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*unty Babbit agony aunt

*unty Babbit

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*unty Babbit's profile:

I was a nurse and midwife for 20 years, I am a mother of 2 children and have a stepchild. All are now adults OMG!

I am very happily married, second time round.

My husband has suffered depression (not caused by me lol) and we have luckily come through that.

I have often mediated for friends during breakups and am regularly asked for advice on all things in general.

I have a lot of friends and when I'm not working (in bereavement)I write my own books of poetry for children and illustrate them as well

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How can I avoid so much conflict in my relationship and be happier?

Q.   I have been with my(27) bf (29) for 6 years. Recently things have been quite intense because of lockdown and I feel like we keep falling into certain arguments. My bf is funny and can be sweet and we have a lot in common. However, he struggle...

A.   9 September 2020: I think it's important to work at a relationship if things go wrong but it seems to me that this was never right in the first place. No relationship should be this much work. In my opinion, a partner is someone who holds you up, they support... (read in full...)

How do we cope with this? My dad kicked out my mom to move in his younger gay lover

Q.   Life in quarantine has been tough recently; Dad split up from Mom (and she's heartbroken about it) and Mom moved in with me and my partner of 3 years. He broke up with Mom for a younger illegal immigrant from the U.S. (the guy's only 24, that's year ...

A.   6 September 2020: You need to speak to your Dad. If your father has decided to embrace a new partner and end things with your mother then that's his decision but it's not fair or acceptable for him to be sending unkind messages to you about your mum. It's beyond i... (read in full...)

How should I leave things with him when I say goodbye to my crush?

Q.   Hi Cupid I would like some advice regarding a guy. I developed a crush on a personal trainer at my local gym. I don’t know how it all started but I attended a lot of exercise classes and he would teach these classes. I found myself naturally...

A.   6 September 2020: In my experience, most personal trainers in gyms are always flirtatious with their clients, it keeps the clients coming back. You say he asked out another gym member and they started a relationship. Think about this for a moment, why didn't he ask ... (read in full...)

Husband went to a dominatrix should I just let him do his thing?

Q.   I found messages on my husbands phone from a dominatrix he been to see. He had told me that he to attend a training course but was actually with this dominatrix for 3 entire days. He claims not to have had sex but instead was dressed as a woman and ...

A.   6 September 2020: There are a few issues here. 1) Why did you check your husband's phone? It seems there may already be a trust issue. 2) Your husband has lied to you. 3) Your husband has spent a considerable amount of money without consulting you (unless you ... (read in full...)

He thinks it's okay to keep things from me, and I am struggling to trust him!

Q.   I am at my wit's end! My boyfriend blames me for the disagreement we are now having. He says I am paranoid and don't trust him and he acts passive aggressive, dismissing all my feelings and then later cutting off all conversation with me. I have ...

A.   5 September 2020: Oh my! You're not going to like my answer but I speak the truth and that can be hard to hear. Just for one moment step back and take a breath. You say you're investigating him but I want to know why. What has made you so distrustful of him? And... (read in full...)

My wife has me mostly under house arrest after discovery of the affair but the mistress is upset I can't see her. How can I fix this?

Q.   Long story short. My wife found out about my affair. I had no choice but to come clean. Since then I've been working on my marriage and I rarely see my mistress although we do talk everyday. I saw her a couple of weeks ago and we had sex. I'm still ...

A.   4 September 2020: You say you're working on your marriage but how? You're continuing the affair. You speak to your mistress every day and saw her two weeks ago and had sex. You say you can't let your mistress go, there's something about her. You say you're not s... (read in full...)

Cannot cum during sex with my bf

Q.   So I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of months now and we’ve started getting intimate. We’ve both been tested for STIs before we even took our clothes off- not that we don’t trust each other, but better safe than sorry. Needless to say we’ve ...

A.   4 September 2020: I think this problem is a psychological one, I think Aunty Honeypies's suggestion of trying penetration with condoms first is an excellent one. If that works then you can move forward as and when you're ready too. If you're still having problems... (read in full...)

I want to both be with him and also be like him my crush of 12 years

Q.   I've had a crush on a guy for about 12 years possibly 13. We went to school together and while we weren't exactly friends I had a tough time at school being bullied and he was always nice to me. We were in a lot of the same classes for a wh...

A.   4 September 2020: This guy is a fantasy and a lovely one at that, but that's all he is. You've already said he's almost certainly straight so this daydream certainly isn't going any further is it? You had a rough time at school and he was a friend so that r... (read in full...)

I know I need to end things with my boyfriend but so much is going on now. Do I wait?

Q.   My boyfriend got really drunk on Friday. We were out. He drank way too much, too fast. He was a mess, I was embarrassed. One of his friends made a comment about him sobering up one day, and my boyfriend went to try and punch him, but the bloke got ...

A.   4 September 2020: Don't wait, just go. I know you have an exam but this is going to be on your mind anyway if you don't and I'm sure you must have a friend or two who would come and help you move. You say he only drinks at weekends which is when he gets nasty so l... (read in full...)

My boyfriend made a rude remark about my new hobby. Should I get another hobby?

Q.   I am going riding with a motorcycle riding group. My boyfriend has encouraged me to get some hobbies I do on my own. I've always liked going on scenic drives on motorcycles. So I found this group. When I told my boyfriend about it, he said that ...

A.   4 September 2020: Is a woman of your maturity seriously asking us why her boyfriend reacted the way he did to her new "hobby"? I think you know the answer, don't you? Is his reaction reasonable? Um, no, I think it was rude, to be honest, but that said, I can... (read in full...)

It's SO NOT FAIR that he gets to deduct from child support whenever he wants and says I'm taking advantage of him! I'm SO UPSET!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I'm feeling quite sad and upset tonight. Seeking some advice on how to process what I am feeling and/or what to do about it. I wrote for advice a month ago (I think) about this topic, but at that time it was focused on how my daughter ...

A.   4 September 2020: There is only one way around this. Get a lawyer now, go to court and get this sorted. Don't give him the heads up on what you're going to do, just do it. Let the courts decide what they think is fair for him to pay. Get it legalized an... (read in full...)

I'm wondering if I wasted 9 years of my life with him. He came out as transgender with no warning and wants us to live as a gay couple

Q.   (I'm using their preferred gender pronouns here, not birth ones). I'm married (18 months) and have a 4-year-old daughter. Last week my wife admitted to me that he was transgender and had only married me for money and to have a child. He...

A.   4 September 2020: Let's remove the gender issue for a moment. Your spouse has told you that they only married you for your money and to have a child. That is cruel and unkind whether or not it's true. Your spouse whether through hormone medication or a ... (read in full...)

Bf masturbated to his female friend, considering leaving him

Q.   my bf of 6 months has a hot female friend that posts sexy fb photos everyday showing her body and posts flirty comments on my bf's profile. they have been friends for a decade, still go out from time to time and are still in touch. they have never ...

A.   4 September 2020: This is going to seem harsh but it comes from the heart. Ok, your boyfriend of 6 months is flirting with a woman he's known for 10 years, she flirts with him, she posts sexy photo's and he masturbates whilst looking at them. 6 months into a re... (read in full...)

My husband thinks I ask too much of him. Do I?

Q.   Good afternoon, I have been married for 10 years. For the past years, my husband has told me he feels as though, I ask too much of him. Recently within the last year we opened up an auto shop and due to COVID he had to get a part time job, in addit...

A.   4 September 2020: This, in my opinion, is an age-old problem, that arises when the working partner doesn't appreciate just how much work goes into keeping a house and raising a family. Your husband is working very hard. Trying to keep a business afloat is hard at ... (read in full...)

I'm not comfortable dating a woman who doesn't share my views on sex. Should I cancel the date?

Q.   Dear cupid, I decided a long time ago to remain celibate until marriage. I am not religious, it's my upbringing. Sex outside marriage whether premarital or extra marital is taboo. I been talking to a woman who has shown interest in me, and decid...

A.   4 September 2020: I think if any relationship is to be successful it has to be based on trust and honesty. You desire a partner who holds the same moral values as you but how are you going to know each other's opinions if you don't discuss them? Don't cancel ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong to speak about an argument I had with my mother?

Q.   Please help. Sorry for the long post. I am 32 years old, married with 3 children and my parents continuously oppose decisions I make. I have an 11 year old son. Since March, school has been closed and will be closed until the end of the year due ...

A.   22 August 2020: There's an awful lot of history to unravel here. I am not a religious person but I am a mother. I think Mother's, for the most part, think they know what's best for their children and to a point they probably do but there reaches a point when you... (read in full...)

Am I wrong to speak about an argument I had with my mother?

Q.   Please help. Sorry for the long post. I am 32 years old, married with 3 children and my parents continuously oppose decisions I make. I have an 11 year old son. Since March, school has been closed and will be closed until the end of the year due ...

A.   22 August 2020: There's an awful lot of history to unravel here. I am not a religious person but I am a mother. I think Mother's, for the most part, think they know what's best for their children and to a point they probably do but there reaches a point when you... (read in full...)

How do I handle these fears without sounding like I’m trying to force his hand?

Q.   I have just turned 35 and I’m starting to worry that my time is running out to get married and have children. I’ve been in a relationship for 18 months now with the best guy and we are talking about moving in together within the next few months, but ...

A.   6 August 2020: There's only one way to deal with this, you'll have to talk to your boyfriend. Be honest, tell him your concerns about this and come to a decision together. Marriage proposals do not have to be solely the man's domain and unless it's importan... (read in full...)

How do I work with a woman who is difficult and has an unwilling attitude?

Q.   Hello, This question is not related to love. I’d like to ask your opinion about how to deal with a female co-worker while working from home. I manage HR and Admin. She is the Admin Assistant at one of our offices located in another State. She is r...

A.   6 August 2020: You work in HR so what action would you take if another member of staff came to you with the same problem? What would you advise them to do? I think firstly you need to find out if this woman is experiencing any problems, either with the job itse... (read in full...)

Girl I Dated Months Ago Is Gossiping And Trying To Start Nasty Rumours About Me

Q.   Well, semi ex gf. We dated and she kept insisting she wanted a relationship though I wasn't sure because she was really flaky and kept cancelling and rescheduling on me, provoking me by telling me how much of a handful she was, insulting me and ...

A.   6 August 2020: My goodness, you'd think people would leave this kind behaviour in the playground at infant school where it belongs wouldn't you? Personally, I think you need to set the example and show her how an adult handles situations like this. Ignore it. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend hiding his phone snatches it away I'm concerned about his girl friend

Q.   Hey everyone. I made a post on here in Jan addressing my bf platonic friendship with this girl (you can go to my other question for backstory). Essentially between then and now my feelings towards her hasn't really changed. I have anxiety and can ...

A.   5 August 2020: You say you're ok with this relationship he has with this girl but you're not! Why don't you tell him the truth? Tell him that you WERE ok with it until he started dropping bits of information into conversations with you about "tickling/poking her ... (read in full...)

Two men not sure which one to choose

Q.   My age is a big factor in this situation. I have 2 male friends who have a liking towards me. Well call one A and 1 B , A i have known longest but he isnt 'stable' doesnt have a regular job and can be up and down with things but said he wants kids ...

A.   5 August 2020: This might sound harsh and if it does I don't mean too but here's the thing.... your biological clock is ticking and you seem to be looking for a baby daddy. That doesn't make you a bad person but it sounds more like your shopping for a man to give... (read in full...)

Scared to be myself to my boyfriend, friends and family

Q.   Hi, I feel a bit stupid asking about this because it probably seems so trivial. I think everyone has the feeling that other people don’t properly understand them, yet at the same time are so confident that they know us. There is a gap bet...

A.   5 August 2020: I think you're definitely suppressing who really are. You want to get your ear pierced but your boyfriend says it isn't you and your worried that friends and family will question your motives for doing it. I say, go get that piercing and see how ... (read in full...)

Seeking advice for a first time crush on a trans man

Q.   I am a single heterosexual cis female. I've recently started spending a lot of social time with a 24yr old transitioning man (ftm), and have suprised myself by developing a crush. He and I aren't super close, and to be honest if nothing else the...

A.   5 August 2020: Firstly, your age and inexperience do not matter a bit when you find yourself in unfamiliar waters. Congrats on your weight loss btw, go you 3 Your friends' gender and your sexual preferences and usual age preferences do not matter either, the hear... (read in full...)

Is my husband and his ex still an item?

Q.   Hello and thanks in advance. So I'm married now for 3 years. Just before we were married he had two girlfriends I had no idea but found out two years into our marriage. He acted like it wasn't a big deal. To me it certainly was. I felt bet...

A.   5 August 2020: This is difficult, isn't it? Your husbands' response to your question does seem suspicious doesn't it but then again if he'd calmly sat there and laughed it off would you feel any better and be less suspicious? It isn't quite clear to me whet... (read in full...)

What are your experiences in knowing when it's the right time to have kids?

Q.   I've been in a relationship with my partner for 10 years-engaged for 9. He's 37 I'm 31. We've lived at my moms house for many years trying to save enough money to buy our first home and subsequently get married. We're close to building our home ...

A.   5 August 2020: As a mother, I completely agree with mrswaldhauser in that there is never a right time to have children. All the planning in the world will never prepare you for the total whirlwind that is a newborn baby. It's true that they're expensive and that... (read in full...)

How do you respond to a Facebook flirt?

Q.   With Facebook, Google +1 and the ilk we are flooding more of ourselves into the public eye than at any other time in history. Given that fact, do you take comments, flirts or pokes too seriously? These sites are targeted as social interaction, for...

A.   31 March 2014: Firstly I think if a person is uncomfortable with back biting, Chinese whispers or flirting on Facebook then they should use the privacy settings available on Facebook. This way they can monitor who can see their posts and pictures and communic... (read in full...)

How much are you expected to spend on your girlfriend?

Q.   Hi, I need an opinion and an advice, it's a bit long but I would really appreciate your help! First of all some details: I'm in a long relationship, we are about 6 years together (from age about 20), I love her but not sure how much she loves m...

A.   31 March 2014: I don't think these expectations by your girlfriend are at all normal or reasonable for that matter. I do think that she's self centred, lazy and taking you for granted. You're both students but YOU work part time, she just spends your mone... (read in full...)

If he can't stop I wtll walk!

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles. My Fiance and I have been together 5 years, we have two soon to be three beautiful children together (4, 2 soon to be 3 and our last due in june) We are getting married next month. My deliemma is that I found he posted a ...

A.   30 March 2014: You say you have dealt with loss of trust twice before and now this is the third time. My heart goes out to you. You've taken such a brave step to rebuild trust and fight for this relationship only to have this happen again. I can't help think... (read in full...)

I try my best but he gets angry and irritated with me.

Q.   Why is my boyfriend behaving this way? I'm really upset.? My boyfriend is really upsetting me. He's get angry and irritated with me and is making me really upset. I'm a good girl. I try my best with him. I go to gym regularly to keep fit lo...

A.   30 March 2014: Your boyfriend is a bully. Maybe he's been cheated on in the past and he now has issues where fidelity's concerned HOWEVER, this doesn't give him the right to accuse or insinuate that you would behave in that way or threaten you in any way. ... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant, and it's not a good time!

Q.   I just found out I am three weeks pregnant - it's not the best time for it in that Myself and my boyfriend have just moved into his parents house for the year so that he can afford to start his own business. (I have a permanent job.) And right now, ...

A.   29 March 2014: It's very early days but I think he needs to know as soon as possible. His stress isn't going vanish overnight and there may always be another stress on the horizon that needs dealing with before it's the "perfect" time to tell him. You're ... (read in full...)

I know if I talk to him I'll take him back ...

Q.   Dear Cupid I am with my bf for almost 4 years. We never really talked about marriage as he has some commitment issues. We had our ups and downs, but for past 2 months relationship is going downhill, he often talks about his boss (lady) with whom...

A.   29 March 2014: If he is in love with his boss then it's no doubt unrequited, it's probably in all honesty just a crush! He obviously has good self esteem to think that so many women want his attention. Whether this belief of his is true or not, it's disres... (read in full...)

Never thought it would go on so long or get so serious, and now I can't live with the lies

Q.   You guys have probably never gotten a problem like this before...what I'm about to say is completely disgusting but please bare with me. I randomly met a guy online about 1 year ago. It was all just fun and games at first and a few days into ta...

A.   29 March 2014: cont.... (sorry I got posted too soon) If you end up getting hurt then, to be honest, I feel it's your due. I just hope you learn from this and never do it again. I wish you well AB x... (read in full...)

Never thought it would go on so long or get so serious, and now I can't live with the lies

Q.   You guys have probably never gotten a problem like this before...what I'm about to say is completely disgusting but please bare with me. I randomly met a guy online about 1 year ago. It was all just fun and games at first and a few days into ta...

A.   29 March 2014: I don't think that there is any easy way out of this mess. This is exactly why we warn people, who write to us about their LDR boyfriend/girlfriend who they've never met but KNOW it's the real thing, to be careful. Your intentions may n... (read in full...)

Sex when on my period?

Q.   My boyfriend won't have sex with me when I am on my period. It's nothing to worry about to have sex on my period - what should I do??? ...

A.   26 March 2014: Respect his wishes. Many women feel very turned on during their period but if your guy doesn't like having sex at this time there is nothing you can or should do to make him. As other aunts say there are steps you can take to make it less mes... (read in full...)

The bio father has never shown any interest in her but she's been messaging him

Q.   My daughter has recently been messaging her biological father through Facebook. I'm really not sure how to handle this or feel about it. He has never shown any interest in her and has never actively tried to see her. I know that now she is 14, I...

A.   26 March 2014: At 14 years old, as lovely as she may be, your daughter will only consider herself, she is not an adult and will not think like one. Like all children she will have totally taken for granted everything you and her step father have done for her.... (read in full...)

I'm thinking of giving the baby up for adoption but getting no support

Q.   Dear Cupid, I'm having a kid soon, and I was wondering what the cons of adoption are. When I first discovered I was pregnant, I nearly had an abortion, but was convinced not to follow through by my mother and friends. Now that I mention adoption...

A.   26 March 2014: No, you are not wrong and I think you are wonderful to consider what is best for your baby. Everything you say is right, up to a point. Living in poverty is no fun and trying to raise a child alone is very difficult but not impossible and raising ... (read in full...)

I feel bad for making him suffer

Q.   Hi, this is my problem: I was really in love with this bodybuilding guy. He was the only guy who had ever treated me with love and cared and pampered me and spoiled. He was almost perfect. We were really in love and by no means would we ha...

A.   26 March 2014: No, your not a bad person and neither is he, you are both young and both of your parents put you in a very difficult situation. Rightly or wrongly your parents believed that your ex wasn't right for you. Sadly his immaturity was evident in that ... (read in full...)

Why couldn't he perform?

Q.   I lost my virginity tonight, it wasn't what I thought it'd be like, the guy was drunk. We did it for a little bit and then he started talking just about random stuff and we were just laying there not doing anything. He started falling asleep. When i ...

A.   26 March 2014: Honeypie is so right, just because he didn't ejaculate in you does not mean you're protected from STD's or pregnancy. You must contact your GP or local STD clinic and get advice as soon as they're open. She's also right in saying that the ... (read in full...)

I am already pregnant. So how do my husband and I handle his parents who flipped about the pregnancy because my husband is disabled?

Q.   I need some advice on how to deal with the things going on in my life at the moment. I Will tell u the back story. My husband and I were involved in an accident a few years ago and it left my husband significantly physically disabled and I'm now ...

A.   26 March 2014: I was totally shocked to read your letter. Surely after everything you have both been through you would have thought that your husband's parents would be thrilled that something so wonderful is happening for you both. I really cannot understan... (read in full...)

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