A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We have been married for 5 years.Unfortunately live in seperate locations because of work(different continents !) We are committed to getting back together physically in a few months(move work location). My predicament is this, i believe she has been keeping some secrets from me and worried if there is something more.1,We'v always had each-others email passwords but there has been an instance when she changed it.I happened to find it a few weeks later ( i had to access her email for some important documents)and called her mid night her time, she said she forgot her password and i have reasons to think she deleted some chat history or mails before she gave it to me eventually.2, I learned details of a male friend from her former college coming down to meet her( traveling from a nearby country impressive distance to travel casually)3, There is another potential guy problem, a colleague who is getting weirdly close (endearment terms in their emails/chats.He tries to speak to her privately during our vacation, avoids me but speaks with my mom-in-law?) She speaks of him as a friend, but his general behavior suggests me otherwise.I cant believe i am seeking help, i am wondering if i am being paranoid, or is there an issue with my wife. I want to make sure i don't mess-up because i don't want to hurt her, but am worried if there is something wrong. Should i confront her or not?
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (23 December 2012):
There's no way for anyone here to tell you if she's cheating or not. She's probably lonely as are you. I would say that your evidence at this point is circumstantial with the exception of her "friend" visiting.
If he traveled to visit her, it may be that he was planning on going nearby anyways. It's hard to tell.
Did you find out about all of this by reading her emails or by her telling you some of it? If she told you about the friend visiting her, you probably don't have too much to worry about since it would make more sense for her to keep quiet about it if she was planning on cheating. The exception to that would be if she knew that someone might see them together and tell you about it.
I'd love to tell you that you're being paranoid. But leaving your wife behind is just asking for trouble, not because she doesn't love you or want to be with you, but loneliness makes being faithful very difficult, ask anybody in the army!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2012): Thanks for the answers guys, yeah i would say she is a pretty woman. I might have to talk to her about this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2012): You have to be an insane husband to not have your wife actually living with you in the same house & worse still if she is a beautiful woman (your wife's beautiful isn't she?) living all by herself with no man to guard her. Never leave your food garden unattended. The pigs will come & plow it over. Don't confront her. Just tell her that staying far from her makes you feel very anxious & that you love her & don't want other men to sneak in & try to take your place while you are away. If she's guilty her consience will eat her & she'll confess herself. If not, then you don't have anything to worry about. But still, never leave your wife out off site. You are just asking for trouble.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (22 December 2012):
Unless u have some real proof or something your wife is doing wrong then you are just letting your thoughts run away.
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