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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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Do I break up with him until he sorts out their living arrangement or should I stand by him as he's going through a tough time?
Q. My boyfriend has 2 young (2yrs old) twins with his ex gf. She still lives in his house, in a separate bedroom ofcourse, because she cant afford to live on her own and was unemployed for a while and he supported her in regards to buying her a car, ...
A. 14 October 2010: If he can afford to get her her own place - why doesn't he just do that ?... (read in full...)
I'm angry my ex could treat me like a ghost after everything we've been through together?
Q. Just broke up with my Ex. Its been a week and a few days. We were on a break, but she made it permanent and now she's "dating" this guy she met at a bar 2 wks ago who lives in Australia. After we decided to take a break so she could work on he...
A. 14 October 2010: Like the other Aunts have said, this woman has a lot of serious issues so you can't expect from her the same actions and reactions of a mentally balanced,emotionally stable person.
I want to add something, though, and not to blame you for anyt... (read in full...)
How can a real girl ever be enough for a man?
Q. How can a real girl ever be enough for a man? I mean, I have talked with many guys my age, and they have all agreed when I asked them whether a porn star has a hotter or better body than a normal girl, they have all said yes! The typical porn star ...
A. 14 October 2010: I forgot something.
I don't think that getting breast implants is the solution for you; chances are that if you meet a consciencious,responsible plastic surgeon, he will not agree on operating you.
Unluckily it sounds like you have a lot of i... (read in full...)
How can a real girl ever be enough for a man?
Q. How can a real girl ever be enough for a man? I mean, I have talked with many guys my age, and they have all agreed when I asked them whether a porn star has a hotter or better body than a normal girl, they have all said yes! The typical porn star ...
A. 14 October 2010: Society makes YOU feel that that is best kind of beauty.
Not "us ". I don't feel that. My partners did not feel that. A lot of people does not feel that.
Honey, it's sad you got so traumatized by ONE bad experience you had with ONE guy whichy ,... (read in full...)
How do I get my parents to back off?
Q. I need some serious help on how to get my parents off my back about my boyfriend. I am 18 almost 19, he is 24. We have been seeing each other since january. We met online (when i met him in person i had my mom come with me in case he was a creeper, ...
A. 14 October 2010: I apologize if I am wrong but I can't help feeling this is not the whole story. Mean ,unreasonable parents who want their daughter unhappy just for no reason at all belong more to soap operas than to real life. Maybe the real problem is not the ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be a guy who doesn't like porn
Q. Ok here is the situation, I am visually turned on by females, and always have been. Thats important because the next part of what im about to say hinges off that fact. Porn as a whole has never done anything for me. I have always been more ...
A. 14 October 2010: I am glad you posted ,because it sort of answers a doubt of mine.
I had 3 important,very LT relationships. Two of the men were totally uninterested in porn and the third only marginally , really
once-in-a-blue-moon watched amateur porn.
O... (read in full...)
He said that if we break up, it will be because of me.
Q. My boyfriend of more than one year told me that he loves me and that he'll never break up with me. He said that if we break up, it will be because of me. My brain went blank for a few moments when he told me this, so I don't want to re-open this ...
A. 14 October 2010: I guess he just meant it's more possible that you get tired of him than viceversa.... (read in full...)
He wants to live with me, put a front on that we're together in front of family, friends ets, still do business together but be 'separated.
Q. I have been with my fiance for almost 7 years. He cheated a few yrs ago when we were on again/off again and we both moved on together...or so I thought. In the meantime I started my own business, my mother became terminally ill and my fiance and I ...
A. 14 October 2010: He says he says....As if you can trust a repeated cheater. Who is prepared to "put a front " 24/7 for family and friends. Very sincere indeed...
It would be funny it if it weren't so sad.... (read in full...)
DO I really want to have sex because I threatened to leave?
Q. I have been with my partner for three years. The relationship is pretty great but one thing makes it stressful. Sex. He has never really shown an interest in having sex with me. I have NEVER had sex and would very much like to (been waiting for the ...
A. 13 October 2010: I think I rembember you posted already in the past about this situation, giving many more details which showed how the relationship was not so great after all and had other issues besides sex. In case though that I am wrong or that you do not want ... (read in full...)
Why do I find teenage girls attractive?
Q. Hey, I'm a 22 year old guy and would just like to know why I still find teenagers attractive, nothing under legal age of course, just barely legal really turns me on. My last few girlfriends have all been 16, it's not that I don't find girls my own ...
A. 13 October 2010: While is true that men are genetically programmed to be attracted to women in their fertile years- it's a common misconception that the age of max. fertility is 16.
The age of max. fertility is 20 to 25.
Nowadays, girls are hitting puberty ... (read in full...)
He's 40, I'm going to be 18..could it work?
Q. I'm about to be eighteen in November and I'm attracted to a man who's forty. I have to admit, I lied about my age. I said I was nineteen and he bought it because I look the part and use a rich vocabulary. Today, I took the liberty to tell ...
A. 13 October 2010: The problem is not what society will think ( who cares ) ,or what your mother will think ( she'll come around ), the problem is ,like you wonder, if it can work between you and him.
I think, not in the long run. 22 years is a heck of a big diff... (read in full...)
Why do you answer to these questions?
Q. I just want to know something, why do you guys answer to these people? what do you plan to get out of it? do you think "God" will reimburse you for your efforts and "love"? do you feel better by helping others you don't know? I really don't see any ...
A. 13 October 2010: I do it because I like it. Yes, helping peole DOES feel good. Perhaps in a slightly narcissistic , self complacent way if you wish. And why not. We all are only human , and flawed.
I am a normal woman - I am not rich or powerful or important , I do... (read in full...)
He wants to live with me, put a front on that we're together in front of family, friends ets, still do business together but be 'separated.
Q. I have been with my fiance for almost 7 years. He cheated a few yrs ago when we were on again/off again and we both moved on together...or so I thought. In the meantime I started my own business, my mother became terminally ill and my fiance and I ...
A. 13 October 2010: You would be taking on a 24/7 acting job. Stressing,nerve wrecking and ,ultimately, humiliating. Why would you want to do that ???... (read in full...)
Why does she have to have the same name as my ex?!?
Q. Dear agony aunts and uncles, I am currently friends with a girl who has the same name as my ex. Me and this girl have been spending so much time together in the summer and getting closer. We are not exclusively goin out but we have kissed once...
A. 12 October 2010: Definitely over-paranoid.
If both girl's name were,say, Mary-Euphrasia, well, yes, that would be disquieting.
But if she is a Jane or Elizabeth or any not too unusual name, what's so strange about it. It may happen.
What do you care about w... (read in full...)
I'm ready for a baby but he's not! What should we do?
Q. Hi i need your help , me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time now and for a couple of months wev been talking about having a kid, my Heart has been set on having a child for years now and im soo certain that im ready for the ...
A. 12 October 2010: So, to show your father that you are in fact responsible, you would do something totally irresponsible like making a baby, at age 16, unemployed, when you haven't finished your education and not acquired marketable skills yet- and the baby's dad ... (read in full...)
Should I still be friends with people who do drugs?
Q. Hi everyone, well I have a guy friend who smokes, and my other 2 friends either drink or have done drugs or smoke pot. I have never done any drugs, but do you think that it is bad that I hang around with them? I have not done anything, but my ...
A. 12 October 2010: I don't drink and don't do drugs, and some of my friends do . BUT : I am waaaaay older than you and by now totally immune to peer pressure or the wish to emulate somebody .Which are big risks at your age. Moreover, you may get a bad reputation- not ... (read in full...)
Can there ever be too much sex?
Q. Can there be to much sex in a relationship? I know its bad if you barely do it so i was wondering if it could be bad if you do it alot. Thanks ...
A. 12 October 2010: No,it's not bad if you do it a lot. It's good.
It's bad if that is the ONLY thing you do together .... (read in full...)
My friend is such an attention seeker now she has lost weight, help what can I do??
Q. Would be very appreciative of some advice regarding my ""attention seeking"? friend, please dont be nasty! need genuine advice please. I usually see a particular friend (we are adults) once a week or so, when she is in the city where i live (a...
A. 11 October 2010: Your friend sounds slender but not unhealthily skinny, at least not yet. Since she is a dancer / dance instructor, let's give her the benefit of doubt and assume she knows how important is ( for everybody but for her in particular ) to take care ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend ejaculates but doesn't orgasm. Any suggestions?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having sex for the past 6 months and we are having problems in the bedroom. He has never had an orgasm, he still ejaculates but he doesn't orgasm. I didn't even know that they were two different things until I met him. ...
A. 11 October 2010: No guys, unluckily there is something called anorgasmic ejaculation. It's a rather rare sexual disfuction, but it exists. Sperm is emitted without being associated with the typical muscle contractions and the pleasure sensation of orgasm.
H... (read in full...)
Do men regret leaving their pregnant partners?
Q. i dated my ex for 2 years, when i found out i was pregnant and told him on valentines day, he dumped me. he treated me like crap my whole pregnancy, he never called or emailed me and whenever i contacted him (i sent ultrasounds and updates, i was ...
A. 11 October 2010: I have no idea about all men in general, but this particular guy does not seem the type thas can have regrets, for having regrets you need to have a conscience and he does not seem to be equipped with one !
Forget about apologies and regr... (read in full...)
Feelings for my boyfriend run hot and cold! What do I do?
Q. I've reposted because I had no answers and I really need to know what to do before I see my bf again tonight, please help!! Ok I'm at my wits end about what to do with my bf. We've been together for 4 years and lately I've been feeling hot and ...
A. 11 October 2010: As you have seen, often love is not enough. People has to be willing to work on their issues together and find a compromise , a mutually acceptable solution.
Which, apparently, neither of you is willing to do, so the relation becomes a frus... (read in full...)
Just the ordinary girl with the question... do you think this is love?
Q. im stuck here and i need help even thought i think ive got the answer on my own! i just want to know what others think. i postded an article like this only a few hours ago as i have only registered for a day or two, then i noticed i had stated ...
A. 11 October 2010: No, I think this sounds like regular teenager infatuation. He's just the cutest guy you have been able to catch so far, and if all of a sudden he should lose his hair or his tan, your love would sensibly fade.
Said that , I agree with the othe... (read in full...)
What happened here with my boyfriend, do you understand it??
Q. so im a little confused with my boyfriend or ex or whatever he is. We broke up not to long ago cuz i made a mistake. But everyone makes mistakes and i think it can always get sorted. So anyway we live together and been dating for 5 years. We kinda ...
A. 11 October 2010: He might simply have tried his best for 2 weeks to "swallow " your mistake, and seen that he just can't.... (read in full...)
What do you do when your partner wants sex during your cycle??
Q. What do you do if your partner really wants sex and you promised it to thtem but then you get on your cycle around that time....
A. 11 October 2010: What do you do when your partner really wants sex....
And what about you? What do YOU really want ?
If you are Ok with the idea, then just go ahead , lots of women have sex during their periods. But if for any reasons you feel self consciou... (read in full...)
I am caught between 4 guys, and don't know what to do
Q. I sent a question recently, but it's been lying around and no answers yet. That's good, my situation has changed since then. I am caught between 4 guys, and don't know what to do... what would all of you do in my situation? I don't know how I get ...
A. 11 October 2010: It's reasonable. You should be worried, and cautious too. FWB is not your type of thing, you said- and you are a virgin and, rightly, do not want to throw your first time away with just anybody walking by. Plus, why should you settle for FWB if you ... (read in full...)
I want more action from my FWB
Q. how in the world do you make a fwb want more sex? its frustrating because we do it every few months. thats not fun. any pointers?...
A. 10 October 2010: ...Every few MONTHS ??? Sorry my dear, you are clearly FWB no. 2 . Or 3.
In fact, to be honest, I am not sure if you could even claim the status of FWB. It sounds something less than that, and unluckily it does not give you much leverage to get ... (read in full...)
I am caught between 4 guys, and don't know what to do
Q. I sent a question recently, but it's been lying around and no answers yet. That's good, my situation has changed since then. I am caught between 4 guys, and don't know what to do... what would all of you do in my situation? I don't know how I get ...
A. 10 October 2010: Let me ask you : Is it really mandatory that you date somebody in this moment ? and it has necessarily to be one of these four ? Also if you don't sound very excited or convinced about any of them, and on turn they don't sound terribly into you ?
W... (read in full...)
Why do men disappear giving you no closure and think it's OK?
Q. Why do men disappear or dump you and give you no closure and think its ok? This is what my ex did....
A. 10 October 2010: They do not think it is OK. They are aware it is not OK. They just do not care whether it is Ok or not, whether it hurts your feelings or not. Which makes a lot of sense, because if they had cared about you and your feelings... they would not have ... (read in full...)
I feel he is just taking me for granted!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for about 5 years now. We kinda live together. I stay at his house every night. Most of my clothes is at my parents house. Some stuff is at his house and I would like for me to have all of my belongings at my bf. I have ...
A. 10 October 2010: I agree with Jmtmj. I reproach many things to men :) but one we honestly can't reproach them is their not being able to read minds.
Why don't you just tell him : Hey, it's already one year that I am sleeping at your place every night and I alwa... (read in full...)
Big questions about living in New York?
Q. Hey i am finishing college soon and i hope some people from Newyork would read this. i dont want to work in my country i would love to spend the sacend half or whats left of my life outside and i want to expraince being in a man with in millions...
A. 10 October 2010: I have lived 10 years in New York and they have been the happiest years in my life. It's not for everybody though.You either love New York or you hate it. I loved it so much. I am very happy about where I live now - probably the most beautiful town ... (read in full...)
LDR I don't understand why he can't make more of an effort!
Q. Hi am 22 f. I'm in a distance relationship fro 9 months. And I love my guy. We were best frens for 6 months prior to that.We haven't met all this while. For the first 3 months we were just great.Then he got busy and drastically cut down on ...
A. 9 October 2010: Please reread the last line of your post : I have been lonely all my life and it's just continuing.
You went into this relationship also,or mainly, to not be lonely anymore but you are still lonely. Ergo,it's not working.
You ask yourself if ... (read in full...)
Should I stay in Canada till after I have the baby and then move to the US?
Q. I recently found out I am pregnant after visiting my long distance boyfriend. After much discussion we agreed to keep the baby and have now reached the point where we need to decide our next step. While he would like me to leave Canada and join him ...
A. 9 October 2010: Any baby born on US soil is automatically an USA citizen, and there's people who would give one of their limbs for
USA citizenship.
I guess you 'll have to decide how much of a bonus this would be ( or not be ) in your personal case.... (read in full...)
Oral sex question for the ladies... workin' on technique!
Q. So, I have a short goatee... not 5 o clock shadow just a tad bit longer that can create a nice maybe sandpaper feel lol.... do ladies like this if im goin' down on one? Like if I rub my trimmed beard against their clitorus? I'm workin on technique ...
A. 9 October 2010: @mrvhappy : Oh no I don't think so :).
I just happen to have a very sensitive , err (blush ) , -skin.... (read in full...)
How do I wait it out without over reacting and chasing him away?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been on a break a week and a half now. He hasn't called or texted much and neither have I. He asked for this break because he feels guilty considering he is still married, but they've been separated over a year and she ...
A. 9 October 2010: There you go. What he says about his divorce may be true or not, anyway it appears he got stuck in a marital status that he does not know if and when he can change.
From this point of view, he's doing a honourable thing by withdrawing his ener... (read in full...)
Getting a boner just by kissing?
Q. heyy.. i was wondering, is it normal for a boy to get a boner just by kissing the girl? thanks...
A. 9 October 2010: Of course !... (read in full...)
I want to coordinated colours with my homecoming date!
Q. alright so im going to homecoming dance with this girl that im in love with and well, yeaaa i guess is not only her but me as well cuz im kinda juss whatever bout homecoming..but dont couples usually go matching? like i kinda wanna ask her bout her ...
A. 9 October 2010: Just ask her what colour she is gonna wear, why not ? After all, like you said you are gonna order her corsage and you want to make sure it matches with her dress, she should appreciate the thought.
As for head to toe colour coordination, I don'... (read in full...)
LDR I don't understand why he can't make more of an effort!
Q. Hi am 22 f. I'm in a distance relationship fro 9 months. And I love my guy. We were best frens for 6 months prior to that.We haven't met all this while. For the first 3 months we were just great.Then he got busy and drastically cut down on ...
A. 9 October 2010: You are tryng, and a bit too hard.
You wonder why can't he make more effort- simple : because he does not want to. He could, but that would mean cutting down on friends and entertainment and whatnot , which he is not willing to do , because this... (read in full...)
Why is my ex boyfriend rubbing his new girlfriend in my face after 3 weeks?
Q. Hi everyone, I will make this as short as I can, because I really need perspective and reassurement, and I appreciate your time. My ex and I broke up faily mutually 2 months ago. We were together for 2 and a half years, and we had a very passi...
A. 8 October 2010: If he is bipolar as you suspect ,this could be a manic episode.
Anyway, I would not see it as "rubbing it in your face ".
Your relationship had problems that led to a mutual, agreed upon break up. He is moving on, in the way that works best for... (read in full...)
How do I wait it out without over reacting and chasing him away?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been on a break a week and a half now. He hasn't called or texted much and neither have I. He asked for this break because he feels guilty considering he is still married, but they've been separated over a year and she ...
A. 8 October 2010: If he is still married he is not your boyfriend, he is HER husband.
Ah but they are separated and she cheated and she's got a new man ....
Are you sure about that ? Positive ? Do you have 100% factual knowledge about that ?. Check. With mar... (read in full...)
I feel like I was a rebound and she just used me
Q. So my girlfriend left me and in a few days she started dating a guy she used to date and it's been heartbreaking. I feel like she used me as a rebound or just plain used me. I knew for a fact that I wanted to marry her and I loved her with all my ...
A. 8 October 2010: If you feel she used you why do you want her back ? Do you want to be used again ?
You love her , I get you- but what about loving yourself a bit more - enough to not allow users into your life ?... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my family realize I'm growing up and not a child?
Q. My parents are asking too much of me, they took away my internet upstairs after many long years of having my own laptop in my own room, they take away my ATM card (I earn enough money to buy stuff they normally wouldn't.) They take away everything I ...
A. 8 October 2010: I don't know if this is your case , but- just a guess :
maybe your parents fear that Internet is taking over your life.
Some kids really get attached to their On -line activities , and end up spending 3, 6, 9 hours a day on line. From a parent's... (read in full...)
Oral sex question for the ladies... workin' on technique!
Q. So, I have a short goatee... not 5 o clock shadow just a tad bit longer that can create a nice maybe sandpaper feel lol.... do ladies like this if im goin' down on one? Like if I rub my trimmed beard against their clitorus? I'm workin on technique ...
A. 8 October 2010: Aaaargh ! Personally, I'd rather let you stomp on my bare feet while you are wearing Cuban boots with 2-inch heeels.
It would be more pleasant than what you want to do.... (read in full...)
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