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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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Is my boyfriend a pedophile for watching cartoon toddler porn?
Q. Is my boyfriend a pedophile for looking at cartoon porn depicting very young children? We've been going out for 6 months and since we've moved in together I've been secretly snooping on his laptop and have found many things that have disturbed me. ...
A. 27 June 2013: @asnon of June 27th : then I am afraid that your knowledge is incomplete.
In 2003 the Us Congress passed a law subjecting obscene depictions of fictional minors to the same legal standards as actual child pornography.
It's called 18 USC 1466... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a pedophile for watching cartoon toddler porn?
Q. Is my boyfriend a pedophile for looking at cartoon porn depicting very young children? We've been going out for 6 months and since we've moved in together I've been secretly snooping on his laptop and have found many things that have disturbed me. ...
A. 17 April 2012: @Pedo Bear 666: Isn't there in USA a pornography law banning the depiction of fictitious or cartoon characters drawn to look like minors engaging in sexual acts ?...
Yes, I know there's no specific law against lolicons- but there's one about diff... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 23 March 2012: Great update, I am glad to hear you are feeling better - told ya:).
Also glad to hear that you've got a basilar concept ,i.e. that you can't "fix " him and his actions ( and you don't have to, let that unfortunate girl he is dating go nuts tryn... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 15 March 2012: Oh good : " I was miserable a lot of the time ". OP, for such a stubborn girl like yourself :) , to admit that, in written,.... that's a big step forward . Remember these words ,OP " I WAS MISERABLE A LOT OF THE TIME ". Write them down on your ... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 15 March 2012: Oh no, I understand you are feeling low . Just, tell me : were you feeling very " high " all the time while you let this dude toy with your body and emotions ? If that's the case , it surely did not show even a bit from all your posts ! it did not ... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 15 March 2012: Oh no, I understand you are feeling low . Just, tell me : were you feeling very " high " all the time while you let this dude toy with your body and emotions ? If that's the case , it surely did not show even a bit from all your posts ! it did not ... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 15 March 2012: Of course you can cope,give yourself some credit. Now you are just throwing tantrums. You " coped " for all your life before you met this guy. And don't tell me : yes but he was the best thing it ever happened to me, because you know it's not true. ... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 14 March 2012: Because he is not interested in wasting time communicating with you , unless you put out.
... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 12 March 2012: I think yesterday you had opted for the " totally ignore" tactic .
Do you feel your determination wavering ?... If you do,why would you say is it happening ?... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 12 March 2012: Again, that's not how a player thinks.
It's not at all about availability of sex. In this day and age, sex is a rather accessible commodity for most everybody, it's not something you have to fight firespitting dragons for. And if it were abou... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 12 March 2012: Because that's not what cheaters do.
He probably IS happy with his gf- he's not leaving her, right ? In fact ,they are going to live together. But he thinks that he can be even happier if he can have his gf .. and something on the side just to l... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 11 March 2012: No unless you want to be hurt again : munched, chewed and spit out.
If you remember I told you this was likely to happen... he probably thinks that you are playing hard to get, or just mad because he stood you up. Anyway he has this smug atti... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 11 March 2012: And do you believe him ?... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 11 March 2012: Sooo predictable. What a clown. In the same breath, basically, he says he'll respect your decision- and he asks you to meet up. How's that respecting your decision ??
I hope you know how to spell : NO.
Or , even better, ignore him. ... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 11 March 2012: Patience, OP. Patience amd keep your cool. Again,- sorry for the lack of immagination,- it's just like quitting smoking. The first days or weeks are horrible, and then at some point ... you just breathe easy and you feel great -like a new ... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 11 March 2012: Very good, OP.
You may feel sort of shitty atm, but this is like quitting smoking. It's an addiction, in your case to your illusions, and when you stop you may have withdrawal symptoms, but in time you'll feel SO glad you've stopped.
Let's ho... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 11 March 2012: Yes,picking out curtains may be a stressful process, and he needed some stress relief :)...
And...did you answer his text ? WHAT did you answer ?
Btw,OP, watch your step.. you know this is a poisonous situation for you and you've got to get your... (read in full...)
Do you stay and fight for love? Or if love has gone, should you leave?
Q. I feel like I'm falling out of love with my bf and, as this has never happened to me before, I need advice: do you stay and fight for love? Or if love has gone, should you leave? For background: we've been together 18 months, don't live toget...
A. 9 March 2012: Women who don't trust htheir husbands quite often have got husband who can't be trusted...
What does he mean, " nothing happened " ? Something DID happen. What happened is that he was sexting with a colleague, and ended up in bed with two fema... (read in full...)
What is he really saying when a guy says he's not ready to be in a relationship?
Q. There's this guy and I know for sure he likes me but he says he's not ready to be in a serious relationship because he broke up with his girlfriend 2 months ago. He said that I'm really beautiful and he's given a lot of thought about us. What d...
A. 9 March 2012: It always means " You look good, are nice and everything, but.. I still think I could do better ".
" I am not ready for a relationship " is short for " I am not ready for a relationship WITH YOU ". Of course there may be exceptions where a pers... (read in full...)
My b/f of almost a year has not come to see me after a medical procedure. Should I be upset?
Q. I'm really upset that my boyfriend of 11 months did not come to see me after I had an out-patient medical procedure. He lives 1-1/2 hours away and knew about this procedure well in advance. My parents came into town to take me the day of ...
A. 8 March 2012: It's personal and individual.
If we look at it dispassionately, I guess we'll have to say: yes, it's not a big deal . An outpatient procedure ? like, in day hospital ? You get operated in the morning, like, and after few hours they send you home... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hit me last night, should I be missing him this much?
Q. I don't know what to my bf hit me last night and here i am sitting here wish he was here with me i still love him but should i be missing him this much? i hate it he just moved in with me and i was in a abusive relationship with my daughters dad and ...
A. 8 March 2012: Suppose I tell you: No, you should not be missing your abuser . It's not right, not healthy, not rational, not this not that. And ?. It is what it is : you miss him.
Miss him all you want, the most important thing is that you don't let him come... (read in full...)
My boyfriend helps himself to the food in my home and I don't like it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for six months. I see him at weekends and he stays at my house. When we go out he pays for meals. I am also generous. However, he gets up in the night or early morning and helps himself to food in my house. This really ...
A. 7 March 2012: I'm in minority here, but, I side with you,OP. I get what you mean, what you describe would bother me too. And no, it's not about money , at least for me ( albeit, that too could be a reasonable objection for many people, since food is becoming ... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 7 March 2012: Yes, that's a start :)
But, now there's the next step. You know what you've got to do, right ?. You have to unfriend him on Facebook ,first ,and block his other contacts to you.
Maybe it's difficult for you, but I think by now you realize ... (read in full...)
Do I pick the one my parents want and live an okay life or pick who will make me happiest but know I will have to start all over?
Q. I have been in some real shitty relationships since I was about 17. I was always the 'untouchable' hottie who everyone thought was gorgeous but never got a chance with. I got real sick and started to finally date this older guy who at the time was ...
A. 7 March 2012: Yeah but... still scratching my head -
He is still a verbally and emotionally abusive alcoholist, even if closer home. I am surprised that any parents would see him as the ideal partner for their daughter just because of geographic dist... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 6 March 2012: Good thinking ,OP. Don't look back ,look forward - make different choices, and you'll get different results. Who knows, maybe you are not cut out for FWBs - and surely you are not cut out for users and losers like your ex "friend" , you deserve ... (read in full...)
Do I pick the one my parents want and live an okay life or pick who will make me happiest but know I will have to start all over?
Q. I have been in some real shitty relationships since I was about 17. I was always the 'untouchable' hottie who everyone thought was gorgeous but never got a chance with. I got real sick and started to finally date this older guy who at the time was ...
A. 6 March 2012: Maybe I got confused ,but this make no sense to me.
Isn't Bill the alcoholist ? The one who your parents see as a hillbilly ?
As far as I know, being called a hillbilly is not such a great compliment . It means that you are ignorant and unco... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 6 March 2012: " seemed " to actually like you. "seemed " being the key word, obviously not all that seems is also what really is going on.
But- you got hints . Heavy hints. Reread anon female's post, OP : with all the call it quits N.1.2.,etc.
You've got your... (read in full...)
Can anybody read this man's mind?
Q. I was going out with my partner for a year and a half. He always travelled with work and we always managed to make things work. But after xmas he said he wasn't sure if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. When I challeneged him and said ...
A. 6 March 2012: I don't think you need a mindreader, he told you what he feels and why he calls you in a reather self explanatory way , he hasn't been particularly mysterious : he misses the closeness.
The fact that you are not " the one " for him, does not mean... (read in full...)
What am I missing here?
Q. I have a family picnic outing with my girlfriend and her family and also a child (11 yo) from a family friend. I was playing catch me with the same child, and while we were playing she said you are slow and fat and you can't catch me. I didn...
A. 6 March 2012: I agree with KC 100 literally, word by word. Plus :
True, your girfriend should have pulled you aside, maybe she's not the best for social skills - BUT, she has a good brain and a good heart. What the heck does it mean " she's not your child " ? ... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 6 March 2012: Yes I guess that if you have OCD that may be a big part of the problem.. Are you getting help for OCD ? Therapy ? Medications ?...
Remember anyway that if OCD impairs your control over your thoughts... you still have total control over your acti... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped talking to me since I got a boyfriend?
Q. A guy friend, at least i thought he was, has basically made an idiot out of me. I used to think he liked me and we fooled around for a while but then he got back with some ex girlfriend without telling me. He just stopped taking my calls and ignored ...
A. 6 March 2012: Yes, I remember well the "friend "- back- from -Afghanistan saga...
Let's start from the end.
I am tempted to say, -good job, you did good to break up with your bf. Staying with him, while being so massively consumed by thoughts and worries ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified of losing the confidence and support coming from male attention if I commit myself to just one guy
Q. Hey guys, I really could use advice; from the guys and the ladies; it would be greatly appreciated! I'm a 19 year old female, currently in my frosh year of university. I was a fairly shy, homely looking child growing up, and didn't get much ...
A. 6 March 2012: I think you give too much credit to male gender, OP :). As if all were perfect gentlemen that, knowing you are " taken " would stop looking at you , or complimenting you, or even making passes at you. It does not happen. In fact, for some ... (read in full...)
Why does it seem that less and less people use personal restraint in relationships today?
Q. How come less and less people have self restraint these days? There are so many instances about people cheating on their bf/gf, students sleeping with teachers and most recently an acquaintance of mine who slept with her sister's husband. Why does ...
A. 6 March 2012: I think you are just being a pessimist :).
Nothing new under the sun, these things always existed, they were just kept a bit more under wraps.
Read the Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio . It wsa written in 1350, it's a collection of tales taken fr... (read in full...)
How can I protect my girl friend from the psychological abuse her foster parents are imposing on her?
Q. Hey – So long story semi-short. My girl and I have been together for 9 months. She’s 16, I’m 18. We’ve been together since she was 15 and a freshman in high school, and I 17 and a senior. She’s adopted, been with that family for 4 years now...
A. 6 March 2012: I know you'll just hate my answer and won't agree with me at all, you don't have too and I do not want to convince you. Just to show that there are always two sides of the coin.
Obviously I can 't discount your perception of what's going on and ... (read in full...)
I cant talk to girls, so should I hire an escort to lose my virginity?
Q. 20 year old virgin, should i hire an escort to lose my vcard i am socially awkard and i have never spoke to a girl casually, and hardly speak to guys wither, except when im buying something or business like that.I do have an athletic body an...
A. 5 March 2012: Personally I could never get the point of "sensual massages ". Why spending plenty of cash for something that you can do by yourself- and better :). I mean, if you want to have intecourse, you absolutely need a female organ to perform with ( I ... (read in full...)
She's happy she is with me but keeps giving me mixed signals!
Q. Hi. So im going to jump right into this but it may end up being somewhat long i dont know haha. but anyway ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost four months... weve really gotten into each other and i feel like she may be the one. ...
A. 5 March 2012: OP, it's not just the young age, it's... how can she be "the one " ? the one is the person who loves you back, freely,generously and unconditionally. If you meet the one, you don't have to mistrust, to doubt, to feel insecure ,to read signals.
Y... (read in full...)
Throwing in the towel is never been an option if you love someone, or is it???
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year. I moved 700 plus miles to be with this woman. We both come from long marriages with bad ex'es. We both have custody of our boys. Needless to say blending a family is hard. Please tell me if I'm being an ...
A. 4 March 2012: My personal point of view is that, yes, you do throw the towel some times, no matter how many good qualities a partner may occasionally show - you throw the towel when they cross certain boundaries that are a point of no return. The main one is ... (read in full...)
When I asked if my boyfriend would come to see me he said "thanks for the offer"! What is going on here?
Q. Hello, I am wondering if anyone of you have good insight to a mans mind... I recently had a conversation with my boyfriend that has left me confused! We were talking on the phone late in the evening the day before I was to leave to be at my moth...
A. 3 March 2012: Agreed, your bf acted a bit passive aggressive. " Thanks for the offer " means " thanks but no thanks " and obviously he hoped that you'd leave it at that, without having to elaborate, defend or justify his choice. At every objection you raised ... (read in full...)
Has anyone here risked everything to follow their heart? What was the outcome?
Q. Here is my question: aunts, have any of you (male or female) ever taken a major risk in order to follow your heart? If so, what was the outcome? Do you regret the decision? And here is why I ask. My boyfriend's job has given him notice that he m...
A. 3 March 2012: If it would be harder for you to find employement in Canada than for him to find employement in USA providing he had a visa, it makes sense that he's the one who should move.
Have you considered carrying on the relationship as temporarily long... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't want to put on facebook that he is in a relationship
Q. okay my boyfriend and i have both have a facebook he use to not have problem with putting that he is in a relationship with me now he don't want to he just wants to keep it as single. i have begged him to change it cause ill feel more comfortable ...
A. 3 March 2012: I don't even have a Facebook account , so probably I am not entirely qualified to answer , but common sense is common sense in and ot of Facebook, so this sounds fishy to me.
How would telling the truth " bring drama " ? In which sense ? What... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a pedophile for watching cartoon toddler porn?
Q. Is my boyfriend a pedophile for looking at cartoon porn depicting very young children? We've been going out for 6 months and since we've moved in together I've been secretly snooping on his laptop and have found many things that have disturbed me. ...
A. 3 March 2012: Of course he may have some, or even several, good qualities. I read a biography of Ted Bundy , the serial killer, and under many respects he was an outstanding guy. His employers appreciated him, his colleagues loved him, he even volunteered lots ... (read in full...)
Am I jealous? Or do I have something to actually be woried about regarding my Gf's actions????
Q. I have been dating my girl for a year and a half and love her so much we are planning to get married net year. But one thing i need to know is if she is cheating on me , she has a male friend which she goes out to dinner with once a fortnight and ...
A. 3 March 2012: I'd say , half and half.
Meaning, you may be tendencially too territorial- of couse if she goes to the beach she is going to wear a bikini, around any man who's there, what is she supposed to do, go to the beach with a ski outfit on ?
But, I w... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a pedophile for watching cartoon toddler porn?
Q. Is my boyfriend a pedophile for looking at cartoon porn depicting very young children? We've been going out for 6 months and since we've moved in together I've been secretly snooping on his laptop and have found many things that have disturbed me. ...
A. 2 March 2012: Child porn ? TODDLER porn ?
" I keep thinking it's just fantasy and does not mean anything ". Yeah, it only means he's a sick bastard and you'd better stay way clear of him.
Maybe he was abused as a child, that's sad but it is his problem,... (read in full...)
Is it true that women never forget their first sexual partners?
Q. I'm a 30 y/o male, got married when I was 28 I have a 19 month old boy. I love my wife and child. But my question is the following: "when my wife and I had intimacy for the first time she made it very clear and reinstated that she wasn't a vir...
A. 2 March 2012: No, it's bullshit. I mean, they remember him, meaning they ( probably ) remember his face and name , where it happened,which day was it - same as one remembers any first time.
But remembering is not the same as longing or missing or having any ... (read in full...)
I have a sexless marriage and my husband is a sex addict! What do I do?
Q. I desperately need help. I have no one who I can talk to about this and I'm afraid it's going to destroy me. I've been married for 26 years. There is no question it's not a perfect marriage. There are two issues that I am fighting and feel like I'm ...
A. 2 March 2012: It's not that your marriage is not perfect, it's that it is not a marriage anymore. It may be a financial society, or a house sharing arrangement between two highly compatible roommates, but it's not a marriage. I doubt that you could do anything ... (read in full...)
I've developed a strong hate for gay men because of a failed legal dispute, how do I change this?
Q. Ive been involved in a legal dispute with a major airline the last two years over a discrimination claim. Ive now lost the case and the man I accused of discriminating me is gay. Since the incident (and a few bar happenings), Ive overall developed a ...
A. 2 March 2012: Sorry to hear you've lost the case , I think that if you go back to counseling, which seemed to help you in the past, it may be useful to process the feelings of anger and frustration that you must be experiencing now, and that are clouding your ... (read in full...)
He told me he didn't want to lose me but wants to be single. What do I do?
Q. soo.. my boyfriend has told me before that he never wants to lose me.... but now hes saying hes not gunna dump me but he just hates not bein single and hes one of those people that just has to me free....what do i dooo?!);...
A. 2 March 2012: Your bf has basically told you that he wants to keep his cake and eat it too , so what you should do is telling him : thank you , I'll remember your offer in case I should become totally desperate/ mentally incapacitated, as of now , bye, good ... (read in full...)
If we get serious now how will I know he wont do bad things like he did in the past? Should I give him a chance?
Q. This will be a bit long, but please bare with me. I've known this guy "D" for about 6 yrs. We met when I was 16 and he was 20. We dated for a couple months but then I started dating someone else so we stopped talking. But for the past 6 yrs I've ...
A. 1 March 2012: Why even asking why ? does it matter ?...
Maybe he is mentally disturbed, maybe he's on drugs, maybe he's an alien coming from another planet where this is the normal courtship ritual. Why do you care. All you should care , is : do you like him acti... (read in full...)
Does my FWB still like me?
Q. Hi everyone hope you can help me I ended a fwb relationship a few weeks ago as he was treating me very badly he would text after work early hours of the morning wanting to come and e See me for sex that was the only time I ever saw him and I had fa...
A. 1 March 2012: You are still useful to him and he'd like to use you some more. He probably hates the thought of losing a readily available, uncomplicated, effortless source of physical release.... (read in full...)
My ex wants us to start sleeping together again! What is he playing at? Does he not care how this will affect the kids?
Q. Is my ex partner trying to play mind games? 2 months ago i broke up with my partner of 8 yrs as he can been verbally and physically abusive towards me. He accused me of giving him children he didnt want and ruining his life, i was also accused of ...
A. 1 March 2012: If he accused you of having given him children that he never wanted, it makes sense that the wellbeing of above said children is very low in his list of priorities.
I think he does realize that having random hook ups with you does not prov... (read in full...)
Ladies, would you go out with a guy who asked you out straight away?
Q. As the above question says, would you go out on a date with a guy who you had only met on that occasion asked you out at the end of the evening? If you perceive that as needy, if a guy fancies a girl when should he ask her out?...
A. 1 March 2012: Needy ? Why ? If we really want to be nitpicking, maybe someone could perceive you in fact as a bit too cocky .
But in general I see nothing wrong in going straight for the kill. You see someone you like, and you try to "get " her - it's legi... (read in full...)
I'm afraid this model-gorgeous girl will steal my thunder at my wedding!
Q. Hi everyone! I know this is gonna sound childish and all but here's the thing: I'm getting married in a few months. It's gonna be a very intimate ceremony with just my fiancé and I plus the witnesses and a bunch of friends. Problem is, my fiancé's ...
A. 29 February 2012: Find out to which hair salon she's going for the wedding, then bribe her hairstylist with a hefty sum to give her a horrible haircut or dye her hair purple " by accident " :)
Just kidding.
Nobody will steal your thunder on your wedding ... (read in full...)
I feel like an outsider after our discussion about wills and money!
Q. HI guys. I have posted questions on here before and had some really good advice so hope you can help. To cut a long story short, I have been with my partner almost four years and we are reasonably happy. It started out long distant but i mo...
A. 29 February 2012: No, I would not be upset , I would think it's very normal . Most people bust theirs a...s off and work all their life precisely with the intent to build up something substantial to pass on to their children. I don't think it's fair the children ... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 28 February 2012: Love ? What kind of love is it a love that can't wait 15 months ?, when there's tons of time... It's not as if his sperm were expiring in 2012 ... If nothing else, he should want to wait to make sure that the mother of his child faces pregnancy ... (read in full...)
My Girlfriend is a total nag! help!
Q. My 55 year old girlfriend,who I live with, is a total bitch. She only wants sex 1 time every ten days where I want it every day. Next for 9 months she continuously nags me follows me and tells me to clean this clean that. It's annoying and it ...
A. 28 February 2012: We cannot know if your GF is a real nag, or just a tired exhausted frustrated woman who does not want be the unpaid nanny of a grown up boyfriend.
So, why don't you make a little experiment. You start cleaning up after yourself every time, and ... (read in full...)
I don't want sex anymore because we are not trying for a baby and I simply don't feel like it anymore, so should I end the relationship because this is not fair on him?
Q. My boyfriend and I met each other having both come out of long term relationships 3 years ago, him a marriage with 2 kids and me long term partner no children. We are both 40 years old now. We discussed having children about 1 year into the ...
A. 28 February 2012: Do you " not feel like it " period, or ," do not feel like it because if we are not trying for a baby there's no point in sex " ?
It's a bit different. If it's the first , there may be various reasons, - from depression to hormonal inba... (read in full...)
Are we in a good position to be making these plans for our marriage in the future?
Q. Hi so really this a question to get people's opinion. here's the back history of me and my boyfriend first so you know where I'm coming from :-) I've been going out with this boy now for 4years he's 19 (20 in september) and I'm 18 (19 in April) we...
A. 28 February 2012: Yes, but you are getting married today, not 10 or 20 or 50 years ago. Today's statistical odds are hugely against you. Which of course it does not mean you are doomed , or that you can't happily celebrate your silver or golden wedding ... (read in full...)
OK I get that she once did porn, but why does she feel ok showing to people??
Q. Hi Agony Aunts and Agony Uncles, Here's the deal. I met a girl at a party and liked her but then found out she once did porn. She seemed sweet and even innocent and I could hardly believe it. I found out by googling her name. We spoke about it...
A. 28 February 2012: It's not a matter of right or wrong, it's a matter of having a different moral compass.
I don't think she feels ashamed or guilty about her past, otherwise, as you notice, she'd make sure it stays safely PAST and she ewould not go around adve... (read in full...)
Are we in a good position to be making these plans for our marriage in the future?
Q. Hi so really this a question to get people's opinion. here's the back history of me and my boyfriend first so you know where I'm coming from :-) I've been going out with this boy now for 4years he's 19 (20 in september) and I'm 18 (19 in April) we...
A. 27 February 2012: Just being so concerned about getting your family's approval and ooohs and aahs of elation is sort of juvenile :)
Not that people necessarily must be confrontational or "in your face " with their family, or should not be happy about their fami... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 27 February 2012: Ouch. Age gap ( not humongous though ) ... and culture clash. Then, it figures. It's difficult. Yeah, " All you need is love " ,"Love conquers all " ... in theory. In practice, as you are witnessing, such huge cultural differences mean a lot, ... (read in full...)
I want children, just not right now! B/f wants me to forget about education and have them right away
Q. Hi everyone :)...... Just asking for some outside perspectives for the confusing mess iv got going on in my head right now! My partner is 35, I'm 22. He wants kids. Soon. I'm about to graduate in about 15 months. So he wants to start trying so...
A. 24 February 2012: Let me add a few NO NO NO NO NO to Aunty Bim Bim's.
If you just couln't wait to become a mother, and the only problem would be disappointing your parents, or not meeting your teacher expectations for your future and career , I 'd say do as you ... (read in full...)
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