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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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Why are smaller nipples more attractive? And when I get mine reduced, will the scars be a turnoff?
Q. I have always wondered this. After hearing many pepperoni nipples and bologna nipple jokes and comments, it's easy to figure out that men are not fond of large areolae. Why is it exactly? Is it because smaller ones are more sensitive? Becau...
A. 2 November 2011: OP, yes, a man who really loves you would love you with scars too. But obviously if he really loves you he also would love you just as you are now, with your real areolas !
What kind of reasoning is yours, OP ? A man that really loves you woul... (read in full...)
Why are smaller nipples more attractive? And when I get mine reduced, will the scars be a turnoff?
Q. I have always wondered this. After hearing many pepperoni nipples and bologna nipple jokes and comments, it's easy to figure out that men are not fond of large areolae. Why is it exactly? Is it because smaller ones are more sensitive? Becau...
A. 31 October 2011: IF you can convince the surgeon, remember, OP, IF.
The average diameter of a female areola is around 3.5 cm, but it can go up to 10 cm and it's still considered absolutely normal. Yours are 2 inches = 5 cm, so...
Anyway, suit yourself, the mone... (read in full...)
Why are smaller nipples more attractive? And when I get mine reduced, will the scars be a turnoff?
Q. I have always wondered this. After hearing many pepperoni nipples and bologna nipple jokes and comments, it's easy to figure out that men are not fond of large areolae. Why is it exactly? Is it because smaller ones are more sensitive? Becau...
A. 30 October 2011: I just thought something and I feel shortchanged. I protest formally.
If men, according to you, comment disparagingly about large areolae, or " pancake nipples "... this must also mean they comment favourably about small areolae ,right ?
W... (read in full...)
My periods are still irregular, any advice?
Q. Hi. I'm 13 and I'm on my third period. The first two were relatively light and I could use the Always pads with the three or four absorbency drop thingys. But now, on my third, it's been sooooo heavy and the Always pads with the four drops get full...
A. 30 October 2011: Yes, it will take you a year or two to start seeing your periods stabilized on a more or less consistent pattern as for duration and flow heavyness. Before that they may be sort of random. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend made a comment about my small breasts and now I don't want to go near him
Q. Hi guys! I need help from you to build my self-confidence. I have a lovely bf and we are planning our future together. However, our sex life is a complete disaster... I run away from him every time he want to get closer to me. The issue is my ...
A. 30 October 2011: Tbh, I don't see what's the big deal either. So your bf 2 years ago said something unflattering about your breasts. Ok, he was tactless and indelicate, knowing you are touchy about the subject he could have kept his mouth shut. But you chose to ... (read in full...)
True or false? Are girls attracted to guys who are mysterious and who are mentally challenging?
Q. I have this question about dating in general: I have heard from my guy friends and even read this on a girl's profile on a online dating site, that Girls are attracted to guys who are mysterious and who are mentally challenging. Otherwise if yo...
A. 30 October 2011: I don't qualify as a girl anymore, alas, and by now I have better things to do with my time than figuring out the mysterious working of the mind of some enigmatic guy .
But , I'd say the middle course is always the best.
You seem surprise... (read in full...)
Why are smaller nipples more attractive? And when I get mine reduced, will the scars be a turnoff?
Q. I have always wondered this. After hearing many pepperoni nipples and bologna nipple jokes and comments, it's easy to figure out that men are not fond of large areolae. Why is it exactly? Is it because smaller ones are more sensitive? Becau...
A. 30 October 2011: You are asking yourself the wrong question " why should I live with areolas that makes me feel so insecure ". The real question is " why should I feel so issecure about some detail as minor as my areolas , and all on the base of some random comment ... (read in full...)
I cannot live with the thoughts of his immoral illegal past dating a 14 year old when he was 23!
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. We have spent almost every night together for the past 4 months and he more or less lives at my house with myself and my child. He sends me love notes and love bears and tells me almost every ...
A. 30 October 2011: In a way what happened is good. Since him being a rapist was not enough to make you give him his walking papers,maybe you'll draw the line now at physical abuse ?..
I would still be curious to know if your child is a girl, and of which age. ... (read in full...)
IS my girlfriend cheating on me? I need women's advice!
Q. I just want to know if my girlfriend is cheating. we been together for some time but since we both in two different colleges we dont see each other as much but we do txt and talk on the phone. she recently sent me a picture and i noticed her butt is ...
A. 29 October 2011: Oh sure . If you have plenty of doggy style sex, your butt grows bigger. And also , the Earth stand still and the Sun revolves around it. And, if you have read hair, it's because your mother slept with the Devil.
Come on !!! How did you get your... (read in full...)
I cannot live with the thoughts of his immoral illegal past dating a 14 year old when he was 23!
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. We have spent almost every night together for the past 4 months and he more or less lives at my house with myself and my child. He sends me love notes and love bears and tells me almost every ...
A. 29 October 2011: Your child is upset and wants them ( his children ) here.... you are really climbing on mirrors in order not to face reality, aren't you, OP ?
Your child, btw... is she a female child , by any chance ? How old ?
"It's not statutory rape because ... (read in full...)
Does he just want Friends with Benefits or The Real Thing??
Q. So there is this guy that I've known for a little over two years now. We've always been really good friends, and whenever I ever needed someone to talk to or a friend to be with, he was always the first one I'd call. He has always been such a great ...
A. 29 October 2011: He won't date you because he is afraid of a drama making girl ??? I don't believe it , it sounds like an excuse to me, but in a way, this is a good thing, imagine if it were true, he'd be the biggest wuss ever !
A little more believable is the ... (read in full...)
Which dating situation is better out of these two?
Q. I met two guys and I didn't end up with either of them. I often think and compare and contrast and I wonder...which situation do you think is worse? Obviously no one would want either to happen but... A guy having a first love that hau...
A. 29 October 2011: I would not touch either with a ten feet pole, but, threatened at gun point , I'd pick the first.
I am very wary of people having " image problems ", unless they are Mick Jagger- I'd find utterly ridicolous a guy who in his heart does not want... (read in full...)
Is he worth the wait to date? He's 17. Or should I just move on? He only wants to talk about sex
Q. Ok so there's this guy, I've liked him for about 4 months. His name is X and we met at a battle of the bands back in January. In June we started texting and getting to know each other. (: He turned out to be a really sweet guy, and always said cute...
A. 29 October 2011: You've answered your question yourself : you don't want this kind of relationship.
So, what are you waiting for ??
No, of course it's not worth waiting for a date !
First, what's theer to wait, his convenience ? If he liked you, he'd asked y... (read in full...)
Why are smaller nipples more attractive? And when I get mine reduced, will the scars be a turnoff?
Q. I have always wondered this. After hearing many pepperoni nipples and bologna nipple jokes and comments, it's easy to figure out that men are not fond of large areolae. Why is it exactly? Is it because smaller ones are more sensitive? Becau...
A. 29 October 2011: Personally I have never heard these kind of jokes about nipples, and I've lived so far with impression that men just like nipples, all kind of nipples,large and small.
It MIGHT be that there is a perception of small areolas being more attr... (read in full...)
Why do men ask for numbers that they have no intention of calling?
Q. Hello, I do not really understand men. I met this guy in a party as he was with my friends. We talked and he mentioned about going out sometime. Then we got drunk and we slept together. I thought it was a mistake but what is done is done and i di...
A. 29 October 2011: Because he has pegged you as a " just in case ". Meaning,
he will have appreciated your night together, and would not mind to hang out again for a few encores.. some time. But, there's no rush. ... (read in full...)
Friend is making racist remarks and says I don't face reality! I am getting sick of him...am I right to feel this way?
Q. Hello everyone, I have a friend who is a little older than me, his dad works with my dad and we have become quite good friends. Recently we have been spending a lot of time together and one night when our parents went out for a meal to discuss ...
A. 29 October 2011: The best would be if you could cut any contact with this guy , ignorance and hatred are already so widespread in society without having to invite them over in your house and serve them coffee!
But, you are in a delicate position because of your... (read in full...)
He was cheating on me so we broke up, but then he contacted me again. Why?
Q. hi,i am 19 yrs girl.i was in a relationship to one guy.he is my senior in my college.i love him a lot.i was in a relation only for 1 month..i understood that he was cheating me.his friends told that.and i heard from his mouth that he was cheating ...
A. 29 October 2011: You don't "love " him, you barely know him ! you have dated him for just one month, and in such a short time he managed to cheat on you. You are infatuated with him, but you don't love him as a person, you love the romantic ideas you have around ... (read in full...)
He has been violent to me in the past but now is being a dedicated husband. Do I believe him?
Q. So I sit here in what is seemingly the "good times" I should see,"the changes he's made",but I cant help but feel,just stupid for believing him. This started 7 years ago although I didnt realize it until it was too late. He was so charming he ...
A. 28 October 2011: As Cerberus Raphael says, typical abuse cycle. Don't be a fool,- take your kids and leave. He's been " good " just because nothing has set him off YET. And the problem is, you don't know what will set him off . This is a disaster waiting to happen, ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong I want more time with him outside work?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. We work at same place and up until 2 days ago together. Because we are dating I was made to change areas. Before this we saw each other at work and maybe 2 nights a week. Which I was trying to get ...
A. 28 October 2011: Not necessarily so. Spending enough time together, yes , spending lots of time together - as in " every moment out of work ", definitely not. Some people will want that kind of closeness, some won't and this does not mean they don't love you or ... (read in full...)
B/f isn't an Australian citizen, has run out of money, no studies, no job, is addicted to poker...and he wants to marry me!!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months but I've got a few problem... 1.His not an australian citizen. 2.He came here to study and almost finished his diploma until he ran out of money because he spent it on going out everyweekend. 3.no st...
A. 27 October 2011: Glad to hear that, my stomach feels better now :)
And it would feel even better if you'd increase the speed of your packing. Slowly ?... As you wish, but you KNOW the sooner you cut any ties with this loser , the better.
I am toasting... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I shaved off my pubic hair?
Q. Ok, so about a week ago, I was shaving my bikini line, but I angled the razor wrong, and shaved off a patch of pubic hair that made my area, which is usually neat, trimmed, and proper looking, look stupid, so in an effort to try and fix it, I ended ...
A. 27 October 2011: I swear I do my best to try and think with a teenager mind when I answer teenagers'posts , but some times it is reallly difficult! " I don't want to think about it "... ? Why, is that such a calamity ? A life altering tragedy ?...
If a five o' c... (read in full...)
Do I need to explain to her that it will not always be this way? She ends up paying too often. It's temporary.
Q. So, i'm a teenager, in full-time education. I run a band, and the Band is getting more and more popular by the second, and have just signed onto a label. Unfortunately, this actually means being really busy, and getting literally no money. However, ...
A. 27 October 2011: I wish you well and I hope that soon your band can become the biggest thing since the Rolling Stones .
But, life is NOW. NOW you are totally broke.
Don't let your gf pay for everything. She probably does not mind, but you should. It's never go... (read in full...)
Do couples with different beliefs usually last?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We have discussed the topic about marriage and how we could work it out due to the fact that we both are different religions and were raised differently. He is a jehovas witness and I am ...
A. 27 October 2011: Get married ? He can't marry a Catholic. If he gets married out of his faith he'd be very probably disowned or expelled or what-they-call-it, I don't quite remmember, and not only in a realigious sense, but in a very practical one. i.e. not only ... (read in full...)
I took him to the clinic because I thought something was wrong with him sexually and now he wont talk to me!
Q. Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles. Okay i've been here before, asking a few questions, and i got wonderful and useful feedback. So now i'm back...same guy...different situation. Okay, so today, i wanted to take him, well the both of us to the clinic ...
A. 27 October 2011: ..The real question is, what were you still doing with a guy who had cheated on you 5 times?? You should not have taken him to a clinic, but directly to the garbage dumpster.
Anyway, yes, you were wrong for " kidnapping " and taking him to the clin... (read in full...)
Why did my friend act weird after making a funny joke?
Q. My friend was acting strange today. We were talking about this Halloween costume contest at my school and she was talking about how the winner got a free dinner from the principal. I said something like "Oh, he'd probably take them to McDonald's or ...
A. 26 October 2011: " you don't think the dialogue was that bad "- but SHE did. She has a different personality and a different upbringing than you. What for you is normal , for her might have been very daring. Young Muslims ( in general, of course ) have a stricter ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I shaved off my pubic hair?
Q. Ok, so about a week ago, I was shaving my bikini line, but I angled the razor wrong, and shaved off a patch of pubic hair that made my area, which is usually neat, trimmed, and proper looking, look stupid, so in an effort to try and fix it, I ended ...
A. 26 October 2011: Look, if you think this is worth becoming a liar, you can simply tell him that you've got some female inflammation or irritation that will heal in a month or so and the doctor said leave it alone.
But , do you really want to lie about some... (read in full...)
I cannot stop obsessing about my boyfriend's height! Please help.
Q. Dear Cupid. Please help. I am driving myself crazy. I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and I love him so so so much, but I am absolutely obsessed with his height. I am 5ft 9.5", and he is about 1-1.5" taller. Yet whenever we a...
A. 26 October 2011: Two possibilities :
- you are not really attracted to your boyfriend, and you feel you SHOULD be because he's such a great guy . You settled for somebody that it's not your type physically, but you feel it's " shallow" not liking him based ONLY... (read in full...)
I like being happy but why do people at school say I'm retarded because I like to laugh?
Q. I'm a very happy person that likes to smile and laugh and for most times no reason I can't help it, I love to laugh and smile. At school people be mean to me and say I'm retarded because I like to laugh and smile. They say I shouldnt be happy that ...
A. 26 October 2011: A laugh is the best medicine, people who laugh and smile often stay healthier and live longer than average . Stay happy , be yourself, and realize that a sunny disposal is a real blessing !
BUT : use common sense. You don't live on a dese... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I shaved off my pubic hair?
Q. Ok, so about a week ago, I was shaving my bikini line, but I angled the razor wrong, and shaved off a patch of pubic hair that made my area, which is usually neat, trimmed, and proper looking, look stupid, so in an effort to try and fix it, I ended ...
A. 26 October 2011: What's the big deal ?? He'll probably LIKE it, for the novelty of it if nothing else , - and if he does not, hey, it's only hair, hair grows back fast.
Girls are always experimenting with their nails, make up, hair colour,etc. I don't see why ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to date him, but he's clearly not interested.
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I need some advice on how to move on. I know this is a question that has been asked over and over again, but I really need help breaking out of my fantasy. I am still in love with someone who once loved me. He wanted a rela...
A. 26 October 2011: I think Odds is both absolutely right and absolutely wrong at the same time :).
Yes, it must have gone more or less how he describes. This guy's reaction is natural " Oh so I wasn't good then but I am good now, uh ? ...when all the others have... (read in full...)
My girlfriend said she was to depressed to date me! What does that even mean?
Q. So i had my second girlfriend ever and we broke up about....a hour ago. I'm fine with the fact that she broke up with me, I knew she was too good for me anyway so i expected it. its just her excuse for why we are breaking up, apparently I'm a ...
A. 26 October 2011: Actually, depression has a lot to do with love life. Depressed people often have sharp declines in sexual desire , or total loss of libido, they lack physical and mental energy, they lose interest also in what they have always found most ... (read in full...)
Do I have another child or go to college?
Q. Hi Everyone, Im having trouble making up my mind. Im 22 and married. I have a 2 year old son. Ive been thinking of going to college but lately ive been thinking of having another kid. Why? well because i want my kids to be around the same age. Im ...
A. 25 October 2011: College college college !
It's not so vital that your kids are close in age, I think most parents tend to idealize quite a bit the sibling bond. As in many things in life, luck plays a part in it, it's not a given that two siblings will clos... (read in full...)
Do I have to explain everything to my girlfriend?
Q. Do I have to explain everything to my girlfriend with whom I have been for last two years? I am a sports teacher here and who gets free from work around 2pm. In the evening,on the beach, I jog for three miles and at the end go for sprint when 100 ...
A. 25 October 2011: I don't understand either what's exactly the problem, I can't think that your girlfriend has got something against sunsets ?
Unless the problems is that you get off work at 2 p.m. and you are only available after sunset, which is around 6 p.m.... (read in full...)
No pleasure from actual intercourse
Q. okay, i find this really embarrassing, but i do think its time i asked at least somebody about this! i'm eighteen years old and i get no pleasure from intercourse. i mean, i can feel him inside of me, but other than that, nothing. i get pleasure f...
A. 25 October 2011: Nothing wrong. It may be that you have some resistance to let yourself go, or that you haven't found yet the best penetration angle / speed for you, and this may change in time. Or not. There are tons of women who never orgasm through intercourse ... (read in full...)
I've only ever been with her, and our sex life is boring
Q. A little back story, I recently turned 23, about 5 years ago I started talking with a woman I met long-distance, she had been coming to see me for about a year, and then I went to see her. I stayed at her house one night, and they kicked her out.. ...
A. 25 October 2011: Well, if you find your sex life boring and the spark is totally gone , I am afraid your relationship is doomed ,
without mutual chemistry what you can have is basically a friendship, not a romance.
Yet... good luck in finding a substitu... (read in full...)
What's his aim? He wanted to be on friendly terms after the breakup, now that I'm ready for it, he's being aloof
Q. We had a brief romance, but it was pretty intense while it lasted. At first, he wanted to be friends after, esp since we have to still see each other everyday at work..but I got nasty..that was my fault. Anyway, it was like 6 months ago and he a...
A. 25 October 2011: Well, it sort of makes sense. When he wanted to keep it friendly, you got nasty . It took you 7 months to cool down and show friendliness, and maybe now he thinks why has it all to be on your terms and conditions. Or , more simply, 7 months are ... (read in full...)
It irritates me that my sister in law won't go to my church but instead goes to her own
Q. Hi guys. I am staying with my sister-in-law. when she first came to live with us, she would go with me to my church. then all of a sudden she decided to go to her own church on a different day. why do i feel undermined and irritated by it?is it ...
A. 24 October 2011: Pardon me, but I can't see the logic here. So, since your in laws have acted overbearing , disrespectful and inappropriate by pressuring you to go to their church, - then you'll do the same to your SIL and you all will be even ?... Two wrong ... (read in full...)
He's my emplyee and the apple of my eye. Can we be more than that? Do you think that it's all wishful thinking on my part?
Q. I recently hired a new male employee (I am a gay male) who is 16 years younger than me. We have a great relationship at work and have even hung around together after work on a few occasions. He knows that I am gay, and single, and he is well over ...
A. 24 October 2011: I am not sure I got this right, but if you have asked him and been turned down, you have no other option than leave it as it is and enjoy what you have now.
I think we should always give people the courtesy to assume that they are reas... (read in full...)
How Much Time is Too Much Time Apart?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for about two months now. The first three weeks were smooth sailing, but ever since then our relationship has been rocky. We only get to see each other once a week, usually on the weekend, and problems arise because when we're ...
A. 23 October 2011: Is it possible that our busy schedules are what's causing our weekly issues ?... Pardon me, Op, but if you don't know it, how are we supposed to know it. YOU know your schedule and your bf's, how full it is, how many things are real priorities ,and ... (read in full...)
Should I date this liar?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a freshman and he's a junior. He's had sex with 3 girls I know of and I'm a virgin, he promises he won't hurt me or pressure me into sex. He's lied to me once about how many girls he's had sex with. When I talk to him in person i...
A. 23 October 2011: Liar ? Sex ? Drink ? Drugs ?...And you are 13-15.
So, guess what our opinion could be....
Heck no ! Are you insane ?
The butterflies you feel are just your young hormones kicking, you are obviously ready to get interested in young males. Just,... (read in full...)
It irritates me that my sister in law won't go to my church but instead goes to her own
Q. Hi guys. I am staying with my sister-in-law. when she first came to live with us, she would go with me to my church. then all of a sudden she decided to go to her own church on a different day. why do i feel undermined and irritated by it?is it ...
A. 23 October 2011: You are very controlling. If ( hopefully ) in your country there is freedom of cult, you MUST let her do what she wants in term of religion . So, unless she still is a child, and / or for some reason she is never allowed to go out on her own, ... (read in full...)
My friend's lover wouldn't give her money should she end things with him?
Q. My friend, who is married, but does not sleep with her husband, has had a 10 year sexual relationship with a male friend. She has talked with him every day by phone, exchanged emails, visited with him and his parents, and exchanged birthday and ...
A. 23 October 2011: Some people have a policy never to mix love and money, or friends and money ( it sounds wise , I must say, seeing how many relationships and friendships have been terminated by financial deals gone sour ). Or, he may have a policy to never lend ... (read in full...)
B/f taking long time to answer texts, photo of girl on his phone, is he cheating?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 9 months we both still live with our parents (he's 21 I'm 18) I love him and he says he loves me and most of the time I do believe him but recently he has been taking ages to answer texts for example he use to text me ...
A. 23 October 2011: Nice job if you can get it : being paid for texting your girlfriend :)
Maybe he stopped texting you from work because he was caught and his boss told him to keep his nose to the grindstone. And the girl on the phone screen, - I doubt he'd be so d... (read in full...)
B/f isn't an Australian citizen, has run out of money, no studies, no job, is addicted to poker...and he wants to marry me!!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months but I've got a few problem... 1.His not an australian citizen. 2.He came here to study and almost finished his diploma until he ran out of money because he spent it on going out everyweekend. 3.no st...
A. 20 October 2011: Op, this is a joke right ? A troll post.Please tell me it is.Please ? I am feeling sick to my stomach.
The tone of many of my posts is at times biting and scarcastic, so that may seem to belie my moniker CindyCares. But I DO care , part... (read in full...)
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