A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with the mother of my children on and off for the past ten years. We have not been together the last 2 years, but it seems as we have had the same relationship as always. The past few months I have realized that with her is where I want to be. We still see each other almost everyday. Recently I learned that she was dating someone else, which she has never done before. She says its nothing serious, but it hurts me so much. How do I show her she is everything to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with her? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (10 April 2007):
 She has started to see someone else so all her focus will be going into that relationship and you have been put on the backburner for now, that's the reason for her distance with you. Give her the space she needs to be with this guy, I know it won't be easy but it might come to nothing. If you keep trying to discourage the relationship you'll only push her closer to him, you know that don't you?
Take control of the situation and be assertive about the whole thing. You want to be with her again but you know you can't, not as long as she's seeing this other guy so you need to take a back seat. Continue to see the kids but remain totally platonic with her, that means NO SLEEPING TOGETHER! Seem interested in her new man, (this let's her think you're happy for her and she'll open up to you more.) even if you hate the thought of her seeing someone else it shows you're not possessive or her and are willing to let her do her own thing and she might not like this. She may even be seeing him to make you jealous (although I don't think that's the case here but you never know.)
Does she know how you feel about her? Have you both sat down and talked seriously about your future together? Have you reassured her that you love her more than anything and that you would never cheat on her again? If so, what are her feelings on what you said? Is there something you're not mentioning here about why she isn't talking to you now? Did you have an argument with her or give her an ultimatum about this other guy she's seeing?
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI cheated on her about three years ago, just before she found out and left. It was bad for the first couple of months after she left but then things got better. Almost back to the way it was when we were together. Now in the last few weeks she refuses to talk to me. What am I doin wrong?
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A
male
reader, Zim +, writes (9 April 2007):
 You need to tell her your feelings. There's no point in waiting around and hoping because she won't know unless you tell her yourself. Like AskEve asked, what was the reason behind your break up?
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A
male
reader, jaffautd +, writes (9 April 2007):
i am in this situation myself apart from she is not seeing anyone yet, mate i would tell her the truth sit her down and be honest with her, this other bloke has not got a patch on you, your the father of her children which means she will always have some love for you, you have to tell her the truth and take it from there hope it works out mate let me know
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (9 April 2007):
She can't read your mind.... if you want to be with her again TELL HER!!! How did you both split up in the first place?
Eve
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