so meant to be, and so perfect for each other... how come... (read in full...)
At my limit with my parents.
Q. This is going to be VERY long- please bear with me here: I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm being torn apart. I had a very hard family life growing up, where my dad began working all the time and my mom became lonely and depressed due to just...
A. 5 October 2010: I am gonna try a desperate attempt- not to justify your parents's behaviour, but to sort to show you where they might be coming from . So that rather than polarizing the issue - "us against them " - you can feel compassion for your parents' mistakes ... (read in full...)
I want to show my girlfriend that I love her but she's not easily impressed!
Q. Me: I'm 19 years old, I'm in college, I live 1 hour and 50 mins. away from my girlfriend. (I have a car) We've been together for 1 year, 2 months and 14 days. We love each other to death, and I trust her more than I would even trust my mom. (I...
A. 4 October 2010: It's very difficult to give you an advice without knowing what your gf is into. Every girl is different, - if anybody would give me a couple of birds , I would be very disappointed, since I hate birds with a vengeance, LOL.
I don't think ther... (read in full...)
If he is not interested in me then why is he acting this way?
Q. So I have been talking to this guy on and off for over two years now. We met on an online dating site but never met in person. In the beginning he seemed really interested in a relationship and he talked to me all the time.He would always tell me ...
A. 4 October 2010: The option. In fact , the Option with a capital letter.
A few years ago I shared for a few months an apartment with a younger guy who was an incredible player . We became good friends ( platonic only ! ) and I used to watch fascinated his sini... (read in full...)
Will it grow anymore?
Q. I am a 15 year old male with a 6 1/2 inch penis with a girth of almost 6 inches. Will my penis grow anymore? P.S. I would apreciate it if answerers dont give me the "your to young to be thinking about sex" answer. Im just curious and I want matur...
A. 4 October 2010: I don't know if it will grow more, but I can tell you that your size is already above average, so in case your concern is "is my penis big enough " the answer is yes.... (read in full...)
Why does a guy message a girl at I am in the morning...what does this mean?
Q. This is probably going to sound like an odd question but here goes: If a guy sent you a message at 1 in the morning asking you to call them what do you think that means? The message went something like "hey, my number is ***** call me xxx" This was ...
A. 3 October 2010: Drunk and horny.... (read in full...)
My friend wants to move away to be with his girlfriend
Q. Well my problem is that my best friend wants to move 1200 miles away to Texas to be with his ldr girlfriend. I don't agree with it at all but haven't said anything because he seems so happy. Personally I feel there that no boyfriend or girlfriend is ...
A. 3 October 2010: "There's more to life than that one person ":
Correct.
And the same applies to you.ONE of your loved ones is moving. The others stay.
That should help you contain your feelings of loss within manageable levels.
... (read in full...)
Does he need a good bye letter?
Q. I thought I met the love of my life when I went on vacation in the summer of 08. I was going through so much at the time and I took a trip to clear my head, and there he was, the same person I loved as a little girl growing up. We spoke for hours, ...
A. 3 October 2010: çMoonknight : and what if he reads the letter,..and he turns up at her door anyway ?
Of course, if she feel that writing him a letter will bring her closure and peace of mind, - why not.
But personally I feel that the very act of leaving ... (read in full...)
Is there hope for the two of us, he said he was finished, but is back for sex??
Q. My ex boyfriend and I broke up a week ago, due to my bad habits i guess or so he says. He said he was tired of the little petty stuff i did and that they added all up and he cant deal with it anymore. I love this man with all my heart i wrote him a ...
A. 3 October 2010: I would not be too optimistic. And if this is your best friend, I can't imagine what are your enemies like !
Reality check. He breaks up with you, for whatever reason,legitimate or not. Fine. Then he comes back to you- for sex only. That mean... (read in full...)
My friend wants to move away to be with his girlfriend
Q. Well my problem is that my best friend wants to move 1200 miles away to Texas to be with his ldr girlfriend. I don't agree with it at all but haven't said anything because he seems so happy. Personally I feel there that no boyfriend or girlfriend is ...
A. 3 October 2010: Strange way of thinking. So, any time one is moving to pursue the chance of a better life, of more happiness- is showing the finger to family and friends ? In your opinion,
family and friends 's satisfaction is always more important than one's own ... (read in full...)
Every time we kiss he gets a stiffy... normal?
Q. Whenever we kiss...he gets a stiffy...I understand he's excited but every time? Is this normal?...
A. 2 October 2010: Unless we are talking about just a peck on the cheek, yes, it is very normal.... (read in full...)
Why are women attracted to guys with fancy cars?
Q. Why are women more attracted to men with fancy cars than men with raggedy cars? Does it really matter and why?...
A. 2 October 2010: Wide generalization. It can't be like that for every girl. I am sure there are plenty of exceptions .
I am one, for instance. ( Well, I am not a girl anymore, but even when I was ).I have always been suspicious of men with fancy cars . If they... (read in full...)
Will I be alone for ever?
Q. I am 22 in 2 months i will be 23. I am divorced (i got married at 16) and a single mom of 3. I have been alone so long and i cant even get a guy to look at me. I have done all of the stuff people have told me. (be yourself go out stop looking...) ...
A. 2 October 2010: There is nothing wrong with you as a person, but you find yourself in a situation that, unluckily,puts you at a disadvantage in the dating market. You've got 3 young kids- you come with "baggage". I am sure that as a mom you don't see it this ... (read in full...)
Can anybody else see the problem here
Q. a family friend has been with her man for 3years and all of a sudden he changes his number and she can only have his work number. he says if she has his mobile number she will keep calling him. and the biggest problem is they live in the same ...
A. 2 October 2010: I am not sure if I got this right, but if this two people
live together- no, I don't see any problem.(Otherwise I would )
She has his work number, and after work she sees him at home. Probably she has been busting his b...s by calling him any ... (read in full...)
FWB moved on to a relationship, but came back and cheated with me
Q. Ok, i'm going to try and make this as short as posible. A had a FWB/buddy, this ended and he now is with somebody. This is the bad part, we had sex a couple on months ago, so basicaly he cheated. Since then i've tried distancing myself from him, he ...
A. 2 October 2010: What do you mean " he stood you up " ?
You told him you are not going to have sex with him until he is with the other girl. So now he knows he can't get sex from you therefore he has lost any interest in you. Pretty normal.Hardly surprising.
Oh I ... (read in full...)
Does he need a good bye letter?
Q. I thought I met the love of my life when I went on vacation in the summer of 08. I was going through so much at the time and I took a trip to clear my head, and there he was, the same person I loved as a little girl growing up. We spoke for hours, ...
A. 1 October 2010: Your post made me cringe . He hit you when you were pregnant !!! ( the first time ). Then, he hit you again, and again, and again ( beside all the rest )- and now you want to leave him a nice letter explaining all the hows and the ways. Oh Gosh.
S... (read in full...)
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