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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (7 January 2013):
 Hey Kell,
Thanks for the replies. I'm sorry to say that in my case it's less of a fetish. My wife loves massage. She works hard and deserves more than she gets. So it's just my way of saying hey I'm willing if you are awake enough. And she is actually able to sleep through gentle massage. So even if she doesn't wake up she gets something out of it.
About the alarms. Look under hotel alarms. There are plenty of temporary devices. Just don't let your Hubby trip one coming home. That will annoy the neighbors.
FA
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 January 2013):
Not a fetish, just a way to wake you up horny so you want to have sex.
He's probably done it before and you didn't realize it, you just woke up and wanted to be with him and never thought twice about it.
I did it to my wife a few times and just assumed she knew what was going on since she's the one that initiated the sex (I initiated the contact). Then one day she didn't wake up when I was touching her so I stopped, and in the morning said she must have been tired last night. She said yeah how did you know and I told her it was because I was "petting" her and she didn't wake up. Turns out in all the times I've done it she had no idea.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 January 2013):
 I have had FOUR husbands and every single one of them has tried to wake me from sleeping this way.... I don't think it's a fetish think... There's even a video by Trace Adkins that ends with a hubby trying to wake his sleeping wife pretty much this way.
I can sleep through my hubby trying to wake me for sex or feed me (he does feed me in my sleep it's so annoying) but I hear a bump or a noise and that's not familiar and it wakes me.
If you are in an apartment, I suggest wind chimes on the front door and bells on each window.... may not wake you but will startle the invader and may scare him off.
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A
female
reader, Kell0804 +, writes (6 January 2013):
Kell0804 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs this a fetish thing? Men touching their girls/wives while there asleep?
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A
female
reader, Kell0804 +, writes (6 January 2013):
Kell0804 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlarm system sound good but not sure if I am allowed to install one in a apartment building? If I am any good alarm companies in the US?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (6 January 2013):
I do this all the time. (Touch my wife while she is sleeping). Usually she sleeps right through it. I don't worry about her sleeping through a danger, because there is nothing I could do about it anyway, and besides I hate it when it wakes her up panicked and I get thumped. On the other hand she responds in a positive manner often enough to keep my hopes up.
Alarms sound like the right solution to your husbands worries.
FA
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (6 January 2013):
 Our brains have a clever way of subconsciously alerting us to certain things while letting us ignore other things. The science of it is a bit complicated but it's to do with sensory memory.
I think your body/brain knew your husband stroking you wasn't a threat, so you slept through it. A burglar coming into the house would be completely different. I'm sure you'd wake up.
To be on the safe side, you could install burglar alarms. One of those going off would be sure to wake up even the deepest sleeper.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 January 2013):
You're over thinking it! I know a number of people who would sleep through the end of the world, it's not something to worry about.
Not to mention most burglaries are during the day when people are at work. If it makes you feel better leave a light on.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (6 January 2013):
Sounds like over exaggeration on your husbands part. I've seen this pattern a lot in arguments in the last 3 years where people often use the MOST extreme of circumstances where they make the scenario much worse than it is. I don't really get it but there really is a huge line of difference between a home invasion and rubbing a butt.
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