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... Send *. Grant a private message | | | *. Grant's profile:Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can. |
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He's trying to talk me into a threesome
Q. I need some advice on something girls an guys... me an my boyfriend been together for 3 years we have a 8 month old baby together and he has been asking me to have a 3 some with another girl! I don't what to do I feel it can ruin our relationship ...
A. 22 April 2010: He's feeding you nonsense, and doesn't seem to have any respect for the mother of his child. Don't do anything you don't want to, no matter how much he whines.... (read in full...)
Is it the right thing to do to warn a partner we might not look so great when naked?
Q. I think as we get older, we become a bit less selfish. But even though that is a good thing, it is a shame that we start to put on a bit of weight. Then when we strip naked before having sex, we have to warn the other person that we might not look ...
A. 21 April 2010: With stakes like that? N'uh uh, I'm not playing.... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend going on dating websites?
Q. Hi everyone, Ok, so I've found out since a week ago that my boyfriend has set up an adultfriendfinder account. We've been together for almost three years, and the thought of this ruining our relationship is heartbreaking.. But on the other hand, I ...
A. 21 April 2010: You shouldn't need to go through with the ruse. His being on the site is enough for you to turf him.... (read in full...)
Is it the right thing to do to warn a partner we might not look so great when naked?
Q. I think as we get older, we become a bit less selfish. But even though that is a good thing, it is a shame that we start to put on a bit of weight. Then when we strip naked before having sex, we have to warn the other person that we might not look ...
A. 21 April 2010: "If the survival of man were contingent on the way we look naked, we would have become extinct eons ago"
Thanks, Q, for that inspiring affirmation. ;)... (read in full...)
Am I a sick person???
Q. When I was around 12 years old I remember humping my little sister's legs a few times. She is 6 years younger than me, I remember one time she asked me to do it (she thought it was a game), realizing what I was doing was wrong and feeling ashamed I ...
A. 21 April 2010: Most people have things that they cringe over, memories of bad things from a great long time ago. Sometimes those memories take on a life of their own. Sounds like you've got one stuck in your head.
Society doesn't hold 12 year old people r... (read in full...)
Is my lack of desire to have sex and hold an erection all psychological?
Q. Hello there! I'm asking a man advice here... I'm in such a bad situation. So a few years ago, I lost my erection, now it looks like forever. It was in a middle of an intercourse with my wife. Suddenly it collapsed and since than I slowly lost all ...
A. 21 April 2010: The important thing here is that you went for a physical, and they checked for the usual culprits -- high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. That plus the fact that you get spontaneous erections says the problem is most likely not physical.
Now o... (read in full...)
Is my weight getting in the way of his pleasure?
Q. This might be a long story... Well my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 3 years and everything has gone great, theres only one problem... he works out all the time and is super skinny while i'm overweight... our sex life is always s...
A. 18 April 2010: So if you're worried about it, why don't you ask him to help? He's working out, join him at the gym and have him create a work-out plan for you. Sounds like you're more worried about it than he is.... (read in full...)
Is it bad to masturbate so much?
Q. I am 14 years old and i watch porno. i watch the type of porno that is called hentai or animations "mangas" because they usally have stories. everytime i watch it after im done i go and masturbate. i done it a lot lately. at least 3 times a day. is ...
A. 18 April 2010: There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. You're learning how your body works; that's just natural and appropriate.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to lose my virginity.
Q. I'm 20 years old and I am a virgin still. I know i shouldn't think so much of it but the only reason I still am one is because every time I've been presented with the opportunity to have sex i got scared that i wouldn't do good enough and backed ...
A. 18 April 2010: Be upfront and honest when the relationship has moved to the point where sex might be an option. If the girl has a problem with it, she's not the right one. But I really doubt that any girl you're open with will have an issue. More likely she'll ... (read in full...)
I'm 18, is it bad that I masterbate and watch porn daily?
Q. I am VERY young and I watch porn daily and masturbate. Is that bad?...
A. 18 April 2010: It's bad if it somehow gets in the way of real life. If it gets in the way of useful interaction with people in the real world, ya, it's a problem. If it's just using up your private time, no problem.... (read in full...)
Would you let your just-turned-16 year old daughter date a 19 year old guy?
Q. Answers from parents are especially appreciated! would you let your newly turned 16 year old daughter date a guy who turned 19 a few months ago? im scared to tell my mom because i havent even mentioned a word about him and we`ve been talking on ...
A. 17 April 2010: No, I wouldn't. Way too much changes in those three years. But I'd have had a problem with the 18 y.o. too. All you can do is talk to her.... (read in full...)
He's big -- is there anything we can do so it won't hurt?
Q. Hiya, me and my boyfriend are sexually activee butt we measured his penis at it is 10 inches so it hurts is there anyway i can prevent it from hurting??...
A. 16 April 2010: You might stick to positions where you control the depth of penetration. So cowgirl rather than missionary, for example.... (read in full...)
My bits don't look like the girls in porn.
Q. So any help fr guys would be apreciated, basically. As embarasing as it is my vagina isn't like the ones I've seen in certain porn videos! It's got tight small outer lips everything is good except on my right side one of the inner lips sticks out ...
A. 15 April 2010: What I always tell people when this question comes up is this. If the guy is fortunate enough to be close enough to see what you're talking about, there's too little blood near his brain for him to notice or care. Don't worry about it.... (read in full...)
Is the anniversary of your first date important?
Q. So I was talking to my sister earlier and the conversation went pretty much like this... Me: I've been with *girlfriend* for 5 years soon. Sister: When's soon? Me: May... ish. Sister: *rant that can be summed up with 'how can you not know when ...
A. 15 April 2010: December 22, 1982. Ya, we probably recognized it while we were dating, but stuff kind of happened later that eclipsed it. Like getting engaged, getting married, the birth of our first, then second, then third children. For quite a few years we ... (read in full...)
First kiss left me feeling molested!
Q. I have a question about my first kiss. It happened some years ago. Here's some backstory: I'd met this girl in ychat, and we just started talking. Turns out we had a lot in common. We hit it off. We arranged a meeting. Anyway, that night(H...
A. 14 April 2010: It's not at all unreasonable for you to feel that way. Kissing done well can be remarkably intimate. And with anything intimate, you want it be be 'right' - you want it to be with someone you care about, you want the circumstances to be ... (read in full...)
I was almost raped by my ex should I tell my new boyfriend?
Q. *OP's own title* Ok. I'm not sure how to do or say this. It's too hard for me to even talk about it. Writing it I think I'm ok. A year ago I was in a relationship with a guy a year and a half older than me. Kissing was as far as we'd ever went befo...
A. 14 April 2010: No, don't tell him, and make it *very* clear to Shelly that she should keep her mouth shut, too. Ya, you probably want to avoid secrets when you're married. When you're 15 and dating, there absolutely should be secrets. The very fact that ... (read in full...)
Friend has an abusive boyfriend
Q. hi, my best friend has an abusive bf and i dont know what to do to help her. she has bruises up her arm, down her leg, on the stomch and boob because of him. though she says its not his fault, its his ADHD thats doing it and the fact that she 'winds ...
A. 13 April 2010: Please tell someone. Regardless of what affliction he might have, nothing excuses his behaviour. I had a cousin who ended up in the hospital with serious injuries because of a "boyfriend" -- had there not been intervention, I'm quite sure she ... (read in full...)
About to get married, but now there's a pregnant girl in the midst
Q. I met my Fiance when i was 13 yrs old and we dated on and off for 7 to 8 yrs but were getting married next july....i looked on his facebook just to tell him i miss him because i live 20 exits away from him. And i see girls asking him how's his new ...
A. 13 April 2010: It's not the childhood romance you envisioned. Call it off.... (read in full...)
My fiancé cheated and lied about it til after we got engaged
Q. My fiancé cheated on me about 8 months ago. I found out though a text message and she initially denied it but after 15 minutes she admitted to kissing this guy. I took a short break to think and I forgave her because she just kissed him. We have ...
A. 13 April 2010: You've been dating 5 years; she tested negative last year. I think you have all the information you need.... (read in full...)
Cheated on my bf with his brother! What should I do?
Q. Recently I cheated on my boyfriend. I gave his brother a blow job and have had sex with his brother at least 10 times since. I feel really bad because I like both of them but I don't want to tell my boyfriend what should I do....
A. 13 April 2010: If the situation were reversed -- if he'd had sex with your sister 10 times, would you want to know? Would you still want to be with him? Would you want to know?... (read in full...)
How do I heal from my Mother's horrible abuse? Please help!
Q. Dear cupid...please help me...I was emotionally and sort of physically abused by my mother when I was a teenager...my mother left my family when I was about 9 years old. I went to live with her again when I was about 14. Before that, except for when ...
A. 13 April 2010: Kiddo, we all are exposed in our culture to the idea that our mothers are some kind of ideal. It's in TV shows and whatever. Nothing in our culture prepares us for the person who is wholly unsuited to being a mother. And yet they're out there, as ... (read in full...)
Passing gas
Q. is it awkward to fart in front of your boyfriend? Does it turn them off?...
A. 12 April 2010: Yes, it's a turn off.... (read in full...)
Childhood stalker is claiming I am her daughters father - but I am not!
Q. I think I have an original story. I was 19 and away at college. When I came home for the summer my dad took me over to his friends house. I went to school with his kids. We all took the bus together. I was friends with his son who was one ...
A. 12 April 2010: Wow -- that's quite the story! You're right -- I don't think I've seen that one come up here before.
Your wife should be reassured that the girl refuses DNA testing. It's hardly invasive -- a Q-tip run around your gums. So it's because they don... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is ready for sex but I am too scared and nervous
Q. Hey okay im 17 and in all honesty i am fairly new in the whole dating and sex game and my boyfriend whom im been with for a year already want to have sex....problem is i don't because Im nervous and scared as all hell.....what do i do??? HELP!!!!...
A. 11 April 2010: If you're nervous and scared as hell, then it is simply *not* right for you to do it. Which means you say NO. And keep saying no. And if he pressures you regardless, you break up with him.
It's a big deal, and it has to feel right. And that... (read in full...)
He still lives with his parents -- should I wait for him to grow up?
Q. I am 29 and have two kids both boys. I am seeing a guy who is 23 and still lives with his mom and dad. We want to be together but his family doesn't want us to be. He says he has to obey his parents. Which if he was a child I would understand but he ...
A. 11 April 2010: Move on. It's incredibly difficult to enter a relationship when young children are involved. You need a far more mature man to handle it.... (read in full...)
He asked me to move to him and now he's making my life hell! Help!
Q. Ok I met my boyfriend of two years in London.. we moved in together.. He got stomach problems, couldn't digest his food properly, I asked him to go the doctors in London but wouldn't go cause didn't trust them cause they wasn't Italian, it became ...
A. 11 April 2010: Get yourself away from him, as soon as you can, and forever. You clearly have a lot going for you. You can't save him, and as long as you're near him he will poison you. Leave.... (read in full...)
If I commit now, do I chain my free spirit?
Q. Ok so I'm very unlucky when it comes to my love life. I have a very free spirit and I like to be free. I've been dating this guy for eight months now and I'm so confused. Everything seemed so perfect until today. I looks back in all the happy times ...
A. 11 April 2010: When you're 16 you should be flying with the wind. You should be exploring your free spirit, learning about yourself, and revelling in the freedom that comes with life without commitments. This is the time to be doing it -- this is the one part of ... (read in full...)
He wants to try anal.
Q. My bf wants to try anal sex.I kinda want to but I am scard it will hurt . any advice...
A. 11 April 2010: First off, you should only consent to things *you* want. Don't let him pressure you. I know anal has become mainstream in porn, but in the real world it's not for everyone.
Second, there have been tons of questions about it here, and some rea... (read in full...)
I opened up a little book of hers and started reading about her past...
Q. I am 18 years old and i met the most amazing girl about 7 months ago. About 2 months into our relationship we decided to have a child together, our parents know and we have talked it through. However she has been sexually promiscuous in the past ...
A. 9 April 2010: I think that bringing a child into this world with her would be a terrible disservice to the child. ... (read in full...)
Why is he so hard on me? It is not my fault my tax refund has not come.
Q. This may seem like a really stupid scenerio but here goes.... This has been going on for months. Im in a long distance relationship for several years. I am a single mom and I lost my job back in december of 09. I have been struggling for m...
A. 9 April 2010: My thought is that he's waaay too interested in your getting money. Sound like a red flag.... (read in full...)
My whole family saw our sex tapes!!!
Q. My gf and I have been together for 3 years, she is 18 and I am 20. A few weeks ago we made a sex tape with my web cam and downloaded it to my computer. I thougth I put it in a folder that was private and needed a password to open. Monday we left to ...
A. 9 April 2010: I meant to add this in my earlier response -- perhaps it might have some value as you discuss things with your father.
I was 20 or 21, living at home, and my g/f and I were making out in the basement (which was understood to be my 'space')... (read in full...)
I'm too nervous to keep my erection?
Q. Hi- First of all this website is very helpful and I'd like to thank all the people who give such thoughtful answers. Okay, here's my problem. I can't get actually hard or keep an erection around my girlfriend. We've been together for 5 months n...
A. 9 April 2010: Have you had an intimate relationship before this one? Or is the physical aspect new to you? How quickly did things move along in this relationship?
My teen experience boiled down to two particular relationships. In the first, we took time to ... (read in full...)
My whole family saw our sex tapes!!!
Q. My gf and I have been together for 3 years, she is 18 and I am 20. A few weeks ago we made a sex tape with my web cam and downloaded it to my computer. I thougth I put it in a folder that was private and needed a password to open. Monday we left to ...
A. 8 April 2010: All you can do is take responsibility for your actions. You're both consenting adults. You haven't done anything illegal (although how smart it was is another question altogether). If they've given you a room to share it's a pretty safe bet they ... (read in full...)
Agony aunts forever!
Q. I was wondering how I can get paid to become an agony aunt, I love helping others and answering questions, its one of my passions. thankyhuu x...
A. 8 April 2010: If you find out, let me know. ;)... (read in full...)
I love my best friend more than I like my own boyfriend.
Q. First off, I'd like to note that I have a boyfriend of my own. And have never admitted to being anything other than straight - since well I thought that's all I was. My best friend and I have been best friends for almost 2 years now. We spend lo...
A. 8 April 2010: EmilyBee: I did say that I was leading with my double-standard :)
Yes, I'd give the same advice to a guy who'd had a similar same-sex encounter. I know, I know -- it is cheating. But the OP is a teenager who hasn't made vows, hasn't made a l... (read in full...)
Do people often record themselves having sex?
Q. My boyfriend and i were talking about trying new things in the bedroom. He brought up how he wants to film me giving him a blowjob. He then said, but thats a bit personal, i dont expect you to do it but id love to watch it over and over. Iam think...
A. 8 April 2010: Yes, people film themselves often. There are thousands of such clips on the internet -- some that they posted themselves, and some that they didn't. See Hilton, Paris.... (read in full...)
I'm finding it hard to belive I might be pregnant
Q. hi im 1 week and 4 days late on my period. today i took a pregnancy test and it came out positive straight away, two dark pink lines. i went to the docs and got a midwife appointment. does this actually mean im pregnant? im finding it hard to be...
A. 8 April 2010: Store-bought pregnancy tests are not necessarily as accurate as those ordered by a doctor and performed at a laboratory. Did your doctor order a test? Or is he leaving that to the midwife? If the appointment with the midwife is more than a few ... (read in full...)
I love my best friend more than I like my own boyfriend.
Q. First off, I'd like to note that I have a boyfriend of my own. And have never admitted to being anything other than straight - since well I thought that's all I was. My best friend and I have been best friends for almost 2 years now. We spend lo...
A. 8 April 2010: The correct answer is probably that you should be courageous, stand up to the ignorant bias of people around you, and walk proudly.
The reality is that we aren't all courageous; you don't yet know if this was a one-time fling, if you're really b... (read in full...)
Embarrassing moment from my past--afraid this guy on facebook will spill it!
Q. Embarrassing moment - This is not a cry for help - just wanting to know how to get over an embarrassing moment and avoid being a laughing stock. The thing is - when I was a teenager (a few years ago now) teenagers were'nt as aware of things as they ...
A. 8 April 2010: You know, I went on a first date with a girl 30 years ago. Middle of winter. And discovered she didn't shave her armpits in the winter. OK, I was 18 and a bit put off. But I would never mention it to anyone now. It would make *me* look like an ... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to hate my brother even though I don't remember what he did to me?
Q. Hey well im 15. But when i was 2 from 3 years old my older half brother molested me he was 12 threw 13 at the time i think. I dont remaber it at all. I only know what my mom said. He thought they were next door but my mom wasnt an she cought him in ...
A. 7 April 2010: I'm not sure how it benefits you to hate him. As the other answer mentions if he today is someone you would consider 'bad news', then be wary of him by all means.
You're going to have all sorts of situations in life where someone does you wron... (read in full...)
Will cleaning up after sex lessen your chances of getting pregnant?
Q. Hi my boyfriend and I are trying for a baby. We have been living toether for 2 years and r financialy ready. My sister had problem concieving so I am afraid this will happen to me to as I no many women who have miscarried lately. Anyway my question ...
A. 6 April 2010: If you're seriously trying to conceive, then you don't want anything dripping out. Get some pillows and prop your midsection up for an hour after intercourse so that gravity help the swimmers.... (read in full...)
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