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I'm now graduated as a Physiotherapist and am working fairly near to London and I have to say its fantastic. Now that I have a little time on my hands, i'm free to work as an agony uncle once again:-)
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How do I handle this jealousy problem?
Q. I'm 30 a year old male and in a relationship with a wonderful attractive 25 year old female who adores me and I adore her. I've always had jealousy issues with ex's liking other people/celebrities and I've never managed to get rid of it. My girlfr...
A. 14 August 2007: The fact that you are prepared to not let yourself do it, is something you should be proud of. Not many men do that these days. Very commendable. However, if that's her initial reaction when looking at someone, then unfortunately you cannot chang... (read in full...)
How do I handle this jealousy problem?
Q. I'm 30 a year old male and in a relationship with a wonderful attractive 25 year old female who adores me and I adore her. I've always had jealousy issues with ex's liking other people/celebrities and I've never managed to get rid of it. My girlfr...
A. 12 August 2007: Hmm, okay. How often does she say that someone she sees at work is handsome?
Doing the "mental slap in the face" technique is good, but as you say it obviously isn't working as much as I had hoped. When you feel these pangs you say you feel str... (read in full...)
How do I handle this jealousy problem?
Q. I'm 30 a year old male and in a relationship with a wonderful attractive 25 year old female who adores me and I adore her. I've always had jealousy issues with ex's liking other people/celebrities and I've never managed to get rid of it. My girlfr...
A. 11 August 2007: Hi there,
I understand completely where you are coming from. When you find someone absolutely incredible you become very protective of them. It is natural after all and is part of our psyche. You find it amazing that they are with you and you are ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Anti-spam technology now live :-)
Q. Hi everyone After the recent spate of "spammings" I've introduced some anti-spam measures. I don't want to go into them all in detail here but there are numerous systems in place now to help stop, mitigate and allow you to report spam. The...
A. 11 August 2007: Good work!:-)... (read in full...)
Do you think I'm just a naturally selfish/horrible person???
Q. Last night, I came home and mum said I need to get some respect. I haven't once hoovered, cooked tea for her etc, I never text my gran or sister/brother or go and see them, she says I use people for what they've got, and am always negative about ...
A. 11 August 2007: Goodness no, I don't think you're a naturally selfish person. I'm the same in some respects. It could be something like you enjoy your independence and so don't appreciate being told what to do at home. Also, is University life good, or is it ... (read in full...)
What can I do to comfort my friend and not make him upset?
Q. Hey Well, the problem is one of my best friends used to like me and flirted with me quite a bit but we knew it wouldn't work as i'm still 14 an he's 16 and its hard because our families are so close. Its been a while since then and he's just sta...
A. 9 August 2007: There is a possibility he still likes you, especially if it was "forbidden" love a while ago. However, I think you are being a great friend to him. He said that he just needed to talk to someone and you went immediately. Most of all, he wanted to ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so jealous?
Q. This is my problem. My boyfriend swears up and down that he would never cheat on me, but he has done a lot of things to make me jealous, it has gotten to the point where it seems all that all I am is jealous. We fight almost all the time now. It is ...
A. 4 August 2007: Don't worry about feeling immature. We ALL have the feelings you described. Sometimes it helps having another few people tell you what you really know in your heart. I cannot tell you how pleased I am about his reaction. Well done to you too. It ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so jealous?
Q. This is my problem. My boyfriend swears up and down that he would never cheat on me, but he has done a lot of things to make me jealous, it has gotten to the point where it seems all that all I am is jealous. We fight almost all the time now. It is ...
A. 3 August 2007: That is my pleasure but my motivation doesn't come through ratings but results. Thank you anyway as it is much appreciated!:-) You said that he knows he can control you. By this, i'm assuming that he knows how to persuade you to do things you don't ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so jealous?
Q. This is my problem. My boyfriend swears up and down that he would never cheat on me, but he has done a lot of things to make me jealous, it has gotten to the point where it seems all that all I am is jealous. We fight almost all the time now. It is ...
A. 3 August 2007: I have been in a very similar situation to you. The process is long but it's very worthwhile. It is very important to stop these feelings of jealousy as the relationship will break down irrevocably as a result. What exactly has he done to make you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't get rid of his porn collection. Should I find someone else?
Q. Another porn question. My boyfriend of 16 months has thousand of porn pics/clips. He says that it was from the years he was single, however all the material he has makes me wonder how long everyday he would look at it and get off to it. When we ...
A. 31 July 2007: I don't think you should find someone else, unless you feel that the relationship has irrevocably suffered as a result. I'm going to be honest with you, confessing things I wouldn't usually confess, since I can imagine your anguish in this ... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend may have cheated on me. Here are the signs...
Q. Okay, I'm worried about a cheating significant other, too. I have trust issues in general, but the thing is my current girl (fiance, actually) who I have been with for two years now almost has this close male friend. They've been friends since hi...
A. 30 July 2007: In summary, I don't think she is cheating on you. I used to have trust issues in my relationships and to be honest the thoughts take up so much of the relationship that you can't think of anything else. You can't relax with your significant other ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Video introduction to the site from Andrew, site founder!
Q. Message from Andrew, site founder: (let me know your comments!)...
A. 20 May 2007: Great job Andrew. It's good to finally see the guy that started all this. Well done to you.... (read in full...)
I am a 25 year old male virgin and have no desire for sex.
Q. I have no desire for sex, does that mean I’m doomed to live a life alone? I’m a 25 year old guy, still a virgin, and I have never had the desire to have sex. However, even though I am happy to remain celibate because of this, has it doomed my cha...
A. 22 April 2007: I would'nt say that this would affect your relationships in the future at all. Whilst some people regard sex as the be all and end all in a relationship, it really isn't. Quite a lot of people prefer to abstain from sex until marriage either through ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to ask a man for his phone number?
Q. hi , is it wrong to ask a man for his phone number friday night i was out and saw this man i know from work hes a customer we was talking then we hung out with him and his mates when we was going i asked for his number i dont normally do that i ...
A. 22 April 2007: I think it's a great idea to ask a guy for his phone number. For a start he's unlikely to expect it thus flattering him immensely and also the shy guys would welcome interest from a woman.
ZIM... (read in full...)
He's moving away for a year, I didnt tell him how I felt, have I blown my chance ?
Q. The guy im in love with, is moving today to another city. we met yesterday to say goodbye. we are not in a relationship. we are very good friends. we spoke for a while, and then he had to go, and we hugged. he whispered in my ear that he is going...
A. 22 April 2007: Hmm, I think he does know that you miss him. If you're that close with someone you're going to miss them. Believe me, i'm going through something similar at the moment.
By the sounds of it he has very strong feelings for you. From what I read, it... (read in full...)
Can anyone help with this depression and this sinking feeling, its taking over!!
Q. i still need advice,i used to be the most cheerful person youd ever meet but ive been battling depression for quite a while now,almost 5 months,it started out severe, i couldnt eat i couldt sleep couldnt concentrate i was just very negative. Its not ...
A. 13 April 2007: Everyone goes through something similar to this. What is important is that you see your family doctor about it. There may be routes he can suggest that you haven't thought of. If the problem is not physical then it is likely he will refer you to a ... (read in full...)
Im just naturally thin, and no matter what I do I cant gain weight! Is there anything I can do ?
Q. hey all. i am a 16yr old 5'4 girl who wears a UK size 6 or 4 (i have been thin all my life) and am finding it extremly hard to find clothes to fit me. i eat everything so i dont understand why i am so thin. when i was younger it wasn't such a big ...
A. 13 April 2007: You can go to the doctor if you feel it will allay your fears, and to be honest I would do it anyway just to check.
However, you appear to have the same thing as me, a very high metabolism. I eat enough for about two people yet I never put on w... (read in full...)
Chatting on line for a while, How do I go about asking her if she wants to meet ?
Q. ive been talking to this girl on the internet for a few weeks now. i would really like to meet her but i dont know on how about asking her, or if she wants to meet or not. how should i ask?...
A. 13 April 2007: I'm assuming you are going through an online dating site or a chat room? Either way the process is just the same. Quite a few of the people who go onto these websites are nervous and shy about meeting up because, after all, it probably is an ... (read in full...)
Why was everyone staring at me? I feel so self conscious now!
Q. this is a thing about being self concious. recently i bought this gorgeous black and white dress from BAY.i thot - it doesnt look too flashy, its fairly simple, the length goes down to my knees and no boobs are showing and its quite fashiona...
A. 12 April 2007: It sounds like you looked amazing! I can understand your feelings as you are a shy person and don't generally want the attention, but I think its a very good chance that you looked stunning to the people that saw you. Take it as a compliment, you ... (read in full...)
I am a small B-cup so what I want to know is do some guys prefer small breasts?
Q. Dear cupid, sorry i know this is a boring question. now i dont compare myself to my friends or anyone else for that matter as i would rather be just me. It seems though, that when we're out almost all the guys go for them as almost all of them are ...
A. 12 April 2007: The size of a woman's breasts don't really mean much to me. Saying that, and you might not believe me, I really value the person inside. In the last relationship I was in, the girl became more and more beautiful every time I saw her, because I cared ... (read in full...)
My dad "touches" me but when I tell him no, he goes into a tantrum!
Q. Well I have had this problem since around age 12 I am 15 now. I do not like my dad touching me as he holds me like my bf on my hips want to hum him plevis to pelvis. He use to be worse by sometimes just opening the shower curtain on me and making ...
A. 12 April 2007: Hmm this could be a very fragile situation. Is your mother present when these things happen?
Tell your mother every time he does something that you believe to be improper and really let her know that you are uncomfortable with it. Perhaps since yo... (read in full...)
He survived his cancer and I want to date him now-how do I let him know this?
Q. Hello everyone, Okay... There's this guy who I've known for a little over 7 years. Three years ago he had wanted to start a relationship with me which caught me by total surprise since I never looked at him in that way. He is a very great guy but ...
A. 12 April 2007: I would recommend being honest with him. He liked you enough in the past to want to start a relationship with you. It can't hurt to ask him if he would like to have one now can it? He won't have a problem with you saying no before, your reasons are ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her out?
Q. Hi Guys, Well where do I start, in My local cafe there is a beautiful girl who i used to see with her dad when she was in for a drink sometimes and when I went in today I found she has started working there, well to describe her she is simp...
A. 12 April 2007: Well, if you both went to the same local cafe for quite a while there's a very good chance of her knowing you, at least by face. This is a good thing. It will help with the initial trust thing. It's obvious that you like this girl very much so I ... (read in full...)
How do I show the mother of my children that I still care for her?
Q. I have been in a relationship with the mother of my children on and off for the past ten years. We have not been together the last 2 years, but it seems as we have had the same relationship as always. The past few months I have realized that with ...
A. 9 April 2007: You need to tell her your feelings. There's no point in waiting around and hoping because she won't know unless you tell her yourself. Like AskEve asked, what was the reason behind your break up?... (read in full...)
I'm an 18 year old virgin and I freak out and stop whenever I'm about to lose it!
Q. im nearly 18! and still a virgin and every1 thinks that i am not cause of the way i come over (but i havnt told them i am a virgin 2 be honest) anywayss i have been in the situation many times!! but some how it always doesnt happen! i always stop! ...
A. 10 January 2007: I was in your position once. I wanted to lose my virginity but something always made me stop. Admittedly I never got into a situation where I could lose it, but, yes there was a time when I wanted to very badly.
Now i'm a virgin myself, at 20, a... (read in full...)
Is he going out with someone?
Q. im 13 and there is this boy i like and i dont know if he is going out with someone. How do i find out without asking him?...
A. 9 January 2007: This can be done very easily. Ask a friend of his, or yours that you can trust to ask him if he is going out with anyone. Apart from asking him yourself, there is really no other way I can think of. However, it should be noticeable if he is going ... (read in full...)
he kissed me goodnight on the cheek! Does that mean he's "not" interested?
Q. hey Meet this guy and he is so sweet was the perfect gentlemen during the date, but l was so shy and quite and they where very quite moments during the date, but opened up as the date was coming to an end, but when he dropped me off he shook my ...
A. 8 January 2007: This guy sounds like he does the same thing I do. I never kiss a girl on the lips on a first date because I want them to know that I like them a lot for who they are inside, not just how attractive they look. I think he was just trying to show you ... (read in full...)
New boyfriend and I want to hug him but don't know when!
Q. hi. i have got a new b/f and we have been together for about 3 days lol. well i want to hug him and hold his hand and stuff. he held my hand the other day. but i really wanna hug him when i say goodbye to him and stuff. but what do i do, do i ju...
A. 7 January 2007: Aw bless. You sound like a sweet girl. You shouldn't need to worry however. Hugging someone is a wonderful thing that makes them feel wanted and liked. In a sense, it makes them feel warm inside. That's what happens to me anyway.
The likeliho... (read in full...)
Met an attractive man at a party. He lives a fair distance away, but should I contact him?
Q. Thank you in advance to all who answer this. I broke up with my partner about a year ago. I went to visit friends last week and spotted an attractive man across a room. I noticed him but decided to leave the party anyway. He followed me outside. We ...
A. 7 January 2007: Live your live to the full. You don't get another chance. It is obvious that you like this man a lot and you would like to take it into a relationship. Obviously you are a little concerned with the distance and that is completely understandable. You ... (read in full...)
We get on so well and I want to take it further. Why did he say he liked someone else though?
Q. There's this guy at my school, that i really like,and i have known him since September, and we're really good friends.I was convinced that he liked me too, until his friends teased him about fancying me, and he said that he fancied someone else ...
A. 7 January 2007: I would say there is a very definite possibility that he likes you. When I was at school, at least when I was a teenager, whenever friends teased me about whether I liked a girl, especially if she was in the same room, I would deny it. Just because ... (read in full...)
She hangs with her ex bf and I don't like it! What should I do?
Q. i have been seeing my current girlfriend now for two months. she hangs out with her ex when i am not around and she invites him over to her house even when i am there. i have told her that i don't think it's right but she says they are just friends ...
A. 2 January 2007: I'm currently on the flip side of this kind of situation, i.e. the ex who is also a friend. I just thought i'd answer this because it might help you to see a different side of the picture. My last girlfriend and I both went through a lot together ... (read in full...)
29 and having real problems getting a girlfriend!
Q. Hi, I have a real problem with getting a girlfriend. I'm nearly 29 and haven't had a girlfriend for over 5 years now! I'm really starting to feel that there's something wrong with me and Im starting to panic and feel desperate to meet someone....
A. 29 December 2006: Firstly, there is nothing wrong with you. I know exactly how you feel, because I used to feel that way every single day. Don't ignore or neglect responsibilities like work and friends. For a start, you will need to put on a good show at work to keep ... (read in full...)
Is watching porn like cheating on your spouse?
Q. If your spouse believes porn is cheating and you are watching it are you committing adultery?...
A. 18 December 2006: It can depend on two things really. Your spouse's religion and your spouse's feelings. Lets start with her feelings:
The majority of people who watch porn, I would imagine, do not think it is cheating. However, since your spouse is the one pers... (read in full...)
Tips needed on how to talk to a boy on the phone. I never have anything to say!
Q. i just started dating this boy and everytime when we are on the phone i have nothing to say. can u help me?...
A. 18 December 2006: Aw, I remember being in that situation. If i'm right, you are very fond of this boy and you don't want to do anything that might make him think less of you is that right? Well, from someone who's been in that kind of situation, I would recommend ... (read in full...)
Call for moderators to help out with DearCupid!
Q. Hi everyone, This is another appeal for volunteers to be moderators. You get to approve and categorise questions and approve answers. If you could spare say ten minutes a few times a week, then this could be for you! Just add your name in thi...
A. 17 December 2006: Heya. I'm definitely keen to become a moderator. That is, if you need any more people of course... (read in full...)
Are you single? Please reply here!
Q. Hi everyone Andrew, site guy here.. Just doing a poll to see how many visitors to the site are SINGLE and would be interested in a (free, of course) DearCupid dating service. Just reply to this post. Thanks! A....
A. 6 December 2006: yea, i'd be interested in a free dating service. When do you think it would happen?... (read in full...)
How do I go about finding someone who is also a virgin???
Q. Hi, I've been looking for someone who shares a similar sexual history as myself. I am a virgin and want to meet a girl who is as well. In fact my desire to be with another virgin is the primary reason I have waited. I think it would be a bit h...
A. 6 December 2006: First of well done for staying a virgin! I'm in the same situation as you albeit a little younger. I'm a Christian so I am still a virgin. I know how you are feeling. You want someone who has kept themselves for you but is also compatible. Since ... (read in full...)
I am so lonely and sick of guys only wanting me for my nice body!
Q. Wow... drama drama drama.... I hate it.... me and my ex will never get back together and I realizie that now! But with everyone around me in a relationship its hard to always keep a smile on! I mean I do but its fake..... and I will admit I am still ...
A. 6 December 2006: If it helps, I know what you are going through to some respect. I had a break up fairly recently and I thought we were really close so it was quite a shock to the system and you're right, you do feel like there is a "void" where the happiness once ... (read in full...)
I'm 20, still a virgin and my last BF left me for that reason!
Q. I am 20 years old and still a virgin, all of my friends lost their virginity a few years ago. I have had a few boyfriends and have had chances to loose my virginity but have always been too shy to. A guy I was seeing recently broke up with me after ...
A. 6 December 2006: Firstly you will not be put on the shelf for just being a virgin. I'm 20 myself and a virgin. I'm proud of the fact. I've too had chances when I could have lost my virginity but at first I was unsure about it and then the later reasons for not ... (read in full...)
We keep poking each other. Do you think he fancies me?
Q. hi im 16 and im friends with this boy and when i queue up to get my lunch in the canteen everyday we queue up together. it is quite crowded in the queue. i always stand infront of him while he is talking to me from behind me. he always moves right ...
A. 6 December 2006: I would definitely say there is a good chance that he likes you. I agree with Bonym. I know when i'm interested in a girl, i'm a lot more touchy feely toward her than I would normally be with anyone else. Just play tickling in public and poking is a ... (read in full...)
Can you tell the difference between being asked out as a "friend" or a "date"?
Q. How can you tell the difference between a guy asking you out to dinner as a friend and as a potential gf? And what are good ways to tell guys you are not interested and keep them as a friend? ...
A. 6 December 2006: I would say that from experience, if it is something that the guy would not normally do then it is quite possible that he is romantically interested. Unfortunately different guys do different things, but I know that when I ask a girl out, i'm quite ... (read in full...)
Why are my feelings for this new guy, so slow in coming? Is it because I was hurt by my ex bf?
Q. I have been seeing my current boyfriend for about 4 months now. I dont feel like I love him, or that i am anywhere near close to loving him yet. Do you think that this is odd or can love take a long time to arrive? I have only been in love once ...
A. 20 November 2006: Firstly, don't use your past experiences to dictate what should happen with your current boyfriend. Everyone is different. Every relationship is different. Whenever you break up with someone you truly cared a lot about, you still think of them in ... (read in full...)
We're at 6 months of dating..I'm worried he'll dump me like my previous bf did!
Q. I am really sad because Ive been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months and im terrified hes going to dump me. Im 16 and my last boyfriend dumped me after 6 months to the day! Im worried the same things going to happen again! Lately ive been a little more ...
A. 19 November 2006: Firstly, calm down. Just because your last boyfriend dumped you at 6 months does not mean that this one will. Tiredness affects people differently. I know when i'm tired, i'm generally down and not quite with it. Perhaps this is the case with your ... (read in full...)
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