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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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GF doesn't like her engagement ring, what do I do?
Q. I recently proposed to my girlfriend who said yes. Our wedding is in March and she just finally told me that she doesn't like her ring because people don't know it's an engagement ring when they see it and it won't match her dress and clothes. It's ...
A. 23 October 2012: OP, would you care to elaborate ?.. I did not understand what you mean. When did all this happen ?...
When you say you went to a NY auction for the center diamond , are you still referring to the original pink diamond, or to a new stone ?
What ... (read in full...)
He's not interested in providing for me if he passes away. Is he being selfish?
Q. Hi I remarried in May this year, we both have grown up kids,I have 4 he has 2, He owns our house,and is buying another house to rent out, we have no life insurance, and Im worried that if he dies before me, I will have nothing,he always said his...
A. 19 October 2012: Perhaps, beyond any moral or emotional stance, i.e. what "feels " like the right thing.... the most practical thing to do would be to check accurately the Administration of Estates Act 1925 .
In UK there are very detailed laws regarding inhe... (read in full...)
Advice on how to stop worrying over someone's sexual past?
Q. Okay so for those of you who are going to say "get over it" or "the past is the past" please dont bother. For the rest of you here is the problem. I am a virgin, i have only ever kissed(by kissed i mean a peck that lasted 1 second) a girl before, ...
A. 17 October 2012: OP, first of all let's be clear about something : at 16-17 , you haven't waited for " so long ", you haven't waited diddly squat, also considering that ,in most States of your country, age of sexual consent is 18 and if you'd have sex now you'd go ... (read in full...)
21 and never been on a date. I'm worried I never will be!
Q. I am 21, I have never been on a date with a girl, never kissed a girl. My generalattitiude is "I can't do it, I am never going to find somene, so why bother anymore?" I know I am "attractive" I work out alot and my girl friends (notice the ...
A. 17 October 2012: Then, yes, I am afraid you are at a standstill. If you wait for the proactive girl who is smitten by you and does all the chasing, - well I am not saying that it can't ever happen, because in fact it can , at times, but naturally your chances ... (read in full...)
GF doesn't like her engagement ring, what do I do?
Q. I recently proposed to my girlfriend who said yes. Our wedding is in March and she just finally told me that she doesn't like her ring because people don't know it's an engagement ring when they see it and it won't match her dress and clothes. It's ...
A. 17 October 2012: OP, while there's no law that says an engagement ring must be white, and while a blue sapphire was good enough for the Princess of Wales, right ?,... that's not the point , the point is that your fiancee wanted something that screamed, that yelled ... (read in full...)
I feel like we're constantly playing a game and I just want to know, am I winning him over or losing?
Q. Desperately need help! He's charming, witty, social,an excellent conversationalist, intelligent, extremely, extremely charismatic.. There's something about him and no matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking about him. I've dated a fair few...
A. 17 October 2012: ...Feelings ? Are you sure he must be feeling anything in particular ?...
He sounds like an extrovert, confident guy, not the type to nurture a crush in secret. And seeing that you always have occasions for social contacts, and he never took the... (read in full...)
He's not interested in providing for me if he passes away. Is he being selfish?
Q. Hi I remarried in May this year, we both have grown up kids,I have 4 he has 2, He owns our house,and is buying another house to rent out, we have no life insurance, and Im worried that if he dies before me, I will have nothing,he always said his...
A. 16 October 2012: He is being a normal dad, who has been working all his life in the intent to provide for his own children and guarantee their economical future.
Your children have a father too, and he is the one who is supposed to do likewise for the futu... (read in full...)
And I being selfish wishing to back out of being a bridesmaid? The bride's expectations are too high.
Q. A very rich close friend of mine is getting married in February and has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. Of course I said yes as I've known her for years but here's the problem, she expects that I will pay for the following: My dress £210, Sh...
A. 16 October 2012: Selfish ?! She is the one being selfish, you can't invite people then demand,not hope, not ask, demand that they dig into their pockets ! It's a considerable amount of money for a lot of people- we are already at 600 pounds, wedding gift not ... (read in full...)
Advice on how to stop worrying over someone's sexual past?
Q. Okay so for those of you who are going to say "get over it" or "the past is the past" please dont bother. For the rest of you here is the problem. I am a virgin, i have only ever kissed(by kissed i mean a peck that lasted 1 second) a girl before, ...
A. 16 October 2012: You have already received very good advice, and personally I am the worst person ever to advise about RJ because I start an authomatic eye roll as soon as I read a post about it, I just can't relate, frankly it seems to me the biggest mental ... (read in full...)
How do I get my friends and family to see that the relationship I have with younger girl friend is real and that she's not a gold digger?
Q. How do I get my friedns and family to see that the relationship I have with younger girl friend is real? I am 39 and a very successful business man. After breaking off my long time relationship with my ex I started dating a much younger 22 yr ol...
A. 16 October 2012: Uh- I admit I am old fashioned in that, but I have been raised that you never accept cash gifts, and expensive too as for that , ( a year of college education in USa, it costs a pretty penny ! ) from someone who's not your father or your husband. ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my b/f of 1 week that I'd prefer he didn't take drugs?
Q. Hi there, Me and my boyfriend (who have been together for just over a week now)have really fallen deeply for each other. We get on so well, have the same sense of humour, music tastes, etc..almost everything I've ever wanted in man I've found i...
A. 16 October 2012: My bet is that he'll do anything for you, BUT stopping using cocaine, and everybody knows that " tryng to quit " is just an attempt to fool oneslf and other people. When you REALLY are determined to do something, you don't " try", you do it. ... (read in full...)
Two teens madly in love. Do I stay or go? Or should I move on and try again when he grows up?
Q. So my boyfriend and I had been together for a year before suggesting that we take a break from the frustration of not seeing each other and fighting about it all the time. I was upset but found out that he just wanted me to be happy with someone....
A. 16 October 2012: I'd like somebody would explain me how do you cuddle by text ?? Cybersex, well, I can imagine. But cuddling, what do you write : " I am hugging you " " I am hugging you too "?...
Anyway : GO. You could not meet each other before, for some reas... (read in full...)
GF doesn't like her engagement ring, what do I do?
Q. I recently proposed to my girlfriend who said yes. Our wedding is in March and she just finally told me that she doesn't like her ring because people don't know it's an engagement ring when they see it and it won't match her dress and clothes. It's ...
A. 16 October 2012: The girl is coming off as bratty and looking real bad, so I want to try being the devil's advocate and champion her cause.. even if I see it's sort of a desperate endeavour :)
While personally I think I would not have had the nerve to ask for ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my new neighbour, but I've been in a FWB with my other neighbour for 2 months. How should I play this?
Q. I moved into my apartment building 2 months ago and met my neighbor shortly after the move in. We hit it off right away. We have been hooking up for about a month and a half. It is weird because its like we are in a relationship but we are not.. ...
A. 15 October 2012: I think I remember you... there was a situation a few months ago... you were sexting a girl and your gf caught you and got mad... you told her " I don't remember, I was drunk " but that did not cut it and she dumped you....and you were ... (read in full...)
I want to marry my boyfriend but parents don't approve! And advice?
Q. I want to marry with my boyfriend but the problem is that we both same caste but in our religion same caste cant marry with each other. We both love each other so much, please suggest what should we do...then our parents agree......
A. 15 October 2012: What do you mean you can't marry from the same caste ?... You are supposed to , that's what Hindu marriage is about - endogamy ( marrying among your own group ).
Unless you mean you belong to the same jati ( sub - caste , or sub-sub- caste )...... (read in full...)
She ended our FWB situation because she was unsatisfied with the sex, but all the time she told me how great I was! How do I deal with this?
Q. Im shattered over here. A woman i met for intimacy is seeing another guy and is done with me because i had mental issues regarding vaginal sex. In the four times i met up with her over several months at the end of each meeting i asked if she was ...
A. 15 October 2012: Because if she had told you straight away ," sorry, this does not do anything for me and I'd rather be in bed with a good book ",- probably you'd have made a sharp 180 degree turn and left dust clouds in your trail, at least that's what she ... (read in full...)
Should I confront my ex's finance over her actions whenever my ex visits his son? Is she jealous or insecure?
Q. Hello cupids! Some help here would be appreciated. I have an 8 week old son with my ex. I left him when i was 3 months pregnant because he cheated, and i was confronted by the "other woman". At the time he had been with her we were not serious...
A. 15 October 2012: I think all you can and should do is telling your ex and growing a pair. He is NOT a great dad, if a whistle from a skirt is enough to make him cut the visit short after 5 minutes. His kid should come first, and unless he is a minor, a total wuss ... (read in full...)
Realistically, what do 20 something year old girls think of men with long hair?
Q. I've always been really self-conscious about my appearance, namely because I have pale-skin, red hair, freckles, and glasses, while the rest of my family all has dark Native-American hair, eyes, and skin. As such, I was always picked-on for being ...
A. 15 October 2012: Personally I am a big fan of long hair on males ( young males , I am not at all so crazy about the " hey I was at Woodstock too " look ). BUT : long hair are more hair, and more hair are very visible, eye catching hair, and if they are very ... (read in full...)
How long should a guy last during sex?
Q. how much time, under normal circumstances,c an a guy last when having sex in the first round?...
A. 15 October 2012: Do you want to know how much they CAN last or how much they SHOULD last ?
There are stats for both.
How much they CAN actually last , surprisingly is not much . 3 to 7 minutes ( penetration only , forepley not included ).
How much they SHOULD ... (read in full...)
Do I dump him over the attention he's giving his 'back-up women?" I no longer trust him.
Q. My boyfriend is around 10 years older than me and is in a rush to get married because he feels that he is of that age and his family and culture expects that of him. We're of the same culture and I definitely understand that about him but I just c...
A. 15 October 2012: Sorry but the " just dump him " is really the only solution here. Your bf is a slick one, and you are disquietingly naive. Do you really think that any normal girls would accept to go on semi- dates with him, for years ! as apparently they are ... (read in full...)
Can I forgive my girlfriend for not supporting me when I was at the lowest point in my life?
Q. I was bereaved 15 weeks ago. My son died in a fatal car crash. My girlfriend and i had a petty row and she walked out on me. I asked her not to go because i had shouted at her. I was bang out of order. My emotions were all over and i was dreading my ...
A. 15 October 2012: I think you are better off being lonely without the ties of a relationship with this particular woman.
She gets drunk and insists for driving her own daugher home ? How irresponsible. It makes me think that's basically the reason why she does not ... (read in full...)
Any study tips please to allow me to study in a noisy environment?
Q. I could really use some help.. I have an important exam to sit for in about 2 months time,let's just say its going to be a life changing exam,it either breaks me or makes me.. BUT the place I live I wouldn't say its too noisy but in the afternoon...
A. 14 October 2012: Then, foam earplugs or silicon earplugs.
Or, again, the library .You don't really need to walk around to remember things, it's just a habit you've gotten which surely you can ditch applying a minimum of self restraint ?
Or maybe you could as... (read in full...)
Any study tips please to allow me to study in a noisy environment?
Q. I could really use some help.. I have an important exam to sit for in about 2 months time,let's just say its going to be a life changing exam,it either breaks me or makes me.. BUT the place I live I wouldn't say its too noisy but in the afternoon...
A. 14 October 2012: I don't think that loud music and walking around are the best way to concentrate for a life changing exam ( or any exam as for that ), ... anyway... , why don't you just use an mp3 with headphones ? At a high volume ? So the music will pour into ... (read in full...)
Was he flirting with me? I can't tell. Should I go back and talk to him?
Q. I did not recieve any help last time I posted, so I will post again. Hi, so, last week I met this guy, and he was really nice. But I can't get him out of my head. I'm really sorry if this is long, but I'm so confused. So last week I went to go buy...
A. 14 October 2012: I think he was just being nice- professional nice, didn't you say he was nice to the elderly man too?... The discount too, does not mean much per se, these days nobody buys CDs anymore, if you want to sell them you've got to be flexible with prices ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend really hurts me during sex
Q. My boyfriend hurts me when we have sex. I'm a small built girl and quite skinny and he's a whole lot heavier than me. He lies down ontop of me and puts all his weight on me. He grinds his chest into my boobs and literally drags my nipples down my ...
A. 14 October 2012: @anon male reader : ?? The point of the OP's post is that she has already told him, time and again, that he is hurting her, and he just ignores her, in fact he gets nasty. I think it's rather clear from the context that when the OP says " he says ... (read in full...)
There are decent guys like me who get no where. Why do some girls allow guys to treat them in disrespectful ways?
Q. My friends are always giving me a hard time calling me nasty names because they say I treat girls "too nice". At first I use to brush it off but now it is getting really old hearing them go on and on about how I better check to see if I still ah...
A. 13 October 2012: I agree with the other Aunts and, as for that, I'd be curious to know why, if you are so nice and respectful, you freely choose to associate with these guys , that you actually call " my friends ". The company you keep in general says a lot about ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to do this? Should I allow this boy to come into my tent while we are camping and share my sleeping bag?
Q. I'm 14 (girl) I have been talking to this guy that I met the other day, we have been sending hearts. He's coming camping with me and one of my friends and one of his. He wants to if he can sleep in the swag (sleeping bag) with me, is it to early fo...
A. 13 October 2012: You are the love dream of every lazy horny teenager.
Only two days you know him, all he's got to do is sending you a couple of hearts , and you are ready to open him your sleeping bag. He'll know that all he's got to do is sending a coup... (read in full...)
Messaged an old high school b/f and now can't get him out of my mind
Q. Hi, I got nostalgic and looked up and messaged an old high school boyfriend on a social networking site a couple of months ago. He was someone that I would have really liked to reconnect with but I did not get a reply from him. I have looked t...
A. 13 October 2012: I don't think you have angered anybody and surely you haven't angered me: if you want to carry a torch for 23 years, be my guest, it's YOUR torch.
It sounds though as if yours was not actually a question, but a request for confirmation of a th... (read in full...)
I am confused by his actions. Can a man concurrently and happily live with his wife, make love to his wife, and care about his children while occasionally having sexual affairs with men?
Q. My husband of 16 years of marriage has admitted to a gay affair and numerous indiscretions with men for the last 6 years. I was devastated and even though 8 weeks have passed I feel a little bit stronger. I have been receiving counselling to come ...
A. 13 October 2012: Why do you see this as a sexual orientation issue ? Bottom line is, your husband is cheating on you. A cheater is a cheater, whether he cheats with males , females or penguins.
I don't think the socio -psychological questions, albeit inte... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 13 October 2012: Yes, don't feel guilty- maybe I am being a b..h, but I find curious that due to his depression, he has not got the energy to buy you a birtday gift, or to visit you more often, but he still has the energy...to comment on each and any pair of ... (read in full...)
Messaged an old high school b/f and now can't get him out of my mind
Q. Hi, I got nostalgic and looked up and messaged an old high school boyfriend on a social networking site a couple of months ago. He was someone that I would have really liked to reconnect with but I did not get a reply from him. I have looked t...
A. 13 October 2012: I bet ! Of course one can just look at the pic, feel nothing and move on- what else, after TWENTYTHREE years ?!... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want a proper blow-job from my girlfriend?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she's the only girl I've ever been with and I love her, everything is perfect but there is one thing she won't do for me. She won't finish me off with a blow-job ever. I'm not even asking her to swallow ...
A. 12 October 2012: I doubt she actually "likes" it- she would not stop if she did. I think what she means, and does not spell clearly out to...spare your feelings, is that she does not totally hate it, and she can handle doing a perfunctory bare minimum ,in order to ... (read in full...)
It upsets me when my Bf will not reply to my texts. Why does this wind me up?
Q. How can I feel better when my boyfriend doesn't reply to my text messages? I know, I know, there's stuff that's way more important. Last night we had a long text conversation (which was lovely), then a couple of hours later I sent him a messa...
A. 12 October 2012: Let's play Pop Psychology 101 and say that you may have developed an anxious-preoocupied attachment style.
People forms attachments in their human relationships and these attachments tend to be modeled over the kind of attachment they had deve... (read in full...)
My guy's mother hates me. How can I get her to accept me and her grandson?
Q. I met my bf three years ago just before he left to go over seas with the army. We didnt "offically" start dating until he came home because he didnt think it was fair to ask me to wait for him, We wrote each other almost daily and I waited for...
A. 12 October 2012: Pardon me , but it does not sound your bf is supportive, or , if he is, he is in a most ineffective way.
He's probably right not to want to bother with a DNA test, you know he's the father, he knows he's the father, end of the story .
But, let... (read in full...)
I'm gay and my boyfriend wants to have sex but I'm scared that he will hurt me
Q. Ok s first of all im gay. My boyfriend of a month really wants to have sex. But im scared to because im the bottom and his penis is very large and hes really rough whenever we have fooled around before. What should i do because i honestly think i ...
A. 12 October 2012: Excuse me ? The age of consent for sex, gay or straight, is 16 in UK. Having sex with an underage boy ( even if he is consenting ) is a criminal offence. "Sex " meaning penetrative sex, oral sex and masturbating together .
If he is over 18, - b... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got his roommate pregnant with twins. We have a child together. What should I do?
Q. Please help me I just found out about my boyfriend, who lives in another house, got his roommate pregnant 7 months ago. She now had twins but she's not out of the hospital yet. I found out about it today I have never liked her. the first time I...
A. 11 October 2012: Yeah, weird story full of holes. So, most probably, shameless lie .
He lived with this woman and never noticed she was pregnant ??? Aw come on, Ok she gave birth at 7 months, but 7 months with twins it shows like 9 months with a single baby. She ... (read in full...)
Should I quit work and return to Uni? In a LTR which may be affected by the decision.
Q. This isn't really a relationship problem but I would be very grateful for any advice offered. Basically I suspended my uni studies last year due to personal problems and I'm torn between going back or not. I'm worried if I do go back the same thing ...
A. 11 October 2012: Did you solve your personal problems ? Has the issue that caused you to quit been taken care of ?... If so, do go back to uni. You only tried once, I think you need to at least give it a second try before deciding that ini is not for you. As for ... (read in full...)
Why do I shake when near climaxing? I'm embarrassed. Is it normal?
Q. So when and my boyfriend are doing foreplay I obviously get turned up to the point of climaxing and when I know I'm nearing that I get him to stop. I do this because I tend to shake when I do. I'm worried that he'll find it weird which is why I st...
A. 11 October 2012: Shake away , there's nothing strange. People have different physical manifestations when they are climaxing or pretty close, and shaking is one. I don't think shaking is "weirder" than panting or making sounds or saying Omygod,...or any of the ... (read in full...)
Is this a cultural thing? I'm not sure if it means more or not? He's from England and I'm from Australia
Q. Now this might sound a over reaction but my boyfriend text me goodnight and said see you soon luv?!!! Isn't luv what you would say to some random girl not your girlfriend of a year? He's English and I'm from Australia so is it common to use suc...
A. 11 October 2012: Hey Aunts and Uncle... there's no pleasing you guys :)
"Luv" is too casual,..."my child " is too wicked-witchy... ( Btw, in Italy the equivalent of " my child " is a normal, very affectionate term of endearment, exactly what you say to a girl... (read in full...)
Should I stick with this guy who gave me an STD and who has another girlfriend? I want a husband and family!
Q. I started dating a guy I knew for a while after two years of losing my fiance' to cancer. I'm 35 years old and he died when I was 32 going on 33. I didn't become intimate with him until about 4 months into our dating. Anyway, this guy a lot has gone ...
A. 11 October 2012: What should you do ? RUN !
This guy is a whole daily newspaper full of bad news.
He needs- or wants- your financial help. He gives you an STD . He has child support issues ( baaaad news ). He has another girlfriend,! he won't fess up and tries t... (read in full...)
Is it too late ? How do I apologise sincerely and convincely? I know I messed up and ruined our trip gether.
Q. i was seeing a very nice guy soon after ending a long term relationship of 13 years. Unfortunately it only lasted a few months because I was not ready for a relationship so soon and he was hurt by me. we planned a trip together and right before...
A. 11 October 2012: Whoa, you went on a trip with a guy and spent all the time
cryng and pining about the ex ? In his face ? Frankly , I think you have been lucky and you've met with a gentleman and a really good sport. . Had it been me at his place, sorry but I woul... (read in full...)
Is it possible for an indian citizen to visit pakistan without passport
Q. Hey dear cupid..i just wanna ask u it is possible for an indian citizen to visit pakistan without passport..i heard about the express train which runs between the two countries..or if she gets the pakistani citizenship by getting married witha ...
A. 10 October 2012: No. Except for a small handful of States ( not India ) everybody need a visa on their passport to get into Pakistan. You can get a visitor's visa to see friends, relatives, or " for any other legitimate reason ", for 3 months, renewable at their ... (read in full...)
I asked out a 45 year old woman, I am 28 years old. Where to take her?
Q. Hello everyone. I have met a 45 year old lady and we have been talking for the past 2 months. I didn't meet her online or at a bar. I met her because she lives very close to me. I am 28 years old, single and we seem to have and feel a tension when ...
A. 10 October 2012: As long as you don't take her to Chucky Cheese ! :) At 45, she does not need to go to any special " Golden Age " bar.
As for your second question, ...hard to say. Expectations are not standard , and don't go by age bracket. You will have to find... (read in full...)
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