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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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Should I create a bedroom for my 24 year old daughter or keep the study for myself in apartment?
Q. This might seem like a slightly odd question relating to family and home. My daughter is now 24 and has moved far away from home for 5 years now to be at Uni. She is very happy where she is living and it looks like she will stay there maybe for ...
A. 28 September 2011: Do get the study for yourself, yours it's a nice intention, but after all it's not the furniture that makes a HOME, she can feel welcomed and at home even if you have her sleep on the couch, and she can feel just only a guest in a newly redone ... (read in full...)
It's been a week now. I don't know how to proceed with her. Should I tell her '' No''? or say more?
Q. So I have this friend I have known for two years now. Several months after meeting she confessed that she liked me as "more than a friend", thought I was sexy, smart, wonderful and said she wanted to date me. I was very flattered but am not ...
A. 28 September 2011: I'd say forgive her - because she was drunk, and because I bet now she feels horrible enough for having made a fool of herself and for having been rejected again. It's enough punishment:). Just don't give her any more chances to corner you alone ... (read in full...)
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all... But if I never loved I would have never lost. and would not feel the this way..
Q. My ex girlfriend and i love each other alot. Im not putting words in her mouth she has told me that she loves me even tho we are broken up. Its my fault why we broke up. I was drunk and went online and sexted another girl. I honestly didnt know what ...
A. 28 September 2011: Op, you think she should show more self respect. But "he/she should " are the most pointless useless words of the English language. Maybe she should,but... does she ?
Things are what they are not what they should be, and you cannot cont... (read in full...)
How much trouble would we be in if we have sex at a movie theatre and get caught?
Q. I am 19 and I have been with my bf Brett for 2 yrs. Our 2 yr anniversary is on wednesday and I wanted to do something special so I asked him what he would like to do. I was kinda shocked when he sadi he had 2 things he had always wanted to do the ...
A. 27 September 2011: I'd choose making the sex tape together. Having sex in a movie theatre would be " indecent exposure " which is a misdemeanour everywhere and a felony in some States. If it's a first offence probably you would not go to jail ( but in theory, you ... (read in full...)
Did she lie to me about being a virgin?
Q. hi.. M 22yrs old n my g.f is 18.. She told me that she is a virgin but when we had sex.. She got such tight pussy but she didnt bleed but felt pain in another day.. She never played any sport nor cycle.. Is she lying to me? Plz tell me sm1.. Shall i ...
A. 27 September 2011: Titally possible, not unusual at all. She may have what is called " compliant hymen "- a membrane which is very elastic and yields without rupturing. And some women are born without an hymen. ... (read in full...)
How do I stop becoming bitter?
Q. After you have been burned by someone, how do you stop from becoming bitter and cynical about love? I still feel my heart becoming harder. And anger and frustration dampening my hope and enthusiasm so that I do not believe in love anymore. What...
A. 27 September 2011: Well, you try to use logic, even if it's not so easy in matters of the heart :).
What I mean, you have supposedly been burned once, or twice, but hopefully not dozens of times.
So , if you had gotten food poisoning, woould you stop believin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend isn't lasting like he used to, is he cheating?
Q. Me and my bf used 2 have great sex but recently he's only lasting like not even a minute? He never used 2 b like this and am scared that he's cheating on me?...
A. 27 September 2011: If he were masturbating a lot or using drugs ,that would actually delay his ejaculation, not make it faster.
So , yes, since you get this feelings that he just wants to get over it and done, there is a possibility that he may be , maybe not chea... (read in full...)
I love him. If he was doing his part, would I be cheating? But am I wrong?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together 9 months, known each other 3 years, havent seen each other in 3 months, spoke on the phone once in those 3 months. our primary form of communication is texting. And sometimes we go a week without a text, es...
A. 27 September 2011: I am not that sure you would not have cheated if he had shown you more attention. Because basically what you are saying is that you can only be faithful if the relationship proceeds smoothly and harmoniously, without any problem, as a ... (read in full...)
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all... But if I never loved I would have never lost. and would not feel the this way..
Q. My ex girlfriend and i love each other alot. Im not putting words in her mouth she has told me that she loves me even tho we are broken up. Its my fault why we broke up. I was drunk and went online and sexted another girl. I honestly didnt know what ...
A. 27 September 2011: OR, you could have the decency/self respect to not talk to her and move on with your life and not LET her keep you around. You have got your own brain and will and feelings, you can decide what works for you and what does not. I guess it's ... (read in full...)
I left in the middle of the night after sex, now he never wants to hear from me!
Q. Hey everyone, about a month ago I started seeing this guy and he was an absolute sweetheart to me and things were going well... Anyway, last night we went on a date and we planned that I would stay at his house for the night. We had sex multiple...
A. 27 September 2011: I disagree with some posters, it IS a big
deal and I think if the roles had been reversed ( the girls wakes up and the guy has vanished like a thief ) we'd all be bashing him savagely and consoling the girl " Oh sweetheart, he does not dese... (read in full...)
He seemed like such a gentleman, and I don't know what I did to make him stop contact!
Q. I'm very confused here, this guy I met last monday we got along so well and both seemed really interested in each other. It was nice to just talk to a guy and properly get to know them, without them slyly trying to creep on! Well, we ended...
A. 27 September 2011: Uhm ...everybody can talk like a gentleman, then though they have to act like one.
I am suspicious about the fact that he called you last minute to go out, this is just rude, except maybe for closest oldest friends who can dispose of any form... (read in full...)
She never invites me to her home any more. Why does she only suggest we "get a room"instead? What's going on?
Q. Let's say you are in a relationship with woman where is has been off and on for years and have been to her place before, in the beginning. but now she moved and told you "she brought a house" and I live out of town but every time I come into town...
A. 26 September 2011: I agree with YouWish, plus I'd say that maybe she does not want her neighbours to be informed about her on/off sexual activities and your on/off comings and goings. And/or , maybe she does not feel like doing the intimacy / boyfriendish thing ( ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that no woman will ever be interested in me because of my financial problems
Q. I need some encouragment. I am 26 years old and just going to college. I am having some money problems with school loans so I may have to drop out, but I will pursue my education none the less. I am worried that no quality woman I would want to be ...
A. 26 September 2011: I get the feeling that you are sort of piloting the question to be answered : don't worry , true love is above money questions, you can surely find someone who loves you for yourself.
I won't deny that; often love is blind and reckless ( part... (read in full...)
I love him. If he was doing his part, would I be cheating? But am I wrong?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together 9 months, known each other 3 years, havent seen each other in 3 months, spoke on the phone once in those 3 months. our primary form of communication is texting. And sometimes we go a week without a text, es...
A. 26 September 2011: Of course you are wrong, do you even need to ask ?!
Explanations are not the same as justifications. " I am starving for attention " is an explanation, not a justification. It says why you chose to cheat, it does not say that you had the right to d... (read in full...)
Sad part? I don't think he likes me that way. Is it that he just wants to have sex?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for quite some times. We are really close and I believe we've known each other for 7 years. Well this year we finally confessed we liked each other and dated for a two months. After we broke up things went back to o...
A. 26 September 2011: Why do you have your first time with just a friend ? Why not with somebody who 's in love with you ? You'll meet dozens of other guys you'll feel chemistry with, don't think he owns the registered trade mark for chemistry. So why not to wait for ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with the criticism I'm going to get? How can we work it out in the future?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend two years on Friday, because he thought it was getting too intense and serious for two year 11's we were arguing a lot. It was done really nicely and he said if I ever needed anything he'd be there for me, I was the best...
A. 26 September 2011: Why , would you have considered having sex at 13 to 15 ? You were underage-it's not even legal !, forget about wise, prudent, age appropriate or what not.
It's like saying, hey I never shop-lifted, that must mean I am mature.
Back to your question... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 25 September 2011: OP, has it ever crossed your mind that there 's a very simple solution to your quandary ?
If you HATE having sex with a guy who thinks your body is sub par to that of some plastic fake slut- then don't. Stop having sex with him. If you don'... (read in full...)
Is it realistic for me to want to date a guy of a certain build when I know I'll never be that slender myself?
Q. so am so attracted to really tall thin lanky guys... not stick thin but like a naturally thin guy. Like an "Adam Levine", "John Mayer", "Jared Followill" type of thin looking guy. Thing is I am nowhere near thin. I have never been thin...wont ever ...
A. 25 September 2011: Why not ? Well, tbh "not thin " is a big vague and , unfair as it is, there 's a big difference between the level of social acceptance and perceived attractiveness between "flabby and obese " and, say, a fit ,healthy, proportioned size 12. So, if ... (read in full...)
I love him, but my family says he's from a lower caste!
Q. im 19. In love with this guy who is also 19.im a roman catholic. My parents are dead against our match. They say he is from a low cast family and the family is not suitable for me. His family has accepted me and they love me absolutely. We have had ...
A. 25 September 2011: If they are religious ,what about asking your priest to have a talk with them ? Roman Catholic Church does not recognize the caste system, which is against the essence and spirit of Christianity.
Then again, if they ARE religious, they would not ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he loves me, but settling down with me fills him with dread
Q. Hi, i know ive posted a similar question about this problem before but here it is. I had an abortion in May 2010 and since then and especially recently i have had the overwhelming desire to have a baby. Part of me now is desperate for a ...
A. 25 September 2011: And, even if he were wrong ?...
It is what it is. He sounds totally adamant about not having children. To the point of telling you that he'll leave you if you get pregnant again, and he'd only stay if you'd consent to a second abortion. Clea... (read in full...)
My bf never texts me or asks me to come over on his days off. What does this mean for our relationship?
Q. I hardly see my boyfriend anymore because we work different schedules now. He works mornings/afternoons, and I work evenings (both work at different companies). I am trying to get a different job that will allow me to work morning hours. That way, ...
A. 24 September 2011: @Spanner 28 : I get what you mean, but the OP's case sounds different. Your cousin's BF WOULD come home more often, and WOULD spend more time with your cousin , if he only could but he can't.
The OP's bf apparently has days off and COULD ca... (read in full...)
Why does it seem that women when they go to college just lose themselves and become slutty?
Q. Ever since I graduated high school 3 years ago I have noticed that out of all my guy and girl friends that it seems like all the girls that where once nice and respectable have become party whores and seem to have lost their good morals. I really ...
A. 24 September 2011: True, it's an American thing. Which means it involves a lot of people, but definitely it's not universal .
It's funny, I noticed it too, kids are hold to rather strict conduct standards before college - and bombarded with don't drink, don't have... (read in full...)
What does a kiss on the cheek mean?
Q. I was supposed to meet the guy I like and some friends at the bar. The other friends cancled on me so I texted the guy and told him they had cancled and asked if he still wanted to meet. He did. So we met there and talked for 3 hours... at the end ...
A. 24 September 2011: " A kiss on the hand may be quite continental "....and a kiss on the cheek too. It means nothing, it's just a silly habit imported from Europe to confuse girls like you :).
You should see here. This summer I have been away one month and when I ca... (read in full...)
I broke up b/f of 5 years and he hasn't contacted me since then!
Q. I broke up with my bf of five years because of the lack of sex. I broke up with him on Sunday, and then I left his home, but he still hasn't contacted me. He has not asked for me back, he has not called or text or anything. Did I not mean anything ...
A. 24 September 2011: You are the one who dumps him after 5 years, and he's the one who is supposed to call to know if YOU are ok ? Sorry but I don't get it.... (read in full...)
Should you stay in a relationship if the one you love, only likes you?
Q. Hi.Need some answers to this please, Should you stay in a relationship if the one you love only likes you.Even though you have been together for yrs. There's no fighting or bickering just a lack of love on one's part.when you say I love you, and ...
A. 24 September 2011: it's not a matter of " should ", it's a matter of can you ? Can you handle it ? How long ?
In the long run it's very painful to be in love with someone who does not love you back, it's like getting a slight punch in your mouth evey day ,... not ... (read in full...)
I loved him, but he only liked me. Can we still be friends? If not, how can I get over him?
Q. I need some advice. I've asked for advice before, and you have all proven to be helpful. :) I've been in a one-sided love with the same guy for 7 years. He knows how I felt. We actually dated for a few months. It was pretty amazing. Even th...
A. 24 September 2011: I'd add another question :
do I really need a "friend " that disrespect my privacy , embarasses me and makes fun of me in public ? do I really need a "friend " that knows I am deeply in love with him yet decides to date, already knowing he does... (read in full...)
My bf never texts me or asks me to come over on his days off. What does this mean for our relationship?
Q. I hardly see my boyfriend anymore because we work different schedules now. He works mornings/afternoons, and I work evenings (both work at different companies). I am trying to get a different job that will allow me to work morning hours. That way, ...
A. 24 September 2011: I suppose you never see each other during work days due to conflicting schedules. But if he does not want to see you during days off... when is it that you actually meet up ?... and how long has this been going on ?... I am asking this because ... (read in full...)
Does he want a hook-up, FWB, or a relationship?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for two years, and last night we were talking and it became pretty obvious that we thought of each other as more than friends. He asked me if I'd ever be interested in hooking up with him...I said yes. The problem is ...
A. 24 September 2011: Just to be on the safe side, I'd take him literally. He said hook up, he means hook up. And he also mentions being to busy for a relationship, so...
The other activities he mentions are also friendl-y, not only relationship-y. You are friends alre... (read in full...)
Car or bed?
Q. My boyfriend and I are planning to have sex for the first time this weekend. We have two options, either in the back seat of my car or in my room while my sister is home. Which do you think would be a little better?...
A. 23 September 2011: Oh I don't believe in virginity till marriage either.
But I do believe in making love somewhere safe and private , without risking of being caught by a patrolling policeman or having to flaunt my sexuality under a family member's nose.
As... (read in full...)
Our constant fighting has killed the romance in our relationship!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half months, after just over a year of friendship. In that time, I have always tried to be a respectful, honest, and deeply caring partner. And, for the first part of our relationship (our ...
A. 23 September 2011: Well you are talking about " the first part of our romance "... over a total of not even 4 months !, you should still be deep in the middle of the romance phase, if recurring bickering and miscommunications have alreday shown up so early, maybe it ... (read in full...)
Should I get back with my ex for FWB till he is ready to get serious again
Q. A few days after my ex fiancee and I started talking about breaking up, he starting persuing another woman. Because of this I ended it totally with him. They got very serious quickly but she broke up with him a couple of months later. My ex was ...
A. 23 September 2011: Whaaat? Did you even let him finish his speach ? Just out of courtesy I guess. This guy has some nerve. He's telling you : on dating sites so far I haven't find anybody yet available to give me the time of the day, but , I am horny, and since I ... (read in full...)
Long distance... To give it a go, or remain a single traveler?
Q. Hey guys. So i thought i would see what others thought of my situation. Im a dancer, and i am constantly travelling overseas and going from place to place. Me and my ex boyfriend a year ago broke up partly because he didnt want to do long distance...
A. 23 September 2011: When there's a will there's a way.
Eleonora Abbagnato is not just "a" dancer, she is THE premiere danseuse at the Opera in Paris. And an actress too. And a frequent guest star in Tv shows all over Europe. Quite a full plate.
She just got married ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this irritating man child whom I had been dating?
Q. I'm really mad. I was seeing this 40 year old man child for 5 months. He tells me he really likes me, sees us together but needed time to get himself together after a break up. He wasn't married or engaged to this woman. This guy would only call ...
A. 23 September 2011: I agree with idoneitagain. lol is an answer, I think it means " lol,I am laughing because ... friendly drink, yeah right . We both know what you really want, babe- another taste of my beautiful, ahem, body ".
This guy is pathetic, ignore him,... (read in full...)
Who do I pick? Ducky, Arby or Dorky??
Q. Help me pleased I don't know what to do! Okay so I have a few diferent guys asking me out and I got no Idea who to pick. 1 guy is my ex BF (call him Ducky) Him and I were dating for like a week then I had to break up with him cuz of drama in my l...
A. 23 September 2011: I agree with Tennisstar and I vote for Arby. Exes are exes for a reason.... (read in full...)
Should I move on? am I being played? He's re-opened his dating profile. What could possibly be going on in his head?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am so upset and confused. I really appreciate any and all advice that you guys offer me. This might be a bit long, but I will really appreciate it if you stick in there and help me out. Thanks ahead of time. I've been dating my b...
A. 23 September 2011: He IS a cheater. Disloyalty and deceptiveness are in the intentions, going behind your back to the dating site while you two were still together IS a betrayal. If you sign up on a bridge site you want to play cards, and if you sign up on a ... (read in full...)
My mother can't afford the wedding, my b/f's family can but won't help!
Q. Me and my fiance are planning our wedding. I've always wanted to get married in a cathedral, and have a ball-gown style dress, and of course marry the man of my dreams. Unfortunately...my mom who would be fronting the bill, can't afford how much the ...
A. 22 September 2011: OP, I understand how having childhood dreams thwarted is painful , and anybody is entitled to a good rant, but ... now you are throwing tantrums.
Just because you " believe " that a wedding's costs should be split 50/50 between the fami... (read in full...)
On off boyfriend of 4 years doesn't want to date but wants to borrow money!
Q. Hi Cupid, I've been dating this Scorpio Guy on and off for about 4 years. Now he had broke up with me and told me that we were not compatible but wants to borrow money and he says he's in love with me. I'm so confused what kind of game is he playing ...
A. 22 September 2011: A not so secret game. He'll be all lovey dovey until he gets from you the money he wants, after which either he'll realize that you are not meant to be, or perhaps he'll just vanish up in thin air and you'll never see him, or your money, again.... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel upset about this? Or should I accept it?
Q. My bf of 14 months and i have been looking at buying a business together for several months now. We've been looking at cafe's to run together. We've both been scouring the businesses for sale ads and i found a little lock up shop in a terrific...
A. 22 September 2011: Yes, if the whole idea was of running a business TOGETHER, and not just of you helping him find a business for himself, he should just have said " too bad, this is too small for the two of us. Let's look somewhere else. "
You two need to have... (read in full...)
More serious than "boyfriend", not engaged, what do you call it?
Q. I have a question about how to describe my relationship. My boyfriend and I are not yet engaged but are very committed to each other, to the point that we are planning on sharing a house shortly. "Boyfriend" no longer seems like the right word. ...
A. 22 September 2011: Companion maybe ?
Or, just say partner. After all when you introduce him to people they will SEE that you are of different genders. .... (read in full...)
Car or bed?
Q. My boyfriend and I are planning to have sex for the first time this weekend. We have two options, either in the back seat of my car or in my room while my sister is home. Which do you think would be a little better?...
A. 22 September 2011: Well if sis is there precisely with the function of watching over you and your bf, probably she is supposed to make sure that what you want to do is not going to happen.
How are you going to get her off your back ? Are you sure she would not ... (read in full...)
Why do good people always get hurt in relationships?
Q. So why is it that good people always get hurt in relationships? Why is it that when you really are good, caring, honest, and above all loyal to another person you always get screwed over in the end? I have (and not to brag but) been told before by ...
A. 22 September 2011: Five stars to sugar sugar. Look inside not outside. When you point a finger to accuse soembody, one finger points at him/her ,but the other four point at you.
If you find yourself constantly lied to and manipulated and the same scenario keeps alwa... (read in full...)
Should I move on? am I being played? He's re-opened his dating profile. What could possibly be going on in his head?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am so upset and confused. I really appreciate any and all advice that you guys offer me. This might be a bit long, but I will really appreciate it if you stick in there and help me out. Thanks ahead of time. I've been dating my b...
A. 21 September 2011: I disagree with Landomando not because what he says it's not a possibility- even if I strongly doubt it- but because , if it were so, you need him out of your life. He is not a kid and he is not YOUR kid. It's not your interest or responsibility ... (read in full...)
My mother can't afford the wedding, my b/f's family can but won't help!
Q. Me and my fiance are planning our wedding. I've always wanted to get married in a cathedral, and have a ball-gown style dress, and of course marry the man of my dreams. Unfortunately...my mom who would be fronting the bill, can't afford how much the ...
A. 21 September 2011: While I personally cringe at the idea of spending 30000 USD for ,basically, throwing a party- I see that the OP is rather taking a beating and , in spirit of fairness, I want to try and play devil's advocate.
First, if one wants to go trad... (read in full...)
Car or bed?
Q. My boyfriend and I are planning to have sex for the first time this weekend. We have two options, either in the back seat of my car or in my room while my sister is home. Which do you think would be a little better?...
A. 21 September 2011: Neither. The car is good as a default option, but not for your first time that possibly should be comfortable, memorable and romantic.
At your place with your sister in...I don't know you, but I would have been super tense. Little sisters have... (read in full...)
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