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... Send *. Grant a private message | | | *. Grant's profile:Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can. |
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My boyfriend died 2 months ago and I cry every night
Q. My boyfriend died about 2 months ago. I have had terrible relationships before he came along. he treated me like I was literally a princess and the only one in this world. I know it has just been a little over 2 months but I still cry every night. I ...
A. 26 September 2010: I'm so sorry that you're going through such an awful time. Yes, it's perfectly normal. Everyone grieves in different ways, and no one can say that there's a "right" amount of time.
Talk to someone who will give you a sympathetic ear -- a parent... (read in full...)
I recently came out and want to have a male date at my graduation
Q. Hello, I am a 17 year old gay male and live in a small town in Saskatchewan. I came out when I was 15 and all I've been able to think about is how happy it would make me to have a boy as my grad escort. But as I said, I live in a small town, and ...
A. 25 September 2010: "I think I should have the same right as everyone else."
That's true, of course. But it took the gay community in Toronto (and New York and L.A.) years to get to that point. Lots of persecution, lots of discrimination, and more than a few phys... (read in full...)
Is thick and yellow normal for cum?
Q. When I perform oral sex on my man, I noticed when he cum in my mouth, it is thick and yellowish. When I go to spit it out, I gag every time. Have any male experienced this? Can anyone tell me what this could be? It looks like old mucus....
A. 24 September 2010: It can get that way if he hasn't ejaculated for a long while. Unusual, but not unheard of. ... (read in full...)
Does it matter what girls look like when sucking?
Q. Question for guys (though ladies can offer their answers too!) I desperately want to give the guy I'm seeing really great head. But I'm incredibly insecure at times - not just as most girls are, it's a little deeper than that apparently- and ...
A. 22 September 2010: We're grateful that it's happening at all. It doesn't matter what it looks or sounds like.... (read in full...)
Did I love him or did I just want to be in a relationship?
Q. i just broke up with my bf and i dont feel sad. I'm 18 and im really attractive but i've never had a bf before him. We had been together for five months and he was my first bf. he is the most perfect guy ever, he is sweet, sensitive, smart, funny, ...
A. 20 September 2010: He clearly feels more strongly about the relationship than you do. Moving on is the most fair thing you can do for him. Hey, it happens -- that's why we date before we get married, to figure out if we're on the same page. Whatever your motivation ... (read in full...)
How to get my virgin girlfriend to have sex with me?
Q. Dear Readers, I would like to have some advise on how to convinced my girlfriend to have a sexual intercourse with me... Since she is still a virgin, it is extremely complicated to convinced her.. She always tells me to wait and wait and wait......
A. 19 September 2010: How about accepting that she isn't ready and being grateful for what you're getting? Good grief, you're underage, she's meeting you more than half way. Stop pressuring her! If she were writing in to ask about your behaviour I'd advise her to dump ... (read in full...)
I don't like being a mum... I want all my freedom back!!!
Q. Hey guys. Thanks for looking at my dilemma! And I will keep it short.,.. Basically, I'm 27 years old, single mum to a beautiful 5 month old boy. The father is my ex, we broke up when I was pregnant, he is still around for our son and is a great d...
A. 18 September 2010: Yep, parenting means an inconceivable loss of freedom. A child needs a stable presence in his life, 24/7 for the first few years, and not much less than that until they're at least 18. Being a single mom and doing it well is one of the toughest ... (read in full...)
Too much masturbation leads to less sperm later on?
Q. Don't know how to start but I keep on watching porn and masturbate frequently, like once a day. I am worried that the more I masturbate the less sperm I will be able to produce later in the years And for some reason I am not as aroused as i used to ...
A. 18 September 2010: A healthy male body produces sperm at a particular rate. There's no 'reservoir' that you can deplete, nor can you wear out the plumbing that produces it. If nothing changes with your health you'll produce just as much, regardless of how much you, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a teeth fetish?
Q. My boyfriend has a "teeth" fetish. Or maybe it's a cavity fetish. He always wants to look inside my mouth at fillings I've had done, or any dental work, he likes to feel my teeth with his tongue while we're kissing, and he's even asked if he could ...
A. 16 September 2010: Wow, just when you thought you'd heard everything ...
OK, fetishes can be creepy, particularly when we don't get them at all. I suppose this one is less gross than lots of others, but it doesn't matter if you're getting creeped out by it. I s... (read in full...)
Dating a RAF man
Q. I am re-posting this question, as I just would like some more feedback and I would really appreciate any advice I can get on this matter because I really need to decide what I should do about my RAF boyfriend and I am beginning to realise how hard...
A. 16 September 2010: You didn't mention if he'd been deployed. RAF could be anything from a clerk to a pilot. If he's been in combat, then you're dealing with a world that civilians simply cannot understand. RAF (and RN and ...) wives have been dealing with this ... (read in full...)
Should I put up a front???
Q. Why in the World do i like older guys?! I mean, not much older, but the age difference could be from 4 to 11 years, which is not that much to me considering my relatives but my friends all think its so weird. They always think I'm hiding something ...
A. 16 September 2010: No, you're wanting company that can provide conversation beyond boobs -- hard to imagine why you might want that. Good for you for wanting something more and better. Yes it's smart to deflect the inane nonsense -- find a geek guy you can relate to ... (read in full...)
12 year old boy caught "in the act"
Q. hi, im a single father and i have a question is it ok is my 12 year old son jacks off. I caught him in"the act" yesterday.i need help please help me....
A. 16 September 2010: You have a real opportunity here. You can use this situation to help your son avoid all kinds of nonsense guilt that so many people carry around with them. Tell him that it's normal, it's natural, and that it's a healthy way for him to learn how ... (read in full...)
Happy days... :)
Q. Hey guys! I haven't been on DearCupid in MONTHS, and I'm happy to say that, upon returning, I can still see some really great advice being given and received EVERYWHERE! You haven't changed a bit :) Except... I was just browsing through the ar...
A. 15 September 2010: Well done! And well-written, too.
That's a very welcome change from what we usually see. Thanks a bunch. (And I hope you see her again).... (read in full...)
My father has disconnected from the family and we are very concerned about him. What can we do?
Q. I am at odds. .this is really taking a toll on myself and siblings. My parents had recently divorced after 35 plus years. My father had an affair and was drinkibg alcohol on weekends. .the had a great job and good relationships with people ...
A. 15 September 2010: I agree with rcn. There is a possibility that this woman is sedating your father and arranging things so that she can clean him out. I find it difficult to believe, from how you describe his past, that he could have sent those texts. Investigate ... (read in full...)
Disturbing boy in my class
Q. There is a guy in my class who iz always rubbing me.!!!! Rubbing my back legs chest hips butt and trys for my other part also. He trys to put my hand in his pants. He acutualy one stuck his hand down his pants then when I was not paying attentio...
A. 15 September 2010: Most schools have zero tolerance policies. If you go to the principal, he MUST take action. Do so -- this creep thinks he's untouchable and can do whatever he wants. He needs to learn that that's not so.... (read in full...)
My wife wants another man and ok'd it. I think she may fall in love with him. What do I do?
Q. I need advice. My wife wants to have a real relationship with another man and I have sanctioned it. Am I crazy or a great husband? We have been married for over 20 years. I want her to have it all. I have not been perfect. Far from it. She st...
A. 13 September 2010: It's far too late for you to be having second thoughts about this. The barn door is open and the horse is two counties away. From here on in your "marriage" is going to consist of her getting her jollies elsewhere and you living vicariously ... (read in full...)
We have sex 5X a week and he still needs porn?
Q. Hello. My bf and I have sex about 5 times a week, but he still watches porn alone and masturbates. I have never had a problem with him watching porn, but does this reflect on me? Am I not enough?...
A. 13 September 2010: No, it's not necessarily a reflection on you. If a guy is a considerate lover, he's going to go to some effort to make sure the whole experience is good for you. That means setting the right romantic tone, lots of foreplay, etc. If you're having ... (read in full...)
Not on speaking terms with father
Q. I'm not sure what to do about my relationship with my dad. About a year ago, December 28 2009, I tried to take a flight to see my LDR girlfriend, whom I still have a strong healthy relationship with. The problem was that my parents didn't approve, ...
A. 13 September 2010: I've heard that dreams can be signs of unresolved issues in our lives. That certainly would fit here.
Our culture leads us to expect that families will be a certain way -- that your parents will be wise, loving and supportive. All too often th... (read in full...)
Kids having sex!
Q. OK lately I see a lot of questions here where children from the age of 14-16,17 years think that they are old enough to have sex. They don't understand anything about it. They think that they are ready. There are even parents who agree with the idea ...
A. 13 September 2010: I agree with much of what you've said, nightfairy. And as a parent I can only say I wish it was as simple as being strict.
My parents were raising kids in the 1950s. My father's attitude was that you wait until marriage. Period. When one of m... (read in full...)
Question for the guys about middle-aged women
Q. I'm just wondering... With all the young, hot, semi-nude, perfect female bodies constantly paraded on TV, ads, etc.(not even considering porn... let's not go there), can a middle-aged, post menopausal women still look attractive to a middle a...
A. 13 September 2010: Are you talking about a photo shoot or a relationship?
I'm a middle-aged man, and I recognize that there's all sorts of eye candy around -- more all the time it seems. Sure it's nice to look. But wanting to do more than look? No thanks. ... (read in full...)
Married man in love with a another woman
Q. I’ve been married for 25 yrs I am 52 and my wife is 50 we have 2 children 18 and 21. My spouse is a great mom and friend and I love her very deeply as a friend and the mother of my children, nothing else. We have no chemistry in the bedroom ...
A. 10 September 2010: There's a long answer to this and a short answer. The short answer is: it sounds like you've made up your mind already -- you and your g/f deserve to be happy. Really you're just looking for someone to let you off the hook for the guilt you feel ... (read in full...)
Desperate not to be trapped again
Q. I'm 32 years old and am engaged to be married this November. I really think I love my fiance and I'm sure he loves me, but I am terrified of getting married. For starters, I know I have a lot of baggage left over from my first marriage (I did ...
A. 10 September 2010: You're looking for objective advice, so here goes.
This guy has a ton of baggage. You're hearing the flapping of a dozen red flags. Your own health is deteriorating. Are the immigration and financial questions really so serious that you want... (read in full...)
How Do I Tell Him?...or Should I?...
Q. I'm a 28 year old female who finds herself attracted to her 25 year old male cousin. Yes, I said it my cousin. I want him to know it too, but I'm sooo afraid. We are first cousins, my father and his father are brothers and we were raised together, ...
A. 10 September 2010: Why not call / email to see how he's doing -- he's just lost his father, after all. And you can certainly tell him how impressed everyone was by his support for his mother. In other words, open the lines of communication in a neutral way, and try ... (read in full...)
How should I react to her comments?
Q. Not sure what to do, I have been married for over 20 years, and recently witnessed a co-worker of my husband try to hit on him. Bringing this up has led us to a huge argument, and now we are not talking. Not sure why he is mad at me for bringing it ...
A. 10 September 2010: You really haven't told us if you otherwise have reason to mistrust your husband. If you don't, then don't read anything more into it than banter. Her comment about him not being fun sober could simply mean he isn't exactly the life of the office.... (read in full...)
What did he mean by that??
Q. I've been best friends with this one guy for over a decade now; since we were 10. We planned to go to the same college together so we would know someone when we got there and we achieved said goal. Now we're both juniors at the same college and ...
A. 10 September 2010: There are at least two things he could have meant. He's not sure what went on, and needs to get things sorted out in his head. Or he has some idea of what went on, and liked it. You're going to have to have a more in-depth conversation to figure ... (read in full...)
Loss of sexual desire in a man
Q. I need as many opinions as possible. Is it true that sometimes a man can just lose his sexual desire for his wife for no apparent reason and get no erections when they have sex? Or is this just impossible? And there is always a cause? And if there ...
A. 9 September 2010: It's certainly possible. It could be a health issue -- depression, low hormone levels, medications which interfere with erectile function, etc.
If he's been fully checked out medically, then it could be stress, boredom with the sexual routine,... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with the sister of my child's mother
Q. i find myself atracted 2 the sister of my baby's mother and my desires to have sex with her are burning out of control.i used to skip the thought of me having sex with her.but know i cant even hide it.my actions are spiling out of control and am ...
A. 9 September 2010: You've recognized that you have the attraction and that it's a problem. Good start. Now realize that we all have inappropriate urges from time to time, but responsible adults restrain themselves from acting on them. So be an adult, be ... (read in full...)
Need advice on my ED problem!
Q. I'm so worried right now. I don't know what happened to me, but I have serious sexual desire problem, and erectile dysfunction. Started few years ago. The doc says ,Im healthy, hormones are ok. And here goes my marriage, my wife 27 years was very ...
A. 8 September 2010: Routine is a desire killer. Have you and your wife changed things up at all? Do you have fantasies that you could share with her that might spark some interest? The fact is, as much as you love each other, if you know exactly what's going to ... (read in full...)
Parents splitting up and I cant chose between them!
Q. i need to be helped my mom and dad have just split up and my dad wants me but so does my mom i love my mom and i love my dad but who should i go with please help me :(...
A. 6 September 2010: Hon, if the age you posted is correct, you don't need to choose one or the other. You can love both of them, spend time with both of them as you choose to do. Just because their marriage has broken down does not mean in any way that you have to ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his weird fetish desires?
Q. my guy watches porn but not just any porn he watches foot fetish porn, gay porn and midget porn he has a serious foot fetish and he likes sucking cock (but isnt gay)and he says he would love to fuck a midget but how do i deal with this?...
A. 5 September 2010: I find most people are touchy around the whole fetish thing. Either you're OK with it or it's a squick. Only you know the answer in this case.
If you're not creeped out by his fetishes, the next question to ask yourself is whether you can acco... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend masturbate after having sex with me?
Q. Why does my boyfriend masturbate after having sex with me? After we have sex, he says he needs to pee, goes to the bathroom and continues masturbating? Why does he do that?...
A. 5 September 2010: It's not unheard of. If the sex was really awesome and you're not interested in round two when he is, he may feel the need to carry on alone. Sometimes once isn't enough, especially for a guy around 18. ... (read in full...)
Is she over eating? What is the problem here?
Q. Hey aunts, ok, so this isn't really a love, sex or relationship question, but it's still important to me . So my 13 year old sister lives in my apartment with me, she goes to school when I do ( I am 18 and go to college ) and my boyfriend frequently ...
A. 5 September 2010: The key here is that you say she's healthy and not overweight. She may simply be having a growth spurt that she needs to feed. If her snack food of choice is something healthy like celery, there's nothing to worry about. Of course she'll need to ... (read in full...)
If you saw a 46 year old man and a 17 year old girl holding hands or kissing in public how would you react??
Q. My first love is 46, we've been seeing each other for a year now and we're both complete opposites but get on so well. We've cried together laughed together and he waited 4 months before we had sex. If you didn't know anything about the people...
A. 3 September 2010: I'd figure he'd have to be pretty rich.... (read in full...)
I want what we had before I found out my husband went to a strip club!
Q. I asked a question and received a few responses. Thank-you. I have been to counseling about my husband going to the strip clubs when he was working out on the road and drunk. I have had to stop going to counseling because i had surgery. I have ...
A. 1 September 2010: My compliments to Universe Man -- those were great points.
In my younger days I had a friend who chose to spend a great deal of time in such places, so if we were going out for a beer on Saturday that's where we went. I doubt things have changed ... (read in full...)
Anyone else have a seemingly perfect life and being unhappy inside?
Q. Is there anyone out there who looks (from the outside) that their life is really working perfectly for them? Is there anyone out there that is successful, accomplished and in a so-called great relationship, but isn't truely happy? It seems that ...
A. 31 August 2010: I think what you're describing is incredibly common. Look, as much as you're encouraged to be open and get help if you're unhappy, the fact is that people want to project an image of success. Admitting that things are less than perfect conflicts ... (read in full...)
My daughter is feeling left out! What should I do?
Q. Feeling Very Hurt and Left Out I helped someone out with her daughter lots of times, and I became friends with the mom. We went to our kids' activities together and we invited her daughter over as she was the same age as my daughter. M...
A. 31 August 2010: As parents we want to do anything we can to help our kids. When our child is shy it hurts us to see them not be included, to seem to be not forming the independent friendships we know to be so valuable. But -- you can't force a friendship. It's ... (read in full...)
Freaked out BF in bed and he left!
Q. ok -- this is going to take a second so I will do a TL;DR. first, this is a throwaway account b/c... so, here's the deal: tonight I totally freaked out my boyfriend. I had hidden a piece of a hot dog (about 2 inches) which I had broken off before ...
A. 30 August 2010: You misjudged his sense of humour, big time. He may never get over it, tbh.... (read in full...)
Classy photos just for me?
Q. I want to take boudoir style photos of my self, because i think they are really classy. I want them just for me the only problem is that I am only 16 and is it really that wrong to want to take photos just for me? That are very classy photos? ...
A. 30 August 2010: I think it's a brilliant idea. You will be *so* glad to have those photos later on in life. Imagine showing them to your husband on your 25th wedding anniversary -- he'll be thrilled.
Your replies show that you have good sense, so you're n... (read in full...)
Stepchild Dilema
Q. My 20 year old son from a prior marriage asked to live with my husband and I for a short time as he unexpectedly landed a job near our house and the commute from his home was too long. My son had 2 days notice before starting so the notice to me ...
A. 26 August 2010: Your husband shouldn't have put you in the situation of having to choose between him and your son. Marrying you was a package deal -- he knew you had children and that your relationship with them was important to you. The fact that he pulled this ... (read in full...)
How do guys feel about clevage enhancing bra's?
Q. Hi, I'd like some opinions, especially from guys out there, about cleavage-enhacing bras. I normally wear a padded, water-filled bra when I go out, which makes my breasts look one cup size bigger than they are...so I've been doing this whilst ...
A. 25 August 2010: If it's only one cup size I wouldn't worry about it.... (read in full...)
Should I help pay for my new stepdaughter's college?
Q. I am a male in the USA in my 40's. I plan on getting married again in a few months. I have 2 young sons age 9 and 6. I pay support for them and see them 3 times a week. One child likes my GF the other one does not. She also does not get along with ...
A. 24 August 2010: Having separate bank accounts in a first marriage speaks to me of lack of commitment. In a second marriage it can be quite a different matter.
You haven't told us what sort of understanding you have with your fiance. Is she marrying you with the... (read in full...)
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