Like what
he writes?
... Add *. Grant to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *. Grant a private message | | | *. Grant's profile:Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can. |
|
Will cleaning up after sex lessen your chances of getting pregnant?
Q. Hi my boyfriend and I are trying for a baby. We have been living toether for 2 years and r financialy ready. My sister had problem concieving so I am afraid this will happen to me to as I no many women who have miscarried lately. Anyway my question ...
A. 6 April 2010: If you're seriously trying to conceive, then you don't want anything dripping out. Get some pillows and prop your midsection up for an hour after intercourse so that gravity help the swimmers.... (read in full...)
Settling in with partner but wondering if I'm missing out on the love of my life?
Q. Im facing a love life dilema... well facing isnt the right word. This is a situation ive been living with for a long time now. Im in a happy steady relationship, i own a car with my partner, were relocating together and we have to kittens together. ...
A. 6 April 2010: We all grow and mature at different rates. At some point many of us reach the stage where we are confident that 'settling in' is the right thing to do, for us and for our partner. You haven't reached that stage -- you seem to have too much ... (read in full...)
I'm scared of going into labour!
Q. Hi I am pregnant, me and my partner have decided to call her scarlett if she is a girl, or oliver if he is a boy. i admit i was shocked when i found out i was pregnant, but me and my partner are very happy and more in love than ever before which is...
A. 6 April 2010: I strongly recommend childbirth classes. The more you know what to expect, the easier things will be for you. And in particular learn about the options for pain control. For our third child my wife had an epidural, and the difference was quite ... (read in full...)
How do I keep a man's interest while saving my virginity?
Q. My significant other recently broke-up with me, and the underlying and unsaid factor? Why sex, of course, or rather the lack of. EVERY single serious relationship I've ever gotten into has ended because the man was frustrated that I intend on savin...
A. 3 April 2010: If you look at the archived questions on this site, you'll find dozens from men complaining that they can't reconcile themselves to their wife's/girlfriend's "past." If you stick to your guns, you're not going to have that problem. There are guys ... (read in full...)
Are there any faithful men out there?
Q. Hey everyone! I was wondering ....Is there such a thing as a faithful man? Even after so many years? No offence guys just got myself out of a bad and long relationship and I am worried/scared : / What are your experiences? Thank you ...
A. 2 April 2010: Yes, there are.... (read in full...)
How big a deal IS sex and fidelity in a marriage?
Q. Hi, I am a 24 year old married girl. I got married 2 years ago. I dont have any kids and my husband is away for the past year. I want to know how big a deal is sex. I love my husband, but i do not think that I should only have sex with him. I occa...
A. 30 March 2010: I don't know what you said when you got married, but my vows included the phrase "forsaking all others." In other words, I promised I would have sex with anyone else. Did you two make that promise? The real question is what did your husband ... (read in full...)
My mum's dark secret...
Q. I am very upset with my mother and I don't know how to handle this situation. My mother never gives me credit for what I remember. My dad was in the army and was being sent to vietnam. I was the oldest and my brother wasn't born yet. I remember ...
A. 30 March 2010: I tried very hard to make sure I had no unfinished business with my parents before they died. It has stood me in good stead in the years since -- I miss them, of course, but I have few regrets.
It's possible that your mother wants to get this off... (read in full...)
My mum has threatened to kick me out of the house if I don't do what she wants!
Q. im 16, pretty independent, mature an very respectful. but lately ive been stressed out an realy upset cause of my mum. she is extremely controlling, in fact she grounded me until i am mature! my mum knows my dream is to be a great chef, and she ...
A. 30 March 2010: I can only guess that you mom wants you to keep your options open. Leaving school without finishing cuts off lots of options. Sounds to me like she's got your best interests at heart. Might not hurt you to have a chat with her.... (read in full...)
Fantasizing about my abusive ex makes me feel perverted.
Q. I was in a very physically, verbally and emotionally abusive relationship for two years. After a handful of counseling visits, countless occurrences of being reprimanded at work for bringing my phone places so he could call and listen to where ...
A. 30 March 2010: You have done the very necessary and important thing -- you have completely removed this person from your life, changed you number, relocated. Those are essential first steps; be proud that you've done them. Be proud and glad that you have ... (read in full...)
My breast size is affecting my self esteem. Any tips on how to make them bigger?
Q. My life is just crazy I guess. I have low self esteem very low I think I am so ugly. Everyone tells me Im beautiful and that I have a pretty smile and pretty eyes, I just don't believe. So I like this guy well love actually I have known him forever ...
A. 30 March 2010: Chill girl. Your breasts aren't your problem. Whatever is there, the right guy will worship them. A-cups can be *very* fun.
There is a whole lot more to you than meets the eye. What's in your head is *way* more important that what's on your ... (read in full...)
He doesn't have morning or nocturnal erections. Is this health issue?
Q. My friend is having problems! He used to take a long time to come; he said it was because he smoked pot. Now he has quit pot and he doesn't even have nocturnal or morning erections. Can anyone explain what is going on? He is afraid of doctors....
A. 30 March 2010: If he's in his 50s and doesn't have spontaneous erections, then by all means it's a medical issue. He could have any number of medical problems: hypertension (high blood pressure), diabetes, bad circulation. He seriously needs medical attention -- ... (read in full...)
Oral sex whilst on my period.
Q. My boyfriend wants to go down on me while I'm on my period. I've never let anyone do this. My only concern is, should I show up with or without a tampon?...
A. 30 March 2010: Yes, discuss it with him. He might be wanting to earn his "red wings." Or he might be wanting to show you in a very graphic way that he loves every part of you, and to please you at all times. He might be kind of special. :)... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband comfortable with the idea of me having sex with other men?
Q. My husband and I have been married for ten years. I think that i have a healthy and realistic view of sex. I have told him that if he ever gets bored with our sex life that he is welcome to sleep with other women. He of course told me that he ...
A. 30 March 2010: It's really a question of how you interpret your vows, and how he in his heart sees you. There are some people who are comfortable separating sex from affection and commitment. Not many that I've personally known, but I've certainly heard of it.
... (read in full...)
Are you likely to fall pregnant having sex during your period?
Q. Me and my boyfriend had sex well i was on my period and we did it the pull out way cuz we both herd that it was unlikely to get pregnit well your on it. Does any one know what the chances or percentage that i could be pregnit? I wouldnt really mind ...
A. 30 March 2010: If your periods are the usual 28 days and regular, then the chance is small. It's certainly possible, but unlikely.... (read in full...)
What is stopping my boyfriend having sex with me???
Q. Hello everyone, My partner and I have been together for three years now and he has still not had sex with me. I am a virgin and he has had a lot of past experiences. However, a year ago I felt ready to have sex so I let him know only for h...
A. 30 March 2010: He has a warning bell going off in his head. I don't know why, but that's how he's behaving. You'll only find out by talking about it.
There is something very odd going on that you've been together for three years, that you said a year ago you ... (read in full...)
He won't have sex with me anymore...
Q. I had finally met him! The guy, the right guy. He was more than everything that I wanted, he was what I needed. We are both in our 30's and have been together now for over a year. While things are not always perfect, they are comfortable, safe ...
A. 29 March 2010: There's nothing like fear to take edge off your sex drive. He may be telling you that he hasn't ruled out the idea of more kids, but his body is screaming "no way." I suspect that he's hearing your biological clock, and the ticking is driving him ... (read in full...)
What do you do with the tongue?
Q. Quick question when you are giving a blow job, when you put it in your mouth should your tongue rub up against it or is it best to keep it out the way....
A. 28 March 2010: Use it. Your tongue can be the difference between merely good and truly great.... (read in full...)
Mood swings after ejaculation!
Q. Ok, always after i ejaculation from masturbating i have maybe 6 ssecs of pleasure then it all turns to hate, anger, and depression all towards myself. But after about 10 mins im back to my normal self and i always go back to doing the same thing. ...
A. 28 March 2010: I had the same experience when I was in my teens. I assumed at the time that it was guilt -- that I was doing something wrong, shameful, sinful, etc.
Later, when I actually had the opportunity to be with a girl, I found that there was a remarkab... (read in full...)
How can I ask my parents if my boyfriend can stay over?
Q. Okay so I've been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years and i stay at his house almost every weekend, but lately he's been asking me if he can stay with me, I feel like I'll be disrespecting my parents so much but I haven't really asked them about ...
A. 28 March 2010: Be honest and up-front, and accept their decision with grace.... (read in full...)
I feel like my mom is interfering with my relationship with my brother
Q. I'm 20, 21 in September. My brother is 20 in November. We get on so well. Like we have the same sense of humour, and the same views and opinions. We hardly ever argue, and when we do, he will come up to me within the next hour and start flicking me ...
A. 26 March 2010: Most parents would be delighted that their kids got along so well. For whatever reason, your mother's mind is in the gutter.
You are an adult. Have an adult conversation with her, and make it clear that you do not appreciate her remarks or her s... (read in full...)
I feel unloved, both by my hubby and by the guy I had an affair with
Q. I am married and started seeing a married man. A little bit of history... I knew him back when I was 16 (he was 21) and we worked together. He never lead on like he liked me, of course I would catch him looking at me. I totally was crushing on ...
A. 26 March 2010: My heart goes out to you. You're in a rotten situation. Of course we can't know what's gone on in your marriage to lead you to your present situation. I rarely condone cheating, but I certainly recognize the desperation that led you to it. I ... (read in full...)
Help!! Advice on husbands actions... Lies, porn and masturbation!!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years and I now have come to a place in our marriage that I am not sure what to do next. I just recently caught him AGAIN watching porn and masturbating. I was so sick to my stomach and absolutly ...
A. 26 March 2010: "The whole truth never came out, so when do I really know what the truth is????
Tying to understand."
Good for you for trying to understand. That's a wonderful, important step.
Forgive me if I'm stating something obvious. And moreso if ... (read in full...)
Have any other guys overcome feeling inhibited when it comes to sex?
Q. Alright...First off I feel really stupid and emasculated to even ask this, but I think there has to be other guys in my shoes or who have been in my shoes. First off, I'm 31, male and recently divorced after being married for quite a few years. I...
A. 26 March 2010: I can't quite give you what you're looking for -- I've never been with a woman who was into the more aggressive style of sex you're describing. And no, I'm certainly not going to suggest that there's some deficiency in your manhood that you're not ... (read in full...)
I have approved of my wife having an affair. Do you think this will lead to problems in the future?
Q. My wife is having an affair with an older man at work. She started this relationship around 10 months ago. She told me about it 1 month ago. They never had sex yet because she is 8 months preggy. we have talked about her having another man before ...
A. 26 March 2010: I read your question and thought, "you're kidding, right?"
I really hope this is one of those questions from someone who's just trying to stir things up. On the off chance that it's genuine ...
Yes, unless you're utterly emasculated (or ... (read in full...)
Is he too old for me or should I continue to pursue him?
Q. Hi, I'm 14 in May and i really really like this guy in my school but he's 18 in August so there's four years between us, plus he's leaving school soon. I asked him out once and he said he would - IF i was his age. We're really good friends already ...
A. 26 March 2010: If you were my daughter I'd do everything possible to keep you from him. It's one in 10,000 of these relationships that doesn't end in tears.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend ready to hear the important details about my affair?
Q. Ok, so I cheated on my boyfriend 5 months ago and told him almost immediately, but left out details as he didn't want to know them. All he knows is that I cheated on him, we didn't have sex, and it was a one-time thing. The guy I cheated with lived ...
A. 26 March 2010: If you tell him more, he'll never believe that he's heard it all. Even if there was no sex, your boyfriend will be convinced there was, that there's another shoe left to drop. Only unburden yourself fully if you're prepared to lose him, because ... (read in full...)
I feel trapped; I want to leave but he makes me feel bad them I end up staying! What can I do?
Q. Ok so there's been so much going on in this relationship. I'm 22 and my bf is 21. We've been together for two years and lived together for 1. Ever since being with him I lost alot of my friends and family. So at the beginning of our relationship I ...
A. 25 March 2010: You are in an abusive relationship. He is an abuser. Men like him are more likely to get worse with time rather than better. Get away from him and stay away, no matter how bad he says he's feeling, no matter how hard he says he's trying. You ... (read in full...)
Could her "ball sucking" cause problems for me in later life?
Q. I am getting concerned over something my girlfriend does to me almost every day. I am worried that it may have long term affects on my sterility, or worse. We have a great sex life (she is really hot!) and make love almost every day. During for...
A. 25 March 2010: I've never heard of it leading to long-term issues, but then again I've never heard of a couple where it part of the routine. You're a lucky guy to have such a hot girl!
One thing I will say is that if you were trying for a baby that this pra... (read in full...)
Help!! Advice on husbands actions... Lies, porn and masturbation!!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years and I now have come to a place in our marriage that I am not sure what to do next. I just recently caught him AGAIN watching porn and masturbating. I was so sick to my stomach and absolutly ...
A. 25 March 2010: "I guess I thought men only masturbated when they didn't have anyone or were perverted"
Oh my. I thought I sensed that view when I first read your question, but chose not to go there. I have to say I'm surprised -- I haven't heard anyone e... (read in full...)
When did your little girl start to grow up?
Q. Maybe this question is irrelevant to the point of this site. But I figure I'll give it a shot. I have four daughters. My oldest is 8-almost-9 and in third grade. A few of her friends are growing up fast. They wear deodorant, bras (even though the...
A. 25 March 2010: My heart goes out to you. As devastated as I would be to lose my wife, it would be worse for my kids. Bless you for hanging in there for your kids and making them your top priority.
When they grow up it can happen awfully fast -- one day you ... (read in full...)
Help!! Advice on husbands actions... Lies, porn and masturbation!!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years and I now have come to a place in our marriage that I am not sure what to do next. I just recently caught him AGAIN watching porn and masturbating. I was so sick to my stomach and absolutly ...
A. 25 March 2010: You seem disappointed that your relationship isn't close anymore, and I presume that you would like more intimacy. After his comment about the vows, do you want that intimacy with him?
Certainly masturbating to porn when you have a willing ... (read in full...)
"I just want you to know who I am"
Q. (Moderator’s note: edited to include paragraphs; OP's title) I don't really know how or where to start...um, I guess I should first explain that I have aspergers, which means I have a lot of difficulty talking to people. When I'm around my two or t...
A. 24 March 2010: It's a very positive thing that you're seeing a counsellor. A skilled professional can be a huge help! You sound like a very self-aware person who just needs a bit of practice presenting yourself in a way you're content with.
A couple of thoug... (read in full...)
Am I stupid, naive and frigid.. or is he manipulating me?
Q. I'm 14 and I have my first proper boyfriend (who is also 14), we were bestfriends beore going out what made everything abit easier, after a while of going out we started touching eachother through our clothes, I soon told him that's As far I'd like ...
A. 22 March 2010: That you've asked the question here is absolutely commendable!
What if anything might have happened in his previous relationships has *nothing* whatever to do with you.
If and only if you feel your relationship with him is deepening, then ... (read in full...)
How do you react when you cause your girlfriend to cry?
Q. from a guys perpective how do u react when your girlfriend cries because of something you did to her? ...
A. 22 March 2010: Well you feel like crap. Beyond that, it just depends. If she's pregnant and has the hormones happening, well that's one thing. You just hide. If you've screwed up and it's acknowledged, it's another.
As a rule, tears from her should b... (read in full...)
My husband says he is not in to me, yet does not want a divorce or to work on it either.
Q. I have been married 24 years. About 12 years ago we started to grow apart. Intimacy became less and less. My husband's attitude towards me was that of disdain. There were in-law problems (they don't like me, I wasn't their choice). This became ...
A. 22 March 2010: What on earth would you gain by telling him you intend to be unfaithful? If you want to be open about being with someone else, then initiate divorce proceedings, and wait until you have the *decree absolute* before you get intimate with someone ... (read in full...)
Molested by dad's friend?
Q. My friend let's call her "Giselle" and myself were touched by my parents friend. Last Friday my parents were having a small party most of the people there were grown-ups that worked at the University with my dad. Anyway half way through the party my ...
A. 21 March 2010: You must tell your parents. And if they don't immediately call the police, call them yourself. What he did in not only inexcusable, it's *criminal*.... (read in full...)
What do men think of lots of pubic hair?
Q. Hey, I'm 14, and i already have LOTS of pubic hair, which i hate. I'm a swimmer, and i'm finding it hard to cope with shaving, and i dont feel ready to wax yet. the hair spreads way past my knicker line. Also, do men find lots of pubic hair unat...
A. 21 March 2010: I think you'll find most guys your age will reply that they want it trimmed if not gone. Regardless, you do want to appear decent whilst swimming, and decent doesn't include having hair showing. I'd never ask a girl to wax there, or even shave -- ... (read in full...)
Should I admit to my husband that I was not a virgin when we married?
Q. I have been married for a long time now and I am feeling guilty. When we met my husband asked me if I was a virgin I lied and said yes. I have only been with one other man and there is no way he will ever find out. If I tell him I am afraid I ...
A. 21 March 2010: My wife and I are in your age range. We got together when she was 18, and she said she was a virgin. At the time it mattered to me a great deal. Even if she hadn't had intercourse, the idea of other things she might have done made slightly ... (read in full...)
What would my kids say if they knew I got involved with their Uncle?
Q. I need help. I am the mother of three children, all grown up. My husband died unexpectedly when I was pregnant with the last one, nineteen years ago. Although I had my share of relationships over the years, none was good enough to make me settle d...
A. 21 March 2010: I doubt it would be much more strange than your being in a relationship with anyone else who wasn't their father. As it is, I suspect even the two older children don't remember their father much. So to see their uncle as someone off-limits, not ... (read in full...)
Can her hormones affect my cycle if we are together a lot?
Q. My brother's girlfriend missed her period. I went with her to get a test at the drug store and she took it. It was negative. I was at her house when her mom was home. Her mom found the test and she said it was mine. She called my mom and she ...
A. 19 March 2010: It's been documented that women living in the same home can have their cycles converge. But I've never heard of someone missing a period because a woman close to her was pregnant. You're likely just stressed -- particularly since your mother is ... (read in full...)
Another threesome story... should I do it?
Q. Help my boyfriend asked me if I would be willing to have a threesome. I am not attracted to women, but I would do anything to stay with him. We have a 6 year old son together, and he is the love of my life. I offerd to turn a blind eye and let him ...
A. 19 March 2010: You've had great advice from the previous posters. It's commendable that you're concerned about your child, as it should be. That should be your first and only priority. ... (read in full...)
| *. Grant's friends
These are mutual friends, so *. Grant has
added them and they have added *. Grant!
|
