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He said it was hard to be friends with me.

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2013) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 January 2013)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello! I really need someone's advice/words of wisdom. I'll try to keep it short and simple so that it's not a hell to read.

I fell in love with a boy. He was so amazing in every way. I told him I wanted to be with him. At first he said he didn't want to get into a relationship because he was an exchange student in a foreign country. He really hurt my pride then. After some wonderful time we spent together he changed his mind and wanted to be with me. But I didn't want to say yes immediately because of the hurt pride I guess. Inside I was the happiest girl in the world, but I was acting like I didn't care. I decided to stop acting like this. I wanted to tell him about my feelings on the trip to another country that we were taking together with our friends. I thought it would be symbolic - like a fresh start for us. We were discussing the trip and how amazing it would be. I was so happy. I have never been happier. But the next day, when the trip began, he completely ignored me. He would walk out of the room when I walked in. Wouldn't talk to me. I had my heart truly broken for the first time.

I am very shy so I could never confront him in real life. I sent him texts and letters. He never responded.

Only once he texted me saying it was hard to be friends with me because I was "anxious and sad all the time". But it's not true. We had so much fun together. It seemed like he only wanted to hurt me with that accusation.

Why did he do this? Did I ruin this with my own hands? Should I have confronted him in real life? Or was he wrong for not giving me a chance? I loved him in such a beautiful platonic way. And I wanted him to become my boyfriend which never happened and never will. I saw him kissing so many girls afterwards so it's not like he fell in love with someone else. It was awful. This was almost 9 months ago I still think of him everyday. And I think I should hate him, but I can't. I don't even know what is that I feel for him.

View related questions: fell in love, kissing, shy, text

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (6 January 2013):

I think when you decided to act like you didn't care you must have hurt his pride as well.

When it comes to expressing feelings I usually think it is a good idea to get it out right away. You had plans to tell him how you feel but maybe by then he sort of shook off the idea. I don't really know because it is hard to say what really went wrong without hearing his side.

But in the end it doesn't matter. You weren't together with him that long anyway so why are you so hung up on a guy you havn't really dated. It would be a shame to let just one guy ruin your life now, so try to shake yourself over it. In life there will be more than enough chances to find someone new and better. So dont waste your time recycling the past. Nothing will come of it. It is time to move on and live in the present and for the future.

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