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... Send *. Grant a private message | | | *. Grant's profile:Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can. |
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I said I'd have sex with this player, and don't know how to get out of it
Q. So I'm 14 , and theres this guy I really like , hes 15 We had a little thing going on at the beginning but then he went out with one of my friends. He's a player and really only wants a girl to put out for him , thing is i said I would , it all star...
A. 13 May 2010: I have to wonder why you "think a lot of him", and why you'd want him to like you. He dumped a girl because she wouldn't spread her legs? And, at 15, has the nerve to ask you when he's going to get his fuck?
You're right to be scared, and abso... (read in full...)
Do you think he should break up with me?
Q. Ok, first of all, I don't want any silly comments like: "you're an idiot, he should dump you, dumb b*tch." I already know. Anyways, so I went to Mexico without my boyfriend (we have been dating for a year and a half) and one night I got really ...
A. 12 May 2010: Not the best judgment, perhaps, but hardly a reason to break up. Like he's never done anything dumb?... (read in full...)
Lately, my husband's lovemaking behaviors have been different! Just wondering why this has happened?
Q. My husband and I have been together for 7 yrs married for 5yr. We have always had a great relationship and a great sex life. Recently he got a new job that takes him out of town for the first week of every month. Ever since he came home the last ...
A. 11 May 2010: I think you're quite right, his behaviour is a flag. Not conclusive by any means, but definitely a flag. Keep your eyes open for other signs, but it's far too soon to accuse him of anything.... (read in full...)
Can I tell my teacher I love her like a mother?
Q. My Spanish teacher this year is like a mother to me. I love her like a second mom. Would it be weird if I told her that when I graduate next year? Do you think it would "creep her out"? Because I really want her to know how much of a positive impact ...
A. 9 May 2010: That would be a simply wonderful thing for you to do. Teachers want to know that they've made a difference. Hearing it from a student is the best reward they can hope for. As others have said, I wouldn't quite phrase it as the title suggests. ... (read in full...)
What I see in my police job makes me afraid for my own kids
Q. I am a father of 3 teenage children 1 son and 2 daughters (13, 15 and 16) I am also a police officer. Over the past year we have been called to many parties with underage drinking/and or fights and once we got there we found live sex, orgies, group ...
A. 9 May 2010: A couple of thoughts. A good friend of ours has a long history in social work and association with a children's hospital. One of the sources of tension in our friendship is her over-protectiveness -- she's seen all sorts of awful things that can ... (read in full...)
16, think I"m pregnant, can't tell dad and abortion is not an option! HELP!
Q. I'm 16 and I'm pregnet I know your going to say how stuped she is I know already I am any way my bf is with me all the way I just am soo scard to tell my dad I can't tell him I get scard and walk away I'm not aborshinig the baby it is wrong or ...
A. 7 May 2010: You might want to think through how you want to talk to your Dad. You say that you won't have an abortion -- OK, that's perfectly fair, it's not for everyone. But you also say you won't put the baby up for adoption.
So what you father is going... (read in full...)
He can only cum once is that normal?
Q. My boyfriend can only ejaculate once in a day, or so. Last weekend we had sex on the friday at about 5.00. I stayed the night and we had sex again in the morning at about 11. The thing is he couldn't come. We had sex for about 40 minutes, then he ...
A. 6 May 2010: I think for 17 that it's unusual. I had a really great weekend at 18 where we went 12 times in about as many hours. Don't know if that's normal either, but the once in 24 thing sounds more like middle age than teenage.... (read in full...)
I want to have some fun, but I'm really not trying to lead them on
Q. i know that i will probably get some not so nice feedback for this, but i need help. Right now i am "playing the field" i am "seeing" two guys right now. i have let both of them know that i am not into having anything serious. however, both of them ...
A. 6 May 2010: As far as the guy who is making a choice about his life because of you, you need to be completely up front. Don't let him make a decision based upon you when you're still playing around.... (read in full...)
Pregnant despite an IUD, he's saying don't keep the child
Q. I am currently 7wks and 2days pregnant but I also have an IUD!! I am 23 and I have two kids already. I got pregnant at 15 and 16yrs old. My sons are now 5 and 7. My boyfriend of 2yrs is 30yrs old and has four children with his previous wife. So we ...
A. 6 May 2010: Oh hun, you're in a tough spot. If abortion is something you can't live with, then be true to yourself. Regardless of what he and his family say, you have to live with *you* for the rest of your life.
But adoption? I've thought of this myself, ... (read in full...)
How can a man become totally nonsexual toward his wife in one day?
Q. How can a man can totally become nonsexual toward his wife from one day to the next? My husband once lost his erection in the middle of intercourse,and since than he is like a different guy.It was like a spell.. I really think it is weird,be...
A. 6 May 2010: If he's over 40, and if this is the first time it's happened, he just might have been confronted in a very serious way that he's aging. And that can have serious cascade effects on his psyche.
It happens to every guy at some point. The brain is... (read in full...)
Penis with a mind of its own!
Q. I am a 34 year old male that likes to have sex, i have had a few different partners over the years, some i can keep it hard for extended periods, other times it gets almost hard but still able to satisfy, other times he just don't work at all... ...
A. 5 May 2010: They really aren't very dependable pieces of equipment, at least not after you're 15.
In my experience, some of it is physical -- if you're tired or stressed, for example, it can easily affect the quality of an erection. Alcohol doesn't generall... (read in full...)
Does it make me gay if I want oral sex with another guy?
Q. i have always considered myself straight. I find the idea of sex with girls extremely arousing. However recently i have been finding the idea of giving ang recieving blowjobs to/from other males. In particular gettting the ejaculate on my face. I...
A. 4 May 2010: Sounds to me like you're just wanting to experiment, to try different things. That's what you're supposed to do before you make a monogamous committment to someone. Don't worry about the labels -- gay, bi, whatever. If it's an itch, scratch it. ... (read in full...)
He's so great that I'm coming across as over-enthusiastic
Q. i was introduced to a this really nice guy who's a lot like me. he's like me as well in the way that he doesn't quite like overly peppy people or people who smile the whole time. unfortunately when we meet i can't help but smile because he seems far ...
A. 1 May 2010: If he hears that you think he's the best thing to have happened to you in forever, you're giving him a compliment that will make his day (and then some). The 'high' that comes with a new relationship isn't the fake thing that you both dislike -- ... (read in full...)
Poll for men concerning porn
Q. Quick poll for the men, how many of you look at porn when you're in a relationship? How many of you lie about your porn use? How many continue to use porn despite being asked not to? How many of you would actually stop if she asked? How many have ...
A. 1 May 2010: LOL, you're looking for simple answers, as if hundreds of posts on DC, with thousands of answers, hadn't already covered the bases.
I suspect that the reason you haven't had any answers yet is because "it depends." It depends on the relation... (read in full...)
How can I back down and tell my daughter I am sorry?
Q. My only daughter has always been my baby girl. Ever since she was just a little girl she talked about beign a princess on her wedding day. I always told her that I would make her a princess on that day, I just didn't think that day would come so ...
A. 1 May 2010: Oh my. I hear you. I went looking for the manual when my daughter was born -- guess you didn't have any more luck finding it than I did.
My instinct would be the same as yours -- she's too young, this is a mistake, it's likely to end in tears.
... (read in full...)
Videotapes of wife with ex....
Q. I found a video of my wife with an ex, she says she thought they had been erased. I knew they had sex and that my wife wasn't a virgin, so I am not so disappointed by that, but rather in the video he finished by giving her a facial. I always ...
A. 30 April 2010: She may simply have been young and experimenting. She may have not yet been self-confident enough to refuse things she didn't like. Or she may have decided on the basis of that experience that she didn't like it. The only way you'll ever know for ... (read in full...)
I want to wait until marriage for sex, how can I resist temptation?
Q. I'm 22, and I finally have a boyfriend, and just lost my first kiss about a year ago. I have always said I'd wait till marriage before sex, but I keep getting tempted. I moved in with him because I had no where else to go. Which is really not help...
A. 29 April 2010: I generally applaud the idea of waiting until marriage. I think it's a useful message to send to teens in particular. As people get to their mid 20s, however, I wonder if the value of the concept doesn't wear a bit thin?
The idea of waiting ... (read in full...)
I feel fatter every time I eat even a bite of food!
Q. is there something wrong with me? i feel like the fattest person in the world at 48 kg, i know that's not fat or over weight, but everytime i look in the mirror i see a horrible, ugly, disgusting fat creature. my mom says i have a regular body but i ...
A. 27 April 2010: Kiddo, you're not crazy -- all kinds of girls have the same idea. But it *is* a problem, because you think there's something wrong. You're perfectly alright as you are. 48 kilos at your age is just around where you should be. I can only imagine ... (read in full...)
Too hairy down there?
Q. im really hairy down there.. good, bad? im a 16 year old girl and ive been getting really close to this guy he wants to finger me and see me naked but im too scared of him seeing me down there. also i dont know how to ask him if its ok that ...
A. 27 April 2010: Hon, if you're not comfortable talking about your concern, then you're really not ready to be getting naked with him.
If you're "too scared of him seeing me down there" then you shouldn't be doing it.
The fact that the conversation is ... (read in full...)
Did I open Pandora's box?
Q. I find myself in a bit of a jam. I have been dating my man for some time now. We have had threesomes in the past, however I do not want to do that anymore and I want to be in a committed relationship with him. A.K.A. monogamous. Thing is he knows ...
A. 27 April 2010: All I can tell you is from my own experience. And that would be 180 deg. from what you describe.
After 20 years, ya, I might imagine opening things up to 'fun and games', after a great many years of having established a relationship, committm... (read in full...)
She told me she needs at least 6"
Q. Huge problem. I have small penis 4in when fully react. I had two previous girlfriends tell mr when can't feel anything it's too small. I know the foreplay part but doesn't work. Now I been with a sweet girl for 6 months she say im her everything. ...
A. 27 April 2010: I've never been with a girl who got out a ruler.
Simply put, you're with the wrong girls. If they're telling you that all the foreplay, all the oral, all the other stuff doesn't do it, then you're with the wrong girls. I'm willing to bet you ... (read in full...)
Desperate at 13 for a cute girl who isn't a bitch!
Q. im desperate for a cute girl who is not a bitch, im only thirteen and i have no idea what a 13 year old pretty,preppy, hockey playing girl would want in a guy, her past boyfriends are all good looking, kind of douche bags and many are hockey ...
A. 27 April 2010: Chill, man. The girls you describe as "bitches" are the ones going after the big-deal guys only because of status.
If you act all cocky and such, you'll attract a girl that you don't want. If you're a good guy, then treat girls that way -- b... (read in full...)
13 year old boy cant stop thinking about masterbating..
Q. *OP's own title* ok, i am 13 years old and i recently hit puberty to the point where i can now ejaculate, its been about 1 and a half months and since the first time i did ejaculate, i have not been able to stop myself from masterbating on a dail...
A. 27 April 2010: OK, for starters, what you're feeling is perfectly normal and natural. You're being hit with a huge flood of hormones. The way to deal with it in a normal and healthy way is to masturbate.
This is a normal and natural thing. But it's also a p... (read in full...)
Controlling boyfriend.
Q. Please help me, my boyfriend is from iraq, (non-muslim), and he's very controlling, he states this is his culture hoWever I believe it may actually be his personal issues. He doesn't let me go outside without him, even across to the local shop, his ...
A. 27 April 2010: Your choice is to accept that he will try to control you for the duration of your relationship, or to leave. There is no middle ground. ... (read in full...)
Why did wife lie about her past? I have a right to know!
Q. I found out my wife lied to me about how many guys she slept with before me. When the topic first came up when we were dating she told me there was three. I had a very hard time with this because i felt very insecure about myself. At that point i ...
A. 27 April 2010: OK, your problem with this is what, exactly?
Are you concerned that somehow you won't measure up against the experiences she's had before? Well, she *chose* to marry you, to commit to you for the rest of your lives. Personally I would take tha... (read in full...)
Inexperienced and come too quick.. is this a problem?
Q. I'm 17 and have only just got my first proper girlfriend, and until recently, sorry to be crude, have never been jerked off by a girl before. So my girlfriend has jerked me off three times, and after rubbing my penis either over my underwear, or...
A. 27 April 2010: Clearly q knows whereof he speaks. ;)... (read in full...)
His kinkiness is freaking me out a little!
Q. I met a man through a friend. We have not met yet. We have been trying to get to know oneanother though emails and text for several months. I am very attracted to him probably because opposites attract. i am on the conservative side with a little ...
A. 26 April 2010: I would just let it go. It sounds like you two are on different tracks. He wants to show it all off on the webcam before you've ever met face to face. You might be open to stuff, but you'd prefer to develop a more conventional relationship first ... (read in full...)
Inexperienced and come too quick.. is this a problem?
Q. I'm 17 and have only just got my first proper girlfriend, and until recently, sorry to be crude, have never been jerked off by a girl before. So my girlfriend has jerked me off three times, and after rubbing my penis either over my underwear, or...
A. 26 April 2010: It's hardly a problem under these circumstances. If you last too long during a hand job, she doesn't get more pleasure, she gets a sore arm. Same with a bj, if you get there. If you guys keep doing these things, you'll become more accustomed to ... (read in full...)
How can I catch my wife out?
Q. i am in uk. my wife living in her mothers home in india along with her brother. i am suspecting she is doing sex with her own brother while i am doing phonesex with her. how can i caught her please help me....
A. 26 April 2010: Switch to using Skype and make them video calls using webcams.... (read in full...)
His kinkiness is freaking me out a little!
Q. I met a man through a friend. We have not met yet. We have been trying to get to know oneanother though emails and text for several months. I am very attracted to him probably because opposites attract. i am on the conservative side with a little ...
A. 26 April 2010: "Normal" is whatever you're comfortable with.
Sexuality is an amazing, personal thing. It can certainly evolve over time. I'm just not sure how well it can genuinely evolve if you're facing pressure, if someone is pushing at the edge of your com... (read in full...)
Will he think I am bad in bed because I am a virgin?
Q. I'm 20 years old and still a virgin. A bit lame I know but I've been waiting for the right person. Recently I've started kind of seeing a man i think might be the right person, the only problem is i really dont want to tell him i'm a virgin or ...
A. 25 April 2010: Enthusiasm trumps experience every time. Just be into it.... (read in full...)
Are fetishes a normal part of a sexual relationship?
Q. Hey guys and girls, Are fetishes a normal part of a sexual relationship? ...
A. 25 April 2010: For some people a "fetish" is anything beyond missionary with the lights out. You really need to be a bit more specific. Usually people ask this question when they're being asked to do something they're not comfortable with.
Geez, Yankit, ... (read in full...)
How do I stop my step dad bullying me?
Q. My step dad always says nasty and spiteful things to me. He belittles me and tells me that I'm going to fail school because I'm too stupid and he also tells me that I'm never gonna get a girlfriend because no woman would want me, my mom hears him ...
A. 25 April 2010: As a father with a son, I do understand the 'man up' comment -- at some point we do have to develop thick skins to deal with the world. From how you describe your step-father, his approach isn't helping you to do that at all. If he's ... (read in full...)
My dad's best friend is becoming too forward with me
Q. I am unsure of what to do in an increasingly complex situation. Theres this man who works for my dad, has done for the last 5 years. He has lived with us for 2, as his 'home' its too far to travel every day to work, he goes home to his wife at the ...
A. 24 April 2010: If I was your dad I'd want to know. So tell him. He ought to take this cad aside and have sharp words with him. You're being harrassed, and no one deserves that.... (read in full...)
When he's nice he treats me like a princess ...
Q. I really need advice about my relationship with my boyfriend (I'm 16 and he's 17). I've been with him for just over 6 months and I love him too pieces. However saying this it kills me the way he is with me. He told me I wasn't allowed to see my l...
A. 24 April 2010: Please listen to the female anon who was the first to reply. This guy is controlling, and relationships with guys like that end badly. There are good guys out there who will treat you like a princess 24/7. Please find one of them.... (read in full...)
20 year age gap in a relationship..thoughts?
Q. I'm 21 and he is 44. We have been dating for 3 years. We went to tell my parents together about a year after we first started dating but I got mixed signals from my parents on the subject so I decided to wait until I was 21 to tell them. We'r...
A. 24 April 2010: I don't know if you want to have kids eventually, but I thought I'd pass this along FYI.
When my father was 50 he married a woman who was around 30. Dad adored kids, so was very happy to start a new family. And when the two boys were little, ... (read in full...)
Why do men go limp at times?
Q. HI I AM JUST CURIOUS..WHAT CAUSES A MAN TO GO LIMP?DURING SEX AND BEFORE SEX?...
A. 23 April 2010: Maybe you SHOUTING ABOUT IT.... (read in full...)
Can a married man have a platonic relationship with another woman?
Q. My husband reconnected with an old high school friend whose a girl. The've had two lunch dates together since they've met in Sept 09 and they continue to communicate over the phone or facebook. The girl is also married and my husband tells me that ...
A. 23 April 2010: Can it be platonic? Yes.
He had a crush on her 30 years ago. The chance that the crush could be rekindled 30 years later is, if not nil, close to it. Way too much water has passed under the bridge. Your husband is no where near the person h... (read in full...)
Problems already in a new relationship! Move on?
Q. MOD NOTE: 2 posts combined...1st post..I have been in a relationship for about 6weeks and already had a few problems. I thought he was divorced, but it turns out he has only been separated from his wife since christmas, and she rang me to warn me ...
A. 22 April 2010: If this were a relationship of longer-standing, in which you'd made more of an investment and fundamentally knew the guy better, I'd suggest you stick with it. But you're getting warning signs right off the bat. The fact that he wasn't truthful ... (read in full...)
How do I make myself seem sick so I don't have to go visit his family?
Q. I am supposed to go up north (Michigan) with my boyfriend's dads side of the family. i don't want to go because he has never been close with them and it's uncomfortable. The last time i went i had a horrible time. I want to make my boyfriend think i ...
A. 22 April 2010: OK, looks like you need a contrary opinion here. First, it's not like you're married. You're just dating, so you haven't made the sort of lifetime commitment that could be undermined by something less than total candour. Second, you've done this ... (read in full...)
He's trying to talk me into a threesome
Q. I need some advice on something girls an guys... me an my boyfriend been together for 3 years we have a 8 month old baby together and he has been asking me to have a 3 some with another girl! I don't what to do I feel it can ruin our relationship ...
A. 22 April 2010: He's feeding you nonsense, and doesn't seem to have any respect for the mother of his child. Don't do anything you don't want to, no matter how much he whines.... (read in full...)
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