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... Send *. Grant a private message | | | *. Grant's profile:Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can. |
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I'm terrified for my friend who is being deployed to Afghanistan!
Q. This isn't a relationship question but i feel like i really could do with some help. For the past few months i've been thinking about death, yes death, the reason this came about is because a friend, who's in the army, is being deployed to afgh...
A. 31 October 2010: The U.K. has between 9,000 and 10,000 troops in Afghanistan at a given time. To date in 2010 96 have died. Since 2001 341 British soldiers have died there. So yes, 1% give or take is the risk this year.... (read in full...)
Do all women scream at their husband when they are in labor?
Q. I need some good advice from the women out there who are mothers. My wife and I are pregnant. In all the movies you see, when the woman is in labor she is yelling at the father, scratching him, telling him it's all his fault, etc, etc. I am just...
A. 31 October 2010: I was there for all three deliveries. No, she isn't exactly looking at you with lust in her eyes just then, but no, as the women responders said, she has more pressing issues than blaming you for the situation. We did go through the classes, but ... (read in full...)
Mistress is threating to tell my wife about us
Q. I feel like I'm about to lose the best thing that ever happened for me behind ignorance. I know everyone's probably going to say I deserve it and I probably due but no one's perfect. I told my mistress that we needed to sto and she's threatening to ...
A. 31 October 2010: Leaving judgment aside, the only sure way to deal with blackmail is to reveal the secret yourself. If you want to end it with your mistress and to do so on something approaching your own terms, you have to tell your wife everything. That's the ... (read in full...)
He calls me horrible names
Q. hey guys im kind of new at this thing but i really need an outside perspective. me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year and half now. when he gets mad at me he calls me some horrible names ex:lard ass,bitch,exc.. and it makes me ...
A. 30 October 2010: Well said, Caring Guy, well said indeed.... (read in full...)
How do I keep myself from making bad decisions?
Q. I have problems. Problems that most teenage girls don't have. As weird as this is to tell people, I'm a frequent masturbater and I have been for years. While that might be sort of normal, I just started having sex a few weeks ago. I'm 19 and have an ...
A. 26 October 2010: What, really, are you asking? It kinda sounds like you're asking whether it's OK to just go find someone else to screw. You know that's not the right thing. Get real, girl, everyone goes through dry times when we can't get what we want. If you ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend, and want to propose to her, but now I'm having doubts
Q. Hi all, I am madly in love with my girlfriend, I'll call Tracy, of nearly two years. I've been wanting to propose to her (she knows this), but lately, her actions have been giving me doubts. In a nutshell, I think she's is obsessed with th...
A. 26 October 2010: You're being given warning signs up the yazoo. Are you going to be able to give her a wedding that will meet her expectations? If her expectations for the wedding are so high maintenance, what about life afterward? Frankly I'd run the other way ... (read in full...)
I feel used after sex
Q. Okay well I'm 14 and me and my friend are "talking" to these two guys who are best friends and my guy who is 16 lives with my friends guy who is 15. Well we are having sex on and off and I give my guy blowjobs all the time. Well after we have sex he ...
A. 26 October 2010: Hon, a teenage guy simply is not prepared to commit. He's grateful for what you've done for him, but that's all it is. And frankly he's afraid of the commitment that what you've done implies. He's not going to commit to a relationship, but he'll ... (read in full...)
Partner needs to come to terms with my past abuse
Q. i was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for approx 4 yrs and i now have a 2yr old daughter as a result of this, i have left her father and about 5 months ago i met a guy 4 yrs younger than i and it has been fantastic!! however, my ...
A. 26 October 2010: You have gone through something very difficult, something that, mercifully, few people have had to endure. So your boyfriend doesn't have any reference points -- to him it's all cut and dried; you should have run at the first signs. Very few men ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I smell normal "down there"?
Q. Hi all, you must get this question all the time... sorry... Ok here goes... how do I know if I smell normal down below?! After a day not showering it smells like... scampi fries... sorry... also a bit tangy. Now is this normal? It's not hugely o...
A. 24 October 2010: Sounds normal to me. Everyone's a bit different, of course, but you're not describing anything I haven't come across.
If you are healthy and have good hygiene you shouldn't have anything to worry about.... (read in full...)
Is masturbation bad???
Q. I've been looking at some of the things on here and suprisingly loads of people my age masturbate, yet all guys I know do but only a few girls do... why do you think this is coz most of them say its dirty and they just wouldn't because its wrong. ...
A. 23 October 2010: There's an unspoken attitude in society that masturbation is wrong, immoral, dirty, indulgent, depraved ... you get the idea. As such, people are inclined to lie and say they don't do it, even if they do. And it really is a very private thing, ... (read in full...)
Sad about leaving the house I grew up in. Please help me!!!
Q. We are selling our house because we can no longer afford it. I just found out that someone made an offer on the house. Now I have no clue if I should be upset because it will be weird because someone else will be living in the house I grew up in. ...
A. 22 October 2010: I know exactly what you mean. Same thing happened to me -- we lost our house because my Dad defaulted on the mortgage. It was incredibly sad to see the 'for sale' sign on the lawn.
But it all worked out for the best. We moved into an apartmen... (read in full...)
How can a real girl ever be enough for a man?
Q. How can a real girl ever be enough for a man? I mean, I have talked with many guys my age, and they have all agreed when I asked them whether a porn star has a hotter or better body than a normal girl, they have all said yes! The typical porn star ...
A. 13 October 2010: The girl who is the hottest is the one who is willing to get naked with me in the real world. Period.... (read in full...)
Do I really smell ok down there, or is he just saying that?
Q. My bf gives me oral quite a lot. And I always apologise if it's not fresh down there. But he always always "It's fine, don't worry" and continues about his business. Does he really think that or does he just do it not to offend me?...
A. 13 October 2010: A tidbit from history -- When Napoleon was returning home from a campaign, when he was two or three days away from Paris he'd send Josephine a note: Don't bathe.
A girl who's healthy and whose general hygiene is good has nothing to worry about. ... (read in full...)
Raised my stepdaughter as my real child up until I caught her having sex
Q. I am 44 and have been happily married for 10 years. I have no children of my own, but my wife has a daughter from a previous marriage. I love her to death and raised her as my own since she was 6 years old. She is now 16, turning 17 in 2 months ...
A. 13 October 2010: You accepted the role as this child's parent. That brings with it a number of obligations, some of which can't be foreseen.
Your daughter does not and cannot know what's going on in your head (nor should she, EVER). What she sees is her fath... (read in full...)
Why do you answer to these questions?
Q. I just want to know something, why do you guys answer to these people? what do you plan to get out of it? do you think "God" will reimburse you for your efforts and "love"? do you feel better by helping others you don't know? I really don't see any ...
A. 12 October 2010: You've never needed a helping hand, eh? You're lucky. Some people do, and once in a while folks answering questions here do make a difference. I rather doubt that God is planning to reimburse me. But if it does help my karma, so be it.... (read in full...)
I want to stop my daughter from making a big mistake!
Q. My 20 yr old daughter is making the biggest mistake of her life, I know that everyone says kids need to learn by their mistakes and I totally agree but not when it can ruin their future. 5 months ago she came home and told us that she was dating a...
A. 8 October 2010: My dad left my mom for a younger woman. The woman's father did not approve, and refused to meet my father until the divorce was final. You could tell your daughter that you'll have nothing to do with the guy until he's divorced. Perhaps taking a ... (read in full...)
Unhappily Married
Q. I am an alcoholic/addict who has been married for 9 years. I currently have 1 year clean and sober. I can't seem to enjoy my family. I am miserable once I walk through the door. Why????? ...
A. 6 October 2010: You haven't given us very much to go on, so this is guesswork. You were in the active phase of your addiction during the first eight years of your married life. That likely interfered with your relationships with your family. Perhaps you weren't ... (read in full...)
How do I win back the hearts of my daughters after our traumatic past, involving my ex wife (their mother) having an affair with my father?
Q. Hi: I am sixty-on years old and have been happily married to my second wife for thirty-five years now. I have had three children from my second wife (two boys and one girl). My profession during my career was engineering; however, because...
A. 6 October 2010: I'm not sure I have much by the way of advice -- I found your story engaging and more than anything I just wanted to thank you for sharing it.
There are all sorts of comments I could make about your father and your first wife, but they're not the ... (read in full...)
Why wont my husband perform oral sex on me?
Q. I have been married to my husband for 11 years now and I am very hurt by the fact he will not perform oral sex on me I give him bjs all the time but he won't ever return the favor. I desire it so much that I often think about cheating to get oral ...
A. 5 October 2010: The question is whether his problem is personal or cultural.
There are some cultures where cunnilingus is simply off limits. If you ever watched the TV show The Sopranos, a man doing that was somehow less than a man. No, I don't get it either, ... (read in full...)
Pre cum problem...
Q. i seem to have a problem. when i am with my girlfriend and we are getting horny etc.... when i get an erection i get a lot of pre cum. I dont like this at all, when she is going to go down my trousers, i have to stop her and get my penis out myself ...
A. 5 October 2010: Hey, if she has a problem with it, then she (and you) are too young to be getting in to the situation. Pre-cum is a normal and natural part of the process. ... (read in full...)
I want to masturbate with my friend
Q. I know my friend masturbates and I want to masterbate with her but I don't know how to ask....
A. 5 October 2010: You don't know how to ask because something tells you you shouldn't. Masturbation is a private thing. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's not something you share. Your friend will most likely get creeped out if you bring it up. So don't.... (read in full...)
What can I do to fix this? My husband refuses to get any outside help!
Q. My husband and I have been together for almost 3 years, and married for the past 4 months. Our relationship has been a not so normal one, we got engaged after 4 months of being together. He always wanted a family and never had a chance to have one, ...
A. 5 October 2010: Oh, I agree -- his actions contributed, no doubt about it. If he wasn't prepared to show you affection, he should have asked himself if he was really ready to get married, should have asked himself if he was being fair to you; he owed you an ... (read in full...)
What can I do to fix this? My husband refuses to get any outside help!
Q. My husband and I have been together for almost 3 years, and married for the past 4 months. Our relationship has been a not so normal one, we got engaged after 4 months of being together. He always wanted a family and never had a chance to have one, ...
A. 4 October 2010: I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation.
The only thing I can suggest is to search for a satisfactory answer to "why?" It's easy to say "I don't know", but as you've already learned, that's not helping him. X met a need, or you woul... (read in full...)
Should I keep him sweet in order to get my inheritence?
Q. Hey, I don't know my biological father... After many years, I have recently been emailing with his sister, and she hasnt mentioned him at all and neither have I. He has never shown any interest at all, and has a new family. I of course, have my ...
A. 4 October 2010: Maintain contact only if you enjoy doing so. The chances of you inheriting anything sound vanishingly small.... (read in full...)
Fiance killed in war, I'm only living for our unborn child
Q. My fiancé and I had been together for what would've been six years in November; since we were 15. While he was on leave from the Air Force, he proposed five months ago and we set the date for 11/11/11. Which, coincidentally, would have been our ...
A. 3 October 2010: Hon, what's growing inside of you is part of him. The child is an expression of the love you two had together. Everything you're thinking and feeling right now -- the loss, the resentment -- that's normal and natural. I'm sure it's no consolation ... (read in full...)
What does "this week is shot for me" mean?
Q. Meaning of the phrase "this week is shot for me!" Does anyone know what is meant when someone says "This week is shot for me!" Is it used often? I have never heard the phrase before and wonder if it is some type of an English idiom. I got...
A. 2 October 2010: It means that their schedule is fully booked for the week.... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to have sex in a brothel
Q. My husband of 8 months wants to take me to Los Vegas to have sex at a BROTHEL. I am not sure why he stated that during sex. There is nothing I have said or done to make him think I am into threesomes. He brought this up during sex which now makes ...
A. 2 October 2010: You've said he's older, so that could be 'mid-life crisis' talking, although since you're in a relatively new relationship that should have taken some of the edge off.
Did you know about this before you married? When did his ex tell you about th... (read in full...)
Too many choices, I don't know what to do~
Q. Ok. So my situation is complicated. My girlfriend I've been dating for about a month now broke up with me because we lived so far away, went to different schools, and barely got to be together. Well we still both have feelings for each other, and we ...
A. 2 October 2010: Let's start with your ex. You guys broke up for a valid reason. As long as distance is in the way, things aren't likely to work out. And she broke up with you. Waiting for her doesn't sound all that sensible, does it? You should consider ... (read in full...)
I'm having second thoughts about marriage.....
Q. Is it normal to have some second thoughts while planning a wedding? I am smitten with my girl, and have been in love for almost a year now. We have talked about marriage openly and longingly, but now that we are actually planning it, I find myself ...
A. 1 October 2010: Oh ya, pre-wedding jitters are normal. I remember standing in front of the mailbox with all the invitations in my hand thinking "this is your *last* chance, buddy." Sometimes you just have to take the plunge. :)... (read in full...)
Do guys get surprised when the see what the breasts are shaped like without the bra?
Q. Are you ready for a nontraditional question? Do guys get pleasantly/nonpleasantly surprised (you decide) when the bras come off their girlfriends? Girls wear all sorts of push up bras, lifting bras etc. that I'm curious if guys get surprise...
A. 30 September 2010: Only once were they different enough from what the bra advertised that it was disappointing. In general, any time the bra comes off is a good time. ;)... (read in full...)
My ex is really starting to creep me out
Q. not so long ago i wrote about not being able to broke up with my boyfriend because he wouldn't let me, he would start crying and begging and that broke my heart and made me unable to do it. then a week or two ago i finally did it. But now i have a ...
A. 30 September 2010: You should look into a restraining order. That might finally get his attention. Do you have any large (i.e. intimidating) male relatives or friends who could pay him a visit and tell him to back off?... (read in full...)
Is it normal for 13 years old to want to have sex?
Q. I'm 13 years-old and my boyfriend is 13 too this weekend my boyfriend want's me to give him a hand job and a blow job , is it normoal for kid;s our age wannaing to do that ??? Thanks i hope some one can help me with my Question xx ...
A. 30 September 2010: It's perfectly normal to *want* it -- there are some seriously raging hormones happening, after all. It's not a good idea to *do* it. Your body is ready for sex before your emotions are, and before you're able to cope with the consequences. He's ... (read in full...)
What would you do if someone you met for the first time smells funny?
Q. Lets just say you are going to meet someone for the first time (woman/man) and as soon as she/he gets in the car she/he smells like onions better yet bummy.what would be your first reaction? And how would you approach her/him? Lol :)...
A. 30 September 2010: Uh, no LOL there I'm afraid. If you're into hygiene and they aren't there isn't a future, right? Get out of the first date as soon as politely possible, and block their number.... (read in full...)
He wants me to talk during sex?
Q. My boyfriend often asks me to tell him naughty stories when we're having sex. Is the fact we're having sex not good enough for him? I don't require him to speak. Plus I find it really hard. I just want to enjoy it not have to speak and think. ...
A. 30 September 2010: Then you have to tell him what works for you, and more particularly what *doesn't* work for you. He may have ideas from a previous partner, or from watching porn. You have to make it clear to him that this isn't on, it doesn't do anything for you, ... (read in full...)
How do I get the spark back into our marriage? she wants a seperation!
Q. My wife and I have known each other for 17 years. We were together for 13 years; married for 11 years. We have five kids together; our oldest is 10. Very recently (six days ago), she sat me down for a private dinner while the kids were in various ...
A. 30 September 2010: The most charitable thing I can say is that she's whacking you over the head.
You're both working and you have five children 10 and under. That is a holy cow difficult situation to be in. All of your children are at ages where they need an inten... (read in full...)
Know any good quotations?
Q. Hello I am giving my girlfriend a gift because she is an up and coming writer. I wanted to ask does anyone know of any good quotes to motivate her that I could include in this gift about writing, creative writing or writers? Any inspirational qu...
A. 29 September 2010: "Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of — but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards."
R.A. Heinlein.... (read in full...)
I am an idiot!!!!
Q. I am currently engaged to a beautiful woman with 2 kids, the story is as follows. Beautiful woman was with self centered and controlling man that liked to see her bang other guys, she did not like this went though 10 years of this to stay married....
A. 28 September 2010: Having a conversation about how to make things better sounds like the sensible, adult thing to do (I'm assuming your age is wrong). The fact is that, however impulsive it was, you made a commitment to her and to her kids. Backing out because ... (read in full...)
My heart is smashed into a million little pieces...
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks ago, my heart has literally been smashed into a million tiny pieces and it hurts so much. It hurts this much mainly because it was a sudden breakup and that I wasn't expecting it. What's even worse is ...
A. 28 September 2010: You're not alone, man, I've been there. No, she probably wasn't lying the whole time, just at the end. She's decided to take care of herself, and you should too. Get your buds together, shoot some pool and have some beer. Dwelling on her ain't ... (read in full...)
Relationship with a third cousin.....
Q. can you have kids with your third cousin? is it alright to date your third cousin?...
A. 28 September 2010: That's a pretty distant relation. I would think that lots of people wouldn't even be able to identify a third cousin. It's no problem.... (read in full...)
Labor and birth stories?
Q. So, I'm pregnant for the very first time and I was wondering if any of you lovely aunts would feel like sharing your labour and birth stories? I would very much like to know as much as I can about other peoples experiences so I have a good idea on ...
A. 26 September 2010: I was there for the birth of each of our three children. It was remarkably difficult to be there and be useless as my wife was going through an intensely painful time. For the first two we were in a hospital that didn't seem all that keen on pain ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend died 2 months ago and I cry every night
Q. My boyfriend died about 2 months ago. I have had terrible relationships before he came along. he treated me like I was literally a princess and the only one in this world. I know it has just been a little over 2 months but I still cry every night. I ...
A. 26 September 2010: I'm so sorry that you're going through such an awful time. Yes, it's perfectly normal. Everyone grieves in different ways, and no one can say that there's a "right" amount of time.
Talk to someone who will give you a sympathetic ear -- a parent... (read in full...)
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