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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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I am in love with my ex. Ex who broke my heart now wants to be friends. What do I do?
Q. I'm in love with my ex. We broke up 5 Months ago after 8 months together and he did it by text after I caught him online cheating and told him to get out of my apartment. He answered that with a "have a good life. Move on" text and would t answ...
A. 10 February 2012: But does he want to be your bf as he was before ( cheating and disrespecting you ), or NOW he is ready for the real relationship that you want ?
And if he said so,... how did he prove, or is going to prove that , to you ?.. ( you can't just take... (read in full...)
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Why then you are staying friends , and hopeful for more, with someone who has been cru... (read in full...)
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A. 4 February 2012: You should forget about it :).
Sweetheart, you sound cool headed and aware, and you have basically answered your own questions. People say a lots of emotional things when they are drunk , which they forget about or are ashamed of when sober.
Wi... (read in full...)
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I need help preparing a marriage proposal
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I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 26 January 2012: A scarf. Not a misshapen, granny -like one. A cool, expensive one, - silk or cachemire. It does not matter if he never wears scarves or he hates them- the idea is that you dab it ( in fact, drench it, lol ) with your perfume and he can bring it ... (read in full...)
What should a teenager wear to a posh restaurant?
Q. Hey guys, I am to go out with a "friend" on saturday night for dinner and I don't know what to wear, basically. We're both 17 so it's not like I have a suit and I wouldn't really feel comfortable in a shirt/trousers. It is a posh restaurant and i...
A. 26 January 2012: Agreed, the most sensible thing is that you call the restaurant and find out if they do have a dress code.
Anyway, if you feel comfortable enough to go to a posh restaurant patronized by adults, I don't see why you can't feel comfortable enou... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see sex as another job/chore. My husband jokes its my "duty" but I really feel like telling him he can shove it
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She'd like him to help her more around the house. She DOES complain he's lazy : she says he'll help , but only... (read in full...)
Have I hurt my Bf's self esteem? I'm shy and got worried I'd do something wrong during making out, so stopped him going further.
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A. 26 January 2012: Rejected, my foot.
Didn't he say that he wants you to do only what you feel comfortable with ? Didn't he say he does not want to guilt trip you into anything...?
Then just do what suits you. Don't try too hard, and respect the rythms and pace... (read in full...)
Was it right to tell the father of my child, someone on drugs who has been harassing me, that the child isn't actually his?
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My friend plans on using her boyfriend as a meal ticket!
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A. 25 January 2012: I am glad you decided to turn to counseling which is probably the best way to get help in your predicament.
I just would like to point out how it sounds you are not in love with the person ( how could you, he must be a very different person now ... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to have threesomes and I don't want to!
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A. 25 January 2012: He got mad because you have ( pardon me, but I have to say it : foolishly ) already said yes in the past so he thought that it was a done deal and assumed that from now on it would have been a given of your sex life. Now you have changed your ... (read in full...)
If I drink energy drinks can I have sex multiple times?
Q. Hello. Me and my girlfriend are going on a trip to New York City and she been making comments like having sex all the time multiple times a day on this trip. It's only days, I'm a little nervous I won't perform okay. She is 31 and I'm 20 and a...
A. 25 January 2012: I have no idea about the energy drinks but I think you don't need to worry. You are 20 ; time is on your side :). And you are a virgin...I am sure you'll release so much pent up sexual energy that you could light up a skyscraper, LOL. And , you'll ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become verbally abusive after finding out I had sex before I met him
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Pregnant and having cramps. Should I go to the doctor?
Q. hiya! i feel really silly asking this, especially on here lol! but i know how amazing you guys are :) so.. im 20 weeks pregnant! finding out on monday whether im getting a little him or her :) this is my first pregnancy (second.. i misscarried in ...
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This guy used me and I dropped him out of my life. Then why am I feeling jealous about his one-night stand?
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What's wrong with sexting someone else while in a committed relationship?
Q. why is sexting (sending racy/sexually suggestive texts and FB messages) wrong? I can't see a problem with it and have been sexting an ex-colleague who i have no intention of seeing in reality. My gf of 6 months (who i love and am serious about) ...
A. 25 January 2012: She is not overreacting, because you are already cheating.
Harmless flirting would be " you look good today " or " nice perfume you've got "- and this too, in moderation, because a regular habit of showering other women with MORE attention than... (read in full...)
My friend plans on using her boyfriend as a meal ticket!
Q. This isn't about me but a friend. She's the same age as me, 20, and a sophomore education major. However she sees her boyfriend as a meal ticket and doesn't think she will work after graduation. She actually believes she will get married within the ...
A. 25 January 2012: It's her choice and her life. You can tell her your opinion, but you can't shove it down her throat.
Normally, nowadays girls do not marry at 22 and do not aspire to be housewives; because they don't want to ( they want a more interesting life ) an... (read in full...)
Sometimes cooking meals is just too much work! Is anyone else like this?
Q. Hi over the past year I have had days where I haven't eaten purely because I can't be bothered. I'm not anorexic or anything like that, I'm extremely happy with my body, but sometimes just the thought of cooking food just makes me feel like its the ...
A. 24 January 2012: But why do you have to skip meals altogether when you can't be bothered with cooking ? Eat big salads adding any leftovers. Eat raw vegs and fruit . Eat cheese and yoghurts. Eat canned tuna, ham, smoked salmon. Eat boiled potatoes and boiled ... (read in full...)
Trying to gain confidence by understanding sexual experience but I feel lost
Q. Sex is very casual for some an almost everyday thing...something most are used to whereas Im not. So, by constantly getting action (vagina or otherwise) and then some idiot comes along with no or little experience, doesnt a woman think "I do this ...
A. 24 January 2012: Uncle Tranced,my friend,
I think that by now you can relax and give it a rest with the "therapeutic" hookers :). Nine is enough. After all , it's not rocket science or brain surgery, instinct does give you a big hand. I am sure that by now you ... (read in full...)
I am on my way out the door and about to separate from my wife!
Q. This will be a long post and I would like honest comments to each point. I am on my way out the door and about to separate. I want to break down the problems so I can improve myself. I'll start with some things that have bothered my wife: -...
A. 24 January 2012: It sounds like this is the Chinese tour guide you have been posting about for the last 2 years...
Sory, but in a way yes, you are the problem.
I mean, this is nothing new. It's not like she recently made an impredictable , amazing 180 degrees ... (read in full...)
Friend and family dumped by dad, now he wants back in but she wont listen!
Q. I need elderly advice please. My friends father practically kicked her mother brothers and her out when she was 2. Reason? He had a new cindrella. My friend like me is 20 and never wants to marry. She says men are things she does when less busy! Her ...
A. 24 January 2012: Why do you want to change her reasoning ? ... The voice of blood ?...Not good enough.
She should try forgive him- for HER own benefit and peace of mind ; it's not good and no use going through life with a chip on your shoulder about what your pare... (read in full...)
Am I justified in getting upset when he talks about his 'sex and drugs' days?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 6 months and we're both in our early 30s. I'm a very responsible, financially stable woman and I pretty much have my shit together. I'm educated and worked hard to get where I am. He dropped out of school when he was ...
A. 24 January 2012: Because you sense that if he's bringing it up so often, it's not really over, completely over. People does not like to bring back a past they have completely turned their back on. They do not like to bask in the glory of their past misdeeds, if ... (read in full...)
Am I justified in getting upset when he talks about his 'sex and drugs' days?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 6 months and we're both in our early 30s. I'm a very responsible, financially stable woman and I pretty much have my shit together. I'm educated and worked hard to get where I am. He dropped out of school when he was ...
A. 24 January 2012: Because you sense that if he's bringing it up so often, it's not really over, completely over. People does not like to bring back a past they have completely turned their back on. They do not like to bask in the glory of their past misdeeds, if ... (read in full...)
What should I think about the way he acts around this woman?
Q. Basically my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and one weekend I went to visit him, On the weekend we went out with his college friends and one of them named John bought his fiancee Anna with him. At the meal my boyfriend focused a ...
A. 24 January 2012: I think your bf is acting macho and thinks John is sort of a wuss for being so clearly smitten with Anna and making cute little comments about uncles and generally acting as a man in love .
Probably in his mind a "real man " does not show a lot ... (read in full...)
I want to have a second baby but where's the potential dad?
Q. Im nearly 30 and im desperate for another child! I have a 7 yr old daughter I was with her father 5 yrs! I met a man who I was totally madly inlove with and I would of loved for him to be the father of my child, but love is blind and this man was ...
A. 23 January 2012: You DO have a family. How do you think your daughter would feel if she knew you don't think of you two as a proper family ? what is it in your eyes - a makeshift family, a " not good enough " family ?.
And, should you not start from the guy , not ... (read in full...)
Wife scared of attraction to other man, how do I help?
Q. Good Afternoon, I could really use some assistance from the "experts" out there. My wife and I are each others first. July of this year we will have been together for 10 years, and married for 6. We have an amazing year and a half old chil...
A. 23 January 2012: You don't have to help your wife help herself, and she does not need to be "emotionaly intelligent " to help herself.
Just intelligent.
If she by now knows that, when she drinks, her evil twin comes out, an evil twin that laps up the attentio... (read in full...)
Can I wear black to a wedding?
Q. HELP NEEDED!!! I know this has nothing to do with relationships but all input wanted!! My cousin gets married in April...and from my direct family (mum, dad, brother) im the one who has to attend the whole day (as in ceremony at church and party...
A. 23 January 2012: It used to be that you were supposed never to wear black or white at a wedding, but if that Middleton girl gets away with wearing white at a Royal Wedding , in fact gets lots of compliments, I don't see why you should not dress in black at something ... (read in full...)
LDR advice please?. Because I need it. He's stressed out over his exams. He's not giving me the attention I need. He thinks it's not big deal..
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together going on two years, we're pretty serious about each other and are planning on moving in together after I finish my Foundation degree next year. We're both 18 and we've been in a long distance relationship for ...
A. 23 January 2012: No. He does not " need " to focus on his r/ship right now. He needs to focus on his exams, on his revision, on everything he's got to do right now to shape his future . He is studying to get into a career, the career will stay with him in his ... (read in full...)
Should I be upset and jealous over his remarks??
Q. I was watching TV with my boyfriend and Faith Hill came on for a moment. This is what he said.... "Mmmm Faith Hill is a scrumptious treat. I want to eat her up. She is sooooooo fucking hot!!!" I got upset and we had a huge argument about it...
A. 23 January 2012: How old your boyfriend is for being so gross and clueless , 16, 17 ???
I too always say " all PEOPLE look, noticing beauty is natural " but this is not noticing , this is being nasty . If he breaks up with you, go out and celebrate . Good ridd... (read in full...)
How can I stop cum leaking out after sex?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, but there is this thing thats been annoying me for some time now... Whenever my boyfriend cums in me after sex, it never like stays in me? whenever I stand up I can feel it leak out, especially ...
A. 22 January 2012: Why is it so awkward and embarassing ? As Honeypie says, it's just the law of gravity. Are law of physics embarassing ?...
Keep a tissue handy . Dab yourself ( discreetly , without making a major production of it ) before, or as soon , you stan... (read in full...)
Why do teenagers get more criticism, when they become pregnant?
Q. ok im 18 now and before i tell u my story i have a question.. why is it that when somebody young ends up pregnant they are judged and discouraged. sometimes even pretty much told to have an abortion..when we can be just as good as parents as some 30 ...
A. 22 January 2012: @Natasia : ?? The average age for first childbirth in Poland is one of the lowest in EU , only before Slovakia, Lettonia, Lituania , but is still 27.9 years. So probably having kids at 18 is less "normal "- in the meaning of usual - than ... (read in full...)
Am I wierd? I hate to see my boyfriend performing oral on me?
Q. i feel i am degrading/diminishing him, i can`t see him doing that ,i always stop him and just want to hug him and make love . the feeling isn't bad ,but that`s not how i wanna feel with him , i would rather have sex i had my ex performing or...
A. 21 January 2012: Weird, no. Uptight, perhaps. Why performing oral on his woman should be degrading/ diminishing for a man ?? There's nothing shameful in seeking and giving pleasure.
Anyway, if you don't like it, don't do it. Not a problem. Everybody has diff... (read in full...)
Why do teenagers get more criticism, when they become pregnant?
Q. ok im 18 now and before i tell u my story i have a question.. why is it that when somebody young ends up pregnant they are judged and discouraged. sometimes even pretty much told to have an abortion..when we can be just as good as parents as some 30 ...
A. 21 January 2012: Because being a good parent is more, and different, than being a good babysitter , which also a teen can be.
A good parent , for instance, is someone who has the patience and the dignity to delay instant gratification and have kids when she ... (read in full...)
Why are many men obsessed with female virginity?
Q. I mean I read alot of stories on here like this. Why does it matter so much? Are any of these guys virgins themselves? I doubt it. why would it be a surprise if a grown woman isn't a virgin? These days most people don't marry before they're 25....
A. 21 January 2012: Yeah, it always amazes me too. I can't figure out where this people live. I mean, I am no spring chicken, I don't do the club scene or the party scene, I have got nothing to do with hippy communes. My community and social environment is pretty ... (read in full...)
He's divorced but I found out he has a longterm gf! He's just contacted me and I am unsure how to deal with all this!
Q. Hi, I need some advice because my heart I think will rule my head. I was seeing this guy and things were ok, he told me was divorced and just wanting to keep things casual, I was disappointed but truthfully I was flattered that this guy was inte...
A. 21 January 2012: Hehe, that's rich. Some people have nerve. " Oh it's complicated, there would be too much to explain, look, why don't you just lay down nice and cozy, and open your legs , and once I have stuck it into you, I am sure you can understand it better ... (read in full...)
Feeling uninspired despite having an ambitious boyfriend
Q. Hi. I just needed a reality check I guess. I have the most wonderful boyfriend imaginable. I simply dont feel good enough for him most of the time. He has a lot more ambition and drive, discipline, talent and brains than I ever could. I have no clue ...
A. 21 January 2012: Oh don't be too sure that it is sooo frustrating to him. If it were, he'd stop doing it, or he'd be much more forceful in asking you to pull your weight. Basically.. people always do what they WANT to do, even if consciously they don't even realize ... (read in full...)
I am in love with my ex. Ex who broke my heart now wants to be friends. What do I do?
Q. I'm in love with my ex. We broke up 5 Months ago after 8 months together and he did it by text after I caught him online cheating and told him to get out of my apartment. He answered that with a "have a good life. Move on" text and would t answ...
A. 21 January 2012: If you want to be with him, you have to accept that it will be at his terms and conditions. No relationship, no committment, no monogamy. Not EXACTLY what you want, is it ? Better avoiding more heartbreak..
As for being " friends " - pfui. I alwa... (read in full...)
Do men like romantic, tender sex
Q. i love to create a romantic atmosphere (scented candles ,rose petals ,silk sheets ,nice music ,food and wine ) making love slowly ,looking into the guy eyes ,hearing his breath and pulling him closer to me.... am i too idealistic ...
A. 20 January 2012: In moderation. I mean, most men have a tender, romantic side and will surely appreciate and enjoy the romantic atmosphere , candles an all, - on occasions.
But if every time it is the same, and every time you need such an elaborate set up , it... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 9 November 2011: Ooohh...you should not have said that, Chigirl :).
Now, you are not gonna get that lovely hot pink ceramic heart -shaped toilet-paper holder which I was keeping as YOUR wedding gift.... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 9 November 2011: Prepare him a special dinner with all his favourite foods ( or order them from the reastaurant if you are a bad cook!:)- and at the end serve him for dessert a cake with " Will you marry me " written in frosting.... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 8 November 2011: I've got a suggestion, - it IS sappy, OK, I know, but once you are going to do this, hey , might as well to be hung for a sheep as for a lamb.
Can you wait until Xmas ? No wait, I think you are Jewish, do I remember correctly ? That's cool... (read in full...)
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