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... Send *. Grant a private message | | | *. Grant's profile:Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can. |
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Another threesome story... should I do it?
Q. Help my boyfriend asked me if I would be willing to have a threesome. I am not attracted to women, but I would do anything to stay with him. We have a 6 year old son together, and he is the love of my life. I offerd to turn a blind eye and let him ...
A. 19 March 2010: You've had great advice from the previous posters. It's commendable that you're concerned about your child, as it should be. That should be your first and only priority. ... (read in full...)
Would I be imposing if I went to the funeral?
Q. I've been with my BF for about 7 months. I've met his family and we're quite serious. I met his grandmother last week and I've just found out that she died yesterday. My BF told me about her funeral and then said 'you're welcome to come.' Was...
A. 18 March 2010: I suppose it depends on what kind of funeral it is. If it's held at a church or a funeral home and there will be more people than just family attending, then by all means you certainly should go. Your place is at his side.
On the other hand, if... (read in full...)
Guys, ... why do you watch porn?
Q. A question for all you guys out there... Why do you watch porn even if your sex life is brilliant? why do you feel the need to watch some random girl when you have your girlfriend? Do you know how it makes normal, non-plastic women feel when the...
A. 17 March 2010: It's been quite some time since my sex life was brilliant, but I'll try to give you a proper answer anyway.
If he's anything like a decent lover, he wants to put your satisfaction before his. And unless you're a complete firecracker, that pro... (read in full...)
I love my mistress but I feel bad for leaving my wife and kids
Q. I am 35 years old, married for 9 years with 3 kids relatively young - 7 and twins of 4 years old. I met a girl 4 years ago (Kelly) but we really started to see each other more often like twice a week over the past 4 months, before it was once a mo...
A. 17 March 2010: Points # (2) and (3) -- she's wonderful, and you don't want to hurt her and your children.
Vs. Points # (4), (5), and (6). Kelly is young, needy, and probably incompatible.
You got married. You made vows. Then three kids came along, and ... (read in full...)
My dad's abusive and out of control
Q. I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible. I'm 17 now and have grown up with a a terrible relationship with my dad. He has never been a 'dad' to me and as I've got older, we have drifted more and more apart. He hasn't worked for 12 ye...
A. 17 March 2010: Penny, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this nonsense. We all expect that we're supposed to have a dad who will give us a hug and make things right. I'm so sorry that isn't in your cards.
Kiddo, you mentioned your college books. If you'r... (read in full...)
I feel like I've lost my daughter
Q. Hi Guys, I'm posting in a real state of distress re one of my daughters. She has been going out with in appropriate guys since she was 16 and is onto her third boyfriend now who is pleasant enough but unemployed and seems to depend on her for ...
A. 17 March 2010: OK luv, you're facing a real tough challenge. So far this girl has been playing you. If you give in now, you're going to keep getting played. And regardless of what you do, she isn't going to be there for you in your old age, unless it's to play ... (read in full...)
In love with a drug dealer
Q. i want to be with a guy who i love and he loves me. the only thing that is stopping me be with him is the fact he is a drug dealer. i want to be with him so badly and very tempted to give it a try despite knowing the concequences if im in the wrong ...
A. 17 March 2010: Your friends and family are completely right on. You can just as easily fall in love with a really good guy. Drop this loser!... (read in full...)
Do you think he is using me to take care of him since no one else will?
Q. Well...I have a question and I'm hoping someone can help me by answering it or giving me suggestions. To start things off my boyfriend (to whom I have been with for almost 6 months) He has been living with me for the past 2 months, he is in school ...
A. 17 March 2010: Girl, this guy is a sponge. He'll suck every bit of life and wellbeing from you as long as you let him. Leave him and let him go back to his mother and work out his issues with her. Go now, as quick as you can.... (read in full...)
Loose? Or control issues?
Q. Ok...I have visited this site on several occassions with the same dilemma...my boyfriend complains about sex with me. He says that my vagina and anus are loose and I do not feel the same way I did when he met me one year ago. The anus I can ...
A. 17 March 2010: It's up to you whether you stay with him or not. In my opinion you are being treated with incredible disrespect. It sounds like you are an incredibly accommodating lover, and he's a first class jerk. He's threatening to leave you? Probably the ... (read in full...)
Will allowing my wife to sleep with other men get her through her mid life crisis?
Q. My wife has came to me with the idea that she wants to sleep with other men. She is madly in love with me and our sex life is incredible. She has been chatting online with other men and has lined up her first "dude" for this Friday night. She is ...
A. 17 March 2010: She hates hurting you? That says you're not 100% onside. Which is supported by: "I am hoping that once she does the deed she will feel extreme guilt and stop it."
I've heard of instances where a couple who are incredibly secure with each oth... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him like a good Christian for cheating on me, or tell him to hit the road?
Q. I just got a boyfriend not even a month ago. He was sweet, respectful, nice, and never pushed me on anything. It was the night of my 19th birthday when I got a text message from my boyfriend's ex. She claims that I should be careful and that my ...
A. 12 March 2010: Hit the road, definitely. You can be a good Christian and get your eternal reward, but why go out of your way to make the intervening time unpleasant?... (read in full...)
Unsure about having a MMF threesome.
Q. Ok, we have had discussions of having a threesome, but always decide that realistically it's best left as a fantasy. Ok, fine...wrong. I find lately my dreams are constantly on the subject. Sometimes I am turned on about it, sometimes it pis...
A. 10 March 2010: I've heard of guys who went into it with no doubts at all, and came out with huge regrets. I think going in with doubts is dangerous as hell. Hey, it's a fantasy that works for you -- leave it at that.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mother and risk my whole family finding out what happened?
Q. Hi there Aunts and Uncles. This is is something that has been playing on my mind for a long time. I'm remaining anonymous due to the topic. I was molested by my cousin as a child. The earliest incident I remember was when I was 4. My cousin was 25...
A. 10 March 2010: I quite agree with the suggestion that you contact a rape crisis counsellor. As to what, if anything, you do beyond that, well that should depend solely upon what's best for YOU.
It would be a good idea for your family to understand that there's ... (read in full...)
My penis jumps with my heartbeat -- is this normal?
Q. okay, when i have an erection i for some reason have a pulse. that is my penis kind of jumps at the beat of my heartbeat. is this normal? ...
A. 10 March 2010: It's perfectly normal for a young, healthy man. You're perfect -- enjoy!
You want to be worried when it *doesn't* happen, which usually goes with getting old.... (read in full...)
Crush on my second cousin.... so wrong but so right?
Q. I'm sure most have felt it..... you meet one of your 2nd..3rd cousins and before you realize hes your cousin you think hes cute, funny, and an all together good guy. Then the dreaded thing happens, turms out your related. I met my 2nd cousin back in ...
A. 9 March 2010: I don't really see the problem (except for your boyfriend). A second cousin isn't a close enough relation to be illegal, it's not particularly genetically risky. Now if your family isn't comfortable with the idea that is indeed an issue.
You'r... (read in full...)
Self conscious about my vagina...
Q. ok well... im very self concious of my vagina... my husband thinks it's great... but i've noticed that my 'vagina lips' are a little farther apart than normal to me... and my clitoris is a little big... so is there anything i could do to help ...
A. 9 March 2010: There are plastic surgeons, particularly in California (surprise!) that specialize in reshaping genitalia. Personally I think it's a horrible idea. Any time I've ever been close enough to a vulva to see the sorts of "flaws" you're talking about, ... (read in full...)
Should I take my teenage daughter to a clinic to get birth control? There are no close females in her life and I am worried about her
Q. I am a single father of 3 teen age children, 1 daughter (16) and 2 sons (17) and (19). My daughter has been dating a boy from her school since late january. He seems like a nice enough of a guy but my sons call him a "player". A few nigths ago I ...
A. 9 March 2010: Oh man, I can so feel your pain. My daughters are 16 and 14 and I'm having real fun with them these days (NOT!).
The two ladies who replied are, of course, right. It's hoping for a miracle to expect an interactive conversation with her (on pret... (read in full...)
Is this lack of a father figure or something else???
Q. I'm 17 - 18 in a couple of months. It's taken me a lot of courage to start writing this, because I am very, very embarrassed about what I'm going to say and I feel like such an awful, twisted person. I have always had confidence issues, paranoia ...
A. 9 March 2010: I don't have anything to add to what the others have said. I do want to reinforce the comment that you're being waaay too hard on yourself. I invented a fake g/f once to get people off my back -- lots of people have done it. You're not twisted or ... (read in full...)
Is what we are doing wrong/unhealthy???
Q. Hello, Okay. I am a female and have a best friend (also female) that I am living with. We have been besties for 4ish years now, even through a period when we lived in different states. We have been through a lot together and always consider...
A. 8 March 2010: The only way I could see this being unhealthy is if it were to put your friendship at risk. Since she initiated, and you're obviously OK with it, your friendship is probably safe. Although the fact that it's never mentioned is a bit worrisome -- ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't seem to care about sex anymore
Q. Am worried. My hubby of 5yrs used to be passionate about sex. Thing is, now he does not care. We go 3 weeks to 1month no touch. He gets no erection when i walk around naked. When i force him to touch me, he sleeps with hand on my part. Think he has ...
A. 8 March 2010: It's hard to say from what you've told us. It could be a medical problem, but if he's under 35 that's not so likely. I'm sorry to say that the only way you're likely to find out is to *talk* to him.... (read in full...)
What do men think about small busts?
Q. i just like to know because i'm fairly small busted (32b JUST) what men think of small boobs, i have a dead close lad mate and he says its not just about your boobs its about the full package and that what's use in having big boobs if you have a ...
A. 8 March 2010: Kiddo, size doesn't matter. Or rather, if it matters to him, he's a wanker. ... (read in full...)
Proper behaviour at a hotel?
Q. When you are at a hotel, are you suppose to leave a tip for the maid? If so how much? Where should I leave the tip at? Do you tip each day or leave the tip when you are checking out?...
A. 8 March 2010: It depends where you are. In North America, it's not expected. But if you've left them with a particular mess, beyond what they should reasonably expect, then by all means you should.
In Europe, and particularly if you're going to be in the same... (read in full...)
Afraid of needles
Q. soz this aint to do with relations ships but i needed some advice on it. i have a phobia of needels and im going to hhave jab in a few days time i need tto know how to keep my self calm for the time being and while im having it done. thanx...
A. 8 March 2010: Don't watch them put the needle in. When they swab your arm, go to a place in your head that's happy and calm, like being on a beach with the sound of gentle ocean waves lapping on white sand.... (read in full...)
Torn between two brothers ...
Q. Before anyone judges me please understand my reasons for what i have done. Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and the past 6 months, i've been sleeping with his younger brother who is the same age as me, 21. A little over a year ago i found...
A. 8 March 2010: You love him despite his sleeping around and giving you a STI? I'm sorry, but I don't understand that at all. Regardless of the brother, you seriously need to give your head a shake. What on earth does the word *love* mean to you? Is your ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my neglecting mother?
Q. I am just so fed up of my mother... she is so unsupportive of everything I do, all she cares about is her boyfriend. She needs to grow up, and realise that she is responsible for her children! She has to realise that she can't act like a teenager ...
A. 8 March 2010: First, you should make sure that your Dad knows about these issues. Next, you should talk to the counsellor at your school. The local social service agency will likely have means to put thing a bit more right.... (read in full...)
I am dealing with my best friend's death
Q. I was best friends with this girl for over seventeen years; since we were nine. She met this guy in junior year of high school and I actually really liked him at first; as in, I gave my "approval" as best friend. He treated her very well the first ...
A. 7 March 2010: Getting involved in the issue of domestic violence would be a wonderful tribute to your friend, and probably the most constructive response to a personal tragedy I've ever heard of. Contact a women's shelter if you're not sure how to start -- they ... (read in full...)
He says we're still together as a couple, but doesn't want to speak
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now, and although we have had a fair share of problems, we've both stayed together and both make each other happy. For the last couple of weeks my boyfriend has seemed really happy, but has ...
A. 7 March 2010: Every relationship is different, and every couple has their own way of coping with stress. So what seems odd to us might be perfectly reasonable for you two. Except that you wouldn't be posting here if you didn't find it odd, too.
I can't he... (read in full...)
We went too far and feel guilty
Q. Today was my boyfriend and i 4 months anniversary and we indeed spend the day together.Today was the day we actually kiss so long and so deep,well whiles we were kissing he touched me alot,and he sucked my breast and afterwards we both felt bad,his ...
A. 7 March 2010: There's a saying: "good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of experience comes from bad judgment."
You sound very sensible, so understand that hey, mistakes happen. You can feel better about yourself right now because you recogniz... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friends keeping asking him when he's going to 'try something' with me
Q. My boyfriend always tells me hes not going to pressure me into doing anything I dont wanna do. I know this is wrong in so many ways but I read his texts and some of his stuff on facebook and his friends ask some things like 'did ya 'f**' yet?' and ...
A. 6 March 2010: In addition to that very good other answer, this should be another reason for you to not do anything even if he does try something. Whatever happens won't stay between you and him, it will be broadcast all over. So unless you want everyone to know ... (read in full...)
My child overheard bad language and keeps repeating it
Q. help! my bf and i had a fight, we took it to room, 3 yr old overheard him say why u acting like a bitch? now she calls me bitch. how do i discipline her? she talks back to me, and it becomes a shouting match. i dont know what to do, cant hit her, ...
A. 6 March 2010: Your child is reacting to the attention she gets when she uses that word.
Your making a big deal about your child's language is giving your child a huge dose of power. Stop making a fuss about it! Ignore it and it will go away. In the mean... (read in full...)
Need some adult input on sex and pregnancy
Q. My mom wont talk to me about sex. today i asked her over 30 times about different thing but she just walks away from me and tells me not to follow her and to leave her alone. so i have no other choice but to ask the people on this site. So here is ...
A. 6 March 2010: Good for you for asking, and ever better for being firm with your boyfriend!
For starters, knowing when you might become pregnant helps, but it's not a substitute for condoms and other birth control.
If your cycle is regular, that is, if your... (read in full...)
I'm scared that I'll lose him completely before we work this out
Q. i split up with my partner when i was 7 months pregnant. a few months later he met someone else, we always got on really well. after nearly 2 years he split up with her and i wanted him back. he stayed up over christmas an we ended up sleeping ...
A. 6 March 2010: From what you've said here, I'm sorry to say that it very much sounds like you two are done. You've given him ample opportunity to come back, and he's instead said he's not interested and walked away. I know it's not what you want to hear, but ... (read in full...)
Has my late dad brought us together???
Q. I am not sure if this belongs here but I will ask it anyway. My question might be wishful thinking on my part but I do feel strongly what has happened since I lost my dad in Novermber. Dad and I were really close he knew me better then any...
A. 3 March 2010: I'm very sorry for your loss. I was very close to my father, too, and the months of his illness, and then his death, were the toughest time in my life so far.
I think you're wise to tread carefully, being aware as you are that your emotiona... (read in full...)
I beat up the drunk who groped my GF, now she's mad at me. What gives?
Q. My GF and I were at a bar and while were standing at the bar waiting for our drinks, some dirtbag in his late 50's comes up to us, drunk off his arse. Stands between my GF and me and puts one arm around my shoulder and one around my GFs. We did ...
A. 2 March 2010: I certainly understand your reaction. There's a little voice in the back of my head saying, "right on!"
But it wasn't really a fair fight from the sound of it. Instead it was vigilante justice. You could have called the police and had him char... (read in full...)
Is my husband being unfair or not?
Q. Well i have a problem. My husband is behaving like a naughty boy in front of the people he works for. So i ask him why is he trying to be someone he is not? He says he is just enjoying himself. But then he gets out of hand. I never knew him like ...
A. 1 March 2010: The only thing you're doing wrong is tolerating his abusive behaviour. No one deserves the treatment you're getting; the fact that he feels he can treat his parents the same way speaks to a poor upbringing.
If he's prepared to kick you out, you... (read in full...)
Is there any chance I'm pregnant?
Q. Hi, I lost my virginity 2 weeks ago, and we didnt use condom, we wanted to have sex without condom, but what is the chances of getting pregnet for the first time sex and not using protection. I last my rirgenity but he didnt stay to long in my ...
A. 1 March 2010: Yes, it is possible. He doesn't need to ejaculate in you to introduce sperm -- there are sperm in pre-cum. ... (read in full...)
For my English project: Is it Affect or Effect?
Q. I know this isn't to do with relationships but i'm unsure of where else to ask. Basically, i'm doing a speech in english which I have chosen to do on the topic of judgment. My question is : would I entitle it 'the Affect of judgment' or 'the Effect ...
A. 1 March 2010: If there's something in the English language that people have more trouble with than this one, I don't know what it is. Good for you for asking. If you're 'effecting' a change, you're putting it into action. "The earthquake had the effect of ge... (read in full...)
Has my friend's husband crossed the line with me?
Q. I would like your opinions please as to whether you think my friend's husband has "crossed the line" with me? I have been close friends with them both for over 20 years. There has always been a bit of a spark between us and even my friend has joked ...
A. 1 March 2010: I think you're an insightful woman whose instincts have been sending a warning. The telling comment is, "This seems to happen when my friend is not around." So yes, he probably does indeed have feelings that go beyond friendship.
On the other ha... (read in full...)
Old wives cure for acne
Q. Is urine good for acne and for the facial skin? My friend told me this and I don't know if to believe her....
A. 22 February 2010: My step-mother told me it worked for her. I tried it and thought it helped. But I *never* told anyone that I did it!... (read in full...)
Straight man with homoerotic thoughts?
Q. I'm straight but I've recently questioned my sexuality because I started liking penis. I don't think I have homosexual tendencies because I have absolutely no "emotional" or "romantic" attraction towards men and don't want to start a relationship ...
A. 19 February 2010: It could indeed be just a phase. Fantasies work for a while and then you move on to something new. Just because something in your head pushes the right buttons doesn't mean you really want to do it.... (read in full...)
I want more opportunities to have sex without family around!
Q. Hi, I know this sounds silly but I could use some advice on it. I'm 16 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now. I lost my virginity to him, he wasn't a virgin, this past October. Now the problem is that we never ge...
A. 19 February 2010: I really like Aunty Bim's answer.
I presume that both parents' think "not under my roof." Which I would say to my 16 y/o daughter. So, ain't gonna happen at home. If you're earning enough money go rent a motel room, go for it. Otherwis... (read in full...)
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