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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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I don't want kids!
Q. I'm a 23 year old male with a 23 year old girlfriend. We have been together since we were 17ish, had 1 or 2 breaks, but now were serious and committed. I live with her mum dad and sis, and have done for a couple of years now. We are happy and ha...
A. 17 February 2013: I had read your question properly, but just in case I re-read it today.
It still says that you told her " I think I don't want children ". Which it is quite different from " I am sure, positive , certain that I don't want children ". Or just from... (read in full...)
My boyfriend married someone else a few weeks ago. Should I listen to his words that we could be together?
Q. my boyfriend got married to some other person few weeks back. He says they are not staying together, and he still tells me that he loves me and want to be with me forever and will marry me. i am not getting what to do I am not able to go away ...
A. 12 February 2013: How is he going to marry you when he just got married ?
Sure, there's divorce, but , in a country where there still such a stigma on divorce... and the divorce rate is around 1% ... it means that this has a 99% chance of NOT happening, does... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Am I the only 18 year old who has never been kissed?
Q. I am 18 and i have never had a stable boyfriend. i am really nice and fairly pretty. Im a little over weight (170lbs) andd i feel like that holds me back a bit. I have had a lot of guys interested in me over the years but they are creepy and no ...
A. 12 February 2013: I see nobody has been brave enough to mention your weight , so.. I'll go first.
Dear OP, 170 pounds (or ,78 kg. ) is not a neglectable weight for a young woman. It all depends. If you are tallish, say at least 5'7, then yes, you are " a bit " ov... (read in full...)
I don't want kids!
Q. I'm a 23 year old male with a 23 year old girlfriend. We have been together since we were 17ish, had 1 or 2 breaks, but now were serious and committed. I live with her mum dad and sis, and have done for a couple of years now. We are happy and ha...
A. 12 February 2013: Be honest. Stop deceiving her. Now she is under the false impression that you have agreed on having one child. Tell her the truth, and don't tell her" I think that I don't want children " but "I am sure that I don't want children ".
Sure, peop... (read in full...)
Online dating -- I'm an idiot...
Q. I met a man online, I haven't dated for a while by choice...but we seemed to have a lot in common. I spoke to him via the site for a while and then we moved on to phone and text and we texted back and forth all day everyday. We agreed to meet and ...
A. 11 February 2013: Dear OP, it IS a double standard. Double standards are bad things, yet they do exist and you have to reckon with them.
Same as, I don't know, pollution. Pollution is bad, it should not exist. But it does, and you want to take it into account befo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't drink, how do I handle the alcohol issue in his birthday party invitation??
Q. Hey y'all ! So I've been in a LDR with my awesome boyfriend for a year now. He comes to see me often, so he's met my friends. this time, i want to throw a birthday party for him at my apartment...and all *my* friends will be invited obviously since ...
A. 11 February 2013: I agree with telling or writing your guests to not bring alcohol as a gift , because it would be a total waste of money , but I don't think you need to be uber-politically correct and ban alcohol from your party .
He is a Muslim , but he is a Mu... (read in full...)
Should I postpone our wedding? Things are so tense at the moment with his kids and I don't want to move into that kind of environment....
Q. Hi there. I'm engaged, my boyfriend is a bit older with sons of 14 and 12 who live with their mom and visit at weekends. Everything was fine over past 2 years, but recently he has huge rows with kids, I guess their age etc. Things get so tense it's ...
A. 11 February 2013: Life is not a dress rehearsal ; it should be dealt with in the here and now. If you wait for X situation to be perfect , every detail just according to plan, before you take Y action... you might have to wait forever.
His kids are being diff... (read in full...)
I'm starting to think I have more feelings for my girlfriends daughter than for my girlfriend!
Q. I am a 26 yr old man currently dating a 43 yr old that has a 18 yr old daughter and 2 younger boys I am finding a hard time not becoming attracted to her now she is of age me and her mom have been together for a few years now what should I do I am ...
A. 11 February 2013: And are you into plastic by any chance, Benjamin ? That sounds like a bad remake of The Graduate.
Of course that was a movie , and from the 60's, so the audience wants a traditional happy ending, and feels it's OK for Dustin Hoffman to go a... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong? A friend had feelings for him. But he wasn't interested. Months later I went out with him. Now everyone is mad at me.
Q. I am 22 and in my final year of university. I have been living with the same group of girls since first year, and one of them had a crush on a guy who lived in our halls when she first met him. He didn't return her feelings, which she knew. ...
A. 11 February 2013: Why are you even considering telling this guy that nothing can happen between you ?! Just because your roommmate had un unrequited crush on him 18 months ago ? ..
That , IMO, would be stretching " girls' code " to a ridicolous extent. Your room... (read in full...)
I'm torn.. my heart wants this baby, but my mind says to get an abortion
Q. I've been through a lot of stress and heartache, shame as well as guilt, and more. I will try to make this as short as I can. I'm 23 years old and I have a 2 year old daughter. I got married when I was 21 and I was with him for 6 years..right now ...
A. 11 February 2013: I'll sound heartless, but I think that in your case the mind should win hands down, and just " listening to your heart " would be a self indulgence that would be basically unjust toward the newborn and most of all the kid you have already.
You ... (read in full...)
I went on a few dates with a girl, but nothing panned out...however I really hit it off with her friend. Should I pursue this?
Q. A while ago I went on a few dates with a girl but before anything got started we both realized we weren't each other's types and so broke it off. She's now become romantically involved with a friend of mine - which is absolutely fine by me but it ...
A. 11 February 2013: Yes, pursue this, you are being over scrupolous, it's not that weird at all, it's not like you were engaged with this new girl's sister or something. You just went on a few dates with her friend, and both agreed you were not right for each ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I don't like it when he calls me bad names, but I'm also scared of him.
Q. I have been hanging out with this man for about 5 months, he says we are just friends but we act more like a couple, heres my question!! I have been giving him b j a lot and there have been times he pushes my head down and he calls me bad names a ...
A. 11 February 2013: Good luck, sweetie 39. This " friendship " is only 5 months old, it won't be THAT difficult to terminate it... anyway, remember : he can't text you- if you block him or change number. ... (read in full...)
He's married. We're strongly attracted. I even told his wife nothing was 'going on'. I want to have sex with him, should I?
Q. Hi...this is my first time seeking advice through the internet. I'm almost 20 years old. I applied for a job at a restaurant and I got the job and the general manager is 37. During the interview we made deeply eye contact and then once he...
A. 11 February 2013: Destiny ?
" Unicuique faber forrunae suae "- each of us is the maker of our own destiny.
Destiny is what you make through your choices, words, thoughts, actions and omissions.
If you are the kind of woman who actively looks for love in the ... (read in full...)
Family won't let me see him since he was arrested
Q. hi everyone.. . well, just to start off this weekend has been ery hectic in a very emotional way. You see, there is this boy that I have been talking to since the begining of the school year ( since august), and we have gone more attached I would...
A. 11 February 2013: Sorry, I am biased. I am a mom, and -kudoos to your Aunt.
You have nothing with this guy, he's not an old friend or a long time boyfriend who got himself in trouble; situation which, albeit still unpleasant ,would warrant being treeated with more... (read in full...)
Mother's strong opinions make her tough to be around
Q. My mum is far too opinionated and it's getting very stressful to deal with. For example, my female friend has just ended a relationship with her boyfriend to go out with a girl. My mum thinks this is a phase and someone needs to sit her down and ...
A. 11 February 2013: Can't you just agree to disagree ?
You are 26 -29, by now your mind is made up, you have your opinions and core values, - same as your mom has hers. You don't need to fear that, being exposed to different opinions, your mind will be poisoned or y... (read in full...)
I lost my virginity to him, but now it seems he's ready to move on. Do you think he is breaking up with me?
Q. My boyfriend and dated for two and half months. I loved him and thought he loved me and I lost my virginity to him the second month and three weeks later he sends me a message saying he hasn't been feeling hisself lately and that he is overwhelmed ...
A. 11 February 2013: It means that the excitement of the novelty wore off, and now he is breaking up with you... without TOTALLY nreaking up. He finds convenient to put you on hold, so he can get you back when he feels really hormonal, or if he does not find another ... (read in full...)
Should I be the one to deal with my Bf's ex Gf? And if so, then how?
Q. Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. The thing is, he's got this psycho girlfriend who he had been with for 2 years. She kept contacting him anonymously (putting her phone number in private and call him and just stay there a...
A. 11 February 2013: ...Strange: has he forgotten her last name and town/ city of residence ? That all he'd need for an Internet search. Through Intelius or something.
And , a 20 y.o.guy who does not have a cell phone ?? Bizarre...
Anyway, people can change their la... (read in full...)
I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 9 February 2013: Uh... "gold digger" ... what a big word for a 120 pounds necklace :).
While I don't think that you have to spend one cent more than you can comfortably afford, and that your gift does not need at all to match his in monetary value and that... (read in full...)
Considering my circumstances for next 3 years, how can I come to terms with delaying having a baby? My desire is for a baby right now
Q. Lately I have been having day dreams about what it would be like to have another baby. I already have a 9 year old and I seriously think im getting broody. Sometimes I lay in bed thinking about that first mooment when the baby is born and you feel...
A. 9 February 2013: Because hopefully we have developed the ability, common sense and self control to resist our urges when they are in sharp contrast with our best interest , current circumstances and life goals ?
Everybody gets urges that 's not wise to indu... (read in full...)
Should I reconnect with my first ex? Despite his threats and the reasons I broke up with him earlier?
Q. so here is my problem i broke up with ex 1 year ago,the reason was that he used to discuss wanting to force me for sex which i never wanted to do, actually it was an online relationship we never met, we were about to meet, but he used to say he w...
A. 9 February 2013: Why in the world should you reconnect with a guy ( whom you have never met , btw ) who threatens to rape you, basically ? If he was joking... well, it's a bad joke and just his creepy sense of humour is enough to disqualify him as a partner, if ... (read in full...)
Does this 'relationship' have any potential?
Q. we've been seeing each other for over a month now. Every week, but usually at his place. We will go out for dinner the odd time. He says he wants it to stay casual as he just got out of a 3 and a half year relationship. In the beginning he woul...
A. 9 February 2013: I don't think so. He told you he wants to keep it casual. He told you he does not want a relationship. Believe him. Big age difference, never married. Said really sweet things " at the beginning ", but that has already stopped - in all of one ... (read in full...)
Guys, do you prefer shaved or natural/trimmed pubic hair?
Q. Dear guys, This is just a question for you: Do you prefer women to be all hairless/shaved/waxed in the pubic area or is it also okay for you if a woman is just a little trimmed or even completely natural? Would it be a turn off for you if you ...
A. 9 February 2013: Dear OP, your " safer " bet in absolute is doing what works for you, and what you are comfortable with, without worring about winning the Prize for Most Popular Crotch of the year.
I started trimming as soon as there was anything to trim ther... (read in full...)
Should I be the one to deal with my Bf's ex Gf? And if so, then how?
Q. Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. The thing is, he's got this psycho girlfriend who he had been with for 2 years. She kept contacting him anonymously (putting her phone number in private and call him and just stay there a...
A. 9 February 2013: First of all, stop mommying your bf. That's HIS ex calling HIS phone, so that's HIS issue and he should be able to sort it out on his own. I have a hard time believing , that, even at his young age, a guy can be so hapless to not know how to take ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I don't like it when he calls me bad names, but I'm also scared of him.
Q. I have been hanging out with this man for about 5 months, he says we are just friends but we act more like a couple, heres my question!! I have been giving him b j a lot and there have been times he pushes my head down and he calls me bad names a ...
A. 9 February 2013: That's so self evident : you STOP seeing him, and you stop giving him bjs. You are scared of him and he calls you names ! - there's no reason for you to be with someone like him, neither as friends nor as a couple. ... (read in full...)
We want to wait until next year when we are both mature to be a couple...but how should I act until then?
Q. High school-junior Male-16 Me and this girl have silently liked each other for almost 2 years now, but we didn't tell each other how we felt until a few months ago. We decided that this is something we both want (a relationship) but we wan...
A. 9 February 2013: What's the prob then ? If she must / needs / wants to wait until 17 before she dates, ... that applies to you same as to any other guy. She won't date ,kiss, etc.etc you- and she won't date,kiss, etc.etc other guys. She won't be officially yours, ... (read in full...)
Is it unhealthy or bad to make love every day?
Q. I live with my bf and we make love almost everyday,very often. Right now I am thinking on how bad it could be for me as a girl,I don't really think it good to do it everyday. I spoke to him about it and he explain how much he loves making lov...
A. 9 February 2013: Making love every day is neither bad nor unhealthy, if you want it too. If you don't- don't do it. It's not only his sexual feelings and needs that counts, but yours too. If you have a lower sex drive, it surely should be possible to reach a ... (read in full...)
How do others cope with similar? My family gatherings bother me. There is just small talk. And my grandfather's eating habits appall me.
Q. hey all,I love my family but when we all join each other around the dinner table i literally feel as depressed and hateful as ever (i know this may sound stupid) but my grandad (who i have no real relationship with due to family circumst...
A. 9 February 2013: I don't particularly see a problem with small talk at meals, what do you want to do, discuss about the destiny of humanity in front of your meatloaf ? it's only polite to choose conversation subjects which everybody can join in AND which are not ... (read in full...)
Wisdom teeth problem
Q. more of a health issue than relationship, but advice is appreciated, aunts this is so not a relationship question but it's bothering me , I was fine till recently I realized my wisdom teeth was coming out I thought I didn't even have them, I went to ...
A. 8 February 2013: Maybe I give the medical profession more credit and trust that they deserve, but I can't think that a dentist would advise you unnnecessary dental surgery just to scam you out of 1600 bucks . Also because I never met anybody who had their wisdom ... (read in full...)
Am I not being sensitive enough? Or should she be cutting me some slack?
Q. Hi, A bit of background, I'm currently 18 and in my second semester of college. My girlfriend is in Highschool (We started dating back when I was a Senior). We've been dating around a year and a half, and I'm willing to admit I cheated on he...
A. 7 February 2013: Risking to sound totally uncompassionate, I say that what you've got to do is : drop her now, like a scalding potato.
And you are wrong, NO, she is not more important than your studies, your grades, and your future. You have to focus on that, and ... (read in full...)
Friend of 5 years ditches me for his girlfriend. I feel hurt!
Q. I'm lost, confused and feeling really down. I lost a friend a while back after we had an argument when he started ditches me and others for his new gf. I was always very weary of her, she was very much younger than him and had slept around alo...
A. 7 February 2013: This must be really heavy on your mind, since you have posted about it already, and I must say, at this point your attachment starts to be a bit worrisome. We all need to face reality , unplesant as it may be, and accept what we cannot change.
T... (read in full...)
Why Do My Boyfriends Always Leave Me?
Q. Why Do My Boyfriends Always Leave Me? My boyfriends ALWAYS leave me, and I have no idea why. It's starts out all love and lollipops and then BOOM, gone. I'm pretty (objectively), and it's like they date me for that firstly and then get in...
A. 7 February 2013: I disagree with the previous poster. I think in fact,that you try too hard , so they smell a rat . They perceive you act confident, but it's an act. You are tryng way too hard : cooking their favorite foods, running their errands, suffocating them ... (read in full...)
We've been talking for a week and he says he's in love
Q. So i started talking to this guy that i met on facebook. i really really like him, we have only been talking for a week and he's already saying he's in love with me. i had a really bad break up with my daughters father and it took forever for me to ...
A. 7 February 2013: Exactly, you can't be in love with someone you have never met and you have started talking to few days before. At most, you maybe in love with the mental image that you have created yourself about that person, whom you don't really know anything ... (read in full...)
How long can someone's feelings last, without ever mentioning anything to the person they like?
Q. First of all i want to say this post is really long. The predicament i am facing is something i thought i would never have to go through. But I was wrong. So what does my guy friend mean when he tells a friend of mine that he liked me several ...
A. 7 February 2013: Uhm. If he is very concerned about the difference between your cultures, but he says " he would date anybody regardless of their ethnicity " - quite probably he is adding a mental proviso like " BUT I would never marry them or make a future with ... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong? This girl looked so irritated when I looked at her
Q. I was walking down the hall at school and a girl was coming my way. At first i didn't notice her because I was looking down when I was walking, then I looked up and saw her looking at me and when I started looking back she looked away, like she didn...
A. 7 February 2013: Maybe she would not want you. But if you approach her, and let her see your confident, happy side, at least you have a chance. If you don't , you have zero chances and everything stays the same.
" We need to change our life before our life chan... (read in full...)
Older boyfriend said he was ready for responsibility but an unplanned pregnancy had him singing a different song!
Q. Please help! my boyfriend is 12 years older than i am.He is ready for any family responsibility.but when i told him i was pregnant,he told me to get and abortion because he want me to finish school.Do you guys think he loves me or was just an abuser ...
A. 7 February 2013: Well, if you are 26-29 , I don't know if we can play the " took advantage of the youngest " card. You are an adult as well and you are equally responsible for planning your pregnancies, even more considering you've got to finish your school. ... (read in full...)
I had a sneak-peek at his email. I found out he's buying things for himself on line he's not told me about. Why the secret?
Q. I've just found out that my boyfriend secretly spends a lot of money behind my back as he left his email account logged in and i had a sneek peek. He even bought lots of stuff on my b'day for himself! When talking about what he buys, he obvi...
A. 6 February 2013: Frankly yours is a difficult position to be in. Apparently , you are having the concerns of a wife ( or maybe of a mom, as other posters have suggested ) , without having the status or the clout of one.
I am not implying that he does not like you ... (read in full...)
He re-arranged my furniture because his kids wanted it that way! They were guests, surely they should have left it alone?
Q. Please help. I have stayed over at boyfriends place before, when his two kids of 9 and 7 were visiting as well. (They live with their mum.) There were no real problems. He had some time off to look after them when they had a couple of days off ...
A. 6 February 2013: @ Serpico: that may be true, at least to some extent, but what's this got to do with basic manners and respect for other people's belongings ?
I have a son, and I guess ,all in all, is true that he was and is my emotional investment no.1 , befo... (read in full...)
What are his intentions? ignores me for several weeks, then sends a text.
Q. I dated this very good looking man for about 6 weeks. He texted me as soon as he woke up every day and we saw each other once or twice a week. Then we had a fight because I got jealous over his female friends and he put me in my place by clarifying ...
A. 6 February 2013: Probably he DOES better already, so nothing wrong with a nice, virginal hand job once in a while. It may even make for a restful change of pace. ... (read in full...)
My experience of an LDR has been flawed by his need for a FWB as well. I refused the latter. Can LDR partners stay faithful?
Q. can people mix up long distance friends with benefits relationship with a committed faithful long distance relationship meaning? I was in a long distance relationship and thought he was faithful for the year prior to my trip to meet him. He ke...
A. 6 February 2013: I am very skeptical about the viability of LDRs in general, they are fraught with problems objectively and it really takes a great love, a great effort and a great committment on both sides to carry them on successfully.
But, in your case, the ... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong? This girl looked so irritated when I looked at her
Q. I was walking down the hall at school and a girl was coming my way. At first i didn't notice her because I was looking down when I was walking, then I looked up and saw her looking at me and when I started looking back she looked away, like she didn...
A. 6 February 2013: Oh sure , God forbid you should smile at her. There's a fine for smiling at stubborn Spanish speaking Mexican girls, you know ? In fact , now that I think of it... you may even get community service, for unauthorized Spanish speaking smiling.
R... (read in full...)
Do I break my heart and never know? Or tell my crush my feelings for him on Valentine's day?
Q. I have been stuck with this for over a year and a half now. I have developed strong emotions towards a guyfriend I've known for nearly 10 years. Never thought itd turn out this way. I don't know if he shares those same feelings. I've always heard ...
A. 6 February 2013: No, not on Valentine's Day. It's too " loaded " . Imagine if he does not reciprocate your interest and has to reject you, - then he gets to be the guy who breaks a nice girl's heart on Valentine's Day. How uncomfortable. Poor guy. If he's your ... (read in full...)
What do we have together? He will not confirm if we are in a relationship.
Q. Hi cupids any chance of a little help?? Been seeing a guy for 5 months now, it’s been ok-ish. I've began to fall for him and I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing allowing myself to as he's so complicated. He’s got a lot going for him, he ...
A. 6 February 2013: You must be a patient type, I'd think that 6 months of quickies, naps and ..nothing much else would have bored to tears everybody.
In general, if it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck.... if he does not show enthusiasm and interest, it must... (read in full...)
I had a sneak-peek at his email. I found out he's buying things for himself on line he's not told me about. Why the secret?
Q. I've just found out that my boyfriend secretly spends a lot of money behind my back as he left his email account logged in and i had a sneek peek. He even bought lots of stuff on my b'day for himself! When talking about what he buys, he obvi...
A. 6 February 2013: Unwise it may be, but weird , why ? I'd say it's very common instead . All the Western society , at the end of the day, is based upon buying things you don't need with money you don't have. Why do you think they have invented credit cards for ?
H... (read in full...)
He re-arranged my furniture because his kids wanted it that way! They were guests, surely they should have left it alone?
Q. Please help. I have stayed over at boyfriends place before, when his two kids of 9 and 7 were visiting as well. (They live with their mum.) There were no real problems. He had some time off to look after them when they had a couple of days off ...
A. 6 February 2013: @ Chigirl, well, sure, put in these terms it's hard to contraddict you, - it's surely better to have a good relationship with a good guy who moves your furniture around than a bad relationship with a bad guy who does not touch anything.
N... (read in full...)
He re-arranged my furniture because his kids wanted it that way! They were guests, surely they should have left it alone?
Q. Please help. I have stayed over at boyfriends place before, when his two kids of 9 and 7 were visiting as well. (They live with their mum.) There were no real problems. He had some time off to look after them when they had a couple of days off ...
A. 5 February 2013: @Chigirl -perhaps yes, such an argument would cause more trouble. The focus of my answer was just on the OP's main question : They were guests, surely they should have left it alone ? To which, IMO the answer is : You bet that they should have ... (read in full...)
He re-arranged my furniture because his kids wanted it that way! They were guests, surely they should have left it alone?
Q. Please help. I have stayed over at boyfriends place before, when his two kids of 9 and 7 were visiting as well. (They live with their mum.) There were no real problems. He had some time off to look after them when they had a couple of days off ...
A. 5 February 2013: Yes, but it isn't the kids' fault, it's the dad's. I know well that when you've got kids you've got to be flexible ,don't sweat the small stuff and don't waste time in pointless arguments , but, it's not small stuff and there was NO room for ... (read in full...)
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