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... Send *. Grant a private message | | | *. Grant's profile:Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can. |
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We're confused about our new friendship with another couple... any insight?
Q. background: my wife and i met this couple at a restaurant few (2-3) months back. they have a 3-yr old daughter and ours is 4-yrs. over this time, we have seen each other (mostly couple w/kids dinners or get-togethers) about once every 2 weeks. apart ...
A. 27 November 2009: The really damning sign is that you thought there were things you couldn't relay to your wife. This a sign of trouble, pure and simple.
Be completely upfront with these people. When they say something that makes you uncomfortable, tell them. I... (read in full...)
Why do things always turn sour once you are married?
Q. why is it always like this? when a women and a man is on the relationship, no matter how long the relationship goes even its 5 or 10 years long or more they are most of the time always in good term. the sweetness, the cares, the dream, the love, ...
A. 27 November 2009: Partly it's due to unrealistic expectations. I think when my grandparents married, the idea was to be a team -- to have someone to help you through life. I don't think they expected it to be some idyllic thing where in 40 years you'd still be ... (read in full...)
Married, had an affair and now wondering if I was just looking through things with rose colored glasses on?
Q. I have been married for 27 years and we have three children, 17, 13, and 12. For several years my wife had been reluctant to engage in sex, and I had become increasingly frustrated, both physically and emotionally. At work I had got to know a g...
A. 26 November 2009: I may not have walked a mile in your shoes, but I've sure done a few steps. I completely understand the emotions you're feeling, having shared them.
Listen to your rational side. That's your gut check, and they're usually right.
Even if you h... (read in full...)
I want to protect my friend. Should I tell the school nurse about her (who just happens to be my mum!)
Q. Hey, just a 'quick' question. This one's not about me thank god. Basically, one of my friends got completely wasted and ended up losing her virginity at 14 a couple of days ago. I've been sworn to secrecy, but (always a but) I have a small problem ...
A. 25 November 2009: It sounds like your friend could really use some sensible adult input, so yes, it would be a good idea to let your mom in on what's going on. Friends look out for each other, even when they don't recognize that they need help.... (read in full...)
Is sex with my wife once or twice a week too much to ask?
Q. Is sex with my wife once or twice a week to much to ask? We used to have sex 4 or 5 times a a day then we got married and she just stopped wanting me and I don't understand what I did or if I don't look good anymore. We have only been married for a ...
A. 25 November 2009: The hard answer is, "get used to it."
You're a bit young and early into the relationship for twice-a-month to be usual. That's more what I'd expect for 10 years on. So you do need to talk. The 4 times a day thing is great, it's wonderfu... (read in full...)
My wife has no sex drive but loves me very much. I don't want to cheat but what can I do?
Q. I am bored with my wife. She has no sex drive and I don't know how to get her going. Every other part of our marriage is great. We get along great, in fact, we love each other very much. Everyone says how lucky we are to have each other but if they ...
A. 25 November 2009: Oh man, I hear you. You're in a very tough situation. If I'm reading your question right, it's been 14 months?? I completely understand your frustration.
OK, first, you were able to make a child, so at least at some point you were able to come ... (read in full...)
For the men out there: Does seeing images of half naked men make you feel insecure? How does it affect your self-esteem?
Q. For the guys only: A lot of women write on this site that thier significant other views porn and it makes them feel insecure as the porn stars are well endowed with fake boobs. In addition, the women write they are inundated by the media with i...
A. 23 November 2009: I've been around long enough to know there's always someone smarter, better looking, richer, whatever, than you are. If my wife were with me because of my looks, I'd have been single a very long time ago. ... (read in full...)
Second time around 38 years later
Q. I love this married woman. We were sweethearts as young teenagers. But trouble at home kept me at bay. I too was like one of the guys in a group. Gradually days without her turns into weeks then turns into months then years. 38 years have past....
A. 22 November 2009: Our first loves hold a special place in our hearts and memories. Usually as life goes on that first love remains as no more than a memory, as we go on to build lives with others.
That there hasn't been another lasting relationship in your lif... (read in full...)
If I take my ex to court..can I get sole custody of my daughter?
Q. my ex and i have been divorced for about 4years. our daughter is now 9. we have split custody but he hardly ever comes to see her, call her and hasnt got her annything for her bday xmas. Or helped with any of her school, personal expences, doctors, ...
A. 21 November 2009: I think as a general rule the courts are reluctant to award sole custody. However, you certainly have a case to make that he shouldn't have any parental rights. Talk to a lawyer who is experienced in this area --- professional advice at this point ... (read in full...)
Fifteen and I want a baby now! Mature advice needed.
Q. Please help. I'm quite mature, and I have support from my family and friends. I've always wanted a baby, since I have hit puberty, I think of what it would be like, and how hard it'd be but at the same time how wonderful it'd be. I know it costs a ...
A. 20 November 2009: When I was 15, I enjoyed the freedom to go out with friends as long as my homework was done. When I was 20, I was in university, and I thought it was very difficult to keep up with my studies, but there was still time to go to a movie with my ... (read in full...)
The sum of al fears... My obsession with relationship (sexual) past.
Q. I've been on this site, and a few others for a while. My question I guess is a combination of many questions, and I'm not totally sure where to begin. Let me start by saying that I love my girl. If I didn't then I wouldn't be worried about an...
A. 20 November 2009: OK, you love her, and you have a pretty good idea about the baggage. Usually replies to this sort of question come down to "she's with you now, so forget about her past." Personally I find that sort of answer a bit pat, and particularly when she's ... (read in full...)
My fiance thinks I'm crazy for feeling uncomfortable with his ex's presence at all family functions!
Q. My fiance and I are both divorced. His ex is very close with his family. His family feels obligated to invite her to every function because she has no family in the state and no friends. She has lived her over twenty years so go figure. I am ok ...
A. 19 November 2009: I can understand your discomfort. My initial reaction would be the same. And of course you know your husband's side of why they split, so that probably makes it more difficult.
On the other hand, when couples marry it's usual for one side of ... (read in full...)
Are these doubts to be expected when you are entering into a life-long comittment?
Q. I am engaged to a really great hardworking man, we are from different cultures which means there has been a lot of learning in the relationship about how we each do things, what’s expected of each other and so on, some of those expectations we ...
A. 19 November 2009: Doubts and cold feet are normal, and in fact good -- it's a sign that you take the commitment seriously.
I can see this going either way. You go ahead and get married, you settle in to the task of making a life together, and the little things t... (read in full...)
I have a great relationship with my boyfriend... but there's something missing...
Q. I have a sweet, loving boyfriend who worships me. He is trying to improve his life, it took a while, but in an effort to not lose me he started community college six months ago,is maintaining a steady job although it doesn't pay much, and has ...
A. 18 November 2009: Kiddo, you've already said it. You *have* big dreams. And you've already worked hard toward those dreams. What you need to do now is to find someone who shares those dreams, who, like you, has worked hard for them. That's the sort of person who ... (read in full...)
I need your advice... I'm in love with my first cousin...
Q. I'm in love with my first cousin but he lives far away from me, we talk alomost every night but i rarely see him, the problem is that we are only teens so we can't travel alone, I want him to visit me but its gonna be hard for him to do that as my ...
A. 18 November 2009: Don't tell your families how you feel. Just keep in contact the way you've been doing. Eventually there will be a family get-together. Then, when you're face to face, you can work out what you want to do.... (read in full...)
I'm in love... with a dead woman!!!
Q. Ok people...this might sound insane but i cant help it. About a year back i saw a picture of a girl and read her life story and i think i am falling over for her. I think i am in love... but the catch is... she died way back during the second ...
A. 18 November 2009: There are some photographs that are just so compelling that you can't let go. The Rita Hayworth pin-up from the 1940s that must have adorned a thousand GI lockers is one -- I saw that in "The Best of Life" magazine commemorative, and, well, Wow! ... (read in full...)
Smelling sweet... or not!
Q. This question may sound a bit stupid, but do women ever get paranoid of what they smell like down there? I don't smell or anything but when my boyfriend plays with me I get paranoid just in case I do, and even if I did would a boy tell you? I'm just ...
A. 18 November 2009: Satin is right on. As long as you're healthy and bathe reasonably often, there is nothing to worry about.
And some guys like it more earthy than others. Napoleon, when returning from a campaign, would send a message to Josephine: "ne lave pas... (read in full...)
I am depressed, my mom is an alcoholic and I fear losing my b/f!
Q. Hey there, This is a pretty hard topic to talk about and I dont really know where to stsart, i guess first things first is my mom is an alcholic and i really dont know how to handle it, i turned to smoke, then quit that cuz my bf helped me stop, an...
A. 17 November 2009: I strongly suggest you check out Al-anon/Alateen. It's an organization aimed at people like you, trying to deal with an alcoholic in your home:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/contact.html
Good luck.... (read in full...)
I don't think I'm having sex right! Please help!
Q. Okay my name is jake. im 14 years old and i had sex i think! i dont no if i did it right or not. i mean she didnt make a sound it felt good 4 me but she didnt even move... i kinda thought she was dead or asleep. what am i doing. i was wondering if ...
A. 16 November 2009: There are a couple of key reasons why a girl would react that way. Because you're not doing it right, and because she's not into it. What you're describing is a girl who is letting it be done to her. She may have consented, but for all the wron... (read in full...)
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